Predictions: Dogs over Darth Rooster, Falcons over Skins

chalkboard

Before getting to this week’s big game between Georgia and the S.S. Columbia, captained by Coach Queeg, we have some news related to roosters: It’s World Farm Animals Week!

I checked PETA’s website, and fortunately they did not mandate that all SEC schools with animal mascots change their names to something more acceptable, like to the Fighting Whole Grain Muffins, but it did commemorate this event with a blog that read in part: “By the end of the day, 104,273 cows, 297,392 pigs, 702,383 turkeys, and 21,261,534 chickens will have been killed in the U.S. to satisfy an old eating habit.”

"Bread. Milk. Overthrow Lichteinstein."

"Bread. Milk. Overthrow Liechtenstein."

And I know what you heathens are thinking: Does that come with fries? Because I’m pretty sure if cows, pigs, turkeys and chickens were sitting at the top of the food chain instead of on the right side of the menu, they would pull into a “Bones” (same name) and ask: “Does the Spurrier chops come with a side? Actually, never mind. They had a weird bitter taste last time. Used to be better when I had them back in Florida.”

OK, so let me bring you up to date on Steve Spurrier: He hasn’t banned any writers from news conferences this week, or even threatened to blow up Alderaan. But he has put his little Napoleon foot down.

True story: The AJC’s Chip Towers was supposed to have a phone interview with South Carolina quarterback Connor Shaw, a hometown kid from Flowery Branch. Spurrier nixed it Wednesday night. No reason was

Whatever you do, DON'T look him in the eyes.

Whatever you do, DON'T look him in the eyes.

given. Apparently, Spurrier either feared Shaw would spill state secrets — “Where are the nukes hidden, Shaw? Tell me. Tell me!” — or Darth Steve just had his feelings hurt because World Farm Animals like me are beating him up for being a paranoid, schizophrenic.

Then again, Chip is kind of intimidating.

He’s 5-foot-7, but he’s Bogart tough and his eyes spit fire.

Oh, Steve. Don’t look now but the eyes in that painting are following you.

Onto Saturday: Georgia’s defense will be better than in the Tennessee game. Aaron Murray will make plays in the fourth quarter. Spurrier will blame a writer. Then his head will explode.

South Carolina is giving 2 points. Take ‘em but you won’t need ‘em. Dogs win this straight up.

Can’t figure out if I like Spurrier better as Captain Queeg ...

… Or Foghorn Leghorn (You can stop after 42 seconds)

Is This Going To Be On The Test?

Maybe Tech will keep Al Groh but just keep moving his office (like Milton).

Maybe Tech will keep Al Groh but just keep moving his office (like Milton).

Georgia Yech at Clemson: Al Groh’s key card still worked this week. Pay all tickets. From Paul Johnson: “If we play like we did Saturday, they may not have enough lights on the scoreboard for Clemson.” Funny. Did he have practice as the lounge act on the Titanic? Clemson wins but take Tech and 10½.

New Hampshire at Ga. State of Confusion: The Panthers hired a search firm for their next coach. I guess when you lose 35-3 to 0-4 Bill & Mary, the program doesn’t sell itself. Hey, Al Groh is available! N.H. by 2 TDs.

LSU at Florida: Zach Mettenberger has progressed since felonious bar-groping charges at Georgia but he is struggling a bit at LSU. And something’s wrong when a team drops in the rankings twice after wins. I smell upset. Take the 2½ as a gift — Gators win.

Arkansas at Auburn: A bankruptcy filing shows John L. Smith $40.7 million in debt. He should open a lemonade stand with Jim Donnan. Louisville’s Charlie Strong denied rumors he’s interested in the Arkansas job, nor is he interested in the toxic waste cleanup business. Tigers cover 9½.

VaTech at North Carolina: Stat trumpeted by the Hokies: They’ve won 23 straight road conference openers. Sounds better than saying they’ve lost to Cincinnati and Pittsburgh. But: Take the 4½ and Hokies on the road.

Miami at Notre Dame: It’s not at Catholics vs. Convicts level but at least both programs are competitive again. Can Nevin Shapiro get this on the big screen in the mess hall? Irish cover 13.

John L. Smith is still smiling, and he has a new pep talk

Pros and Cons

Matt Ryan, starring in Southside Story.

Matt Ryan, starring in Southside Story.

Falcons at Redskins: Matt Ryan’s street cred is off the charts: He engineered a last-minute winning field goal drive from the 1-yard-line despite being sacked seven times and losing three major organs. Then he screamed from the sideline to Carolina, “Get the [bleep] off our field!” Turf war! Can Arthur Blank capitalize and charge for PSL’s in Ryan’s new cheering section: “Matty’s ’Hood”? Birds cover 3.

Eagles at Steelers: Philly has won three games by four points. Pittsburgh’s defense gets back Troy Polamalu and James Harrison. Check? Steelers cover 3½.

Chargers at Saints: If Drew Brees throws a touchdown pass, he will break the consecutive game TD mark previously set by Johnny Unitas at 47. Hey, the timing’s not great, but it’s not like Unitas has a won a game this year, either. Saints cover 4.

Texans at Jets: Jets owner Woody “Inheritance Doesn’t Make You A Visionary” Johnson reportedly is pushing Rex Ryan to start Tim Tebow at quarterback. Because what every good grease fire needs is an aerosol spray can. (Boom!) Houston wins but take New York and 7½.

Here’s your “Sack Schultz” video update

Dollars and sense

sports_betting_1“A gambler with a system must be, to a greater or lesser extent, insane.” – George Augustus Sala.

Last week (doh!): 8-2 straight up, 4-5-1 against the line.

Through Chapter 5 (ahh): 43-12 straight up, 32-21-2 against the line.

Sack Schultz 2012 update: “KarlaMoshe” of Kansas still leads the pack with 62 wins but it’s a tight race. David DuBose (Flowery Branch) and Gerald Schmelzle (Kansas) were among those who went 15-0 last week and were our national and local winners.

Lilly Pick of the Week: She’s 3-2. This week, she went for the salami under Uga before the Rooster. (She’s 2-0 when picking her species.)

Lilly didn't take long with this pick -- probably because I used salami this week.

Lilly didn't take long with this pick -- probably because I used salami this week.

By Jeff Schultz

For previous episodes of Weekend Predictions, click here

For recent blogs, send me $1 and click below

Spurrier should take lesson from Richt on handling criticism

Video: It’s Winnersville! We talk Braves, Falcons, UGA

Medlen becomes an unlikely key to Braves’ postseason

Georgia has uncomfortable mix of highlights, slapstick

After celebration, Chipper Jones admits he was an emotional wreck

Chipper Jones: Braves lose a legend, fans lose a hero, I lose reason to open laptop

Weekend Predictions: No ‘bagels’ but Dogs and Falcons win

Video blog: Are Falcons NFL’s best team (after 3 weeks)? We debate

Falcons are looking special, and it starts with Matt Ryan

Falcons’ defenders preferring Mike Nolan to Brian VanGorder

201 comments Add your comment

Gorilla Biscuit

October 4th, 2012
10:47 am

Obuma got gorilla stomped last night. Gorilla stomped!

Dirty Dawg

October 4th, 2012
10:49 am

Videos perfect, and both fit SS to a ‘T’. Hate it that young Mr Bennett has lost his chance to be a key cog in what we all hope will be a truly outstanding season. Then again, sometimes these things can provide some extra incentive – Win it for Bennett!

JB

October 4th, 2012
10:52 am

Ok, Dawgs have stumbled to 5-0, but geez, I watched SC play Vandy and Kentucky……And SO ! they are not Bama……..They better be worried this week. We ain’t Kentucky.

robodawg

October 4th, 2012
10:55 am

Sounds good. I think UGA-SC will come down to who can make plays in the 4th quarter of a defensive showdown. And I like our chances better there, but it will be a nailbiter.

I agree LSU is poised for an upset in the Swamp.

dean

October 4th, 2012
10:57 am

Vader fans should look up the lyrics to Hendrix’s “Manic Depression”. There is a med for that. They’ll need it come 2300 Saturday night. (For SC fans that’s little hand on the 11, big hand on the 12 and it’s dark outside.)

Thomas Brown

October 4th, 2012
11:00 am

14 points is all South Carolina is going to score ?

I’ll take that bet.

Thomas Brown

October 4th, 2012
11:01 am

Florida is not beating anyone. You just want to say Florida is great because they beat the vols, handily, I point out. The vols are no good.

Big Dave

October 4th, 2012
11:02 am

South Carolina has never lost a game when Marcus Lattimore carries the ball more than 20 times. Start counting.

Esquire

October 4th, 2012
11:02 am

……….not to change the subject:

Redskins Offense Rankings
PTS 30.8 (4th) YDS 421.8 (3rd) PASS YDS 250.8 (15th) RUSH YDS 171.0 (2nd)

They’ve lost to St Louis and Cincinnati, beaten New Orleans and Tampa!
The Falcons, well, they’ve not lost to anybody.

5-6-7-8
Everywhere we goooO,
Everywhere we goooO,
People wanna knooOw,
People wanna knooOw,
Who we aaa are,
Who we aaa are,
So we tell theem, So we tell theem,
We are the FALCONS!! We are the FALCONS!!
MIGHTY MIGHTY FALCONS, MIGHTY MIGHTY FALCONS !!
OHH AHH OHH YEEAHH

Thomas Brown

October 4th, 2012
11:02 am

JB find it amazing you would show back up today.

Thomas Brown

October 4th, 2012
11:04 am

14 points is all South Carolina scores ?

What are you guys smokin this early in the morning ?

HUH?????

October 4th, 2012
11:07 am

“Thanks for calling out Bush for racking up all that debt before heading off to Crawford to play with his chainsaw. ”

Um, ma’am, Bush didn’t run up ANYTHING compared to what Obama did. Try again, ma’am.

HUH?????

October 4th, 2012
11:08 am

TGT doesn’t have any common sense. Try again, ma’am.

ARdawg

October 4th, 2012
11:11 am

Thomas
The Vols are improving every week, like most other teams. I noticed a remarkably difference in their passing game in the Georgia game over the FL game. Baby Dooley might have another year. I think they will beat somebody

I wish it was 1984 again

October 4th, 2012
11:12 am

No braves pick?

kingdaddy

October 4th, 2012
11:13 am

Jeff
I love Lilly and if PETA claims you are abusing her by feeding her salami, you can hide her here in Savannah. Maybe she can “hook-up” so to speak, with Russ. I promise t let her call home at least once a day…

JRW7

October 4th, 2012
11:16 am

GO DAWGS!!!! BEAT THEM CHICKENS!!!!

kingdaddy

October 4th, 2012
11:16 am

Jeff
was that a picture of a Rhode Island Red? They all look the same “plucked”…

JRW7

October 4th, 2012
11:18 am

Yep, them chickens are going to get plucked!

OkieDawg

October 4th, 2012
11:18 am

Jeff was kind of hard on the poor ole Techies. I bet CPJ won’t be inviting Jeff to his next fish fry.

Brainiac(Dawg For Life) / (CMR fan for life)

October 4th, 2012
11:23 am

Most “PITA” folks are actually “Closet Meateaters” and have animal contributed parts made into wearing apparell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Personally I love animals and birds. Grilled is my favorite way of cooking them there tasty criters!!!!!!!

GeezusDawg

October 4th, 2012
11:23 am

Tape your outlets before painting … fyi.

D-Day

October 4th, 2012
11:26 am

“By the end of the day, 104,273 cows, 297,392 pigs, 702,383 turkeys, and 21,261,534 chickens will have been killed in the U.S. to satisfy an old eating habit.”

Looks like those Chick-fil-a commercials are working.

Ryder

October 4th, 2012
11:27 am

Don’t see the Bulldogs winning due to the defensive improvements by South Carolina and Shaw is playing better than Murray. Falcons will get beat by Washington in a close game because they won’t be able to stop the run, and RGIII isn’t as dumb as Cam Newton.

Braves will lose to the World Series MVP David Frese in a close one.

USC dawg beater

October 4th, 2012
11:27 am

Dawg bloggers love to point out info from past seasons to support their argument. Let’s talk about THIS SEASON. Neither team has played a ranked team. Saturday’s game will tell if either of us deserve our top 10 rank. If my boys play like they did against KY first half, it may be scary. If the dawgs play like they did against TN entire game, even scarier for uga. Each team will have to play their best b/c this is the first challenging game so far this season. Better defense and hostile Willy B home crowd are in favor of my beloved Gamecocks. Better get a hearing aid Murray as the noise will get the best of you and your O line. It’s gonna be a Sandstorm! Next season may be better for you, but good luck with that too. Cocks 24, dawgs 20.

kingdaddy

October 4th, 2012
11:28 am

It would be awesome for Medlen to shut the door on the Cards. What a great story he has been this year. Sorry, but he makes me think of the “Bulldog”( Maddox) …

Brainiac(Dawg For Life) / (CMR fan for life)

October 4th, 2012
11:30 am

GT scores enough points to be a pretty big winner in most of their games but………………………their defense apparently has major lapses for some reason(s). There were maybe 6-8 actual hits that indicated the hitter was really serious. Many, many arm tackles/attempted arm tackles but those guys are capable. It has got to be mental!!!!!!!!!!!

By far the WORST performance ever by a GT defense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thomas Brown

October 4th, 2012
11:31 am

That’s because our DL is not making tackles behind the line, and because our Secondary is not making plays, not because the vols are a great team. The vols lost to Florida who had not looked good either, and to us who have not looked good and they have up-coming games against Alabama and South Carolina. I presume you think the vols lose both of those games, too ? Think about what you’re saying.

Greedy

October 4th, 2012
11:33 am

Loved the emotion Matt showed at the end of the game!

kingdaddy

October 4th, 2012
11:34 am

Brain
What do you call a South Carolina football playa involved in a “serious” NCAA infraction investigation???

HUH?????

October 4th, 2012
11:37 am

” RGIII isn’t as dumb as Cam Newton.”

Cam scored higher on his wonderlic test. Not sure where people get the idea that Cam is dumb. He scored higher than most of the other NFL quarterbacks out there.

HUH?????

October 4th, 2012
11:38 am

“What do you call a South Carolina football playa involved in a “serious” NCAA infraction investigation???”

Innocent until proven guilty.

P B Orr

October 4th, 2012
11:39 am

P B Orr

October 4th, 2012
11:40 am

But you know Jeff, he really said “Get the fudge off our field!”

kingdaddy

October 4th, 2012
11:42 am

Grilled Chicken…

AzCat

October 4th, 2012
11:43 am

@Joey posting at 10:46: Truer words were never spoken, my friend. The ‘records’ they are setting today are almost meaningless. Johnny U also led the Colts to back to back titles during the streak.

BiggDawgK

October 4th, 2012
11:45 am

It sure seems like sour spurrier missed his meds this week. He is paranoid that everyone is out to get him and has not too subtly hinted that either his “arch enemy reporter” gets fired or he will pack his visor and go home. Now he cancels his QB’s interview with a nice guy like Chip Towers? I know chicken nation never expected more from sour stevie than a few winning seasons every year or 5 but maybe his personal disapointments in cock country have finally taken their toll.

It’s said there is a fine line between genius and insane and all those years of chicken nation may have finally caused sour stevie to flip his visor.

Thomas Brown

October 4th, 2012
11:45 am

Kris Medlen – say we beat the cards this time, who pitches Sunday ? Who pitches Monday ? This is over before it starts and don’t forget we not only cannot hit and have nothing up the middle, we have no one who is a true hittter on a team with but 2 pitchers.

I wish it was 1984 again

October 4th, 2012
11:47 am

Mr. Schultz need to update your bloggy to inlcude bravees : )

ARdawg

October 4th, 2012
11:48 am

Removing your outlet covers before paint is advised

HUH?????

October 4th, 2012
11:52 am

“say we beat the cards this time, who pitches Sunday ? Who pitches Monday ?”

Minor and Hudson aren’t bad.

Joey

October 4th, 2012
11:57 am

Thomas Brown, have you not seen Mike Minor’s last dozen starts? As good as anybody’s in the NL (other than Medlen). And Huddy’s last couple have been markedly better, and without the “big inning” that plauged him for a couple months.

Those 3 will keep the Braves in any series – provided we get past the play-in game.

Joey

October 4th, 2012
11:58 am

Exactly, HUH???

You beat me to it . . .

Cdpridg

October 4th, 2012
12:00 pm

The Dawgs are just better..as usual…even on the road…

Really?

October 4th, 2012
12:02 pm

With all the success all our teams have enjoyed (Georgia, Falcons, Braves) lately most of the hate filled little nothings have crawled back to their rocks or tenements or relatives basements. It seems little tommy brown eye aka thomas brown one of the most pathetic and moronic of the friendless losers has slithered back onto the blogs.

Have you at least compiled some new pointless stats to repeatedly post ad nauseum or will you bore us with the same crap you have posted a thoousand other times?

Paddy

October 4th, 2012
12:06 pm

If you listen to the LSU folks, you will know that Mettenbuger is not their favorite Tiger! Looks like that bloom has left the rose already! Gators by 10.

kingdaddy

October 4th, 2012
12:07 pm

No problemo, take Minor, Medlen & Hudson and load-up on relievers. Try not to be such a “wet-blanket” Tommy. Can’t you be happy for once in your life? You aren’t prefect yourself and this isn’t a perfect world. Nothing is good enough for you. You seem so miserable and it isn’t necessary. You become a drag to everyone around you. We all want to win, but most of our lives don’t revolve around damming everything we don’t agree with. Sometimes you lose. It’s a fact of life. You need to learn to change the things you can change and live with the things you can’t. Someone is going to win the UGA/SC game, and someone will lose. I hope we win, but if we lose, I will be an adult and congratulate the Cocks. You get too serious Thomas…

Vain Jangling

October 4th, 2012
12:08 pm

I’ve never liked Steve Spurrier, even when he was only a smart aleck, condescending, egotistical, know-it-all. . . . Uh . . . Wait . . . Is this going to end up getting me banned from a Gamecocks press conference?

kingdaddy

October 4th, 2012
12:11 pm

Wow
so many of my favorite bloggers are here. Miss Dawg48…

kingdaddy

October 4th, 2012
12:15 pm

Loved that debate last night and the “spin” today. Obammer is a little shorter this morning than he was yesterday, lol…