Predictions: Dogs, Falcons win, ‘Sack’ video update

week2 003

Before getting to this week’s investment advice, we have an important announcement from Weekend Predictions Storm Central: About 16,000 dead rats, and I’m not sure who actually counted, have washed up on the Mississippi coast since Hurricane Isaac. Officials are withholding names of the rodents until next-of-kin can be notified, although it’s believed none yet have been identified as Jackie Sherrill.

Two from UGA's recruiting class.

Two from UGA's recruiting class.

Mississippi officials assured all that dead, smelly rats on the beach posed no health risk — I am not making this up — but decided to clean them up anyway because they thought the atmosphere at their “Cruisin’ The Coast” event in October might be slightly marred by the carcasses. Now THAT’S thinking ahead! Unlike Sheldon Richardson. (Aspiring writers: This is a transition.)

Richardson did about the dumbest thing a Missouri player could do before the school’s first SEC game. He said he watched some of Georgia’s game on TV last week but turned it off and called it “old-man football.”

When is A.J. Green’s rebuttal?

Bulletin board material doesn’t decide games. But I figure if a mediocre showing against Buffalo didn’t get Georgia’s attention, this did. Assuming the Geritol kicks in: Grumpy Old Men cover 3.

Statler and Waldorf weigh in

IT’S A SACK SCHULTZ UPDATE WITH MOVING LIPS!

Faber College

(Where Knowledge Is Good)

This an actual ad on Presbyterian football page.

This is an actual ad on Presbyterian's football site

Presbyterian at Georgia Tech: Presbyterian’s nickname comes from the early 1900s when the team was referred to as the “Blue Stockings,” and apparently that didn’t sound manly enough. Actual fact: There is an ad on the webpage picturing a woman in underwear and compression stockings, guaranteed to “reduce and prevent varicose veins.” Tell me again why Presbyterian plays football? Jackets by four TDs (no line).

Georgia State at Tennessee: Bill Curry’s team has been outscored 119-7 by two FBS opponents (Alabama, Houston). Something seems worse about getting pummeled by your former rival’s snot-nosed kid. Punk: Get off my lawn! Derek Dooley by four TDs (no line).

Derek and Mr. Curry, a few years back

Auburn at Mississippi State: Dan Mullen on being 3-12 against the SEC West: ”I don’t think about it. I think the media thinks about it an awful lot.” True. Also athletic directors, fans and donors. Take Auburn and 2, and also in a straight upset.

Florida at Texas A&M: A billboard in Gainesville reads, “Howdy Gainesville: You’ve been annexed by Aggie Nation The Best Academics & Cleanest Program in the SEC. WHOOP!.” Love the cleanliness part. After probations in the Southwest and Big 12, I guess they had to get that in quick. Aggies cover 1½.

Savannah State at Florida State: Was Savannah State just hoping to add a couple of bathrooms and some landscaping by scheduling back-to-back games against Oklahoma State ($385,000, 84-0 loss) and FSU ($475,000)? Because they can probably find more players at an orphanage and keep this going against Alabama and USC. Coach Steve Davenport: “You get paid for certain things but I don’t know if some things are worth the payments.” Make him the athletic director. FSU by 40. (no line).

Western Kentucky at Alabama: Nick Saban worked himself into a mock frenzy at a news conference because nobody is giving Western Kentucky the “proper respect.” No Oscar. But he scared the hell out of the Alabama media so mission accomplished. Tide covers 40.

NFL Snack Pack

Tonya had her own little bounty program. (AP photo)

Tonya had her own bounty program.

Falcons at Kansas City: The last time the Falcons played at Arrowhead Stadium came in 2004. They lost 56-10. Totally blew a 3-0 lead. Jim Mora in the postgame: “I am honored to be a part of history.” I think he was being sarcastic, but you can never be sure with paranoid schizophrenics. Speaking of paranoid, Mike Smith was keeping quiet on some obscure lineup decisions, but given how much this game and this season may indicate something about franchise direction, maybe that’s not surprising. Falcons cover 3.

Redskins at Saints: In lieu of the game, Saints players will take turns at the microphone and declare how the world is out to get them. That will be followed by a short video: “The art of knee-capping” by defensive quality control coach Tonya Harding. Saints win, but take the Redskins and 9.

Steelers at Broncos: Am I the only one who thinks Peyton Manning is not going to have a great season? Take Pittsburgh and 1½ and in a mild upset.

Bills at Jets: Over/under on camera shots of Tim Tebow on the sideline: 57. ESPN debates how he handles it in 3 … 2 … 1 … Jets cover 3.

Scorecard

footballbetting“Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.” — Wilson Mizner

Last week: 10-1 straight up, 7-4 against the line.

Lock of the week: Schlage.

SACK SCHULTZ UPDATE: You can still enter even though the season has started. Just go to AJC.com/go/sackschultz2012 to register for a chance to win a trip to Hawaii and other great prizes. Last week I went 14-1. A bunch of folks went 15-0. It ain’t over, bunky.

LILLY’S PICK OF THE WEEK: This was an easy pick for my mutt. She couldn’t go against her species over cats. Given an option, she went straight for the cheese under “Uga” and passed on “Truman The Tiger.” Georgia (minus-3 ½) over Missouri.

Figured I should help Lilly out with captions, just in case.

Figured I should help Lilly out with captions, just in case.

By Jeff Schultz

Weekend Predictions On Demand: Click here for past episodes.

148 comments Add your comment

Tokyo Tom

September 6th, 2012
1:35 pm

Weekend predictions on a Thursday? I’m taking tomorrow off & heading to Las Vegas!

Tokyo Tom

September 6th, 2012
1:40 pm

You’re not the only only who thinks Peyton is in for a long season- I don’t think he even finishes the season!

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

@spencaman

September 6th, 2012
1:53 pm

I think Payton will have a great season. They will rally around him just like they did for Tebow last season. He elevates others play

ATLJacket

September 6th, 2012
1:57 pm

I’m with you Jeff. Not sure how many hits Peyton can take, but I did grab one of his receivers on my fantasy team hoping for the stats. We’ll see.

Taylor Wooten

September 6th, 2012
2:02 pm

Ole Saint Nick is right. Sportswriters have a higher regard from themselves than they deserve

Taylor Wooten

September 6th, 2012
2:02 pm

I do agree that Peyton Manning…aint all that now

They messed up running off Tebow.

bdawg

September 6th, 2012
2:11 pm

I hope UGA goes in there and pops Richardson in the mouth

stevie zero

September 6th, 2012
2:16 pm

jeff, you are, as ever, one of my faves. that said……… respectfully disagreeing with you cause i like fla, miss st, and denver. then again im a retard

Selfish behavior by a few may cost great season

September 6th, 2012
2:18 pm

Good picks Jeff.
The UGA game better not be ruined by lack of presence of the suspended players. They have hurt and put undo pressure on their teammates with selfish, and illegal behavior.
Rambo is particularly disturbing after his apology last year and stating how he could have made a difference in the Boise game. He may well have with his given talent.
This man had a child that sadly passed. A person should always act responsibly, even more so after having a child. Why does he and others continue such selfish and irresponsible behavior. People learn the difference between right and wrong very early in life. They know their actions.
And people stupidly wonder why and how this life of irresponsibilty continues generation to generation. Start with the parents and their parents before them or lack of parenting.
Stop the nonsense.

Joey

September 6th, 2012
2:20 pm

Jeff, all 16,000 of those rats were identified as Saints fans from NO . . .

stevie zero

September 6th, 2012
2:20 pm

and if i hit on those 3 games do i get a visor or an air freshener or anything?

Bobo for Attorney General

September 6th, 2012
2:21 pm

My upset special… UTEP over Ole Siss.

Spanky

September 6th, 2012
2:22 pm

Good reads, Jeff! However, if you keep feeding Lilly cheese, you’ll be cleaning unpleasantries off the carpet, whilst some crafty tech fan steals a “T” from your property! LOL

Also, I think you could take Tonya Harding!!…(just pack a foreign object, just in case!)

Buckeye

September 6th, 2012
2:23 pm

dogs lose ( as usual in a big game)

Hmmmmmmm

September 6th, 2012
2:23 pm

Upset special…. Presbyterians over Yellow Jackets in OT

Chi Town

September 6th, 2012
2:23 pm

Respect Lord Saban

Not Disappointed!

September 6th, 2012
2:24 pm

Dawgs v Mizz should be a good game

Ramblin Wreck out!

Buckeye

September 6th, 2012
2:25 pm

Admit it dogs, you got a tingle up your leg looking at the Tonya Harding photo, didn’t ya?

Jeff Schultz

September 6th, 2012
2:29 pm

Buckeye — This photo of Tonya Harding will cure you:
http://blogue.us/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/First_Fight_09.jpg

UGA Insider

September 6th, 2012
2:30 pm

Vegas only has UGA as a 3.5 point favorite. UGA is the hammerlock of the season! Murray will be dialed in.

big talk from a Buckeye loser

September 6th, 2012
2:31 pm

Buckeye, Dogs lose (as usual in a big game)?
Must be coming from first hand, expert opinion as a Buckeye.
GA and the rest of the SEC knows how to beat Buckeyes (I was there for the UGA whoopass on your Buckeyes last go round).
But then again playing Buckeyes is not really considered a big game.

Brutus the Buckeye

September 6th, 2012
2:31 pm

Urban just saw the Saban video and wet his pants.

RxDawg

September 6th, 2012
2:33 pm

Nice picks. Can’t disagree.

Is anyone else seeing everything underlined?

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

Joey

September 6th, 2012
2:34 pm

Admit it buckeye, you get a tingle in your leg looking at a Urban Myer photo, don’t ya?

Vitalis

September 6th, 2012
2:35 pm

Lilly looks a lot better than Saban.

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

when are they finally shut that cesspool called new orleans down?

September 6th, 2012
2:38 pm

You know all those rats came from scuzzy, New Orleans

zgoldatl

September 6th, 2012
2:38 pm

Joey- Exactly

Uga likes Lilly too

September 6th, 2012
2:39 pm

Lilly sounds like a damn good dog Jeff!

Uga likes Lilly too

September 6th, 2012
2:42 pm

no more salami for Lilly, Jeff?

Vain Jangling

September 6th, 2012
2:42 pm

Well, that’s a first. I just read a sports column which contained the words “paranoid schizophrenic” and made no reference whatsoever to Bobby Valentine. And remember; just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that they’re not out to get you!

And from my perspective, I just hope UGA plays UP to their competition this week. And I wish we were like Alabama and didn’t have to say stupid stuff like that.

Buckeye

September 6th, 2012
2:44 pm

Schulzie,

Thanks for the additional pic.

dogs will appreciate the two-fer!

Buckeye

September 6th, 2012
2:47 pm

dogs are like Obama: Delusional sense of worth (Mandel) over-rated and little substance when it come the big things.

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

mascots a nut? LMAO

September 6th, 2012
2:49 pm

Buckeye you can have Tonya, she’s closer to your neck of the woods up north. Typical type from north also. You must be proud.

Joey

September 6th, 2012
2:50 pm

JS, good thing you didn’t get Lilly to try and pick a winner between the “Toppers” and “Crimson Tide.”

Better stick with dogs, cats, gators, various birds, etc . . .

AzCat

September 6th, 2012
2:55 pm

Buckeye, c’mon man, you should be ashamed of yourself. Coming on here and getting Dawg fans all riled up? That’s like shooting fish in a barrel. ;-)

Buckeye

September 6th, 2012
2:58 pm

mascot,

You haven’t forgotten Cheerleader Anna, one of the dogs’ own?

Mike Bell 790

September 6th, 2012
2:59 pm

GeoffDawg

September 6th, 2012
3:02 pm

Great Dog (Dawg). Looks like the beadboard could use a fresh coat.

GeoffDawg

September 6th, 2012
3:06 pm

Yes, RxDawg, starting at Faber College, everything is underlined.

chc4

September 6th, 2012
3:15 pm

Actually there is a line on the FSU – Savannah State. And it’s 70.5! Never seen a number that insanely high. But OK State beat em 84-0 last week so who knows.

Bryan G.

September 6th, 2012
3:17 pm

I read that there was a 70.5 point line on FSU/Savannah State. I think you should re-write and tell me if you like FSU to cover 10 TDs and a hook!

ATL Rocks

September 6th, 2012
3:17 pm

Very funny stuff. I am so glad football is finally here.

KEN

September 6th, 2012
3:19 pm

You need to paint those baseboards Jeff.

Pitbull

September 6th, 2012
3:26 pm

Tech is playing Presbyterian College?

I guess Greater Atlanta Christian and Agnes Scott were already booked.

DawginLex

September 6th, 2012
3:33 pm

Not knowing about the suspended players only adds to the drama.

I believe UGA can score a lot but Mizzou is capable, especially without Tree and Rambo

Still believe we can get it done. Lord knows we need to.

dawggirl

September 6th, 2012
3:34 pm

Great column, Statler and Waldorf were the highlight. And Lilly, of course. Let me know if you ever need a petsitter, Jeff. But I can’t do it on the High Holidays, of course. I’ll have to repent based on the results of this weekend.