Weekend (Bowl) Predictions: Dogs, Jackets, Alabama win

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Hello. I am back.

Weekend Predictions, which like college football has no playoff system and often makes no sense, one difference being our advisory board has the built-in excuse of the shiitake’s mutant and illegal cousin, traditionally returns for one bowl edition.

It has been another profitable season. W.P. Inc. is 26 games above .500 against the line. But of course all I get are no tips, no thank-you notes, just emails that read, “Ya moron! Ya picked the Gators to beat the Dawgs! Coach Richt is going to smite your liberal West Coast beehind! Hey Marge, I got him good. Pop-Tarts ready yet?”

OK, let’s make this quick. Too many games to get to.

Georgia has had a good week. There has been no news of academic suspensions — fill in name of oft-speculated freshman running back — and I think the Dogs already have clinched the 2012 SEC East title, given Alabama has been dropped from the Hostess-wrapped schedule.

Here’s a nice consolation prize for having their limbs ripped off by LSU: sunshine (Outback Bowl) and Michigan State (good defense but No. 60 offense). And to think, 12 months ago, Georgia was losing to Central Florida in the Liberty Bowl.

A season completed in the alternate universe: Dogs cover 3½.

Get Your Hands Off My Wings

It seems Paul Johnson will do anything to break a bowl hex.

It seems Paul Johnson will do anything to break a bowl hex.

Sun: Tech-Utah: Paul Johnson’s offense has managed only 24 points in the past three bowls. Al Groh’s defense has allowed 99 points in the past three games. Also, the Jackets haven’t won a bowl game since I think 1937. But wait! Here comes the Sun! Tech covers 2½.

Chick-fil-A: Virginia-Auburn: All-SEC running back Michael Dyer has been suspended for unknown reasons. Funny. Last year Cam Newton wasn’t suspended and everybody thought the reasons for one were obvious. Auburn covers 3.

Capital Uno: Nebraska-South Carolina: So now everyone’s giving Steve Spurrier a warm embrace for his coaching this year. Never mind that he took enabling to new levels with Stephen Garcia. The guy would go to an AA meeting and suggest everybody just switch to light beer if he thought it would help him win a game. Take the 2½ and Nebraska in an upset.

Urban Gator Bowl: Ohio State-Florida: It’s the “Beatles at Shea,” with Urban Meyer in the roles of all four Beatles. He’ll arrive by helicopter, sing “Twist And Shout” and “Can’t Buy Me Love” (he’ll lie) and then bask in the afterglow of his former and future kingdoms. Gators cover 2.

The Fab 1 . . .

Fiesta: Stanford-Oklahoma State: Andrew Luck, Stanford kid, noted this week that Frank Lloyd Wright had a winter home named Taliesin West in Scottsdale, Ariz., near the Fiesta Bowl. Yeah. I think he probably can read a defense. Cardinal covers 3½.

BCS Zit Of  The Year: Virginia Tech earned its way to the Sugar Bowl by losing its last game to Clemson 38-10. Your honor: The prosecution rests. Michigan covers 2½.

Rose: Empire vs. Wisconsin: Just saw Oregon’s latest uniforms to be unveiled. The Ducks will make it to the game, assuming they don’t miss their connecting flight on the Death Star. Ducks cover 6.

First, we defeat Wisconsin. Then, we blow up Alderaan.

First, we defeat Wisconsin. Then, we blow up Alderaan, Princess Leia's home in Ivy League.

Orange: Clemson-West Virginia: Once again, the Tigers have enough talent to overcome Dabo Swinney. Clemson covers 3.

Cotton: Arkansas vs. K-State: Bobby Petrino lost his three coordinators in the past few weeks. He hates it when people just walk out like that. Piggies win, but take K-State and 7½.

And, drum roll …

BCS Sorta Championship: Alabama over LSU: Yeah, I hate rematches, too. But these are the two best teams, and the best of the two didn’t win the last time because of a crooked-footed kicker. Not going to happen twice. Bama wins and covers 1.

NFL Fridge Pack

Artist's rendition of Jerry's head if Cowboys whiff.

Artist's rendition of Jerry's head if Cowboys whiff.

Bucs at Falcons: I have a question for anybody who’s upset that the Saints drove to that final touchdown Monday night to get Drew Brees the passing record: Would you really feel that much better if the final score were 38-16? Falcons cover 13.

Cowboys at Giants: There are no bad outcomes here, Dallas losing and Jerry Jones spontaneously combusting when the Cowboys don’t make the playoffs again gets the edge over miserable New York fans. Giants cover 3.

Lions at Packers: The Lions can clinch the No. 5 seed with a win, and Ndamukong Suh is psyched. He just eye-gouged a Salvation Army bell-ringer in front of Kroger. It’s a risk, but take Packers and 3½ as a home ‘dog.

Sofia: Your starting job is safe.

Sofia's starting job is safe. (Photo: WWD)

Redskins at Dream Team: It will be fascinating to watch Michael Vick vs. DeAngelo Hall in the playoffs. Oh, wait a minute. Eagles cover 9.

Chiefs at Broncos: Some survey just named Tim Tebow the most desirable celebrity neighbor for 2012. John Elway voted for Sofia Vergara, who did not throw four interceptions last week in Buffalo. Broncos wins, but take the Chiefs and 3½.

Chargers at Raiders: There’s something wrong with Norv Turner’s plane ticket to Oakland. It says “coach.” Oakland covers 3.

Damn, I’m Good

fbgamble

“A gambler with a system must be, to a greater or lesser extent, insane.” — George Augustus Sala

In our last episode: 7-3 straight up, 5-5 against the line.

Your 2011 financial report: 116-44 straight up; 92-66-2 against the line.

By Jeff Schultz

Follow me on Twitter (@JeffSchultzAJC). Friend me on Facebook (Facebook.com/JeffSchultzAJC).

397 comments Add your comment

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
5:17 pm

5 Time National Champs Nebraska
the N on the helmet stands for Nobody Cares.
Now go make some chicken feed with all that corn you got.

Joe Tess Fish House

December 29th, 2011
5:18 pm

I 4 got 2 mention the big blunder of trading away the draft for Julet Jones.

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
5:19 pm

Joey don’t drink no Kool-Aid! He drinks Jack Daniel’s and Gatorade on the Rocks.

Yo Vince

December 29th, 2011
5:19 pm

Jaw Jaw fan is so sad. Dawgs had a 1 hit wonder in 1980 with Hershel, and nothing before or after. Please keep hatin on Bama. It just shows how pathetic your fan base is. The ability to read the record books would help, but they don’t teach that over there.

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
5:20 pm

where’s my friend flat tire been??? one of the few dawg fans who makes any sense…

SSIgator

December 29th, 2011
5:21 pm

evil empire -

Richt is having a bit of a problem trying to re-negotiate his endorsement contract with Carpets of Dalton. They are having trouble with the new stain-resistant formula for Dawg pea. Seems the new high octane KoolAid formula is breaking down the carpet fibers.

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
5:24 pm

Vince, they don’t have any reason to read record books when 1980 is all you have to remember…an empty history…

Yo Vince

December 29th, 2011
5:24 pm

Joe Tess fish pants. Julio basically missed 5 games this year. He average 80 yards catching and 10 running. Had he played all of the games, he would be the #1 rookie receiver by far. Quit hatin loser.

Sid

December 29th, 2011
5:25 pm

Tigers going down? ?That’s some ‘nads there Jethro….!!

SSIgator

December 29th, 2011
5:26 pm

Joey -

Read your post. You don’t have to be a KoolAid drinker. All you have to do is say you are a believer and the money is yours. Richt is a very generous guy. Just ask some of the guys that work for him. Just don’t tell the NCAA.

Joey

December 29th, 2011
5:29 pm

Black Jack, occasionally, UOAD.

Gatorade? Well, no, just can’t tolerate anything developed in Gainesville FL.

Including Gatorade.

And “love bugs.”

Merry Marr

December 29th, 2011
5:29 pm

MSU 42, Athens Special Admits 10

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
5:31 pm

SSIGator, i would like to see the powers that be over uga kool-ade production come out with limited edition flavors, recognizing some of their greatest bloggers here on the ajc…what an honor that would be…

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
5:32 pm

ND Catholics v FSU Criminols
FSU by 10

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
5:35 pm

the dream season dies a horrible death…Michigan State 44…uga 13…can’t take away that Coastal Carolina win though…you guys really flexed your muscles that day…Murray was brilliant…good times…..

DawginTX

December 29th, 2011
5:37 pm

Man, it’s not enough to have Florida and Tech fans talking trash, now we have cornholers. I don’t feel the need to aplogize for avoiding the top 3 teams in the West, because there have been times when we have had to play Bama, LSU, and Auburn when Auburn was among the top 3. It happens to everybody in the SEC; that’s why the schedule rotates.

Look, I doubt we’ll be a top 5 team as far as talent goes, but we should be favored in every game except 1. So there’s a reasonable chance that we could be undefeated or have one loss going into the first weekend in December. And if that happens, we probably play in a national semifinal in the SEC championship game. There’s no reason I should feel bad about that.

Nebraska

December 29th, 2011
5:37 pm

I forgot the cornholers still existed. Thanks for reminding us. Tom Osbourne was a great coach when you guys were still an FBS team.

SSIgator

December 29th, 2011
5:40 pm

evil empire -

They have already started. The only two that have been officially named are:

1) AltamahaDawd Apple flavor

and

2) DawginLex Lime flavor

Their chemists are still working on more formulas to match the honorees as best as possible. Updates will be released when available.

Sid

December 29th, 2011
5:42 pm

Let’s not keep it under wraps that Petrino’s son was arrested Christmas Day (that’s the 25th my friend) for everything under the sun except for the love of a father.

http://espn.go.com/blog/sec/post/_/id/24779/bobby-petrinos-son-arrested-on-drug-charges

bjohndawg

December 29th, 2011
5:44 pm

I see Georgia spanking that Gator A%# next year again.

Nebraska

December 29th, 2011
5:48 pm

Yo Vince – Nice 5 fake National Championships. I laugh every time I see a 13 time national championship shirt. Only douches like Bama would exaggerate and claim any and everything, when you already have a good history of winning. At least 5 are undeserved and you know it. Actually you probably don’t. It’s OK for you to be a tard, since you are from Bama. Go kill some more trees Alabama trash.

Nebraska

December 29th, 2011
5:50 pm

Man these kool aid jokes are funny. I bet they’ll impress your friends at Comicon.

DawginTX

December 29th, 2011
5:52 pm

For Florida fans, it must really suck knowing that you used to be relevant, but aren’t anymore. And for Tech fans, it must really suck knowing that even when you win your crappy conference, you will still get beat by Georgia. My team won 10 in a row, is playing a ranked team who played for their conference championship, is returning nearly everybody, and has a favorable schedule next year. This Kool-ade certainlty tastes better than the bitter beverage you’re drinking.

Burma Shave

December 29th, 2011
5:55 pm

Richt is a coward
Who drops the Tide
All he wants
Is a free ride

BURMA SHAVE

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
5:56 pm

DawginTX UGa was 6-7 last year. Now you are RELEVANT after losing to the good teams on your schedule? YOU been SMOKE’N with Crowell haven’t you?

bjohndawg

December 29th, 2011
5:56 pm

UGA 12-0 next year.
Book it Dan o.

Florida will be lucky to be 6-6.
If they are lucky. Of course with Fla Atlantic, UAB and Furman on the schedule they should be good for 6 right.
Funny I dont see Alabama on their schedule either.Nor Auburn.
Just LSU at home the only difference.
But they can count that as a loss.

I'll speak very slowly so you can understand

December 29th, 2011
6:03 pm

Hey, DawginTX, can you say “Special Admit”? 94% of your bozos can barely read or write, and will be on welfare most of their lives.

That’s something to be proud of, isn’t it? Give Richt another raise for coaching these dumbasses!

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
6:05 pm

I will say this…………..I figure if Vegas is Smart and they are! The odds should be pretty enticing for the DAWG fans to bet before the season on going 12-0……..There will be some missing trailer payments, money for trips to the dentists, and no money for hunt’n licenses because it will be on The DAWGS going 12-0.

DawginTX

December 29th, 2011
6:07 pm

@5150, yeah, we have 1 losing season in 11 years under our head coach. He has 7 10+win seasons, in that time span. Played for 4 SEC titles, won 2, and played in 3 BCS games. Going forward, we are returning just about everybody from the SEC East champion, and it looks like we are poised to repeat. Yeah, I’d say we are pretty relevant. What is your outlook for next year?

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
6:11 pm

I see the same old UGa. Win a bunch of games and not turn it into anything much. Richt is the Dale Earnhardt Jr of the SEC. Richt wins but NOTHING that matters much. Yes Richt has beat Florida, Bama, Auburn, and LSU but it has NEVER got UGa to the BIG GAME.

Joey

December 29th, 2011
6:11 pm

Burma Shave won’t name his team
But, how can we assign blame?
He can’t bear to tell us it’s GT
Else he’d have to bear the shame . . .

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
6:13 pm

sounds like a kool-ade typhoon has hit in Texas….gonna switch over to the weather channel for details…

DawginTX

December 29th, 2011
6:13 pm

Special admits? Please. Everybody is on the same playing field when it comes to recruiting and admitting athletes. Non-athlete admission standards vary by university but are generally higher than the NCAA minimums. But I am sure that your university only accepts members of Mensa to play football. And I am sure people at your university would pack a 90,000 seat stadium to see a chess match. Grow up!

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
6:14 pm

hey Joey…you from Calhoun???

gt4ever

December 29th, 2011
6:17 pm

OK here we go with the 12 and 0 predictions….. bjohndawg, just don’t talk. You look foolish… Like us, UGA has beat NOBODY….. Period!

DawginTX

December 29th, 2011
6:18 pm

It sounds like a World of Warcraft convention has hit Dalton. You should alert SSIgator immediately so that you can protect your kingdom.

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
6:19 pm

Joey Burma Shave isn’t TECH either. He just slams every team equally over the year. He is hard to read.

DawginTX UGa has 73% special admits on the football team. The school only has 6% for regular students. That is PATHETIC. 3/4’s of your team isn’t bright enough to get in school if it were not for football. College is about EDUCATION first unless we are talking SEC football.

gt4ever

December 29th, 2011
6:20 pm

Dawg fans, we are World Beaters, until we play somebody good…. You guys are beyond delusional ..

DawginTX

December 29th, 2011
6:21 pm

5150, what team are you a fan of?

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
6:21 pm

i’m currently guarding my castle…keeping all the ugatards from stealing a/c units and copper piping…

gt4ever

December 29th, 2011
6:21 pm

5150,

Special admits are the same everywhere…. GT has its share, and always has….

UG's Stephen A.Dawg. UF get ready for a losing 6-7 record !

December 29th, 2011
6:23 pm

SSI Gator: Didn’t I tell you to get on the Times-Union Gator blog and help Muschamp find an OC and fill all the vacancies on his woeful staff. 2012 is gonna be another bad season in the Swamp. You need to get off our Georgia blog and start searching for a new head coach. At the end of 2012 Muschamp will resign and you guys need to get to work as soon as possible. Ohio St will rout the pathetic Gators in the Gator Bowl in a few days to finish 2011 with a terrible 6-7 losing record ! LOL ! Go Dawgs !

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
6:27 pm

the same 6-7 record the dawgtards were celebrating one year ago…loser…go dawgs!…hahahahahahaha…..

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
6:31 pm

gt4ever I would doubt GT has 73% special admits. I doubt Vandy, UNC, Duke, & Kentucky are that high either. UGa has raised its admissions standards and that doesn’t help, but still that is not fair to the tax payers of the state whose child can’t get in because 20 DUMB football players/ year took spots.

SSIgator

December 29th, 2011
6:34 pm

evil empire -

We had a rash of police car thefts here in Glynn County recently. Turned out the perps were UGA fans and they said they stole them because when they saw the 911 painted on the sides, they thought they were made by Porsche and would have great value on the black market.

JSS

December 29th, 2011
6:40 pm

Muy elegente sombrero es especial en Saltillo. Sr. Schultz. Sra. Vergera es Columbiana, pero muy bonita Latina senoritas eres Mexicana y Nuevo Leon y Jalisco!

Futbol Americano de Colegio… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

UG's Stephen A.Dawg.

December 29th, 2011
6:42 pm

Jimbo Fisher’s FSU offense is actually worse than Richt/Bobo’s UGA offense. When will Jimbo wake up and admit his offensive coaching and playcalling really sucks. FSU has no blocking whatsoever from the offensive line and as a result has no hope of a running or passing game ! FSU’s offense is dead in the water, but Notre Dame is also offensively challenged at quarterback. Both of these teams are pathetic on offense, but year in and out both of them brag and boast how great they recruit. They bring in top recruiting classes just for the coaches to dumb the players down on the field. Kind of reminds me of what happens at UGA annually on offense. James Wilder Jr., FSU’s top recruit last year is a bust at running back behind the woeful FSU offensive line and needs to move back to linebacker. It appears the restless FSU fans are as fed up with the pathetic offensive performances as Georgia fans are when Aaron Murray quarterback the Dawgs against a team with a winning record. If Jimbo can’t get it together maybe FSU will dump him and take Richt off UGA’s hands in 2014.

Stinger2

December 29th, 2011
6:42 pm

Jeff or anyone: how did VT get picked for the Sugar Bowl? Also I heard that because they are the second team from the ACC picked for a BCS bowl, they will get only a very small payout. Is this true?

LogicalUS

December 29th, 2011
6:42 pm

” VHS tape of the 1980 Sugar Bowl.”

I think you mean beta, that was so long ago they hadn’t gotten around to VHS.

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
6:42 pm

JSS you really need to go back to school you don’t know how to spell very well. At least you spelled Schultz right.
It is AMERICAN FOOTBALL!