Weekend (Bowl) Predictions: Dogs, Jackets, Alabama win

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Hello. I am back.

Weekend Predictions, which like college football has no playoff system and often makes no sense, one difference being our advisory board has the built-in excuse of the shiitake’s mutant and illegal cousin, traditionally returns for one bowl edition.

It has been another profitable season. W.P. Inc. is 26 games above .500 against the line. But of course all I get are no tips, no thank-you notes, just emails that read, “Ya moron! Ya picked the Gators to beat the Dawgs! Coach Richt is going to smite your liberal West Coast beehind! Hey Marge, I got him good. Pop-Tarts ready yet?”

OK, let’s make this quick. Too many games to get to.

Georgia has had a good week. There has been no news of academic suspensions — fill in name of oft-speculated freshman running back — and I think the Dogs already have clinched the 2012 SEC East title, given Alabama has been dropped from the Hostess-wrapped schedule.

Here’s a nice consolation prize for having their limbs ripped off by LSU: sunshine (Outback Bowl) and Michigan State (good defense but No. 60 offense). And to think, 12 months ago, Georgia was losing to Central Florida in the Liberty Bowl.

A season completed in the alternate universe: Dogs cover 3½.

Get Your Hands Off My Wings

It seems Paul Johnson will do anything to break a bowl hex.

It seems Paul Johnson will do anything to break a bowl hex.

Sun: Tech-Utah: Paul Johnson’s offense has managed only 24 points in the past three bowls. Al Groh’s defense has allowed 99 points in the past three games. Also, the Jackets haven’t won a bowl game since I think 1937. But wait! Here comes the Sun! Tech covers 2½.

Chick-fil-A: Virginia-Auburn: All-SEC running back Michael Dyer has been suspended for unknown reasons. Funny. Last year Cam Newton wasn’t suspended and everybody thought the reasons for one were obvious. Auburn covers 3.

Capital Uno: Nebraska-South Carolina: So now everyone’s giving Steve Spurrier a warm embrace for his coaching this year. Never mind that he took enabling to new levels with Stephen Garcia. The guy would go to an AA meeting and suggest everybody just switch to light beer if he thought it would help him win a game. Take the 2½ and Nebraska in an upset.

Urban Gator Bowl: Ohio State-Florida: It’s the “Beatles at Shea,” with Urban Meyer in the roles of all four Beatles. He’ll arrive by helicopter, sing “Twist And Shout” and “Can’t Buy Me Love” (he’ll lie) and then bask in the afterglow of his former and future kingdoms. Gators cover 2.

The Fab 1 . . .

Fiesta: Stanford-Oklahoma State: Andrew Luck, Stanford kid, noted this week that Frank Lloyd Wright had a winter home named Taliesin West in Scottsdale, Ariz., near the Fiesta Bowl. Yeah. I think he probably can read a defense. Cardinal covers 3½.

BCS Zit Of  The Year: Virginia Tech earned its way to the Sugar Bowl by losing its last game to Clemson 38-10. Your honor: The prosecution rests. Michigan covers 2½.

Rose: Empire vs. Wisconsin: Just saw Oregon’s latest uniforms to be unveiled. The Ducks will make it to the game, assuming they don’t miss their connecting flight on the Death Star. Ducks cover 6.

First, we defeat Wisconsin. Then, we blow up Alderaan.

First, we defeat Wisconsin. Then, we blow up Alderaan, Princess Leia's home in Ivy League.

Orange: Clemson-West Virginia: Once again, the Tigers have enough talent to overcome Dabo Swinney. Clemson covers 3.

Cotton: Arkansas vs. K-State: Bobby Petrino lost his three coordinators in the past few weeks. He hates it when people just walk out like that. Piggies win, but take K-State and 7½.

And, drum roll …

BCS Sorta Championship: Alabama over LSU: Yeah, I hate rematches, too. But these are the two best teams, and the best of the two didn’t win the last time because of a crooked-footed kicker. Not going to happen twice. Bama wins and covers 1.

NFL Fridge Pack

Artist's rendition of Jerry's head if Cowboys whiff.

Artist's rendition of Jerry's head if Cowboys whiff.

Bucs at Falcons: I have a question for anybody who’s upset that the Saints drove to that final touchdown Monday night to get Drew Brees the passing record: Would you really feel that much better if the final score were 38-16? Falcons cover 13.

Cowboys at Giants: There are no bad outcomes here, Dallas losing and Jerry Jones spontaneously combusting when the Cowboys don’t make the playoffs again gets the edge over miserable New York fans. Giants cover 3.

Lions at Packers: The Lions can clinch the No. 5 seed with a win, and Ndamukong Suh is psyched. He just eye-gouged a Salvation Army bell-ringer in front of Kroger. It’s a risk, but take Packers and 3½ as a home ‘dog.

Sofia: Your starting job is safe.

Sofia's starting job is safe. (Photo: WWD)

Redskins at Dream Team: It will be fascinating to watch Michael Vick vs. DeAngelo Hall in the playoffs. Oh, wait a minute. Eagles cover 9.

Chiefs at Broncos: Some survey just named Tim Tebow the most desirable celebrity neighbor for 2012. John Elway voted for Sofia Vergara, who did not throw four interceptions last week in Buffalo. Broncos wins, but take the Chiefs and 3½.

Chargers at Raiders: There’s something wrong with Norv Turner’s plane ticket to Oakland. It says “coach.” Oakland covers 3.

Damn, I’m Good

fbgamble

“A gambler with a system must be, to a greater or lesser extent, insane.” — George Augustus Sala

In our last episode: 7-3 straight up, 5-5 against the line.

Your 2011 financial report: 116-44 straight up; 92-66-2 against the line.

By Jeff Schultz

Follow me on Twitter (@JeffSchultzAJC). Friend me on Facebook (Facebook.com/JeffSchultzAJC).

397 comments Add your comment

Falcon Hardy

December 29th, 2011
3:51 pm

Who knows what the Falcons wil do

BravesFan

December 29th, 2011
3:53 pm

Roll Tide!!!

Chi Town

December 29th, 2011
3:54 pm

Respect, Saban.

#CF

Chi Town

December 29th, 2011
3:55 pm

Anyone heard from Zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Nachos lately?

jtb

December 29th, 2011
4:00 pm

Jeff,
Is Michigan being in the Sugar Bowl any better than Virginia Tech being there? Michigan lost handily to Michigan State and they had the same record going into Championship weekend where State lost due to a running into the kicker penalty. Isn’t the only reason Michigan is in the game because they travel well?

Steve

December 29th, 2011
4:00 pm

Good picks! However I don’t think Tech will ever win a bowl game again. Haven’t they lost like 5 or 6 in a row? Utah is red hot in bowl games as well.

Old Dawg

December 29th, 2011
4:06 pm

Sun Bowl = lowest attendance record….. the stands will be 1/2 full.. like in the flats..

DILLIGAF

December 29th, 2011
4:07 pm

“Never mind that he took enabling to new levels with Stephen Garcia. The guy would go to an AA meeting and suggest everybody just switch to light beer if he thought it would help him win a game.”

Schultz, I bet you are riot after a couple of adult beverages. That’s funny stuff!!

UGA/85′
GATA!

SSIgator

December 29th, 2011
4:08 pm

Jeff -

“Hey Marge, I got him good. Pop-Tarts ready yet?”

“the Hostess-wrapped schedule”

You really outdid yourself today. Two great (and very accurate) lines in one article. Bravo!

MS. Bully

December 29th, 2011
4:11 pm

Now it is guaranteed that LSU will win it all. Thank goodness I will not have to listen to all these Bama stay at home fans brag for another year.

Joey

December 29th, 2011
4:12 pm

I’m voting with Elway. I want to be Sofia’s neighbor! Hot Damn!

Go Dawgs (Monday)!

SSIgator

December 29th, 2011
4:16 pm

“the Dogs already have clinched the 2012 SEC East title”

They sure think they have. Orders are already pouring in for the 2012 Pre-Season National Champions tee shirts. Better reserve one quick. If you are one of the first one hundred people, you will also get a VHS tape of the 1980 Sugar Bowl.

Stephen Garcia

December 29th, 2011
4:18 pm

Ya Moron! My old mates beat the Huskers. Stay thirsty my friends!

Steve

December 29th, 2011
4:19 pm

Awww SSIgator don’t be mad that Florida is terrible and will be for years to come. Yes, UGA will be the favorite to win the SEC East. Guess what? They have no control over their SEC schedule.

dawgfan

December 29th, 2011
4:22 pm

Alabama is playing for a share of the mythical national title at best. LSU is playing for history. No way they lose this game but a BCS Champ that didn’t even win its division sure would be funny.

I don’t know a single solitary thing about Michigan State but Dawgs win.

Utah’s 325 lb. nose tackle=Another bowl loss for the nerds. Plus, Chow will run circles around Groh. If Bobo can do pull it off it can’t be that hard.

I could absolutely care less about the rest of the games.

gdawginkalamazoo

December 29th, 2011
4:23 pm

Ha! Johnson ought wear that hat while coaching the game.

SSIGator, did I ever thank you guys for hiring Muschamp? If not thanks dude. There were actually dawg fans looking to replace Coach Richt with Muschamp. Good luck in the Urban Meyer bowl game.

Hollywould

December 29th, 2011
4:28 pm

Good stuff Jeff/ Takin Bama in the rematch 3-2. Should be exciting

Troll Power Ratings

December 29th, 2011
4:30 pm

@SSIgator: Obsess much? Its a bowl blog. Go Gators. Chill….

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
4:31 pm

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
4:32 pm

For all the Dawg fans that can’t make it to the game they are having a huge. http://www.accessatlanta.com/atlanta-holiday-guide/ga-town-prepares-to-1280185.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm

Dalton Dawg

December 29th, 2011
4:34 pm

Chi Town! You really meant to say hate Satan instead of respect Satan. You have to earn respect to get repsect and the Dawg nation could give two cents one way or the other when it comes to him.

BravesFan! By all means roll the tide and whole state of Alabama down the hill until it reachs the ocean. By the way after LSU beats your boys again and with the fall off in talent Satan will hit the road next year. The new home for Satan will be Texas after they can Mack Brown and good ridance and Alabama will be terrible again how seat it is.

CGD..

December 29th, 2011
4:40 pm

Hey Jeff, Sofia looks like Al Horford’s girl he Wife’d over the Holidays?

Lucky Guy…I think????

Starring Kam Fong as Chin Ho

December 29th, 2011
4:43 pm

@SSIgator, Timmy has gone pro, Urban has gone …….well, away and the once mighty Gators have returned to their pre Spurrier days of just being annoying. Enjoy your (not so) new reality. You have had a couple of good decades, but it will be a while before you return to anything more than average.

Sutton's Fro

December 29th, 2011
4:46 pm

Jeff,

The teacher said you have to go back to the blackboard to correct your spelling. “Weekend Preditions”?

Buckeye

December 29th, 2011
4:47 pm

Yepper, we’re getting to the point in the season when the dog fans begin to drool on what might come to pass – next year.

Tech in Bowl Games = Humiliation of the Triple Joke

December 29th, 2011
4:48 pm

How will UT do in their bowl game this year?

OH YEAH

BBBUUUHHUUUWWWAAAHHHAAHHHAAHHHAAHHHAAHHHAAHHHAA

Which is worse, the Dooley or Muschamp hire?

BBBUUUHHUUUUWWWAAHHHAAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Innocent Bystander

December 29th, 2011
4:48 pm

The Beatles played Atlanta Stadium before the Braves did: August 18th 1965 and they did perform Twist and Shout. Good line about Petrino.It’s wrong for LSU to have to beat Alabama twice to claim the NC.

Joey

December 29th, 2011
4:51 pm

SSIgator, ever been to Hilliard or Callahan FL? I expect there are equally as many Gator fans predicting glory next season as are UGA fans.

In fact, let MSU beat the Bulldogs Monday, and there will be a new Richt hot seat, among the fans at least.

Apparently McGarity is ready to give his HC a raise and extension for beating teams he should have beaten – this past season. He didn’t even accomplish that the 2+ previous years, but what the hell – all is forgiven!

Oh, but to find a job like that . . .

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
4:53 pm

Tech football players got their Bowl Game Swag! Looks like it will come in handy for campus walks.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2547611166013&set=a.2547611126012.2113632.1125810748&type=1&theater

Have fun guys but WIN the DAMN GAME.

SSIgator

December 29th, 2011
4:54 pm

Buckeye -

“Yepper, we’re getting to the point in the season when the dog fans begin to drool on what might come to pass – next year”

You think it is bad now? Wait until August. They will be drowning in their own saliva. Wait, it’s not saliva – it’s KoolAid.

Worm

December 29th, 2011
4:55 pm

Used to like Bama, but their fans are obnoxious..GATA Hatter!

Joe Bob Thibodaux

December 29th, 2011
4:56 pm

Jeff, They just found Jimmy Hoffa!
/
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He was in the yellow pages, under Cement.

Now Jeff, get real. Bama over the Tigers?

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
4:56 pm

JEFF no RG3 or the ND v FSU? You can’t pick ALL the bowl games between Now and Next Thursday?

Joey

December 29th, 2011
4:56 pm

Buckeye, I recall you drooling at the end of last bowl season, and I pretty sure it went something like this: “OSU will be winning the Big Ten, and going to a BCS Bowl, and UGA will be 6-6 again heading to Shreveport.”

Remember that?

Urban Myer will have the Buckeyes competing again, but thanks to his cheating, lying predecessor, it may take 3 or 4 years.

Enjoy.

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
4:57 pm

BAMA by 10 over LSU.

Tech in Bowl Games = Humiliation of the Triple Joke

December 29th, 2011
4:58 pm

Buckeye,

Now comes the point in the season where you think about next year. Oh yeah, you have nothing to play for next year, because your team runs a program that makes Miami look clean.

Keep talking gaytor – we’re all laughing at your pain.

I'm a moron according to Schultz

December 29th, 2011
5:00 pm

In lieu of Katrina and FEMA references, I will instead make issue with the driving skills of the New Orleans citizens.

http://www.ajc.com/news/nation-world/2-dead-622-dead-62-hurt-1280305.html

40 vehicles? Just how stupid can a city be? You never see that in Atlanta. No doubt one of the worst driving cities in north america.

Tech in Bowl Games = Humiliation of the Triple Joke

December 29th, 2011
5:02 pm

I hope that Tech Swag is mugging proof, for walks around the campus. Probably has zippers in the back, for those famous Tech post game tickle piles.

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
5:02 pm

hey SSIgator….those shirts are flying off the shelves up here in Dalton….with the exception of maybe Columbus, there cannot be a more delusional base of ugatards than here in Whitfield County…i swear the kool-ade is premixed in the springs up here…they make me absolutely sick with their stupidity…go Michigan State…

SSIgator

December 29th, 2011
5:03 pm

Joey -

Did you get your bonus check from Richt for renewing your membership in the KoolAid Club in 2011? What a great guy. I hear he is not shy about paying people in cash either.

Joe Tess Fish House

December 29th, 2011
5:04 pm

If the Flacons dont beet the Bucks, then I am giving up and route 4 another team.

5 Time National Champs Nebraska

December 29th, 2011
5:05 pm

Nebraska will dominate

Tech in Bowl Games = Humiliation of the Triple Joke

December 29th, 2011
5:07 pm

SSIgaytard,

What a burn about our coach being generous. That really stings.

You may be a bigger douche than Muschamp.

5150 UOAD

December 29th, 2011
5:08 pm

Fish when did you Start Cheering FOR the Falcons? All I here is how much you Hate the Falcons.

5 Time National Champs Nebraska

December 29th, 2011
5:09 pm

Epic…….A Florida fan talking trash with UGA fans……Makes sense as you are both bottom of the pile.

SSIgator

December 29th, 2011
5:10 pm

evil empire -

You lucky guy. Whitfield County is where the manufacturing plant is for the UGA KoolAid. Richt used to have it shiped into Athens, but they built a direct-feed pipeline instead because the wear and tear on the trucks was simply too much to keep up with the demand.

Joe Tess Fish House

December 29th, 2011
5:11 pm

I dont hate them I hate all the dum thigs they do.

Waisted draft pix and stoopid free agent sighings. Not 2 metnion letting Vick get away.

evil empire

December 29th, 2011
5:13 pm

carpet and kool-ade…perfect products to be produced here, given the limited skills necessary in their manufacture…

Joe Tess Fish House

December 29th, 2011
5:13 pm

Hey 5 time. WHat do U no about collage football? Ever 1 no football is beter in the south now go a way!

Joey

December 29th, 2011
5:15 pm

SSIgator did you really read my post (4:51 pm)?

Buddy, I’m no drinker of KoolAid . . .