Stuffed Predictions: Dogs over Jackets; LSU and Bama roll
Hello and welcome to that special time of year, and I speak of course of when we overindulge on turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, potatoes au gratin, Mr. Potato, potato chips and onion dip, creamed corn, that string-bean-mushroom soup-Styrofoam-onion-ring thing that nobody really eats but the dog loves it when you mix it in his kibble, probably something with cheese, rolls (three kinds), margarine (light) and three to seven desserts, after which we fall face down in our plate of Cool Whip remnants and lapse into a tryptophan coma … until we wake up at 3:45 a.m. and scream, “NOOO! I OVERSLEPT! Play-doh goes on sale at Toy Zoo for 39 cents in 15 minutes! Where are my keys!?!” And then you take one step and suddenly there’s a strange jingling sound coming from your stomach.
If you're in this picture, you really need to get a life.
By the way, if you go to Walmart on Black Friday, just don’t tell Paul Johnson, or he might punch you. (Actually, after Johnson mocked a barking Georgia fan on his call-in show, saying, “He just got off from Walmart,” I had this vision of Johnson’s version of Hades: Handing out happy face stickers as a greeter .)
So here we are again: It’s Georgia (Tech) vs. Georgia (Tech). (You decide which school goes first. I’m Switzerland. Or Snellville.)
Georgia has the advantage of a better defense. But it has the disadvantage of every running back always seemingly injured, suspended or sufficiently numbed.
Georgia Tech has the advantage of a running game that Georgia hasn’t really stopped in three years. But it has suffered from the hiccups of youth and just allowed 31 points to Duke.
If Tech wins, Johnson may smile.
If Georgia wins, I figure the Richts get to at least second base.
Ever see that famous kiss scene in, “From Here to Eternity?” Get ready for Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr on the Georgia sideline.
Pucker up: Dogs win and cover 6.
Mark and Katharyn (or Burt and Deborah)
Hey! He got two!
Black Friday Blowouts!
(Guaranteed until 3:15 a.m.)
(Too late)
Wonder if Saban branded this on players' foreheads?
Arkansas at LSU: The Piggies think they can pull the upset, but I don’t see how getting waxed by Alabama 38-14 puts you in the same category as LSU (which beat Alabama). Rest easy, BCS. Tigers win but take Arkansas and 12½.
Alabama at Auburn: Bama blew a 24-0 lead to Auburn in Tuscaloosa last year and lost 28-27. Nick Saban probably still remembers the deli guy who accidentally put mayo on his turkey sandwich 37 years ago, you think he’s forgetting this? He even had a “Never Again” poster with images of the scoreboard and Cam Newton plastered on the locker room wall. Duck. Tide covers 21.
Clemson at South Carolina: Clemson has gone from BCS contender to getting dropped by Georgia Tech and N.C. State and beating Wake Forest by a field goal. For about seven minutes, they had everybody fooled. Gamecocks cover 4½.
Florida St. at Florida: Urban Meyer claims he hasn’t had coaching relations with Ohio State, at least not as he defines it, which should not to be confused with the truth. Just wondering: Given that gut-wrenching, emotional exit from Gainesville, will there be a “quality family time” clause in his new contract? Seminoles cover 2½.
It’s Urban Meyer as “Tommy Flanagan”
Laid An Egg Bowl: I’m not sure why Ole Miss subjected its fan base to extra weeks of Houston Nutt. Does masochism now qualify as a tax deduction? Miss State covers 17½.
Boston College at Miami: Miami president Donna Shalala didn’t consult with Al Golden before declaring the Hurricanes dead for bowl season, which is fine with Golden because he had planned to meet with realtors in State College that week, anyway. Canes work out their anger, cover 14.
NFL Fridge Pack
If Mike Mularkey is looking for a way to pass the time ...
Minnesota at Falcons: The Vikings got themselves back into the Andrew Luck sweepstakes by breaking Adrian Peterson’s ankle. At least, that’s the story I’m going with. Biggest question this week is whether Matt “No Huddle” Ryan let Mike Mularkey call any plays Sunday. Birds cover 9½.
Gainesville West at San Diego: Tebowmaniacs are mad at Denver exec John Elway because he refused to pledge his undying devotion to Tim Tebow. So I guess this means winning two Super Bowls and being recognized as one of the 10 best quarterbacks in NFL history doesn’t qualify somebody as an expert. Blasphemy! Chargers cover 6½.
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets: Rex Ryan’s stock has dropped so much, his wife just put her socks on. (Lost? Google.) Jets win but take Buffalo and 8.
Sorry, I just had to revisit this
Chicago at Oaktown: Jay Cutler is out with a broken thumb. Bears fans are irate. This makes two straight years he ducked out for something less kidney failure. For the love of Nagurski. Raiders cover 4½.
New England at Dream Team: The Eagles have won one in a row and LeSean McCoy thinks they can run the table and make the playoffs. Is there drug testing this week? Patriots cover 3.
•
Important “Sack Schultz” update: Congrats to Tony Vinelli (brother of Milli?), who won tickets to the Georgia-Georgia Tech game. He is 143-37 to this point. There are four contestants tied for first for the Hawaii trip and 27 folks within two of the lead going into the final week! I’m in 3,080th place. I think that means I have to drive the winner to the airport and feed their dog while they’re gone.
•
Toteboard
“No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner.” — Thomas Robert Dewar.
Last week (hot garbage): 9-2 straight up, 2-8-1 against the line.
Overall (still profitable): 99-39 straight up; 78-58-2 against the line.
By Jeff Schultz
Follow me on Twitter (@JeffSchultzAJC). Friend me on Facebook (Facebook.com/JeffSchultzAJC).
Tell us what you think about the site
Customer Care »
Vacation stops, manage subscriptions and more
AJC Services
Sections
Other Editions
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
331 comments Add your comment
Neutral
November 24th, 2011
12:58 pm
Looks like you are having fun with your make believe stats again!!! Funny these stats are new to the readers and only appear in your blogs!!! I guess GT football players just “dumb down” after they arrive on campus. Wow, last in the ACC in grad rates and according to you they are the smartest out of HS. I think I see the connection.
Observer
November 24th, 2011
1:01 pm
What’s the connection between Mark Shlltz and a liberal jerk?
IS
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
1:05 pm
Neutral…………no the players don’t dumb down. The School doesn’t dumb down for the players. Tech doesn’t have a bunch of EZ majors most smart high school sophomores could pass. Tech players graduate a little blow the normal Tech student. Tech is difficult and UGA hides the morons in easy classes to get them to graduate. You know if your child was taking the courses many college players take you would kick your child’s butt or not pay for College.
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
1:10 pm
Neutral……………my made up Stats your read it right here is the Link. You are the one making up stats and not doing any research. you are put repeating lies you have read on the blogs.
http://www.usnews.com/education/blogs/paper-trail/2008/12/30/athletes-show-huge-gaps-in-sat-scores
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
1:23 pm
Dooley still can’t help keep the Vols out of trouble
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Tennessee has suspended four players indefinitely for violating unspecified team rules.
Jimmy Stanton, associate athletic director for communications, confirmed Wednesday night that sophomore receiver Matt Milton, senior defensive back C.J. Fleming, sophomore defensive back Nick Branum and sophomore linebacker Robert Nelson had been suspended.
Tennessee (5-6, 1-6 Southeastern Conference) must beat Kentucky (4-7, 1-6) on Saturday to be eligible for a bowl.
Neutral
November 24th, 2011
1:32 pm
5150 TOAD……..yada, yada, yada!!!
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
1:35 pm
STAFFORD with the INT. on his own 17. Ouch!
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
1:37 pm
neutral……………nice come back with facts to dispute a USNews article. You really proved your smarts and the facts you posted.
Soon to be SEC East Champs
November 24th, 2011
1:42 pm
Shultz picks UGA…that means GT rolls. Should be a good game, but GT’s offense will be too much for UGA’s D. Go Jackets!!
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
1:44 pm
STAFFORD almost throws a pick 6. Damn that Dawg is just stealing money form the LIONS. He is not worth what they are paying him.
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
1:45 pm
Stafford is good but not 66 million good.
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
November 24th, 2011
1:51 pm
“My Commentary” Continued………………………
When it comes to the NFL South, there is a tradition of playing good tough football, well except for the recent version of the Falcants. Ever since the realignment of the NFL Divisions in 2001, it had been an ongoing tradition that when a team in the division finished in last place, they would win the division the following season.
Well that traditional came to a roaring halt when the Falcons spent their 3rd overall pick, and 72 million on a 5 year college player who failed to win the embarrassingly overrated A.C.C. In 2007 the Falcons finished in last place, then in 2008 they failed for the 1st time to follow up a cellar season with a division title. Drew Brees did it. Mike Vick did it. Tampa & Carolina did it, but the self proclaimed second coming of Peyton Manning failed to keep the tradition going. However, Drew Brees rekindled the tradition by leading the Saints to the division title.
This was really unacceptable because the Falcons spent so much money on free agency, in particular Michael Turner & Tony Gonzalez. In fact, at age 26 Mike Vick had already been to 3 pro bowls, and had playoff wins versus Green Bay (Brett Favre) & The Greatest Show on Turf.
CHOKE is now in his 4th season, and they are currently the 7th seed for the playoffs, which means they will not make it, and yet another failed season of winning a playoff game, and more than likely falling even further behind Sanchez & Flacco in post season success.
What will be even more interesting is to see what owner Art Blank does with the 2013 draft, which will be CHOKEs contract year. Will Blank extend him? I doubt it. The question is – will the Falcons take the best quarterback via free agency or will they draft another franchise quarterback.
If they choose the latter, then they should select a quarterback with NFL arm strength with the ability to read defenses.
More to follow…………………………
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
2:06 pm
The LIONS have a damn good Defense. Stafford has to make the plays. Lions are still well in this game but they have to stop with the penalties.
ARdawg
November 24th, 2011
2:22 pm
“Shultz picks UGA…that means GT rolls. Should be a good game, but GT’s offense will be too much for UGA’s D. Go Jackets!!”
Me thinks someone is living in De’nile and it isn’t a river in Egypt
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
2:31 pm
ARDawg your right it isn’t. It is a water fountain in the Butts Smear building
SUH kicked out of the game.
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
2:47 pm
Fatt Matt STIFFORD throws another pick and Green Bay now up buy 21.
Lions OVER paid for an OVERRATED UGa QB.
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
2:52 pm
Another pick thrown by STIFFORD.
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
2:59 pm
The way Green Bay is having players go out of this game might not have enough healthy players to make it to the playoffs.
TampaGator
November 24th, 2011
3:39 pm
Just finished stuffing myself and being thankful for family….etc…..and watching Stafford play…..and thinking to myself……maybe Tebow just knows how to win and make his teammates want to win…..and Stafford just has a powerful arm and no abilty to will his team to a win…..and maybe Elway is a jerk for saying what he said to the media. I hope Tebow plays QB for Denver for 10 years and Elway gets fired because of it. And I hope Stafford someday gets it….which he obviously does not at this time.
TampaGator
November 24th, 2011
3:39 pm
……and is Matt Stafford just another Jeff George…..but nicer.
red hill
November 24th, 2011
3:55 pm
Good one, Shultz. “Second Base”
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
4:03 pm
red hill if she was a UGa girl he could hit a home run right there in the locker room with a cheering section.
ARdawg
November 24th, 2011
4:09 pm
Ah geeze, and the Hatred of UGA continues. You nerds and lizards really need a substantial hobby besides hating an entire university because they beat you in football. Or as is the case with Poad, beats you year in, year out.
ARdawg
November 24th, 2011
4:18 pm
Whats worse is that it drives you so insane you hate a Pro QB because he played at UGA. Don’t you guys have anything to be thankful for today?
45ACP
November 24th, 2011
4:52 pm
Thankful that a friends daughter will not need additional surgery. Thankful for a full belly, a safe round trip to Doraville and back and thankful for a 9 game win streak. Thankful for the many blessing and good health.
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
5:09 pm
45ACP are you talking about CUZ and Baylie?
Do you have another friend whose child has been in the hospital too?
Have a nice afternoon 45ACP
GT Fan
November 24th, 2011
5:17 pm
Funny Shultz, your healine says LSU and Bama roll, then in your LSU pick says, “Tigers win but take Arkansas and 12 1/2″
Mr. Shultz, when a team “rolls” over another team, that means more than 12.5. Especially a team as good as LSU.
Remarkable
November 24th, 2011
5:25 pm
Jeff, you and I are tied for 3080th place. But I think I’ll break that tie this week.
Festus
November 24th, 2011
5:41 pm
CMR’s passionate smooches are meant as a demonstration to Penn State officials that he doesn’t have a problem in the area they’ve had a problem in. Next Head Coach at Penn State, Mark Miracle Man Richt. Next Head Coach at THUGGA: that defensive coach who looks like Chaz Bono. Pulling for the Piggies over LSU so Bobby Patrino gets another trip to the Georgia Dome where Arthur Blank will be waiting. Go Pigs.
Alphare
November 24th, 2011
5:58 pm
No way dawgies win this one.
Dawgies’ defense ranking is the same trick as BSU’s AP ranking. Who knows how much it is worth.
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
6:08 pm
CHOKE………………….the Dolphins LOG is getting his clocked cleaned today and has 3 penalties already in the game.
brick
November 24th, 2011
6:15 pm
GT Cline, while UGA schedule wasn’t as strong as it has been in recent years, we played who was on it and did what needed to be done to be a top 5 defense. But lets take a look at that schedule of GT, CU is 9-2 a nice win, but also shows how weak CU’s schedule has been, NC and NCST are 6-5, now here’s were it gets interesting, Western Carolina, 1-9, MTSU 2-8, Kansas 2-9 Maryland 2-9, Duke 3-8. So exactly how has Tech’s schedule been so strong? As for as GT playing the games they played against Clemson and VT, you lost the VT game, CU has been exposed as smoke and mirrors and much like Tech, will get pounded by the instate SEC rival this weekend.
You do realize that about 70% of Ga high schools were running your offense 10 years ago but most have gotten away from it because defenses learned to stop it don’t you? Expect to get deep into your depth chart of RBs this weekend because they not going to want much of whats coming their way Saturday. UGA by 20
Doug the Jacket
November 24th, 2011
6:28 pm
THWG
1eyedJack
November 24th, 2011
6:39 pm
Tevin Washington will have Jarvis Jones tattooed all over him. Better get your backup some practice reps.
oldbird
November 24th, 2011
6:41 pm
@ Matt ;CHOKE RYAN”
I like Michael Vick, but what exactly were the Falcons supposed to do during the two seasons that he was incarcerated for dog fighting?
reality
November 24th, 2011
6:44 pm
Let’s see, 1, 2, 3, and rarely 4 star guys going against 3, 4 and 5 star guys……and we wonder who will win? Come on, I’m a Tech fan, but this is a dumb series to continue. Tech really hasn’t a chance for it to be competitive. Oh it is?…when was the last time Tech won in a lopsided win? It doesn’t happen. UGA wins 9 out of 10 and if Tech wins, it barealy wins. This series should just end, as it is like watching a high school kid play against a middle school kid. No chance for Tech. Greed is the only reason this game continues…because it raises a lot of money for everyone but the players. Go David THWGoliath…I mean Go Tech THWGeorgia!
Finebalm
November 24th, 2011
7:00 pm
My uncle reminded that we beat Gtu 51-7 at the dinner table. LOL.
Neutral
November 24th, 2011
7:11 pm
Did anyone notice that 5150 TOAD had a multi paragraph answer in 6- 8 minutes to my comment earlier about GT? I think 5150 keeps this response readily available so he can use it every time GT loses a game. By the way TOAD, GT has several easy majors just like the rest of the colleges.
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
7:14 pm
Neutral can you give me all the easy majors Tech has.
I notice you didn’t try to prove your original fake statics post.
Tech May Wear 80's Black
November 24th, 2011
7:25 pm
I heard a rumor that Tech may pull out the old Black 80’s jeresey’s to wear for the GA game in honor of Larry Munson!
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
7:27 pm
I have Never seen TECH wear BLACK. Who was the coach and what Game was it used in?
Sandy
November 24th, 2011
7:28 pm
Tech will play legitimate student-athletes who will go on to successful careers in industrial management and engineering.
Georgia will play mostly bozos who would not have met the academic requirements to enter any college or university. The few who actually graduate will have worthless degrees and skills for which there is no demand. Most will be pathetic losers who are a burden on society. Fortunately the CEOs of Walmart and Waffle House are Tech alumni who will give some of them jobs, but even a graveyard shift fry cook has to have some skills and the ability to stay sober.
Yes, Tech fans would love to defeat Georgia more often, but not at the win-at-all-costs price that Georgia pays.
Next time you see a homeless drunk, be kind to him, he may be a former UGA player.
Neutral
November 24th, 2011
7:31 pm
Too many to list. Hey, I noticed you didn’t address my point regarding your canned answer to any challenge regarding GT academics. Hmmmmm…….according to you GT is number uno in SAT scores………oh yea, and last in graduation rate!!!! Of course you said GT only has tough majors….kinda like VT, NC, etc don’t!?!?!?
Bill E. Goat
November 24th, 2011
7:35 pm
Please Don’t Feed The Troll
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
7:38 pm
Neutral I didn’t SAY anything. I posted an article that was researched and written by a reporter from U.S.News. I answered Why the SATs are high and the graduation rate was low. I also answered that the regular Tech students don’t graduate at a much greater rate than athletes either. You really need to go back and read it again. You look stupid. What are all those EASY majors TECH has. Are you going to answer that?
Gunsmoke
November 24th, 2011
7:41 pm
Why are Alabama and LSU even playing…can’t we just go ahead and declare them “the BEST teams of the year.” They could just play rematches every week leading up to the BCS game…why are other teams even bothering to play?
DILLIGAF
November 24th, 2011
7:47 pm
Thanks Sandy for your your worthless diatribe extolling the value of the vaulted GT diploma versus the worthless sheepskin that determines the future of the Bulldog food service servants.
Next time you are harassed by the door attendant at Costco over your receipt, be kind to her, it may be Sandy’s mother.
5150 UOAD
November 24th, 2011
7:49 pm
Gunsmoke……..that is a great idea. To make it better just let all the SEC teams drop the College part. They can just play Football with out the need for the NCAA forcing those boys to WASTE all that time with the book learn’n.
doo doo ley
November 24th, 2011
8:00 pm
I worked with a GA Dog fan which was unusual since I do not live or work anywhere near the state of GA. The guy could not spell CAT if you spotted him the C and the A. His emails were atrocious. At first, I thought he must be just a UGA fan but found out he did indeed graduate in 2001. He said he was born and raised in Statesboro, GA. Geez, what does that say for that area or GA Southern.
NYJacket
November 24th, 2011
8:11 pm
I love being the underdog!!! It makes winning the game so much more sweeter.