Weekend Predictions: Number align for Dogs, Falcons

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Hello, and welcome back to another adventure of, “Yeah, I knew that would happen.”

Before getting to this week’s episode, “My Three Ideas To Fix Government: Um, uh … oops,” by Rick Perry, I have great financial news.

This is Weekend Predictions No. 11 for the season. And Friday’s date is 11/11/11. Ooh. Scary.

According to Chinese feng shui — OK, according to a story I saw about a chain letter going around that referenced the date being Chinese feng shui-friendly — calendar dates with repeating “1’s” in it are called “moneybags.” Word is that you need only refer this news to eight friends, assuming none work in State College, to assure yourself of riches, so sayeth, the proverb.

In gambling, this is what we like to refer to as, “A system.” Also bankruptcy.

We need to start Rick Perry with something slow, like the Three Stooges.

Rick Perry should start with something easy: The Three Stooges.

My last system blew up. When Georgia started the season 0-2, I applied the, “They’re Toast” system and it didn’t work.  Two months later, the Bulldogs are going into a weekend with a chance to clinch the SEC East, just like absolutely nobody thought, and I’m talking to you, Mr. Bulldog Boxer Shorts who wakes up next to an empty PBR can and now claims he knew it all along. This kind of mutant evolution is why I’m thoroughly convinced that Perry is on his way to the White House despite telling the world in a Republican debate this week that he wants to eliminate three agencies of the U.S. government: “Commerce. Education. And um … um … uh.”

It’s Moe. People always forget Moe.

So back to things that don’t make sense: If South Carolina loses to Florida, the Dogs can clinch the East with a win over Auburn. And then they’ll face Arkansas in the SEC title game. Because the Piggies will upset LSU in three weeks. I’m convinced is  feng shui destiny and it actually would be cool because it would be Coach Pigface’s first game back in the Georgia Dome since he sacrificed a goat, blew out of town and I think stole six folding chairs.

I know. Makes no sense. So what are we doing here?

Las Vegas has so bought into the Dogs that bookie dudes have made them 13-point favorites. Whoa. Too much feng shui gives me gas.

My moneybags are going the other way. Dogs win but won’t cover 13.

Rick Perry Breaks Down The BCS

*** Thursday Internet Only Special  ***

VaTech at GaTech: The Hokies were bodyslammed at home by Clemson, 23-3. Clemson is the team Georgia Tech just beat. The Jackets also are 2-0 against ranked teams this season, 6-0 at home against top-25 teams under Johnson, 5-0 at home this season, 3-0 in night games this season and, most amazing of all, undefeated in school history when time expires and they have more points than the other team. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention. This is the week I read the press notes. Take the 1 but Jackets win straight up.

Update: one loss down. The Jackets lost Thursday night 37-26. But at least now we know where my only loss this weekend is.

Just Football (Please)

Florida at South Carolina: Hey, not saying this game means a lot to Will Muschamp or anything. But he recalled sitting outside of Steve Spurrier’s office when he wanted to walk-on as a player at Florida and Spurrier never showed up. Muschamp: “He was 2-under at the turn, so I guess we didn’t get a chance to see him.” Little joke. Gamecocks win but take the Gators and 3½.

Dan Mullen's stock price since last year.

Dan Mullen's stock price since last year.

Alabama at Road Kill: Mississippi State’s wins this season: Memphis, Louisiana Tech (in overtime), UAB, Kentucky, Tennessee Martin. The losses: Everybody who matters. At least Dan Mullen gets to face Nick Saban in a good mood this week. Or not. Tide covers 17½ — by halftime.

Road Kill II at LSU: Somebody just asked Les Miles who his predecessor was. He couldn’t remember. Tigers cover 41½.

Louisiana Tech at Mississippi: Karma has a mean left hook. Ole Miss fired coach Houston Nutt and athletic director Pete Boone, who had fired David Cutcliffe. He later hired Nutt because, I dunno, Nutt had some great real estate tip on a landfill and a cool ‘72 Impala. If  I’m Cutcliffe, I’m crank-calling these bozos 24/7. LaTech covers 2.

Houston Nutt, starring in “Breaking Away”

Miami School of Bidness at FSU: First, Canes safety Ray-Ray Armstrong was suspended four games for mixing with Nevin Shapiro. Now he’s suspended again after Tweeting about dinner with a woman who owns a PR agency (NCAA’s sometimes-loose translation: agent runner). I’m assuming this kid’s halfway to his MBA by now. Seminoles cover 9.

Tennessee at Arkansas: Derek Dooley is 3-10 in SEC games. I realize he inherited a mess, but even the Lane Kiffin virus wears off at some point. I think. Piggies cover 14.

Winners, Losers, Dream Teams

Drew Brees vs. Rams did not quite go as scripted.

Drew Brees vs. Rams did not quite go as scripted.

New Orleans at Falcons: Not sure anybody has noticed but the Falcons’ defense has allowed only three touchdowns in the last 12 quarters. I just wish I could find Ray Edwards. The Saints are fairly psychotic. Lose to the Rams? Really? That’s enough for me. Birds win a pick ‘em.

Arizona at Dream Team: From Michael Vick on the 3-5 Eagles: “When certain things happen in a game, we kind of go into a panic.” No problem. Philly fans are forgiving. I think Sunday is small assault weapons day. Eagles win but take Arizona and 14.

Houston at Tampa Bay: The Bucs were the only team to put in a waiver claim for Albert Haynesworth. You know it’s bad when even the Dolphins are saying, “Wow, glad we’re not as dumb as those guys.” Houston covers 3.

Detroit at Chicago: Players polled by The Sporting News just voted Ndamukong Suh the NFL’s dirtiest player. He had four times as many votes as James Harrison, who came into the season with 27 felonies. Bears cover 2½.

No worries about Suh. Bullies always get theirs in the end

Toteboard

footballbetting

Last week: 7-3 straight up, 8-2 against the line.

Overall (Don’t lack to brag, but…): 81-34 straight up; 71-43-1 against the line.

“Sack Schultz” update: Michael Perciful of Atlanta was last week’s cheater/winner by going 14-1.

By Jeff Schultz

Follow me on Twitter (@JeffSchultzAJC). Friend me on Facebook (Facebook.com/JeffSchultzAJC).

294 comments Add your comment

tulsabravo

November 10th, 2011
4:51 pm

Got to do better than that.

MatthewH

November 10th, 2011
4:52 pm

Let me the first to say that while the PSU scandal is sickening, I am so glad to see a new blog and the Countdown!!

Fierce Dawg

November 10th, 2011
4:56 pm

First! REFUND????

david

November 10th, 2011
5:01 pm

I like em all excpet La tech and Eagles. I think Miis and Philly roll. Arizona is the worst road team in the history of the NFL and I live in Phoenix. GO DAWGS!!

GTT

November 10th, 2011
5:02 pm

chuck

November 10th, 2011
5:04 pm

Mr. Schultz, I had rather have Rick Perry as president than anybody be the name of Barak Obama.

DirtyBirdATLien

November 10th, 2011
5:08 pm

RIGHT ON Schultz!

Richt`s Hammer

November 10th, 2011
5:11 pm

Lord we are going to be destroyed. Choakdawg ate 300 krispy kreme`s today and Crowell is smoking something strange.

MY Purse is missing.

G.Wally

November 10th, 2011
5:13 pm

And just think of all the knuckleheads who were screaming to fire Richt and hire Mullen. The grass ain’t always greener.

War Dang Dawg

November 10th, 2011
5:13 pm

Dawgs, just win by a skinny point. Then the Tech fans can come on here and say that we still haven’t beaten anybody. But we’ll be a virtual lock for the SECCG, so who cares?

WaSean Limbaugh

November 10th, 2011
5:14 pm

I said after teh SC game that the Dawgs would not lose another game this year. All my friends called me crazy!!

WaSean Limbaugh

November 10th, 2011
5:14 pm

Now I may be crazy but it’s not because of that

Steve

November 10th, 2011
5:16 pm

Great picks Jeff. As a UGA fan, I do agree that UGA won’t cover but will win by about 10. However VA Tech wins tonight. Easy money. When was the last time GA Tech won two BIG games back to back?

Ted M

November 10th, 2011
5:16 pm

Jeff – How were you better against the line then straight up?

Jamaaliver

November 10th, 2011
5:17 pm

Jeff is funny.

True

November 10th, 2011
5:17 pm

Enter your comments here

Potter

November 10th, 2011
5:21 pm

Maggots lose to Turkeys by 13 tonight.

THWGT

True Falcon Fan

November 10th, 2011
5:21 pm

All yo MV#7 conVICK -ed lovers, how you like your boy now??????????

I’ll take my man MR#2 Matty IceMAN&&&&&WIN,WIN,WIN,WIN……………….

Go Falcons,Go Falcons,Go Falcons………………..

Auburn Pride

November 10th, 2011
5:23 pm

13 point favorite is huge in this game.

I like the dogs defense – but the offense is way overrated – and special teams are NOT special.

Too many upsets between these 2 “friendly” hated rivals.

And the upset trend continues – Auburn wins this game and clinches the SEC EAST by beating South Carolina, Florida and Georgia in the same year.

How’s that for a rebuilding year!

Problem is – beating the dogs Saturday means we are king of the mediocre SEC teams!

Safe travels to all! and WAR DAMN EAGLE!

WaSean Limbaugh

November 10th, 2011
5:24 pm

Ummm vick is still all right with me
Liking the falcons does not preclude anyone from
liking vick

Auburn Pride

November 10th, 2011
5:25 pm

Jackets win – Falcons will get beat.
WDE!!!!!

WaSean Limbaugh

November 10th, 2011
5:25 pm

if you are a fan you don’t stop liking someone who struggles

Steve

November 10th, 2011
5:26 pm

Over/Under for Houston vs. Tulane tonight is 77. My gosh. Gotta love that defense!

Steve

November 10th, 2011
5:27 pm

Auburn Pride = Moron.

Jeff Schultz

November 10th, 2011
5:30 pm

Ted M — Easy. Last week I said to pick the Steelers (who lost) but take the Ravens and 3 (Ravens won). Hence: Lost it straight up by won it with line.

Jeff Schultz

November 10th, 2011
5:30 pm

Jamaaliver: “Jeff is funny.” << No I’m not. You’re just drunk. (Kidding. Thanks.)

Jeff Schultz

November 10th, 2011
5:32 pm

Sorry I didn’t get this up earlier. Realize I left Georgia and Tech fans only a few hours to abuse each other before tonight’s game.

It's not rocket science

November 10th, 2011
5:33 pm

Excuse me Jeff, But I believed we had a very good chance of winning the East after the first two games. The luck of the schedule this year made that clear when the schedules were announced a long time ago.
A couple years back we had what amounted to the toughest schedule in the nation…..This year it was easier. No apologies when it happens with EVERY school at some point.
It will happen to another SEC school next year, and the year after that it will be some other school.

Dawgman

November 10th, 2011
5:35 pm

Track em dawgs just like beagles…go to hell you war damn eagles!…..31-17 Dawgs win!

Auburn

November 10th, 2011
5:35 pm

Ga Offense gives up a pick six plus extra point = 07
Ga defense gives up TD plus 2 field goals = 13
Ga Special Teams gives up blocked punt FG = 03
Ga Special Teams gives up return for TD = 07

Auburn 30-Ga 27

Bill Stanfill

November 10th, 2011
5:36 pm

Okay Dawg fans, let’s pool some $$$ and fly Nick Fairley in for the game. For bait, we can tell him we’ve kidnapped a QB (actually a dressed up mannequin)and Fairley gets to roll on his knee over and over out in the parking lot before the game.

Fairley shows up between the hedges–AND DAWGS WIN BY A 100 POINTS!!!

RIffRaff

November 10th, 2011
5:36 pm

Jeff’s on the money this week!!!! I can’t believe I just agreed with him…….

Steve

November 10th, 2011
5:37 pm

“Pigface,” hilarious! Jeff, do you really think Arkansas will beat LSU to play UGA in the SEC Championship?

Auburn

November 10th, 2011
5:38 pm

Dawgman

November 10th, 2011
5:35 pm

…go to hell you war damn eagles!…..

Unfortunately we are… we have to travel to Athens this weekend to bring the dogs back to reality.

pj

November 10th, 2011
5:38 pm

my god, your picks record is ridiculous. Enjoy it now buddy – and send me an e-mail and i’ll bet a thou with your picks since youre riding this streak. Jeff – if you’re good at something – even for just a year – you should make money off of it – and i want in.

1 point favorite

November 10th, 2011
5:41 pm

Jeff, picking an underdog with a 1 point spread means that underdog better win outright or best scenario is a push.

Steve

November 10th, 2011
5:48 pm

Auburn vs. UGA = Who has won 4 of the last 5 meetings? Auburn won last year by cheating to get their QB.

2010 BCS CHAMPS

November 10th, 2011
5:49 pm

War Damn Eagle!!!!!!!!

Part of me wants UGA to win so Richt can keep his job for another 10 years. Besides, Auburn is reloading and will be better next year and year after that.

Good luck, mutt fans!

2010 BCS CHAMPS

November 10th, 2011
5:50 pm

“Auburn won last year by cheating to get their QB.”

I love stupid people like Steve.

Auburn

November 10th, 2011
5:51 pm

walsh misses 42 yard field goal as time expires for Auburn victory and the game is being played this Saturday, so what has happened in the past is past, unless of course you want to talk about Auburn’s record between the hedges 17-10.

Beast from the East

November 10th, 2011
5:51 pm

Dawgs in a close one.
Tech in a close one.
Gators in a close one (man, I hope).
Upset special….The U over the Semis…..wide right!

Boise Dawg

November 10th, 2011
5:54 pm

Not sure why you thought Georgia starting 0-2 but still having a shot to win the SEC east was so far fetched. I read a lot of natinal sports writers around the country were predicting it could happened based on how the rest of their scheduled looked… it isn’t really that shocking.

Auburn

November 10th, 2011
5:55 pm

@Beast from the east;

2, 3 and 4 are fine but not #1 prediction. Realize it is Ok for you to pull for the east team through as your team is in the east

Auburn

November 10th, 2011
5:56 pm

should be though (before the grammar police get here)

pj

November 10th, 2011
5:56 pm

my attempted comment was not registered -so i’ll repost – JEFF – I wanna get in on whatever youve been smoking this season because your predictions are off the chain!

Steve

November 10th, 2011
5:56 pm

2010 BCS Champs UGA will be ever better next year as well. Preseason Top 10 for sure. You losers don’t even have a QB!

Boise Dawg

November 10th, 2011
5:56 pm

Thanks for the Breaking Away clip… classic movie, but didn’t Nutt replace Ed Orgeron?

Steve

November 10th, 2011
5:57 pm

Anyone want to guess on the over/under on how many robberies/muggings will take place near North Avenue between 6PM – Midnight tonight?

True Falcon Fan

November 10th, 2011
5:59 pm

Only in the NFL – Ask H/R at your company you currently work place “what’s there policy on employing convicted felons”? The point is why is the NFL being one of the largest privately held corporations that allow convicted felons to work? Or better yet whether you like MV# 7 or not he is a Con-Vick -ed felon! My opinion is if you have a GOD given ability to play in the NFL, then you need to understand it is a privilege!

Hey when MV# 7 was a so called running the straight an narrow stand-up citizen, as in legit i mean – I liked him, then. Now that he did the crime and he did his time. But he should lose his privilege to play football in the NFL. However yo know it’s funny how sometimes the way GOD works, jus maybe that’s partly the reason the eaglettes are 3-5 and MV # 7 is learning quickly, “hello dream team” – where are you guys? ALL you MV # 7 dream team lovers be gone with cha……….

Go Falcons

Auburn

November 10th, 2011
6:00 pm

Steve, that is about as fair as people calling Athens the cesspool of the south