Weekend Predictions: Deja vu time (Gators over Dogs)
Before we get to the SEC East, the Republican primary of college divisions where everybody looks like a 4-4 team with two soundbites, a new tax plan and reservations for the Liberty Bowl, this just in: We’ve officially gone to hell.
With the holiday shopping season just around the corner, Mattel is preparing to launch, “Tokidoki” Tattoo Barbie in the U.S. I am not making this up. She has pink hair, is covered with tattoos around her neck and arms and has another just above her Barbie Buttocks (copyright?) that reads, “Ken” (in a heart).
![tattooedbarbie[1]](http://blogs.ajc.com/jeff-schultz-blog/files/2011/10/tattooedbarbie11.jpg "tattooedbarbie[1]")
Mattel has come under criticism but says the doll is targeted at adult collectors, not children, which is why we can also soon expect Wowsa Mondo Implant Barbie, Underground Kim Kardashian Video Barbie (with rapper), Strung Out Lindsay Leg Chains Lohan Barbie, and, a sidekick: the Ha Ha How Does It Feel To Have That Tie Rod Jammed Into Your Forehead Ndamukong Suh Psychotic Ken doll (candy Thorazine in grape and cherry flavors included).
See? You just can’t count on anything any more.
Oh wait. It’s Georgia-Florida week. Never mind.
I know. This is the year, right? Aaron Murray is better
![tattoo_barbie[1]](http://blogs.ajc.com/jeff-schultz-blog/files/2011/10/tattoo_barbie12.jpg "tattoo_barbie[1]")
That "Indonesia" branding had to really hurt.
The Georgia defense is better than Florida’s.
Chris Rainey? He hasn’t been a threat since Gainesville police revoked his texting privileges. (”Time To Die…Hello? Hello?”)
Will Muschamp? Look at those eyes. We never trusted him!
And the Dogs have won five in a row!
Whatever.
Let’s look at this. The teams have one common opponent so far: Tennessee. They both won. Whoop.
Florida got boat-raced by Alabama and LSU. Like Georgia wouldn’t?
Georgia’s four SEC wins have come over teams with a combined conference record of 1-15. Murray has been average. The defense has been better but will be missing two starters (Kwame Geathers, Shawn Williams) for suspensions in the first half, and can’t really be sure what they’ll get from two other starters just back (Cornelius Washington, suspension; Alec Ogletree, broken foot). Also, Malcolm Mitchell likely won’t play.
Florida’s average. Maybe below average. But this is close enough to a push. Sorry, but a push ain’t pushing me over to the anemic side of 3-18.
Florida is getting 3. I’ll take the points. And the upset. Gators win.
Saturday Value Menu
(Add fries and a used car from Houston Nutt for 99 cents)
Paul Johnson is not taking losing well.
Clemson at Tech: The Jackets have three offensive touchdowns in the last nine quarters. I think it’s clear Al Groh needs to fire Paul Johnson and hire a new offensive coordinator. Tevin Washington’s confidence looks shot and sources say Johnson is miserable, which explains the stockades on the sideline at practice. Clemson covers 3½.
South Carolina at Tennessee: Your Poultry update: Marcus Lattimore is done, Stephen Garcia is plotting his next career move at Barbizon, and Alshon Jeffery seems as relevant as Gummo Marx without his brothers. But it’s Tennessee. The Vowels have been outscored 95-25 in their last three games, and Derek Dooley wonders, “Why did I give up law again?” Gamecocks cover 4.
Mississippi at Auburn: I just learned Houston Nutt has a $6 million buyout. Do they not offer classes in high finance in the land of Faulkner? Nutt’s SEC losing streak runs to 11, and Auburn covers 11.
Arkansas at Vanderbilt: The Commodores were painted as dirty against Georgia and last week had to apologize for blasting music over the loud speaker and drowning out the Army alma mater. So now they’re un-American. The Vandy bad boys. If this keeps up and they may be allowed back in the SEC. Hey, can anybody cut-block Bobby Petrino? Arkansas wins but give me Vandy and 10.
Georgia State at Texas-San Antonio: It turns out the Longhorn Network does exist. It’s carrying this game. I believe GSU-UTSA comes on right after, “In The Kitchen With Fred Akers” and “Texas A.D. DeLoss Dodds At The Yalta Conference: Revisionists History, Brought To You By ESPN.” No line. Panthers make it two straight.
NFL Snack Pack
Lions' defense warms up for this week's game. That's Suh on the left.
Paper Lions at Broncos: It’s Matthew Stafford vs. Tim Tebow. That’s timely. (Advice to Lions: If you score, don’t empty the bench and celebrate in the end zone. Leaves a hangover.) Stafford is banged up and struggling to hold together an imploding team with defense of cretins. Was that Suh robbing a blood bank this week? Take the 3 but Denver wins in an upset.
Cowboys at Dream Team: Philadelphia’s Asante Samuel ripped management, saying they’re “playing fantasy football.” Hah! Nobody in my league would’ve been dumb enough to sign Ronnie Brown. Take Dallas and 3½, and in an upset.
Patriots at Steelers: Tom Brady vs. Pittsburgh: 6-1, 14 touchdowns, three interceptions. Check? New England covers 3.
Dolphins at Giants: Miami’s quarterback depth chart: Matt Moore, J.P. Losman. My eyes! My eyes! Giants cover 10.
•
Toteboard
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” — Kin Hubbard
Last week (slightly cloudy): 11-1 straight up, 8-4 against the line.
Overall (Real. And spectacular): 70-25 straight up; 61-33-1 against the line.
“Sack Schultz” contest: Last week’s winners: Local–Mitchell Hunter (13-2) of Sharpsburg, GA. National–Olivia Trebino (14-1) of Pomona, Ca. I’m slipping. Badly. Not entered? Click here for details.
By Jeff Schultz
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544 comments Add your comment
King Gator
October 28th, 2011
11:07 am
^^Business in the front and party in the rear, kind of like your common law wife ^^
Preston
October 28th, 2011
11:07 am
As much as I’d like to see my Dawgs beat the crap out of the hated gayters, I’ll be happy to see a 1 point win. They have played a tough schedule this year and UGA has played a mickey mouse sched since SC. They better come ready to play for 60 minutes or they’ll be going back to GA with their tails between their legs.
MACRTWLASGTPBFWDAFAW
October 28th, 2011
11:08 am
Mothers Against Chris Rainey Threatening Women’s Lives And Still Getting To Play Because Florida Will Do Anything For A Win says go Dawgs
B'dawg
October 28th, 2011
11:10 am
mullets, girls with tatoos smoking two cigs at once, and holding two kids. Floridas finest on display.
King Gator's Gay Lover
October 28th, 2011
11:11 am
I thought that was our special joke about you.
Someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight.
Rodster
October 28th, 2011
11:11 am
Ha! Nice Tramp Stamp for Barbie. Another sign The Apocalypse is upon us. Another sure sign will be if UGA beats Florida.
Alias444
October 28th, 2011
11:12 am
Going by last week’s scores, PJ should call in sick. Going to be a long day. Dogs- Gaters, Gators – Dawgs – whatever. Toss up for who gets to stay home in December.
Ray Goof's Hat
October 28th, 2011
11:16 am
Not at all, AR. I’ve lived my entire life in Fla, and you can undoubtedly find the people you’ve described in my home state. The unintentional humor in your comment is that such folk constitute a majority of the population in Georgia. It’s a pot calling the kettle black situation. The fact that you don’t get that is very amusing.
True Dawg Fan
October 28th, 2011
11:19 am
Ray Goof’s Hat
October 28th, 2011
11:16 am
Not at all, AR. I’ve lived my entire life in Fla, and you can undoubtedly find the people you’ve described in my home state. The unintentional humor in your comment is that such folk constitute a majority of the population in Georgia. It’s a pot calling the kettle black situation. The fact that you don’t get that is very amusing.
Actually we do get that. Unfortunately for you, it is way more prevelant in Florida than in Georgia. The fact that u dont get that is why we mock morons like you.
Ray Goof's Hat
October 28th, 2011
11:22 am
Sorry, True Dog Fan. Many things are more prevalent in Florida than Georgia, but inbreeding is not one of them. You mock what you do not understand.
True Dawg Fan
October 28th, 2011
11:28 am
Ray Goof’s Hat
October 28th, 2011
11:22 am
Sorry, True Dog Fan. Many things are more prevalent in Florida than Georgia, but inbreeding is not one of them. You mock what you do not understand.
ahahahaha wrong again thats Alabama, 0-2, next one is a strike out. Any other states stereotypes you would like to claim are georgias???
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
11:35 am
Ray Goof
You apparently the type that would argue about being hung with a new rope. Lighten up Francis, just some harmless smack talk. Take a pill or whatever it is the stuffed shirts of Florida do
Ray Goof's Hat
October 28th, 2011
11:39 am
AR, it may have come across the wrong way, but I was just having fun. Trust me, I’m no stuffed shirt. I don’t often admit this, but I have family in Georgia, including a relative who currently attends UGA. It’s a fine school.
True Dawg Fan
October 28th, 2011
11:46 am
Then say that, most smack talk is all in fun. Especially if your a house divided
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
11:50 am
Ray Goof
All well and good. Feel free to smack talk back. I find it a fun and entertaining activity around gameday as long as it doesn’t get personal. Generalities, humor, our team vs your team, Your people vs our people is all open territory. I grew up close to the Florida line, know many Gator fans and grads (related to several) and all fine people. I don’t mind tailgating with a few of you most years. Stereo-types are prime targets this time of year
Ray Goof's Hat
October 28th, 2011
11:57 am
AR and True Dawg, it’s sometimes hard to get across that something is tongue-in-cheek when you post it. But my humor was good natured. I usually just ignore people who want to take it too far. I always distinguish our rivalry with y’all from our FSU rivalry because of our SEC connection. I know that not all Gators and Dawgs agree with me on this, but I always pull for UGA in non-conference games. I never want FSU to win. But ours is more of a “sibling rivalry” to my mind.
Apalachicola
October 28th, 2011
11:57 am
Just keep sucking down those Apalachicola Bay snot-rocks and Natty Light and it won’t really matter who wins. All I ask is that you don’t give my old lady any Jose Cuervo – it always makes her jorts fall off.
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
12:08 pm
Ray Goof
We’ve got a lot of history. So much so that we can’t even agree on it. I know what you mean as we have the same situation with the Nerds. Most Dawg and Gator fans I find to be fine people and all for the fun aspect. It’s the 20% on both sides that make us all look bad.
Apallachicola
Ah gee man, I am sooo sorry. Was that your old lady?? She was hotter thatn a 2 dollar pistol though
Apalachicola
October 28th, 2011
12:10 pm
That’s the only reason I keep her around my brother. That, and she’s a passable snot-rock shucker.
GrantparkGator
October 28th, 2011
12:17 pm
A Pups Prayer:
I bow too tee,almighty Gator,ruler of Jacksonville and the Eastern division,
When my team is “better”, I will lay down for thee,
When victory is within reach, I will drop passes, miss field goals,and incur penalties,
for I am a lowly Dawg, powerless in your presence, and gutless on your field of battle.
Gatormeat
October 28th, 2011
12:24 pm
Well, this is my last few moments to post before I head up to Jacksonville. You dumb dog fans are stupid to think you have a chance, the Mighty Gators are going to wipe the field with you. No wonder we make so much fun of georgias stupid fans at the stadium every year. I’ll be back Sunday to mock you foolish people, I can’t wait to hear the crying and excuses you give every year after the game.
Ray Goof's Hat
October 28th, 2011
12:33 pm
For what it’s worth, the Gator beat reporter for the Gainesville Sun went in the opposite direction, picking the Dogs 31-17.
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
12:40 pm
Heh heh, you fellers be sure and stagger back here after your lessons in Georgia football
True Dawg Fan
October 28th, 2011
12:40 pm
Gatormeat
October 28th, 2011
12:24 pm
Well, this is my last few moments to post before I head up to Jacksonville. You dumb dog fans are stupid to think you have a chance, the Mighty Gators are going to wipe the field with you. No wonder we make so much fun of georgias stupid fans at the stadium every year. I’ll be back Sunday to mock you foolish people, I can’t wait to hear the crying and excuses you give every year after the game.
hahahaha be sure to pack an extra pair of jorts. Might as well bring an extra wife beater too to use ase your tissue after the game. O and dont forget a nice comb for your mullet.You act as if we haven ever won. Fact is we still own overall.
This is the weakest Florida team in years, you dont reallly have a prayer in this game.
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
12:42 pm
Ray Goof
Thats a bit surprising. I, kind’a sorta expect a 10+ point margin. I wonder if there’ll be that many points scored though
aw
October 28th, 2011
12:45 pm
Why is UGA/FL considered a Rivalry? I guess Ole Miss/Alabama is a Rivalry then. Go figure.
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
12:48 pm
aw
You mean in terms of like UGA/GT isn’t a rivalry?
GrantparkGator
October 28th, 2011
12:54 pm
Can’t wait until Murray hand gifts this game again this year! GatorBait
Ray Goof's Hat
October 28th, 2011
1:00 pm
AR, he really doubts that Brantley will be able to play. He pointed out earlier this week that Muschamp doesn’t like to give out info on the status of injured players, but he was very talkative about Brantley’s health and his ability to play. I think one or both of our young QBs will be very good in the future, but right now they are bewildered 18 year olds. If Brantley is out, then we’re in deep trouble – that’s why I think he went with that score.
Beast from the East
October 28th, 2011
1:06 pm
True Dawg Fan,
Yes, UGA stills owns the overall. How many times have YOU witnessed UGA beat UF? Unless you were born before WWII, then you’ve seen UF win more. Not much to crow about is it?
True Dawg Fan
October 28th, 2011
1:23 pm
Beast from the East
October 28th, 2011
1:06 pm
True Dawg Fan,
Yes, UGA stills owns the overall. How many times have YOU witnessed UGA beat UF? Unless you were born before WWII, then you’ve seen UF win more. Not much to crow about is it?
Who cares we still own overall
rabundog
October 28th, 2011
1:34 pm
Dawgs find a new way to lose
Evansdawg
October 28th, 2011
1:39 pm
I hope the coaches give a copy of this to the team…to pi$$ them off.
Mike Bobo 17 INT
October 28th, 2011
1:53 pm
Jeff, tend to agree with you on the Florida win, UGA will be out-coached by their own boy. Gators over Dogs by 15.
True Dawg Fan
October 28th, 2011
1:55 pm
Mike Bobo 17 INT
October 28th, 2011
1:53 pm
Jeff, tend to agree with you on the Florida win, UGA will be out-coached by their own boy. Gators over Dogs by 15.
Out- coached????? hhahahahahahha
Muschump wont know what hit him on saturday. He will be in a tail spin trying to find a way to bail out
GrantparkGator
October 28th, 2011
1:59 pm
Rumor making it’s rounds about IC failing a drug test….Pup fans?
Apalachicola
October 28th, 2011
1:59 pm
Keep her off the Tequila, and my old lady could out-coach that bunch in Athens.
Bill Stanfill
October 28th, 2011
2:02 pm
SAY IT AIN’T SO, SCHULTZIE, SAY IT AIN’T SO.
The Dawgs are gonna lose to Florda AGAIN!?!
I don’t know if I can bear that again this year. If they do lose again, I might have to have one of those royal South Georgia breakdown–polish off a quart of Wild Turkey after the game, drive my new Lincoln right on into the pond, then not get out of bed for about 3 days. . . .
Shoot, if they’re gonna lose again this year, I’m not gonna even go to Jacksonville! Anybody wanna buy some 40-yard-line tickets?
True Dawg Fan
October 28th, 2011
2:05 pm
GrantparkGator
October 28th, 2011
1:59 pm
Rumor making it’s rounds about IC failing a drug test….Pup fans?
Wont mean anything for our game! hahahahahahhaha
We got a patsie next week. Murray will also likely be suspended for being an idiot and posing for a picture with a beer can. (he’s only 20)
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
2:13 pm
Ray Goof
Makes sense. I stated earlier on the blog this week I thought Muschamp was pulling a fast one and I don’t think Brantley is playing. If he does it will be very limited. Honestly, I don’t think Brantley is the QB he’s given kudos for. Your Gators are in very poor shape at QB with Brantley at full speed. Nothing against the kid but there was a lot of hype about him while he was behind Tebow in a mop up role. IMHO, he just didn’t materialize
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
2:16 pm
Mike Bobo
Care to make a prediction on GT and Clemson this week? I didn’t think so
phil
October 28th, 2011
2:22 pm
tonyb
October 27th, 2011
3:44 pm
The Georgia fans who are picking the Dawgs are saying close game. Nope, this thing has Georgia blowing out the Gators written all over it. UGA has the better team. Florida is operating under new schemes while UGA has a coaching staff in place for many seasons. UGA is the hot team, they are getting better every week, and Jeff, its all about defense. And UGA is playing some outstanding defense. The transformation under Grantham has been amazing. And lets be honest, GA is the hungry team. I get a sense they have had it with the beat downs in Jacksonville, and they will come out with fire in their eyes. I don’t care how many points Las Vegas gives us, the Dawgs destroy the Gators this year and march to Atlanta as the SEC east champs.
*****************
Are you on drugs, Tony? We haven’t blown these guys out since the mid-80’s….
And you see reason now to think we will? Just wishing/hoping/praying isn’t gonna make it happen. We’ll be lucky if we just win the game.
And I don’t think we will, not with how undisciplined and inconsistent we’ve been in EVERY SINGLE GAME this year. There is zero reason to expect anything other than our normal bitter disappointment.
Why set yourselves up for it? Spare yourselves and just be giddy AFTER the game if we do somehow pull one off.
Predicting us to win, much less blow them out is just dumb where I sit.
Fire Mark Richt!
True Dawg Fan
October 28th, 2011
2:22 pm
We are doing the smae thing with Malcolm Mitchell, no report on whether he made the trip.
IC however made the trip and is on the dress list so the drug test is just a rumor for now.
Dap01
October 28th, 2011
2:25 pm
DEJA VU: Schultz is anti UGA. Once a part of the 26,000 Tech faithful, always apart.
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
2:25 pm
True Dawg
I don’t think it’s been any secret Mitchell is out
phil
October 28th, 2011
2:27 pm
The rumor on IC is no rumor….
He should be benched right here and now, along with the rest of the violators.
Despicable that they’re being allowed to play.
Gator CHOMP Champ
October 28th, 2011
2:33 pm
Say it with me again: FL always beats GA.
It always happens…FL always beats GA.
Gator CHOMP Champ
October 28th, 2011
2:35 pm
Why hold the author accountable for picking what history states will always happen?
phil
October 28th, 2011
2:37 pm
If always were the case, doof, then ok….but wins in 2007, 2002 and 1997 would mean it’s not always….
Can you understand that? Dismal numbers for us, but it ain’t always….
Back in the 70s and 80s, we “always” beat you clowns….hate it for you if it ever flips back.
True Dawg Fan
October 28th, 2011
2:39 pm
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
2:25 pm
True Dawg
I don’t think it’s been any secret Mitchell is out
You dont know for sure and Florida still has to prepare for him to be in the game. Rumors from the trainers are that he will play, but most likely very limited, maybe even a decoy. Unless he had a set back yeterday in the walk through or a side training session he should be in there.