Weekend Predictions: Deja vu time (Gators over Dogs)
Before we get to the SEC East, the Republican primary of college divisions where everybody looks like a 4-4 team with two soundbites, a new tax plan and reservations for the Liberty Bowl, this just in: We’ve officially gone to hell.
With the holiday shopping season just around the corner, Mattel is preparing to launch, “Tokidoki” Tattoo Barbie in the U.S. I am not making this up. She has pink hair, is covered with tattoos around her neck and arms and has another just above her Barbie Buttocks (copyright?) that reads, “Ken” (in a heart).
![tattooedbarbie[1]](http://blogs.ajc.com/jeff-schultz-blog/files/2011/10/tattooedbarbie11.jpg "tattooedbarbie[1]")
Mattel has come under criticism but says the doll is targeted at adult collectors, not children, which is why we can also soon expect Wowsa Mondo Implant Barbie, Underground Kim Kardashian Video Barbie (with rapper), Strung Out Lindsay Leg Chains Lohan Barbie, and, a sidekick: the Ha Ha How Does It Feel To Have That Tie Rod Jammed Into Your Forehead Ndamukong Suh Psychotic Ken doll (candy Thorazine in grape and cherry flavors included).
See? You just can’t count on anything any more.
Oh wait. It’s Georgia-Florida week. Never mind.
I know. This is the year, right? Aaron Murray is better
![tattoo_barbie[1]](http://blogs.ajc.com/jeff-schultz-blog/files/2011/10/tattoo_barbie12.jpg "tattoo_barbie[1]")
That "Indonesia" branding had to really hurt.
The Georgia defense is better than Florida’s.
Chris Rainey? He hasn’t been a threat since Gainesville police revoked his texting privileges. (”Time To Die…Hello? Hello?”)
Will Muschamp? Look at those eyes. We never trusted him!
And the Dogs have won five in a row!
Whatever.
Let’s look at this. The teams have one common opponent so far: Tennessee. They both won. Whoop.
Florida got boat-raced by Alabama and LSU. Like Georgia wouldn’t?
Georgia’s four SEC wins have come over teams with a combined conference record of 1-15. Murray has been average. The defense has been better but will be missing two starters (Kwame Geathers, Shawn Williams) for suspensions in the first half, and can’t really be sure what they’ll get from two other starters just back (Cornelius Washington, suspension; Alec Ogletree, broken foot). Also, Malcolm Mitchell likely won’t play.
Florida’s average. Maybe below average. But this is close enough to a push. Sorry, but a push ain’t pushing me over to the anemic side of 3-18.
Florida is getting 3. I’ll take the points. And the upset. Gators win.
Saturday Value Menu
(Add fries and a used car from Houston Nutt for 99 cents)
Paul Johnson is not taking losing well.
Clemson at Tech: The Jackets have three offensive touchdowns in the last nine quarters. I think it’s clear Al Groh needs to fire Paul Johnson and hire a new offensive coordinator. Tevin Washington’s confidence looks shot and sources say Johnson is miserable, which explains the stockades on the sideline at practice. Clemson covers 3½.
South Carolina at Tennessee: Your Poultry update: Marcus Lattimore is done, Stephen Garcia is plotting his next career move at Barbizon, and Alshon Jeffery seems as relevant as Gummo Marx without his brothers. But it’s Tennessee. The Vowels have been outscored 95-25 in their last three games, and Derek Dooley wonders, “Why did I give up law again?” Gamecocks cover 4.
Mississippi at Auburn: I just learned Houston Nutt has a $6 million buyout. Do they not offer classes in high finance in the land of Faulkner? Nutt’s SEC losing streak runs to 11, and Auburn covers 11.
Arkansas at Vanderbilt: The Commodores were painted as dirty against Georgia and last week had to apologize for blasting music over the loud speaker and drowning out the Army alma mater. So now they’re un-American. The Vandy bad boys. If this keeps up and they may be allowed back in the SEC. Hey, can anybody cut-block Bobby Petrino? Arkansas wins but give me Vandy and 10.
Georgia State at Texas-San Antonio: It turns out the Longhorn Network does exist. It’s carrying this game. I believe GSU-UTSA comes on right after, “In The Kitchen With Fred Akers” and “Texas A.D. DeLoss Dodds At The Yalta Conference: Revisionists History, Brought To You By ESPN.” No line. Panthers make it two straight.
NFL Snack Pack
Lions' defense warms up for this week's game. That's Suh on the left.
Paper Lions at Broncos: It’s Matthew Stafford vs. Tim Tebow. That’s timely. (Advice to Lions: If you score, don’t empty the bench and celebrate in the end zone. Leaves a hangover.) Stafford is banged up and struggling to hold together an imploding team with defense of cretins. Was that Suh robbing a blood bank this week? Take the 3 but Denver wins in an upset.
Cowboys at Dream Team: Philadelphia’s Asante Samuel ripped management, saying they’re “playing fantasy football.” Hah! Nobody in my league would’ve been dumb enough to sign Ronnie Brown. Take Dallas and 3½, and in an upset.
Patriots at Steelers: Tom Brady vs. Pittsburgh: 6-1, 14 touchdowns, three interceptions. Check? New England covers 3.
Dolphins at Giants: Miami’s quarterback depth chart: Matt Moore, J.P. Losman. My eyes! My eyes! Giants cover 10.
•
Toteboard
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” — Kin Hubbard
Last week (slightly cloudy): 11-1 straight up, 8-4 against the line.
Overall (Real. And spectacular): 70-25 straight up; 61-33-1 against the line.
“Sack Schultz” contest: Last week’s winners: Local–Mitchell Hunter (13-2) of Sharpsburg, GA. National–Olivia Trebino (14-1) of Pomona, Ca. I’m slipping. Badly. Not entered? Click here for details.
By Jeff Schultz
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544 comments Add your comment
GTJeff
October 27th, 2011
3:50 pm
Clemson may have struggled defending the option but now we struggle running the option.
Spanky
October 27th, 2011
3:51 pm
GTBoob,…I mean “Bob”…there you are! Misery loves company right?…then again, Tech nerds should be used to misery, right? I think this year the dawgs finally get the “W” for this one, but will concede that Tech’s defense will be as confused as a Tech fan on an actual date…with a human girl!! LOL
1eyedJack
October 27th, 2011
3:53 pm
Dawgs win.
GT gets run over by a tractor.
Dooley gets a “signature” win. I hope.
As far as the rest, who cares?
James
October 27th, 2011
3:53 pm
Murray is 0-7 vs. ranekd teams.
IF YOU NEED A WIN, IN A BIG GAME, GO WITH bRANTLEY.
mURRAY CHOKES.
kerryb
October 27th, 2011
3:54 pm
Moron, kind of like you picking TN to beat the Dawgs. Wrong on that one wasn’t you?
Spanky
October 27th, 2011
3:54 pm
Jeff, did you hear about another new bowl? Military Bowl!….saw it on Rivals.com..There are so many now, that this may even be played during the regular season!!…Your thoughts?
kerryb
October 27th, 2011
3:55 pm
James, Brantley is going to be lucky to survive the game. With a bad ankle , and a bad OL he’s not escaping that defense.
1eyedJack
October 27th, 2011
3:57 pm
Well then, I hope we don’t injure Brantley so bad that he misses the S. Car. game. We need all the help we can get.
kerryb
October 27th, 2011
3:57 pm
You’re going to really get sacked this year because your picks stink and have no logic to them including this one.
Beast from the East
October 27th, 2011
3:58 pm
Gators 26
Dawgs 24
Tiggers 51
Jackets 21
Gamecocks 27
Vowels 17
Arky 41
Vandy 9
lawzoo
October 27th, 2011
3:58 pm
You’re right about the SEC East being like the Republican Primary.
Every time I see ‘em dawgs I see Rick Perry and UF is Mitt Romney.
Those mighty mighty gators will slide by ‘em dawgs.(Get it…Mitt has slick hair?)
True Dawg Fan
October 27th, 2011
3:59 pm
Being doubtful doesn mean he is out moron. At least read the other articles. Come on. But that would require you to actually do your job and work. Which you never do so why start now?
Anyone who thinks this idiot has anytihng intelligent to say should go play in traffic
Reality
October 27th, 2011
3:59 pm
UF 31 UGA 20
Clem 45 GT 41
kerryb
October 27th, 2011
4:00 pm
The logic is that Florida has won most of the last several years so I’ll just say they will win again. My logic would be that UGA’s team is better (which it is) and that streak is bound to be over soon. UGA had the same streak in the 70″ and 80″ and that finally turned. It’s time for this one to turn.
kerryb
October 27th, 2011
4:01 pm
THIS WILL BE REALITY UGA 28 UF 14
Hankie Aron
October 27th, 2011
4:02 pm
Tech loses by 3 or 4 in a game closer than the experts think.
Beast from the East
October 27th, 2011
4:02 pm
I guess my last post got lost in cyberspace.
Gators win a close one.
Jackets get blown out
SC by 2 TD’s over the Vowels
Arky destroys Vandy
MattinATL
October 27th, 2011
4:02 pm
Keep picking against UGA, and keep losing, Schultz.
gbal
October 27th, 2011
4:04 pm
CHALLENGE TO UGA FANS >>>>>
STOP BLOGGING ON THIS POST
STOP BLOGGING ON THIS POST
STOP BLOGGING ON THIS POST
STOP BLOGGING ON THIS POST
HE CAN SAY I TOLD YOU SO ON MONDAY IF HE LIKES
CAN WE DO IT?????
STOP BLOGGING ON THIS POST!!!!!
Beast from the East
October 27th, 2011
4:04 pm
“UGA had the same streak in the 70″ and 80″
No, not really. If I’m not mistaken, Dooley was 17-7-1 against UF, which was very impressive. The current streak is 3-18. That isn’t impressive….it’s DOMINATION!
Fred
October 27th, 2011
4:06 pm
Let the Dawg whining begin!!!
Beast from the East
October 27th, 2011
4:06 pm
So if Jeff doesn’t pick your team then you shouldn’t read his stuff? Better not read anything that isn’t written by Bill King then. He’s the only paid homer. The others just write their OPINIONS.
GIVE ME A BREAK
October 27th, 2011
4:06 pm
Lex, are you in J’ville?
Panama
October 27th, 2011
4:09 pm
Jeff,
I believe the LHN is only viewable in the campus cafeterias of U of Texas System Schools.:P
Hopefully we come home with a win
Dawglasville
October 27th, 2011
4:11 pm
I understand your UGA pick. You seem to enjoy writing about it waaay too much. I hope the Dawgs win out, of course. Even if, and I understand it is, “if,” but if the Dawgs finish the season 11-3 it’s a no win situation. All we will hear about is the SEC Least and yadda, yadda. At the end of the day Jeff, be glad you have the Dawgs, no other team in this state will generate this much interest.
P_The_Ricker
October 27th, 2011
4:17 pm
Beast,
What’s it going to take for you to change your moniker? Having difficulty accepting the tag of UF as “beast from the east.” How about “beast [in hibernation] from the east?”
Dawgs 27
Gators 10
reebok
October 27th, 2011
4:19 pm
tech’s gonna get flattened by clemson. dogs in a close one ofver the gators.
reebok
October 27th, 2011
4:20 pm
Over, not ofver. But you all probably knew that.
joeygt1
October 27th, 2011
4:22 pm
dont get me wrong most likeley clemson will win against gatech but didnt they barely beat wofford who runs the tripple option…35-27…that make me beleive if our offense comes out and executes our offense this will be a complete shootout and we could win… i think if that happens we win 38-35 ga tech
DawginLex
October 27th, 2011
4:22 pm
not going to the game
Kim Basinger graduated from UGA
Fred
October 27th, 2011
4:23 pm
UF>> Vandy at Home. UGA gets hammered!!
Phillip S Thompson
October 27th, 2011
4:23 pm
Schultz,
Like I say every week on here, you are a wuss who has never played a down foot beyond 11 years old. The Dawgs made you look as stupid as you really are in Knoxville and will do it again in Jacksonville. I heard they write things about you on the bathroom stalls at the AJC.
GIVE ME A BREAK
October 27th, 2011
4:26 pm
OK, It must have been someone else heading that way.
Better game could be added
October 27th, 2011
4:32 pm
Jeff,
I appreciate the work you put into crafting your predictions column, but I wish you would have added another contest to your listing of games. Georgia Southern at Appalachian State would have been a fine one to tack on to your rundown. It stands to reason Georgia Southern/Appy will be a better played game than the brewhaha(spelled wrong intently to pun the liquid courage motif) in Jacksonville.
Thanks again Jeff and look forward to your next posting.
bulldog steve
October 27th, 2011
4:33 pm
Schultz picking us to lose is the best news I have hear all week. He has a better chance of picking up beautiful women then he does picking football games.
Beast from the East
October 27th, 2011
4:34 pm
P_The_Ricker,
Not until it ceases to be the truth. Look at all sports. UF is still the king of the East and the conference for that matter. One bad year ain’t gonna do it!
That said, if I lose my bet with DawginLex, then I’ll have to change it to BeastFronTheEastEatenByDawg. Probably gonna happen due to the disparity in the schedules, but a bet’s a bet.
Mr. Holmes
October 27th, 2011
4:35 pm
“… and struggling to hold together an imploding team with defense of cretins.”
They lost two games in a row. This is a little much. Suh and Avril do need to cut back on the pre-game eight balls, but two weeks ago this was a Lions team “built the right way” with “weapons on all sides of the ball,” etc.
Lions win big over Timmy. Did you watch the freakin game in Miami? That was 57 minutes of HORRID quarterback play, and the Lions D isn’t going to head to the locker room with 3 minutes on the clock.
Mad Dog One
October 27th, 2011
4:35 pm
Jeff thank you for picking the lizzards. They have won over the following FAU, UAB, TENN. UK. That is a mighty body of work. I doubt we will even score a point GIVE ME A #$#@$# BREAK. If they had beat UA, AU or LSU then I could understand everone’s doubts but I don’t see any reason for us to fear the “belly sliders” they will have 11 players on O & D same as us. As always GO DOGS & GATA
Chuck
October 27th, 2011
4:37 pm
Dawgs win if they stay of of their own way. Muschamp is horrible, and won’t be in Florida long. They, unlike too many teams I support, don’t tolerate losing at all, and Muschamp had better be renting in Gainesville. If there was ever a time Georgia could right the ship for a few years, this is it. Muschamp=Ray Goff in coaching ability, though he is a world champion blow-hard and all around jackass. So embarrassed that he played at UGA. He should be embarrassed at HOW he played at UGA, come to think of it.
Suh will thrash touchdown Jesus (and I will love every minute of it) and Detroit will get back on track. Denver is only killing its own future with every win they eek out with mediocre Timmy at qb. Suck for Luck, boys…
Hope Tech upsets Clemson. Loved CPJ when I was up at Navy, but he’s gotten a little full of himself lately. Still hope he manages to knock Clemson down a few over-rated notches.
Headed to St Aug to fish before gettin my drink on! Be safe, boys!
Go Dawgs!
Beast from the East
October 27th, 2011
4:38 pm
Mad Dog One,
Neither UF nor UGA has beaten anyone worth a flip. Both lost to every good team they’ve played. I don’t think you can assume either one is better than the other based on what we’ve seen so far. I expect a close game that could go either way.
JaxDawg
October 27th, 2011
4:38 pm
Georgia will win and Schultz will eat his words!
Fred
October 27th, 2011
4:40 pm
Gatorbait!!!!
5150 UOAD
October 27th, 2011
4:41 pm
Lex……….. do you know where i can find that? She was a FORD Model in New York at 16 and her first movie was finished when she was 21. I would be surprised if she even finished high school since she was making Bank as a model.
Mad Dog One
October 27th, 2011
4:43 pm
Beast that was my point . I expect it to be a dog fight”pun entended” to the end. With both teams having the week off before the game should more even both ways. By the way of all of the other teams fans you come with the most football related post I have read on here with out the “our team will beat your team” and no reason other than they say so. As always GO DOGS & GATA
Richt`s Hammer
October 27th, 2011
4:45 pm
We are doomed.
I have it. I have a stash of red panties. I will hand them out to the team and we can put lipstick on Russ. That will show Florida we mean business.
Eric C.
October 27th, 2011
4:46 pm
I’m really confused about this…can some please explain???
http://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/2011/aaron-murray-fsu-party/
P_The_Ricker
October 27th, 2011
4:48 pm
Can’t argue w/ the statement that UF sports teams as a whole is the premier institution in the SEC. I was merely referring to the football team. Of course, a year and a half is really not that big of a downward spiral……you can see how anxious I am to FINALLY take a jab.
Top Dawg of Blue Ridge
October 27th, 2011
4:49 pm
Hmmm… Wish I could make a living at guessing scores. JS is at least humorous…
Beast from the East
October 27th, 2011
4:51 pm
Eric C.,
I heard he was just visiting some friends from high school and attending the game during UGA’s bye week. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Probably had a whole lot more fun than any of us did last weekend!
Gator Jim Bob
October 27th, 2011
4:52 pm
hey tonyb, obviously u ain’t seen the ball since kick-off! You are delusional if you think the pups are going to beat the gators. no way, wont happen, ridiculous. Ga cant match up with Fl speed. Ga has a suspect secondary and Fl will pass them silly!! When we get Rainey or Delk on the corners and it becomes a footrace, who you got gonna catch ‘em? hahaha.Ga win the SEC East. About as likely as Sherman making another “march to the sea” from Atlanta!!!