Weekend Predictions: Deja vu time (Gators over Dogs)
Before we get to the SEC East, the Republican primary of college divisions where everybody looks like a 4-4 team with two soundbites, a new tax plan and reservations for the Liberty Bowl, this just in: We’ve officially gone to hell.
With the holiday shopping season just around the corner, Mattel is preparing to launch, “Tokidoki” Tattoo Barbie in the U.S. I am not making this up. She has pink hair, is covered with tattoos around her neck and arms and has another just above her Barbie Buttocks (copyright?) that reads, “Ken” (in a heart).
![tattooedbarbie[1]](http://blogs.ajc.com/jeff-schultz-blog/files/2011/10/tattooedbarbie11.jpg "tattooedbarbie[1]")
Mattel has come under criticism but says the doll is targeted at adult collectors, not children, which is why we can also soon expect Wowsa Mondo Implant Barbie, Underground Kim Kardashian Video Barbie (with rapper), Strung Out Lindsay Leg Chains Lohan Barbie, and, a sidekick: the Ha Ha How Does It Feel To Have That Tie Rod Jammed Into Your Forehead Ndamukong Suh Psychotic Ken doll (candy Thorazine in grape and cherry flavors included).
See? You just can’t count on anything any more.
Oh wait. It’s Georgia-Florida week. Never mind.
I know. This is the year, right? Aaron Murray is better
![tattoo_barbie[1]](http://blogs.ajc.com/jeff-schultz-blog/files/2011/10/tattoo_barbie12.jpg "tattoo_barbie[1]")
That "Indonesia" branding had to really hurt.
The Georgia defense is better than Florida’s.
Chris Rainey? He hasn’t been a threat since Gainesville police revoked his texting privileges. (”Time To Die…Hello? Hello?”)
Will Muschamp? Look at those eyes. We never trusted him!
And the Dogs have won five in a row!
Whatever.
Let’s look at this. The teams have one common opponent so far: Tennessee. They both won. Whoop.
Florida got boat-raced by Alabama and LSU. Like Georgia wouldn’t?
Georgia’s four SEC wins have come over teams with a combined conference record of 1-15. Murray has been average. The defense has been better but will be missing two starters (Kwame Geathers, Shawn Williams) for suspensions in the first half, and can’t really be sure what they’ll get from two other starters just back (Cornelius Washington, suspension; Alec Ogletree, broken foot). Also, Malcolm Mitchell likely won’t play.
Florida’s average. Maybe below average. But this is close enough to a push. Sorry, but a push ain’t pushing me over to the anemic side of 3-18.
Florida is getting 3. I’ll take the points. And the upset. Gators win.
Saturday Value Menu
(Add fries and a used car from Houston Nutt for 99 cents)
Paul Johnson is not taking losing well.
Clemson at Tech: The Jackets have three offensive touchdowns in the last nine quarters. I think it’s clear Al Groh needs to fire Paul Johnson and hire a new offensive coordinator. Tevin Washington’s confidence looks shot and sources say Johnson is miserable, which explains the stockades on the sideline at practice. Clemson covers 3½.
South Carolina at Tennessee: Your Poultry update: Marcus Lattimore is done, Stephen Garcia is plotting his next career move at Barbizon, and Alshon Jeffery seems as relevant as Gummo Marx without his brothers. But it’s Tennessee. The Vowels have been outscored 95-25 in their last three games, and Derek Dooley wonders, “Why did I give up law again?” Gamecocks cover 4.
Mississippi at Auburn: I just learned Houston Nutt has a $6 million buyout. Do they not offer classes in high finance in the land of Faulkner? Nutt’s SEC losing streak runs to 11, and Auburn covers 11.
Arkansas at Vanderbilt: The Commodores were painted as dirty against Georgia and last week had to apologize for blasting music over the loud speaker and drowning out the Army alma mater. So now they’re un-American. The Vandy bad boys. If this keeps up and they may be allowed back in the SEC. Hey, can anybody cut-block Bobby Petrino? Arkansas wins but give me Vandy and 10.
Georgia State at Texas-San Antonio: It turns out the Longhorn Network does exist. It’s carrying this game. I believe GSU-UTSA comes on right after, “In The Kitchen With Fred Akers” and “Texas A.D. DeLoss Dodds At The Yalta Conference: Revisionists History, Brought To You By ESPN.” No line. Panthers make it two straight.
NFL Snack Pack
Lions' defense warms up for this week's game. That's Suh on the left.
Paper Lions at Broncos: It’s Matthew Stafford vs. Tim Tebow. That’s timely. (Advice to Lions: If you score, don’t empty the bench and celebrate in the end zone. Leaves a hangover.) Stafford is banged up and struggling to hold together an imploding team with defense of cretins. Was that Suh robbing a blood bank this week? Take the 3 but Denver wins in an upset.
Cowboys at Dream Team: Philadelphia’s Asante Samuel ripped management, saying they’re “playing fantasy football.” Hah! Nobody in my league would’ve been dumb enough to sign Ronnie Brown. Take Dallas and 3½, and in an upset.
Patriots at Steelers: Tom Brady vs. Pittsburgh: 6-1, 14 touchdowns, three interceptions. Check? New England covers 3.
Dolphins at Giants: Miami’s quarterback depth chart: Matt Moore, J.P. Losman. My eyes! My eyes! Giants cover 10.
•
Toteboard
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” — Kin Hubbard
Last week (slightly cloudy): 11-1 straight up, 8-4 against the line.
Overall (Real. And spectacular): 70-25 straight up; 61-33-1 against the line.
“Sack Schultz” contest: Last week’s winners: Local–Mitchell Hunter (13-2) of Sharpsburg, GA. National–Olivia Trebino (14-1) of Pomona, Ca. I’m slipping. Badly. Not entered? Click here for details.
By Jeff Schultz
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544 comments Add your comment
Dawg-Central
October 28th, 2011
5:16 pm
LOL………you not counting all the games……again…whether it be 20 or 60………you count them all……..dang…….what a dumb dumb………I said 1990 because you clowns think thats when your program started…….how many SEC titles or a dust rag did you have flying in Gainsville before then????/ Exactly…….count them all……..
Border Dweller
October 28th, 2011
5:19 pm
Dawgs by 21, easy. The Gators suck worse than usual this year.
Dawg Doo
October 28th, 2011
5:27 pm
Ok, by your leg humper logic, Georgia had no history for two decades, between 1982 and 2002. Makes a lot of sense. No one disputes that Georgia holds the series lead. But it will only take a few more years for Florida to overcome Georgia’s dominance in the 30’s and 40’s. You know, Minnesota used to be a national power. The Golden Gophers won multiple national championships in the 30’s and 40’s. No one is denying that it happened or that they count. They’re just not very relevant anymore.
Dawg-Central
October 28th, 2011
5:33 pm
UGA fans remember all the years, whether bad or good…..gator fans have amnisha before 1990……….a programs history IS relevant….wow……so you think 30 years from now none of these gator wins or national titles will be relevant…….LOL……..that good ole gator logic, if there is such a thing.
Ed
October 28th, 2011
5:34 pm
I think Jeff wants Obama to be president for 5 more years. The only thing scarier than Georgia’s recent record in the Cocktail Party is Obama’s record as president.
ARdawg
October 28th, 2011
5:35 pm
Doo Doo
There is a much bigger window of Florida’s irrelevance than there is of Florida’s relevance. What are you, 15 years old?
Jeff Eats Quiche
October 28th, 2011
5:36 pm
And supports Obama. Coincidence? I think not.
Gator CHOMP Champ
October 28th, 2011
5:40 pm
Directions: FL always beats GA, repeat.
Apalachicola
October 28th, 2011
5:40 pm
If you were 60 you’d remember Georgia being relevant. Now get outta my yard!
Gator CHOMP Champ
October 28th, 2011
5:41 pm
Dawg doo: spot on.
GrantParkGator
October 28th, 2011
5:42 pm
Georgia dominated the rivalry early, winning the first six (or seven, according to UGA) meetings and building a 21–5–1 series lead before 1950. However, after the 2010 game, Florida has won 18 out of the last 21 meetings, including three straight, and holds a 35–25–1 advantage in the series since 1950. The Bulldogs still lead the all-time series, 46–40–2. SECsports
Dawg Doo
October 28th, 2011
5:44 pm
Trust me, Gator fans are more than happy to claim Dale Van Sickel, Gen. James Van Fleet, Charlie Bachman, Ray Graves, Steve Spurrier, Jack Youngblood, Wes Chandler, Wilbur Marshall, Emmitt Smith, for example. Look you can hardly speak for yourself, you really shouldn’t try to speak for Gator fans.
bamaguy
October 28th, 2011
5:47 pm
It will definitely be the best game of the day tomorrow. I am not sure Florida isn’t the better team, they competed well and lost against the two best teams in the country and that is good practice while Georgia hasn’t beaten anyone of consequence and it took all they had and a brawl to beat the mighty Commodores. But Georgia is on a roll so that is in their favor. Will be fun to watch
Dawg Doo
October 28th, 2011
5:48 pm
Guess what, ARDawg – there’s a lot of “irrelevance” in Georgia’s history too, notwithstanding your collective delusions of grandeur. Nice dig at the end of your post. Where did you ever come up with something so clever?? I really underestimated your wit.
bamaguy
October 28th, 2011
6:02 pm
Dawg Doo, did you see the Bleacher Report article on sports most delusional fan bases? One of the ones listed was the University of Georgia. Reason stated: They actually believe their football program to be a national powerhouse.
NoeBeeEss
October 28th, 2011
7:33 pm
Florida’s experience playing against elite competition gives them a definite advantage in the “big game” atmosphere of Jax. I look for the Dawgs to get frustrated and quit the first time something goes wrong for them. That’ll probably be early in the first quarter.
Vince Doodly
October 28th, 2011
7:48 pm
Im not surprised Barbie has a tramp stamp. She’s been shaving her hoo ha for years.
JSS
October 28th, 2011
7:48 pm
Even here in Mexico, it reads the same way; same day, same tired UGA football posts!!! Hola Jeff Schultz, I finally met drivers with a greater death wish than than the Thai! And they do with mountains of at least 18,000 feet too! I left a present for you and 5150 POAD in your FB inbox…Two and a half more weeks of peace for suckers!!!
Wet Willie...keep on smiling
October 28th, 2011
7:58 pm
UGA…the best college football in America…from March until August….football power…LOL…in your mind.
Not So Fast
October 28th, 2011
8:17 pm
Everyone crying about the Vandy game grow up. UGA struggles with Vanderbilt a lot even when they have the better team. Check the history books. Mark it down UGA kills Florida.
Not So Fast
October 28th, 2011
8:19 pm
2011 has that 2007 feel to it Gator chumps.
Napoli
October 28th, 2011
9:11 pm
The athletic history of UGA is full of so many sordid, sleazy incidents – dating back to Vince Dooley and continuing through Mark Richt – that it’s impossible to overlook. The school has come to stand for drunkenness and lawlessness, coddling of illiterate athletes who should never have been admitted to college, and rampant cheating by coaches.
UGA and Mark Richt are an affront and an embarrassment to all decent people in this state.
Bobo is Not the Problem
October 28th, 2011
9:17 pm
Good call on UGA, Jeff. You forgot one salient and vital point in your analysis:
UGA IS STILL COACHED BY MARK RICHT.
Gators win, easy.
FIRE MARK RICHT.
Not So Fast
October 28th, 2011
9:17 pm
Napoli who is your team? Georgia Tech has the LOWEST graduation rate in the ACC. That’s a freaking embarrassment. And Florida football players have just as many arrest as UGA players. And I don’t recall a Dawg sending a text saying I’m going to kill you. You my sir are an affront to people in this country. These are 18-22 year old kids their not going to be perfect. This is a football blog not a social commentary.
Not So Fast
October 28th, 2011
9:18 pm
Murray > Stafford. Check the stats haters.
Bill Stanfill
October 28th, 2011
9:20 pm
Napoli, you’re a no-life moron with nothing better to do on a Friday night than to troll on a GA website. You don’t know what decent is. Hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. Anytime, any place, buddy.
Not So Fast
October 28th, 2011
9:35 pm
UGA better watch out for shivs never know what Chris “Time to Die” Rainey might have hidden in his sock.
jc-dawgs
October 28th, 2011
10:10 pm
20-16 Georgia. But….I am assuming there will be no Ga botched defense of a fake punt. Or a Murray pick 6. Because if that happens?….we’d be looking at a 23-20 Florida win and that would leave you Jeff….looking like a genius…..imagine that?
All Saints
October 29th, 2011
8:06 am
Just a reminder that we’ll be having our regular tribute and moment of silence this afternoon for Saint Jan Kemp, the courageous martyr who exposed UGA and Vince Dooley’s “remedial studies” fraud.
Please approach this special moment with reverence as we honor her sacred name.
Rain Maker Dan
October 29th, 2011
9:52 am
Sadly neither UGA or UF have a decent football team this year. Todays game will not be a highly watched game compared to previous years. The more interesting game will be when the Dogs meet the Yellow Jackets in a few weeks!
If Richt does not finish with more wins than losses this year, he is toast and will be looking for work elsewhere! I really like the guy personally, but “he is accountable in the end” for several lackluster seasons!
whats a three point shot worth ?
October 29th, 2011
9:53 am
Fla. wins in a beat down….and would all you UGA fans please pick up your 40 tons of trash off the beaches of St Simons on your way back to Athens.
ARdawg
October 29th, 2011
10:05 am
Doo Doo
The only experience Florida has gained by playing the two best teams in the country is how to get it broken off in their respective @zzes. It doesn’t matter who they play re: Auburn. The gators are a whipping boy this year, accept that fact. Today is only more bad news for the Gators that your dominance in the game has come to an end. Some things are inevitable death, taxes and Georgia winning the East
NoeBeeEss
October 29th, 2011
10:34 am
The sad state of the SEC East this year presents a golden opportunity for CMR to add yet another hollow victory to his resume and place yet another meaningless trophy in the case for being the best of the worst.
Still, this being Mark Richt, I give him a 99% chance of blowing it.
josh
October 29th, 2011
10:34 am
I will take my alma mater (UGA) by 17 and new AJC writers who actually like their home teams
GR82BAG8R
October 29th, 2011
10:37 am
Both UGA and the Gators have a lot of uncertainty about them this year, but UGA has played a lot better lately, and they have a more consistent core at HC and QB as well as overall better talent. UGA should win this with little problem, barring too many mistakes.
Until Tech beats UGA two years in a row – - or at least wins another bowl game – - Tech fans should sit down, be quiet, and watch how major college football is played in the SEC. Maryland loses to Temple, yet beats Miami who easily beats Tech….
NoeBeeEss
October 29th, 2011
10:38 am
@josh
Don’t bet your lunch money. Writers have to write what they see – not what they’d like to see.
ARdawg
October 29th, 2011
10:50 am
NoeBees
There is a reason they are writing and not playing. They by in large know no more or less than the average fan. Why people get so sideways because a writer picks one team over the next is a mystery
NoeBeeEss
October 29th, 2011
11:54 am
@ARdawg
The reason you aren’t writing is fairly obvious.
Talk about selective history...
October 29th, 2011
12:01 pm
Dawg-Central
October 28th, 2011
5:33 pm
UGA fans remember all the years, whether bad or good…..gator fans have amnisha before 1990
—
If UGA fans remember all of the years why do I keep reading posts about how UGA is 3-1 against Alabama in the last 10 years? Overall is 24-36-3
Heck,against LSU you don’t even talk about the last 10 years (3-3) preferring to talk about the last 4 games (3-1). Overall is 12-15-1.
UGA2002
October 29th, 2011
1:06 pm
Not So Fast
October 28th, 2011
8:17 pm
Everyone crying about the Vandy game grow up. UGA struggles with Vanderbilt a lot even when they have the better team. Check the history books. Mark it down UGA kills Florida.
————
Um… under this logic of look back in the history books then I guess we should look back in the history books about the worlds largest outdoor cocktail party?
Gators, pissed after losing 3, win big. But we still keep CMR.
Scrod
October 29th, 2011
1:16 pm
Amnisha?? I think I went to high school with a girl named Amnisah. She was a dawg.
Scrot
October 29th, 2011
1:28 pm
I dated a chick named Amish. Sh was boring
ARdawg
October 29th, 2011
1:54 pm
NoeBees
That’s just yet another thing you know nothing about. What are you now? 0 for 10?
Dawgs will make lizard roadkill
October 29th, 2011
1:55 pm
This series is about to take a major good turn for UGA….
The Redcoats are Coming!!
October 29th, 2011
2:00 pm
Muschamp deep down, loves UGA. His only love for Fl is the paycheck. You can tell how uncomfortable he is when he has to talk about loyalty to FL. He is our secret weapon. Lizards Benedict Arnold, if you “Will”. Fl will be calling for his head as UGA starts it’s own winning streak TODAY.
Go Dawgs!
October 29th, 2011
2:03 pm
Over/Under on Muschamp going “Bug-Eyed” during game…..15
Dawgs win in a landslide!
Go Dawgs!
October 29th, 2011
2:06 pm
And Constipation Spurrier…..He always looks constipated during a game, doesn’t he?!….
will lose today and put UGA in sole possession of first place!
Visor man will be chucking that visor about 15 times tonight and much more in next 2 weeks!
JayDawg
October 29th, 2011
3:32 pm
If GEORGIA WINS? Are we STUCK WITH RICHT AND BOBO for 5 more years?
NBA cancels all games through Nov. 30 – Atlanta Journal Constitution
October 29th, 2011
3:50 pm
[...] Weekend Predictions: Deja vu time (Gators over Dogs) [...]
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
October 29th, 2011
3:55 pm
HA HA HA
CHOKE is still 24th in passing