Fight predictions: Falcons win, Jackets fall, SEC cowers
What is going on with all of this violence lately? Coaches going after coaches. Coaches going after players who went after coaches. One player even punched another right in the soft part of his zone defense.
A man can’t even go hunting any more without the whole animal kingdom getting upset about it. True story: Some Alaskan moose hunter — and doesn’t every great story start that way? — went out the other day with his musket, hoping to blow off the head of one of nature’s, unarmed creatures, who were just sitting around playing gin-rummy.
Anyway, this guy gets attacked by a grizzly bear, because unbeknownst to the hunter, the Moose, the Grizzlies and the Deer (Wake Forest) have all formed some super alliance and soon plan to announce a conference championship game and a mega-TV deal with ESPN. (That part, I might’ve made up.).
Anyway, the hunter ends up escaping, and I think the grizzly’s head is now on somebody’s wall, and the moral of the story is that the guy with the musket usually wins and the SEC will never admonish him for being an idiot because it’s easier to look tough when you pick on the kid because he’s going to be off campus soon anyway. (See how I did that?)
So the SEC suspends Georgia and Vanderbilt players, but not even a reprimand for the coaches. The conference hasn’t been this whipped since it was taking orders from Urban Meyer.
Meanwhile, on to the less violent ACC. Georgia Tech plays Miami. The Hurricanes will be without defensive tackle Micanor Regis, who last week punched a North Carolina player, Dwight Jones, in the groin. Miami suspended him for “violation of team rules,” which should cover most felonies, post-Jimmy Johnson.
The Jackets have their own issues. The offense produced two touchdowns against Virginia. That’s like a punch to the groin for Paul Johnson. The defense has given up 520 yards rushing in the last two games. On second thought, maybe Johnson should punch Al Groh in the groin.
Tech suddenly has too many warning signs. Also, Miami hasn’t been a garden spot for them. Jackets lose. Canes cover 3.
Mr. Blutarsky: Zero. Point. Zero.
"Classy" Freddie Blassie has a plan for Florida.
Todd Grantham: Off this week. Studying the poetry of Freddie Blassie to prepare for the Florida game.
South Alabama at Georgia State: The Panthers have lost five straight. The problem isn’t Bill Curry’s coaching. The problem is, at the age of 69, he can tackle better than some of his players. No line: State wins.
Tennessee at Alabama: Nick Saban responded to questions about conference expansion and the Heisman race with something from Bartletts’ Quotations: “I could give a s— about all that, excuse my French.” Why do we blame the French every time we swear? And hey, if Saban thinks he has problems, Derek Dooley can look at Tennessee game film and give you an entire dissertation in French. Tide covers 29.
North Carolina at Clemson: Dwight Jones will sing the national anthem. Clemson covers 10½.
Auburn at LSU: Three LSU players have been suspended, reportedly for “synthetic” marijuana, which further magnifies the tragedy of today’s youth because they don’t know the first thing about planting seeds, putting a grow light in your closest, and … wait, where was I? LSU covers 22½.
Three LSU players go to class
Arkansas at Old Ms.: Houston Nutt is the first Mississippi coach to lose nine straight conference games. You know a guy has lost it when he can’t even cheat good. Piggies cover 16.
Army at Vanderbilt: The Commodores might want to watch the chop-blocking this week. The other team is armed. Vandy wins but take Army and 10½.
Pros and Ex-Cons
This week from Don King Productions: Mike Smith (red) vs. Jim Schwartz (blue).
Falcons at Lions: I keep having this vision: Brent Grimes staring at the navel of Calvin Johnson at the goal line. But the Lions can’t stop the run. And on the Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots coaching front, I like Mike Smith to take out Jim Schwartz inside of six rounds. Take the 4 but Falcons win this straight up.
Redskins at Panthers: I just saw a picture of Mark Rypien’s daughter, Angela, who plays quarterback in the Lingerie Football League. The Manning tree just slipped to second place. (Did you really want me to debate the merits of John Beck over Rex Grossman?) Carolina covers 2½.
This is Angela Rypien of the Lingerie Football League's Seattle Mist. Sorry, I can't identify No. 13 in green. Like it matters.
Broncos at Dolphins: Tim Tebow lays hands on the 1-4 Broncos. Fortunately, he only faces 0-5 Miami, so this is sort of like asking a faith-healer: Can you mow my lawn? Take Denver straight up and 1½.
Packers at Vikings: The Packers might be the most powerful force since the Romans, although I’m quite sure if Augustus was in Green Bay he’d look around and say, “Wow, I thought Milwaukee was bad.” Packers cover 9.
Chiefs at Raiders: Oakland traded potentially two first-round picks for Carson Palmer, who last year threw 20 interceptions and won four games. He makes his first start in over nine months. If this is craps, the Raiders are trying to the roll the hard eight. But it’s the Chiefs. Raiders cover 4.
•
Toteboard
“Nine gamblers could not feed a single rooster.” — Yugoslav proverb
Last week (slightly cloudy): 8-3 straight up, 6-5 against the line.
Overall (Real. and spectacular): 59-24 straight up; 53-29-1 against the line.
“Sack Schultz” contest: Last week’s local and national winner (cheater) was Dan Lott of Roswell. He went 15-0. I didn’t. Don’t want to talk about it.
By Jeff Schultz
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320 comments Add your comment
dawg poem
October 21st, 2011
12:24 pm
ajc has a problem..with server.
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
12:49 pm
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
11:51 am
@True Dawg Fan
“Financial planning a BS degree??????? hahahahahahahhahahaha wow you take the dumb cake today.”
I wasn’t referring to a Bachelor of Science. I was just trying to get past the filter when I made that “BS” reference. I should have known that it would fly right over your head. Not much altitude there.
No really you meant Bull Sh#t??? wow how dumb are you? I was cleary saying your dumb for thinking that financial planning is a bull sh#t degree, but i guess that flew over your head!
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
12:54 pm
oldfart
So let me get this straight bc i put ppl in their place on here means im stupid and couldnt win in a battle of wits??? Wow I wish I could make ridiculous connections like that.
Stop being mad about me putting you in your place over the suspensions. I stated facts of why the suspension to williams was unreasonable. Why dont you go back and reread the posts some more.
And if dumb people like you wouldnt comment on these blogs I wouldnt have to let you know youre an idiot. Plain and simple, if you dont like it too bad dont really care.
And on here at all hours??? Maybe you should learn to read the time stamps. I am only on here when work is slow and time needs to be passed. Thats the beauty of having your own office, something you have prob never enjoyed!
Banned Poster
October 21st, 2011
12:56 pm
I think I know why Jeff chose Classy Freddie Blassie. He really is a “pencil-neck geek”.
chem
October 21st, 2011
12:57 pm
Schultz is getting all cryptic and passive aggressive because no one agrees with him and he refuses to move on. Reminds me of a teenage girl.
gdawginkalamazoo
October 21st, 2011
12:58 pm
Dawg Tired
October 21st, 2011
11:01 am
I like those uniforms the girls are wearing
You talking about North Carolina?
bamaguy
October 21st, 2011
1:02 pm
That bench clearing brawl between UCLA and Arizona last night makes the little UGA/Vandy incident look pale. All the thugs and rednecks live in the deep south, don’t you know.
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
1:05 pm
oldfart
So bc I come on here and straighten out the morons like you and Veronica that makes me stupid?? Hmmmmm… didnt know you could treat a definition like its in wikipedia and change the meaning.
Glad you know how to copy and paste comments shows a lot of computer skills for you. Unfortunately you dont know how to read time stamps since you think i am on here at all hours. I doubt i have ever posted a comment passed 5:10, you know the end of the business day! Thats the beauty of having your own office, when work is slow you get to fill it with nerd bashing.
If ppl like you and veronica didnt come on here and say dumb things I wouldnt point it out. But you do, so I do. And if you cant handle the reasons for why Williams and Geathers suspensions are BS ( Veronica- that stands for Bull Sh#t) then you should go elsewhere. Its only the UGA haters saying that they were justified. But no one can say why Fairley and Scam didnt get suspended for the exact same things. Scam threw punches at UGA no suspension, Fairley had multiple late hits on Murray to the spine and the knee no suspension.
So until someone can tell me a legitmate reason why those are any different than what Williams and Geathers did, then my comments stand. The only explanation available is that Auburn was undefeated and Silve didnt want to end our NC streak in the SEC. Thats it, nothing else has been provided.
So think what you want about me old timer, your opinion means as much as sChultz’s does, 0!
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
1:08 pm
chem
October 21st, 2011
12:57 pm
Schultz is getting all cryptic and passive aggressive because no one agrees with him and he refuses to move on. Reminds me of a teenage girl.
Couldnt agree more Chem. sChultz is an absolute moron. And equally as dumb and uniformed is Bradley. Both are cowards who cant justify their reasonings. Also neither knows how to be unbiased and tell two sides of a story.
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
1:58 pm
I think you’re (not your) right about the 12 year old thing oldfart. I know you’re right regarding a battle of wits with this hapless troll.
ejj
October 21st, 2011
2:12 pm
I am a falcon fan, but if we are talking money, I’ll take Lions at home.
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
2:57 pm
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
1:58 pm
I think you’re (not your) right about the 12 year old thing oldfart. I know you’re right regarding a battle of wits with this hapless troll.
Wow way to go, arent you just the little spell checker. However when thats all you have to insult someone with, then you have already lost. But continue to think you are smart and blah blah blah. You probably went to a community college based on your comments so far.
As for me being a troll- You are the one who attacked me so if you dont like it then dont post something about me and you wont get put in your place.
Simeon Rice N Gravy
October 21st, 2011
3:11 pm
Anyone else thinks Heffie looks like Kermit the Frog?
Sarah P
October 21st, 2011
3:27 pm
yes jeff…you crotchety ol’ left winger…every great story does start with “Alaskan moose hunter”!
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
3:40 pm
@True Dawg Fan
“that’s”
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=proper+use+of+the+apostrophe
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
3:41 pm
BTW: If I should decide to attack you, then you’ll know it.
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
4:10 pm
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
3:40 pm
@True Dawg Fan
“that’s”
All I have to say to that is you are a moron.
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
3:41 pm
BTW: If I should decide to attack you, then you’ll know it.
ewwwwww im so scared of what little veronica will say to me. Nice try to save face but you have been put in your place already and its time you stay there. Leave sports to the guys and you go bake a cake. Actually make that a Red Velvet cake!
Terry
October 21st, 2011
4:14 pm
Jeff Schultz, I have a couple questions for you, do you own a single shot or semi-automatic weapon, do you hunt or fish, and how many times have you actually had to defend yourself?
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
4:47 pm
Whiskey Breath — For one thing, Houston Nutt is one of the worst offenders of “oversigning” in the nation.
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
4:48 pm
Dawg Po — OK, I’ll make a note of that. “Dawg Po: Not Jon Stewart fan.” Check.
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
4:48 pm
Chem — You lost me.
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
4:49 pm
Sarah P — Hey! What do you doing with all of your free time?
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
4:51 pm
Terry — Owning a gun, owning a gun for self-defense, hunting for sport, hunting for food are all separate issues. They don’t go into one pot.
Charles
October 21st, 2011
5:05 pm
Jeff, have you considered questioning the SEC as to why Geathers was suspended for fighting after Jon Bostic and Courtney Upshaw both received nothing from the league for the same offense?
Mr Charlie
October 21st, 2011
5:08 pm
Jeff, have you ever contemplated a career as and underwear model?
FLpanhandler
October 21st, 2011
5:10 pm
October 29: Florida puts the usual humiliating beatdown on Georgia.
It will be a glorious thing to behold!
Classie Blassie
October 21st, 2011
5:14 pm
Maybe if UGA went back to their Nike clown costumes, they would have more luck.
Tech Man
October 21st, 2011
5:39 pm
Although I’m a Tech man through and through, I’ll have to admit this team is not good at all. In fact I would say they’re the worst 6-1 team in college football. Miami will handle us with ease. Our punting and kicking will be terrible as usual and we will allow runners to run at will. Hopefully, we can prevent it from being a blowout. Prediction. Miami 38-Tech 21.
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
5:46 pm
Jeff,
If you were a tree, would you own a pet dog?
Uhh......I am Tony Gonzalez, Univ. of Cal.?
October 21st, 2011
5:47 pm
Birds lose in Motown, their D-line will stop Turner not a burner, & Calvin will have a field day against the sad secondary, I would love to hike the ball to #11, she can put her hands back there & feel around for 2 more ballz! LOL
The Spirit of UGA VII
October 21st, 2011
6:02 pm
The Big Guy says Schultz is a popular guy in Athens. Just about everybody in that town talks about how much he’d like to meet up with Schultz. My advice is for Schultz to stay away. He’d get loved to death, sort of like a baby chick at Easter.
oldfart
October 21st, 2011
6:31 pm
True Dawg Fan – I will grant that it is a possibility that your keyboard doesn’t have an apostrophe but if you don’t want to continue to give yourself away I would recommend you at least use “you are” or in chat mode “ur”. It’s one of the giveaways that you’re a liar. I gave you the apostrophe thing so we won’t discuss its vs it’s. Since this is a blog the misspellings happen and that is fine but other giveaways are totally missing homonyms and near misses that pass spell checkers. Road instead of rode. Ally instead of alley. Loose instead of lose. I just can’t see those passing muster at UGA even as an athlete in the pre-Jan Kemp era.
The most blatant evidence that you are a liar is the content in your posts. I’m going to paraphrase here because I don’t feel like looking them all up but the content you have spewed over the last couple of days consists of:
Grantham is a hero for having his kid’s back.
That same kid is an angel who deserves no punishment whatsoever.
That same kid did not rile up the bad man Franklin while being an ingrate after the gun.
Geathers wasn’t responsible for kidney punching an opponent while said opponent was prone and face down to the ground.
Said opponent deserves much more punishment as his play was more dirty even if Geathers’ punch was well after the whistle.
Franklin is a _______ too many to recount.
Athens is a football town and Adams needs to have his house burned down if he doesn’t get the message that UGA is all about football.
I have a real BS in Biology from UGA from many years ago and to throw a twist in your knickers a real MS from Tech. I paid in full for one daughter to go through UGA and supplemented the Hope on another. I’ve traded barbs with both sides with glee at sporting events and even with Grizzard and Hudspeth in Harrison’s on Peachtree. I’ve posted on the internet before it was called the internet and seen your like many times.
I remember when you received 15 yards for a personal foul in the college game for merely uttering a simple Anglo-Saxon vulgarity much less an actual God’s-name-in-vain curse. Taunting? Fuggitaboutit. Getting caught throwing a punch, eye gouge, club elbow were also 15 yards plus ejection. Truth be told in the Vandy game Georgia would be lucky if those rules were still upheld in that fashion. Geathers would be available to play Florida for the entire game and Williams wouldn’t have been on the field to embarrass his University, coach and himself after the gun. Therefore Grantham wouldn’t have felt it necessary to embarrass his current employers and himself. I also hearken back to a day when football coaches wore ties and in the college game I’ve seen a couple of instances where a coach had the gumption to sit down a player for a transgression the referee didn’t even see. Professional football wasn’t considered a career path due to economics not skill set.
The problem that the University has had for many years is that every Tom, Dick and Harry in the state has identified themselves with the football team. The school administration has often been complicit with the Athletic Department in currying favor with these fringe elements. A huge amount of money is involved. So much that academia has been enhanced from the spillover, but at what cost? Suffering fools that identify themselves with the University because they sometimes buy a ticket or have a red and black truck. Tech never had much of an issue with this as their following consisted of students and their immediate family. Rural Georgia saw Tech as city slickers and worse, even Yankees.
I go through all of this to say that I would ask you to not identify yourself as a graduate of my alma mater and spout such ignorance or, if you will, follow your own succinct advice; “Dont comment it shows how stupid and uninformed you are”. Though I don’t suffer fools too well and that is certainly one of my shortcomings I will not continue to argue with one. My daddy, God rest his soul, made it clear what you are when you attempt to argue with a fool.
Paul in NH
October 21st, 2011
6:45 pm
oldfart
October 21st, 2011
6:31 pm
———
Wow! Now that’s what I call a blog post!
Veronica's Ghost
October 21st, 2011
6:47 pm
Bravo!
peppino
October 21st, 2011
7:25 pm
The way the Falcons lose is-NOT MATCH THE LIONS INTENSITY.All the defense has to do is stop Stafford to Calvin Johnson,thats it!Offensively run the football and keep the Lions offense off the field,nothing fancy.The Detroit Lions will play emotional football are the Falcons ready to do the same?
SeriousComments
October 21st, 2011
8:38 pm
Jeff, are you having fu doing these website thingys? I mean, doesn’t it get to you that some people… oops… nvm
SeriousComments
October 21st, 2011
8:44 pm
Jeff. I am asking you to PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DO THIS, AND EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU. i MEAN, ANSWER THE QUESTIONS.
1. Whatdo you do on weekends
2. do u like to ride rollercoasters
3. Do you eat produced chicken fat
ANSWERS BY VARY BY LOCATION, TIME, AND PERSON
PLEASE BECARFULLY WHATB YOU SAY ONLINE
Maria'
October 21st, 2011
8:49 pm
Vale, puedes quedarte a mi lado, siempre que no hables sobre el clima. No esperar lo inesperado no hace que lo inesperado se convierta en lo esperado? La experiencia es algo que no se tiene hasta poco después de que se necesita. Mi bebida se siente sola. ¿Te gustaría acompañarme con la tuya? Pocas mujeres admiten su edad. Pocos hombres actuan acorde a su edad. El amor es como el WI-FI, a medida que te alejas, pierde intensidad. Perdona a tus enemigos … pero recuerda sus nombres!
JokesCentral
October 21st, 2011
8:53 pm
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered.
The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprights the motorcycle and pushed it outside.
Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some papers towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home. After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.
The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.
This story redefines what it is to have a bad day.
This funny joke if from the website: JokesClean.com
Humor and Funny Clean Jokes Gallery
© 1996-2005 by JokesClean.com All Rights Reserved
All credit goes to this website. Thank you
JokesCentral
October 21st, 2011
9:06 pm
“Your friend have 10 apples. You take four. How many did you take?”
a.five
b.I don’t know or care
c.4 out of ten
d.7
HEY, LISTEN UP PEOPLE.
SEE YA PEEPS!!!!!!!
If ya wanna be on jokes central, just email me. I will even be trying to get jokes i make up.
How low can you go, and we ain't talking about limbo!
October 21st, 2011
9:09 pm
Based on all the evidence, it’s obvious that the UGA coaches, including Richt, are as low class as the thugs they coach.
Blind Homer's Odyssey
October 21st, 2011
11:02 pm
In Todd We Trust.
Deputy Dawg
October 21st, 2011
11:12 pm
@oldfart
True Dawg Fan = George P. Burdell
Dawg1
October 22nd, 2011
7:59 am
Russ The Temporary Mascot …. your a coward and not near as funny as you perceive yourself and perhaps with a little racism thrown in.
Pathetic
Terry
October 22nd, 2011
8:24 am
Jeff Schultz, I’ll take that as a no, and everyone who own a weapon, knows you don’t call it a Gun, thats whats in you pants.
Russ_TTM Fan
October 22nd, 2011
8:24 am
GATA Russ!
Make ‘em cry like little girls.
Russ_TTM Fan
October 22nd, 2011
8:25 am
Get a life Terry. It’s not too late.
Terry
October 22nd, 2011
8:36 am
How low can you go, and we ain’t talking about limbo!, Calling someone a low class thug on a blog, you are the classy one, aren’t you.
Terry
October 22nd, 2011
8:43 am
Russ_TTM Fan, Your on a blog, telling someone you don’t even know, to get a life, thats rich, next time I want your thoughs, I’ll be sure to ask you, I know you feel left out, Old wise one! LOL
Russ_TTM Fan
October 22nd, 2011
8:44 am
Don’t worry about me Terry. Not only do I have a nice gun collection, I also have a life.