Fight predictions: Falcons win, Jackets fall, SEC cowers
What is going on with all of this violence lately? Coaches going after coaches. Coaches going after players who went after coaches. One player even punched another right in the soft part of his zone defense.
A man can’t even go hunting any more without the whole animal kingdom getting upset about it. True story: Some Alaskan moose hunter — and doesn’t every great story start that way? — went out the other day with his musket, hoping to blow off the head of one of nature’s, unarmed creatures, who were just sitting around playing gin-rummy.
Anyway, this guy gets attacked by a grizzly bear, because unbeknownst to the hunter, the Moose, the Grizzlies and the Deer (Wake Forest) have all formed some super alliance and soon plan to announce a conference championship game and a mega-TV deal with ESPN. (That part, I might’ve made up.).
Anyway, the hunter ends up escaping, and I think the grizzly’s head is now on somebody’s wall, and the moral of the story is that the guy with the musket usually wins and the SEC will never admonish him for being an idiot because it’s easier to look tough when you pick on the kid because he’s going to be off campus soon anyway. (See how I did that?)
So the SEC suspends Georgia and Vanderbilt players, but not even a reprimand for the coaches. The conference hasn’t been this whipped since it was taking orders from Urban Meyer.
Meanwhile, on to the less violent ACC. Georgia Tech plays Miami. The Hurricanes will be without defensive tackle Micanor Regis, who last week punched a North Carolina player, Dwight Jones, in the groin. Miami suspended him for “violation of team rules,” which should cover most felonies, post-Jimmy Johnson.
The Jackets have their own issues. The offense produced two touchdowns against Virginia. That’s like a punch to the groin for Paul Johnson. The defense has given up 520 yards rushing in the last two games. On second thought, maybe Johnson should punch Al Groh in the groin.
Tech suddenly has too many warning signs. Also, Miami hasn’t been a garden spot for them. Jackets lose. Canes cover 3.
Mr. Blutarsky: Zero. Point. Zero.
"Classy" Freddie Blassie has a plan for Florida.
Todd Grantham: Off this week. Studying the poetry of Freddie Blassie to prepare for the Florida game.
South Alabama at Georgia State: The Panthers have lost five straight. The problem isn’t Bill Curry’s coaching. The problem is, at the age of 69, he can tackle better than some of his players. No line: State wins.
Tennessee at Alabama: Nick Saban responded to questions about conference expansion and the Heisman race with something from Bartletts’ Quotations: “I could give a s— about all that, excuse my French.” Why do we blame the French every time we swear? And hey, if Saban thinks he has problems, Derek Dooley can look at Tennessee game film and give you an entire dissertation in French. Tide covers 29.
North Carolina at Clemson: Dwight Jones will sing the national anthem. Clemson covers 10½.
Auburn at LSU: Three LSU players have been suspended, reportedly for “synthetic” marijuana, which further magnifies the tragedy of today’s youth because they don’t know the first thing about planting seeds, putting a grow light in your closest, and … wait, where was I? LSU covers 22½.
Three LSU players go to class
Arkansas at Old Ms.: Houston Nutt is the first Mississippi coach to lose nine straight conference games. You know a guy has lost it when he can’t even cheat good. Piggies cover 16.
Army at Vanderbilt: The Commodores might want to watch the chop-blocking this week. The other team is armed. Vandy wins but take Army and 10½.
Pros and Ex-Cons
This week from Don King Productions: Mike Smith (red) vs. Jim Schwartz (blue).
Falcons at Lions: I keep having this vision: Brent Grimes staring at the navel of Calvin Johnson at the goal line. But the Lions can’t stop the run. And on the Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots coaching front, I like Mike Smith to take out Jim Schwartz inside of six rounds. Take the 4 but Falcons win this straight up.
Redskins at Panthers: I just saw a picture of Mark Rypien’s daughter, Angela, who plays quarterback in the Lingerie Football League. The Manning tree just slipped to second place. (Did you really want me to debate the merits of John Beck over Rex Grossman?) Carolina covers 2½.
This is Angela Rypien of the Lingerie Football League's Seattle Mist. Sorry, I can't identify No. 13 in green. Like it matters.
Broncos at Dolphins: Tim Tebow lays hands on the 1-4 Broncos. Fortunately, he only faces 0-5 Miami, so this is sort of like asking a faith-healer: Can you mow my lawn? Take Denver straight up and 1½.
Packers at Vikings: The Packers might be the most powerful force since the Romans, although I’m quite sure if Augustus was in Green Bay he’d look around and say, “Wow, I thought Milwaukee was bad.” Packers cover 9.
Chiefs at Raiders: Oakland traded potentially two first-round picks for Carson Palmer, who last year threw 20 interceptions and won four games. He makes his first start in over nine months. If this is craps, the Raiders are trying to the roll the hard eight. But it’s the Chiefs. Raiders cover 4.
•
Toteboard
“Nine gamblers could not feed a single rooster.” — Yugoslav proverb
Last week (slightly cloudy): 8-3 straight up, 6-5 against the line.
Overall (Real. and spectacular): 59-24 straight up; 53-29-1 against the line.
“Sack Schultz” contest: Last week’s local and national winner (cheater) was Dan Lott of Roswell. He went 15-0. I didn’t. Don’t want to talk about it.
By Jeff Schultz
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320 comments Add your comment
Mr. Phoenix
October 21st, 2011
7:59 am
Freddie Blassie lived down the street from my family when I was a kid in S.W. Atlanta. He was a cantankerous ahole who would come out of his house and hollar at us when we played in the street in front of his house. He would scare the H-ll out of us.
GT wins this one in a big way. Defence will rise up, 2 picks and lots of pressure on Harris.
Adam
October 21st, 2011
7:59 am
Best line of the article……
“Dwight Jones will sing the national anthem.”
Still laughing about that one.
Dap01
October 21st, 2011
8:15 am
It’s a great column except the ongoing attempts at UGA bashing. Why? There is more to sports than the constant hatred.
But I do understand that you want to keep the 32,000 fans of Tech happy.
OLD dawg
October 21st, 2011
8:25 am
Hurricanes 34.. GT.. 28
Destin Dawg
October 21st, 2011
8:27 am
No 32000 GT fans… that’s total attendence,,,, about 60/40 Techies ???
Verlaine
October 21st, 2011
8:32 am
Florida 27, Georgia 17
Gonna be a looooooong drive home for the dawgtards!
DawgInaTruck
October 21st, 2011
8:32 am
@ Clinch Panther:
“What if the ajc fined you every time you said something dumb. You would be bankrupt by now.”
200 some odd comments in, that post is still the best on the blog.
Get that fleabitten Russ away from me before he and Israel Troupe start urinating
October 21st, 2011
8:35 am
Georgia Tech has the nation’s highest average SAT score for football players, and also the highest average high school GPA.
UGA, on the other hand, had one of the very lowest SAT averages, as well as a very low GPA average. As a result, three-fourths of UGA players are “special admits,” when means that they can not meet the minimum educational and intelligence requirements for admission to UGA, even as low as that is.
Yes, it would be great if Tech was more competitive with UGA, but most Tech fans are proud of our heritage of having intelligent, responsible athletes who go on to rewarding careers and contribute to society.
Contrast this with the very unintelligent t-h-u-g-s that UGA recruits. The 45 arrests over the last four years is proof enough, not to mention winning the Fulmer Cup. Most of these goons are tossed out after their eligibility is over, and many end up on welfare.
UGA is clearly just a football f-a-c-t-o-r-y dedicated to winning at all costs, and most UGA fans are okay with this, with no concern about the embarrassment this brings to the State of Georgia.
Mark Richt is the architect of this situation. With his $3.5 million salary, he will continue to recruit the illiterate brain-dead t-h-u-g-s who he thinks will win. Unfortunately for UGA fans, he’s not remotely in the same league with the top coaches in the SEC.
So the bottom line is that Georgia Tech – win or lose – does so with honor and integrity, while the lowlife gangbangers in Athens continue to embarrass us all.
JSH
October 21st, 2011
8:41 am
That’s about the craziest most unintelligent post out of all of these.
Michael M.
October 21st, 2011
8:44 am
The Lingerie football league is nothing but a booty call…………lol…and all the guys out there with wives like me better watch something else anyhow cause the female is gonna bop you on your head if she catches you watching that porn league ha ! ha !
Falcons at Detroit…………..if they play like last week, then they escape with the victory……if they go back to the sloppy play then it will be a terrible day in the Lions Den !
DawginLex
October 21st, 2011
8:44 am
Someone talking about panties being in a wad in the same blog where we are discussing the lingerie football league has WAY too many one liners available……………………
DawginLex
October 21st, 2011
8:47 am
Get that fleabitten Russ away from me before he and Israel Troupe start urinating
**************************************
the only embarrassment is you:
To Your Family-Your Dad wishes he had worn a condom
To Ga Tech-None of the fanbase claims you as one of your won
To Society-Everyone is tired of having to support your sorry a$$
DawginLex
October 21st, 2011
8:47 am
own not won
Dang spellchecker
Scratch
October 21st, 2011
8:48 am
#13 is Ashley Lamal of the Green Bay Chill….Google is your friend.
LHarding Dawg
October 21st, 2011
8:50 am
Thanks Scratch, I could hardley sleep last night wondering who #13 was.
Bobo is Not the Problem
October 21st, 2011
8:55 am
Sheeiiitteee, we need more coverage of the Lingerie Football League!!!
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
9:00 am
Paul in NH — I dunno. New Zealand is looking a little shaky on the backline, and France serves a better lunch.
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
9:01 am
Peter — “Jeff sure likes them liberal actors.” <<<< I think “liberal actors” is a redundancy.
randyw
October 21st, 2011
9:17 am
I believe it was Daniel Simpson Day who had the “zero point zero” grade point average. “All incompletge”.
randyw
October 21st, 2011
9:17 am
Sorry, “incomplete”.
UGA 11
October 21st, 2011
9:18 am
I come here only to see Schultz mercilessly mock all of you. Awesome.
And for the columns, of course, Jeff. After all I’ve got to know what *not* to pick for my weekly Sack Schultz picks…
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
9:18 am
PDawg — I was expecting public reprimands for Todd Grantham and James Franklin, something along the lines of a statement from Mike Slive about college coaches needing to set a better example for the youth. I’ve never written either should be suspended or fined. I emailed a spokesperson for the SEC, Charles Bloom, asking about the fact that coaches were not referenced in the statement about the players suspensions, which was surprising to a lot more folks than just me.
As for “implying” something, you should know me better than that. I don’t write between the lines. If I think somebody should be suspended, I’ll write somebody should be suspended.
UGA 11
October 21st, 2011
9:19 am
Uh oh… am I about to become the mocked?
Have mercy Jeff…
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
9:20 am
Larry — Thanks. Falcons have that potential. But this game is extremely key.
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
9:28 am
bitter red panties
October 20th, 2011
10:46 pm
jeff try the red-panties
I love how people always bring up the Red Panties. but unfortunately for those same people that it was the best thing to happen to us. NO ONE wanted him as the AD especially bc they pushed out Dooley for the affirmative action boy. But continue to bring it up and act like it offends any UGA fan here hahahaha.
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
9:32 am
and to Mark S. – Graduated with a BA in Financial Planning from UGA, but thanks for your concern moron. In fact my brother who also graduated from UGA with same degree, we both have 2 little nerds from yeck that work for us. hahahahaha so much for yalls dumb boss joke now!
Murphy
October 21st, 2011
9:34 am
I spit out my breakfast after reading the Aubarn/LSU piece of this article!! Fast Times at Ridgemont High-Schultz that was classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
9:34 am
PDawg- He is too much of a coward to cover both sides of the story. He would rather do half his job and pisss us off to get more hits, than actually be a journalists and report both sides. Too bad he doesnt get half the pay as well.
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
9:40 am
@True Dawg Fan
If there really is “another side to the story”, then you’re free to explain it in detail, rather than whining about the author’s opinion.
I would have guessed that you had a BS degree.
Kool Aid
October 21st, 2011
9:46 am
UGA’s Mark Richt sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to football recruit
12:01 am October 21, 2011, by Michael Carvell
is the recruit 6 yeasrs old? I D I O T in inbredville
Martha Stewart
October 21st, 2011
9:48 am
What? He didn’t bake a cake?
For shame.
Jeff Schultz
October 21st, 2011
9:56 am
UGA ‘11 — I’m dropping like a rock in Sack Schultz standings — not that I’m eligible for Hawaii trip anyway.
gdawginkalamazoo
October 21st, 2011
9:57 am
Will Muschamp speaks French fluently.
I hope Todd Grantham gets in that supply of “Great Kabooki” green smoke before next week. A little of that in the face of Rainey and Dempsey should go a long way toward victory.
gdawginkalamazoo
October 21st, 2011
10:04 am
Jeff, Slive didn’t reprimand the coaches because then he would have had to go after Muschamp for cussing out the officials in the Auburn game. He would have had to review that film, and all the other SEC games in order to find other offenders to make this a fair “Reprimand Weekend”.
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
10:04 am
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
9:40 am
@True Dawg Fan
If there really is “another side to the story”, then you’re free to explain it in detail, rather than whining about the author’s opinion.
I would have guessed that you had a BS degree.
Financial planning a BS degree??????? hahahahahahahhahahaha wow you take the dumb cake today. You clearly not a nerd from tech, prob just some bored house wife with nothing better to do.
By the way Financial Planning is one of the hardest undergrad degrees offered you dolt. Plus go look up the national stats for taking the Certified Financial Planner test. One of the highest fail rates for professional designation tests, (since youre not too bright that means its hard). And thanks to my great education at UGA I passed on the first try, which is more like a 20% pass rate for first timers. Please get a clue before you post, it will save yourself some embarrassment!
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
10:06 am
Kool Aid
October 21st, 2011
9:46 am
UGA’s Mark Richt sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to football recruit
12:01 am October 21, 2011, by Michael Carvell
is the recruit 6 yeasrs old? I D I O T in inbredville
If you had a brain you would have read the article and seen the recruit thought it was awesome. But you dont so…..
True Dawg Fan
October 21st, 2011
10:08 am
And Veronica had you read any of the other articles you would know what we are all talking about. The gutless coward sChultz is the so called journalists so he should be the one doing objective reporting about both sides not just bashing UGA and repoting half the story.
Rammer Jammer
October 21st, 2011
10:36 am
You are by far the worst sports writer in the Southeast.
Whiskey Breath
October 21st, 2011
10:49 am
Why does the media take cheap shots at Houston Nutt? Jeff, if he was cheating more than CMR, his SEC record sure doesn’t show it. Stop going on hear say and show some damn proof. You may get a little more respect. An as far as your picks, one would be a damn fool to use them.
Dawg Tired
October 21st, 2011
11:01 am
I like those uniforms the girls are wearing.
Dawg Tired
October 21st, 2011
11:01 am
Enter your comments here
Dawg Tired
October 21st, 2011
11:02 am
Those unis look a lot better than those things the Dawgs wore against BSU.
oldfart
October 21st, 2011
11:26 am
I’m crestfallen. Pull tabs on panties have already been patented. I’m in on getting a LFL franchise in Atlanta. The Spirit group were imbeciles not to have gone for one themselves. I would propose the name be the Thrashers too. Now give me a minute, I know it was a lame name for a men’s hockey team but I’m not naming them for the state bird, but for the more elusive Split Tailed Bed Thrasher. I also nominate #13 as the first pick in the expansion draft.
Bill Payer
October 21st, 2011
11:43 am
Lingerie football teams are so bogus. Couldn’t even beat Vandy!
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
11:51 am
@True Dawg Fan
“Financial planning a BS degree??????? hahahahahahahhahahaha wow you take the dumb cake today.”
I wasn’t referring to a Bachelor of Science. I was just trying to get past the filter when I made that “BS” reference. I should have known that it would fly right over your head. Not much altitude there.
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
11:53 am
@True Dawg Fan
Schultz is not a reporter. He’s an opinion columnist.
Are you sure you’re not a DA?
Veronica
October 21st, 2011
11:53 am
Hint: I didn’t mean District Attorney.
dawg po
October 21st, 2011
12:02 pm
Jeff your remarks about Jon Steward and his “Classic 9 mins on Gaddafi” was nothing to chuckle at. It was sick and his filthy mouth didn’t make me laugh. I just lost a lot of respect for you and you opinions.
You do better with just sports.
oldfart
October 21st, 2011
12:13 pm
Actually I’m calling BS on True Dawg Fan. Some of his brilliant insights and retorts from just the last couple of days:
Almost as short as the school bus sChultz rides to work and events.
Hey Retard whats the overall record?????? Yea thats what I thought. Idiot.
So once again all you ignorant retards should think before you post.
Dont comment it shows how stupid and uninformed you are
Go watch womens bball you fairy
If you cant handle it then find a different sport to watch, maybe rythmic ribbon dancing is more up your ally.
SEC is investigating the game not just grantham u retard.
Im guessing your more of a south Fulton retard!
And the coup de grâce:
No he wont be fired if something happens again. Bc if he does we will burn adams house down. President Adams is the most hated person on campus. How do oyu not know that. Everyone hates him, he hates sports and if he had his way he would do away with them. Athens is a football town and Adams need to move along somewhere else where he is wanted. NO ONE wants him at UGA. And anyone who does isnt a sports fan.
At first I was thinking 12 year old but he’s on here at all hours so now I’m thinking I need to pull my punches out of mercy. In a battle of wits he is unarmed.
dawg poem
October 21st, 2011
12:22 pm
Duplicate comments detected; it looks as though you’ve alrady said that!
If where the he!! did comment go..it was never posted and it was clean.