Take cover: Harvey Updyke (we think) is on Twitter (UPDATED)
Harvey: Is this really you?
(UPDATE: Guess what? I received a Tweet from @bbupdyke, who claims to be Bear Updyke, son of Harvey. He says this account is legit, so I guess we can believe him, assuming he’s legit.)
♦
Reaffirming once again that there are no minimal requirements — intellectual or otherwise — to enter the world of social networking, say hello to one of the newest individuals with a Twitter account: Harvey Updyke Jr.
It’s true. We think. Via this alert from Friends of the Program, you can now follow the pearls of the alleged poisoner of Auburn’s oak trees at @HAUpdykeJR.
We can’t verify it’s actually Updyke’s account — and, sorry, but I don’t have a phone number for the last car Updyke was sleeping in. But the fact the photo on the account (left) is not the same arrest photo all over the Internet, and the comments don’t seem satirical, give it a degree of believability over the fake accounts (see below).
First, let me try some test Tweets, all under 140 characters.
Just poisoned the trees at Toomer’s Corner. LOL. Follow me!
Only 2000 more followers before I catch Chizik! Hah! Roll Damn Tide!
If Saban ain’t oversigning, he ain’t tryin’! Take that wimps!
I loves me a six-pack of PBR and a bowl of paint chips!
OK, back to reality. Updyke’s Twitter account was opened on May 23. The first Tweet: “I will try this twitter thing.” The profile on @HAUpdykeJR reads:: “Retired Texas State Trooper, Alleged Toomer Tree Poisoner.”
Samples of his Tweets include:
– May 23: i HAVE LOST 22LB. SINCE THE TOOMER TREES THING.
– May 28: My tombstone will read “I told you I was sick”.
– June 4: I know I will not get a fair trial in Lee co. Hell I will not get a fair [sic.] in alabama.
– June 7: I will have surgery on my neck after I find out when Im going to trial.
– June 7: Hey dip[bleep] I have not killed anything yet.
So far, fairly tame stuff. So it’s up to each one of you to bait him into something better.
I sent him a Tweet but so far no response.
For what it’s worth, there are more entertaining fake Harvey Updyke Twitter sites out there. From @GetUpdyked: “Taking an arbor appreciation class today.” From @Harvey_Updyke: (Profile) YeeHaw I likes to raze hell and I hate me sum tigers like you woodent beleeve an i ‘came famose when I keeled them trees.
Do you have a Tweet for Harvey? Let’s hear them below. And you are entitled to go over 140 characters.
By Jeff Schultz
♦
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82 comments Add your comment
again, not last
June 10th, 2011
1:09 pm
Suprised he is smart enough to use the technology
Ben
June 10th, 2011
1:12 pm
first?
Benjamin
June 10th, 2011
1:13 pm
Call me a softie, but I feel bad for the guy.
82Dawg
June 10th, 2011
1:24 pm
Sounds like all of the other Bama fans I know…..
Bob Rathbun
June 10th, 2011
1:26 pm
Benjamin, how bout we just call you a tool?
Bill Murray
June 10th, 2011
1:27 pm
Lee Harvey, you are a madman.
When you spiked that ground, and you tried to kill that tree…
I want to party with you, cowboy.
GTT
June 10th, 2011
1:30 pm
That was John Winger.
LOL
June 10th, 2011
1:33 pm
Pretty sure this guy is Tide Roll. Just an FYI.
Joyce Kilmer
June 10th, 2011
1:33 pm
The trees are still alive Harvey…go back and finish the job!!!
Big
June 10th, 2011
1:35 pm
Who gives a crap. Why don’t you write about uggla and heywards pathetic performance.
VOLinATL
June 10th, 2011
1:36 pm
Quoting another famous Bama guy: “Stupid is as stupid does”.
Richt`s Hammer
June 10th, 2011
1:37 pm
I believe he has been poisoning our UGA`s Also. Bad Man.
King Saban
June 10th, 2011
1:41 pm
Takes a mighty big man to pick on a nutcase like Updyke.
VOLinATL,
Soooooo Kiffin and Pear, 2 disgraced former UT coaches are meeting with the NCAA infractions committee today regarding 12 major violations. Don’t worry though. Your UT program should recover in about 10-15 years.
Clark Griswold's Father-in-law
June 10th, 2011
1:50 pm
It was an ugly tree anyway.
Chi Town
June 10th, 2011
1:53 pm
Nothing better to write about, Schultz?
What about Saban oversigning, again?
Can’t we find some new topics besides your hard on for the University of Alabama?
BiggdawgK
June 10th, 2011
1:59 pm
what the
Hankie Aron
June 10th, 2011
2:01 pm
Throwing hate really doesn’t get you anywhere King Saban. It would be nice if you would contribute some intelligent or at least funny comments of which yours are neither. And from a Dog fan no less.
Hankie Aron
June 10th, 2011
2:03 pm
Same for you Richt’s hammer, dont’ know which team you root for but they should have a problem with your love affair with Richt.You are a sad individual, may God has mercy on your soul because the rest of us have none.
Ted M
June 10th, 2011
2:05 pm
Jeff is Uggla starting tonight?
Chi Town
June 10th, 2011
2:14 pm
Schultz,
Do you think your cute and funny with this story? It sucks. Get some new material and quit being such a douche bag.
Bob Rathbun
June 10th, 2011
2:17 pm
Good Lord Hankie Aron……is there a cloud following you where ever you go?
JSS
June 10th, 2011
2:34 pm
If BugKiller and Larry can blog, then that danger to forestry can Twitter!
Chi Town
June 10th, 2011
2:39 pm
Yawwwwwwn.
What ya think, Schultz?
Great job today on this article. Really informative stuff. Does your alma mater GA Perimeter really teach this type of journalism?
You should go home tonight feeling that you have really contributed to the ajc and society today.
Bob Rathbun
June 10th, 2011
2:42 pm
We get it Chi Town……
BAMA STAN
June 10th, 2011
2:46 pm
13 National Titles – 22 SEC Titles!!!
We all have our sidewalk alumi – which are usually great supporters and a bunch of characters – but this guy is a gutter alumni. Wish he was Tennessee fan! Nope – would not wish that on the mighty Vols.
Hey, congrats again to Auburn – they beat us fair and square – and won a National Title for themselves and for the SEC.
Now, let’s focus on 2012 – kickoff in 12 weeks!
ROLLLLLLLLLLLLL TIDE!!!!
UGA Insider
June 10th, 2011
2:48 pm
Shultz… another day, another “nothingness” blog. Now get serious and go do some investigative journalism…. drive to Montgomery and cover the Milton McGregor trial and give us the dirty details of mass corruption with Auburn Board Members, Trustees and Administrator’s.. Don’t be scared, those power brokers can’t hurt you now.
Chi Town
June 10th, 2011
2:48 pm
Thanks, Bob.
Glad to know I have your approval.
Chi Town
June 10th, 2011
2:51 pm
Agree, UGA Insider.
Schultz combs twitter looking for stories from other people and brings nothing to the table besides his cool glasses in his bio pic.
I have an idea, Schultz. What about a story on Propecia and how it works and if it works at all. You could probably use some.
Sonny Clusters
June 10th, 2011
2:57 pm
Can he play second base and hit more than .170? Has anybody asked Chipper what he, uh, thinks? Will they still have Heyward Bobblehead Night as scheduled on June 15? Are they really going to go through with Uggla Bobblehead Night in August? How many bobbleheads will it take to cover the field? We was wondering.
GeoffDawg
June 10th, 2011
3:10 pm
Two hours later and only 30 comments. Old Harvey just doesn’t move the meter like he used to.
Chi Town
June 10th, 2011
3:14 pm
GeoffDawg ,
No, he doesnt. Seem everyone has moved on from this topic excluding Schultz AKA the father from Pet Semetary 2.
Larry
June 10th, 2011
3:19 pm
Jeff,
Please be careful not to offend some of your readers who are related to Harvey!
Remember Billy Redden, the inbred banjo player in “Deliverance?” Well, he and Harvey mated and the result was “JSS” who commented above. You wouldn’t want to alienate your most famous reader who still sucks his thumb (or anyone else’s who gets too close to him) at an advance age.
Bryan G.
June 10th, 2011
3:31 pm
Did he poison Dan Uggla?
Bob Rathbun
June 10th, 2011
3:34 pm
Hey no problem Chi Town!! Can you gives us another line about how Shultz’s stories?
NoGaGator
June 10th, 2011
3:34 pm
Jeff-
Must be really slow in the sports news biz.
Clever try at trying to see if the delusional fringe responds en masse to this blather.
Time to clean it up and post something more compelling, more newsworthy. Maybe something on McGregor at Victoryland.
I’ve always thought of you as one of the more better and irreverent scribes out there.
Don’t dissapoint us. Otherwise you’ll be consigned to the Barnhart hack heap.
Up the dyke
June 10th, 2011
3:37 pm
Actually, Updyke perfectly fits the profile of a typical UGAy fan, i.e., a stupid, illiterate redneck.
JSS
June 10th, 2011
3:49 pm
Wrong again Bedford Forrest (Larry), my father was named Edward and my Mother is named Doris… And in your 3 year old sanctuary disguised as a mind; that was as good as you could come up with, a mating crack? There must have been some leftover radiator fluid in the still yesterday? Careful there Bilbo, you’re neck is starting to get scarlet again!
Heath
June 10th, 2011
3:50 pm
‘Know why we don’t marry virgins in Bama? If she ain’t good enough for her family, she ain’t good enough for our’n. Roll Tide!’
schmeckdawg
June 10th, 2011
3:55 pm
That idiot needs to keep his mouth OR FINGERS quiet, or he may be enjoying his stay at The Gray Bar Hilton!!!!!!!!!
schmeckdawg
June 10th, 2011
3:56 pm
The reason they don’t marry virgins at Alabama is because there isn’t one!
Bwahahahahaahahahahahahahaha!
schmeckdawg
June 10th, 2011
3:59 pm
At this point, I don’t think that Dan Uggla could play for my 12 year olds nephews all star team!
Peace and hair grease!!!
Chi Town
June 10th, 2011
4:00 pm
Bob Rathbun ,
Pretty sure I’m done for the day. If I think of anything else I’ll be sure to let you know.
Also, how long have you and Jeff been dating? Just curious.
Have a good weekend!
you bama boys
June 10th, 2011
4:17 pm
coming from an auburn man, I feel really sorry for him. Growing up in alabama, I have been immersed in the iron bowl culture. I understand that HUjr represents the fringe fanbase only and not the true UofA men and women. I feel sorry for the man b/c he will never have a chance to have his life back. While I believe the trees should have been treasured and cherished, just as i do for all old oaks, I don’t believe he should be treated like a felon. my $0.02
Beast from the East
June 10th, 2011
4:28 pm
The scary thing is this maniac was patrolling the highways in Texas with a gun and a badge for several decades.
Makes you feel real safe doesn’t it.
Heath
June 10th, 2011
4:53 pm
Having been through Alabama many times, I’d say he fits the profile of their cops.
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Go the other way at a moderate jog, they’ll all pass out when they come for you.
Tokyo jacket
June 10th, 2011
5:08 pm
Probably not the real Updyke…no internet in Alabama yet.
Joyce Kilmer
June 10th, 2011
5:21 pm
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
Larry
June 10th, 2011
5:33 pm
Just Suck Something (JSS),
I can’t believe you’ve kept that nickname you were given after all these years! But then, even more amazing and knowing your genetics, is that out of a millions of sperm cells you were the fastest to the egg. Impressive!
As Sonny would say, we always wondered why JSS was sexually aroused during the Deliverance “love scene” while the rest of us were so shocked and repulsed?
Been awhile…you still squealing?
5150 UOAD
June 10th, 2011
5:46 pm
Harvey Did you put anything in Uga VII or Uga VIII water bowl?
He sounds like a UGA, Auburn, Vols, LSU… Hell any and all SEC teams fans with the exception of Vandy and maybe Kentucky.
5150 UOAD
June 10th, 2011
5:52 pm
They now have a name for what A Murray did last season. It is called “A Magic LeBron”. You know disappearing in the 4th quarter.
Sean Hannity
June 10th, 2011
5:54 pm
“Harvey Updyke, you are a great American my friend”
JSS
June 10th, 2011
6:01 pm
Wrong again Bedford Forrest…
You’re the only one giving sodomy the golden ring as usual… What I can’t understand is your obsession with 6 minutes of cinema on your feeble little mind (and conscience)? Is it the only VHS tape that you have down in the bunker? I know you’ve never had the mental capacity to actually read any of James Dickey’s works. so the rational mind only cringes about how many times you’ve looped that clip trying to gain some enjoyment from such an event… So take the average hour it generally takes you to scroll between the 15 AJC blogs that consume your tiny pee brain everyday and come up with another reference to some 40 year tie to your wish for some piece of perverted power translated through a gang rape to make you feel all “Bedfordee Forrestee!”
5150 UOAD
June 10th, 2011
6:14 pm
shouldn’t that be NATHAN BEDFORD FORREST?
That was a great movie.
I just wish they had Talkie movies back then.
He had a pretty horse to ride though.
Ted Striker
June 10th, 2011
6:17 pm
Striker don’t tweet. Striker is hiding out.
JSS
June 10th, 2011
6:25 pm
@ Poad…
He knows what is meant by Bedford Forrest… A military genius in the saddle; but he was twisted social sadist who never saw a opportunity to denigrate one segment of American society and do it all for personal gain… That kind of sums old Larry’s blogging style too! Feeling all powerful down in the bunker Larry? Are you still all stocked up on YK2 rations?
JSS
June 10th, 2011
6:26 pm
Ted Striker, keeping it real!!!
Delbert D.
June 10th, 2011
6:41 pm
Jeff, this is your weirdest blog of all time, and that’s saying something.
5150 UOAD
June 10th, 2011
6:48 pm
Delbert D.
Nice call. Maybe he is hoping people will post up until Braves game time or something.
"Chef" Tim Dix
June 10th, 2011
6:53 pm
George cut one down, I poisoned one. That makes me the Father of Alabama.
5150 UOAD
June 10th, 2011
7:03 pm
“Chef” Tim Dix
But George didn’t LIE about it.
HAHAH I guess you are right Larry is good enough to be the Father of Alabama.
Larry
June 10th, 2011
7:13 pm
Oh great, now we have Just Suck Something (JSS) and Up on a D_ick (UOAD) teaming up against a heterosexual. I’ve just got to know…when you two hairy backs are rumbling between the sheets who is the giver and who is the taker?
I’d bet the mortgage based on your names that JSS begs to be the taker!
5150 UOAD
June 10th, 2011
7:17 pm
Larry
You seem to have issues. Why would you want to know about somebody else’s sexual habits?
I was referencing “Chef”’s comment and LARRY UPDIKE being the Father of Alabama. I have said nothing about you. Paranoid just a little LARRY?
5150 UOAD
June 10th, 2011
7:18 pm
Sorry it is HARVEY UPDIKE. that was my mistake Larry. I guess I read so many posts with your name in it I was thinking Harvey Updike but typed LARRY by mistake.
JSS
June 10th, 2011
7:27 pm
Ha ha, he (Larry Bedford Forrest) is obsessed with sodomy… That is why he has to narrow everything to power issues fixated on rape-like incidences masquerading as sexual acts! He is so blinded with rage that he refuses to see it! Paraphrasing the great band The Jam: Poor, poor Larry!!!
Oh yeah, when can the Sheriff come and put the contents of your bunker on the street corner? Dude, you just lost your mortgage idiot!
JSS
June 10th, 2011
7:36 pm
And my goodness, I was 1 hour and 12 minutes between less than witty responses by Larry! Was the generator out of fuel again?
bitter harvey up-chuck
June 10th, 2011
7:47 pm
went to pea and cant find me we-we—like all bammer fans—just a littleshort
bitter harvey up-chuck
June 10th, 2011
7:50 pm
the “A” on me hat–sands foo—-as—hol——–AKA —-alabammer–same-same
bitter harvey up-chuck
June 10th, 2011
8:05 pm
i give a new meaning to clear cutting yaaaaw—hahahahahahahahah
Larry
June 10th, 2011
8:07 pm
5150 UOAD,
Please accept my apology for lumping you in with JSS.
Actually I feel much more relieved that he stands alone in his utter, unabashed idiocy and purblind, obtuse imagination..
Best regards,
Larry
JSS
June 10th, 2011
8:30 pm
Larry…
Any man who can’t try to denigrate another blogger without having to pull someones mother, father, or wear their lenient homophobia or desires for ritualistic rape is the one has been put on the ash heap of history…It is toobad for you that you were born 90 years too late to have the opportunity enjoy the dying days of your kind when you could march down Pennsylvania Avenue in broad daylight instead of hiding on an series of AJC blogs… I bet you long for those bygone days, I can see you shedding a tear in the flickering lights of your bunker stirring at E-bay picture of Lillian Gish!
Now go and crank the generator for another half hour so you post again…
JSS
June 10th, 2011
9:23 pm
“staring” that is
KR
June 10th, 2011
9:28 pm
Jeff, if you keep talking about him, he won’t go away.
Personally, I believe he should get exactly as much mercy as was shown to all of the people he stopped, cited and arrested over the years. Since he was recently bragging about making more DUI arrests in one month than most troopers made in a year, he should truly appreciate the need to be sentenced to the fullest extent allowed by law.
BTW, if you’ve heard his inital Finebaum call, you’d know he signed off “Row Dam Tahd…)”
It Ain't Rocket Science
June 11th, 2011
6:12 am
Up The Dyke,
Care to compare degrees if you think UGA fans are so poorly educated. What was your major in school, if you got past the tenth grade. I would wager that the closest you ever got to college is looking at a picture of the front door of one. You, qualify as leading the most worthless comment on a blog for today so far.
gahillbilly
June 11th, 2011
7:43 am
This is funny. Good work Schultz, and pay no mind to these numbnut naysayers.
nd
June 11th, 2011
8:47 am
Enter your comments here
Al Capone
June 11th, 2011
9:26 am
Why wouldn’t he be on twitter? Schultz is.
Coach Grohbo
June 11th, 2011
10:21 am
I don’t understand that the fuss is about this guy.
UGA tailgaters do much more damage to their own campus EVERY GAME.
Homepage | MrSEC.com
June 11th, 2011
10:31 am
[...] Do you have a tweet for [...]
Southern DisComfort
June 11th, 2011
11:17 am
He ruined the treescape scenery at Toomers Corner for 100 years.
jumbeauxtiger
June 11th, 2011
7:04 pm
I enjoy your work Jeff but this is one of the worst columns you’ve ever had.
Stinger2
June 11th, 2011
8:01 pm
Glad I waited a day to read this article.
bolie
June 12th, 2011
8:43 am
What a lame excuse for a column.