Harvey Updyke (Auburn tree poisoner) now living in his car

First…

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OH Pepe why did you do that to me

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I’d move north or west.

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As an LSU fan, I have no love for Auburn, but this scum bag is getting everything he had coming to him. I hope the judge sentences him to the maximum penalty of 10 years…then he will have a place to sleep for a long time!

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living in a van, under the bridge, DOWN BY THE RIVER!!

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Well . . . the idiot brought it on himself! No sympathy here either! I hope he serves some serious time.

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I am thrice divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.

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This guy was safer in jail…His troubles are just beginning….

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War Dead Treegle

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And just how is it that living in a Chevy down by creek makes him any different than about half the population of Southeast Alabama? Heck, he’s movin’ on up!

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Zero sympathy for Al!!! Zero.

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I am not so sure if he ends up in prison there are bound to be a lot of Auburn fans in his cell block.
and yes dog fans will probably be there too

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Bangkapi Ajarn – I am NOT an AL fan but you seem like the typical looney liberal, I thought you would be hugging the tree.

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So I guess it would be ok to poison the hedges in Athens Bangkapi?

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Bangkapi-

Uga can’t seem to stay alive long enough for someone to kick him…………..

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Fleming Island Dawg – same as above. Laws are laws, period.

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I totally agree with an earlier post – this is getting more media coverage than the obesity level or poverty level in Alabama. If all sports fans took just one tenth of what they spend on tailgating alone and put it to a humane cause then all of us would be living in a much better place.

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FIRE SUND!

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All of this over a tree. And I thought the girls from N. Ave were pathetic.

lmao

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this guy has a lot more serious issues than these trees… he likely has the IQ of a stump.

he needs to be institutionalized. in a hospital. for mental reasons.

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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kevin Paul, Rachel Baribeau and ~*Carla*~, Jeff Schultz. Jeff Schultz said: Harvey Updyke (Auburn tree poisoner) now living in his car http://bit.ly/gpswWf [...]

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Hey Romano – quite a few of the players on my team graduated and actually have good jobs.

They’re student-athletes, not athlete-students.

Kind of a different approach to Auburn’s, wouldn’t you say?

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Laws are Laws yes, and you should be fined but seems like you get out quicker for murder or attempted murder than you do for killing dogs or molesting underage girls. And no if he poisoned the hedges I wouldn’t expect him to do time. People here act like you should be locked up for killing a tree while people around the country have no problem with a president who gets advice from losers who have tried to kill people at the Pentagon etc.

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A 130 year old tree surrounded by concrete with morons throwing stuff at it is bound to die anyway. Buy a new tree like you bought a temporary championship..

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He’s been living off a steady diet of Government Cheese.

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Serves him right! Maybe he will drink some creek water and poison himself!

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billybobthornton
February 23rd, 2011
12:39 pm

Serves him right! Maybe he will drink some creek water and poison himself!

Right……because taking a life totally equals killing a tree………idiot.

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I’m pretty sure this guy has camped by a creek way before all this happened. Does ‘limited resources’ mean he’s low on toilet paper or lacks common sense? He is truly the epitome of some the ignorant rednecks that gives SEC football fans a bad name…

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enough about the trees. move on and get a life

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Piss on Auburn and thier stupid tree!

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Boy it is cold out….need to start a fire with some toomer wood…

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Maybe he really went to Wal Mart to star in one of those “people of Wal Mart” videos. He looks like a good fit

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Updike is probably a Bama teacher!

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This idiot deserves whatever comes his way. Maybe he will freeze to death in his car.

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Updike is on the coaching staff of the Tide!

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Maybe if Updike had been smoking trees instead of killing them he wouldn’t be in this situation right now….

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Over / under on “Al” is about 5 days.

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While most of the Auburn family is trying to take the high road here, remember who we are, and not allow the actions of one seriously-disturbed individual taint something we believe in, Mr. Updyke is likely to come up against a few members of the consitutency who are less inclined toward high-road travel, and more like himself in the “Do you think I care?” [about the law] way of thinking. Bless his heart.

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Look at the bright side, you won’t have all those pesky little leaves to get in the way of the toilet paper any more. Can’t we all just get along! “Rodney whatever his name was”

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so who really cares about AUBURN

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Nothing is worse than WHITE TRASH! Sorry but the best thing of Alabama is still I-20!!

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Hope he offs himself and, at least, saves the taxpayers some $$$.

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Word has it he is a Georgia fan.

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Now he knows how African Americans felt for hundreds of years.

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He’s a bama fan, he was probably alreadr living in a car.

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All you folks dissing the state of Alabama . . . you do know it was at one time part of Georgia. If you don’t like the state . . . so be it . . . but running the state down is sorta stupid.

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You know I haven’t rolled a tree since 10th grade. Those Auburn people are sure cute with their high school ways.

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Also he attends Richts prayer sessions and eat doughnuts with Choakdawg.

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Saban, you can’t hide from the fact he is a typical Alabama fan. Don’t try to make him a Georgia fan. Doesn’t work.

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What folks outside of Alabama don’t seem to get is that Updike didn’t just attack a couple of trees, he attacked a symbol very dear to a lot of people’s hearts. But Updike knew what he was doing. He just greatly underestimated the populace’s reaction (Auburn and UAT supporters alike). One has to grow up in Alabama to understand that. Ooops, I guess he didn’t, did he? Bless his heart…

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10 years for killing a tree is even more ridiculous than two years for dogfighting.

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A fitting punishment would be financial restitution to the ‘Barn and about a thousand hours of community service doing landscaping and/or janitorial duties on the ‘Barn’s campus.

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Eff him.

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Enter your comments here

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I have zero sympathy for Updyke. None.

However anyone who would do him or his property harm now is every bit as bad as him.

Put me on record as saying I think he deserves his day in court.

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So UPDyke is UP the creek? Perfect!

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What an inbred fool!! Let’s hope he gets locked up by the cops before some good ole boy takes matters into his own hands. What an absolute idiot!

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People make mistakes, etc. Blah blah blah. This was not a spur of the moment act on the day AU beat Alabama. This was a planned crime that is going to cost a lot of money to fix. Heck, the guy isn’t even from Alabama, didn’t go to any college in the state (did he even attend an institution of higher learning in the SEC?) and had not been goaded into it. No tigers went to Tuscaloosa any of the years the Crimson Tide won the national championship and destroyed one of their beloved symbols. It wasn’t a stealing of the mascot for the big game or draping a statue with confetti. And no, this guy didn’t kill anyone but if he isn’t punished for this maybe next time he will go after one of the players. Is that excusable or defensible too?

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I hear banjo music. It’s coming from the creek.

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AUBURN FANS ARE WANTING TO KILL HARVEY UPDYKE OVER THOSE TREES. CLASSLESS AUBURN FANS. THAT WHY HE HIDING.

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Hey Tre,

It’s Not just over a tree, ‘peabrain’ it’s about a 130 yr. old tradition in college football’s Deep South” surrounded by 130 Yr. old oak trees. Get a clue, stick with your hookers on North Ave.

War Damn Eagle

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You people do know we are talking about Auburn here. Who cares about them or the trees. I say good for this guy. When you cheat to win and treat other fans like crap stuff like this happens. Auburn got what they deserve and now this guy has to pay for it. Be honest a lot of us wish we could have thought of this first.

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If – IF – the trees die they will look exactly the same as they do now for the next 20 years. Auburn fans can still do their stupid rolling of them well into the future.

…but Updyke is an idiot nonetheless…

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All those who are making this out to be more than it really is need to get a life.

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Could this “Harvey” be a reincarnation of another infamous “Lee Harvey”?

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roll damn chevy

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The guy intentionally did something that he knew would really anger thousands of people. It’s hard to feel sorry for him being scared of retaliation. Maybe he should have thought about that before he did it. If he had any brains he would have been long gone from Alabama by now.

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I would say he needs to get out of Dodge, but apparently he’s living in one.

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When you have two rabid neanderthal fan bases in a state where only 3 things occur (Talladega, AL Football and AU Football), what do you expect to happen?

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Why does Tomahawk Holmes lean towards the middle of the state?

Because he is a douche bag of course.

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Safer in prison? There are Auburn fans in prison, too.

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What’s the big deal about living in a car, don’t most people in Alabama live in something with wheels?

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Hello??? Eco-terrorism, anyone? He put enough poison underneath those two trees to kill and entire forest. Poison spreads into the ground. Where do you think drinking water comes from? For you eco-hating money-lovers out there, go price new trees, shrubs, and sod (and labor to replace everything) for a large commercial enterprise, and then maybe you’ll respect that damage was done. Those of us who understand what the attack was really about do not expect the rest of you to understand; we feel sorry for you that you have no rooted traditions to cherish.

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Chuck,

Best comment so far! Funny.

Justin,

Close, but no ciggie…

Worm,

Updyke, the new Roundup.

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I’m going to take him on a missionary trip. That will help him to heal.

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Ha! Can you imagine the UGA reaction if a Tech fan took a cutting torch to the base of that little arch thingy on East Broad one night? “Why, it’s just a piece of metal…at least he didn’t kill anybody.”
Those trees were about more than just football.

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Wonder how Dawg fans would feel if someone burned the hedges, pushed over the bell tower, or hauled off and punted poor UGA. Then perhaps you’d have similar feelings as Auburn fans. It’s bigger than just a moron and some trees. And whether we like it or not, rolling the trees at Toomer’s Corner was an Auburn tradition. It’s not my cup of tea but that’s ok . . . it doesn’t have to be for me to condemn that idiot for what he did. But make no doubt about it. What he did was way over the line of being just a simple prank. The most tragic thing here though is that the yahoo needlessly put his personal safety at risk. It’s probably just a matter of time until someone just as stupid as he is catches up with him and tries to even the score.

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An Auburn fan feels sorry that we have no traditions to cherish. What kind of tradition is littering and probably helping to kill the tree already? You guys are too funny.

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They need to pour poison on this a-holes and let him slowly die like the trees he killed.

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DawginLex
February 23rd, 2011
12:53 pm

This idiot deserves whatever comes his way. Maybe he will freeze to death in his car.

Are you serious? Wow…wishing death upon the man is a little extreme…you seem like the crazy one to me for saying that!

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Get your Harvey Mobiles before they are all gone. If you get down to our lot tonight, we will give you a voucher for 50 gallons of tree killer. This on top of our already reduced, low, low prices. Be the first in your trailer park to own the new Harvey Mobile.

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I’m still not convinced the trees are actually dying. Auburn could be doing this just to garner sympathy and take the attention away from their alleged cheating.

Forgive me for not believing anything coming out of Auburn.

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AllAuburn,

Why would anyone waste their time trying to kill the Ugas? They do a fine job of offing themselves.

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ATTN: Jeff Schultz …….why dont you ever mention the fact that this nut job did not grow up in the state of Alabama, has never seen a classroom in Tuscaloosa, worked in TX majority of his lfe, and has never been a season ticket holder???

Probably bc you’re always trying to put the state of Alabama in a negative light, correct?

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Wow, four pages of comments. Almost as if something major had happened here. Let’s see, what was it again? Something about a prank involving trees? Really? Amazing. First, that he would think to do it. Second, that people would lose all sense about it. Third, frighteningly, that a judge would be so incensed that he would imprison the man with murderers and rapists.

It was stupid and shallow. Let’s move on before people see how many others want to claim the same status.

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this tree thing borders on idolatry-worship the tree by putting toilet paper on it???? really ???-i know there are alot of weird religions in the world but this one ranks right up there-again the whole concept of Auburn (or why someone from the sate of GA would choose to attend) completely mystifies me

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Cecil “Big Daddy” Fielder,

I’m with you. I guess if these trees “miraculously” heal and recover, we’ll have our answer.

Rollie

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IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

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aubie09,

While I agree updyke is an idiot and should be punished, comparing poisoning a tree to poisoning a dog is not a good comparison IMO

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You are a homo

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The Harvey Updyke

1 shot Bud Light
1 shot Milwaukee’s Best
1 shot Mad Dog 20-20
1 shot creek water
1 shot Spike 80DF

Mix in portable toilet. Chill. Then serve.

***NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT EVER ATTEMPT TO MAKE THIS DRINK. BARTENDER BART TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY IF YOU ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO DRINK SPIKE 80DF***

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Auburn players do get to tear up the GA hedges (once every 5 years or so) but we don’t ask that they be put in jail. Its just a hedge just like they are just trees i guess next time my neighbor’s dog kills a patch of my grass using it as a restroom I should shoot the dog or have the neighbor arrested.

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Do you know what a girl from Alabama says while having sexx for the first time????

“get off dad, you are smashing my smokes”

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The economy is in shambles, unemployment is at the highest that it has been in I can’t tell when, gas is expected to creep up to $5.00/gallon due to the unrest in Libya nd regions of the Middle East, Somalian pirates killed 4 Americans and this makes front page news? Well, ALRIGHTY THEN!!!

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It’s a freaking tree

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It’s a shame no one cared for the millions of trees destroyed the last 30 years in the rain forests, Brazil, Amazon area and elsewhere that does have an effect on wind currents, temps, etc. And to think back before toilet paper Auburn fans threw corncobs up in to those same trees… Sad but true…

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Run Harvey, Ruuuuun!!

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If anyone ever doubted that people in the state of Alabama are at the shallow end of the gene pool, all you have to do is read some of these comments. In Alabaman’s minds, this is bigger than Egypt, Iraq and Iran put together. Don’t any of you people realize how very ignorant these comments make ALL of you sound? It just reinforces the Alabaman stereotype..and folks, if you dont realize it, .that is not a good thing.

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Fleming Island,

No one has done more damage to those hedges than UGA fans themselves.

October 7, 2000: Georgia beats Tennessee. This is the first, and last time, the goal posts have been torn down in Sanford Stadium as the students section rushed the field. Unfortunately, the famous hedges were ruined in the process.

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Auburn09 — Cleanup on Aisle 5. Get busy.

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Turd.

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What percentage of either the Auburn of the Alabama fan base do you suppose ever attended, let alone graduate from the university?

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Please tell me he lives in a van down by the river.

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Why are so many of the off-the-deep-end fans of Southern US Public Universities (& their ridiculously glorified sports teams) the ones that never stepped foot on campus to attend a single class??

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At least the trees lived 100+ years. UGA’s inbred morbidly obese dogs are lucky to 4 years.

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Chi Town, whats wrong with being a switch hitter???

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Did he buy posion at Wal Mart while looking at bama’s trophey?

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a recent fabricated home industry survey shows that over 1 million people in Alabama live in a trailer. Their population is only about 4 million. 25% of the population lives in a trailer. Wow.

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Did you realize-

Does that mean they live in the same trailer? ‘Cause that would have to be one heck of a trailer…

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Not sure which is dumber, hundreds of fans TP-ing their own tree after a win (or death of hated football coach) for the school to clean up or the rival who hates it so much he tries to kill the tree. In the end the guy deserves probation at best. People walk for way worse things out of courtrooms everyday. The only way this guy gets a real or fair trial is outside the state. Killing a tree is not a jailable offense no matter how pissy Auburn fans get. Sorry, people run puppy farms and torture animals and walk away all the time. Take the gambling out of it and Vick does not go to jail. Time to let it go. It was a tree. Clearly this guy was being punished by god before he even did this and now his life is even worse. Let the guy plea and send him home.

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besides barkley, doesn’t alabama got two dudes that did alright on American Idol??? the dude with long hair and the dude with premature gray hair….. then I look at this tree poisioner and begin to wonder about everyone’s hair in Alabama. I got pretty hair and didn’t need to be on idol!!!

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For clarification Jeff, that was in reference to how you treat the staff at the radio station.

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DawginLex– how is that any different?! Oh yeah because a dog is alive right? Get over yourself and your school. Were you alive last time UGA won the National Championship?

Ted Striker– why did your sister’s water break because you got her pregnant again? You have no idea what I do so shut up as well. Go land an airplane or something loser.

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Hey steel, crawl over here on your knees. I have something for you.

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I am concered that the Barners will used the money raised by Tide for Toomers to go out and pay the best JUCO tree out there to come to Auburn and stay in the ground for a year. I hear that the fundraising goal is about $180K

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After this guy go’s to prison for a few year’s maybe 3 and released on good behavior there’s nowhere in Alabama he can hide where there aren’t vindictive Auburn fan’s that will make this guy’s life a living hell. I sure hope he doesn’t decide to settle East of Alabama. I have met people like him and they are not quite mentally disturbed enough to be in an institution but it is very uncomfortable being around them even for a little while because they don’t think like an average person and are very unpredictable .Most of these types are weird or a little strange but are totally harmless, thus you accept it because they are better off living as normal a life as possible rather than being locked up and feeding their mental instability. But then every once in awhile one like Updyke crosses the line and society is safer and better off if he was committed because he lost his” benefit of the doubt” to live among the rest of us and we should not be punished for the way he is by having to keep an eye on every thing he does. Everybody that is within seeing distant better be careful. Once you cross the line there are no “TAKE BACK’S”.
I read on one of the new’s channel’s a few years ago that there was a Mobile Home Park somewhere near Tampa, Florida that has over 20 pedophiles living there , maybe they will welcome him.

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Doesn’t everybody in Alabama live in their car?

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http://www2.oanow.com/news/2011/feb/19/search-yields-no-evidence-toomers-rolling-after-br-ar-1484600/

get your facts straight Gary

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Come one people. We’re talking about trees here not people. 1) They don’t feel pain or consciousness so its ridiculous to ‘feel sorry’ for them. 2) They CAN be replaced. For some reason it has to be THESE TREES and no other ones will do. I know they are 130 years old. But nothing lives forever and they have lived long beyond their expected life span already. Just get some new ones and move on.

What Updyke did was sorry and low class. He deserves to pay for the property damage he caused and for the crimes he committed. He did not however physically harm anyone. There is more outrage and screwball threats over these trees than over people, heck CHILDREN being murdered! That is wrong just like what updyke did was wrong.

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David Lamm oin Jacksonville asked callers on his show which was worse what Big Ben did or Michael Vick. 99% said what Vick did. Most said because Vick killed helpless dogs and the girl Big Ben attacked could fend for herself. Liberals are taking over.

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Wow, all of this publicity for a tree? I would hate to see what would have happened to this guy if he had killed a hog…..

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This is what I do not understand about the law and I have been working with it for over 30 years (civilian side). If I guy commits a heinous crime and admits it, why does he need to be defended? What is this attorney going to do? Try and get the guy off? Makes no sense to me.

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Everyone deserves a legal defense.

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I was in Auburn the day Bear Bryant died. Toomer’s Corner was NOT rolled. (I did know some men who went to Tuscaloosa for the purpose of starting a brawl in a local bar, were successful, and barely made it out of town alive…) But there was no tp thrown at Toomer’s Corner.

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AU thinks losing a few trees is bad, they ain’t seen nothing yet until all the mess about their corruption is brought to light.

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“I read on one of the new’s channel’s…”–talented.

Great use of the apostrophe by the way 7576…that UGA education paid off, eh?

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Best comment ever:

“Did you realize…they make trailers nicer than some of these houses in Atlanta..”-Crimson and White

We can all sign off now, it won’t get any better than that…

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Bartender, that was some funny stuff about the trailers no matter who you are……………..

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Aubie09,

I make a statement about comparing a tree dying to a dog dying not being a good comparison and you go all apesheet on me.

Lighten up dude. Yes I was alive the last time UGA won a national title. I graduated UGA in 1983.

I said nothing derogatory about Auburn, you or the tree.

Bit touchy aren’t we?

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I think they ought to plant a new tree at Toomer’s corner and name it “The Harvey Updike Tree.” He hates Auburn so much….it’d be the ulimate hell to have something named after you on your rival’s campus.

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Make him wear orange coveralls and pick up trash (not the co-eds) at Auburn.

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I can’t count how many times people on here have said “He made a dumb mistake he shouldn’t be punihsed so severely” etc.

People like this man did not think like the rest of us. He needs to go to jail for a very long time. WHo the hell thinks stuff like this…”Well dadgummit Auburn won the NC so I think I will go get some highly toxic tree killer, walk around Toomer’s Corner and kill every single 130 year old tree there.” That is insane and this man should be made to drink a 32 oz cup of what he gave the trees. That would be fair. No chasers to clean it out of his system and if he throws up he has to start over.

Next time this dude just might decide to kill a person or animals.

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How can you tell if a Alabama redneck is married?
There’s dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

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A guy from Alabama passed away and left his entire estate to his
beloved widow,

but she can’t touch it ’til she’s 14.

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The governor’s mansion in Alabama burned down!
Yep, nearly took out the whole trailer park.
The library was a total loss, too.
Both books — poof! — up in flames
and he hadn’t even finished coloring one of them

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A new law was recently passed in Alabama:
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.

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You folks that are talking PRISON are out of your mind!! He’s not Dahmer or the woman who cut off the Johnson, just some old-guy who committed Damage to Property. Probably probation(first offense), and community service. Lighten up folks. Tom(retired-cop)

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You might be a redneck if……….You think loading the dishwasher (in your new nice Alabama trailer) means getting your wife drunk

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JustinBeaver@2:49p Does that make Alabama the sister state of Kentucky??

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Group of good ol’ Alabama boys were over here in Georgia
last week, and saw a sign, SUITS $5.00, SHIRTS 2.50
TROUSERS $3.00
Rumor is they went in to purchase a suit, shirt and trousers,
only to learn the store was a laundry.

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Tom -
No, Kentucky is Alabama’s mommy-sister on the daddy-brother’s side.

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Karma’s a %#$^@, ain’t it?

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You see a sign that says “Say No To Crack,” it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

In tough situations you ask yourself, “What would Curly do?”.

your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.

Your idea of a 7 course meal is a possum and a six pack.

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Hope ol’ Big Al don’t wind up in the same cell block
as Louder and MacGregor.

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Justin, if you ever get arrested, just plead Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity! We, on this blog will be your witnesses! Changing the topic just a moment, about the pirates who killed the four Americans, the only Good Pirate is a DEAD Pirate!!!

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Those who post that this is all over “a tree” are sadly missing the point of the anger and the entire reason this fool chose to act out in this manner. The oaks at Toomer’s corner have been a major part of Auburn tradition for decades and part of the landscape for over a century. Absolutely everyone who is still living and has visited Auburn’s campus has seen these trees and many have experienced the celebration held there after an Auburn victory. This idiot wasn’t trying to kill a tree, he was trying to destroy a tradition.

I hate for any human to suffer but I am also in favor of learning from your mistakes. This man has brought shame to his family, shame to Bama fans and shame to the state. Hopefully this experience will change him for the better but from what I have learned of him so far, that is doubtful.

My hope is that we all learn from this. Idiotic acts that go beyond pranks have long-term impact and should be punished. Retribution for idiotic acts must be left to the authorities OR vigilantes should be prepared to be condemned as just another idiot… and serve jail time.

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AUBIEBOY LOVES UGA

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David Letterman’s top 10 things you WILL NOT hear someone from Alabama say.

——————————————————————————–
10. Oh I just couldn’t, she’s only sixteen.
9. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
8. Duct tape won’t fix that.
7. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.
6. Wrestling’s fake.
5. I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
4. I just couldn’t find a thing at Walmart today.
3. Checkmate.
2. She’s too young to be wearing a bikini.
1. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

Bonus….. Nope, no more for me. I’m drivin tonight.

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Good riddance. It is a worthless tradition anyway. Throwing toilet paper into a tree to celebrate? Really? I grew out of that stage when I left middle school. Roll Tide Roll

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OH AND THEN CELEBRATING A MAN’S DEATH AT THAT TREE

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AU grad 87′, uh-oh. What now? How did this guy know the trees were saturated with poison and the exact poison that was used? He won’t be enjoying his retirement unless he likes living by the creek.

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it is really sad. the people who used to be Alabama fans when I was growing up with Bear Bryant as coach, really no longer have a team. they followed/idolized Nick Saban and became the Sabanation and now that he is looking at ‘better options’ they all became Oregon Duck fans. so since this nut-job couldn’t love his team, he put his energy into hating AU.

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AU BETTER USE THE TOILET PAPER FOR WHEN THEY GO ON PROBATION

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Hopefully his car & his home if he has one will get torched he deserves nothing but the worst, Im a Dawg fan but this is ridiculous, this MORON is nothing but trash, throw the book at him hes useless & wasting oxygen!!!!!! He was a state trooper??? Very sad!!! Oh wait its our dad!!!

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Justin Beaver– That’s some funny stuff.

Auburn09 — If I were landing a plane and you were the only other passenger on board I’d consider crashing just to hear you scream on the way down. (Of course i’ve made your wife scream and moan dozens of time in my bed…different reasons).

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I did it once and I’ll do it again if they replant them trees. I’m pretty comfortable living here in by car down by the creek. Roll Damn Tide

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WHAT DO YOU CALL 32 AUBURN CHEERLEADERS IN A ROOM? A FULL SET OF TEETH

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Did you hear that they can’t have any more parties at Auburn?
The guy who knew the recipe for ice graduated.

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DID YOU HEAR ABOUT TOOMER’S TREES? NO WHAT HAPPENED? THEY DIED-LOLOLOL

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How do you get an Auburn student off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza!

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If any Bama fans are nearby-stop by and see me. I’m parked down by Lickskillet Creek, just outside Opalika. You bring the beer. I’m gettin’ kinda lonely out here all by myself. I’ll tell you the whole story, not just what this liberal birdcage liner wants you to read. Roll Damn Tide

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How does an Auburn fan do math? He compares a few trees to a grove and considers that equal.

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What are the longest three years of a AUBURN football player’s life?

Freshman year.

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——————————————————————————–

Join Date:Jan 2002
Location:Hueytown, Alabama, U.S.A.
Posts:822
I think I got this joke from this board last year but it’s funny enough to rehash:

A Tennessee fan, a Georgia fan, an Alabama fan and an Auburn fan we’re hiking up a mountain together and the whole way up they were arguing about who was a more rabid fan for their respective team. When they got to the top the UT fan said “I’ll settle this. I’ll jump off this mountain and fall to my death to show my love for the Vols. So he did, the whole time yelling “Rocky Top!” The UGA fan says “I can do that too.” And he jumps while yelling “Hunker down hairy dawgs!” That leaves that Alabama fan and the Auburn fan. So the Alabama fan looks at the Auburn fan and pushes him off the mountain saying “Fly you stupid war eagle, fly!”

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Me and Andy don’t stand for that tree violence here in Mayberry. When it comes to criminal behavior, we nip it in the bud.

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good stuff Phil, you got anymore for the beav?

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WHAT DID TOOMER’S TREE SAY TO PATERNO? WHO THOUGHT YOUD OUTLIVE ME…BWAHAHAHAHA

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WHAT IS TOOMERS TREE FAVORITE MOVIE? ROOTS BWAHAHAHA

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WHAT DID TOOMER’S TREE SAY TO SCAM NEWTON? HOWD YOU SURVIVE? BWWWHAHAHAHA

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Phil sucks dick. Justin Beaver takes it up the ass.

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only from Usher

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What do you call a beautiful woman in Alabama?? A TOURIST!!!

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MAYBE SCAM CAN SMILE AT THE TREE TO SAVE IT-LOLOLOL

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Tom hasn’t spent much time on the campus of Bama or Auburn.

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WHATS A CHIZIK?

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Phil– Those are some pretty clever “enter whoever you want to make fun” here jokes that you found online. Congrats you can use a computer.

Auburn90’s boss–Again I’m not a garbage collector so your post doesn’t make sense. Wow you are in charge of a bunch of people who pick up trash. Congrats.

Ted Striker- don’t know when I would ever be on a plane as the only passenger so yeah, and I’m not married so can’t really make my wife scream and moan as you claim.

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Yall have some pretty good jokes. I got one for ya

-Who is the greatest Alabama Fan of all time?? A Hint( he poisoned poor Awwwwburn’s Trees)

-Me, Harvey Updike

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ONLY AT AU WOULD FANS GATHER AND CRY OVER A TREE

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LOL @ BEST BUY GUY

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HEY HEARS AN OXYMORON-AUBURNGRAD-BWAHAHAHA

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WHATS A WAR EAGLE? OH YA SOME GHOST INHABITS THESE AWBURN FANS WHEN THEY INVOKE ITS NAME-OH YA AND THEY CRY OVER TREES

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Okay War Eagle, first you use our computer,
and now you are using our radio. See you are
on 750 AM, the radio also has FM.

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THE ECONOMY IS A DRAG-LOL

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WHATS THE NAME OF THE EAGLE? WAR?

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HEY WHEN THAT TREE DIES, i NEED SOME TP

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Ten years for killing a bunch of trees? While what he did was idiotic and infantile because of his rabid obsession as a fan he committed a non-violent crime that doesn’t need any support from the taxpayers. Put him on probation, make he pay for full restitution for the work needed to provide regrowth, and most of all get over it. If any person harms him over this, they’re morons as well. You have to love the mentality of the mob, rather than think for themselves they get crazy over this act. You should be getting crazy over how our government takes advantage of us everyday. Here’s an idea, get together and march up to D.C. and demand change for all politicians. The government can never battle the power of people.

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Please don’t die tree, our Bdog needs it badly to do his business!!

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C’mon folks! Its just two trees. If it ain’t got the “Yella Label”, then……

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FIRST !!!!

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Rolling a tree is the dumbest tradition in sports. But what else is there to do in Aubarn.

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BREAKING NEWS…..An Auburn college student has just been arrested for putting Spike 80df herbicide on 17 trees around Bryant-Denny Stadium in retaliation to the Toomer’s Oaks. Alabama Power Company says the herbicide will not affect the durability of the telephone poles in question!

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NEWS BREAK

Special Tree Murder Task Force headed by Deputy Barney Fife is alleged to have found a glove with tree sap on it. The glove was found behind the tire under Updyke’s doublewide. Technicians at Bubba’s Pulpwooding Co. are analyzing the specimans and will release their results shortly.

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Lets face it. People in Alabama need something to do other than college football.

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I got to go now its been fun. I have a concert to do, going sing and thrust my hips at a bunch of young screaming girls. hell y’all do that in Alabama all the time don’t you?

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a good punishment for harvey would be dress him up in orange camos and a scam newton jersey and make him pick up the toilet paper on toomers corner

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let harvey go on oprah and apologize and bet there are enough bama fans in the state of alabama that would vote this guy into public office

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Harvey, maybe you can show me how to have a real football team. Ours was bought and paid for and we Auburn fans could learn a lot from Bama. I can’t believe I went to a school that has 3 different mascots. I am going to burn my degree because it is so useless

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@Phil the caps lock key is just to the left of the letter ‘A’. When you push it once, all your typing comes out in capital letters (the big ones). When you push it again, it stops doing that and other people can read what you wrote more easily. I suggest you do so. People will still figure out that you’re an idiot, but they might take more than a few seconds to do so.

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Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

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NEWS BREAK

Rumors are surfacing that Harvey Updyke is an innocent fall guy. Technicians from Bubba’s Pulpwooding Co. now theorize that the source of the contaminants are chemicals used in the production of toilet paper. Could overzealous Auburn fans be reponsible for this grisly tree slaying?

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Come on people its just a tree.

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Gay War Eagle

Does that mean that you like girls more than football?

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Fearless Fife

I’m sorry your right they also teach How to lie in a FBI investigation 101

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I’m sorry Terry is that what Scam Newton’s father told Auburn when he asked for the check?

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I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree………

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During next years’ Iron Bowl all Bama fans should have an Auburn fan on their right and left-side. And at halftime they will hold hands and sing Kumbaya. This would bring a tear to the Old Gators’ eyes.. But most of all it would be good for the State of Alabama, College football and yes the Jerry Springer show. Hell, Jerry could MC haftime where a mobile home could be given to on luck Auburn fan.

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Those tree were pronounced as dying in 2007. Just more whining from the barn yard crowd still seeking legitimacy. No telling how many trees have been killed to make all the toilet paper thrown so very contradictory logic but what do you expect from that crap school. When is the wood chooping contest!!!!

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AUBURN FANS MAKING DEATH THREAT TO HARVEY UPDYKE OVER 2 TREES. SICK AUBURN FANS!!!!!

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Tom

I don’t think that is crazy. I am just a normal Dawg Fan. I am married and have three sons. They are named Harry Herschel, Vince Pollock, and Munson. That doesn’t make me crazy. Does IT?

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I think I will name my kids Jan Kemp, Quincy Carter, Jasper Sanks, and Damon Evans.

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Harvey told someone in jail that if a auburn fan wouldnt have put a scam newton jersey on Bear Bryants statue that none of this would have happened!!! It probably didnt help that bama blew the big lead either!!! So the auburn fan is partly to blame!!!!!

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I can’t imagine that anyone would take revenge out on a tree for losing a football game. I mean, we’re talking about TREES as if they had something to do with a football game? Effective peer pressure will not increase his I.Q. He’ll probably go on through life “unencumbered by the thought process.”

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Allyanaz,

UGA fans took revenge on their own hedges for losing nine in a row to Tennessee.

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Smitty,

The UGA fans don’t know what the word sabotage means.

You are wasting keystrokes.

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Fearless Fife, Harry Herschel, Vince Pollock, Munson, and Numb Nuts. See y’all at the tailgate the next time we play in Athens.

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IT’S A TREE people, grow up.

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Rexall – dont worry, Toomers corner will be there. It just will not have the same about of shade. The world will be a better place as not near as many trees will now have to be cut down to supply the TP

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another bible reader

February 23rd, 2011
4:59 pm
Leviticus 1:13 You are to wash the internal organs and the legs with water, and the priest is to bring all of them and burn them on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the LORD.

============================================

King James Bible – Leviticus 1:13 – But he shall wash the inwards and the legs with water: and the priest shall bring [it] all, and burn [it] upon the altar: it [is] a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.

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Sorry AU fans, but before this guy’s trial is over you people are gonna be the bad guys…after all the man lived the better part of 62 years pulling for Alabama and hating Auburn without ever having done something so heinous…but for some reason he did something this year. Gee, I wonder why? Won’t take a Clarence Darrow to figure out that the actions of Auburn’s notorious ‘pay-for-play’ bunch of ‘bots’, that brought this latest array of talent in – by the way, I hear they’ve established an over/under on the number of classes both Cam and Nick The Bruiser actually attended while there…something like 25 sounds about right – proved to be too much for this Alabama fan and he ’snapped’. I mean how many of us could sit still and watch a crook walk away with his ‘ill-gotten gains’ and realize that they’ll probably get away with it? Some people just can’t and feel they have to take matters in their own hands – well this guy killed some trees…at least it wasn’t the bird. Verdict will be ‘diminished capacity, due to Auburn gettin’ away with it’…or ‘justifiable arborcide’.

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reading this article makes me miss Chris Farley even more…love van by the river skit

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Harvey has just been spotted with Don McClean-Drove his Chevy to the levee.

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The problem with people is they say you cannot gauge sin well I doubt my God considers cooking up meth in a house and killing 3 children the same as making a few comments on a blog.

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I’ve never been an Auburn fan, BUT, I will say this; catch the bastard, announce to the Auburn fans that he will be released at the site of the crime at a certain time! Let Auburn students and fans be the judge, jury, and then hang him from the any tree limb they can find!
What an idiot!

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This smells like a public relations ploy by the Updike camp. Get a friend to go on radio and talk about how miserable his life is now? He brought this on himself, no one else is to blame. As for the death threats from AU fans, report it to the police and they will track them down. Otherwise it sounds like BS to me, of course his son says that. Ridiculous…..

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Check out http://www.ToomersOaks.com and make a donation to Auburn’s Tradition Fund.

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With Auburn not being able to roll themselves after winning a game, how will they celebrate in the future? We need a poll here. Will they start a new tradition of ringing their neighbor’s door bell and running? Cow tipping in the Toomer’s Corner pasture? Will Auburn’s new fight song really include the word, “Timber”?

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Personally, I have a great deal of simpathy for Mr. Updyke………This pathetic human is no doubt sick beyond any cure. This story has absolutely nothing to do with college football and all about mental illness. When “normal” people pick up a newspaper or turn on the nightly news, often times they are greeted by stories similar to this, and worse. Back when Jimmy Carter was president, he decided those with multiple diagnosis of severe mental illness had “rights” and should be supported by society until they were deemed a danger to themselves or others. This man is NOT a football fan, he is a nut that will offend again if or when he is released from prison………….Just be thankful this example of dangerous mentally ill person didn’t gun down those celebrating at the trees……………..If anyone is shocked by this mans actions, learn more about mental illness, then demand that your local, state, and federal representatives bring back the “funny farms” that were done away with under Carter………….The nuts would be happier, and society would be alot safer………………The reason I tell you all this, my brother was mentally ill, and did some horrible things before he died………his life was a living hell……..and so was his families………………Sincerily RED

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That guy is a moron. I mean who does crap like this? Drives 30 miles to poison trees? Over a college football team? A college that you didn’t even attend! People need to get a life.

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Hey, How Could You Condone…KMA, and read my post again. I’m not condoning anything, I think it was a heinous act committed by a sick individual…what I’m saying is that in his mind – sick as it was/is – Auburn cheated to win and looked as if it was gonna get away with it, and he decided to do a terrible thing to ‘get even’. It’s called a ‘defense’…a motivation, wrong-minded as it was, that will be presented to a jury as the reason why, and by the time he comes before that jury, the truth about Auburn’s most recent pay-for-play episode will be out there for all to see.

As for my comment about it being ‘trees’ instead of the eagle, that should have been obvious – and for you to compare it to poisoning somebody’s pet, the Bulldog mascot, is bazaar at best. I mean your ‘yellow wood’ man would’ve gotten the difference.

One thing you probably didn’t get wrong, although you didn’t exactly say it…in my heart I believe that somebody in, or representing, the Auburn program cheated like hell to get Newton, and Fairley, and a few others to come play football…and play they did. For you and other Auburn fans, once the evidence is out, to continue to deny it will be the ultimate in cognitive dissonance. Yes the truth will out on this over the next few months and what I want to see is how good and faithful Auburn supporters will react. Will you at long last show a little contrition? Remorse? Shame? Or will you just keep on denying the reality staring you in the face, even after the NCAA, the SEC and the New York Athletic Club does their thing and removes ‘the symbols’ of yours, and Cam’s, season?

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I suggest they move the trial out of Alabama to another state like North Dakota.

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i feel kind of bad for him that was a pretty funny prank

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Just think, this idiot can vote!

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oh really well jeff you dont look much prettier than mr. updyke, and who knows maybe someday God might have you living out of your car, seeing as you like to scoff at others misfortunes and what not. In a way this column is very immature and almost as bad as what updyke done. Jeff you are just as pathetic as mr. updyke.

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This mentally unstable guy was a highway patrolman in Texas? That worries me more than the tree thing. The two off duty “body guards” that assisted the pro quarterback in his little bathroom rape in south Georgia were Pennsylvania. State Troopers. I am beginning to wonder if the problem we have with terrorist is a distraction to a bigger problem that our society is going crazy.

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For Dirty Dawg:

what I want to see is how good and faithful UGA supporters will react. Will you at long last show a little contrition? Remorse? Shame? Or will you just keep on denying the reality staring you in the face, even after the NCAA, the SEC and the New York Athletic Club does their thing and removes ‘the symbols’ of yours, and Herschel’s, 1980 season?

People in glass dog houses shouldn’t throw stones.

As far as Updyke and his current situation, his own words say it best: “Do you think I care?”

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Cecil, here’s your money. Call me if you need some more.

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All this over some stupid trees & football. How ridiculous.

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We will open early today at 10:00 AM to enable
all the Alabama fans to come in and use our
computers.

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Harvey could have a career as a character in “Justified” or maybe as a thug in the next Cohen Brothers’ movie. He could chase Josh Brolin through Texas with a big spray can of Agent Orange.

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Methinks Harvey isn’t playing with a full deck.

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Hey QUESTON, if I thought there had been any question of whether or not UGA paid a bunch of players, including Herschel, a ton of money to come play ball thirty-somethin’ years ago (by the way, is that before, after, or before and after AU has been on probation for those pesky ‘major violations’?) – then I’d understand the ‘throwing stones/glass house’ thingy – but guess what, there ain’t none, and there’s certainly no continuing investigation that’s about to expose this latest feces-laden process. AU is sitting on a smoldering inferno that will likely blow the lid off major college football, the SEC and certainly the ‘LVOTP’,,,and relying on a phrase that ‘the AU family’s all in’ ain’t gonna be nearly enough when the whole sorry mess is exposed to the light and the ridicule comes down all around you.

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This is exactly why Auburn and Alabama fans are the worst types.

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There’s worse things than killing a couple of old trees. It was unnecessary, but the pathetic outpouring and faux outrage over it all is really ridiculous. Let’em die, make a couple of nice benches out of them, and get a life, everybody.

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AUBURN GET A LIFE YOU PAID FOR A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
AND WILL GET CAUGHT. FREE BANK CARDS FOR PLAYERS
AT AUBURN DOES BO JACKSON STILL STUDDER.

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I know of some good lawyers

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I re-read your post Dirty Dawg and you are condoning what he did yet again with your response. It doesn’t matter what AU did, there is no justification for this. He lost a football game and he did something very dangerous and reckless. This low-life could have poisoned the water supply & KILLED PEOPLE! Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage he has cost the state of Alabama. If the herbicide had spread it could have destroyed the entire area. Do you not understand the significance of Toomer’s Corner to Auburn fans and residents? He ruined the place where we as Auburn alumni have our most cherished memories, I don’t care if you hate our football team & root against us every Saturday. It doesn’t bother me one bit. But when you start committing acts of terrorism against the Auburn family, that’s where I draw the line. I love how you say “when all the evidence comes out”: Did you ever stop to think ” Maybe it’s all already out there & Auburn did nothing wrong?” No, because it wouldn’t fit your agenda. Or better yet did you ever stop to think maybe another school was pissed & blew the whistle because they got burned?

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Total duckhead. There is no excuse. That guy looks like a Bama grad, but he probly just parks his double-wide somehere near there.

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Hey CONDONE THIS… (got an imagination?)

Getting past the above, I suppose I’ll just have to give up trying to get you to understand…after all that’s what cognitive dissonance is, ain’t it? We’ll just have to wait and see how it all plays out…only then will we find out if you folks are capable of admitting you were wrong. At the same time, I will commit here and now that when the wiretap evidence in the political bribery/Milton McGregor, et.al., trial is made public…assuming key elements – say like stuff that involved AU’s pay-for-play – aren’t redacted…and there’s no proof that Cam and friends were paid to play at AU, I’ll admit I was wrong in thinking that all that history of cheating meant that it was still going on (I think the legal term is ‘prior bad acts should be inadmissible’) and that Auburn University, today, is as clean as a Safeway chitlin’.

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Justin Beaver

February 23rd, 2011
1:43 pm

Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama? If had had been from anywhere else it would be the teethbrush…….ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA………..Good’en!

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