Harvey Updyke (Auburn tree poisoner) now living in his car
Just guessing that this is how Harvey Updyke looks when he wakes up in the morning in his car. (AP photo)
I’m assuming this will not elicit a lot of sympathy, but the yahoo who allegedly poisoned the Auburn oak trees apparently so concerned for his safety that he’s living in his car. Also, he’s now being defended by an attorney who represented the former Birmingham mayor, who’s now in prison for bribery, fraud and money-laundering.
Is this a movie of the week or what?
According to a friend of Harvey Updyke, who phoned a Birmingham sports talk show that he poisoned the iconic oak trees at Toomers Corner in Auburn, public enemy No. 1 has gone into seclusion and is living in a car by a creek somewhere in Alabama.
So I guess it follows that if Updyke phones another sportstalk show, his handle of “Al from Dadeville” becomes “Al from Chevy.”
Wayne Barnes, a friend of Updyke’s, told the Birmingham News: “He left [his home] and went to buy a new cell phone, and while he was at the Wal-Mart somebody cut two of his tires.”
Hah! Roll Tide.
It’s not all bad news for Updkye. After three court-appointed attorneys in succession managed to talk their way off the case, somebody finally has stepped forward and taken the case: Glennon Threatt Jr. Representing hated and morally reprehensible individuals is nothing new for Threatt. He defended former Birmingham mayor Larry Langford, who last year began serving a 15-year sentence in federal prison following his public corruption trial.
Threatt said of Updyke in an interview with the Paul Finebaum radio show: “He has very limited resources He is exactly the kind of person the law requires to get adequate representation. Now he’s facing a hostile crowd that rather than have a jury, he’ll probably have a crowd of pitchforks and torches out there waiting for him.”
No sympathy here.
By Jeff Schultz
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500 comments Add your comment
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:20 pm
OH AND THEN CELEBRATING A MAN’S DEATH AT THAT TREE
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:20 pm
ANYONE HAVE A CHAINSAW?
gdawginkalamazoo
February 23rd, 2011
3:21 pm
AU grad 87′, uh-oh. What now? How did this guy know the trees were saturated with poison and the exact poison that was used? He won’t be enjoying his retirement unless he likes living by the creek.
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:21 pm
ANYONE SEE THE PARADOX? THEY’RE THROWING TOILET PAPER ON A TREE CRYING OVER THE FACT THAT THE TREE IS DYING! USE THE TREE FOR MORE TOILET PAPER. OR ARE THEY STILL USING BOOKS DOWN IN DEM PLAINS
jg
February 23rd, 2011
3:21 pm
it is really sad. the people who used to be Alabama fans when I was growing up with Bear Bryant as coach, really no longer have a team. they followed/idolized Nick Saban and became the Sabanation and now that he is looking at ‘better options’ they all became Oregon Duck fans. so since this nut-job couldn’t love his team, he put his energy into hating AU.
Whocaresitsatree
February 23rd, 2011
3:22 pm
You could sell me a truckload of that firewood for a thousand dollars. A small price to pay to watch it burn. RTR
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:22 pm
AU BETTER USE THE TOILET PAPER FOR WHEN THEY GO ON PROBATION
Mama Updyke
February 23rd, 2011
3:22 pm
Now where’d that boy git off to? Harvey! Harvey! I’ve told you a thousand times not to play down by the crick. Now git on up here. Yore supper is a gittin’ cold.
Bear & Crimson
February 23rd, 2011
3:22 pm
Hopefully his car & his home if he has one will get torched he deserves nothing but the worst, Im a Dawg fan but this is ridiculous, this MORON is nothing but trash, throw the book at him hes useless & wasting oxygen!!!!!! He was a state trooper??? Very sad!!! Oh wait its our dad!!!
Justin Beaver
February 23rd, 2011
3:22 pm
Back in the woods, an Alabama redneck’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon a baby boy was brought into the world.
“Whoa there,” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down… I think there’s Yet another one to come.”
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
“No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern… It seems there’s yet another one in there!” cried the doctor.
The redneck from Alabama scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor,
“Do you think it’s the light that’s attractin’ ‘em?”
Ted Striker
February 23rd, 2011
3:25 pm
Justin Beaver– That’s some funny stuff.
Auburn09 — If I were landing a plane and you were the only other passenger on board I’d consider crashing just to hear you scream on the way down. (Of course i’ve made your wife scream and moan dozens of time in my bed…different reasons).
Steve
February 23rd, 2011
3:26 pm
Not an big Auburn fan, but I do know how Auburn fans feel about the trees at Toomer’s corner. Auburngrad @ 3:09 expressed it pretty wel.
Personally, I like the judge to give him a life sentence, but not in jail. I’d like to see the judge sentence him to having Auburn logos tatooed in each facial cheek, with instructions they could never be removed or changed.
Harvey Updike
February 23rd, 2011
3:26 pm
I did it once and I’ll do it again if they replant them trees. I’m pretty comfortable living here in by car down by the creek. Roll Damn Tide
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:27 pm
WHAT DO YOU CALL AN AUBURN GRAD? A CHEATER….LOL
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:28 pm
WHAT DO YOU CALL 32 AUBURN CHEERLEADERS IN A ROOM? A FULL SET OF TEETH
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:29 pm
An Auburn fan and an Alabama fan both go to Las Vegas to do a little gambling.
After a couple of hours the Alabama fan was broke. He looks over and sees the Auburn fan with a wheelbarrel full of quarters.
The Alabama fan walks over to him and says, “Wow, where did you win all that?”
To which the Auburn fan replies, “You see that machine on the wall over there? If you put a dollar in you get four quarters back every time!”
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:30 pm
Did you hear that they can’t have any more parties at Auburn?
The guy who knew the recipe for ice graduated.
Tiger 9597
February 23rd, 2011
3:31 pm
A lot of people don’t understand what the trees mean to Auburn people. I have tried to come up with a comparable thing that could happen to other fans / schools. 130 yr old Trees are unique, you cannot just replace them. If someone shot UGA, they would just get another dog (just like they have done about 3 times in the last couple of years). If someone knocked down denny chimes at bama, It can be rebuilt in a couple of months. The Closest thing i can come up with is poisoning all of the Trees in the grove at Ole Miss, or driving a bulldozer through Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame. I believe that you would hear similar outcry if one of those things happened.
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:31 pm
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT TOOMER’S TREES? NO WHAT HAPPENED? THEY DIED-LOLOLOL
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:32 pm
•What do you call an Auburn player with a National Championship ring?… A thief-or scam newton bwahahahaha
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:34 pm
How do you get an Auburn student off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza!
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:35 pm
What is the most common line used by an Auburn alum?
Would you like fries with that?
Harvey Updike
February 23rd, 2011
3:35 pm
If any Bama fans are nearby-stop by and see me. I’m parked down by Lickskillet Creek, just outside Opalika. You bring the beer. I’m gettin’ kinda lonely out here all by myself. I’ll tell you the whole story, not just what this liberal birdcage liner wants you to read. Roll Damn Tide
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:37 pm
What’s the difference between a AU cheerleader and an elephant?
A couple of hundred pounds.
Crimson and White
February 23rd, 2011
3:37 pm
How does an Auburn fan do math? He compares a few trees to a grove and considers that equal.
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:37 pm
What do you call a 200 pound AU cheerleader?
Anorexic.
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:39 pm
What are the longest three years of a AUBURN football player’s life?
Freshman year.
shankit
February 23rd, 2011
3:39 pm
Crimson and White -
Which neighbors’s Wi Fi are you using in your trailer?
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:41 pm
——————————————————————————–
Join Date:Jan 2002
Location:Hueytown, Alabama, U.S.A.
Posts:822
I think I got this joke from this board last year but it’s funny enough to rehash:
A Tennessee fan, a Georgia fan, an Alabama fan and an Auburn fan we’re hiking up a mountain together and the whole way up they were arguing about who was a more rabid fan for their respective team. When they got to the top the UT fan said “I’ll settle this. I’ll jump off this mountain and fall to my death to show my love for the Vols. So he did, the whole time yelling “Rocky Top!” The UGA fan says “I can do that too.” And he jumps while yelling “Hunker down hairy dawgs!” That leaves that Alabama fan and the Auburn fan. So the Alabama fan looks at the Auburn fan and pushes him off the mountain saying “Fly you stupid war eagle, fly!”
gdawginkalamazoo
February 23rd, 2011
3:41 pm
“….and while he was at the Wal-Mart somebody cut two of his tires.”
He should have shopped at Target, stuff like that never happens there.
Fearless Fife
February 23rd, 2011
3:41 pm
Me and Andy don’t stand for that tree violence here in Mayberry. When it comes to criminal behavior, we nip it in the bud.
Crimson and White
February 23rd, 2011
3:41 pm
Yours shankit…see you at our HOA meeting.
Justin Beaver
February 23rd, 2011
3:41 pm
good stuff Phil, you got anymore for the beav?
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:42 pm
Do you know the difference between a catfish and an Auburn cheerleader?
-One has wiskers and stinks, the other one is a catfish…!!
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:44 pm
WHAT DID TOOMER’S TREE SAY TO PATERNO? WHO THOUGHT YOUD OUTLIVE ME…BWAHAHAHAHA
Justin Beaver
February 23rd, 2011
3:44 pm
I like it
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:45 pm
WHAT IS TOOMERS TREE FAVORITE MOVIE? ROOTS BWAHAHAHA
joe
February 23rd, 2011
3:46 pm
LOL a bama guy ribbing an auburn guy about teeth…now that’s funny! Only in Alabama…
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:46 pm
WHAT DID TOOMER’S TREE SAY TO SCAM NEWTON? HOWD YOU SURVIVE? BWWWHAHAHAHA
gdawginkalamazoo
February 23rd, 2011
3:46 pm
Steve, 3:26 post. Excellent idea. Have the judge take away all his Bama gear and make him wear a Cam Newton jersey the rest of his life along with a Flav a Flav size locket that has a picture of Cam kissing him on the cheek on one side and Nick Fairely on the other.
War Eagle
February 23rd, 2011
3:46 pm
Phil sucks dick. Justin Beaver takes it up the ass.
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:47 pm
THE ONLY GOOD TREE IS A —OH SORRY AUBURN FANS-BWAHAHAHAHA
Justin Beaver
February 23rd, 2011
3:47 pm
only from Usher
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:48 pm
WAR EAGLE, TREES, TIGERS, IRON BOWLS-WHAT IN THE HECK IS GOIN ON AT AUBURN
Tom
February 23rd, 2011
3:48 pm
What do you call a beautiful woman in Alabama?? A TOURIST!!!
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:48 pm
AND WHATS A CHIZIK
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:48 pm
MAYBE SCAM CAN SMILE AT THE TREE TO SAVE IT-LOLOLOL
Crimson and White
February 23rd, 2011
3:48 pm
Actually Joe we are in Georgia guess you skipped geography at Auburn.
War Eagle
February 23rd, 2011
3:48 pm
Tom hasn’t spent much time on the campus of Bama or Auburn.
Phil
February 23rd, 2011
3:49 pm
BO KNOWS STEROIDS