Falcons win, Dogs win and Fox is playing human ‘Frogger’
Hello, and welcome back to the world of football, or as Tucker Carlson likes to call it, “Nothing But A League of Thugs and Degenerates and Serial Killers Who Should All Should All Be Thrown Into a Vat Of Face-Melting Acid, Like When Jack Napier Turned Into The Joker On Batman. Except For The Short White Kickers, I Like Those Guys.”
If you missed it, Carlson — fighting for relevancy in the growing mutant world of psychotic political commentators — called for the execution of Michael Vick this week for crimes against past Labradors, never mind the 23 months he already spent in prison and the loss of 27 gazillion dollars. I think it pretty much confirms Vick is not on Carlson’s Fantasy League team.
Personally, I believe Carlson should be sentenced to one game of human “Frogger.” That’s the other unbelievably true story this week: a Clemson man (not Dabo Swinney) thought it would be
For final NFC South standings, start in upper-left and go clockwise.
fun to mimic the video game “Frogger” and try to run across a busy highway without getting tenderized. Seriously, this guy actually yelled, “Go!” and then took off.
It was a short game. He got smacked by an SUV. Somehow, he lived. Obviously he didn’t suffer any brain damage since he already was at base level.
I’m thinking John Fox feels like the frog about now. The Carolina coach knows he’s toast after losing to the Falcons on Sunday. Asked about speculation on his firing, he said: “This is not new news. It’s a finishing. It’s kind of been knowledgeable for a couple years.” Nice to have a two-year warning. Most are lucky to get two weeks.
This week, the Falcons face Fox’s Panthers, who are one bad quarterback short of qualifying for aid from FEMA. The Falcons are trying to close out the NFC South Division title and home field through the playoffs. If they can’t beat this bunch, they should be forced to watch Tucker Carlson diatribes on an endless loop. (OK, maybe not. That would violate the Geneva Convention.)
The line is 14 points. That’s a lot. But there’s pent up anger from the loss to New Orleans. I say: Go! Falcons win and cover.
Here’s John Fox’s video resume the last two years
And just because it’s even more unbelievable the second time, Carlson on Vick
Bowl Parade (Chronologically but Illogically)
(Repeating Liberty and Chick-fil-A picks from a week ago because I had my days off, or maybe my brain.)
The Caleb King: The legend, the myth.
Liberty: Georgia-Central Florida: The Dogs will be without Caleb King, who is academically ineligible, which is a change from him being arrested or suspended or injured (or thinking he’s injured). Dude: When does the light bulb go on? Enjoy four quarters of A.J. Green. Then say goodbye. His jersey hits eBay at about 7 p.m. Friday. Dogs cover 6 ½.
Chick-fil-A: South Carolina-Florida State: Steve Spurrier accepted this bowl bid only after assurances that Cam Newton wouldn’t be in the Dome again. He won’t, but Cecil Newton will be in the parking lot selling Cam’s old shoes. Roosters cover 3.
Outback: Florida-Penn State: I’m less amazed that Joe Paterno, at the age of 84, can still coach 18-year-olds than I am that Hugh Hefner, at the age of 84, can coach 24-year-olds. Say hello to the new Mrs. Hefner: Crystal Harris, Miss December 2009, 34D-25-35-56 (breasts-waist-hips-IQ). Does Paterno take blue pills, too. And speaking of pills, this is Urban Meyer’s last game. Gators win but take Penn State and 7 ½.
Capital One: Alabama-Michigan State: Nick Saban goes from having the best team in the country to the second best team in the state, although I might be shortchanging Troy (which had a better conference record). Tide covers 10.
Hugh surprised Crystal with a ring and 34Ds.
Gator: Mississippi State-Michigan: Dan Mullen leads Mississippi State to the school’s 15th bowl game in 116 years. That should make a dandy final entry on the resume. By the way, how are housing prices in Athens? Other Dogs cover 5.
Orange: Stanford-Virginia Tech: Frank Beamer just won the inaugural Joe Paterno Coach Of The Year Award because there’s no rule prohibiting the winner from losing to James Madison. Take the 3½ but VaTech wins this straight up.
Sugar: Ohio State-Arkansas: Sugar Bowl CEO Paul Hoolahan admits he asked Ohio State not to suspend six players for the bowl game for selling memorabilia because he wanted to “preserve the integrity” of the game.” Integrity? Somebody get that man a dictionary. Take the 3 ½ and Piggies win straight up.
BCS Mondo Enchilada Bowl: Auburn-Oregon: Have you ever seen an Arena League game? Yeah, me neither. But it’ll be kinda like that. The first team to punt loses. And Cam Newton isn’t losing to anybody, let alone to a team called the Ducks. Looking at something like 42-37. Tigers win it all (and cover 3).
NFL Snack Pack
Cowboys at Eagles: Michael Vick lost to Minnesota, which is Latin for, “Take the MVP, Tom Brady, it’s yours.” Eagles cover 6 ½.
Vikings at Lions: If Brett Favre thinks a $50,000 fine for sexting pictures of “Little Brett” to Jenn Sterger is steep, just wait until he gets the bill from his (ex-)wife, Deanna. Detroit covers 3.
Giants at Redskins: Tom Coughlin had his car towed this week after he parked in Bill Cowher’s space. Giants win, but take Washington and 4.
♦
The Toteboard
“In any bet, there is a fool and a thief.” — Proverb
Last week (dreadful): 2-6 straight up, 2-6 against the line.
Bottom line (not dreadful): 134-50 straight up, 96-85-3 against the line.
♦
Sack Schultz
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♦
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567 comments Add your comment
gdawginkalamazoo
December 30th, 2010
4:22 pm
All this politcial crap reminds me of that old Andy Griffith skit…. “Football Blog is what it was..”
Enemas for Christmas
December 30th, 2010
4:22 pm
Conservative White Republican
December 30th, 2010
2:53 pm
The more I think about Tucker’s bow ties, the more I want to go to Brooks Brothers at Lenox and solicit felatio from one of the male sales clerks. I also think it is ok to suggest thatMichael Vick be murdered for mistreating animals because Mike Vick is black. If he were white, I would think he should pay a fine and move on.
But I’m not racist.
Hey Jeff……another republican announces his coming out…And he uses your blog! Quite a day.
Falcon Jim
December 30th, 2010
4:23 pm
Go Falcons……………………?
gdawginkalamazoo
December 30th, 2010
4:23 pm
Jim Tressel is a fool.
Jeff Schultz
December 30th, 2010
4:24 pm
JSS — I went through a brief Ann Coulter period. It’s passed. But Sarah Palin . . . uh, is my wife reading this?
Paul in RDU
December 30th, 2010
4:24 pm
Enter your comments here
Jeff Schultz
December 30th, 2010
4:26 pm
JSS — I admit I went through a brief Ann Coulter period. But it has passed. But Sarah Palin is . . . uh, is my wife reading this?
ylojkt
December 30th, 2010
4:27 pm
Jeff, you’re welcome, and it’s pronounced yellow jacket.
gdawginkalamazoo
December 30th, 2010
4:28 pm
I don’t think I will ever get this blog off the bottom of my shoe. We really stepped in it today.
this is a bad subject
December 30th, 2010
4:28 pm
talking about things other than football and sex
Jeff Schultz
December 30th, 2010
4:29 pm
StingerSplash — That could be a good rankings list: “Women you want to catch on the rebound.”
5150 P.O.A.D.
December 30th, 2010
4:30 pm
Just to put some football back in this blog.
MV7 was having a flashback tuesday night. He was dropping the football like it was the soap in Prison. AHHAHHAHHA
mv7 is no MVP.
Paul in RDU
December 30th, 2010
4:30 pm
Jeff – If you are going for female politicians, I recommend Cristina Kirchner of Argentina – and newly widowed to boot.
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
4:32 pm
It has to be between Vick and Brady for MVP- TBD
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 30th, 2010
4:33 pm
Jeff Schultz
December 30th, 2010
4:26 pm
JSS — I admit I went through a brief Ann Coulter period. But it has passed. But Sarah Palin is . . . uh, is my wife reading this?
___________________________________
You would be better off with Tina Faye – at least her I.Q. is larger than her shoe size
naive
December 30th, 2010
4:34 pm
MATT RYAN has the best record in the NFC.
Paul in RDU
December 30th, 2010
4:35 pm
Jeff – Remember this line for your wife – “I’m going to go hiking on the Appalachian Trail”
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
4:35 pm
I have become a huge fan of Choke on this blog!!!
5150 P.O.A.D.
December 30th, 2010
4:36 pm
JEFF
What about SUCHITA VADLAMANI leaving Fox 5. The hottest lady on local TV is gone. WHY WHY WHY? Why should I get out of bed early in the morning anymore?
Jerry West
December 30th, 2010
4:38 pm
Geez Jeff, no love for the Cotton Bowl? I know Fox college football coverage sucks, but still.
5150 P.O.A.D.
December 30th, 2010
4:39 pm
Jeff
You are going to have to step-up on your early morning blog posts if you want me to wake up early now. LOL
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
4:41 pm
OBama yo Moma give me a break
Live Free or Die
December 30th, 2010
4:45 pm
We should expand the U.S. Armed Forces health care system to all citizens.
The Emperor's New Clothes
December 30th, 2010
4:45 pm
Tucker Carlson has the right to state that Mike Vick should be executed. Jeff Schultz has the right to criticize Tucker Calrlson for saying that. (He also has the right — and the power — to… gulp.. BAN us! Ooooh…) We all have the right to come onto this blog and state our opinions, whether it be on Carlson, Vick, or politics (but NOT the “R” word). Falcon-haters have the right to criticize Matt Ryan for being less than perfect, and even “Choke” has the right to lust for Mike Vick (stupid smiley face!) But Mike Vick did NOT have the right to do what he did to those dogs. The rest is just talk; what he did was criminal and incredibly stupid. He paid for it, he’s back, and he ain’t going anywhere, folks. So can we move on now already? Go Falcons!
5150 P.O.A.D.
December 30th, 2010
4:46 pm
T&F-h what Obama yo Moma said is true. Why didn’t Obama call all the coaches and owner that let Character questionable players come back and play football?
Shreveport was real bad for Tech and its fans. Even a Shreveport City Official scored on Tech. Well a female Tech fan. Can’t believe a man was that stupid to rape a chick in the mayors office. Supposedly. Like MV7 and all the UGA players he is Innocent until proven quilty.
5150 P.O.A.D.
December 30th, 2010
4:50 pm
UNC should beat the Vols, but UNC has had so many issues this year. The Vols Qb has been getting better all year.
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
4:50 pm
The comment says more about him and you Poad than it does Obama.
The Emperor's New Clothes
December 30th, 2010
4:52 pm
But MV7 was proven guilty.
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
4:54 pm
that was not the issue
Dawg A
December 30th, 2010
4:56 pm
I’m glad that I am going away for the weekend! I am sick of listening to political stuff on a sports blog! And the sarcastic attitude is what my ten year old does! But I guess we can claim a lot of responses! It’s just sad we can’t get them discussing sports and doing it with some form of maturity! And I truly am outta here! So respond in your typical sarcastic way…… I won’t see it! Return to sports then I will be back!
Falcon Jim
December 30th, 2010
4:57 pm
Who cares…………………?
Nathan Deal
December 30th, 2010
5:00 pm
Southern Conservatives are a joke to the national GOP. They don’t have any money, ideas or leadership to offer their party. They just go around making idiotic statements and wrecking budgets and living in te 1950’s. They pander to mouth-breathing camo-wearing high school dropouts and then they wonder why Republican leadership won’t return their phone calls. The Tea Party is a boil on the GOP’s arse, and so-called “Christian Conservatives” are the cancer eating the GOP from the inside.
It’s so simple. The economy will show moderate improvement, a new military conflict will emerge, approval ratings will surge, the GOP will be forced to nominate somebody with zero charisma (John Boehner) just because they know he won’t make a fool of himself in national media, and we will all get four more years of Obama. Then Hillary after that. And you will all still be a bunch of inbred ginger-lily smack talkers with nothing to back it up. So pathetic.
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
5:03 pm
Ouch!!!!! ginger-lily wow
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
5:05 pm
I can’t wait to see the deals that Nathan Deal arranges between his bid-nesses and the State of Georgia- I thought Sonny was bold but I just know in my heart that Nathan can top him.
5150 P.O.A.D.
December 30th, 2010
5:13 pm
UGA grad Barnes then UGA Grad Sonny how can it get any worse with Deal?
Michael "Choke" Vick
December 30th, 2010
5:15 pm
Go Flacons!
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
5:16 pm
Can we resume the ethics investigation that was started in the US Congress before he resigned? I vote for that.
5150 P.O.A.D.
December 30th, 2010
5:25 pm
T&F-h
Vote for it all you want. Now, if you want to pay for it yourself then yes I am all for the investigation. You crazy LIB want to spend money on the crap that will not help get the country out of our current situation.
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
5:30 pm
Let’s ignore the scandals of a Repub politician who resigned from the House before the ethics committee could render their judgement? That sounds about par for the course.
The Emperor's New Clothes
December 30th, 2010
5:44 pm
Politics schmolitics. We once had a great political system in this country but it doesn’t work anymore, now that global corporations run everything. All we do is argue the semantics, but in reality, no matter what we say or how we vote, NOTHING EVER GETS DONE. Remember all the “change” Obama was going to bring about? What the hell ever happened to all that? Dubyah was no better. Does anyone still believe the war in Iraq was about anything other than oil, money and power? We rail on and on all day about taxes, welfare, the rich-poor gap, gay marriage, health care, etc., etc., blah-blah-blah, but NONE OF IT MATTERS. Exxon-Mobil, Wal-Mart, Chevron, General Electric, AT&T and the rest control EVERYTHING. Who cares who is the governor of Georgia? IT DOESN’T MATTER. The talking-heads at Fox News are no better or worse than the ones at CNN. So what if Tucker Carlson says Mike Vick should be executed. His words don’t hurt anybody and IT DOESN’T CHANGE A THING. So what if you say the “wrong” thing and Schultz “bans” you from this stupid blog. Who cares? Football is nothing but a diversion anyway — enjoy it! Enjoy gourmet food and premium beer, enjoy your new car and your hi-def TV, enjoy your vacation, and for God’s sake enjoy your family; and, if it makes you feel any better, go out and vote. But don’t expect your vote to change anything, because it won’t. So enough about politics already. Can we now talk about football again?
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
5:51 pm
Yeah – it does matter. That attitude has gone a long way to get us to this point in time. And the right wing radio hate speech over the past 20 years has played a huge part in getting us to this point. They never appeal to our better angels- they always appeal to the cynicism, the anger, the negative, the hurt. Yeah- Rush and his buddies have a lot to answer for- and answer they will one day.
5150 P.O.A.D.
December 30th, 2010
5:53 pm
Big Bad Bruce aka Uga VIII is sick. Russ gets to be 5-4 or 4-5. Poor Russ will be a Winner or Loser based on this game. I almost feel sorry for him.
Najeh Davenpoop
December 30th, 2010
5:56 pm
For every Tucker Carlson who has a public forum to spout his stupidity, there are ten million people who don’t have that privilege and agree with him.
The real-life Frogger thing was hilarious.
The Emperor's New Clothes
December 30th, 2010
6:01 pm
@”Tucker and Faux – hilarious,” I admire your optimism and I wish I shared it. If everyone in the country felt the way you do, something good might get done. But it’s as if a giant boulder has fallen onto a loved one and there’s no one around to help me lift it off. I can’t lift it alone and I’ve screamed my head off but no one can hear me. So at some point I have to accept the fact that my loved one is gone and let it go. So it goes with my country. I can’t lift the burden, and it seems there aren’t enough people willing or able to help, and my cries fall on deaf ears. So I have resigned to let it go. Good luck with your struggle, my friend.
JSS
December 30th, 2010
6:04 pm
@ Falcon Jim…
I grew up “Firing Line” every Friday night… I really agreed with Buckley on social politics (he saw the light before he died); but my Brother told me that you never dismiss any one else without completely knowing how came to and feel about a issue…
@ Jeff Schultz…
“(But then, JSS does stand for Jeff Schultz’s Shadow, isn’t that the word on the street?)”
That is what some blogger said,… Another said it meant “Jeff Schultz Sux!” I was greatly insulted by that use of my Christian name! Still, consider the source on that one? Happy New Year! Yep, I’m old, I like my political pundits erudite and at least willing to consider the other side…
Tucker and Faux- hilarious
December 30th, 2010
6:11 pm
And to you as well.
Paul in RDU
December 30th, 2010
6:14 pm
Someone did try to kill Uga VIII? I was joking with my 2:55 post – never thought Russ would do it.
JSS
December 30th, 2010
6:15 pm
“Remember all the “change” Obama was going to bring about? What the hell ever happened to all that?”
Simple, go ask Abraham Lincoln about not having a party willing to listen to reason… You can ask John Kennedy too… You need to ask when is a Everett Dirksen going to finally emerge on the Right and see what might aid the Nation… Instead we get more and more ideologues like John C. Calhoun, and one day if we’re not careful we’re going to empower a radical with the death wise of a John Brown… Heaven help you then…
Stinger2
December 30th, 2010
6:15 pm
Jeff: Please carefully consider the consequences before
writing any more blogs that will bring all of these sorry
replies and comments that have absolutely noting to do with sports. Thank you.
JSS
December 30th, 2010
6:21 pm
Was I rougher on Jeff Schultz about Coulter or race relations in Atlanta back in the day? Yep, Coulter!!! What were you thinking?