Falcons win, Dogs win and Fox is playing human ‘Frogger’

chalk

Hello, and welcome back to the world of football, or as Tucker Carlson likes to call it, “Nothing But A League of Thugs and Degenerates and Serial Killers Who Should All Should All Be Thrown Into a Vat Of Face-Melting Acid, Like When Jack Napier Turned Into The Joker On Batman. Except For The Short White Kickers, I Like Those Guys.”

If you missed it, Carlson — fighting for relevancy in the growing mutant world of psychotic political commentators — called for the execution of Michael Vick this week for crimes against past Labradors, never mind the 23 months he already spent in prison and the loss of 27 gazillion dollars. I think it pretty much confirms Vick is not on Carlson’s Fantasy League team.

Personally, I believe Carlson should be sentenced to one game of human “Frogger.” That’s the other unbelievably true story this week: a Clemson man (not Dabo Swinney) thought it would be

For final standings, start in upper-left and go clockwise.

For final NFC South standings, start in upper-left and go clockwise.

fun to mimic the video game “Frogger” and try to run across a busy highway without getting tenderized. Seriously, this guy actually yelled, “Go!” and then took off.

It was a short game. He got smacked by an SUV. Somehow, he lived. Obviously he didn’t suffer any brain damage since he already was at base level.

I’m thinking John Fox feels like the frog about now. The Carolina coach knows he’s toast after losing to the Falcons on Sunday. Asked about speculation on his firing, he said: “This is not new news. It’s a finishing. It’s kind of been knowledgeable for a couple years.” Nice to have a two-year warning. Most are lucky to get two weeks.

This week, the Falcons face Fox’s Panthers, who are one bad quarterback short of qualifying for aid from FEMA. The Falcons are trying to close out the NFC South Division title and home field through the playoffs. If they can’t beat this bunch, they should be forced to watch Tucker Carlson diatribes on an endless loop. (OK, maybe not. That would violate the Geneva Convention.)

The line is 14 points. That’s a lot. But there’s pent up anger from the loss to New Orleans. I say: Go! Falcons win and cover.

Here’s John Fox’s video resume the last two years

And just because it’s even more unbelievable the second time, Carlson on Vick

Bowl Parade (Chronologically but Illogically)

(Repeating Liberty and Chick-fil-A picks from a week ago because I had my days off, or maybe my brain.)

In case you wondered what Caleb King looked like.

The Caleb King: The legend, the myth.

Liberty: Georgia-Central Florida: The Dogs will be without Caleb King, who is academically ineligible, which is a change from him being arrested or suspended or injured (or thinking he’s injured). Dude: When does the light bulb go on? Enjoy four quarters of A.J. Green. Then say goodbye. His jersey hits eBay at about 7 p.m. Friday. Dogs cover 6 ½.

Chick-fil-A: South Carolina-Florida State: Steve Spurrier accepted this bowl bid only after assurances that Cam Newton wouldn’t be in the Dome again. He won’t, but Cecil Newton will be in the parking lot selling Cam’s old shoes. Roosters cover 3.

Outback: Florida-Penn State: I’m less amazed that Joe Paterno, at the age of 84, can still coach 18-year-olds than I am that Hugh Hefner, at the age of 84, can coach 24-year-olds. Say hello to the new Mrs. Hefner: Crystal Harris, Miss December 2009, 34D-25-35-56 (breasts-waist-hips-IQ). Does Paterno take blue pills, too. And speaking of pills, this is Urban Meyer’s last game. Gators win but take Penn State and 7 ½.

Capital One: Alabama-Michigan State: Nick Saban goes from having the best team in the country to the second best team in the state, although I might be shortchanging Troy (which had a better conference record). Tide covers 10.

It was true love from the moment Hugh pick out her -- never mind.

Hugh surprised Crystal with a ring and 34Ds.

Gator: Mississippi State-Michigan: Dan Mullen leads Mississippi State to the school’s 15th bowl game in 116 years. That should make a dandy final entry on the resume. By the way, how are housing prices in Athens? Other Dogs cover 5.

Orange: Stanford-Virginia Tech: Frank Beamer just won the inaugural Joe Paterno Coach Of The Year Award because there’s no rule prohibiting the winner from losing to James Madison. Take the 3½ but VaTech wins this straight up.

Sugar: Ohio State-Arkansas: Sugar Bowl CEO Paul Hoolahan admits he asked Ohio State not to suspend six players for the bowl game for selling memorabilia because he wanted to “preserve the integrity” of the game.” Integrity? Somebody get that man a dictionary. Take the 3 ½ and Piggies win straight up.

BCS Mondo Enchilada Bowl: Auburn-Oregon: Have you ever seen an Arena League game? Yeah, me neither. But it’ll be kinda like that. The first team to punt loses. And Cam Newton isn’t losing to anybody, let alone to a team called the Ducks. Looking at something like 42-37. Tigers win it all (and cover 3).

NFL Snack Pack

Cowboys at Eagles: Michael Vick lost to Minnesota, which is Latin for, “Take the MVP, Tom Brady, it’s yours.” Eagles cover 6 ½.

Vikings at Lions: If Brett Favre thinks a $50,000 fine for sexting pictures of “Little Brett” to Jenn Sterger is steep, just wait until he gets the bill from his (ex-)wife, Deanna. Detroit covers 3.

Giants at Redskins: Tom Coughlin had his car towed this week after he parked in Bill Cowher’s space. Giants win, but take Washington and 4.

money large

The Toteboard

“In any bet, there is a fool and a thief.” — Proverb

Last week (dreadful): 2-6 straight up, 2-6 against  the line.

Bottom line (not dreadful): 134-50 straight up, 96-85-3 against the line.

LogoGrass_652173a

Sack Schultz

You can jump into the “Sack Schultz” bowl contest at any time and win an iPad! The games have started, but don’t worry because early bowls count only one point each and there’s like 12,000.  Click here for more info or go to ajc.com/go/sack-schultz to enter.

Follow me on Twitter @JeffSchultzAJC; friend me at Facebook.com/JeffSchultzAJC

567 comments Add your comment

gdawginkalamazoo

December 30th, 2010
10:40 am

Hey “Choke” , WAR and abusing & killing defenseless animals are two different things you jackwagon. I never served in the military but I am grateful for the people who have and do serve our country.

Jeff Schultz

December 30th, 2010
10:41 am

“Vick worshipers are angrah” — Deleted your comment. Warning to you and others: Keep race out off this blog or I will shut down commenting and ban you, as I’ve done before.

Jeff Schultz

December 30th, 2010
10:43 am

Matt “Choke” Ryan — Same warning about race to you. Try to type a comment without the words “white” or “black”

"Chef" Tim Dix

December 30th, 2010
10:45 am

If Cynthia married Tucker…Cynthia Tucker Carlson = How new networks are born.

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

December 30th, 2010
10:46 am

juice sourcer

December 30th, 2010
8:32 am
FOX news should be executed. On the other hand does anyone even watch?

________________________________________________

A poll showed that the majority of Fox and Gop followers had a lower degree percentage compared to Democrats or Liberals.

That explains a lot and their viewers.

what a moron

December 30th, 2010
10:46 am

P.O.A.D.,

Please, it’s obvious you are an ACC fan. You reek of jealously. The ACC are the ones playing the posers. The SEC is facing 3 very good Big 10 teams. What is the ACC facing, besides academies, WAC, Big East and Notre Dame? How is that Air Force beatdown sitting with you? You guys are so desperate for a win you will probably thump your chests and scream superiority if UNC is able to defeat a horrible UT team.

Yes, the SEC was down this year, but so what? They are still better than any other of conference even in their worst year.

You cannot argue against facts my man.

To reebok at 8:26

December 30th, 2010
10:46 am

“hilarious, jeff. as usual. tucker carlson works for FOX ‘news,’ that means he’s paid to be an idiot.”

====================================

Excuse me, but Carlson works for Fox, but NOT “Fox News”

The means “reebok” works at being an idiot for free.

5150 P.O.A.D.

December 30th, 2010
10:47 am

If Vick is a DOG Killer then what are Richt, Grantham, Bobo, Murray, Green, and King? Those guys put 85 scholarship dawgs on life support this year.

Vick worshipers are angrah!!!!

December 30th, 2010
10:48 am

Come on Shultz, it’s pretty obvious what this guy is all about. He’s doing everything but painting us a picture.

Vick worshipers are angrah!!!!

December 30th, 2010
10:48 am

LOL!!! “a poll?” Well there you have it!! The debate is over!!! LOL!!!

willy

December 30th, 2010
10:49 am

Here’s the thing: You right wingers are mad because Jeff keeps picking on a Fox News guy, yet you all say it was a horrible comment. You’re being overly defensive JUST because it’s Fox News. One guy said that Jeff wouldn’t have made an issue if Keith Olbermann had made the comment. I say, you wouldn’t be defending him, but you’ll defend YOUR BOY from Fox and get angry if anybody points out anything stupid that they say. And we are supposed to believe in fair and balanced? Schultz isn’t showing an imbalanced tilt, you are.

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

December 30th, 2010
10:52 am

Hannity is a joke and a big coward.

He made a bet with Keith Obermann that if it was proven that water boarding was torture, the loser would be water boarded and Hannity, like the coward and joke he is didn’t follow through, even after a Conservative radio host wanted to prove Keith Obermann wrong, decided to be water boarded on national television, and he quit within only seconds and on the spot, changed his mind and declared it as torture.

He even followed up by appearing on Hannity’s show and tried to convince the idiot that Conservatives and the Evil Bush Administration were a torture administration.

Vick worshipers are angrah!!!!

December 30th, 2010
10:53 am

Willy,

Shultz is a leftwing guy himself. Anyone that’s read or listened to him over the years knows that. What’s really funny is how libs like yourself want to dictate what is appropriate or what isn’t to be said/stated in public. Shultz always shows his biased, but disguises it in playful ways.

For instances, why hasn’t Jeff made any comments about the PA’s lefty Governor for speaking the truth (for once) about how the nation is becoming wussified? Oh that’s right, because he’s a crazy Dem and gets a pass.

gdawginkalamazoo

December 30th, 2010
10:53 am

5150 POAD, you guys should have quit when you were 6-6. Actually the 85 number is incorrect as a handfull of players will be moving onto the NFL so they can’t really complain. That’s what UGA seems to do, move players to the next level.

Mr Charlie

December 30th, 2010
10:54 am

Funny, Matt “Choke” Ryan talks about Ryan “Choking” in a somewhat meaningless game against the defending super bowl champs, then his boy goes out and laid as big an egg I have ever seen with the #2 seed at stake against a team with nothing to play for auditioning their #3 QB.

I did notice him absent that evening. You just can’t make this stuff up.

Vick worshipers are angrah!!!!

December 30th, 2010
10:54 am

Anyone that sides with Olbermann on anything automatically loses any debate due to mental instability, LOL!!!

"Chef" Tim Dix

December 30th, 2010
10:57 am

In Cheffy’s warped mind, pundit’s are real realty TV.

1eyedJack

December 30th, 2010
10:58 am

gdawginkalamazoo 10:40 am
“WAR and abusing & killing defenseless animals are two different things..”

Hate to disagree with you zoo, but there is a lot of footage on the history channel to the contrary.

Mr Charlie

December 30th, 2010
10:59 am

Who cares what this idiot says. Vick did his time, paid a huge price, and worked his way back. I do wonder what Obama will say if Vick screws up again. Regardless, Vick is the same QB he has always been, a tremendous talent who can dominate a game, but not quite good enough to make adjustments to counter defensive game plans designed to defend against his unique talents. I think we have seen that the past two weeks.

5150 P.O.A.D.

December 30th, 2010
11:03 am

gdawgin
Next level dawgs for a few years yes, but what then? I hope Sturditant is not stupid enought to go to the NFL this year. He better get a good degree. I don’t believe his body will make a career of the nfl.

[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

always high

December 30th, 2010
11:05 am

Choke can pony up mommies basement.

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

December 30th, 2010
11:06 am

juice sourcer

December 30th, 2010
8:32 am
FOX news should be executed. On the other hand does anyone even watch?

_______________________________________________

When it comes to CHOKE, until he wins a playoff game, ANYTHING goes and I know Carolina would love nothing more than to STICK it to the Falcons and its John Fox’s last game and he won’t leave anythingg in the playbook unused.

Bring on all wagers :)

1eyedJack

December 30th, 2010
11:06 am

Matt “CHOKE” Ryan 10:46 am

“A poll showed that the majority of Fox and Gop followers had a lower degree percentage compared to Democrats or Liberals.”

That could be because the majority of “Democrats or Liberals” don’t watch News channels or read newspapers or history books.

Democrats never agree on anything, that’s why they’re Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

gdawginkalamazoo

December 30th, 2010
11:07 am

1eyedJack, I think we can all agree that war can be and is brutal, fought for the wrong reasons, full of torture and contains injustices. The point I was trying to make is that the guy comparing what Vick did to a soldier killing is just plain wrong.

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

December 30th, 2010
11:07 am

@Jeff

Sorry that was not meant for “Juicer”, but for you…….

When it comes to CHOKE, until he wins a playoff game, ANYTHING goes and I know Carolina would love nothing more than to STICK it to the Falcons and its John Fox’s last game and he won’t leave anythingg in the playbook unused.

Bring on all wagers

5150 P.O.A.D.

December 30th, 2010
11:08 am

I keep seeing the Catholics come TV commercial. I think the Catholic church should save the money on ADS and pay all the people that were molested by preists. Just a thought. And shouldn’t the ad be in spanish? With all the illegals here that are more Catholic the ad should be trying to get them in church and donate money made in the US to stay in the US.

JDawg

December 30th, 2010
11:09 am

We better got out of our 4+ month drought of no commitments, or we’re gonna be remembering the good ole days of 6-6.

I don’t know if it is Richt being on the hot seat or just the losing of the past 2 years, but our recruiting is going south in a hurry.

John2

December 30th, 2010
11:10 am

Wow. An ajc sports writer is predicting an Arkansas/Bobby Petrino win. What is this world coming to?

ylojkt

December 30th, 2010
11:13 am

Jeff, good column as usual. You have to expect to get a huge, nonsensical backlash whenever you criticize something that any commentator says if he is on Fox. I am quite simply amazed at how people can defend some of this idiocy, making themselves look like fools and only being able to parrot the same info with other like minded fools. I have no problem with people being into politics or following the news, but why they want to believe everything from Fox without doing any research on the topic themselves is beyond me. True insight and debate is officially dead with these people.
Sadly, my own father has become a Beck disciple and every single time I talk to him, he brings up some crazy subject that I’ve never heard presented before and when I leave his house, I check up on it and find it’s a big fat lie. Both Thanksgiving and Christmas were spent by me trying to avoid him so that I didn’t have to talk about Glenn Beck’s insane theories, it was quite depressing. Just last night, I sent him info regarding a theory he was passing around to everyone at Christmas about how the American Indians were related to ancestors in Egypt and Israel, which was blowing my mind that he was presenting this info as fact. Turns out that it’s part of the precepts of Mormonism and is being heavily defended and propagandized now by the Mormon church, since a wave of DNA info contradicting this theory is making them look bad. The funny thing about this is my dad considers himself a “true Christian” and the Mormon church a cult. He was somewhat upset about his passing of Mormon theory along as fact to others, but it won’t stop him from hanging on Beck’s every word or continuing to kill every conversation by talking about Beck’s insane ravings and how truthy they really are.
I really miss the days of honest political debate, or at the least, following the golden rules of civilized conversation and avoiding discussion of politics and religion at family gatherings.

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

December 30th, 2010
11:13 am

Jeff Schultz

December 30th, 2010
10:43 am
Matt “Choke” Ryan — Same warning about race to you. Try to type a comment without the words “white” or “black”

______________________________________________________

What’s racist about mentioning a specific demographic which is a fact.

Okay I’ll say it this way.

The torturer and cat killer, responsible for hanging 22 cats in Florida, based on the Police report, the convicted felon was identified as being Caucasian.

If it appeared racist, that was not my intention – I didn’t see highlighting a fact as being racist.

Please tell me how I violated your policy.

Thanks Jeff.

5150 P.O.A.D.

December 30th, 2010
11:13 am

John2
Schultz is trying to make the inbred locals happy by picking the SEC teams. The only southern team he didn’t pick was FSU but that was because they are playing a SEC team.

John2

December 30th, 2010
11:15 am

By the way Mr. Schultz, thanks for shutting down your blog on yesterday. The comments posted got way out of hand and I can only imagine how worse it could have been had you not deleted some of the others.

5150 P.O.A.D.

December 30th, 2010
11:17 am

Too much Politics on a football blog.
When I read Obama to the WH I thought he was going to work at Waffle House. I think many of the mindless voters thought the same thing. He probably would have bankrupted a WH too.

Vick worshipers are angrah!!!!

December 30th, 2010
11:18 am

Notice how choke isn’t talking about the biggest actual CHOKE game of the year which took place Tuesday night. And also notice he’s not touting all of Vick’s accomplishments. He is typical for people like “him.” :)

Enemas for Christmas

December 30th, 2010
11:18 am

I must say Jeff, the slight respect I had for you, above the other scribes employed by Cox Enterprises. Your blog yesterday regarding Sucker Carlson and Sociopath Vick ruined it. Mostly, it was your stooping to a low level to submit a blog that you had to know was going to foment an acerbic reaction from both sides, then act surprised and disgusted when it did. You suspended commenting pretending to be some savior from all that is bad. You did it to yourself. You should be shamed. You should not be surprised.

Thanks for bumping Mark Bradley to the top of the heap.

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

December 30th, 2010
11:18 am

MIAMI | Sun Jun 14, 2009 12:19pm EDT

MIAMI (Reuters) – A teenager has been arrested in a string of cat killings and mutilations that horrified residents of Miami’s southern suburbs, police said on Sunday.

Tyler Weinman, 18, of Cutler Bay, Florida, was charged with 19 counts of animal cruelty, 19 counts of improperly disposing of an animal body and four counts of burglary.

Police have said more than two dozen pet and stray cats were killed at night in the Palmetto Bay and Cutler Bay neighborhoods during the past two months. In some cases, the cats were skinned or gutted and the corpses left on the lawns or driveways of their owners.

“I sincerely hope that with this arrest, the residents will feel relieved and their cats will be safe once again,” Miami-Dade County State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle said. “It is expected that the vicious crimes that have plagued these communities will not be repeated.”

The killings had put residents of the areas on high alert and prompted them to take their own cats and strays into their homes at night. The Humane Society and Crimestoppers both offered rewards for information leading to the killer’s capture.

gdawginkalamazoo

December 30th, 2010
11:19 am

5150 POAD, then they can always come back to school. The rookie minimum in the NFL more than pays for another year or two of college. Or upstart on a business. I agree though Sturdivant should stay and try to play an entire year before moving on.

The Emperor's New Clothes

December 30th, 2010
11:20 am

Political Correctness is tantamount to Appeasement; it shows cowardice and weakness. I am neither a liberal nor a conservative (there is no party for those of us in the middle). But I abhor Political Correctness, which condemns freedom of expression foremost among all infractions. Tucker Carlson, Hannity, Rush and the rest are a bunch of windbags, but they don’t harm anyone; all they do is talk. Carlson’s comment was over the top, yes; but he is right to be incensed over Mike Vick’s actions. Vick does far more harm than the talking-heads who condemn him. Yet it is Carlson, not Vick, who gets derided (two days in a row) by our esteemed sports writer. What about Vick? He blatantly broke the law by committing heinous crimes of torture against weak, innocent, defenseless animals, just for a laugh. In a nutshell, the man is malicious, cruel, stupid and loathsome. (He does make FOX a lot of money, though; anyone else see the irony in that?) The NFL grooms him and tells him all the right things to say, and all he has to do is run out onto the field and throw the ball, and millions of simpletons adore him. But Carlson simply stated his opinion, and our politically correct, appeasing journalists suddenly have a new target for their denigration. Seriously, what is wrong with this picture? The real joke is that we on this blog, too, must choose our words very, very carefully, lest we be censured (or banned) by Schultz. We let the lowlifes (like Vick) rule our streets and schools, but we don’t talk about it because God forbid someone may get his or her feelings hurt. You may read this and tell me to “lighten up.” I don’t care! See, words don’t hurt anyone. “It’s only sports, let it go,” you might say. But it’s more than just sports; it’s nothing less than our crumbling society at stake, unless a few people with some guts will stand up and “call a spade a spade,” without fear of reprisal from the appeasers. Happy new year.

Dog Gone It

December 30th, 2010
11:20 am

@Choke Ryan- You are a COMPLETE BAFOON. How many people will you tailgate and flip off today?
@Prey Dawg- If you could read you would see I said nothing about the death penalty, just ill treatment some of us Humans have seen. Moron.

JDawg

December 30th, 2010
11:21 am

I don’t know about the rest of you on here, but I’m pulling for Petrino and the Hogs equally as hard as I’m pulling for the Dawgs in these bowl games.

Just try to rationalize these events:

1) OSU’s players violate NCAA rules in ‘09, but get to delay serving the suspensions until the 2011 season
2) AJ commits one NCAA violation, and UGA holds him out of at least one game for fear of having to forfeit games due to having an ineligible player
3) Not only do the OSU players get to compete in the bowl game, but none of the games the ineligible players competed in have to be forfeited

So was UGA wrong in holding AJ out vs South Carolina while awaiting the NCAA’s ruling on him?

what a moron

December 30th, 2010
11:22 am

P.O.A.D.,

So you can’t combat my last comment either? Didn’t think so. Well, if you think being jealous and envious of the SEC and taking childish potshots at them works for you then more power to you. I’m looking forward to sitting back and enjoying watching the SEC dominate yet another bowl season and lock down the conference’s 5th national title in a row.

The ACC is clearly where good coaches and good programs go to die and slow and painful death.

5150 P.O.A.D.

December 30th, 2010
11:23 am

Jdawg the NCAA said the difference was no MONEY exchanged hands with the OSU players but Green took money for sure.

what a moron

December 30th, 2010
11:23 am

JDawg,

Bingo. I was anti-Auburn/Cam until the NCAA put their foot in their mouth with their horrible, hypocritical decision to let 6 OSU players play who committed violations that far exceeded anything Green ever did.

Short Bus Schultz

December 30th, 2010
11:24 am

I wet myself.

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

December 30th, 2010
11:24 am

Mr Charlie

December 30th, 2010
10:54 am
Funny, Matt “Choke” Ryan talks about Ryan “Choking” in a somewhat meaningless game

_______________________________________

Meaningless?

Reality check – if the Falcons lose this Sunday, they will go from hosting a playoff game, to playing all on the road.

Please tell me how meaningless that is :)

The bottomline is, both Ryan and Vick played horrible on games that had grave importance, the difference is, I am not blind to admit when the qb is to blame for losing.

The other difference is, even with a horrible game of 25 for 43, 263 yards, 2 total touchdowns, would be a good game for lesser qbs such as say…… 14 for 29 and 148 yards :)

what a moron

December 30th, 2010
11:24 am

P.O.A.D.,

Not true. They showed how much each player made with their sells. Pryor had the most at $2,500.

5150 P.O.A.D.

December 30th, 2010
11:25 am

What a moron
You forgot the SEC is were players go to get a TOP Notch education and degree. Right?

PreyDawg

December 30th, 2010
11:25 am

Jeff,

Yep. You were right in the first place. Carlson made an idiotic commentary. And we dont claim him.

As for you being a liberal, if you say you are not then you are not. I’ll take you at your word. But even if you were, I would buy you a beer in a heartbeat and we would have a blast. You are funny as hell and a darned good writer. I give props where they are due to all.

Gatorzone

December 30th, 2010
11:25 am

Tucker Carlson is a pretentious DOOSHBAG!!!!
What a silver spooned JERK!!!!