Predictions: Falcons, Dogs, Jackets win; Rex plays footsie

bords 001

And on some Tuesday after Christmas, my bookie gave to me . . .

12 Goodell’s a fining, 11 Shananans a tanking, 11 Kiffins a clucking, 10 Petrinos a oinking, nine more Goodell’s a fining because baby needs a new pair of Porsches!, eight Atlanta Spirit owners a cash calling, seven Favre’s a sexting (five intercepted), six Jenn Sterger careers a flopping (next stop: The Club Bada Bing), five Ohio Staters a tattooing, four Kim Zolciak’s a prowling (step back, Kroy, it’s a trap!), three Roddy Whites a Tweeting, two Beverly Halls a lying and one Rex Ryan foot fetish video but don’t ask me about it because it’s private and that’s why we put it on YouTube.

Not that you needed any more motivation, but ...

Not that you needed any more motivation, but ...

(My wife wanted me to do a Christmas rhyme. But after re-reading “Green Eggs and Ham,” I thought: I can’t top this. So you get a run-on-sentence and maybe some socks. Happy happy.)

We head into the final two weeks of Weekend Predictions. Let me just remind all active members of our investment club that you have kept alive a tradition of failing to mail me my 10 percent commission in time for the holidays, or ever. This information does not come cheap. Pay up or I’ll have Roddy White open a can of whoop-Tweet on you.

This week, the Falcons face New Orleans. Please, no matches inside the dome. Blood-alcohol levels could peel paint. The Saints lost to the Falcons in week three and haven’t gotten over it since. The Falcons haven’t lost a home game all season. Win this and they won’t have to go on the road again until the final game in Dallas.

How many statement games must one team play? Well, here’s one more. Falcons win and cover 2½.

Last Tango in Shreveport

Bowl Appetizers

Take your last look at A.J. Green in a Georgia uniform.

Take your last look at A.J. Green in a Georgia uniform.

Liberty (Georgia-Central Florida): Georgia fans confuse me. I get inundated with flaming emails from one side when I criticize the program, then I get mocked and pounded by the other side when I write that Mark Richt deserves another year to try to fix the problems. Maybe I should just make George O’Leary jokes and then both sides will be happy. Win or lose, you can say goodbye A.J. Green. By the way, what’s a Liberty Bowl jersey go for on the street? Doggies cover 6½.

Independence (Georgia Tech-Air Force): So Shreveport hosts Georgia one year and Tech the next. Isn’t there a bowl rule preventing the Independence Bowl from taking a state school for the third straight year because I was thinking we can invoke the cruel-and-inhuman-punishment clause next season and make them pick from, I dunno, North Dakota. It’s the Auburn-Oregon Alternate Universe: Two option offenses. Oh look, a dive play. Jackets win (take the 3).

Chick-fil-A (South Carolina-FSU): It’s Steve Spurrier against his former Florida rival opponent, the one he once dubbed, “Free Shoes University.” Spurrier accepted this bowl bid only after assurances that Cam Newton would not be in the Georgia Dome again. He won’t, but Cecil Newton will be in the parking lot selling Cam’s old shoes. Roosters covers 3.

Military Bowl (East Carolina-Maryland): The Military Bowl seems like an appropriate game for the Terps, considering they just water-boarded Ralph Friedgen. Terps win, but take East Carolina and 7½.

See more flawless bowl projections on the Sack Schultz bowl contest page.

Tune Time

Learned the other day that Will Ferrell’s father, Lee Ferrell, played keyboards for the Righteous Brothers. So I was thinking, with so many in Bulldog Nation turning on Mark Richt, why not this little tune?

NFL Snack Pack

So next time you accuse of Rex Ryan putting a foot in his mouth, remember: It's not his.

Next time you accuse Jets coach Rex Ryan of putting a foot in his mouth, just remember: It's not his.

Jets at Bears: So a series of foot-fetish videos emerge on YouTube starring somebody who appears to be Rex Ryan’s wife, Michelle. One of the videos is called, “Hot Mature Sexy Feet.” When asked to comment by the warm-and-cuddly New York media, Ryan said only, “This is a personal matter,” and then he smiled at an anchor woman’s three-inch heels (OK, that part I made up). I’m sure there’s a simple explanation for all this. Maybe the Ryans were simply playing, “This little piggy went to the S&M store.” Take the gift 1 but Jets win straight up.

Giants at Packers: Aaron Rodgers has been cleared by an “independent” neurologist to play. You’ll recognize him Sunday because he’ll be the only “independent” neurologist wearing a cheesehead. Take New York and 3 and in a straight upset.

Vikings at Eagles: Are we sure the Vikings weren’t actually in the Metrodome when the roof caved in, because even most corpses wouldn’t give up 40 points at home to the Bears. Eagles cover 14.

Colts at Raiders: Before this season, what would the odds have been that Oakland could be in position to knock Indianapolis out of a playoff spot and finish with a better record? Now that I led you one way, it’s not happening: Colts cover 3.

Redskins at Jaguars: The Redskins just promoted Mike Shanahan from coach to captain. As in Queeg. Jags cover 7.

The Toteboard

football-money

The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.” — Heywood Broun

Last week: 7-3 straight up, 6-4 against  the line.

Bottom dollars: 132-44 straight up, 94-79-3 against the line.

LogoGrass_652173aEnter the “Sack Schultz” bowl contest and win an iPad! The bowls have started but don’t worry. Early games count only one point each and there’s like 12,000 bowls. Click here for more info or go to ajc.com/go/sack-schultz to enter.

Previous two posts in high-def

Roddy White comes across better with words, not Tweets

Atlanta Spirit settles lawsuit — this can only be good news

Follow me on Twitter @JeffSchultzAJC; friend me at Facebook.com/JeffSchultzAJC

160 comments Add your comment

SOUTH GA DAWG FAN

December 23rd, 2010
4:47 pm

so what

December 23rd, 2010
4:49 pm

so what

December 23rd, 2010
4:49 pm

Einsteindawg

December 23rd, 2010
4:50 pm

Second…or 1st loser.

SOUTH GA DAWG FAN

December 23rd, 2010
4:51 pm

now that i have acheived the ultimate 1ST I feel better about my sack shultz bowl game picks I am going all the way.

GT Alum

December 23rd, 2010
4:51 pm

Jeff, you’re expecting rationality from UGA (sic) fans. Many of them just aren’t capable of it. Many of the students and alumni are good, rational people. But the hangers on? Yikes!

ylojkt

December 23rd, 2010
4:52 pm

You pick against Tech in your contest but pick them here? What gives, Jeff?

Mr. P

December 23rd, 2010
4:53 pm

I’ll complain no matter what you write. It’s in my DNA. See I just got this great deal on a DNA shirt from a representative from The Ohio State,

Earl Austin Jr.

December 23rd, 2010
4:55 pm

Earl Austin Jr.

December 23rd, 2010
4:55 pm

Ramguy

December 23rd, 2010
5:01 pm

Off topic here but is anyone surprised that all the Ohio St players will serve their suspensions next year and will be eligible for their bowl game? The NCAA is getting quite the reputation.

60's Dogfan

December 23rd, 2010
5:04 pm

Green Eggs and Ham was written, by Dr. Seuss, on bet, using 50 or fewer words.

Dawg stuck in Bham

December 23rd, 2010
5:04 pm

2012 FEAR THE END

December 23rd, 2010
5:05 pm

Ramguy

December 23rd, 2010
5:06 pm

4 Ohio St Buckeyes suspended for 5 games next year but can play in the Bowl game. Apparently they are being allowed to play because they claim the players didn’t know what they did was against the rules. Anyone buy that?

Moonpie

December 23rd, 2010
5:08 pm

I hope Tech can beat Air Force-as long as Hewitt isnt involved I would feel pretty good with the Tech pick Is Air -Force in the same conference as Sienna and Kennesaw St?

Lou Holtz is a stammering,slurring moron

December 23rd, 2010
5:08 pm

For Christmas I want the Falcons to have a LATE 1st round draft choice. Very Late.

Moonpie

December 23rd, 2010
5:09 pm

Ram guy,

I call B.S Every coach and player in America knew about the A.J deal!! Another NCAA failure!

david

December 23rd, 2010
5:13 pm

Merry Christmas

Einsteindawg

December 23rd, 2010
5:14 pm

This has nothing to do with Jeff’s fine article, but I think the NCAA just sent an engraved invitation for multiple lawsuits with their OSU decision. As I’ve said in the past, the BCS group will become the ruling body for the big conferences, relegating the NCAA to AAU status…it’s all about the money!

Ramguy

December 23rd, 2010
5:14 pm

Moonpie @ 5:09 pm

I agree with ya. I would wager that they are being allowed to play because the NCAA, the BCS and ESPN don’t want to lose TV ratings and money.

Muck Richt

December 23rd, 2010
5:15 pm

I’ve never understood how anyone – even an alumnus – could support and take pride in UGA’s football team. When you look at their history for the past forty years, how can anyone ignore Jan Kemp and the “remedial studies” scam, the Jim Harrick fiasco, the DUIs in the athletic office, the DUIs and other arrests of players, the #1 party school tag (i.e., the most drunk students), the suspensions and outright dismissals, the Fulmer Cup, and on and on?

As disgraceful and humiliating as it is, I don’t see many alums and fans demanding an end to this sordid activity. It sets UGA apart as the kind of school most people abhor, and it’s become an embarrassment to the whole state of Georgia.

Will it never end? Apparently not while Mark Richt is at UGA. Richt is perhaps the biggest hypocrite in the United States. But even with all the cheating and lawlessness that he ignores, he still can’t win the SEC.

So you’re paying him to be BCS champions, but he can’t even win his SEC division. So why do you pay him millions of dollars a year?

Just asking.

Hi St. Simons

December 23rd, 2010
5:16 pm

Merry Christmas to all, except for my boy St. Simons . . . this is for you:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
(((42-34)))
(((9 of 10)))
(((Shreveport)))
(((Blair Miss Project)))
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

The Nature Boy

December 23rd, 2010
5:17 pm

My feet smell like vomit…I can’t stand on 1 leg in the shower to wash them…and I refuse to take a bath…

Moonpie

December 23rd, 2010
5:18 pm

Ramguy,

Going to be hillarious when the Hogs make OSU 0-11 against the SEC!!!

Ramguy

December 23rd, 2010
5:19 pm

@ Lou Holtz is a stammering,slurring moron 5:08 pm
For Christmas I want the Falcons to have a LATE 1st round draft choice. Very Late.

Same here and I lol when read your display name. I agree with that too.

SimpleDawg

December 23rd, 2010
5:20 pm

The Ohio State players who sold memorabilia weren’t instructed properly?

Huh?

Do they not have newspapers up North? Did no one read or hear about A.J. Green’s suspension for selling memorabilia?

Their being allowed to play in their bowl game is an outright sham. If they’re going to be ineligible next fall, they certainly are ineligible now.

Is the NCAA trying to keep the Suckeyes from losing to another SEC team?

By hook or by crook……yes.

What is up with Rex Ryan and his inability to keep from stepping on his @!&#? He is a train wreck behind a microphone. Idiot.

Ramguy

December 23rd, 2010
5:20 pm

Moonpie

I hope so. The Hogs were coming on at the end of the season. It would ruin ESPN’s holidays if OU lost.

St. Clarkston

December 23rd, 2010
5:22 pm

Espn has already given the NFL coach of the year award to Andy Reid.

Einsteindawg

December 23rd, 2010
5:23 pm

SimpleDawg, the NCAA is bowing to pressure from the Sugar Bowl and New Orleans to sell tickets. It is all about the money!

Moonpie

December 23rd, 2010
5:30 pm

Ram guy

No way OSU slows down Mallet and the air assault! Cant wait to see the HOGS show OSU once again who the best connference is!

dawg4u

December 23rd, 2010
5:31 pm

Glad you picked the Falcons to win. Now if only Bradley will pick the Saints, then I’ll really feel like we’ll win. On a serious note, if the Falcons can just keep the running game going with Turner like they did in the first game against them in NO, we should be fine. They’re having probs stopping the run and our OL won the battle against them in NO.

Earl Austin Jr.

December 23rd, 2010
5:35 pm

Earl Austin Jr.

December 23rd, 2010
5:37 pm

Falcons gonna beat the Saints like a rented mule

Rex Gross Man

December 23rd, 2010
5:38 pm

Ricky

December 23rd, 2010
5:38 pm

I know UGA is favored to beat UCF by 7 by most, but they’ve forgotten 1 thing, Murray stinks against winning teams and UCF is a winning team. Murray’s pass accuracy #85 ranked against teams with a winning record, so, UCF wins in an upset by choke 7th game of 2010 by Aaron “The Choke” Murray.

UGA 6-7, winless against teams with a winnning record, with Murray as their leader.

Paul in RDU

December 23rd, 2010
5:40 pm

Nice post Jeff – I love the reference to Stripes on the chalkboard.
GT-AF should be one of the shortest bowl games this year – nothing but running.

Earl Austin Jr.

December 23rd, 2010
5:42 pm

UGA is gonna beat UCF like a redheaded step child

Moonpie

December 23rd, 2010
5:43 pm

Ricky,

UGA will beat UCF like we did Tenn earlier in the year.It will be that kinda game.

Earl Austin Jr.

December 23rd, 2010
5:43 pm

This is Earl Austin Jr. wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a happy Saints beatdown.

The Nature Boy

December 23rd, 2010
5:52 pm

@ Moonpie…I hope you are correct…but I doubt you are..I saw UCF play a couple Thursday night games they can score, and O’Leary can coach…I think the game is a toss-up…

SimpleDawg

December 23rd, 2010
5:55 pm

Ricky, are you still wetting the bed?

Singletary

December 23rd, 2010
5:58 pm

This is NOT Jenn & BF (may we wait at least one extra year for Canton-ization because I’m tired of hearing about him every Favring day.)

We all have our things and — within the confines of a marriage — we leave them alone unless there is pain and injury. Who’s with me? The government and Wikileaks out of my drawers (and socks.)

And to Earl, may I please be allowed to quote you as that was the best greeting I”ve received.

Moonpie

December 23rd, 2010
5:58 pm

Nature Boy,

Time for UCF to walk that aisle! Whoooooooo!

As bad as we are we still overmatch UCF with speed and talent.You will see.

Reggie Ball

December 23rd, 2010
5:59 pm

How many downs do you get in football to get a first down?

Old Tech & Mountaineer fan in NC

December 23rd, 2010
6:06 pm

Hope the falcons beat the saints and then rest the starting 22 and Carolina beats them the next week. Coach Fox goes out with a zing! Watch what a QB addition to a team will do next year when the Panthers start winning…again.

Reggie Ball

December 23rd, 2010
6:08 pm

Old Tech & Mountaineer fan in NC:
Maybe I can be the QB for the Panthers in 2011!
Reggie

Paul in RDU

December 23rd, 2010
6:08 pm

SimpleDawg – The violations by the OSU players occured well before the news broke about AJ and the jersey. Having said that, the punishment in this case doesn’t pass the smell test. I love the “reason” given by the NCAA for not suspending them for the Sugar Bowl – they “did not receive adequate rules education during the time period the violations occurred.”
Wow – so now ignorance of the law is a defense! And who was responsible for the players not receiving adequate rules education – perhaps the compliance department of the OSU AA? Sounds like an institutional control issue to me.

NoCoach Blewitt

December 23rd, 2010
6:09 pm

Reggie .. Stop using the Wi-Fi Get back to work. I wanted two chili dogs, fries and a Orange drink.

6 P.O.A.J

December 23rd, 2010
6:10 pm

1. Dawgs will win. 2. Tech will lose. 3. Falcons will win. I think Tech should move to a smaller conference. They obviously can’t win….even in the lowly ACC.