Weekend Predictions: Falcons win, Saints lose and we dance
Before we get to startling revelations like the Metrodome’s Hefty Bag roof being unable to hold 27 tons of snow (What Wendy’s is that architect working at now?), and Real Housetwit Kim Zolciak saying she’s writing a relationships book (Scarecrow and Kroy Biermann, meet fire), and Jets strength coach Sal Alosi admitting he asked his henchmen to form an assault line on an NFL sideline while he attempted to maim opponents (Did he and Tonya Harding meet on eHarmony?), we spread some holiday cheer:
Festive strippers!
I love Las Vegas. A friend of mine once described it as the United State on steroids, which is true, and begs the question: Do implants count as performance-enhancing drugs?
Wow. I want to go to the North Pole.
Anyway, last year one of the keepers of the strippers bought a truck, replaced the sides with Plexiglass, put a stripper pole in the back and created his own little fun house on wheels for marketing purposes while Santa and his Elv-ettes delivered toys. This worked out really well, until the rolling strip club caused something like 612 accidents and one kid walked out of a Toys ‘R Us, saying, “Mommy, mommy! I don’t want the Play-Doh Fun Factory! I want one of those!”
Alas, some Las Vegas residents complained that the Strippermobile ran counter to family values, prompting the uncaring mayor to respond: “Move.”
Well, the Strippermobile was out again this week, and the young lasses decided to tame themselves. They delivered bikes and toys and were practically full clothed. These wore red dresses and leggings and blew kisses and young boys were still overheard saying, “I’m so done with Play Doh.”
(Transition coming.)
Meanwhile, there will be no strippers in Seattle Sunday. It’s too cold. Just a football game and hopefully no attempts to maim by a psychotic strength coach. The Falcons can clinch a playoff spot if they beat the Seahawks, or the Giants, Bears or Packers lose. More importantly, if they win, the need to beat New Orleans next week for a division title and home field in the playoffs diminishes.
Seattle is coached by Pete Carroll. Would’ve been more fun if Jim Mora was there. The explosions would keep everybody warm.
No matter. The love truck rolls again!
Falcons cover 6.
Another look at Sal Alosi and his gang of thugs
Bowl Season!
(Sorta. OK, not really, yet)
New Mexico: BYU vs. Texas El-Intercepted Passo (copyright, original “Bottom Ten,” 1970s): This bowl is a result of “the culmination of a collective effort of people with a vision in a state on the move.” Question: If New Mexico is a “state on the move” and extends bowl invitations to two 6-6 teams, including UTEP, which lost five of its last six, what does it look like standing still? Because to me New Mexico looks like South Dakota. BYU covers 11 ½.
Humanitarian: Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State: This should be easy for you, Georgia fans: Fresno State is called the Bulldogs. The team with snow tubing, which I believe you can’t do in the San Joaquin Valley. Dogs in an upset! (take the 1).
New Orleans: Troy vs. Ohio: You might say, “What’s this little Alabama school doing in a bowl?” But Troy won its final two games, which I believe puts it ahead of Alabama. Roll Troy! The 1 ½ is covered.
The Advocare Independence Bowl has come up with “Advocare V-100 Shuffle”! Dance, Georgia Tech fans! (Oy?)
NFL Six Pack
Bears at Vikings: The Bears say they wore the wrong cleats in a 36-7 loss to New England. The game was in Chicago. They LIVE in Chicago. Did they walk into Soldier Field on Sunday, slap their foreheads and say, “OMG! Snow!” They didn’t wear the wrong cleats. They wore the wrong heads. Bears cover 3.
Jets at Steelers: This week, Rex Ryan is having players throw leeches and scorpions at any Steeler who tries to make a tackle during the punt return. Pittsburgh covers 6.
Sorry, Mike. Nothing personal. I just can't go there yet.
Eagles at Giants: Michael Vick says he would like to own a dog again. Can’t we just work this like a 10-step program? We start him with a picture of poker-playing dogs and see how that goes. Giants cover 2½.
Saints at Ravens: Speaking of teams with known felonious tendencies, Baltimore Ravens really aren’t all that scary any more on defense. Actual factual: They have blown fourth-quarter leads in eight games. That said, Saints are due for a fall. Ravens cover 2½.
Packers at Patriots: New England has won its last two over the Jets and Bears by a combined score of 81-10. Somewhere, Randy Moss weeps. New England covers 11.
Texans at Titans: Bill Cowher is scheduled to put both teams through drills before the game, just so he can decide which one he wants to coach next year. Titans cover 1½.
♦
Toteboard
Last week (feh): 5-3 straight up, 4-4 against the line.
Mondo overall profit margins: 125-41 straight up, 88-75-3 against the line.
♦
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♦
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347 comments Add your comment
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
12:09 am
DK7 hasn’t won any playoff games for 6 years. Why are YOU talking?
And how many has Ryan won??
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 19th, 2010
12:31 am
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
12:09 am
DK7 hasn’t won any playoff games for 6 years. Why are YOU talking?
And how many has Ryan won??
===============================
I think he’ll win plenty in due course. But, more importantly, I’m pretty sure he won’t get arrested running a dog fighting ring leaving the city and the team in shambles.
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
12:33 am
I think he’ll win plenty in due course. But, more importantly, I’m pretty sure he won’t get arrested running a dog fighting ring leaving the city and the team in shambles.
Because Vick was the MVP of the team idiot, if you take Michael Turner off the falcons then Ryan would be a below average QB because the falcons use the run to set up noodle arm’s quick slants LOL
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
12:50 am
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 18th, 2010
11:35 pm
I know they have the same win/loss record and they are playing at NYC this week. Good luck DK7.
————————————————-
2008 vs Eagles 27-14
2009 vs Eagles 34-7
2010 vs Eagles 31-17
Total score vs Eagles 92-38
Any more questions?
FF284
December 19th, 2010
12:53 am
Matt “Choke” Ryan is honestly the queen of the cut and paste. No, he doesn’t have an opinion of his own but he waits for someone to give it to him like Vick did in jail!
Vick has had one year, this year, where he’s looked like an NFL quarterback but lately he’s looked more and more like the Micheal Vick that choked time and time again, in the playoffs. Just like when he was in Atlanta, Mike has started listening to all those people that tell him he walks on water even though he ends up letting people down!!!!! Matt Ryan has done nothing to let this team or city down. All he has done is provide hope for a bright future. Vick did that once and then he showed the world his true character! Well, if he had any character to begin with.
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 19th, 2010
12:53 am
MV7 for MVP
Because Vick was the MVP of the team idiot,
==================================================
Of course he was: Only an idiot would throw away millions and go to jail for running a dog killing ring.
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 19th, 2010
12:57 am
Matt “CHOKE” Ryan
December 19th, 2010
12:50 am
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 18th, 2010
11:35 pm
I know they have the same win/loss record and they are playing at NYC this week. Good luck DK7.
————————————————-
2008 vs Eagles 27-14
2009 vs Eagles 34-7
2010 vs Eagles 31-17
Total score vs Eagles 92-38
Any more questions?
==============================
2005 8:8 no playoff
2006 7:9 no playoff
2007 Jail
2008 Jail
2009 lost wild card playoff
Any more questions?
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:01 am
Matt Ryan’s Playoff stats
Comp Att Pct Yds TD INT
26 40 65.0 199 2 2
How Pathetic!!!
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
1:01 am
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 18th, 2010
11:53 pm
MV7 for MVP
Wow that shows how bad of a player ryan is if vick didn’t even try his best and he got the falcons to the NFC TITLE GAME, hahahahahahahahah you are one funny vick hater
========================
How many years had DK7 in the league before that NFC title game which he got crushed?
This is Ryan’s 3rd year. You are the one that’s funny.
___________________________________________________________
That was Vick’s 4th season and in his 2nd season you may remember
in his 2nd year, all he did was be the 1st qb in NFL HISTORY to beat
Green Bay on the road and he also finished 2nd in the MVP voting.
And you may remember CHOKE’s 1 and only playoff appearance resulted in
2 PICKS 1 FUMBLE and 1 SAFETY for God’s sake…… ha ha.
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
1:04 am
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 19th, 2010
12:31 am
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
12:09 am
DK7 hasn’t won any playoff games for 6 years. Why are YOU talking?
And how many has Ryan won??
===============================
I think he’ll win plenty in due course. But, more importantly, I’m pretty sure he won’t get arrested running a dog fighting ring leaving the city and the team in shambles.
_____________________________________________________
How can 1 player leave an entire City in shambles, unless of course
that is one heck of a player
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
1:07 am
FF284
December 19th, 2010
12:53 am
Matt “Choke” Ryan is honestly the queen of the cut and paste. No, he doesn’t have an opinion of his own but he waits for someone to give it to him like Vick did in jail!
Vick has had one year, this year, where he’s looked like an NFL quarterback but lately he’s looked more and more like the Micheal Vick that choked time and time again, in the playoffs. Just like when he was in Atlanta, Mike has started listening to all those people that tell him he walks on water even though he ends up letting people down!!!!! Matt Ryan has done nothing to let this team or city down. All he has done is provide hope for a bright future. Vick did that once and then he showed the world his true character! Well, if he had any character to begin with.
—————————————————————
You mean like leading the entire NFL in 4th quarter passing?
or how about this stat……….
The ONLY qb in the NFL that has not thrown an interception in the 4th
quarter this season?
So what CHOKING are you referring to?
HA HA HA
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 19th, 2010
1:08 am
Matt “CHOKE” Ryan
___________________________________________________________
That was Vick’s 4th season and in his 2nd season you may remember
in his 2nd year, all he did was be the 1st qb in NFL HISTORY to beat
Green Bay on the road and he also finished 2nd in the MVP voting.
=======================
That explains all the championships that Vick brought to this city!
This franchise was going NOWHERE with DK7 as QB.
I like their chances with so called “Noodle Arm” QB they got now.
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:09 am
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
Over or Under???? Matt Ryan will throw more than 10 quick slants at Seattle
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
1:10 am
In the last 13 Falcons seasons, Vick is the only qb that has a playoff win.
Now that is truly sad
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:10 am
This franchise was going NOWHERE with DK7 as QB.
So I guess being one game away from the superbowl is NOWHERE???? Keep the excuses coming
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 19th, 2010
1:13 am
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:10 am
This franchise was going NOWHERE with DK7 as QB.
So I guess being one game away from the superbowl is NOWHERE???? Keep the excuses coming
==========================
Ummm that was year what? And, what was DK7’s record for 4 seasons after that game? 8-8, 7-9, jail and JAIL!
I’d say it again, they were going NOWHERE.
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:19 am
Noodle Arm will never win a playoff game and they have to hope luck strikes again with the saints because we all know that the falcons defense is suspect, just ask Kevin Kolb a backup QB to who????
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
1:23 am
Eagles’ Michael Vick, Patriots’ Tom Brady 1-2 in Pro Bowl voting
12:14 PMYahoo! BuzzShare
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With a little more than a week to go in Pro Bowl voting, Eagles QB Michael Vick and Patriots counterpart Tom Brady are the runaway leaders.
Vick leads all players with 981,687 votes while Brady leads the AFC with 947, 194. Fan voting for the 2011 Pro Bowl concludes after Monday night’s game between the Bears and Vikings. NFL players and coaches cast their votes on Dec. 22-23. Ballots from the fans, players and coaches each account for one-third of the voting that determines the final 43-man rosters for the AFC and NFC.Eagles quarterback Michael Vick has played a part in 24 of his team’s 41 touchdowns this season, despite missing three games.
CAPTIONBy LM Otero, AP
________________________________________________________________
“AMERICA HAS SPOKEN”
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:26 am
Vick leads all players with 981,687 votes
I wonder how many Matt Ryan has???? Drum Roll please!!!!!!
Matt Ryan, Falcons: 484,949 LMAO!!!
Vick getting a dog is like a pedophile adopting
December 19th, 2010
1:27 am
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:19 am
Noodle Arm will never win a playoff game and they have to hope luck strikes again with the saints because we all know that the falcons defense is suspect, just ask Kevin Kolb a backup QB to who????
====================
I feel like an idiot for bringing this crap out of Dog Killer fans.
I think I’ll just ignore them and let them join the POS fans that boo Santa and cheer for the Dog Killer QB.
Just one more thing… Please don’t let DK7 get a dog.
JASon
December 19th, 2010
3:25 am
“if they win, the need to beat New Orleans next week for a division title and home field in the playoffs diminishes.”
Thanks for this confusing sentence, which is also not correct. If the falcons win, they can lose to New Orleans next week and still win the division, AND home field throughout the playoffs. Didn’t you read Bradley’s article?
Peta
December 19th, 2010
3:32 am
White America haven’t spoken, Yet ?!??!
Adam
December 19th, 2010
10:25 am
What kind of moron puts choke in matt ryan’s title when he’s 11-2? Some of you are complete morons.
drmondo
December 19th, 2010
10:27 am
Side comment on the Metrodome collapse: Anyone else think it’s a little suspicious that the dome collapse happened while the Vikings are fighting with the state to get a new stadium built?
-Falcons should win today’s game and I’m curious how the Ravens respond against the Saints. Kind of funny that the same trolls who were talking up Flacco against “noodle-arm” switched their love to MV and don’t say crap about their previous savior Flacco…makes you realize they don’t actually care about these guys, they just want to stir up trouble. IGNORE THEM. Jeff, recommendation: if a troll takes over a blog, block them for the week. If they become repeat offenders, then ban them for the season.
drmondo
December 19th, 2010
10:33 am
Notice the same trolls who used to tote Flacco as the best switched their love to MV? I don’t hear anything from them about Flacco anymore. Makes you realize they don’t actually care about these guys, they just want to stir up trouble on these blogs. If MV pulls a “vick” and melts down again, they’ll just turn to the flavor of the month (Sanchez? Brees? Henne?) and continue to spew their garbage. Ignore them, they have no credibility.
Frozen Rope
December 19th, 2010
11:04 am
Wow,, Choke was burning the midnight oil last night hating,,, what a loser,, Hey Choke,, they are letting gays openly serve in the military now,, maybe you should sign up,,,,,
Mike "CON" Vick
December 19th, 2010
11:07 am
I think you must have a highschool dipoloma in order to join the military. “Choke” doesn’t have a chance.
Frozen Rope
December 19th, 2010
11:10 am
Good point “Con” Vick
Frozen Rope
December 19th, 2010
11:25 am
Matt “Choke” Ryan
In the last 13 Falcons seasons, Vick is the only qb that has a playoff win.
Now that is truly sad
You know what is truly sad Choke,, YOU ARE YA JACK WAGON!
Sorry,, I couldnt resist.
Falcons rolling
December 19th, 2010
11:37 am
I love the people that say the Falcons are overrated. So taking down the Packers, Ravens, Saints (ROAD), Rams (ROAD), and the Bucs twice (Home and ROAD) means nothing at all? Dumbasses.
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
12:16 pm
drmondo
December 19th, 2010
10:33 am
Notice the same trolls who used to tote Flacco as the best switched their love to MV? I don’t hear anything from them about Flacco anymore. Makes you realize they don’t actually care about these guys, they just want to stir up trouble on these blogs. If MV pulls a “vick” and melts down again, they’ll just turn to the flavor of the month (Sanchez? Brees? Henne?) and continue to spew their garbage. Ignore them, they have no credibility.
————————————————————-
Some things don’t need to be repeated, but since you ask, here
is what Flacco has that CHOKE hasn’t and will N-E-V-E-R have:
- 1st Rookie qb in NFL HISTORY to win 2 playoff games in same season.
- 1st Rookie qb in NFL HISTORY to lead team to Championship game.
- Has 3 playoff games to Z-E-R-O for CHOKE.
- Has 1 Championship game to CHOKE’s Z-E-R-O.
I didn’t feel it needed to be repeated, but since you asked
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
12:18 pm
Frozen Rope
December 19th, 2010
11:04 am
Wow,, Choke was burning the midnight oil last night hating,,, what a loser,, Hey Choke,, they are letting gays openly serve in the military now,, maybe you should sign up,,,,,
_________________________________________________
I only have eyes for you “BIG BOY”
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
12:19 pm
Mike “CON” Vick
December 19th, 2010
11:07 am
I think you must have a highschool dipoloma in order to join the military. “Choke” doesn’t have a chance
_______________________________________________
Does that mean I can’t be all I can be?
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
12:21 pm
13 Falcons seasons and only Vick has a playoff win…………
S-A-D….S-A-D….S-A-D
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
12:23 pm
So taking down the Packers, Ravens, Saints (ROAD), Rams (ROAD), and the Bucs twice (Home and ROAD) means nothing at all?
The falccons needed luck and the refs to beat most of those teams
Frozen Rope
December 19th, 2010
12:37 pm
The Falcons create their own luck,,, then are Clutch enough to take advantage of it,,,,bad calls by the refs are part of the game,, and that darn football aint round,,, you just never know which way its gonna bounce….
Go Falcons!
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
12:45 pm
then are Clutch enough to take advantage of it
Just like the game in arizona in 2008 right??? Was it Clutch or Choking????
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
12:53 pm
2008 vs Cardinals in playoffs:
2-PICKS
1-FUMBLE
1-SAFETY
When is the last time a qb has had a safety in the playoffs?
That is not clutch that is CHOKING
Matt "CHOKE" Ryan
December 19th, 2010
12:54 pm
2004 & Counting
Mr Charlie
December 19th, 2010
1:10 pm
Opps, somebody threw a pic, and it was not Ice.
Mr Charlie
December 19th, 2010
1:14 pm
You mean 2004, the last time Vick had a playoff victory? Yea, for a guy has been in the NFL for 8-9 years, that is pretty pathetic.
Frozen Rope
December 19th, 2010
1:16 pm
That was 2 years ago Choke,,, lets see, where was your boyfriend Michael Vick 2 years ago. Oh yeah,, prison!! LMAO,,,,
Mr Charlie
December 19th, 2010
1:18 pm
Lets see, Giants bring a little pressure, Vick barely escapes and threw an ill advised pass that got picked. Where have I seen that before?
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:19 pm
You mean 2004, the last time Vick had a playoff victory?
And when did Ryan win a playoff game???
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:21 pm
Lets see, Giants bring a little pressure, Vick barely escapes and threw an ill advised pass that got picked. Where have I seen that before?
How many picks did ryan throw last week vs the bucs?? Was it one or two???
Mr Charlie
December 19th, 2010
1:21 pm
MV7, it is his 3rd year in the league and he is 24, I am guessing from his trajectory of a 19-1 home record, and 3 winning seasons in a row that he will manage more than the 3 Vick has amassed in the past 10 years.
Frozen Rope
December 19th, 2010
1:23 pm
Choke! I see your boy Vick already has a pick today,, MVP,,, hahahahahahaha
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:24 pm
it is his 3rd year in the league and he is 24
Vick got to the playoffs and won in his 2nd season, next question???
MV7 for MVP
December 19th, 2010
1:25 pm
I am guessing from his trajectory of a 19-1 home record, and 3 winning seasons in a row that he will manage more than the 3 Vick has amassed in the past 10 years.
Wow and he hasn’t won a playoff game yet??
Mr Charlie
December 19th, 2010
1:25 pm
It was not just a pick, it was a QB running around like a chicken with his head cut off heaving it down field. I mean, how many times do you gotta see that? DOHHH