Weekend Predictions: Dogs boot Russ before homecoming

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Russ hits the road after a 2-4 start.

Goodbye, Russ.

Having replaced the defensive coordinator, the defensive ends coach, the linebackers coach, the quarterback, several starters, the list of excuses and presumably the adviser who’s in charge of telling players that those cute little pilot wings he got when he was 6 years old is not a license to drink, drive, hit, run, speed, no-show, steal, deny, and sell your bowl jersey to anybody, let alone a guy whose business card reads, “Snidely Whiplash,” the Georgia Bulldogs finally found a new scapegoat for their fall: Russ, The Temporary Mascot.

Why pick on a poor dog?

Hello, Uga VIII.

Hello, Uga VIII.

Russ didn’t ask for this. He was just fine hanging in the back of the Seiler house with the hamster and the goldfish.

Georgia had already thrown his personal life into public

view when they revealed in Russ’s official bio that he was, “the five-year-old half-brother of Uga VII.”

Half-brother? Was there a sex scandal in Dawgingham Palace we needed to know about?

Oh, the pains of being the estranged love pup, the fruit of adultery,

A better option?

Would he have been a better option?

in the house of royalty.

Sure, these things are overlooked when Russ breaks out with a win

over Georgia Tech. But lose to Colorado and Mississippi State and suddenly he’s not worthy of a half-chewed rawhide.

You will get Alpo and you will like it! Away with you!

And now, Georgia welcomes: “Big Bad Bruce,” aka Uga VIII. Well, this should fix everything.

This week, the two-legged Bulldogs welcome Vanderbilt. It’s homecoming. Question: How many times has Vanderbilt had “homecoming opponent” stamped on their forehead?

Enjoy the view, Bruce. You could be in for a bumpy ride. But not this week: Dogs cover 15.

Keggers

Urban might want to grab a dictionary and look up hypocrite.

Urban: Grab a dictionary, look up hypocrite.

Mid-Tennessee St. at Mid-Georgia Tech: Jackets coach Paul Johnson noted MTSU won 10 games last season, which sounds more impressive than saying they’re 2-3 and just lost to Troy, which lost to UAB, which lost to Florida Atlantic, which lost to North Texas, which lost to Arkansas State. (See, isn’t this more interesting than breaking down blocking schemes?) Jackets covers 18 ½.

Mississippi State at Florida: Urban Meyer commemorated Domestic Violence Awareness Month his own special way: He conditionally reinstated Chris Rainey because, while it’s true the player texted “Time To Die, B****]” to a girl, it’s not like it was Meyer’s wife or daughter, because then it would’ve been serious — unless the Gators really needed Rainey, which they do, because they’ve already lost two SEC games, so suddenly it’s, “Oh, these darn kids.” Seriously. Do they not hand out souls any more at coaches’ conventions? Gators cover 7 1/2.

Arkansas at Auburn: Not to interrupt the euphoria in Pigville, but has it occurred to anybody that Arkansas’s wins have come over Tennessee Tech (2-4), Louisiana-Monroe (2-3), Georgia (2-4) and Texas A&M (3-2), and it lost to the only good team it has played (Alabama)? Tigers cover 3 ½.

Really. How could anybody possibly be offended by this?

Really, how could anybody possibly be offended?

South Carolina at Kentucky: Steve Spurrier’s reward for upsetting Alabama is consecutive games against Kentucky, Vanderbilt and Tennessee (combined 1-7 in SEC). Blow this and his head explodes. Roosters cover 5.

Mississippi at Alabama: The Rebels have officially drop-kicked Col Reb into the Red [Neck] Sea. Turns out the other 49 states viewed a plantation owner as a mascot to be as endearing as a Mussolini plush toy. So welcome to the new mascot: Rebel Black Bear. You know, the party might’ve lasted longer if it was Louisiana-Lafayette week. Bama covers 21.

N.C. Central at Georgia State: The first-year Panthers play their sixth home game in seven weeks. Just resting their legs before shocking the world in Tuscaloosa! (Go with it.) GSU covers 8.

NFL 4-Play

Falcons at Eagles: Michael Vick has rib bones sticking out of his forehead but he says, “Don’t count me out.” I’m thinking he wouldn’t have the same level of dedication if it was Bengals week. But you can understand his motivation. The Falcons only gave him wealth, power and status. Ugh. Expect Kevin Kolb to start and lose. Take the 3 and Falcons in a straight upset.

Let's assume Ben will have sobered up by game time. (DrunkAthlete.com)

Let's assume Ben mellows out by kickoff.

Browns at Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger returns from a four-game suspension for being drunk and stupid and possibly a felonious social deviate. What’s the over/under on viewing parties in Milledgeville for this one? I’d love to pick an upset. Can’t do it. But I’ll dance with the Browns and 13 1/2.

Saints at Buccaneers: The Saints are ranked 31st in rushing, 16th in scoring and had four turnovers in a loss to Arizona. The good news is Drew Brees was given over 6,000 suggested when he asked Twitter followers for baby names that start with “B.” You know, there was a time when that might’ve excited Saints fans. This will help: New Orleans covers 4 1/2.

Cowboys at Vikings: Brett Favre has a bad ankle, a bad elbow, seven interceptions (equaling all of last year), four fumbles (doubling last year) and has been “sexting” pictures of “Little Brett” to a double-implant bimbo media member. Wait, it gets better: This week somebody threw Big Brett the football and it inadvertently hit Little Brett, doubling over both Bretts. (Check the video.)  Hello karma, my old fiend. Take the 1 ½ and Dallas in a mild upset.

Brett Favre in agony, Homer Simpson moderating (from “Rick Roll” via YouTube.)

Damn, I’m good

Last week: 7-3 straight up, 6-4 against the line.

All together now: 50-14 straight up, 35-28-1 against the line.

Lock of the week: Master.

“Sack Schultz” Update

LogoGrass_652173aI was a dreadful 9-6 last week, bringing my six-week record to 65-25 (127th place out of 4,669). But look out — I’m just teasing you. Susan Milke of Washington, who may be on steroids, went 14-1. Want to join the fun? Click here for info.

Follow me on Twitter @JeffSchultzAJC and Facebook.com/JeffSchultzAJC

346 comments Add your comment

juvenal

October 14th, 2010
3:09 pm

Tosh.No

October 14th, 2010
3:11 pm

Wow that was a waste of two minutes. No one is blaming Russ for anything Mark, we blame the coaching staff and the players. Period.

juvenal

October 14th, 2010
3:11 pm

you mean the daughter at Tech is safer?

Tosh.No

October 14th, 2010
3:12 pm

Or Jeff, whichever one of you is being an annoying writer today.

C. Tampa Ironworse

October 14th, 2010
3:14 pm

JS…with Boys and Vikes not looking too good so far, at midway point the season, could we see a 7-1 Falcons team and have them considered the fav for NFC champs? Also, the Count could totally kick Col Reb’s backside all the way to South GA.

5150 P.O.A.D

October 14th, 2010
3:16 pm

RUSS isn’t a masculine Nuff name for a read Dawg mascot.
Big Bad Bruce (pronuced with a Lisp) Is a real UgaVIII.
Hey pretty UGA boys can I collar you after the game too.
I will make you MY Big Bad Bruce you dirty Dawg. You dirty Dawg I will rub your nose in it, Bad Dawg Bad Dawg. Do you like it that way? Do You? You Dirty Dawg.
All Cheers for BIG BAD BRUCE he is a Bad Dawg for sure.

aladamnbama

October 14th, 2010
3:22 pm

Russ is a damn fine dog… he just doesn’t like hot weather.Maybe we should use a chihuahua the first 4 or 5 games

Chanticleer

October 14th, 2010
3:22 pm

Is Ben hanging out with Carson Daily? I knew his judgement was cloudy, but that’s just dumb.

MURPHY

October 14th, 2010
3:23 pm

Schultz,

Great article

Tosh.No-just say no! Are you for real with these commnets? Go take a pill or something! Im pretty sure Russ was not offended!

Could we have back to back SEC upsets? Bulldogs(MSU) over Gaytors?
Fell sorry for Ole’Miss this week.

Drabo

October 14th, 2010
3:23 pm

Three days without any arrests in Athens. The suspense is killing me.

[...] webmaster@technorati.com wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

Richt

October 14th, 2010
3:26 pm

Man Big Bad Bruce looks young,maybe we should red-shirt him?

Greg

October 14th, 2010
3:32 pm

Every college game you have covering? Man you are a stupid better.

[...] webmaster@technorati.com wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

5150 P.O.A.D

October 14th, 2010
3:34 pm

RED SHIRT Big bad Bruce? Maybe UGA should Red Panty him after they COLLAR Him instead. That is one Kinky Dawg. he will be at the EAGLE Bar on Ponce after the game. It will be Homecoming for everybody.

Otto

October 14th, 2010
3:34 pm

Redshirt Bruce?

All depends on if he can pick up his blocks.

RxDawg

October 14th, 2010
3:37 pm

No upsets at all? Sorry Schultz, this is the weekend of upsets I think. The SEC’s parity will begin to eat itself from the inside out. Auburn and USC lose.

GSU Eagle 91

October 14th, 2010
3:39 pm

Hey Dawg fans..Have hope….
In 1990, we were 1-3 at GSU, and brought in GUS, our current mascot. We proceeded to win 11 in a row…
If nothing else, Please beat Auburn….No way I can stomach that program going unbeaten after sending us Aundrey Bruce in the 1st round in 1989…

pollywannacrackernoreallyshedoshetoldmelastnight

October 14th, 2010
3:39 pm

Let the UGA bashing begin in 5,4,3,2,……1

5150 P.O.A.D

October 14th, 2010
3:41 pm

Lewis Gizzard said it best. Uga VIII (Big Bad Bruce) is laying on the 50 yardline licking himself and a Uga fan says “I wish i could Do That.” Lewis replyes, “He’d Bite You.” Well, Big bad Bruce might let a Dawg fan do it, but you have to wear Red panties when they do it.
The HITS just keep coming Dawg Fans.
Really? Uga VIII’s real name is BRUCE? Ron White can’t et drunk enough to write stull this good.

[...] webmaster@technorati.com wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

5150 P.O.A.D

October 14th, 2010
3:43 pm

Who Is GSU or GUS? Why did Auburn send A Bruce to you in the 1st round? Is GSU the same thing as SCAD?

juvenal

October 14th, 2010
3:44 pm

poor things are pathetically inbred(the dogs, that is)…..

5150 P.O.A.D

October 14th, 2010
3:44 pm

Polly…………+ Change your name if you want people to read your post.

gandhi

October 14th, 2010
3:45 pm

Big Bad Bwuce??

gandhi

October 14th, 2010
3:49 pm

Big Bad Bwuce???

Ulrich

October 14th, 2010
3:51 pm

Commodores 27, Dawgturds 21.

Wash-Out Ealey fumbles the ball away on the Vandy one yard line with what would have been the winning score.

gandhi

October 14th, 2010
3:53 pm

where’s my post?? you moderate sports comments??

Mark "Crimson Crier" Ingram

October 14th, 2010
3:53 pm

UGA VIII looks like he’s ready for some “leg of tiger”!

I don’t think any person should be saying “time to die bit** (or basta** for that manner)to anybody, but I find it odd that many pundits have put their 2 cents in that Urban/UF should kick Rainey off the team and out of school, but they don’t seem to have issue with the FCC, movie industry, TV networks, recording industry, SAG, computer video games industry etc. that have regularly put out entertainment products with the same kind of talk/content setting examples for “utes” like Chris Rainey.

I hear many fans and pundits calling for “Zero Tolerance” at UGA and Florida, but I think if I was coaching it would be kinda like “cutting off ones nose to spite ones face” to not give second chances, after appropriate punishment, when the NCAA allows the student athlete, that gets in trouble and kicked off one team, a second chance to play at another school and in many cases eventually end up playing against the team that denied the player a second chance.

Caleb Queen

October 14th, 2010
3:54 pm

I promise not to fumble the ball more than three times this week or get arrested again before Saturday.

Now, are y’all happy?

VandyFan

October 14th, 2010
3:55 pm

I am truly a Vandy fan so I have no dog in this fight, but with all due respect to all the UGA haters, is anyone really naive enough to believe UGA is the only team where their players get driving and/or alcohol related violations? Rainey gets re-instated after texting a death threat yet Caleb King gets suspended 2 games for not paying a ticket. Wow…just wow. UGA really needs to research how the other hundreds of schools out there “handle” these situations and make the necessary adjustments.

country boy

October 14th, 2010
3:56 pm

I like Russ. I miss Larry.

Richt

October 14th, 2010
3:57 pm

5150 POD,

Bruce not ready for panties yet? Red diaper maybe. Oh my god-a freshman?

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Davey Hill, Top10 DogInfo, heather jackson, Rhonda Rain, SallyJones and others. SallyJones said: Weekend Predictions: Dogs boot Russ before homecoming: But not this week: Dogs cover 15. Mid-Tennessee St. at Mid-… http://bit.ly/aU3tL3 [...]

Dawggie

October 14th, 2010
4:00 pm

Jeff, your picks are always as conservative as a Mike Bobo 3rd and 12 from your own 27 yard line draw play.

Live a little man!!!

JaxDawg05

October 14th, 2010
4:00 pm

Nothing like Vandy for Homecoming to keep the feelings going. Wait, didn’t Vandy beat the Dawgs a couple years back? At least UGA VIII will watch from the sideline instead of the TV room in Savannah.

MURPHY

October 14th, 2010
4:02 pm

Vandy always give us fits! Expect another close one on Sat.

Russ

October 14th, 2010
4:04 pm

Bruce is a little young looking. Sure we shouldnt red-shirt him and let him hit the weight room for a year? I’ll be glad to stay rather than draw un-employement.

VandyFan

October 14th, 2010
4:05 pm

Thanks for the vote of confidence MURPHY.

5150 P.O.A.D

October 14th, 2010
4:07 pm

Richt
If a UGA freshman girl is ready for a Friday Night in a Frat House, then Big Bad Bruce has to take the diapers off too.

[...] webmaster@technorati.com wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

MURPHY

October 14th, 2010
4:09 pm

VandyFan,

You dont need any. For some reason yall are always a huge thorn in our backside. And most of the time UT’s as well.

5150 P.O.A.D

October 14th, 2010
4:12 pm

Mark “Crimson Crier” Ingram
Big bad Bruce wants some Tiger Leg? I think not. I Da Ho is going to make BBB-UgaVIII the Ho. Hutson is wonder which school he can transfer too and Crowell is going to jack UGA along for a few more months.

[...] webmaster@technorati.com wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

VandyFan

October 14th, 2010
4:15 pm

It’s the SEC so any team can be a thorn in any team’s side on any given Saturday. You guys keep your heads held high…I do believe Coach Richt will turn things around. I have no misconception that all of our players are squeaky clean 100% of the time either.

5150 P.O.A.D

October 14th, 2010
4:15 pm

Murphy the most difficult thing Tech fans found in Nashville was how to get out of the 5 Guys Burger Joint and cross the Broadway to get in the stadium. UGA has a tuff time with Vandy? Why? Do they make UGA players answer LEPORDY type questions inorder to play in the game?

liberaldouc

October 14th, 2010
4:16 pm

You’re a bigger liberal d-bag than I thought Shultz

gandhi

October 14th, 2010
4:18 pm

Bwuce ith tho big an’ bad….um um

VandyFan

October 14th, 2010
4:18 pm

Ah, so 5150 P.O.A.D is a Tecchie. That explains alot. The most obnoxious, arrogant fans in all of collegiate athletics. Go build something Chachi.

[...] webmaster@technorati.com wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]