Weekend Predictions: Even Vegas is down on Dogs
Occasionally, we here at Weekend Predictions, home of the world’s only 100 percent guaranteed financial projections, assuming you didn’t fall for one of those silly picks we just put out there for comic relief, bring in a consultant.
So let me introduce you to my new market analyst, Todd Fuhrman, race and sports book analyst at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, where I once helped fund a significant expansion. I phoned Todd because Georgia opened this week as an underdog to Mississippi State, which is somewhat like the Ukraine opening as an underdog to Lichtenstein. These Dogs haven’t lost to those Dogs since 1974 (1951 in Starkville, when bread was 16 cents. Starkville looked the same, though.).
Trust me. I have a system.
Todd’s research goes back only 20 years but he’s never seen Georgia less than 3 1/2 point favorites. Why is Mississippi State favored?
“It’s tough to get behind Georgia,” he said. “Their passing game is stagnant without A.J. Green, their freshman quarterback has played well in spurts but he’s inconsistent and I think a lot of people were surprised how they came out against Arkansas.”
Can you offer any other tips?
“Sure.”
Where’s the best buffet?
“We have a 24-hour buffet with unlimited access for $45.”
Should I split 10’s?
“It depends what the dealer is showing, but why not?”
Red or black?
“Always black.”
Over/under on Cher’s age?
“Low 60s.”
Back to the game. Georgia opened as 2-point dogs on one line. It has since moved to pick ‘em. Momentum!
If they lose this, you’ll never see another Georgia win predicted in this disturbed corner of the universe.
Athens Dogs win in Starkville.
Devoted reader and commenter “Ted Striker” suggests this strategy might help Georgia ends its 0-2 slump in the SEC.
♦
Faber College
(Where Knowledge is Good)
Gaylord the Camel: He's representin'.
North C. State at North Ave.: Al Groh’s defense rebounded nicely in Chapel Hill. Now the trick is not turning back into Dave Wommack. The Wolfpack has scored 106 points in three games, including eight touchdown passes by QB Russell Wilson. OMG, research. What’s gotten into me? Tech wins but take State and 8 ½.
The G at Campbell: The Panthers hung with Jacksonville State last week. Impressive. Now they face the Fighting Camels of Campbell. Shockingly, a school with “Gaylord the Camel” as its mascot does not award athletic scholarships. Either that or they offer them and everybody just laughs. State by 3, say I.
Alabama at Arkansas:The Pigfaces are 3-0 and ranked No. 10. Ever have one those perfect days and then somebody drops a piano out the window? Arkansas: Don’t look up. Bama covers 7.
South Carolina at Auburn: Gene Chizik said his team needs to be more physical. The last time I heard a coach say that, Mark Richt’s team was getting drilled in Columbia. Take the gift 3 but Chickens win this straight up.
Kentucky at Florida: HBO’s Bryant Gumbel thinks the NCAA should put the Gators on probation for all of their arrests, reasoning: “I’m no legal expert, not by a long shot, but I do believe that driving drunk, robbing a convenience store, and hitting your girlfriend are all worse offenses than dealing with an agent.” I think I suddenly like Bryant Gumbel. Do I need a shot? Gators cover 14.
NFL Snack Pack
Year's over, Drew. You can put the trophy down now.
Falcons at Saints: The Falcons’ defense goes from facing Dennis Dixon and Derek Anderson to Drew Brees. But the Saints are coming off a short week and they just lost Reggie Bush, who has a broken leg to go with his fractured conscience. I have no idea why I’m doing this: Take the 4 but the Falcons win in an upset.
Eagles at Jaguars: Michael Vick is a starter again. The Philadelphia Daily News was so excited that it ran the headline, “Top Dog,” which I guess was a cute play on words, assuming you weren’t one of Bad Newz Kennels’ failed low-round draft picks. Fetch: Eagles cover 3.
Stooges at Dolphins: The New York Jets have devolved from reality show to a Three Stooges episode, when the gun powder accidentally falls into the pancake batter (oh Curly, not again). This week, Braylon Edwards was arrested for driving with twice the legal limit of alcohol and half the legal minimum for brains. Rex Ryan, a walking F-bomb on TV, suddenly says he’s tired of the drama. Seriously? Miami covers 2 ½.
Don't worry, Wade. Jerry's very patient.
Cowboys at Texans: Dallas is 0-2 after going 11-5 last year. It’s the Wade Phillips Market Correction. Phillips still has a chance to pass his father, Bum, in career coaching victories but at this point he’ll be happy with return airfare as a gift. Wrap this: Dallas wins on the road (but take the 3 points).
Lions at Vikings: Minnesota is 0-2 and Brett Favre doesn’t have any receivers. How long before he suddenly says he can’t play through the ankle pain any more? Just sayin’. Vikes win but take Detroit and 11.
♦
♦
Braylon Edwards gets pulled over for DUI. (I could watch this 1,000 times, and probably have.)
♦
Dept. of Hindsight
Last week: 10-1 straight up, 5-6 against the line.
Bottom dollars: 26-6 straight up, 17-14-1 against the line.
Lock of the week: Deadbolt.
♦
SACK SCHULTZ: Dude, this contest is like totally ruining my street cred. Went 10-5 last week. At 31-14 overall. Two guys named Ills (Georgia) and Axmann (Wisconsin) lead at 39-6. I’m pretty sure they’re cheating. If you haven’t played, it’s not too late too humiliate me! Click here for details and then here to enter.
♦
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291 comments Add your comment
Black Toenail
September 23rd, 2010
7:04 pm
Dude, your record against the spread isn’t too good. Stay away from Vegas. UGA Dogs lose again, straight up.
Kenny
September 23rd, 2010
7:04 pm
Maybe 5150 P.O.A.D. stands for Pi$$ed Off At Dawgs, Pansy On A Date or Putting On A Dildo. Either way, he/she needs to get a life. Sheez!!!
JDC
September 23rd, 2010
7:07 pm
Bryant Gumbel should get his facts correct. No Florida player held up a convenience store nor hit his girl friend. A large portion of the arrest were for underage drinking. 90% of the students on a college campus drink underage. Most of the players committing more serious offenses have been dismissed from the team. Like Auburn’s star quarterback Cam Newton. Bryant’s comments are just sensational journalism.
bamaguy
September 23rd, 2010
7:13 pm
I am the total “homer” and believe Georgia, Alabama and Auburn all win on Saturday. I am not just prejudiced toward the SEC, but the Alabama, Georgia, Florida football triangle.
bamaguy
September 23rd, 2010
7:16 pm
I agree with you JDC. I draw a distinction between what I call normal young male behavior (drinking beer, raising hell, trying to impress women) and actual criminal acts.
I am now referring to the Ole Miss Auburn game as the Laptop Bowl.
Fish Fry
September 23rd, 2010
7:25 pm
CMR will say UGA has bigger fish to fry…and crush the NERDS
gtforever
September 23rd, 2010
7:34 pm
UGA wins, I hate to say it, but, my jackets fall. Terrible defense, and the offense can’t out score the opposition…..
Delbert D.
September 23rd, 2010
7:39 pm
So who is the best bet for the Heistman Trophy, Cameron Newton or Jeremiah Masoli?
45ACP
September 23rd, 2010
7:39 pm
Would someone please move the United Nations building to Europe where it belongs.
My gut (not my x-wife) tells me it will be a dog fight Saturday night.
I hope UGA wins but I just don’t know.
DawginLex is a dummy
September 23rd, 2010
7:45 pm
My bad, he a mutt fan.
Delbert D.
September 23rd, 2010
7:53 pm
45ACP – Switzerland would seem to be the logical choice, but their army only uses knives.
5150 P.O.A.D.
September 23rd, 2010
7:56 pm
What is the “Frequence Kenny”? Does M Stipe use that Dildo on you?
Dogs will be in the game and win in the 4th qtr at home.
Matt the Brave
September 23rd, 2010
8:05 pm
I KNOW MAH RAHTS!!!
Delbert D.
September 23rd, 2010
8:08 pm
“On whether being 0-2 in the SEC is a motivational factor:
“I know the guys are desperate for a victory, so that probably takes care of itself. I don’t think that I have to remind them that we are 0-2 right now. I don’t know if that will make a difference right now. Who knows what I might say the day before of the day of?”
I know what I said when I read that: “Huh?”
Adam
September 23rd, 2010
8:08 pm
Three weeks ago the MSU game looked like a lock. Now it looks like a coin flip. Has the program really descended to these depths? Who is accountable for this?
5150 P.O.A.D.
September 23rd, 2010
8:14 pm
Miami is look OK but not great. I hate “the u” and I still can’t cheer for them even if that helps Tech’s SoS.
Adam
September 23rd, 2010
8:15 pm
Fish Fry
September 23rd, 2010
7:25 pm
“CMR will say UGA has bigger fish to fry…and crush the NERDS”
Let’s hope not; we don’t play Yech until November. With the season going the way it is we had better concentrate on winning in Starkville, and each and every SEC conference game after that.
45ACP
September 23rd, 2010
8:19 pm
Yo POAD, what it is?
5150 P.O.A.D.
September 23rd, 2010
8:22 pm
Waiting for my invite to the Cookout this weekend. What time should this TECH fan show-up? HAHAH. It should be an interesting game for sure.
dagnabit
September 23rd, 2010
8:22 pm
Dawgin. I’m just a little shocked that I agree with your picks.
Dawgster_1
September 23rd, 2010
8:23 pm
MSU 31, UGA 27
And that will be all for the dawgs this year.
Bill
September 23rd, 2010
8:26 pm
Braves will miss the Wild card. Fla, & Nationals are all playing for jobs next year and the kids look good. Who will be next Braves Mgr?
Auburn will win by 2 agree on the rest.
Vance Duuley
September 23rd, 2010
8:26 pm
“Who is accountable for this?”
Two words: Mark Richt.
Bye Bye
September 23rd, 2010
8:29 pm
How long is it going to take for UGA fans to realize that UGA is simply no longer relevant in the SEC? In the national picture, UGA isn’t even a blip on the radar, and hasn’t been since the preseason #1 ranking two years ago.
Sit back and be grateful for the seven or eight wins you’ll get every year. Coaching genius Mark Richt may take you to 8-4 or even 9-3 occasionally, but Florida will still win the SEC, meaning no BCS bowls and no top 10 final ranking. Most years, UGA will be very lucky to finish in the top 50, and only after a bowl win over a nobody opponent.
It’s a different world now, and Dawg fans need to adjust their expectations downward to reflect reality.
Unfortunately nothing is going to change until UGA changes its mediocre coaching. That’s where the difference is, and that’s why everyone outside Dawgtard Nation just laughs at Dawg fans getting so excited year after year about what a great recruiting class UGA gets. It doesn’t matter how many blue chip high school players go to UGA, they simply don’t get the coaching they would get at Florida or Alabama, to name two schools whose programs are far ahead of UGA. And that’s not going to change as long as Mark Richt is in Athens.
Get your heads out of the sand and face reality. And mediocrity and irrelevance.
Feel those hobnail boots in your face?
45ACP
September 23rd, 2010
8:31 pm
I think it will be tuff for GIT and UGA.
How are things on the farm? Tractors and everything running okay?
Jerry JonesTown
September 23rd, 2010
8:33 pm
The 0-2 Dallas Cowboys will lose again.
TheTaxJacket
September 23rd, 2010
8:40 pm
*** Nesbitt for Heismen ***
(((( 45 – 42 ))))
DEEP HOLE
September 23rd, 2010
8:40 pm
`
The UGA fans who show up,
need to bring their own cow bells to Starkville.
Spelling Bee
September 23rd, 2010
8:43 pm
Hey Tax Jacket,
it is Heisman, . . . . NOT Heismen
5150 P.O.A.D.
September 23rd, 2010
8:45 pm
doing good. lost my bees this year. Garden was ok though. TY for asking. Headed to bed. To fall asleep watching the u. God that sux.
DSGB
September 23rd, 2010
8:55 pm
I’m sorry, but I cannot stop laughing my a$$ off about the guy on the lawn mower. “Please don’t do that again.”
Douglas
September 23rd, 2010
8:58 pm
I hope my UGA Dawgs lose…seriously. It seems the only way we can force Richt to make any decisions is to put pressure on him…and the only way that seems to happen is when UGA loses, fans stop coming to the game, and folks stop contributing money. I hope they lose the rest of their games even to heaven forbid, the hated gators and jackets. The bleeding needs to really flow before change can occur at UGA football. It’s not like Mark Richt is going to be in the poor house if he loses his job nor the rest of the assistant coaches. No sympathy here.
Barkin'Dog
September 23rd, 2010
9:17 pm
UGA 31 MSU 13
NCST 33 GT 27
Bama 29 Ark 20
Florida 24 UK 21
Lsu 34 WV 27
USC 27 AUB 21
FSU 38 WAKE 17
TENN 31 UAL 13
OREGON 55 AZ ST 17
BOISE 46 OREG ST 24
FALCONS 30 NO 27
since we’re pickin’ here…
might as well throw out my opinion
Stew
September 23rd, 2010
9:18 pm
You insulting JETS prediction is all wet. JETS win big again. They are this years team of destiny!
Jeff Schultz
September 23rd, 2010
9:36 pm
Delbert D … Yes, I only owe money to about half of them.
Jeff Schultz
September 23rd, 2010
9:37 pm
Bill — Hah! You’re funny! OK, not really.
NC Brave
September 23rd, 2010
9:39 pm
I like the picks except GT vs NC State. NC State has the best QB’s in the country and GT won’t be able to keep pace. I think it will be a high scoring game in the 30’s but NCSU by 3.
NC Brave
September 23rd, 2010
9:40 pm
Oops. I meant to say one of the best QB’s in the country.
DawginOH
September 23rd, 2010
9:47 pm
I hope you’re right about the real Dawgs prevailing in this one, Jeff. By the way, on a completely unrelated tangent, the country is not called “the” Ukraine anymore. It’s been called simply Ukraine since the fall of the USSR. Regardless, GO DAWGS!
Old Gold
September 23rd, 2010
9:50 pm
Tech lose big! Johnson on hot seat!
DeeDee
September 23rd, 2010
9:52 pm
If Rambo and Ealey play, UGA loses by 10. If they’ve been arrested or whatever, it will be close.
Rainan
September 23rd, 2010
9:55 pm
Attention, everyone, especially dawgtards. We will now observe a moment of silence in memory of Saint Jan Kemp, who exposed the shameful practices at UGA that were initiated and carried out by slimeball Vince Dooley. Dooley’s image as a coach and a nice guy were forever shattered during the trial, not to mention the one million dollars that dawgtards had to pay Saint Jan. These practices of recruiting morons and coddling them for four years, them tossing them out like garbage, are still going on, but at least the world knows what’s happening in Athens now.
And now, the moment of silence…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Thank you, you may resume your normal activities now.
yeehaw87
September 23rd, 2010
10:04 pm
This is what is about to happen, write this down. UGA will defeat Miss St. this weekend not badly but maybe by 10. When AJ returns, we will gain confidence even though we could have been just as good without AJ. Players will play better, coaches will coach better and we will either win out or lose one more game. Richt will save his job and we will have high expectations for next year. Then the same crap happens again, wishful thinking and still mediocre.
icedawg
September 23rd, 2010
10:16 pm
Bama has a much better defense that UGA. Ark won’t be able to do as they please as they did with UGA. Bama gets the pig. Could the Wolves kick the Bees? I think the War Eagles get the Cocks.
Kramerica
September 23rd, 2010
10:17 pm
MSU 27 UGA 24
GT 24 NCST 20
ALAB 38 ARK 24
SC 20 AUB 17
FLA 31 KENT 13
LSU 31 WVU 13
ARIZ -6.5 lock of the week
SO MISS -5.5 2nd lock of the week
FLA INT +11.5 upset special
Delbert D.
September 23rd, 2010
10:22 pm
For an O-line that averages 319 Miami sure is letting a lot of Pitt guys in the backfield. Oops…Jacory Harris is down hard.
BobDawg
September 23rd, 2010
10:25 pm
I think you nailed the picks this week but, I would not be shocked to see NC State beat Tech and become the sleepy leader in the ACC. Just curious…did they (AJC) give yall a raise or increase the per diem for having to add coverage for Ga. State?
Delbert D.
September 23rd, 2010
10:48 pm
I always get Fla. International Airport and Fla. Atlantic Cruise Lines mixed up. There are too many football schools in that state.
Delbert D.
September 23rd, 2010
10:51 pm
The U has 3 330 lb. guys on the 2-deep. How come they don’t win every game?
Delbert D.
September 23rd, 2010
10:55 pm
3rd string OL in for Miami, Pitt fans out in the parking lot.