Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets open with wins
Now, how’s this for timing? Just in time for football season, scientists at the University of Texas have somehow determined that heavy drinkers outlive non-drinkers. The research might be flawed, given that the study filtered out “socioeconomic status, level of physical activity and quality of social support,” and the last time I checked waking up at 4 a.m. on the floor next to a Waffle House jukebox and smelling like Old Milwaukee and finding a pair of red woman’s underwear in your hand — no wait, that’s another story — tends to impact “socioeconomic status, physical activity and quality of social support.”
They're tired. So tired.
But whatever. Dudes! Keggers!
Hello, I’m back.
You know how it works. Every week, I give you the winners. It’s your job to find them. Sometimes, I “lose” games but it’s all part of a larger disinformation campaign to throw off competing investment firms and non-Weekend Predictions members. If you paid your annual $137 dues, you should have by now received your Weekend Predictions, Atlanta Public Schools, Beverly Hall-autographed key card, which
Beverly says Georgia and Tech each will go 27-0, or thereabouts.
will help you separate the real picks from the phony ones. On a related note, Beverly also is available for Tarot Card readings and she sees massive profits and record-breaking CRCT scores in your future!
Weekend Predictions also has merged with a new company, “Sack Schultz Enterprises,” where you can win fabulous prizes. (Information below.) So welcome back.
Georgia opens this week against Louisiana-Not Baton Rouge. Expectations are high again in Athens, with a new defensive coordinator (Todd Grantham), an experienced offensive line and the possibility that there still might be enough players free on bond to make it through the conference season. The Bulldogs have had eight arrests since March, the most recent involving hit-and-running back Washaun Ealey.
You know, if the leg chains don’t trip them up, the Dogs actually could be decent this year. Oy.
The line says 28. Drink up, I say. Georgia covers.
Week 1 Value Menu
(NCAA Hush Meal: Add fries, a drink and an 80-percent discount on any Steve Spurrier-approved hotel room in Columbia for just $1.)
South Carolina State at Georgia Tech – It’s great that S.C. State wants to test itself outside the MEAC, but these trips can stretch the limits of an HMO. In the last three years, this HBCU has lost games to Clemson and South Carolina (twice) by a combined score of 130-17, give or take a member. Joshua Nesbitt’s Heisman campaign just launched into orbit. No official line so let’s say Tech covers 28.
- Ms. Poppins declined comment when asked if she wrote students’ papers on supply-side economics.
LSU vs. No-No Carolina: The Tar Heels have suspended defensive tackle Marvin Austin for “neglecting his responsibilities to the team,” which I believe means that if he took money from an agent, he’s supposed to divide it equally among the starting front seven. It’s an old Dean Smith rule. On a related note, the NCAA also would like to know why coach Butch Davis’s former nanny allegedly wrote papers for several North Carolina players. Wonder if the nanny is British? Butch might want to start humming, “A spoonful of sugar.” LSU covers 3.
San Jose State at Alabama: Actual research (it happens): San Jose State soaked its turf practice field this week in hopes that it would replicate the humidity in Tuscaloosa. Question: Did they also fly the Packers in to use as a scout team, because I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing that would’ve prepared them for what’s about to happen. No Mark Ingram? Whatever. Bama covers 37 1/2.
Miami (not that one) at Florida: The Gators begin life without Tim Tebow, Joe Haden and, “The Coed Who Played Cover 2.” No wait. Sorry. The last one was just the name of another Brandon Spikes film. Gators cover 35 over Miami (Ohio).
- Urban, you have to let go now. Urban, I’m talking to you.
Tennessee-Martin at Tennessee: Derek Dooley hasn’t coached a game yet but he already has a leg up on Lane Kiffin. He’s bowl eligible. Tennessee-Martin? It’s really bad when a school give you the state and the city right in the name and you still have no idea where it is. No line. But Vols will cover my imaginary line of 14.
Boise State vs. Virginia Tech: If you’re looking for BCS officials at this game, they will be wearing maroon and orange, because they’re already in a cold sweat over the possibility that the Broncos will run the table and mess up their flawed tournament. No worries. Gone back and forth on this one but finally decided Tyrod Taylor, Ryan Williams and Bud Foster’s defense trumps a good storyline. Take the gift 2 ½ but Hokies win this straight up upset.
Samford at Florida State: The Seminoles are 15,000 short of a sellout. Maybe they should just hold another public stoning. That usually packs them in at the Board of Trustees meetings. But Noles win by 20-plus.
*** Bonus Thursday Internet Pick ***
Southern Miss at South Carolina: The Gamecocks didn’t have a nanny write their papers. They just lived in a hotel for next to nothing. That Steve Spurrier is a smart guy. He knew it would be hard to justify a nanny when somebody was already cleaning the room. Hah! A win for the poultry but I’m not laying the 14 on this one. Give me Southern Miss and the points.
♦ ♦ ♦
There’s Still Time To Sack Me!
Did that sound like a desperate pickup line? Oh well. Just a reminder that the “Sack Schultz” contest is underway. You have a chance to win free tickets to the Georgia-Georgia Tech game, a 37-inch TV and a “Fathead” (though not me), just for out-picking me in college football games every week, which or course is not possible, unless I have a slightly imperfect week, which sometimes I do for ratings purposes. My picks for this week are already in. The response so far has been GREAT. The contest is easy and it’s free! Just pick the winners, no point spreads. For complete information, go to AJC.com/go/sack-schultz and register. Just remember that there are Thursday night games some weeks and selections must be in a couple of hours before kickoff (deadlines are indicated). So battle me every week. See if you can outpick your brother, your sister, your wife, your husband, your nanny, your Labrador. And I would not be happy if I lost to your Labrador.
♦
Recent episodes on instant re-post . . .
♦ Braves could lose Fredi Gonzalez to Cubs if they don’t hurry
♦ Francoeur needs to take a hint or he’ll go nowhere in career
♦ Aaron Murray will give Georgia what it has been missing
♦
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185 comments Add your comment
Hankie Aron
September 2nd, 2010
9:01 am
FIRST
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
9:12 am
Hankie — The “first” first of Predictions season. We’ll have to find you a special certificate. And a lollipop.
Old Dawg
September 2nd, 2010
9:14 am
Jeff, thank God it’s football season and your hilarious football column is back — I’m sick to my stomach after watching months of FoxNews for comedic gaffs!
Lowcountry Bulldawg
September 2nd, 2010
9:20 am
O how I missed this column! Love the Spurrier and the Nanny line, classic.
Herschel Talker
September 2nd, 2010
9:20 am
Schultzie:
Urban Meyer lies. Just ask his wife.
HT
DawginLex
September 2nd, 2010
9:21 am
I’m a Dawg but the leg chains line cracked me up.
63-10 UGA
I will settle for 35-0
Go USM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
collegeballfan
September 2nd, 2010
9:22 am
Wonderful piece of writing Schultzie! Maybe your best ever.
So where did you take the writing lessons?
dumb
September 2nd, 2010
9:26 am
what’s an HBCU?
where’s UT-Martin? funny
btgt69
September 2nd, 2010
9:31 am
Jeff, TN – Martin is located in a DRY county in NW TN. That’s why uga won’t play there.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
9:36 am
Thanks Old Dawg. … See, now you’re baiting me on FoxNews. As soon as I say something, Limbaugh Dittoheads are going to come out of the woodwork to call me a leftist pinko or something.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
9:37 am
Lowcountry Bulldawg — Thanks. By the, Julie Andrews had it going on back in the day, don’t you think?
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
9:38 am
DawginLex — Thanks. All in fun.
WreckIt
September 2nd, 2010
9:38 am
Sanford Drive – Seriously? I’m not going to predict Tech’s performance this weekend (that’s Schultz’s job) but for you to post that about Tech and also a teaser comparing UGA and UF to Ohio State and Michigan (or heck even the Iron Bowl) takes your credibility to the toilet. Here’s a hint: your game is popular because it’s an excuse to go to the beach and booze, not because of the quality of whoopin UF puts on you annually. If your blog is supposed to be anything more than mindless fan dribble, you’re dawg ain’t hunting yet.
T3
September 2nd, 2010
9:39 am
GT:28 SCST:6 at halftime.
GT plays 2nd & 3rd strings entire second half.
Final: GT:48 SCST:19
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
9:39 am
Collegeballfan — Actually, I begin writing lessons in a few weeks. I’ve just been practicing for, like, 30 years.
WreckIt
September 2nd, 2010
9:40 am
T3 – Here’s hoping we get the break in the 2nd and 3rd strings this year. Last year was full of lots of close victories, and no rest for the weary!
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
9:40 am
Dumb — historically black colleges and universities. Or were you just playing “Dumb”?
One dimensional dogs
September 2nd, 2010
9:40 am
La Laf will have 2 picks and just like last year, the redneck nation will look like fools. It will get worse next week.
DawginLex
September 2nd, 2010
9:41 am
Wreckit is jealous because GT doesn’t have a rivalry game that is close to the GA/UF game.
Great football
hot women
Lots of fun
Best conference in the country.
Tech doesn’t have anything like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
9:41 am
BTGT69 — Seriously? That’s funny. Maybe they should read the Texas study.
SOUTH GA DAWG FAN
September 2nd, 2010
9:41 am
I have signed up for your contest and when i notice we had most of the same picks i changed mine thats a good strategy right?
Great Writing!
Oar
September 2nd, 2010
9:43 am
The comedic gaffE is living in the white house idiot.
Admiral Ackbar
September 2nd, 2010
9:43 am
Beverly Hall looks suspiciously like James Earl Jones in drag and talks like Darth Vader. How is Lord Jabba Perdue’s investigation going, or are they really working together, as I suspect.
Admiral Ackbar
September 2nd, 2010
9:45 am
Enter your comments here
Joey
September 2nd, 2010
9:45 am
Old Dawg, you should try MSNBC if you like unintentional comedy . . .
Joey
September 2nd, 2010
9:46 am
Oh, and funny stuff, Jeff, you leftist pinko you!
Admiral Ackbar
September 2nd, 2010
9:47 am
Sorry, Darth was tinkering with my computer. Beverly Hall looks suspiciously like James Earl Jones in drag, and she has a voice like Darth Vader. How is Lord Jabba Perdue’s investigation going, or are they really working together, as I suspect.
papadawg
September 2nd, 2010
9:53 am
Why keep showing that disgusting photo of Tebow/Meyer hugs. We all know meyer wasn’t having health problems, he was trying to run away from home to be with Tebow
AlwaysAVol
September 2nd, 2010
9:53 am
Well…when you start learnin them writin lessons, I hope they learn you how to talk good English like I do. I am so thankful for a column that makes me laugh. Too much bad news, too little Schultz…
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
September 2nd, 2010
9:54 am
good times, glad the season has started!!! if boise wins, then you know ESPN will be all over them, demanding a consideration for a BCS champion pick.
PMC
September 2nd, 2010
9:56 am
Schultz… you have to agree though that a hotel with a limo service ferrying drunken collegiates instead of them “emerging from alley’s” in motor vehicles…is just good for all of us.
Alabama Jack
September 2nd, 2010
9:57 am
How do you score a forfeit when one team doesn’t have enough eligible players?
Doofus Dawg
September 2nd, 2010
9:58 am
When the midget, Aaron Murray, throws his 2nd pic of the game Richt will panic and put in Mason. Mason will then fall to pieces. I am calling for an upset with the Lousy-Anna Rajun Cajuns beating the Doggies by a field goal late in the 4th qtr. I cannot wait to hear all the excuses flowing on here then….man will that be funny!
» Blog Archive » Football time! Riches await! Dogs, Jackets start with wins - Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)
September 2nd, 2010
9:58 am
[...] Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) [...]
DawginLex
September 2nd, 2010
10:03 am
doofus,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damon Evans
September 2nd, 2010
10:03 am
I will be selling red panties prior to the game on Saturday to raise funds to pay my legal bills. Show your support of UGA by wearing the red panties on your head during the game. Or you can just hold them in your lap like I did.
Vixzilla
September 2nd, 2010
10:07 am
Thank
God Football season is here. I feel all warm and Fuzzy inside………I did eat a live cat this morning though.
Murphy
September 2nd, 2010
10:08 am
Great article as usual Jeff. I have not had this much fun reading articles since the days of my favorite Lewis Grizzard. Well done,keep them comming.
PTC DAWG
September 2nd, 2010
10:09 am
LOL at the Petrino comment on the board. Good stuff.
1eyedJack
September 2nd, 2010
10:11 am
How ’bout you Tech Zombies post with your usual names so we can come back after Saturday and make fun of your stupidity.
I'm just holding these red panties for her...
September 2nd, 2010
10:12 am
Glad football is here but all the games pit tanks against butter knives!
DDPO
September 2nd, 2010
10:13 am
I have a feeling that UGA will pitch a shut out this weekend.
Lowcountry Bulldawg
September 2nd, 2010
10:13 am
Jeff, If she was my nany back in the day she could have left a British accent on me anytime!
1eyedJack
September 2nd, 2010
10:14 am
And Jeff, it’s a good idea that you stick to writing humorous football columns and stay away from political observations….since you suck at that.
Joey
September 2nd, 2010
10:14 am
Enter your comments here
Lowcountry Bulldawg
September 2nd, 2010
10:15 am
She also had some long fingers to wrap around your pencil for extra help in practicing your writing technique…
DP
September 2nd, 2010
10:17 am
“Sometimes, I “lose” games”
Sorry Jeff, on internet forums it is more commonly spelled “loose”.
Football time! Riches await! Dogs, Jackets start with wins – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) | Best Dog Online
September 2nd, 2010
10:17 am
[...] webmaster@technorati.com wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]
john Boy
September 2nd, 2010
10:19 am
Hey Schultz, i guess working for the AJC you need an extra buck on your pickem contest, but you guys want way to much personal information for a 37″ tv.
Panther
September 2nd, 2010
10:20 am
Jeff, where’s the pick for the “Clash of the Titans”, GSU vs Shorter?
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
10:20 am
Thanks, Murphy. Had a chance to spend a little time with Lewis when I first got here. Funny guy.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
10:21 am
PTC — Thank you. Petrino — easy target.
Football time! Riches await! Dogs, Jackets start with wins – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) | Dog Online Blog
September 2nd, 2010
10:22 am
[...] webmaster@technorati.com wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt [...]
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
10:23 am
Panther — Sorry, didn’t have enough film on either school to break it down. (Hah!) I’ll get Georgia State in next week and beyond, though.
db
September 2nd, 2010
10:25 am
Jeff – How about a fantasy matchup with Louisiana Monroe (6-6) and South Carolina State (10-2)?
JDW
September 2nd, 2010
10:28 am
Jeff wrote,
“Actually, I begin writing lessons in a few weeks. I’ve just been practicing for, like, 30 years.”
Save the cash! If this is where you are after 30 years lessons won’t help. Try reading some old classics, maybe Bisher for insight and Grizzard for humor and then channel.
Dirty Dawg
September 2nd, 2010
10:28 am
Hey Schultz, when are you gonna publish an ‘over/under’ on how many days after the first Florida loss it’ll be before Urban has another ‘breakdown’ and ‘pulls a palin’ on the Gator faithful?
GStateBen
September 2nd, 2010
10:31 am
Jeff! No Georgia State pick! Come on man!
Georgia State Fever is growing. We are expecting nearly 25,000 tonight.
Bob Didier Caught Here
September 2nd, 2010
10:31 am
Shultize!
Glad to see that you have found your razor sharp wit again just in time for the College Football Season. The Houston Nutt line about “Up with people” had me rolling on the floor here at work!
Seriously, when I saw your acronym for HBCU it reminded me of a mortgage bank that we service here at work.
BTW, I think you are right about Va Tech! Yeah, the NCAA munchkins will be sweating this game out!
Rad Penties
September 2nd, 2010
10:32 am
Jeff, you get funnier every year!
You know, if the leg chains don’t trip them up, the Dogs actually could be decent this year.
The probation officers remove the leg irons before the game, but it’s those darn heavy ankle monitoring bracelets that really slow down the dawgs.
And trying not to trip on all the red panties littering the field.
Russ, the Temporary Mascot
September 2nd, 2010
10:33 am
Well, I say it’s a lock that the coaches and at least nine of the La-La players will have wet lower legs by the time they leave Sanford Stadium Saturday. Old Russ knows how to be a good Dawg fan.
FHDawg
September 2nd, 2010
10:33 am
Hell yea DAWGS! In the meantime, they are picking up the charity work ehh? http://www.UGAKickoff.com/dawgforaday I wonder what this will go for? It ends at noon Friday. GAMEWEEKEND baby!
Russ555
September 2nd, 2010
10:35 am
I can generally beat everyone I know except my black lab. Don’t know where he gets his information. I’ll find out. That rascal.
Daphne
September 2nd, 2010
10:35 am
Will the dawgturd players be wearing their red panties on Saturday, or will those be reserved for SEC games only?
Old School
September 2nd, 2010
10:36 am
Football season is the greatest time of the year! And one of the best things about it are your weekly predictions column. Very witty with just a bite of sarcasm added. You have been cracking me up for years! Like @Murphy I too thoroughly enjoyed Lewis. Nobody will ever take his place, but as far as your columns it’s about as close as the AJC will ever get. Great job, Jeffrey!! Stay thirsty, my friend.
What the......
September 2nd, 2010
10:43 am
Did someone compare you to Lewis Grizzard? That person should be taken out back and shot. You may have your moments, but you sir, are no Lewis Grizzard.
Damon Evans
September 2nd, 2010
10:46 am
Remember, all you dawgtards who are going to the game: You drink, you drive, you lose!
Now can I have my old job back?
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
10:47 am
DB — That’s no fantasy of mine!
red ryder
September 2nd, 2010
10:48 am
Funny stuff Jeff- glad it finally arrived-been a long hot summer.
db
September 2nd, 2010
10:48 am
Funny Damon!
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
10:50 am
JDW … Read ‘em all, bud. Read ‘em all. Bisher, Grizzard, Jim Murray, Red Smith, Bob Verdi, Leigh Montville, Mike Royko and on. Also Dr. Seuss. A LOT of Dr. Seuss.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
10:51 am
GStateBen — Sorry, Ben. Like I said, Panthers will be in Predictions next week.
Bulldog
September 2nd, 2010
10:51 am
I am happy my school is playing outside the MEAC being that they have no competition inside the MEAC. So what they lost to bigger schools at least they have the “nads” to play them. Football is back finally…lets enjoy the game openers.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
10:51 am
Bob Didier — Thanks. And that bank would be HBSC, correct?
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
10:52 am
Russ555 — See, that’s the thing about Labs. I’m pretty sure they just act dumb.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
10:53 am
What the … That’s true. Our estates don’t look anything alike.
HugoStiglitz
September 2nd, 2010
10:57 am
I cant wait to see GTs second and third string play most of the game and obliterate SC State. The first week of college football is so boring, outside of a couple of select games.
jumbeauxtiger
September 2nd, 2010
11:00 am
It’s great to have this column back Jeff. I have to disagree with you on Virgina Tech though. I think Boise St covers.
Geaux Tigers
Go SEC
AlwaysAVol
September 2nd, 2010
11:03 am
Anybody that has an ugly blue field will never win a national championship. Too many of the judges and voters spend too much time trying to adjust their TV set to watch the game.
JDW
September 2nd, 2010
11:06 am
Well Jeff, maybe you need to read them again…I just don’t recall any of them resulting to lines like:
You know, if the leg chains don’t trip them up, the Dogs actually could be decent this year.
Or
NCAA Hush Meal: Add fries, a drink and an 80-percent discount on any Steve Spurrier-approved hotel room in Columbia for just $1
Or
“neglecting his responsibilities to the team,” which I believe means that if he took money from an agent, he’s supposed to divide it equally among the starting front seven. It’s an old Dean Smith rule.
Or
Maybe they should just hold another public stoning. That usually packs them in at the Board of Trustees meetings.
As a journalist aren’t you suppose to be a bit above the fray instead of resorting to piling on and cheap sensationalism in an attempt for laughs?
How stupid can TI be?
September 2nd, 2010
11:07 am
Leg chains comment was funny. Good burn on Urban….
Paul in RDU
September 2nd, 2010
11:09 am
Excellent column Jeff – witty as ever.
I’m glad you read plenty of Royko. My housemate at GT was from ChiTown and he turned me on to him. One of the true greats.
Teacher, Too
September 2nd, 2010
11:11 am
Although I really miss the Count, I wouldn’t trade it for the Weekend Predictions. I am counting down the minutes, seconds…until kick-off tonight! WHA-HOO! College football is back!
Go Gators!!
Bub
September 2nd, 2010
11:11 am
JDW – chill out man you’re taking things WAY too seriously…
RxDawg
September 2nd, 2010
11:15 am
I joined your contest Jeff. Your going down in a firery ball of flames. But don’t worry, I’ll retire after a perfect season and leave you underlings to have fun picking games again next year.
RxDawg
September 2nd, 2010
11:20 am
“Derek Dooley hasn’t coached a game yet but he already has a leg up on Lane Kiffin. He’s bowl eligible. ”
Burn
Wrecktum
September 2nd, 2010
11:23 am
Like it, Jeff. Funny guy. I hope VA Tech makes Boise look bad. Because the ACC needs to start winning these high-profile games, and a floundering/’what the (edit) happened to our football team’ UNC looks like they are about to get smashed by a very angry (though still stupid) Les Miles.
VP
September 2nd, 2010
11:23 am
Schultzie,
Shame on you for not picking the inaugural game of the Georgia State Panthers. Were you scared off by the line for the game?
Do you dawg fans claim this guy?
September 2nd, 2010
11:24 am
devildawg
September 2nd, 2010
11:09 am
tell me again
September 2nd, 2010
11:25 am
Not worth saying anything about Tech – they are the definition of the word irrelevant in this state – soon GSU will have a better football team. But here is the scoop – if our D shows a healthy amount of improvement this year – we’ll be in the top 10 mix by the end of the year. GO DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!!
JDW
September 2nd, 2010
11:25 am
Maybe Bub maybe. On the other hand maybe taking things that are serious and turning them into jokes perpetuates the overall lack of civility in society today.
Paul H
September 2nd, 2010
11:27 am
Jeff, when I saw Mary Poppins as a little kid I never realized how hot she was!
devildawg
September 2nd, 2010
11:27 am
Why, because I said what everyone else wanted to say? Coward. No one has to claim me. I cheer 24-7-365. You could learn a thing or two. Punk.
Do you dawg fans claim this guy?
September 2nd, 2010
11:29 am
Learn from you about how to be a racist? I’d rather not
Hankie Aron
September 2nd, 2010
11:30 am
thanks Jeff. I’ll be looking for the certificate and UGA red cherry lollipop
74 Dawg
September 2nd, 2010
11:33 am
Hey Jeff, great column .I didn’t realize I could enter my Lab’s picks. That would almost be cheating.
DDPO
September 2nd, 2010
11:38 am
It’s funny to see someone citing cowardice when they are hiding behind a moniker/handle…
Washun Ealey
September 2nd, 2010
11:38 am
I hit and run this state…GO DAWGS!!!
Bob Didier Caught Here
September 2nd, 2010
11:40 am
I do not know who Devildawg is but being a lifelong UGA fan and supporter we do NOT claim him as one of our own! While I may not agree with Shultzie on everything I do defend his right to his own opinion. Although he probably doesn’t need my defending.
I enjoy reading everyone’s posts and yes I even get a chuckle or two out of them but antisemitism has no place on here…..get a grip bro!
Old Dawg
September 2nd, 2010
11:42 am
Jeff: Better a leftwing pinko than a Empty-headed numbskull. Or Darth Rupert.
Paul in RDU
September 2nd, 2010
11:42 am
I think Jeff needs to watch out for contestants from the Oberhausen Sea Life Center.
This guy had batted 1.000 during the World Cup and he does have an agent now.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/23/paul-the-octopus-hires-ag_n_657762.html
Cracker Jacket
September 2nd, 2010
11:42 am
There is absolutely nothing wrong with drinking. It goes with football like gravy goes with biscuits. However, some folks don’t know when to stop. Therin lies the problem. SALUT!!!!!!!!!
DDPO
September 2nd, 2010
11:43 am
It’s ok Bob. I doubt he graduated from UGA. But he accomplished what he wanted to do, which was generate responses to his ignorance.
Delbert D.
September 2nd, 2010
11:45 am
Jeff That’s not “Beverly,” it’s an early photo of Mao Zedong.
Ted M
September 2nd, 2010
11:47 am
Jeff,
Quite surprised you left GSU off your first 2010 installment (no NFL too) of weekend predictions.
What’s the rationale there?
Booyah
September 2nd, 2010
11:48 am
Jeff – thank you for NOT picking the Georgia State game this weekend – no one cares about them – completely irrelevant.
Delbert D.
September 2nd, 2010
11:51 am
I believe Tennessee-Martin is a small town on the French end of St. Martin.
Ted M
September 2nd, 2010
11:53 am
Just read replies to panther and others
DP
September 2nd, 2010
11:56 am
Please leave devildawg’s posts so everyone can laugh at him. Not surprising that a hatemonger who is foaming at the mouth about a “dirty Jew” is too stupid to know when to use “your” or “you’re”.
Not Disappointed
September 2nd, 2010
12:03 pm
Let’s do this Schutz! Ramblin Wreck!
bdawge71
September 2nd, 2010
12:06 pm
dear fans, i think THE CONCRETE COLLEGE will win 222-0. RUSS and the DAWGS will of course win 38-13. next the nerds will come out screaming about too much partying in A TOWN. let the nerds go over to n avenue and grab a dog to snort at the V. 10-4 for now.
jp
September 2nd, 2010
12:07 pm
get over pertino schultz, everybody else has.
Mike F
September 2nd, 2010
12:11 pm
I LOVE weekend predictions. In high school economics class, we used to have to find news article in the AJC that relate to economics. Not me, I went straight for the Jeff Schultz section. Bonus: my teacher was Scott Woerner’s wife
5150 P.O.A.D
September 2nd, 2010
12:15 pm
Jeff UGA opens with a WEAK(you misspoke) LA team. Sans Leg chains uga wins by 17.
High Tide
September 2nd, 2010
12:20 pm
Great laughs. One of the few sites I can surf at work. Thanks.
RTR!!!
5150 P.O.A.D
September 2nd, 2010
12:21 pm
Jeff what is your Pick in the GSU game? When are we going to get a GSU Blogger and sports vent? Will you get on that fast. Don’t threat GSU like the FRENCH. ahah no real poke at your family heritage. Keep up the good work, but where is the pic of a hot chick from UCF?
Old Dawg
September 2nd, 2010
12:26 pm
Joey: Sorry, MSNBC isn’t comedy … it’s tragic farce!
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
12:32 pm
Hey, I may get all my predictions coorect,
but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.
I dont do commercials
September 2nd, 2010
12:35 pm
Hi, my name is Jeff Schultz
I may not get all my predictions correct,
but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.
Hey Jeff
September 2nd, 2010
12:36 pm
Come to Columbia where,
U – U
S – Stay
C – Cheap
5150 P.O.A.D
September 2nd, 2010
12:50 pm
Hey Jeff why not got to UGA where,
U – You
G – Get
A – Arrested
Learn how to spell and DOG doesn’t have a W in it.
When to stop
September 2nd, 2010
1:06 pm
1)Its when you run outta alcohol and its 2 in the morning!
2)Or when you pick yourself up after trying to do a belly flop in the living room after King and Ealey put another 300 yards rushing up against Tech.
DawginLex
September 2nd, 2010
1:08 pm
Poor
Old
Addicted
Dummy
5150? Can’t remember his age or his waist line.
1eyedJack
September 2nd, 2010
1:18 pm
Probably
Only
Answers to
Doofey
5150 P.O.A.D
September 2nd, 2010
1:31 pm
Urinate(P) On A Dawg. 5150 is the police call for a Crazy person. My waist is still 30 and my inseam is 34 I still weight 168lbs. How bout U lex?
1eyed don’t you mean:
Probably
Only
Answers to
Dooly
5150 P.O.A.D
September 2nd, 2010
1:33 pm
Vunce Dooley is so happy that now he can wear his true Auburn colors. Well just the ORANGE parts. He is so sick of people outside of Athens thinking he is a Tiger Woods fan when he wears red-n-black.
reality
September 2nd, 2010
1:37 pm
Those “leg chains” will get mighty heavy in week 2 against the cocks.
reality
September 2nd, 2010
1:37 pm
Enter your comments here
reality
September 2nd, 2010
1:38 pm
Those leg chains will get mighty heavy in week 2 against SC.
Pago Pago Dawg
September 2nd, 2010
1:40 pm
The DAWGS should win, but probably not by 29 points?
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:46 pm
JDW — No, I’m not above the fray, particularly not in Weekend Predictions, a warped tradition built on “piling on and cheap sensationalism in an attempt for laughs,” thank you very much.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:47 pm
Paul in RDU: Royko on beer: “No matter what the secret brewing process is, it tastes like it was run through a horse.”
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:47 pm
Thanks, Teach.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:48 pm
RX Dawg — Good luck, my man.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:49 pm
Wrecktum — If NC has half the team on the sideline and Les Miles blows this game, he may not make it out of the parking lot.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:49 pm
VP — Line for the game? What line?
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:50 pm
Paul H — I have found that to be the case for many “mom” or “nanny” actresses when I was a youth, as I look back.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:51 pm
74 Dawg — Just be prepared, Lab will pick all of the canine teams.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:52 pm
Ted M — It’s a Thursday game so it wouldn’t have been in print anyway, and how do I come up with a pointspread for State-Shorter? But I guess I’ll have that issue all year with them.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:54 pm
JP — There’s a difference between “getting over” somebody and believing he deserves to be mocked and ridiculed. Petrino will deserve to be mocked and ridiculed for the next 97 years. Any other questions, bunky?
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:55 pm
Mike F — Wow, how did you/I do in class?
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
1:56 pm
POAD — 1) I’ll take G-State just because; 2) We have a GSU blogger who started today, Ken Suguira; 3) Don’t know about vent.
Woodstock Dawg
September 2nd, 2010
1:57 pm
Good stuff Jeff! Lighten up JDW. If you can’t laugh at yourself you’re in for a miserable life.
I can’t wait for the games tonight..Football season is finally here!!
HA
September 2nd, 2010
2:09 pm
D – Damn
A – Another
W – Worthless
G – Goober
Buck N. Kincaid
September 2nd, 2010
2:49 pm
We don’t have any predictions on football, we are too busy talking about ICE HOCKEY – we are the voice of the Thrashers, man! Let’s talk some ICE HOCKEY, the season starts in about a month, man. Why talk about THUG-Dawgs playing some high school team from La when you can listen to us love all over the Thrasher GM?
5150 P.O.A.D
September 2nd, 2010
2:50 pm
Jeff will you post what I (Johnny M Knight) said on your FB Twitter post? AHHAA We WANT a J S Hottie PIC to give your PICKS. I know there has to be a HOOTERS (near your home) that you can a Chick to pose for you. Tell your wife I will take her to Dinner at BONES or La Gratto if she will let you give US some EYE CANDY. I will the Serigo to give your wife the Cheap wine list but please don’t tell her.
DawginLex
September 2nd, 2010
3:05 pm
5150,
I’m still concerned over the fact that you agreed with one of my posts on the Ga state blog……….
6′4″ 230lbs 38 inch waist Ding!
Hairy Dawg
September 2nd, 2010
3:07 pm
Schultz,
Might wanna check out this article:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=lukas/100901_college_football_update
That Boise State-Va. Tech matchup is going to blind some people.
papadawg
September 2nd, 2010
3:36 pm
Not hard to pic Tech and Georgia to win but I think Tech D is going to give up more than you might think
albie
September 2nd, 2010
3:45 pm
Big Bev looks like sho could be ugga’s cousin…then again that’s an insult to ugga….
Techie567
September 2nd, 2010
3:51 pm
My friend’s wife is having a little baby boy.
They are already going to get him UGA gear to wear.
I strongly recommended they get an abortion instead.
JDW
September 2nd, 2010
3:52 pm
Jeff wrote:
“No, I’m not above the fray, particularly not in Weekend Predictions, a warped tradition built on “piling on and cheap sensationalism in an attempt for laughs,” thank you very much.”
No worries then, but don’t be disappointed in a few years when no one suggests to the new guy that a perusal of your work might be beneficial.
GT VET
September 2nd, 2010
3:57 pm
Funny stuff Jeff,but I think the Dogs beat La.Laf.by 23…Jackets cover(your line) but may be a bit closer after 2nd and 3rd string play most of 2nd half.I broke down and bought an AJC the other day,and it cost $1.25 for a weekday paper.I guess mindless drivel dosen sell much anymore huh.Why dont you Jeff,restart the Atlanta Journal?Leave the Liberals behind and ohh sorry I forgot…never mind!!Dont drink and drive this weekend football fans,but if you do,make sure your in the car..GO JACKETS!!!!!
JDW
September 2nd, 2010
3:58 pm
Woodstock DAWG, laughing at yourself is fine…see Lewis Grizzard. My point was making sport of others might not be the best thing for a columnist to do. But hey, readership is up and the paper is doing well…isn’t it?
Dawgs Suck
September 2nd, 2010
4:05 pm
Did UGA ever find a qb?
Dawgs Suck
September 2nd, 2010
4:07 pm
CNNSI picked UGA as the surprise team in the SEC. They also picked the Boston Red Sox to win the World Series at seasons end.
5150 P.O.A.D
September 2nd, 2010
4:09 pm
Ding Dind Ding the scale is tipping LEX! ahahahhah
5150 P.O.A.D
September 2nd, 2010
4:14 pm
Lewis Gizzard— Danm I think that CAT will hutr UGA VIII. I Know he will make Russ’ butt lose the red paint over the Blood red Scraches.
Wagtheworld.com » Football time! Riches await! Dogs, Jackets start with wins – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)
September 2nd, 2010
5:40 pm
[...] Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog) [...]
Coolest in the Clutch
September 2nd, 2010
5:54 pm
.
——————————
NESBITT for HEISMAN
——————————
.
Deja vu all over again: Braves, Hudson try to sweep Mets | Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
6:16 pm
[...] ♦ Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets open with wins [...]
Ted Striker
September 2nd, 2010
6:46 pm
Dude. You owe me a beer. FIFO accounting or LIFO accounting, I’m fairly certain you owe me.
Patrick
September 2nd, 2010
7:09 pm
Great article, Jeff!!! I almost split my gut over the Beverly Hill mention. What a wit! Please keep ‘em coming!
Layfeyette Freight Train:
September 2nd, 2010
7:31 pm
Go Ragin Cajins! LMFAO! UGAG is playing a High School!
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
7:44 pm
5150 POAD — You mean this?
Johnny Knight You need to find some girls to do photo shoots for your Count page and the predictions page. Like AXIS does with the UCG girls. I know you would like hiring the girls but I am sure the wife would have issues. HAHAHAHHA
And this?
Johnny Knight
It is all good YOU are JUST WORKING. Well, You acan try to sell it that way. I mean Damon said he was just giving a friend a ride home and Paris said none of that STUFF was hers but the CASH. HAHAHA. SELL it good Jeff and you can be a marr…ied mans GOD. LOL
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
7:46 pm
Ted Striker — one day, ours eyes shall meet over hops and barley.
Jeff Schultz
September 2nd, 2010
7:52 pm
Patrick — Thanks. Send me the cleaning bill.
Bo in North Carolina
September 2nd, 2010
9:39 pm
Jeff, great column. Expect to see more like it.
robdawg08
September 2nd, 2010
10:06 pm
Dang Jeff, don’t go so far out on a limb picking Dawgs & Tech to win against high school teams…
Cuz
September 2nd, 2010
10:11 pm
Jeff, I think you missed the point spread on the Carolina game. Just saying.
Saint Simon
September 2nd, 2010
10:17 pm
(((((((((((((((( UGA 30 – GT 24 ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE RUN THIS STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!
whatfor
September 2nd, 2010
11:16 pm
Come on, Schultz – do you not believe that their are “nannies” at uga that don’t write papers for uga players? That is a laugh. When attending uga I knew several girls who would not only write the papers for many of the players, but also do most of their homework for them – in classes where homework was required. That is why I’m not a big fan of college football today – much less uga football – I saw all the bullcrap that the players got away with – most who should not have been at uga (much less any other college) anyway.
Paul in RDU
September 3rd, 2010
12:34 am
Jeff – Greatest Royko column ever – his one about Indiana.
12-2
September 3rd, 2010
2:31 am
Georgia tek has LOST 446 football games
Georgia has lost 389
Georgia State never has lost a football game, ever
12-2
September 3rd, 2010
2:41 am
Every single time I see the LAME Josh Nesbitt for Heisman Trophy, I am reminded that Georgia tek NEVER HAS, EVER.
# 116 Passing Offense Georgia tek
# 75 Total Offense Josh Nesbitt
36 games Josh Nesbitt has played.
11 of the 13 Losses by Georgia tek the last 3 years Josh Nesbitt played.
4 yards per carry rushing the football.
Oh, that is just awesome.
12 Interceptions and only 13 TD thrown in 36 games he has played.
Josh Nesbitt throws one TD pass every 3 games.
For God’s sake.
44 percent of his passes are thrown for a completion.
134 completed out of 298 passes in 36 games played.
3 passes per game are actually completed by Josh Nesbitt.
My God.
But, don’t forget he gets 4 yards per running play.
Can I place my bet now on Josh Nesbitt for Heisman please ?
Jeff Schultz, that is preposterous to discuss that to begin your football season predictions; you ALSO missed it on South Carolina.
Look out Coach Richt game 2 : LOSNG RECORD vs SEC East last 5 years Coach Richt after game 2 ?
If NCAA has any question, Dogs should sit Green to be safe | Jeff Schultz
September 3rd, 2010
9:48 am
[...] ♦ Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets open with wins [...]
UGA fans are so ...
September 3rd, 2010
10:23 am
Better make it nine, Jeff. Warrant issued for A. Ogletree for theft.
JDW=DBAG
September 3rd, 2010
10:53 am
@JDW, what are you even doing reading JS? Did your Wall Street Journal not show up in the mail yesterday? Was Charles Krauthammer not on FOX yesterday? DUDE, let me let you in on a not so subtle secret, Jeff’s column is meant to deride the fools in life. Learn to enjoy it or just STFU.
David C, Atlanta, Ga.
September 3rd, 2010
10:57 am
Looks like you are 0-1 after South Carolina Pick. Not even close. Also not a South Carolina Fan. Just like to see the Expert are not right very much either..
lawzoo
September 3rd, 2010
1:07 pm
You want the points and Sou. Miss. You got ‘em! You can also have them next week when Carolina makes Barnyard and his lapdawg Schlablaaaach start making excuses for their beloved Mutts.
I wouldn’t blame Richt if he quit as warden of the football team after this year.
Does he have to send in Probation Reports for every player ? Doesn’t get paid enough.
No more excuses -- Georgia's arrests fall on Mark Richt | Jeff Schultz
September 3rd, 2010
1:46 pm
[...] ♦ Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets open with wins [...]
No more Schultz....
September 3rd, 2010
3:39 pm
Don’t pick UGA. Dawg fans now hate you. You are a Richt witch hunter.
Yellow Fuzz
September 3rd, 2010
4:50 pm
georgia 26
Shreveport’s Little Sister 20
LIVE from Tech, it's Jackets and Bulldogs! (not those Dogs) | Jeff Schultz
September 4th, 2010
12:42 pm
[...] ♦ Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets open with wins [...]
Georgia Tech sees flaws in easy win, and that’s a good thing | Jeff Schultz
September 4th, 2010
8:34 pm
[...] ♦ Weekend Predictions: Dogs, Jackets open with wins [...]