Predictions Lite: Jackets, Tide, Gators win Leach-free bowls
Weekend Predictions was put to bed a few weeks ago, the result of a slight misunderstanding by my late ghost writer who typed that Florida would defeat Alabama in the SEC championship game after I specifically relayed to him via Ouija that the Gators would be so thoroughly dominated that Urban Meyer would retire, unretire, ponder, brood, mull, retire, unretire, declare sweet victory after I guess the greatest football practice in the history of the universe and eventually was told to stand in a dark closet for three hours by Lubbock Commandant Mike Leach.
Anyway, back to Predictions. I wasn’t supposed to dispense any more financial advice this season. But I’m already getting tired of Melky Cabrera jokes and we’re jumping into the heart of the bowl season — yes, after the Independence Bowl; shirts still available here! — I had nothing else to blog about this morning. So we give you Absolute Financial Locks Lite.
Just remember how this works: I give you the winners. But it’s your job to find them. The others were just miscommunications.
♦ Orange Bowl (Georgia Tech-Iowa): The Jackets celebrated for so long after last year’s win over Georgia that they were still hung over by the time they got to the Chick-fil-A Bowl. Then they were dismembered. Fortunately, they only play a Big Ten team this time. South Florida has never seen so many Winnebagos. Jackets cover 4.
First title: LSU. Second title: Alabama.
♦ BCS Championship (Alabama-Texas): Asked whether he can relate to Meyer’s stress issues, Nick Saban cracked, “I could work here and take the stress, or I could retire and go home and work for [wife] Terry and take the stress there.” I hope he enjoys the BCS trophy. Because it’s the only thing he’ll be grabbing for a while. Tide covers 4.
(Remaining cast, in order of appearance)
♦ Chick-fil-A (Tennessee-Virginia Tech): Lane Kiffin arrived in town early. With Tennessee’s “Orange Pride” coeds on holiday break, he had to pick up several Hooters waitresses on the way to his next recruiting trip. VaTech covers 5 1/2.
♦ Outback (Auburn-Northwestern): Wasn’t it about a year ago we were making Gene Chizik jokes? Even Auburn running back Ben Tate said this week, “Most of us were like, ‘Who is he?’” Well, he would be the guy going to a better bowl game than Georgia or Tennessee or Ole Miss. Oops. Tigers cover the 8.
Rejoice, Dogs fans. At least one guy will be going.
♦ Capital One (LSU-Penn State): I never really believed John Chavis was a serious candidate for the Georgia defensive coordinator’s job until he was asked about it Wednesday and responded to a reporter, “Nice shoes,” or something like that. Dude. If Chavis is really looking to bolt LSU after only one year, what does that say about Les Miles? Penn State covers 2 1/2.
♦ Gator (FSU-West Virginia): Sorry, but amid the everything-stinks-until-we-have-a-playoff screams, this is pretty cool. It’s the Bobby Bowden Retirement Bowl. He left West Virginia on his own for Florida State, where he won two national championships, then had his legs broken in a board room. Football just ain’t what it used to be. Noles win in an upset, but take the 2 1/2.
I know I used this picture the other day. But it makes him look like such a dork, I had to rerun it.
♦ Sugar (Florida-Cincinnati): It’s Tim Tebow’s last game. It might be Urban Meyer’s last game. Unfortunately, Brian Kelly already had his last game — the Cincinnati coach left for Notre Dame. There goes that upset pick. Gators cover 12 1/2.
♦ Alamo: (Texas Tech-Michigan State): For all the people criticizing Texas Tech for firing Mike Leach, which of these three things do you not have a problem with? 1) Minimizing that significance of a player’s concussion; 2) humiliating a college student in front of teammates by making him stand in a closet; or 3) seeking a restraining order against his superiors who suspended him from the bowl game while they tried to sort this mess out? All I know is, whoever runs the Alamo Bowl is buying drinks for the house and screaming, “I am somebody!” Forget distractions. Raiders cover the 7 1/2.
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209 comments Add your comment
UGA83
December 31st, 2009
10:37 am
Schultz must have missed Wisconsin’s domination of Miami. Miami beat Tech, Iowa beat Wisconsin, ergo take Iowa, you won’t need thepoints!!!
Dawg Gone
December 31st, 2009
10:39 am
DawginLex – Your view of history is a bit on-sided. Better read some more.
Cherokee
December 31st, 2009
10:40 am
$1.4 million Shreveport vs. our $14 million BCS Orange bowl ………….why aren’t you in Miami with your team mates???
ATLNOLE
December 31st, 2009
10:41 am
False Imprisonment is a crime, it doesn’t matter if he’s locked in a mall or a closet.
MatthewH
December 31st, 2009
10:43 am
Even though I am a Tech fan, I had to laugh at DawginLex’s advice to 1.4 about those creatures waking around South Beach! Funny, funny.
Gumby
December 31st, 2009
10:47 am
Here’s my predictions:
1: Craig James either loses his job or is relegated to little league games due to fan backlash against ESPN, unless they stop letting him talk about this during games, like last night
2: Adam James “loses interest” in football
3: Texas Tech football just drove off a cliff
4: Mike Leach wins his lawsuit and gets a new coaching job
5: the Tide rolls over an overrated Texas team, possibly knocking McCoy out of the game
Dawg Gone
December 31st, 2009
10:52 am
UGA83 – You have to look at the whole season. Not just one or two games. Teams play good and bad games. Not saying who will win, just that your method of judging teams is flawed.is flawed.
Mother Teresa
December 31st, 2009
10:54 am
Georgia Tech 34, Iowa 31. I hope.
Chuckles Dimry
December 31st, 2009
11:04 am
If Meyer can shake his sleeping pill addiction side affects and quit sleepwalking around the house unconscious he will be back. Ambien is some serious stuff, I took one every time we played the 49’s for “anxiety”. One time I woke up spooning with scott case. Yuck!
Russ, the Temporary Mascot
December 31st, 2009
11:06 am
Well, it was inevitable . . . someone else is now posting as Russ, the Temporary Mascot. Must be another temp. The real Russ has a painted a$$ and is still sore about it. Imagine the humiliation! Some of these bloggers are a$$ painters themselves – can’t find an acceptable identity of their own – always having to paint someone else’s a$$. Here’s what I think about the teams in the Chick-fil-A Bowl . . . way too classy to paint the a$$es of the mascots. What kind of school paints a dog’s a$$ anyway?
BE#3
December 31st, 2009
11:08 am
“Hey recruits,
Quite simply, you can either ride the short busses to Shreveport every Christmas or fly first class to the BCS Orange Bowl every New Years. Just saying….”
Since when did Tech start going to the Orange Bowl every year? The statement should read “fly to the BCS Orange Bowl once every 40 years”.
DawginLex
December 31st, 2009
11:09 am
Dawg gone,
History one sided? Really?
Compare Richt’s bowl record and history with Tech’s over the past 9 years then get back to me.
Russ, the Temporary Mascot
December 31st, 2009
11:11 am
Please stop using my name. It’s bad enough as it is. Does paint still have lead in it. Is that why people are telling me now to get the lead out.
Anyone have any turpentine I could borrow.
1eyedJack
December 31st, 2009
11:11 am
Schultz, you’re picking the thus far 1-3 ACC to go 3-0? Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
No wonder you still work for the AJC instead of living on the beach off your Vegas winnings.
Man enough.......
December 31st, 2009
11:13 am
I’m not sure if any A she she team (other than Clemson) can man up and play a physical game of football against anyone. Miami looked like a bunch of slow, pansies against a slow but physical Wisconsin team. Iowa’s defense is better than Wisconsin’s and Tech’s defense is AWOL which means Ricky Stanzi will throw all over it. Iowa wins and sends the terrorists…..err…..nerds packing. Hope the TSA is ready for them!
Dawg Gone
December 31st, 2009
11:13 am
DawginLex – Ithought Mark was leaving for FSU. He seems to be sputtering out where he is. What happenned to Ray Golf. Can he come back now.
History goes back more than nine years.
Russ, the Temporary Mascot
December 31st, 2009
11:16 am
All that talk about Shreveport being crummy is way off base. I found Shreveport to be very accommodating. Everyone was very nice to me at the parties and they made sure I got to tour the world’s biggest dogfood plant. Everything was just right until some clown painted my a$$! In an electrical closet, no less. Then, he goes on regional television and tells the several hundred people tuned in to the game all about painting my a$$ white. I bet he’s a blogger here. If he is, ol’ Russ has a message for you partner- you’ve painted your last a$$. In terms more appropriate for this blog, “Your painted you’re last ask.” It’s bad when a dog has to dumb down to reach someone.
Expedia.com
December 31st, 2009
11:19 am
Shreveport once every 20 years is nicer than a trip to Boise every couple of years in December!
DawginLex
December 31st, 2009
11:21 am
How far do you want to go back? 60-39 vs Tech? they have beaten us 4 times in the past 20 years?
Richt’s not going anywhere. The program is going to be solid over the next few years. The offense will be lights out next year. The new DC will improve the D and we have the best kicking game in the NCAA.
Just go crawl back under your rock. Your hater venom is running out.
Russ, the Temporary Mascot
December 31st, 2009
11:23 am
“Georgia coach Mark Richt said this morning that his search for a new defensive coordinator could go beyond the first week of January, a signal that he doesn’t yet have his man.” – AJC
No a$$ painting team is going to get a big time DC. When they find a DC he can take comfort in knowing how many others have turned down the job. Maybe a temp would be the best solution. As long as they don’t try to paint his a$$.
Dawg Gone
December 31st, 2009
11:24 am
DawginLex – “Just crawl back uder your rock? and you are accusing me of having hate venom – try looking in the morror for hate.
Morror morror on the wall..........
December 31st, 2009
11:26 am
Who’s the biggest loser of them all?
Weekend Bowl predictions
December 31st, 2009
11:29 am
[...] the story on Topix Posted in [...]
DawginLex
December 31st, 2009
11:30 am
Dawg gone,
What have you said to me on this blog that warrants a response of anything positive? Richt going to FSU? Ray “Golf” coming back?
I’m done with you because I don’t converse with morons. It’s not hate if it is truth.
$1.4 million Shreveport vs. our $14 million BCS Orange bowl
December 31st, 2009
11:35 am
Call me stupid, but I still say it will end up being Garner.
Hey and did anyone get the answers to last nights trivia questions?
1. WHO will play in a BCS Bowl and who won’t?
2. WHO won THEIR conference Championship and who didn’t come remotely close to even playing in theirs?
3. WHO is currently ranked in the top 10 and who had to receive a charity vote from Bobby Bowden to avoid being tied with 85 other teams for dead last!
Dawg Gone
December 31st, 2009
11:37 am
Didn’t like what you saw in the mirror? Guess not.
$1.4 million Shreveport vs. our $14 million BCS Orange bowl
December 31st, 2009
11:38 am
DawginLex,
“It’s not hate if it is truth”.
Who died and made you the world wide rule writer? lol
Russ, the Temporary Mascot
December 31st, 2009
11:38 am
Help, I have more hair falling out. Need more paint to cover it up.
Pago Flyer
December 31st, 2009
11:39 am
Those IOWA farm boys are just waaay toooo slow/dumb for GT. Game over by 3rd qtr./
$1.4 million Shreveport vs. our $14 million BCS Orange bowl
December 31st, 2009
11:40 am
DawginLex,
Why don’t you stay off our blogs?
Paul in RDU
December 31st, 2009
11:40 am
Russ had his ass painted white to look good on TV?
Seems to me some of the people on this blog have had theirs painted red
Bravissimo
December 31st, 2009
11:40 am
DawginLex you still didnt answer my ?..you really think UGA will be ranked 14th in preseason??
TSA
December 31st, 2009
11:41 am
I hope we get enough manpower to handle all of the terrorists heading to and from the Orange Bowl from Ga Tech. Nevermind, there are not that many going anyway.
Dawg Gone
December 31st, 2009
11:46 am
Bravissimo – I think DawginLex has crawled under a rock somewhere. Maybe he will stay there.
Happy New Year. Got to go buy some turnip greens and ham hocks.
Haha
December 31st, 2009
11:49 am
Dawginlex thinks uga will be not only ranked but 14th. ROFL. What a moron.
Ugag WILL NOT be ranked. Just as they ARE NOT ranked now and won’t be when the final poll comes out. Beating a team with a losing record doesn’t impress pollsters idiot.
Russ, the Temporary Mascot
December 31st, 2009
11:49 am
Yes, they painted my a$$ white and no one is taking up for me and now some half-wit impostor is posting using my name. I am moving out of state and will leave no forwarding address. When this paint wears off maybe I can regain my dignity. It may be awhile before you guys get a DC. You’ll need to find someone in a good high school program willing to make a lateral move. I’ll keep reading to see who it is but I won’t be posting again since there is another Russ posting here now.
DawginLex
December 31st, 2009
11:55 am
Final post for the two morons:
Read what I posted idiots.
Preseason 2010 Rankings.
Morons.
Go blow up your inflatable dates for the New Year’s D&D Extravaganza
Russ, the Temporary Mascot
December 31st, 2009
11:57 am
What do you mean half wit. I thought I was full wit.
By the way, imitation is the highest form of flattery.
And I thought you were the imposter. Who’s on first.
Dawg Gone
December 31st, 2009
11:59 am
DawginLex – there are more that two of us. You can’t even count straight. Goodbye.
Have a nice holiday whereever you are.
One last thought, why can’t you take a joke.
The Cox Family including Montavious D'Andre Thornton Cox IX
December 31st, 2009
12:01 pm
Russ, you sound suspiciously like “Sonny Clusters.” Sonny was this well-meaning, inbred that loved Dairy Queen. He ’specially loved the Dilly Bars ’cause they was painted white inside, too. Do you know Sonny?
DawginLex
December 31st, 2009
12:02 pm
Happy New Year Dawg gone
Enjoy Miami and remember what I said about the girls on the beach. They are not inflatable.
Who can’t take a joke?
The Cox Family including Montavious D'Andre Thornton Cox IX
December 31st, 2009
12:03 pm
Russ, you and Sonny Clusters need to have a “sit-down” at the Dairy Queen. Hash this mult-personality thing out. Good for the soul.
Happy New Year!! [burp]
Steaming Log in Lex
December 31st, 2009
12:03 pm
Steaming Log in Lex,
Chan Gailey is gone so our bowl record over the last 9 years is not really that relevant. We got smoked last year but we all know that was a fluke. Paul Johnson has righted the ship and anybody who’s ever worn a jock strap in their life knows that. If I were you, I’d also be conveniently reminiscing about the past 9 years as opposed to talking about the future.
Bravissimo
December 31st, 2009
12:06 pm
Dawginlex…I dont need an inflatable doll..im a married grandfather.
I was being sincere when I asked if you really thought uga was gonna be ranked 14th in a 2010 PRESEASON poll.
You dont need to include me in your hate tirade.
World Be Free
December 31st, 2009
12:07 pm
Jeff, Texas Tech (or SMU if you like) is a joke. Figures you would take ESPN’s side of the story.
Leach got screwed, period. Be nice if you folks in the media would all admit it instead of circling the wagons around your media buddies.
1eyedJack
December 31st, 2009
12:08 pm
Don’t see any reason why UGA won’t be ranked to start next year.
10 starters back on the offense…I think we’ll be pleasantly surprised with our Freshman QB…though his inexperience will probably cost us at least 1 game…just as with Stafford. Hopefully get Sturdivant back for a whole year and healthy. If Durham returns from injury and plays it will give us another experienced wide receiver. Hopefully Da’Rick makes the grade(s). BoBo learns that the way you win is to run the ball.
Defense will be the big question mark no doubt…some big time recruits coming in on that side of the ball…loss of three DTs to the NFL will hurt. Curran takes the paycheck but hopefully Rashad comes back to better his draft status.
We’ll know more after the D staff is in place and the spring game is played…but see no reason we can’t improve exponentially on that side of the ball. Talent is there.
We’ve started out ranked most every year this decade…pundits will put us in there somewhere.
DawginLex
December 31st, 2009
12:10 pm
Sorry bravissimo,
It is hard to find a logical and cordial Tech poster. Most are like the one a few posts up that take my screen name and turn it into something a 5 year old would create.
Yes, I believe they will be preseason rated that high. If Tech wins the bowl game, they will be preseason top 10.
Happy New Year
Dick
December 31st, 2009
12:11 pm
Has anyone noticed Jeff’s picture at the top of the blog cuts off the top of his head so you can’t see his bald spot? LOL. Someone is very insecure.
yellowjacket82
December 31st, 2009
12:12 pm
Tide rolls.
GT41 Iowa34.
UGA wins NC the next year (I jest).
Bravissimo
December 31st, 2009
12:17 pm
Ok..fair enough. Personaly I dont place to much value on preseason polls.
I was raised a Tech fan by my father, and my sister was a UGA fan,she died 5 years ago. I actually hate it when they play each other.
Im more concerned with what the Braves are doing in the offseason anyways.
The other day someone wrote about comparisons of ACC and SEC that why do people root for the conference so much. In the pros I dont root for the Phillies or Mets or the Saints or the Panthers just because their in the same conference as the Braves and Falcons. just thought that was interesting.