Predictions Lite: Jackets, Tide, Gators win Leach-free bowls

bowl gamesWeekend Predictions was put to bed a few weeks ago, the result of a slight misunderstanding by my late ghost writer who typed that Florida would defeat Alabama in the SEC championship game after I specifically relayed to him via Ouija that the Gators would be so thoroughly dominated that Urban Meyer would retire, unretire, ponder, brood, mull, retire, unretire, declare sweet victory after I guess the greatest football practice in the history of the universe and eventually was told to stand in a dark closet for three hours by Lubbock Commandant Mike Leach.

Anyway, back to Predictions. I wasn’t supposed to dispense any more financial advice this season. But I’m already getting tired of Melky Cabrera jokes and we’re jumping into the heart of the bowl season  — yes, after the Independence Bowl; shirts still available here! — I had nothing else to blog about this morning. So we give you Absolute Financial Locks Lite.

Just remember how this works: I give you the winners. But it’s your job to find them. The others were just miscommunications.

♦ Orange Bowl (Georgia Tech-Iowa): The Jackets celebrated for so long after last year’s win over Georgia that they were still hung over by the time they got to the Chick-fil-A Bowl. Then they were dismembered. Fortunately, they only play a Big Ten team this time. South Florida has never seen so many Winnebagos. Jackets cover 4.

First title: LSU. Second title: Alabama.

First title: LSU. Second title: Alabama.

♦ BCS Championship (Alabama-Texas): Asked whether he can relate to Meyer’s stress issues, Nick Saban cracked, “I could work here and take the stress, or I could retire and go home and work for [wife] Terry and take the stress there.” I hope he enjoys the BCS trophy. Because it’s the only thing he’ll be grabbing for a while. Tide covers 4.

(Remaining cast, in order of appearance)

♦ Chick-fil-A (Tennessee-Virginia Tech): Lane Kiffin arrived in town early. With Tennessee’s “Orange Pride” coeds on holiday break, he had to pick up several Hooters waitresses on the way to his next recruiting trip. VaTech covers 5 1/2.

♦ Outback (Auburn-Northwestern): Wasn’t it about a year ago we were making Gene Chizik jokes? Even Auburn running back Ben Tate said this week, “Most of us were like, ‘Who is he?’” Well, he would be the guy going to a better bowl game than Georgia or Tennessee or Ole Miss. Oops. Tigers cover the 8.

Rejoice, Georgia fans. At least one of these guys is going.

Rejoice, Dogs fans. At least one guy will be going.

♦ Capital One (LSU-Penn State): I never really believed John Chavis was a serious candidate for the Georgia defensive coordinator’s job until he was asked about it Wednesday and responded to a reporter, “Nice shoes,” or something like that. Dude. If Chavis is really looking to bolt LSU after only one year, what does that say about Les Miles? Penn State covers 2 1/2.

♦ Gator (FSU-West Virginia): Sorry, but amid the everything-stinks-until-we-have-a-playoff screams, this is pretty cool. It’s the Bobby Bowden Retirement Bowl. He left West Virginia on his own for Florida State, where he won two national championships, then had his legs broken in a board room. Football just ain’t what it used to be. Noles win in an upset, but take the 2 1/2.

I know I used this picture the other day. But it makes him look like such a dork, I had to rerun it.

I know I used this picture the other day. But it makes him look like such a dork, I had to rerun it.

♦ Sugar (Florida-Cincinnati): It’s Tim Tebow’s last game. It might be Urban Meyer’s last game. Unfortunately, Brian Kelly already had his last game — the Cincinnati coach left for Notre Dame. There goes that upset pick. Gators cover 12 1/2.

♦ Alamo: (Texas Tech-Michigan State): For all the people criticizing Texas Tech for firing Mike Leach, which of these three things do you not have a problem with? 1) Minimizing that significance of a player’s concussion; 2) humiliating a college student in front of teammates by making him stand in a closet; or 3) seeking a restraining order against his superiors who suspended him from the bowl game while they tried to sort this mess out? All I know is, whoever runs the Alamo Bowl is buying drinks for the house and screaming, “I am somebody!” Forget distractions. Raiders cover the 7 1/2.

209 comments Add your comment

Reid Adair

December 31st, 2009
2:19 am

That picture of Mike Leach is hilarious … especially after everything that has happened.

Great predictions, Jeff. Here’s hoping you git them all.

Happy New Year.

GT ALL THE WAY

December 31st, 2009
2:21 am

First and keep up the good work Tech!

Jeff Schultz

December 31st, 2009
2:22 am

Thanks, Reid and GT. I see I’m not the only one up. What are you guys drinking?

omari

December 31st, 2009
2:23 am

Still trying to find out

December 31st, 2009
2:28 am

I’m still trying to find out if they really, truly, painted Russ’s arse white like someone claimed they saw ESPN talking about.

That just ain’t right if they did.

Mick Jagger

December 31st, 2009
2:37 am

I see a bulldog and I want to paint it white
No black spots anymore I want to paint it white

I see people turn their heads and quickly look away.
Till I paint that arse white then they say ok

John Bonham

December 31st, 2009
2:52 am

Somebody get me a drink!….Schultzie has just picked the same teams as I did….

CoastDog

December 31st, 2009
3:53 am

Running out of good cheap shots, are we?

[...] the story on Topix Posted in [...]

dcbl

December 31st, 2009
6:06 am

The Schultz locks of the week has been my favorite column for years, even when you referred to my boys as the ‘Screaming Chihuahuas’.

After moving to Birmingham I got a real appreciation for how much I enjoyed my hometown paper, the good old Urinal / Constipation… Charles Hollis (who does the predictions for the Birmingham Snooze) has no sense of humor & pretends that there is no gambling line…

I’ve been running a prediction game online for several years – have done NCAA for years & added NFL this year.

I’m pretty sure I’ve beaten Weekend Predictions every year – still love the column though.

dcbl in 2009 (against the line):

44 – 34 – 2 in the NFL – http://perspectives.com/forums/view_topic.php?id=219259&forum_id=53

* side note – 162 – 78 straight up picking all games – http://perspectives.com/forums/view_topic.php?id=218948&forum_id=5

77 – 63 in NCAA – http://perspectives.com/forums/view_topic.php?id=218002&forum_id=53

Felix the Cat

December 31st, 2009
6:28 am

Coach leach does look like a dork Jeffopps eerrr ……………….10th…or 11th…

Bobbi Dud

December 31st, 2009
6:45 am

Navy defense under Johnson ( averaged 36 points and 439 yds allowed in 2007)! ” I didn’t bring any of those players with me to Tech” He didn’t bring any of those players but he did bring the same defense it seems! Iowa has no offense but finds one playing Tech! Tech loses close game.
Don’t be surprised how close the Bama and Texas game will be! Vols and Bengal Tigers will win.

TommyP

December 31st, 2009
7:00 am

Jeff: Not sure if you’ve seen the video of Leach’s lawyer talking to a Lubbock sports reporter about the infamous “closet” and “electrical room.” If you haven’t, go watch it. To call either room a “closet” or “electrical room” is a joke.

Leach is going to win the lawsuit against Texas Tech. Just watch.

Required Reading | Hard Knox Sports

December 31st, 2009
7:06 am

[...] Schultz weekend predictions. [AJC] [...]

Brad in Jasper

December 31st, 2009
7:14 am

Jeff, you’re always making me laugh, but you tend to do it better on the College Football picks. I will sorely miss that until September.

Was that a subtle Urban jab by Saban there? Mike Price was sought for his opinion on the stresses of coaching, but he was in a back room socializing with the Orange Pride girls.

I agree with you on the Chavis thing. Never really saw him leaving for the Dawgs, but the non-answers were a bit puzzling. One of two things – he’d really like to leave Miles for more money, or he’d like to stay with Miles for more money.

Manny

December 31st, 2009
7:14 am

I like the picks except for the FSU/West Virginia pick. There will be matchup problems there. I do hope that FSU wins one for Coach Bowden, but I just don’t know. Everything else is down the line.

I think that the Falcons will beat Tampa Bay. Tampa simply doesn’t have anything to play for and the Falcons will view this as a playoff game. But here’s what I think would be entertaining: I want to see the post-game reactions. I wonder if there will be Falcons players that would celebrate back-to-back winning seasons with jubilation or relief. I mean, having back-to-back winning seasons is something that EVERY OTHER PROFESSIONAL SPORTS FRANCHISE HAVE EXPERIENCED. Except the Atlanta Falcons. So to celebrate, you’re celebrating the fact that you are now like every other sports franchise! Mediocrity is bliss!

What I would like to see from Falcons players and fans is relief. Glad the stigma’s off your back. Now you can breathe.

Brad in Jasper

December 31st, 2009
7:16 am

Ouch, Manny – but true.

Dick Nixon

December 31st, 2009
7:17 am

Jeff, I hope you pick your nose better than football games, if you don’t you are gonna suffacate! Kissinger had a snoze on him as big as an elephant. He made boogers the size if vermont.

Brad in Jasper

December 31st, 2009
7:18 am

Just think how worse our sports inferiority complex would be if we didn’t have that one measly World Series win back in 95!

SatchelBuzz

December 31st, 2009
7:29 am

We’re on a mission in Miami,….Go Jackets! And let’s say goodbye to Texas Tech football as they exit the stage. Coach Leach put them on the map,..and with this PC knee-jerk reaction from their administration,..here’s hoping they enjoy their time back in the abyss. Here’s question,…what was the kid doing with a cell phone at practice? I bet there’s more to the story about his lack of playing time and poor work ethic. Here’s to the James family,…typical “little-leauge” parents,….good job in ruining the Red Raider football program,..are you happy now?

THWG!

“Sene Metu”

Big time?? Not

December 31st, 2009
7:40 am

Four tickets, four hot dogs, four cokes

SatchelBuzz

December 31st, 2009
7:45 am

Chavis would be a good pick up if LSU doesn’t match the offer. I hope Reshard Jones comes back because CPJ never forgets and payback is hell. If you’re bowl game trip takes you to Shreveport,….do you really win? Just saying.

THWG!

Angus

December 31st, 2009
7:53 am

I disagree on all the ACC picks. FSU loses, GT and VT win, but do not cover. After the first four ACC bowl games this year, I’m shocked the Vegas lines have not moved away from ACC teams – and I’m an ACC fan.

I’ll also take LSU – PSU only played two good teams and lost convincingly to both.

Correction Manny – the Carolina Panthers have never had back-to-back winning seasons. Admittedly though, that’s not a great hook to hang your hat on if you’re lifelong Falcons fan.

Humanitarian Bowl

December 31st, 2009
7:58 am

To SatchelBuzz,miss you this year but look forward to seeing you soon!!
Tell Chan and Reggie hello

Duck a Fawg

December 31st, 2009
8:03 am

hey “Big time?? Not”….. a whole row of tickets and unlimited hot dogs and cokes in Shreveport!!!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha….looked like Cardinal Richt had been sent to solitary confinement while accepting the trophy…hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Phat Phil

December 31st, 2009
8:08 am

Schultz….you sir, are a giant “Massengill Bag”. Let go of the “Hostess-Gate” with Tennessee. There is NOTHING there, a-hole. The probability Lane Kiffin directed those girls to go to the S.C. football game is less than your chance of being the next spokesperson for Hair Club For Men…ZERO. By the way, UT will cover the spread and pull out an upset tonight. I understand you have to pretend to hate Lane Kiffin for the UGA rednecks that read your column when you and I know its pure jealousy. Stock up on Kleenex!

suwaneedawg

December 31st, 2009
8:11 am

Two predictions I hate myself for even thinking. GT blows out Iowa and Texas slips by Alabama. The Big 10 can’t keep up with the speed on GT’s side and I think Texas has enough on defense to keep it close with the tide and win a squeaker. I hope I am wrong on both accounts.

JJ

December 31st, 2009
8:14 am

When did the Outback Bowl become a better bowl that the Cotton or Chick-Fil-A? I’ve been to Tampa for that game, nothing about it is better than the bowl in Atlanta except that it is played on New Year’s Day (albeit 11 AM on New Year’s Day.)

Schultzy the BIG Gambler

December 31st, 2009
8:20 am

Nice Danny Sheridan….Gee, go out on a ledge why don’t ya. 1 upset Pick. You are a fool.

BobbyH

December 31st, 2009
8:20 am

I’m just wondering if this Texas Tech player wasn’t the son of ESPN analyst Craig James would we even be talking about this?

Eric

December 31st, 2009
8:24 am

I hope you’re right, Suwanee. If you are, I’ll buy you a beer.

Mediocrity Rules.....

December 31st, 2009
8:25 am

20 years ago or longer and Mike Leach wouldn’t have even been in the news for this. But we live in a softer, gentler, more sensitive nation today run on a theory of political correctness. I really hope that didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. A almost said “I really pray that didn’t hurt anyone
s feelings.” But I knew the word “pray” would offend people.

Soon there will be a point cap on football games. Once a certain high score is reached the scoreboard cannot go any higher. We don’t want to embarrass anyone.

— Oldstyle coaches NOT wanted anymore

SECFan

December 31st, 2009
8:27 am

Uh, Cotton Bowl prediction??? Jeez…

Name (required)

December 31st, 2009
8:28 am

Pfffff. Heart attack my ass. Urban Meyer was sleeping with Tiger Woods and his wife found out.

rduck

December 31st, 2009
8:31 am

How pathetic is it that Craig James is allowed to go national on ESPN with his side of the story and Leach is portrayed as the mad man gone wild. Then to see Adam James actually took his cellphone to the room to make videos stinks of a setup . Then Craig “please don’t be mean to my son” James goes on TV and says “we never wanted any of this”. What a crock.

Vel

December 31st, 2009
8:31 am

Does that say ‘Buns Up’ on the armrests, in the picture?

Russ the Temporary Mascot

December 31st, 2009
8:32 am

Good picks, Schultz, except for the FSU game. WV is going to roll there.

Anyhow, I’m kind of in hiding after the rumors about Mike Leach coming to UGA. Word is he’s threatening to put a rope around my neck and drag me behind his scooter to a shed somewhere behind the stadium. At this point I don’t care. This paint they put on my butt is itching like a thousand fleas and it won’t come off.

FBR

December 31st, 2009
8:34 am

Big Time—-You are the BOMB!!!!!!

The Wreck

December 31st, 2009
8:35 am

Hey Jeff, fyi, your name is spelled wrong on the ajc.com homepage.

Road Scholar

December 31st, 2009
8:37 am

Hey Big time, is that what you hear at your job at the Varsity? Or what you say when you take your family out for fine dining? Separate checks, eh?

UA Alum92

December 31st, 2009
8:39 am

Don’t feel bad about the SECCG pick, JS. Did anyone pick Bama? The consensus seemed to be, “It’ll be a close game between two heavy-weights, but ultimately the difference will boil down to quarterback play.” Well, it wasn’t a close game but the difference was quarterback play. Fortunately for me, you among others picked the wrong quarterback.

I think Bama’s game plan against Tebow will be the same as the one they’ll use against McCoy:

1. Keep him off the field.
2. When he is on the field, contain him and make him beat you with his arm.

Gool luck Bama and RTR!!!

It's the Peach Bowl....

December 31st, 2009
8:39 am

It’s time for my annual public rant about Truett Cathy’s company taking the PEACH BOWL away from Atlanta. When they call it the “Chick-fil-a PEACH BOWL” I will start eating there again. I’m sick of corporate muscle and brainwashing. They are way too proud of their advertising/marketing. And yes I know they do a lot of good for the community…..

JJ

December 31st, 2009
8:41 am

It wasn’t a closet jeff. Get your facts straight. This was all done as an excuse to fire him. TT will pay big time with empty seats and a payout. James is a sissy like his daddy.

Robert

December 31st, 2009
8:43 am

Scholtz: Weekend Bowl predictions

Smokewagon

December 31st, 2009
8:44 am

GT will be blown out by Iowa. They play smashmouth style football.

Robert

December 31st, 2009
8:47 am

Chizik would also be the guy who LOST to Georgia.

SC Boy

December 31st, 2009
8:49 am

I am an unbiased observer. Iowa will shellack Tech.

Chris Murphy, Atlanta, GA

December 31st, 2009
8:52 am

The, uh, passion of some sports “fans” always amazes me, and truly I do not understand the race to be the first response on a blog. The question I have is, do these guys just sit on the computer, staring at the site and waiting for a writer’s post? I guess you’re a pretty important piece of a lot of people’s lives, Jeff.

Dr. Phil

December 31st, 2009
8:54 am

Didn’t Leach hold a press conference one time dressed like Captain Jack Sparrow? “Clap that slacker in chains and take him below.” What a nut job. The bottom line here is, pirates were not nice people, and they never played football.

Lane Kiffin

December 31st, 2009
8:54 am

Jeff, nice post, but it was Cheetah girls not Hooters.