Countdown: Hall of Cheats, Hall of Fame, Hall of Nuts (Leavitt)
The Count's right-handed for a reason.
If there’s one thing The Count hates more than anything else, it’s a cheater. Back in his younger carousing days, when he’d stay up late, even on Thursday nights of a work week, riding shotgun with Jonathan Babineaux, The Count always tried to bite by the book. Oh sure, he could search out necklines of female athletes with artificially oxygenated blood and steroid-chiseled shoulders. Or maybe just take down the entire East German women’s swim team. True story: He once dated Marion Jones. Tried to bite her at the drive-in movie during, “Lethal Weapon 4,” and she broke his arm. Ever notice how his left arm always kind of hangs low? Any way, I digress. About those cheaters: The Count abhors them and will never, NEVER vote one into the Hall of Fame. Oh look, my ballot just came in the mail. Hey, McGwire: Don’t bother counting down. The rest of you, let’s take it from the top.
10. It’s still OK to vote for Cooperstown and D.C.
The Hawk goes in on my ballot.
We have a rule here at the AJC that we’re not allowed to vote on things like polls and awards. It’s a good rule. I don’t want any part of making decisions that help get a school into a $14 million bowl game or an player trigger a $2 million MVP incentive bonus. Not my job. Fact is, I stopped voting on a lot of things before they ever asked me to stop, including the Heisman. The lone exception is the baseball Hall of Fame. The rationalization: It’s post career, and I think I can live with the fact Andre Dawson’s signature on a baseball will be worth more if he finally gets in because of my vote. So here we go …
9. Elin goes in on my ballot. So do Dawson, McGriff, Murphy
There are 26 names on this ballot. I’m not going to make arguments here. Just giving you the names. Because frankly arguments take too long. And they’re boring. And not nearly as interesting as the fact Elin Nordegren is now walking around without a wedding ring, a clear sign that she’s advertising her availability and, yes, she wants me. Where was I? Right. Neptune. So here’s how I’m voting: Six get in (Dawson, Bert Blyleven, Fred McGriff, Jack Morris, Dave Parker and Dale Murphy. Why Murphy? Because he won
Murphy's got no shot, but what the heck.
consecutive MVP awards, hit 398 home runs and the closest illegal thing he put in his body was a Dolly Madison Zinger.”) Twenty don’t get in: Roberto Alomar, Kevin Appier, Harold Baines, Ellis Burks, Andres Galarraga, Pat Hentgen, Mike Jackson, Eric Karros, Ray Lankford, Barry Larkin, Edgar Martinez, Don Mattingly, Tim Raines, Shane Reynolds, David Segui, Lee Smith, Alan Trammell, Robin Ventura, Todd Zeile. Oh yeah. And Mark McGwire. Hah! If you missed it, Barry Bonds’ agent, Jeff Borris, lamented the fact that Bonds probably is retired. I guess not getting a phone call returned for two years tipped him off. Nobody is phoning Roger Clemens, either. Once Bonds and Clemens have filed their retirement papers, they’ll be on the Hall of Fame ballot in five years. Then we can officially ignore them.
8. Maybe Babineaux’s attorney needs to be drug tested
Wonder if Cheech and Chong ever cruised in Duluth?
Jonathan Babineaux chose not to speak after the Falcons’ game Sunday. I suppose he’s resting his voice for his next court appearance. But here’s a stunning revelation. In arguably the lamest news release in the history of news releases, Babineaux’s personal publicist (He has one? He needs one?) released a statement from defense attorney Patrick McDonough, saying, “After my preliminary investigation, I believe Jonathan Babineaux is innocent of these charges.” I, for one, am shocked. Most defense attorneys usually come right out and say, “I believe my client is a complete moron for driving at night with three bags of weed in the car, which, by the way, smelled a lot like that new car deodorizer, ‘Fresh Bong Hit.’” You’re not going to hear anybody in Flowery Branch officially address this subject. Why? Because they’re smart. But you can feel safe in assuming they would like to drop Mr. McDonough from an observation tower.
7. Special teams is REALLY important to Jim Leavitt
Note to self: Don't cover punts for Jim Leavitt.
Jim Leavitt has received a lot of attention (and job offers) for the job he has done at South Florida, a start-up program in Tampa. I’m thinking maybe he has stayed too long. There’s a report that Leavitt grabbed a player by the throat and slapped him in the face twice at halftime. Why? Apparently because he committed a penalty. On special teams. Goodness. Can you imagine if Mark Richt took penalties that serious? Georgia would be out of players by November.
6. First we emasculate, then we embrace?
The incident reportedly took place at halftime of a game against Louisville Nov. 21. Paul Miller, father of walk-on player Joel Miller, told AOL Fanhouse: “You do something like that [on the street], you put them in jail.” He should know. He used to be a police officer. If you click the link, there are some other great quotes in the story from the dad and five unnamed players, who witnessed the alleged incident in shock. Strange, though. Twelve days later, Leavitt reportedly apologized to the player, according to Fanhouse. Now the father suddenly is changing his tune. He told the St. Petersburg Times, ” I truly believe there as no malicious intent to hit anyone. He grabbed his shoulder pad … but it was like a motivational thing. After talking with Joel, he was satisfied there was not a slap, not at all.” And Leavitt? After initially declining comment, he’s suddenly issuing vehement denials. I think somebody just got extra meal money.
5. Ssssh: Tuberville to Dogs. Pass it on
Georgia’s defensive coordinator position is not filled yet, nor should anybody have expected it would be. I don’t know if coach Mark Richt is actually going to land somebody as lofty as the names that have been bounced around. But it’s safe to assume a lot of assistant coaches are getting raises to not go anywhere. For starters: Tyrone Nix (Mississippi), Kirby Smart (Alabama), Ellis Johnson (South Carolina) and now, likely, Bud Foster (Virginia Tech). By the way, I’ve got to pass this along: Got an email the other day from a devoted reader whom I won’t name because I like him and I don’t want a white truck to come to his house and drag him away. But this is what it said, “Jeff. Tuberville to Athens. It’s a done deal.” And I thought the other candidates was shooting high.
4. Welcome to Ms. Rogers Neighborhood
Rachel Uchitel did not bring her own bags. Bad girl.
OK, stop shouting. Heres’ another Tiger Woods update: He officially has filled his bag with the maximum: 14. A website, RadarOnline – which has been reporting half of this stuff and for all we know only started shortly after Woods’ drove it into the rough (a tree) — just exposed mistress No. 14. It says Theresa Rogers is in her 40s. I’m not sure if that’s a reference to her age or the number of horses in her stable. Wait, did I say that?
3. Wait, even more Tiger!
Actually, this has been a relatively quiet week in Tiger’s clubhouse. This is how desperate TMZ.com is for something new. They ran these two photos of Rachel Uchitel, Woods’ hookup No. 1, pushing her grocery cart in Florida. So we now know that Rachel drinks Fresca and buys the cheap paper towels.
2. Does a breast constitute illegal contact?
Here's two high school players and the Tennessee hostesses they never met. Wait. Huh? (SI.com)
You know, maybe it’s just the whole Tiger story that keeps taking me down this road. But the most amusing part of the whole Tennessee hostesses recruiting scandal – outside of the fact it again makes Lane Kiffin look like a complete doofus – was this excerpt from a New York Times story:
Also on Friday, Keith Easterwood, a veteran summer basketball coach, said that on a visit last year with his son, a football recruit, he had to ask a hostess to stop brushing her breasts against both him and his son. He recalled saying, “Young lady, if you don’t stop doing that, we’ve got a problem.”
Easterwood said that he took a group of basketball players to a Western Kentucky football game at Tennessee this year, and that the presence of the hostesses had his players “literally reduced to blubbering idiots. … My observation is that this is a very organized operation. These girls have obviously been groomed. There’s a lot of eye contact and touching.”
I’m fairly certain there’s no specific NCAA bylaw prohibiting contract between a recruit’s elbow and official university boobage. But I can’t wait to see the report from this investigation.
1. Smith falls on the “Wildcat” sword
Mike Smith's being a stand-up guy, as usual.
In case you missed it, Falcons coach Mike Smith stepped up and take took responsibility for the 12-yard loss on strange “Wildcat” play call late in Sunday’s loss to New Orleans, saying inn his Monday press conference, “It was obvious, while we were getting ready to run that play that they were coming off the edge. It should be my responsibility as the head coach to call time out and make sure that we don’t run that play. I take full responsibility for that play. It’s not on the players. There is nothing in our system for us to get out of that play. It’s something that I should have handled.” One more reason why players, coaches and certainly The Count like Mike Smith.
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150 comments Add your comment
jack
December 15th, 2009
1:41 am
first!!!
MightyQuinn
December 15th, 2009
4:08 am
Second? I love to count like the Count!
Ted Striker
December 15th, 2009
4:15 am
Bad for Leavitt to be accused of grabbing/slapping a Bulls player. But infinitely better than being accused of grabbing/slapping a Bull’s player’s b… — oh, nevermind. Look at the time — gotta go!
bowman
December 15th, 2009
4:30 am
This is a pathetic excuse for a sports column. Based on your talent and depth of sources, Jeff, I expect better from you. Is it true that your compensation, if not your job, is partly based on how many page views your blogs get?
curious,
bowman
– -
“Art will always be Art.” – Goethe
"Chef" Tim Dix
December 15th, 2009
5:18 am
Hawk and Murph? Either people don’t remember or people don’t know.
Both are worthy beyond votes.
El Bravo
December 15th, 2009
6:11 am
I love the count but in what planet is Robby Alomar not a hall of famer? That’s right; Neptune… some day you’ll have to explain that one to me Jeff…
Cleavage police
December 15th, 2009
6:51 am
As Barney Fife used to day, “Nip it in the Bud.” The NCAA needs someone to stay abreast of this kind of incidental contact… I suggest they harden their stance, perhaps form an exploratory committee (any volunteers? … um I mean people willing to help) … if they don’t rein things in there could be national fallout from a lack of support. I, for one, only hope that the sagging effectivenesss of NCAA control is implanted with new initiatives that can bridge this critical cleavage which threatens the very paragons of virtue that we hold so dear.
Barnacle Bill Bavasi
December 15th, 2009
6:52 am
Maybe Mr. Slappy Walkon just earned himself a scholarship.
I love Dale Murphy, but don’t think he’s a hall of famer.
The best part of being Tiger is not the money.
The cheap paper towels are just fine.
I like Mike.
dirk
December 15th, 2009
6:57 am
Bowman: Go sit in a tree stand if you don’t like it. Some of us need to laugh every now and then.
haywood jablomey
December 15th, 2009
7:00 am
epic!
Nick Satan
December 15th, 2009
7:04 am
Is that a real bee-hive hairdo on that Tennessee cutie-pie. Jeff you are the best! I love you man!!!
schleydawg
December 15th, 2009
7:06 am
Mike Smith is a quality coach. The Falcons are a competitive team that is well prepared each week. The pre-season free agency loss and the injury bug this year have had a tremendous impact, but the Falcons are still fun to follow. Class act.
Mr. P
December 15th, 2009
7:09 am
I didn’t do it…It wasn’t me…you can’t prove it…those photo’s were doctored by an Alabama Alum working for Hugh Hefner.
brave1
December 15th, 2009
7:11 am
Why do coaches feel the need to announce that they “take full responsibility” for their team performance?
Do they think it makes them look heroic or extremely honest and stand up?
We know you are responsible guys. Stop patting your self on the back.
haywood jablomey
December 15th, 2009
7:19 am
Nick Satan, that’s not a bee-hive, that’s a “BumpIt”
and if u call in the next 10 minutes they’ll double the
order for only $9.99.
bet those byrnes guys want to “BumpIt” and it
wouldn’t even cost em 10 bucks.
Northern Songs, Ltd.
December 15th, 2009
7:20 am
Not your best, except maybe the Kiffan is a doofus line.
“Art will be Art.” – Paul Simon
MiltonDawg
December 15th, 2009
7:22 am
Great Stuff JS- i’m a diehard Murphy fan, how can the voters go wrong with him? He is the only person in the countdown thats not morally challenged. Next we will hear that Kiffin & Co have a brothel just outside of Knoxville called Rocky Tip!!! Can the Tiger thing just go away? Babs and his attorney are complete morons…i guess the reefer was mistaken for oregano.
haywood ...
December 15th, 2009
7:26 am
hey! where’s my comments? one was actually pretty good.
SimpleDawg
December 15th, 2009
7:36 am
I have never seen so many hillbillie Vowel fans on the AJC blogs as I have recently. Every single one of them vehemently proclaiming the “Hostess Scandal” as harmless and fueled by jealousy over a revived juggernaut UT program. Sorry inbreds, it’s real, it’s scandalous, and it’s against the rules….except in Tennysee, where mating with sisters and cousins is not only desired, it’s preferred.
A well known DC will have to be paid big $$$$$ to leave their current position to come to Athens. Kirby may be the easiest to lure away from his boss….ol’ Lucifer himself.
Ellis Johnson and his wife are both from South Carolina. Ellis has many recruiting connections throughout the state; I don’t see him leaving USC east.
All of you morons heckling UGA for not being able to hire Bud Foster away from Va Tech…..you’re showing your ignorance of his history at Va Tech.
Eldick will never be Tiger again.
SimpleDawg
December 15th, 2009
7:37 am
Oh, excuse me…..I meant Eldrick. Freudian slip…..
M Anthony
December 15th, 2009
7:43 am
Trying to figure out what is the purpose of this column. Other than showing a losing coach of a losing falconette team, I guess it is a lame attempt at calling out athletes and people in the news. I guess this what you do when you have nothing sportwise to be proud of in this city. I even heard a local sports radio show yesterday talking about all the bad plays the New Orleans coach called in Sundays game. At the end of the day, I believe the Saints flew home with a still undefeated record.
Nativebird
December 15th, 2009
7:48 am
While the jury is still out and will be out on Smitty as a NFL HC for some time, I must say, you’ve simply got to like the spunk, the fire and the accountability.
However, I believe the jury has come in on Mularky…and it isn’t “not guilty”. Way too many game-day brain cramps.
The Count
December 15th, 2009
7:50 am
1 stupid article by Schultz…….. 2 stupid articles by Schultz………..3 stupid articles by Schultz…..shall I go on?
FBR
December 15th, 2009
7:59 am
Cleavage police —— Hilariously, Wonderfully Written!!!!!!!!!
Larvell "Sugar Bear" Blanks
December 15th, 2009
7:59 am
Jeff,
Thanks for stepping up to the plate and knocking this paticular column out of the park! However, I am quite intrigued by the reports of T. Tuberville to Athens. I am somewhat surprised that his name hasn’t been linked to an upcoming HC position with some school located here in the south.
Kudos on the nods to Hawk and Murph! I remember when he retired that he might not have the votes to get in on the ballot but I am not sure.
Lastly, and not lustily this Tiger Woods story has to be the story of the year! My vote for woman of the year definitely goes to Elin! Why no mention of the report that when Tiger got the word that his father passed away he was actually in bed with yet another woman! Just stunned beyond description is the only way to describe this!
SimpleDawg
December 15th, 2009
8:00 am
Falling on your sword for something really stupid isn’t gallant……it’s just stupid. 2 stupids don’t erase the first stupid.
Dale Murphy is a Hall of Famer. He dominated baseball for many years like very few had done before or have since….and without steroids or scandalous behavior.
Elin is way beyond Bikini Hallof Fame. She is a Goddess…..a very rich Goddess.
appalachian-american
December 15th, 2009
8:02 am
I am shocked that a football program would stoop to t&a to use as bait for players. That has never been done by any school before. Jeff you left off Pete Rose for the Hall. Has there ever been a guy more crapped on than him when every kind of thief,wife beater ,druggie have just been hand slapped.
MiltonDawg
December 15th, 2009
8:06 am
M Anthony- apparently this is your first time on here. Get a clue and relax
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:07 am
Appalachian — I agree. Unfortunately, Rose isn’t on the ballot so I didn’t have a choice to make.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:08 am
Simple Dawg — He didn’t have take the hit for Mularkey. I guess that was my point. … On Dale–agree. … On Elin–Definitely agree.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:10 am
Larvell — Thanks. I’m just not sure Tuberville’s in a huge hurry. He’s got a ton of money and is not going to take just any job. … Yeah, I saw the story about Tiger supposedly being with another women when his father died. Sick, if it’s true.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:11 am
The Count — You sir, are impersonating the Count. That’s a felony.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:13 am
MiltonDawg — Thanks. Most voters are just looking at this total numbers and don’t consider them sufficient.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:14 am
Haywood — Caught in spam fiter. You’re up now.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:15 am
Nick Satan — Yes, real bee-hive. And I think the bees come out for the Florida game.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:16 am
Barnacle Bill — I use the cheap paper towels too. Unless I have a coupon for the better stuff.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:18 am
El Bravo — Alomar might be an HOFer. But I have to think about it, which means he doesn’t go in on the first ballot.
SimpleDawg
December 15th, 2009
8:19 am
I know he didn’t have to take the hit for Mularky….I get it. It was a bad time to call such a risky play….especially since you had no way to change it at the line. We out-smarted ourselves.
I almost missed the bouffant hairdo on the blond UT bimbo for looking at her little short dress……it would’ve been hard to follow the game action if you were sitting below her in the stands.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:20 am
Jack — I see you were up as late as me (as I?).
Paddy
December 15th, 2009
8:24 am
Bowman…..I believe you are in the minority. Most fans of Jeff love this column every week. It is sports, you know, not philosophy class. Or for that matter, not logic class either.
Eric
December 15th, 2009
8:39 am
Babs real crime was driving around with an expired tag. Now that’s stupid. Tubs to UGA…not a chance!
Reid Adair
December 15th, 2009
8:39 am
Jeff, like your Hall of Fame selections – and good luck with that Elin thing.
As for the rest … “official university boobage”? Absolutely hilarious.
And I agree 100 percent about Mike Smith. Just another example of how things have changed with the Falcons. I can’t imagine Jim Mora, Jr., standing up and taking responsibility like that.
Todd - Dacula
December 15th, 2009
8:44 am
Jeff Schultz – The reports are nthat Jim Leavitt only grabbed this kid by the shoulder pads; my daugher attends USF and dates one of the starting players. The reposrts appear to be false; the reposrts are that the palyers’ father has retracted statements as well.
Facts please.
Lane Kiffin
December 15th, 2009
8:46 am
A redneck from Georgia passed away and left his entire estate to his wife. Sadly, she cannot touch any assets until she is 14.
You might be a Georgia redneck if the Kelly BlueBook value of your pick-up truck goes up and down based on
how much gas is in it.
You migh be a Georgia redneck if you think “Genitalia” is an Italian airline.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:50 am
Lane — That first one’s pretty funny.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:52 am
Todd — That’s in the Countdown item, if you read it. But let me ask you this. The kid’s dad five separate phone conversations with the Fanhouse report. Five. Now, after an apology from Leavitt, he suddenly says it never happened (or that it was only a slap on the shoulder). Which do you believe to be true?
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:54 am
Thanks Reid. Elin and I are meeting at Starbucks tonight in Smyrna. We’re trying to keep this thing under wraps until after her $80 million settlement. Then I will become a houseboy.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:55 am
Paddy — Thanks. Different strokes . . .
Jimbo
December 15th, 2009
9:15 am
If Richt took penalties as seriously as Leavitt, the Dawgs might have fewer players but they would also have fewer penalties.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
9:17 am
Jimbo — True.
cwb
December 15th, 2009
9:26 am
Cleavage Police has a humorous vein that puts me in mind of the old Johnny Carson style of saying what you mean obliquely.
The Count was in rare form (and up way past his bedtime) this morning, his reference to “official university boobage”: priceless. Dave Barry: eat your heart out.
Barkin'Dog
December 15th, 2009
9:35 am
bowman December 15th, 2009 –4:30 am –This is a pathetic excuse for a sports column.
DUDE! Get over yourself. This column is a hoot most weeks. It’s Jeff’s slant on the humor and common embarrassments of sports… and most readers (like me) like it. There aren’t many sports writers who can pull it off.
Cleavage police – that was downright titillating.
Jeff… as a long time Atlanta sports fan, few athletes have ever impressed me like Dale Murphy. He was all about integrity… in baseball, life, family and faith. Love the man to this day. And, as you wrote, Mike Smith is building his own Atlanta legacy. In 10 years, fans will be crazy celebrating his accomplishments… especially the many consecutive winning seasons he will put together.
cattle dawg
December 15th, 2009
9:38 am
Any truth to the rumor that the orange pride drove the get a way car on that armed robbery?
cattle dawg
December 15th, 2009
9:39 am
Jeff, got any scoop on the dc from kansas state?
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
9:45 am
Cattle Dawg — Vic Koenning would be a good choice and he makes sense because, 1) He’s a strong defensive coordinator and, 2) he’s only the co-defensive coordinator in his current job and therefore would want it (I’d think). He used to be the DC at Clemson and left when Tommy Bowden was fired and he didn’t get the head coaching job.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
9:47 am
Cleavage police: You make some great points. (See how I did that?)
midnite
December 15th, 2009
9:49 am
Kiffen must have the big bucks to have Carrie Underwood as one his “escorts”…er…uh recruiting hostesses.
Schultz that was not me on Sunday(that you banned)all you have to do it check the two IP’s I use. That was lame of you to even think it was me.
cattle dawg
December 15th, 2009
9:50 am
Thanks, just read a article on him. He seems real interested in the UGA job. I cant believe the phillies are getting rid of Cliff Lee.
Otto
December 15th, 2009
10:02 am
Koenning also has Bowden ties which would make him more highly recommended.
Tubs not a chance and is near last on the people I would want to see in the job. Tubby has not called a game in 15 yrs at DC and was more of an offhands CEO style HC than CMR is now. I had rather have CWM back.
Bud Foster he has been good but the team is sliding up there and the team thrived in weak competition even at their best were exposed by FSU playing for a national title they had no business being in.
Tide Rising
December 15th, 2009
10:16 am
Regardless of what happens in hostessgate to UT you can bet that the NCAA will come out with some new rules regarding the aggressiveness of hostesses and what hostesses can and can’t do since its obvious they’re just enticing recruits with the prospect of “Come here and this is what awaits you”. This isn’t even subtle. All schools have hostesses but the UT ones seem to be particularly aggressive.
Laugh as we may I’ld be willing to bet the NCAA comes up with a rule that there can be no physical contact whatsoever between female hostesses and recruits. Any incidental contact such as an accidental breast rub will constitute a 5 yard penalty enforceable on the opening kickoff. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if the ncaa ruled that physical contact, even “accidental” breast rubbing, could constitute a secondary violation in the future and that any sexual activity between a recruit and a hostess would constitute a major violation.
SWW
December 15th, 2009
10:17 am
Jeff, you voted for Tim Raines last year. Why the change of heart? Why did he fall out of your good graces?
ChippersLoveChild
December 15th, 2009
10:18 am
Why do you have to think about Alomar? He is arguably the best second baseman of all time. Aside from a few on-field incidents there shouldn’t even be a discussion. He gets in.
Tell It Like It Is
December 15th, 2009
10:21 am
In looking at the bimbos that Tiger is alleged to have shacked up with, there is no doubt in my mind that he has a sexual fetish associated with white women. Why else would he associate himself with so many classless and ugly whores with the social morality of a street prostitute on meth. This makes one wonder what the beautiful wife at home did or didn’t do to make him act so stupidly.
Dre
December 15th, 2009
10:33 am
UCHITEL what she she wants……..$$$$$$$. Too bad she she won’t see much. I’m sure her parents and all of Tigers gals parents and grandparents are so proud of them. I feel sorry for the dad of the girl in Orange in the photo with the Byrnes players, mom too.
...
December 15th, 2009
10:39 am
in case this comment didnt make it thru the 1st time i think
it needs to be repeated:
shouldn’t mark richt just be his own man and make an
important decision and/or do something that doesn’t have
fsu/bowden ties?
eg: the potential hiring of vic keonning (bowden asst coach)
jon richt on clemson football team (only while bowden there)
richt being related to brad johnson (ok, he couldnt help
that but nonetheless its an example)
and im sure im missing 1 or 2.
i just think he has to man up. no ties, no affiliations. just
handle it. agree?
the
RoyNWitchata
December 15th, 2009
10:46 am
I heard the rumors of Tuberville meeting with real estate agents in Athens over the weekend. Maybe he realizes it’s just a nice place to live.
Ross
December 15th, 2009
10:48 am
HEEEEEELPP!!!! My b__ls itch!
EW
December 15th, 2009
10:52 am
Bravo JS, great read.
GeoffDawg
December 15th, 2009
10:56 am
UT official visits just skyrocketed. They may not commit but they’ll at least be there for the lap dances.
Alex Rodriquez
December 15th, 2009
11:05 am
Im glad Shultz over looked my steriod use just like baseball, Its cool to pass for white, me and Roger Clemons and Phelps all get a free pass, How cool is that? Thanks Schutz, Now go target some more black people…Good job.
The Dogfighter Returns
December 15th, 2009
11:11 am
Tiger can always be the pitchman for energizer batteries, after all he keeps going, and, going, and going. Hey Now
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
11:13 am
A-Rod– If you actually read a story now and then, you would know that I’ve destroyed Clemens (and please spell his name correctly). And also Rodriguez. As for Phelps, last I checked, has hasn’t been linked to anything. Now please crawl back into your hole.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
11:13 am
Thanks, EW.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
11:15 am
RoyNWichata — Please get me the name of the real estate agent. I’ll write 100 inches on it. And a book. And a screenplay.
Beautiful Monte
December 15th, 2009
11:15 am
Am I the only one who’s disappointed at the relatively low quality of Tiger’s harem? Most of them look like the kind of floozies that would audition for Flava of Love.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
11:16 am
SWW — Did I do that? Honestly I forgot. TR’s kind of a borderline guy which is probably why that happened. Fortunately I haven’t sent my ballot in yet so I’ll take another look at the numbers. Thanks.
PaulieOldSchool
December 15th, 2009
11:17 am
Lane Kiffin: Great jokes. I especially enjoyed the “Genitalia” joke, and I am sending it on to all my Italian friends. I think they’ll all enjoy, except, maybe, Guido, who might be in touch with you.
Jeff: The day after Joe Jackson is voted into Cooperstown, I will BEGIN to think about ever supporting Rose for the Hall. Joe took $5k (to make up for a crap salary), attempted to give it back, and then went out and had a stellar Series. Rose bet on baseball, inc. his own team, as a player and as a manager for YEARS. Plus, serious fans owe him for putting Ray Fosse out of baseball for good during a freakin’ All-Star game. He never sees Cooperstown, if it’s up to me.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
11:17 am
Tide Rising — I just wish newspapers used recruiting hostesses back when the industry was thriving. But alas, no.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
11:19 am
Midnite — Apologies then. Whoever it was (that IP address) had used your name in the past. In any event, that IP address is now on the banned list.
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
11:21 am
PaulieOldSchool — I’m with you on Joe Jackson. He should be Cooperstown.
Lacey UnderVols
December 15th, 2009
11:23 am
Nip one, Pearl two.
lefty fielder
December 15th, 2009
11:24 am
Jeff
I still think you need a “rim shot” wav link to use with your column . . . or a “hey, but seriously though”. Think of the possibilities. . . the first sit-down stand-up comedian. Dibbs on royalties.
Bawney Fwank
December 15th, 2009
11:32 am
Maybe it’s time to replay the “Best Lil Whorehouse in Texas” concept with the “Best Lil Hoestesshouse in Knoxville”! Dolly Pardon and Burnt Reynolds ( plus he’s a ‘Nole and is probably busy trying to star in the new Bobbie Bowden movie) are a little too old so we’ll have to have a talent search for stars. Any suggestions?
Ted Striker
December 15th, 2009
11:52 am
Jeff,
Wonder what kinda odds bookies would have given you in December 1999 on only one player from that ‘99 team being on the Falcons roster 10 years later – and here’s the kicker – that player being [then] practice-squad member Brian Finneran.
Finn had already been cut from the practice squad/offseason roster of two other NFL teams after being unwanted in the draft. Things didn’t look too promising for him when he signed a practice-squad contract with the 3-10 (Taylor Smith owned) Falcons off the Barcelona Dragons roster.
I’d venture that particular bet would have been a better investment than the Microsoft IPO.
Ted Striker
December 15th, 2009
11:56 am
Beautiful Monte — Show us photos of your last 14 women. If they have 14 teeth between them, I’ll be shocked.
You’re dismissed now.
Rob
December 15th, 2009
11:57 am
(4) Dale Murphy absolutely should get in eventually and hopefully this year.
(3) You are hilarious and the cheech and chong photo is priceless
(2) I’ve heard the exact same thing about Tuberville since before the Kentucky game. I’ve heard he is going to get paid huge money to come to Athens for a short stint until a big name HBC job opens to rekindle his defensive genius and to learn a little from Richt about recruiting.
(1) Mike Smith is the right guy for the job and the Falcons will win out to erase the most embarrassing stat in sports.
(3)
Boo Boo
December 15th, 2009
12:00 pm
Rather than have uniformed state patrol officers hanging out on the sidelines to escort overpaid college coaches to the team bus after a game, it would make more sense to have armed city policemen encircle the field. Rather than bad calls by referees, if the players have been assaulted during the game, forget a fifteen yard penalty, call time-out, file charges immediately and have the player arrested. Of course they would have to extend the time-outs to 20 per half, and a game would take 8-12 hours to play. However, with a few convictions, the NFL might get down to a reasonable level of thugs. The Hall of Fame could limit the number of felony charges to one or two, allowing Mike Vick to have a chance.
GT
December 15th, 2009
12:01 pm
Dale Murphy should be in the hall. His absence endorses the players that cheat. If bad character can keep you out then good character should get you in. When Murphy comes to Atlanta ,that knows him best, he is treated like he is a Hall of Framer, I wonder how Bonds is treated in SF?
DAVID
December 15th, 2009
12:01 pm
SPORTs writers like S knew what was going on……..& remained silent…..They wanted access..like female grooooopies.
My Boy Plays At Tenn
December 15th, 2009
12:08 pm
The way coach Kiffin splained it to us’ins, were that the hostess boobie swipe was a homosestial test, to make sure my boy wuz gonna be trustworty in the shower hall. I remember coach puttin his hand down juinors pants and sayin, “Yep. He’s Tennessee material ok.”
midnite
December 15th, 2009
12:09 pm
Schultz
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but I was NOT pleased to discover that someone had hijacked my screen name on Sunday.
Thanks for responding and I am glad to know the offending IP address has been blocked, it most likely was the Public Library, hah! I do not appreciate someone besmirching my reputation as I can do that all by myself!
I would like to see a registration for the AJC blogs because I believe that would add an increased level of accountability. I am confused as to why the AJC does not require registration as that would enhance the blogging experience for all.
Sonny Clusters
December 15th, 2009
12:15 pm
One of us was always looking at cleavage when we was on the field and that can be distracting when a ball is coming at you 90 miles per hour. They was some good looking girls that watched us playing ball and they was all healthy if you know what we mean. Now, we hardly ever see any cleavage at the plant but you know who is in the Big Apple where all the big apples are.
Old Dawg
December 15th, 2009
12:21 pm
Does part of the hostess plan at UT include false or replacement teeth? Most of the gals I meet here don’t have any of their own teeth. And that includes the governor’s wife.
If the hostesses have a false tooth/teeth stipend, how does the NCAA review that kind of financial arrangement and can they place the Vowels on probation for it?
Just wondering.
midnite
December 15th, 2009
12:26 pm
Schultz they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but I was NOT pleased to discover that someone had hijacked my screen name on Sunday.
Thanks for responding and I am glad to know the offending IP address has been blocked, it most likely was the Public Library, hah! I do not appreciate someone besmirching my reputation as I can do that all by myself!
I would like to see a registration for the AJC blogs because I believe that would add an increased level of accountability. I am confused as to why the AJC does not require registration as that would enhance the blogging experience for all.
Chris
December 15th, 2009
12:32 pm
JS – still waiting on the McGwire proof.
midnite
December 15th, 2009
12:32 pm
Babs should have hired a driver, then he would not need a PR person.
Hollywould
December 15th, 2009
12:34 pm
As usual Jeff/ great slant on the world of sports. Do you think Tubs will have a stipulation in his GA contract saying he does not have to recruit? Kinda like what he did to his last team.
matt
December 15th, 2009
12:35 pm
A Rod- you are a moron.
Tubberville doesn’t seem that out of the realm of possibility to me. He’s good friends with Richt and is a SEC guy. Also, he may want to coach but not want to have the responsibilities of a HC. Coaches in high school do it all the time. They don’t want the head aches and the pressure and dealing with parents so they take assistant jobs with friends.
Don’t understand why Robbie Alomar isn’t getting your vote though. McGriff???? Really????
SWW
December 15th, 2009
12:35 pm
No problem, Jeff. I’m glad you’re willing and able to give him another chance.
Also, here’s your column from last year where you voted for him:
http://www.ajc.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/schultz/entries/2009/01/13/tuesday_countdown_derek_lowes.html
All I'm Saying Is...
December 15th, 2009
12:39 pm
I hear standards falling in the background when we heap praise on a HEAD coach for taking responsibility and saying the buck stops with him — isn’t that why he is the HEAD Coach? Kind of reminds me of the late Bobby Jones stating he doesn’t deserve praise for self reporting a rules violation in golf (I believe he actually said something along the lines of “You might as well praise me for not robbing banks” when cited for praise). And praising Smith by saying words to the effect that Jim Mora Jr. would never have done this is faint praise at best and is actually insulting to Smitty. If you truly admire Smitty, never compare him to the mental midget also known as Jim Mora Jr.
Andre Dawson, yes. The steroid era makes his numbers far more impressive a la Jim Rice than they use to be. I agree with Tim Raines. Sorry, as much as I love Murph and it pains me to type this, his was not a HOF career.
Blyleven and Morris, yes. Lee Smith should be a yes too. The man had the all time Saves leadership and has more saves than the relievers in the HOF. Somehow, he gets penalized for the ‘quality’ of his saves? What sense does that make? Like he had the choice as to when to bring himself in to a game.
I think it’s time to turn the page when it comes to Woods. His reputation is officially toast (see Accenture sponsorship lost) and he finally realized it which is when he decided to take his indefinite leave. I predict he’ll take another six months off and come back in time for the second half of the year and the PGA Championship.
Etowah Eddie
December 15th, 2009
12:47 pm
Friend of mine was recruited to play baseball at Nortre Dame in 1961. They just asked him “Blond or Brunett.” Doubt if much has changed.
Like your column. Don’t understand why some people don’t appreciate humor.
Georgia Vol
December 15th, 2009
12:52 pm
I recall UGA had the Georgia Girls a few years back which one writer called a “dating service for recruits and football players”. Tennessee’s hostesses seem to be tame in comparison.
Bobbi Dud
December 15th, 2009
12:53 pm
Hope Joe Torre goes into the Baseball Hall of Fame someday!
Born2Buzz
December 15th, 2009
12:54 pm
Jeff, this might be your best count down column ever, only because of the high quality of comments. Funny how Dawgs and Jackets can be in accord when it comes to lampooning UT. “Young lady, if you don’t stop doing that, we’ve got a problem.” I love it.
But I’m a little dissappointed that it took you almost 3 hours to come up with the retort for ClevagePolice. I know, it was early and you were up late. Well done nonetheless.
MCook
December 15th, 2009
12:56 pm
Jeff,
Great job.
Tell It Like It Is,
Dude, that was pretty dang funny!
Peace
GSU Eagle 91
December 15th, 2009
12:59 pm
Very entertaining…Murph needs to be in the HOF because he was one of the top players of the 1980’s, along with Hawk and Mike Schmidt. Dale did everything well, and was a class act for kids to emulate…When Boob Horner was healthy, that could have been the best 1-2 punch in the NL for a time…We just didn’t have enough starting pitching in the 1980’s….Or any pitching, for that matter…
bill young
December 15th, 2009
1:06 pm
Abdul Jabar wrote in his book that when he made a visit to UCLA he was picked up by a blonde UCLA hostess and introduced to many other Bruin girls. He knew where he was going to school at that moment. John Wooden Mr. Perfect will say he was not involved in all that . He was just the coach. This was the 60’s. Nothing has changed , improved or gotten worse. Now that they have been Jan Kemp I assume Florida State will be relegated to Georgia’s position of talking about their glorious past.
Danny Ford
December 15th, 2009
1:09 pm
The Byrnes High School “yunksters” were so preoccupied with the Tenneesse offers they lost the S.C. state championship game to a nearby Dorman team.
sidslid
December 15th, 2009
1:13 pm
I think the Wildcat is now the official Statue of Liberty play of the 21st Century. It will never again work in a game not played in a neighborhood back yard.
Tiger Basher
December 15th, 2009
1:17 pm
Makes you wonder if John Smoltz knew anything about Tiger’s cheating side and did it rub off on him, hence his divorce?
99 Greasy Red Caps
December 15th, 2009
1:20 pm
In your Hall of Nuts category should go to all the football coaches who thinks its okay to slap, punch or beat up your players…on the other hand, like Woody Hayes, it is ok to beat on the opposition players, poor Clempsun
becky
December 15th, 2009
1:23 pm
elin doesnt deserve the jokes she deserves to be treated like a lady . I dont think she needs any more hurt right now.
Independent Thinker
December 15th, 2009
1:24 pm
Welp I have one thing to say, Tiger Woods did not think he was a black man when he was asked about his race early on in his career. Well, we will see just how black he is when these white people get finished with him. Not meant to be racist, but when I say white people, I am referring to the establishment i.e., Golf, Sponsors, Girls, White people.
David Granger
December 15th, 2009
1:27 pm
In the interest of fairness, those “Tennessee Vol Vixens” probably get paid by the amount of boob contact…so naturally they’ll be a-squishin’ and a-squashin’. (Come up to Tennessee and play in the mountains!)
Lacey UnderVols
December 15th, 2009
1:30 pm
From SI.com…..
“Stephanie Barnes, a former ‘Bama Belle, understands how things can get out of hand. One high-profile recruit, she says, tried to lure her to his hotel room, saying, ‘The girls at Kentucky and Georgia did it.’ “
MCook
December 15th, 2009
1:43 pm
Yeah, your being a racist.
Bottom line slick… Tiger screwed up.
Big Time…
Ghost
December 15th, 2009
2:01 pm
Hey, my company makes Sparkle towels. They are not cheap! LOL
Uga=joke
December 15th, 2009
2:02 pm
richt isn’t getting tuber. yeah he’s going to leave a head coaching job and move to a d coord? lol. stupid morons.
gdawginkalamazoo
December 15th, 2009
2:21 pm
Jeff, HILARIOUS column today.
Murphy belongs in the HOF. The man dominated the game in the 80’s playing on the Atlanta Braves for Christ’s sake. I hope he gets in, a class act.
Regarding Tiger. I am so mad at him right now I could spit. I have been spending hours on the DRIVING range trying to get better at golf. IF he had bothered to share the TRUE SECRET to his success I think I would have followed that instead. Well maybe not, that whole STD thing scares me more than a sand trap.
Mr. Teacher Man
December 15th, 2009
2:24 pm
119th
SOUTH GA DAWG FAN
December 15th, 2009
2:39 pm
Love the way Coach smith went Nuclear on the sideline after a horrible call , and a few minutes later was fatherly when he was talking to a player that did something stupid , no names called I just have the most respect for Coach Smith and say to the fair weather Fans go ahead and jump off you will be back next year
Stafford sux
December 15th, 2009
3:07 pm
Murphy – yes. Ga had their own escort service in the news a few years back. So maybe you guys shouldn’t throw stones.
Sammie
December 15th, 2009
3:16 pm
Tiger Woods is now reaping what he sowed. At least there’s some justice in the world.
Hillbilly Deluxe
December 15th, 2009
3:41 pm
Jeff,
Each of the names you put on your Hall Of Fame ballot are worthy; good job. I think there’s a few you left off who should go in too. Maybe next year.
azcat225
December 15th, 2009
4:03 pm
Have to agree with a previous poster about Lee Smith; he should be in. Any particular reason why you wouldn’t vote for him, Jeff, or he’s one of those “49% yes 51% no” guys for you?
Great column this week but just a titch short of last week’s. You are on fire lately…or the Count is.
gdawginkalamazoo
December 15th, 2009
4:09 pm
Jeff, I might be misremembering this, but what team did Clemens retire from? Was it Houston or the Yankees.
danny c
December 15th, 2009
4:58 pm
Alomar belongs in the “Spitting Hall of Shame”.
dirk
December 15th, 2009
5:53 pm
They don’t call it Rocky Top for nothing.
GoodTraction
December 15th, 2009
7:43 pm
Jeff – I respect your opinion – so wondering why Andres Galarraga is a non-mention . . .
How Tough is the SEC
December 15th, 2009
8:01 pm
About one tenth as tough as the Falcons.
bob horner had a sweet compact swing
December 15th, 2009
8:18 pm
Tiger had a threesome……
Jeff Schultz
December 15th, 2009
8:18 pm
GoodTraction — Galarraga is a possible Hall of Famer. But I need to think about it more. How much was he a GREAT player as opposed to a good to very good player for a long time? I guess it’s what you believe the HOF should be.
dirk
December 15th, 2009
9:01 pm
How about Orlando Cepeda? If you are willing to vote for Rose, how can you leave the best player the Braves ever had off the ballot. I know he had a terrible reputation and he did all kinds of mean nasty things, but he could hit like nobody else and he was smooth as silk in the field.
Just call me Woody
December 15th, 2009
9:18 pm
Kind of makes you wonder exactly how Tiger got that leg injury. I wonder if he was ever recruited by Tennessee. I doubt Stanford could compete in that arena.
Dave from GT
December 15th, 2009
10:46 pm
Your report about Leavitt is irresponsible.
You should let the university complete the investigation, then comment.
You don’ know the man, and you have little concept of what it takes to accomplish what he has.
You are a journalist, not a tabloid con artist.
Tomorrow, after you have taken your morning piss, look in the mirror and try to remind yourself of that.
Bad Form!!!
Dr Richard Handler
December 15th, 2009
11:17 pm
Once again… BRILLIANT! Sarge, it’s some of your best work ever! Cheech and Chong cruisin’ with Babs, Love it!!!
Colonel Clink
Ted Striker
December 16th, 2009
1:17 am
To: The World
From: Theodore Striker
RE: 10:46 p.m blogger
Although the context of the message made no sense to me whatsover, I couldn’t help but laugh about the deliver. “Tomorrow, after you’ve taken you morning p……”
Jumping Jehosaphat that struck me as funny.
Now I have to go have a liver transplant or something. See everyone in 2010, maybe
1 Dead DAWG
December 16th, 2009
2:18 am
At least this article didn’t get the trailer dawgs down to the LI-BARRY to raise hell with ya. They can continue planning on not supporting the HUGE “G” on their Ford by not traveling to Shreveport. Dawg fans are funny. Lowest of the low.
Drexel Gal
December 16th, 2009
3:09 am
It is obvious that Mr. Schultz couldn’t find any way to villify Rush Limbaugh this week. Better luck next week, Nebbish.
Ed
December 16th, 2009
3:57 am
Oh Drexel… your indignation is so cute. Rush wants to be villified; that is how he makes a living. It is his bread and butter, so to speak. Nice vocabulary though!. I did not know that ditto brains could use such interesting verbs. You go girl!
Dave From GT… when you say things like, “You are a journalist, not a tabloid con artist,” you sound like Dr. McCoy from Star Trek: “I’m a doctor Jim, not a representative hostess of some University.”
Jeff Schultz
December 16th, 2009
7:11 am
Drexel — Nebbish? Really? Do you even know what that means?
Hank
December 18th, 2009
6:06 pm
Georgia Tech doesn’t have to worry about Hostess scandals as all their coeds look like young Janet Renos wearing coke bottle lens.
Countdown doom: Leach's closet, Tiger effect, Dogs' 'honor' | Jeff Schultz
December 29th, 2009
8:30 am
[...] our youths. What is going on with college football coaches lately? First, there’s reports of South Florida’s Jim Leavitt grabbing a player by the throat and punching him in the the face twice at halftime of a game. Then Mark “Jabba The” [...]
SHENANIGANS
January 6th, 2010
4:01 pm
If Dale was a Yankee or a Red Sox player, he’d have been in the hall years ago.
ZorroShepperd
January 6th, 2010
4:03 pm
I can understand keeping Murphy out, I dont understand why McGriff didnt make it. Seven homers away from the 500 milestone doesnt get you in; thats ridiculous. Willie Stargell of Pitsburgh Pirates finished with 475 homers and he is in. McGriff did more and is not put in. Its not fair and it will never be fair. As for Murphy, Murf didnt do enough so he will always be on the outside looking in.
JASon
January 6th, 2010
4:13 pm
Fred McGriff may not be a hall of famer. But hitting 30 or more home runs seven years in a row was a big accomplishment at that time, and I can remember it was something we looked forward to seeing every year.
PhilJohnson
January 6th, 2010
4:18 pm
Shenanigans: You are wrong! Dale would have never got in under any circumstance. He didnt do enough to get in. Fred McGriff, on the other hand, got screwed. The rule against Fred apparently is that if he finished with 499 home runs, he is kept out. 500 is the only number that would have gotten Fred in. That ridiculous!
Smack
January 6th, 2010
4:44 pm
You know I hate when you’re right or you say or do something I agree with, but thanks Jeff for voting for Murph. Clearly one of the top 3 or 4 hitters of the 80’s. All those around him on that list are now in, in my opinion.
Braves Beat
January 6th, 2010
5:15 pm
Murphy–nice guy, not hall of fame quality.
King Donko of Punchstania
January 6th, 2010
5:39 pm
First of all, Dale Murphy was one of my favorite players growing up. As much as I hate to admit it, he just flat out didn’t get it done consistently for a long enough period of time to make it to Cooperstown- like it or not, that is a fact. The whole “coach abuse” thing has gotten out of hand. If it were not for the media molestation of coaches and college football in general, these situations would be non-issues. There’s not one HOF coach that wouldn’t have been fired under today’s standards for what was done 20-30 years ago, and in my opinion, the young people that entered those programs left as better men because of those coaches and the toughness of their programs. This is a microcosm of the problem with our country- it’s the pussification of America. Now, everyone wants to piss and moan when someone puts them in their place. After the accomplishments of the people who came together and defeated the Japanese and Germans during WWII, we as a nation should be collectively ashamed of the “thanks” we’ve shown by allowing the majority of Americans to pussify our society.