Countdown looneys: Tiger, his lair, Holyfield and a Gator
The Count: Big with the ladies.
Let’s just state the obvious. The Count is a ladies man. His ancestors invented the hickey. The reason he never has gotten married was he knew it would significantly limit what he does best. Count, I mean. What did you think I was talking about? One hottie, two hotties, three hotties. See, you just can’t do that when you’re married. In theory. Oh Tiger, let’s count down, shall we?
10. When a Swedish super model just isn’t enough
As somebody who blogs several times a day, constantly in the public eye, you can imagine how many women throw themselves at me. It never stops. But I suppose Tiger Woods has an even larger gallery than I do. (Only because of the Nike deal.) But here’s what I don’t get: His wife, Elin Nordegren, is beyond hot. What is he doing?
9. Using a 3-iron — oh, she got all of that one
Tiger has Elin waiting for him at home.
The good news is that Woods did not fall off the same ledge as Steve Phillips, so he didn’t hit the drive-thru at ESPN’s Break Room Interns ‘R Us for his fling. Excuse me: alleged fling. No, he did much better. But when you’re married to a bikini model from Sweden — and by the way she has a twin sister, just thought I’d throw that in — is there not a point at which your ego, like, crosses the finish line? Instead, we have news that Woods allegedly was having an affair with New York “socialite” Rachel Uchitel, who is denying the relationship, yet strangely has just hired attorney Gloria Allred, ambulance-chasing equivalent for star scorned women. Folks, I really don’t care about the affair. Neither should you. That’s between Woods, Nordegren and the Swedish Bikini Models Union 684. But when TMZ and the National Enquirer are breaking news about Nordegren going bonkers and scratching
It turns out Rachel was a fan, too. (Not sure about the dogs.)
Woods’ face off and chasing him down the street at their country club home with a golf club (Nike, I’m sure) and busting out the windows of his Escalade, which he crashes into a fire hydrant and a tree — it’s news. And that’s why . . .
8. Yes, do you have any $4 million rings left in stock?
Woods doesn’t owe anybody an explanation. But he may not have a choice. Putting out a statement that suggests his wife was trying to rescue him by breaking out the car window with the golf club –when the driver’s side door wasn’t even dented — just makes him look
Vanessa Bryant and her $4 million apology ring.
stupid. He could say nothing. In theory, he should say nothing. But saying nothing is only going to make this worse. As for Woods and Noregren, I don’t know how all this impacts their wedded bliss. But if I’m Tiger, this would be a good time to shop for the Kobe Bryant diamond ring special. And then: stop counting.
7. Tiger: The betting windows are open
If Woods has a feeling how all of this might turn out, here’s a good way for him to cover some costs. Place a bet on himself. Bookmaker.com has posted odds on what will happen to Woods first. The favorite bet right now is that Woods and Nordegren stay married at plus-150 (wager $100 to profit $150). Also on the board: Tiger was under the influence (plus-200), Tiger gets a divorce (plus-225), Tiger admits the affair (plus-250), Tiger will buy Elin a ring (plus-400).
6. Dateline: Athens. Everything’s back to normal
Willie Martinez: He lives (still).
It appears Mark Richt has the Georgia program back on track. The Bulldogs beat Georgia Tech, and the following night a player, Montez Robinson, was arrested for underage possession of alcohol. There is a certain comfort in familiarity, don’t you think? By the way, still no word on the fate of defensive coordinator Willie Martinez, although Richt said on his radio show Monday night: “I think people think that just because we need to get better or make some kind of change — they think it always involves changing of people, too. And that’s not always necessarily true.” I’m going to assume that comment was nothing more than a misdirection play.
5. Just when you thought Evander Holyfield had hit bottom…
Does any part of this sound good to you? Evander Holyfield vs. Francois Botha in Uganda. Holyfield, who turned 47 last month, will fight — check that — will occasionally collide with Botha, 41, in Uganda Jan. 17. The two will fight for something called the World Boxing Foundation title. If you’ve never heard of the World Boxing Foundation, well, that just makes you normal. Quoth Ken Sanders, Holyfield’s manager: “It’s not one of the top three [titles], it’s sort of in that next three.” There’s a next three? So this is like the Independence, Meineke Car Care and EagleBank Bowls?
4. Ethiopia, Korea, Uganda — what country will take him?
Meet Frans Botha: ring flotsam.
Holyfield has gone from bad to sad to cartoon to … what comes after cartoon? He inexplicably is trying to get a real title shot again. He has angry creditors lined up in Fayette because he refuses to sell any of his property to pay off debts related to marriages, kids and a money-pit of a house. Still a great guy. Just stubborn and not a real clear-thinker at times. Fighting Botha (who recently came out of a five-year retirement and has been suspended for steroids in the past) will accomplish nothing, save more embarrassment. Holyfield recently had fights canceled in Ethiopia and Korea because the money fell through. Fact is, he’s not even going to Uganda for the Wednesday news conference. Why? Because the check for this one hasn’t landed in the mailbox yet. But Sanders feels confident. When asked if Holyfield cares that people will continue to mock him for this fight, Sanders said: “I think he cares. But he can only do what he can do.” Translation: Nobody else will fight him. I guess the joke has gotten old.
3. So who gets the power play in this case?
Keith Ballard: dolt.
Maybe you’ve seen this video by now. If not, behold: One of the dumbest moves by any athlete in the history of professional sports. After the Thrashers’ Ilya Kovalchuk scored a goal Monday night, Florida defenseman Keith Ballard was so upset that he attempted to swing his stick against the goal post. Problem was, he whacked his own goalie, Tomas Vokoun, in the head. The strangest thing is the video makes it appear that Ballard saw that he hit Vokoun but ignored him, then swung and hit the net again, then skated off. Fortuntely for the Panthers, Vokoun will be OK. It’s believed Ballard has gone missing. The Panthers deny any involvement but are selling his equipment on eBay.
2. Evander: How about fight at halftime of a UFL game!
The United Football League, which Michael Vick wisely sidestepped, lost $30 million in its first season. You would think for $30 million, more people would realize the season was even played.
This is Carlos Dunlap (when sober).
Here’s a shocker: attendance fell short of projections. And yet: UFL commissioner Michael Huyghue said the league will move on to season two with six teams, yet to be named, but possibly in Uganda.
1. And finally:A Gator is arrested
Florida defensive lineman Carlos Dunlap, who was named MVP of last year’s national championship team, was arrested at 3:25 this morning in Gainesville when he was found passed out in his car at the stoplight. I’m not sure but I’m guessing the light had turned green a few times. Dunlap did not do well on a sobriety test, refused to take a breathalyzer test and was charged with DUI. Florida coach Urban Meyer hasn’t decided on Dunlap’s status yet. Probably has to check with Brandon Spikes first.
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105 comments Add your comment
NC Braves Fan
December 1st, 2009
12:57 pm
First! what do I win?
Rodster
December 1st, 2009
12:58 pm
Coach Meyer will give Dunlap a good “talking to” before he lets him suit up for the SEC championship game.
gabeaux
December 1st, 2009
12:59 pm
I think Elin was practicing her short game using Tiger’s face as a mat. Old Swedish trick.
Rodster
December 1st, 2009
1:00 pm
You know H3ll has frozen over when Nick Saban and Alabama are the sentimental favorites.
dean
December 1st, 2009
1:00 pm
Interesting. I’m not going to say the obvious!
Lloyd Christmas
December 1st, 2009
1:01 pm
I fell off the jet way again…..
dean
December 1st, 2009
1:01 pm
Heck, I thought I had reached the pinnacle of blogging for once!
Rodster
December 1st, 2009
1:02 pm
Oh, so Elin was working on her “short” game?
Lloyd Christmas
December 1st, 2009
1:04 pm
I got worms!
Chris Broe
December 1st, 2009
1:04 pm
Is Elin’s twin sister older or younger?
Monday night shocker: Saints are night owls, and in New Orleans, the night time is the right time. The Pats could have won that game, but they are Sunday afternoon players.
It was a question of bio-rhythym. Saints’ was up. Pats’ was down.
Dont count Brady out. Dont count the Giants out. certainly Brett is in the mix. P. Manning too.
Football is great again.
Vick. The phillies send him in. Then a weird broken play develops. It’s uncanny. It’s like they’re baiting the league by portraying Vick as a clumsy oaf/fifth wheel nudnik. There may come a crunch time in the playoffs and look out for Vick then.
Does the body good
December 1st, 2009
1:04 pm
HEY EVERYONE! HOW BOUT A NICE, HOT BOWL OF 31-24!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
reebok
December 1st, 2009
1:05 pm
Got any pictures of twins, now that you mention it…?
Dan
December 1st, 2009
1:06 pm
sources are saying Meyer is going to suspend Dunlap for all of Florida’s offensive plays on Saturday.
Lloyd Christmas
December 1st, 2009
1:07 pm
The Monkees were a huge influence on the Beatles.
MiltonDawg
December 1st, 2009
1:08 pm
I wonder if Tiger had his OnStar working at the time? Can’t they help out all situations? Yes, UGA is back to normal, although i’m starting to think CMR won’t do a thing about Martinez. I think his plan is for more up/downs next year and wind sprints.
bugman
December 1st, 2009
1:10 pm
NC Braves Fan,
A cookie (it’s left over from T-giving, tho).
Toots
December 1st, 2009
1:12 pm
Oh Jeff…this is a dream post for you. You have a legitimate reason to post a bikini photo of Elin. Ka-ching!
Sonny Clusters
December 1st, 2009
1:13 pm
There is a lot of potential with this blog, Jeff. First, that goalie got a bad deal. When we was playing ball we never played hockey – but once Stinky Wintes was standing in the dugout and somebody took a practice swing and broke they bat over Stinky’s head and it didn’t hardly faze Stinky Wintes. It did raise a stink, though. Second, Tiger Woods may be in hiding because they is a Taylor made emblem on his head and not a Nike swoosh. If he’d play around on Elin he’d probably play around on Nike, too. Last, if Mark Richt is going to be head coach he should be able to decide who going to help him. Better to go down with his own choices than with someone else’s. Richt, not Tiger. This is all very confusing. Lots of arrests this week. How many SEC and how many ACC?
Rachel Uchitel Pics « Wilson's Blog
December 1st, 2009
1:13 pm
[...] Countdown looneys: Tiger, his lair, Holyfield and a Gator | Jeff … [...]
Law Dawg
December 1st, 2009
1:14 pm
Great article Jeff. You seldom fail to bring laughter and in some cases, real insight to the world. Thanks.
7-5
December 1st, 2009
1:17 pm
7-5
Bryan G.
December 1st, 2009
1:17 pm
I think Meyer will suspend Dunlap for the game and then Dunlap will change it to just the first quarter.
I Run This State
December 1st, 2009
1:20 pm
30-24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am SO SO SO glad this hurts the Nerds so bad!!!!! It’s going to be a great year on the blogs!!!
Nobody gives a _____ if Tech wins the ACC, or even the Orange Bowl….. they wil only be #3 in the state!!!!!
1. UGA
2. Georgia State
3. Georgia Tech
Eat your words for the last year Techies!!! EPIC FAIL!!!!!!
TO HELL WITH GEORGIA TECH!!!!
Schultzie…… we are still waiting for the next “Paul Johnson is a Football Genius” article!!!! The way things are going up in Gwinnett County, Parkview or Brookwood might have a spot open for him soon!!!
1-9, 12 wins vs. UGA since 1965. Must suck to be a Nerd!!!!!!
SadDawg
December 1st, 2009
1:25 pm
Great pics. Coulda just left it at that…..Haha!
East Atlanta
December 1st, 2009
1:25 pm
SEC referees have determined, after reviewing the tape, that Carlos Dunlap is wide awake and stone sober.
SimpleDawg
December 1st, 2009
1:27 pm
You’re married to one of the most beautiful women in the world, you have billions of dollars, and your job is playing golf.
Do you jeopardize all of that for a little strange on the side?……allegedly.
If there’s any truth to his infidelity….then never again do I want to hear about how smart Tiger is.
Unbelievable !
FalconUGAFan
December 1st, 2009
1:28 pm
@dan and bryanG That was pure comedy my friends…. Of course we have our own arrestee…
You know I think us Dawg fans should heed the plight of ramble on, yellow fuzz and m and put a cap on the taunting. Lets say no taunting after Saturday. I sure would hate to see you guys have to eat a plate of GT crow next year. They are a pretty good football team. Just sayin
Orange Bowl Committee
December 1st, 2009
1:34 pm
………Which powerhouse is Georgia gonna play?
Louisiana-Monroe or Louisiana-Lafayette in the Shreveport Independence Bowl
Tide Rising
December 1st, 2009
1:35 pm
Sad to see Holyfield come to this station in life. But poor money management, that money pit of a house, and multiple kids by multiple women did him in. That and unfortunately like you said stubbornness.
Uganda of all places? Well, at least Idi Amin isn’t around anymore.
True enough Elin is beyond hot. But no matter how hot a woman is eventually a man gets tired of her bool sheet and he’ll start to meander.
Dunlap and a DUI. Word is that Meyer wants to suspend him for only the first half which sounds hard to believe. Normally I think players get suspended several games for a DUI. I remember Colquitt at UT got suspended 5 games for a DUI by Fulmer and I think the one or 2 Bama players that I can remember getting DUIs got 1 or 2 game suspensions. 1/2 a game would be unheard of though especially considering he is underage to begin with. He’s a great player and there will be a dopoff to the next guy behind him. But it shouldn’t matter that much considering Florida is loaded with talent anyway.
Tide Rising
December 1st, 2009
1:38 pm
Orange bowl committee,
Don’t underestimate Lousiana-Monroe. I heard they won a big upset a few years back.
Innocent Bystander
December 1st, 2009
1:38 pm
I’ll be the one to say it… Doesn’t it look like he intentionally whacked his goalie?
And for the record… 10-2 > 7-5 and ACCCG > bowling in Shreveport
SadDawg
December 1st, 2009
1:42 pm
Tiger broke a rule of the wealthy that a wealthy man once laughing told me about: don’t sleep with someone unless they have at least as much to lose as you do. For Tiger to follow that rule, however, the only girl-on-the-side who would qualify is Queen Elizabeth, right?
jeffrey d
December 1st, 2009
1:42 pm
And for the record… 10-2 > 7-5 and ACCCG > bowling in Shreveport
For the record, 30>24.
Elin Nordegren Woods Tiger Woods Elin Nordegren Elin Nordegren
December 1st, 2009
1:43 pm
[...] Countdown looneys: Tiger, his lair, Holyfield and a Gator | Jeff … [...]
EW
December 1st, 2009
1:46 pm
I am thinking Dunlap will be suspended by Meyer for half the game….the half where the offense is on the field
falcon 71
December 1st, 2009
1:49 pm
Tiger should know to keep it on the qt. thats what god made hookers for
SadDawg
December 1st, 2009
1:50 pm
Uh oh, Richt did this after last season with the “promises” of “working harder than ever improving defense, penalties, and special teams,” and we all know how that turned out. The staff all got raises….
Gary
December 1st, 2009
1:51 pm
FalconUGAFan – I like the rest of the Dawg fans will taunt for a little while about the recent game and then go back to the usual Tech jokes that all Dawg fans love and enjoy. Ramble On, yellow fuzz, m, thank god and greyhound, and that moron saint simons only talked about one thing and that was 45-42.
I do see a new trend for the bees and that is to talk about Shreveport as if the Dawgs are actually going to play there. Hey bumbles, thanks to our win over you, the Dawgs will likely play in Atlanta or Nashville. It is highly unlikely that UGA falls below either of those two bowls. It is really up to which one wants South Carolina. Either way they will be both fun games against an ACC team and both will be sellouts……which is a far cry from what you will see Saturday in the ACC Championship.
Red and Black
December 1st, 2009
1:58 pm
The 7-5 dawgs will be met at the Shereveport Greyhound Bus Station by the Welcoming Committee.
SadDawg
December 1st, 2009
2:00 pm
Richt’s reply: “I’m not going to make any comment about anything like that. I think people think that just because we need to get better or make some kind of change — they think it always involves changing of people, too. And that’s not always necessarily true. But, you know, we’re going to get things back on track, I can promise you that.”
SadDawg
December 1st, 2009
2:01 pm
Promises, promises…..
FalconUGAFan
December 1st, 2009
2:08 pm
Gary– I’m with ya….It has been very quiet from that quarter…..and that was a very nice taunt. You actually spoke words rather than post numbers…carry on….
Sonny Clusters
December 1st, 2009
2:09 pm
Jeff, breaking news. Tiger has more trouble than we knew. Turns out he lives across the street from the Addams Family . . . and that can’t be good. The Addams Family has hired a lawyer to talk with the press. The Addams Family is in Tiger’s corner – saying there was no indication Tiger was beaten by his wife. That may have been Lurch talking. Now, another woman is claiming Tiger was cheating with her. All Tiger wants is a little privacy.
74Dawg
December 1st, 2009
2:11 pm
Jeff, I can’t believe this hasn’t gotten more hits. The Ed. needs to tease the Elin pic on the main page. What did you do to p*** him off? Nice blog,but is Evander even cable news worthy anymore?
Hillbilly Deluxe
December 1st, 2009
2:16 pm
As somebody who blogs several times a day, constantly in the public eye, you can imagine how many women throw themselves at me. It never stops.
Nap time’s over Jeff. Back to work.
The move by Keith Ballard has got to be the dumbest thing I’ve seen in sports and I’ve been watching since the early 60’s. I do wonder what the NHL will do. If he’d hit an opposing player he’d probably be gone for a year. Should the penalty for being careless (or stupid) with your stick be any different because it was your teammate?
Lou
December 1st, 2009
2:18 pm
Innocent Bystander..10-2 > 7-5..assuming all the other relevant data is equal..but as 30-24 proved Saturday night..10-2 in the ACC ACC. Based on the physical whooping Tech took up front on both sides of the line of scrimmage Saturday night, do you really belive you win 10 in the SEC? If so, you are an ignorant fan who does not know the game. Georgia has struggled this year..with turnovers and penalties..but when push comes to shove (which literally happens in the trenches of the line of scrimmage), the SEC athletes are stronger, tougher, quicker, and have to perform at a high level week in and week out. While you may not respect a Kentucky, Auburn, Arkansas, LSU, South Carolina etc thinking they are middle of the road teams..they are infinitely tougher than a Duke, Wake Forest, Virginia, Maryland, Virgina, etc…Week in..week out..SEC games are hard fought and physical…The Dogs brought it Saturday night gashing a Tech team that looked like it didn’t know how to hit because it didn’t have to do it all year. 2 mediocre SEC teams just beat your conference champion representatives. The SEC keeps winning national titles and will play for another one this season. 10-2>7-5 until you input all the relevant data..like SEC>ACC
Congrats to you on your upcoming bowl trip. Wherever you go, it will be better than a snowy game in late December or one on blue carpet like you are used to attending. Celebrate your 10 wins. It is a cause for celebration at Tech. 10 wins is the minimum acceptable standard for the Dogs (not a once every 20 years accomplishment). When we fall below that like we have done this year, people lose their jobs. We know we had an unaccaptable year in Athens..but in our worst season in 15 years, we still beat your best team in 20 years. I know it’s tough but accept the reality.
Gary
December 1st, 2009
2:22 pm
Thanks FalconUGAFan. Ramble On has been around a time or two, but the rest of the nerd herd hasn’t been seen and last I heard is the other five Tech fans are forming a search party for their lost brothers. The one clue they have in finding them is a game of WoW that has been going non-stop since Saturday night and haunting cries of “Caleb King just scored again” coming from the residence that is hosting the WoW game.
As for Tiger Woods – didn’t Earl teach him never to argue with a woman who could swing a club better than he can? Just hope for Tiger’s sake she used a Nike.
Top Dawg
December 1st, 2009
2:25 pm
Jeff: Will the UGA program continue to stagnate?
Lowcountry Bulldawg
December 1st, 2009
2:25 pm
If we are going to make fun of Tech at least get the SCORE RIGHT!!!!
31-24? Really? LMAO!
Ricky
December 1st, 2009
2:27 pm
Shultzie, you media people make up your own truths as you go. You even managed to squeeze
in a mention of Vick in here, you just can’t help yourself can you? You don’t care about the affair?Let me lift my feet up on that one. You use words like “What is he doing?” to supplant the idea of guilt yet it drives you crazy that Woods can thumb his nose at the media and the idea that he owes anyone an explanation. You add the obligatory “alleged” but you hate the fact that if you don’t you are in danger of being liable. Pisses you off doesn’t it. This picture of Woods “alleged” fling is the first I have seen of this Rachel, was that the best one you could find? I’ve seen better looking women in the Dagwood comic strip. I don’t blame them for feeling compelled to keep their private life private………..look what you and the media do with it, you make up what you want us to think the truth is all in an effort to sell this fiction. Even you are quoting TMZ and the National Enquirer
as credible sources. That’s when it’s news…….absolutely.
She hired Gloria Allred? Now what? We know Gloria called her first. Is she going to claim she was drugged in a hotel room even though she was on cycle.
Yep, sounds like a couple had a fight, might have even been about a “rumored” affair. I had a fight with my wife last night and I am sure you don’t give a crap about that. Well it is the same with me about the Woods’s square off, I don’t give a crap. They’ll either work it out or get a divorce………..who cares, it’s life, it happens! Oh, and I know you are dying to know. No, I did not hit the fire hydrant and yes, we worked it out.
Dooley's Cardiologist
December 1st, 2009
2:28 pm
Not bad Schultzie,
I think I actually laughed at that one..
Lou,
I thought I told the supervisor to quit letting you off the line to use the computer. Oh well, I guess you can’t fix stupid.
Karma Police
December 1st, 2009
2:31 pm
“so he didn’t hit the drive-thru at ESPN’s Break Room Interns ‘R Us for his fling.” LMAO It’s lines like that that keep me coming back, you Tech homer.
Dooley's Cardiologist
December 1st, 2009
2:33 pm
How come at least ONE of the five stories under the “UGA and SEC” heading always has a title that involves the words: DUI, Arrested, Underage Consumption or Suspended License?? It’s really messing with my google searches.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
2:34 pm
NC Braves Fan — The check is in the mail. It will have a Uganda postmark.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
2:34 pm
Rodster — I suspect you are correct.
Dude
December 1st, 2009
2:35 pm
Dunlap is sooooo suspended for the first series on Saturday. That’ll teach him, right Urban?
Winky
December 1st, 2009
2:36 pm
Jeff– The truth has come out about Tiger’s accident. When Tiger hopped into his Cadillac, the song “Freeze Frame” by the J. Geils Band was just coming on the radio. Tiger heard the sound of the camera clicking at the start of the song and did what he always does when he hears a camera…he “drove” it into the trees. His caddie Steve Williams is searching for the deejay that played the song.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
2:37 pm
Dan — That’s very funny. Maybe even special teams.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
2:37 pm
Toots — You know me too well.
James
December 1st, 2009
2:39 pm
In regards to holyfield: How do guys that make millions of dollars not just pay one of their body guards either to be ready to provide rubbers or ensure that these women are on the pill? And what kind of woman that fools around with pro athletes (c’mon, you know the type) isn’t on the pill, anyways? Surely they’re not all catholic? Or did he really want 14 kids?
Sounds like Martinez is back. Tech WILL have a chance next year! Notice they played like crap and still had a chance to win the game in the final minutes.
I propose that Tech’s defense is not allowed to listen to “All the way turnt up” again until they shut somebody out.
Irony is alive and well–Tiger Woods, beaten up by a girl, with his own clubs…
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
2:40 pm
Sonny. Take a lap. Come back. Everything will seem clearer.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
2:42 pm
OK people- You ask and I provide. Here’s a link to a picture of the Nordegren Twins! http://www.thedivot.com/images/sister2.jpg
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
2:43 pm
Law Dog — Thanks. I would’ve settled for humor OR insight. But both? Bless you.
FalconUGAFan
December 1st, 2009
2:44 pm
Dyum!! Wait can I say that…..
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
2:45 pm
Tide RIsing — Wouldn’t it be cool there if Idi Amin was around to say, “Let’s get ready to rumble!”
Bank Walker, Texas Ranger
December 1st, 2009
2:45 pm
Word is Dunlap is going to have to run the steps of the Swamp 100 times over a 5 day period. This will take place after he returns to school after the Winter break, so he won’t be worn out for the SEC Champ or the BCS game.
Bank Walker, Texas Ranger
December 1st, 2009
2:47 pm
By the way, I’d let her chase me with a 4 iron any day!
Gary
December 1st, 2009
2:51 pm
I second Bank Walker, if Elin wanted to work on her stroke with me I would certainly let her.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
2:51 pm
Hillbilly Deluxe — I saw duct-tape Ballard to the goal posts and let the goalie shoot pucks at him. No pads.
StingerSplash
December 1st, 2009
2:52 pm
I Run (and other Doggies),
Gratified that beating us actually means something to y’all.
Not going to deal in the what-ifs should Thomas have caught that pass on fourth down (seriously, you left one of the top 5 receivers in college football all alone on fourth down. Good heavens. He was probably shocked how wide open he was, leading to his Jackie Smith moment).
Great game plan by Richt and Bobo. The way to beat Tech’s offense isn’t with defense, it’s with offense, by limiting the number of possessions and controlling the tempo. Very smart move by Richt not to defer either, knowing he had to set a tone early and did just that. Georgia’s strength on defense has been its interior line and they played well. If you want to stop the option, got to stop the first phase and Georgia (like Clemson) has a couple of beasts in the middle.
Bulldogs also didn’t make the mistakes that had killed them this year — only five penalties and one turnover. Wouldn’t mind having those totals against the Vols or Kentucky, would you?
Good win for y’all. Enjoy it while you can.
P.S.: Have a good time in Shreveport. We’ll send y’all a postcard from Miami.
Reid Adair
December 1st, 2009
2:57 pm
Great list. I don’t even know where to begin. What are the odds on one of the UFL expansion locations being in Uganda?
StingerSplash
December 1st, 2009
2:57 pm
Jeff,
But after announcing the fighters, would have Amin decided to finish what Tyson started?
I Run This State
December 1st, 2009
2:59 pm
30-24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
State Rankings:
1. UGA
2. Georgia Southern
3. Georgia State
4. Georgia Tech
muahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
How poetic is it that we beat Tech by RUNNING it down their throats!!!!
TO HELL WITH GEORGIA TECH!!!!
bugman
December 1st, 2009
3:02 pm
Mmmmmm, twins.
Thanks Jeff!
Tiger's 9 Iron
December 1st, 2009
3:04 pm
Oh yes, Elin grip it like that, oh no use two hands please. Yes that’s it, interlock your index and pinky. There you go nice, nice, now gently swing there you go, sweet. Oh… no no no no not the back window of Escalade. Oh sh!t that hurt! Somebody dial 911. My head hurts and my shaft is bent.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
3:04 pm
Reid — For all we know the “U” in UFL stands for Uganda.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
3:05 pm
Stinger Splash — More importantly, who would want to eat your children first, Amin or Tyson?
Brad in Jasper
December 1st, 2009
3:06 pm
Yeeeeeeah. Let’s not get into a quality of bowl pissing contest here boys. At least not concerning the last several years.
gdawginkalamazoo
December 1st, 2009
3:15 pm
Dunlap seemed like he was pretty drunk there. Meyer will probably have him sit out until he is sober. Which if the report is acurate will probably be half way through the 4th quarter.
Funny how all the Tech fans bash us for 365 minus 60 minutes about their a$$whoopin they put us last year. Now that they lose all we hear is “well the game didn’t mean that much to us”. LMAO! I wonder if PETA is going to come after us for abusing the bees on Saturday night. Smashmouth SEC football and they brought a nerf ball.
Our RB’s had I RUN THIS STATE on their eye blacks. LMAO! Should have put them on the back of their helments so the Tech defense could see them.
Crappy season for us but at least we won the ACC.
gdawginkalamazoo
December 1st, 2009
3:17 pm
Tiger should have left his 1 iron laying around the house.
gdawginkalamazoo
December 1st, 2009
3:20 pm
SadDawg, your theory would point to Oprah. Ewwww!
Ludicrous
December 1st, 2009
3:24 pm
Jeff, how do you know Dunlap was sober? I am going to give Tiger the benefit of the doubt. We know that Vikings came from Sweden, and they have very bad tempers. Tiger comes home, and his Viking chick is holding the Enquirer in one hand and brandishing a three iron. She chases him around the house for a while. He tries to escape, and she bashes his windows out. He is just lucky she didn’t finish him off when he was laying in the street. I have had this happen to me a dozen times. Women just like to bash windows and deface automobiles. That and throw clothes out the window, which she probably did after she beat him. One of my ex-wives bashed my car, and her lawyer told the judge that she was “very upset”, and that, apparently, is a legal defence. A word of warning to Tiger–once this domestic violence starts, it doesn’t go away. Stay tuned.
AlphaDawg
December 1st, 2009
3:33 pm
Urban Meyer suspends BCS MVP defensive end Carlos Dunlap for the 1st half of practice Tuesday for his DUI arrest Sunday night. Coach Meyers released the following statement to the press “We here at UF take driving under the influence serious and deemed it necessary to suspend Carlos for the 1st half of practice so he can get an IV and get rehydrated and be at full speed the rest of the week.”
cattle dawg
December 1st, 2009
3:34 pm
jeff, could richt just be waiting to see who all gets canned first to see what guys are available? Like tenuta at nd. I also hear that paul johnsons favorite snack is chocolate covered thumb tacks.
Swedish Chef Ted Striker
December 1st, 2009
3:35 pm
Sweedish Models may first go forr zee Nike bolls man but zey stay-a forr zee Sveedeesh Cheff Ted Streeker!
Teeger’s loss iz my-a gain!
Vonce zee Nordegren twinz goes Sweedish Cheff Ted Streeker, zey vwil nevher goez back!!!!
Elin……Josephin…. — I will tep themz temptnz bootiez ovheur and ovheur till they both cry “Bork!!! Bork!!! Bork!!! — just Bork us both twinz sum morz!!!!!”
Bank Walker, Texas Ranger
December 1st, 2009
3:47 pm
Striker! that was too much, LMAO. Next see if they have ever been in a cock pit before.
gdawginkalamazoo
December 1st, 2009
3:55 pm
Tenuta is one of the reasons that Wei$$ got fired. No D at the ND.
Herschel Talker
December 1st, 2009
4:01 pm
Schultzie:
You heard from Yellow Fuzz, RAMBLE ON!!!, Old Gold, m, or Saint Simons since Saturday night? Just checking. Maybe we should put them on the side of a milk carton. Rumor has it that the Nerd Nation is starting to get concerned about their nerd brethren.
NC Braves Fan
December 1st, 2009
4:03 pm
Jeff: cool, I’ll look for that Ugandan check! I seem to have a lot of relatives and friends there.
Bank Walker, Texas Ranger
December 1st, 2009
4:08 pm
Striker, 4 words, hi-la-ri-ous, you might see if they have ever been in a cock pit before
Sonny Clusters
December 1st, 2009
4:10 pm
More on Tiger Woods . . . did that 9-1-1 caller sound like Lurch or Uncle Fester? Who knew the Addams Family was right across the street? Does it seem odd that the family across the street would hire an attorney to deal with the press when they live in a gated community and might be a bit hard to access? Was that really for the press or for the police? We learned to think like this reading Jeff.
The blogger is right . . . now that she knows she can putter Tiger around she’s likely to continue. Tiger will be afraid to go to sleep. He may have to sleep with one eye open. That’s going to make him tired on the golf course. He may react badly now when somebody shouts, ‘fore’.
And, Jason Elam is gone. Finis.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
4:23 pm
Herschel — That’s one thing I like about Georgia fans. They don’t hide. Actually, they might comment even more when they’re angry than happy.
Jeff Schultz
December 1st, 2009
4:26 pm
Cattle Dawg — It is possible Mark wants everything in place (firings and replacements) before he makes an announcement.
cajdawg
December 1st, 2009
4:55 pm
Tiger needs to keep his putter in the bag.
cattle dawg
December 1st, 2009
4:58 pm
Good point Jeff. I keep hearing a couple of big names. What you think about pollack just throwing gas on the fire saturday with is tweet.
Doug Dickey
December 1st, 2009
4:59 pm
Whats the big deal about getting drunk. He has been charged by the authorities and will face charges. So what. Most football players are thugs. whats the big deal. Let him play the game.
Ga boy
December 1st, 2009
5:24 pm
I’m shocked- shocked I tell ya at the DUI arrest in Penalville. That makes 27 arrests in the last 4+ years. Mercy abounds in Gville- errr for players!!
Ga boy
December 1st, 2009
5:26 pm
I’m shocked- shocked I tell ya at the DUI arrest in Penalville. That makes 27 arrests in the last4+ years. Mercy abounds in Gville- that is if you are a player.
Ga boy
December 1st, 2009
5:28 pm
Doug Dickey Awww doug- still have memories of those salad days in Gville?
DamYankee
December 1st, 2009
5:35 pm
One of your best, Jeff. 3 hot chick pics, many hilarious comments and so far no Choke, bigeasy or Vick Supporter! Why someone would name themselves after MV7’s sweaty jock is beyond me.