Predictions: Big win for Tech, big losses for Georgia, PETA
A Massachusetts woman this week posted an ad on Craigslist seeking donations so that she could pay for her turkey’s eye surgery, which one of my professors back in Interpretive Journalism would say almost certainly indicates she doesn’t hold stock in Butterball, there’s no government option for poultry either, and at least one five-star recruit of the lunatic fringe managed to elude PETA.
Hello, and Happy Thanksgiving to all those at the top of the food chain. This would not include Lyndsey Medeiros or her pet turkey Jerry or PETA, which this week issued a news release that began, “Thanksgiving can be the scariest time of the year if you’re a turkey. More than 45 million of these fascinating birds are killed to disgrace Thanksgiving tables each year.”
"I can't see! I can't see!"
Let me just say this: If turkeys had a choice, they’d be blasting our heads off, slapping us fascinating creatures on a platter next to the stuffing and yelling at their TV sets, “Why do I have to watch the Lions again!” That would be except for the one turkey seeking corrective lenses for her pet human, Jerry.
PETA has had a busy week. You probably read that the organization wants Georgia to replace the late Uga VII with an animatronic dog or a costumed mascot, because apparently a real bulldog’s heart just can’t take it. Dudes, have you seen this team? No species can take it. It wasn’t an asteroid that caused the extinction of dinosaurs, it was a Willie Martinez game plan.
It’s about to get worse. The Dogs had a better team last season when Georgia Tech rang up 45 points. Losing to Kentucky doesn’t project improvement. Real research: 26 turnovers have led to 102 opponent points.
Maybe it’s catatacts? No matter. It’ll be a Tech feast. Jackets cover 7.
“Grab a Brew. Don’t cost nothin’”
(Combo meal: add fries and copy of “Winning plays by Charlie Weis,” now in wallet size.)
I figure Auburn has no chance so fans deserve a chuckle. Thanks to Wizard of Odds blogsite.
Alabama at Auburn: Tommy Tuberville lost to Alabama last year after thumping the Tide six straight years, so you can understand the booster pea-brains wanting to dump him because, well, it had been four years since he went undefeated. Strap in Tigers: It’s going to be a long bumpy ride with Nick Saban in Tuscaloosa. Bammy covers 10 1/2.
FSU at Florida: With rumors circulating about the shuttle to South Bend, Urban Meyer told Gator Nation this week, “I’ll stay as long as they’ll have me.” Either that’s a clip-and-save moment for when he does leave or everybody in Athens just said, “Oy.” Florida covers 24 1/2.
Notre Dame at Stanford: The point spread on this game has jumped from 5 1/2 to 10 1/2. That happens only in cases of plague, locusts or Charlie Weis. Is it possible to relish a face plant any more than this? Cardinal covers the number.
Clemson at South Carolina: I know: There’s no stopping C.J. Spiller. I know: South Carolina hasn’t won a game of significance since Mississippi two months ago. But I still see, “Steve Spurrier vs. Dabo Swinney,” and think, “Tilt.” Poultry Payback! Gamecocks in an upset (but take the 3).
Arkansas at LSU: Bobby Petrino has won two straight SEC games. Stop the madness: Tigers cover 3 1/2 vs. Piggies.
Pros and Ex-Cons
Just getting ready in case the Falcons blow this.
Sick Bay at Falcons: The Buccaneers are 1-9, fired their defensive coordinator this week and their offensive coordinator 10 days before the season. If Falcons blow this, they might as well get lost in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble. Injury update: Coach Mike Smith lists everybody from the Hundred Years’ War as day-to-day, keeping within NFL policy. Falcons cover 12.
Patriots at Saints: The Saints (10-0) are trying to do what the Patriots did two years ago — the 16-0 part, not the choke-away-the-Super-Bowl-that-forced-me-to-live-out-of-a-cardboard-box-part. Actual factual: Tom Brady has five straight games over 300 yards. Take the 3, but New England wins this straight up.
Bears at Vikings: Brett Favre was 22 for 25 with four touchdowns last week against Seattle. If you wondered what it would take to make his season even better, the answer was Jim Mora’s defense. Vikes cover 10 1/2.
If football teams were restaurants, this is Buffalo.
Redskins at Eagles: The Skins are still missing running back Clinton Portis, who has a concussion. Portis says he is suffering from blurred vision and has seen six or seven doctors. Or maybe it was three or four. Philly wins but take Washington and 9 1/2.
Dolphins at Bills: Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden and Mike Holmgren have said no, so now Buffalo is pursuing Mike Shanahan. I guess it’s commendable that the Bills want to shoot for the top in their coaching hire. But isn’t this sort of like “Steak ‘n Shake” trying to lure a chef from “Bones?” Dolphins cover 3 on the road.
Accounting Dept.
Last week (we won!): 9-2 straight up, 7-4 against the line.
So far, so feh: 92-40 straight up, 63-68 against the line.
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502 comments Add your comment
Hold That Tiger
November 25th, 2009
10:14 pm
Boogie Man
I’m with ya on the Jackets being upset but I don’t think my Tigers are going down. Sorry, you sound like an SEC homer. Glad your on the GA side of Hartwell.
Go Tigers! Beat USuC!
Solid Gold Dancer
November 25th, 2009
10:17 pm
Watch out for Nesbit and Dwyer. Shake……….and Bake. Shake and Bake.
Hold that Tiger!
November 25th, 2009
10:17 pm
Where you thinking tilt last year on the Old Ball Sac vs. Dabo when Clemson destroyed SCU?
JB
November 25th, 2009
10:17 pm
Hey Tiger, who do you think will have the highest margin of victory – the Jackets or the Tigers this weekend?
Kim Z's Package
November 25th, 2009
10:17 pm
I like the HOMO pi$$ona dawg. He sounds like he wants to see me after the game. I will not tell your wife. I haven’t given up lil joey cox or willie yet. call me peeonthe dog. You might like how I pee on you.
bugsquacher
November 25th, 2009
10:25 pm
Tech your beat down is coming in a few more days. Lets see how many of you chicken $hi… fans show up after the game. Bunch of nerds….
Hold That Tiger
November 25th, 2009
10:25 pm
JB
My guess is that option offense will have the meter spinning, and just as important, it will keep the dog O on the sidelines. So I’m guessing that the yellow jackets will have the biggest margin. Good luck this weekend, I hope you guys have an impressive win. Next week? Of course, different story. but, lets take care of business this week.
Go Tigers! Go ACC!
Hold that Tiger!
November 25th, 2009
10:27 pm
The Jackets probably have the higher margin of victory. I don’t see Clemson blowing out SCU at all, but I think they win by more than a touchdown. GT should put up a lot of points, but I think UGA could score a lot too. GT by 14?
bugsquacher
November 25th, 2009
10:28 pm
I say everyone should pi$$ on anyone with the name Pi$$onadawg.
JB
November 25th, 2009
10:28 pm
Hey boogersquacher, you and booger should get together! LMAO!
I agree Hold That Tiger with your analysis. Thanks for the kudos (until next week of course). BOL with the chickens while we roast some dog. SEC meat is tasty. Oops, PETA is patrolling the blogs.
GO JACKETS!!! GO ACC!!
bugsquacher
November 25th, 2009
10:29 pm
Go Dawgs! Mash the bugs like never before. Send them running for the hood with their tails (stingers) between their legs…..Come ON beat their A$$es
U-no
November 25th, 2009
10:30 pm
Jeff, Time for my picks:
I usually stay away from predicting scores, but on the Tech vs Georgia matchup I can’t resist: Jackets win by a score of 49 to 24. Good game in the first half, Tech pulls away in the second half.
Auburn will make it difficult on Bama, but Bama wins, (But this could be an upset in the making) Florida will blow FSU away. Stanford sends the Irish back to the chapel for more prayer. I think the Razorbacks might pull a W out of the hat against LSU.
Falcons will win, and Turner will play. The Patriots will finally slow the Saints train down and post a digit under the L column in the NO stats. Thor spears a bear with ease. I think the Redskins may sneak up and bite the Eagles in the behind, I am not convinced this Eagle team is all that good. The Fish fry some Buffalo and make jerky on the road.
JB
November 25th, 2009
10:30 pm
Hey Hold That Tigers… are there more than one or is there an echo in here? Either way, I agree with you, er I mean, both of you?
U-no
November 25th, 2009
10:32 pm
Oh, I just have the feeling that South Carolina will post a W against Clemson.
JB
November 25th, 2009
10:32 pm
Hey bugsquacher, better put down the crack pipe dude, it’ll kill those brain cells. I know, I know, you’re probably a UGA student and you don’t need those brain cells to get your degree, but it’s still bad for you. Ok? Good luck in rehab.
Solid Gold Dancer
November 25th, 2009
10:34 pm
Hey bugs watcher, I’m 9-2 in picking the winner of this game since 1998. Only wrong in 2006 and last years prediction. I will be 10-2 Saturday night!
(the former) Hold That Tiger
November 25th, 2009
10:35 pm
JB
Yes, it appears theres more than one of us. But no worries, I will now be TigerRag. Enjoying your cat & mouse with these poor dog fans.
GT Fan
November 25th, 2009
10:37 pm
Mark Richt religion has nothing to do with his coaching ability. He is a very smart,good coach and great example to everyone. He needs to get a new staff and move on with winning the SEC. I believe he can and will improve the TEAM. I pull for UGA when UGA and GT are not playing each other and then I’m Tech all the way. I believe GT and UGA have two of the best Coaches around, we need to let them do their job. I hope we have a great game and no one gets hurt.
PETA sucks..don’t support them.
PETA Police
November 25th, 2009
10:37 pm
bugsquacher .. it’s ones like you that concern me for your own safety. bet you are one of the animals who brings a dog barking girl. GT … control the beating
JB
November 25th, 2009
10:47 pm
No worries TigerRag! Wouldn’t it be great to have the ACC sweep the high falutin’ SEC this weekend? FSU has a lot of work to do but I like Clemson and Tech in our games.
Keep USA #1
November 25th, 2009
10:58 pm
Happy Thanksgiving Jeff and everyone in the State of Georgia .
Dawg Whisperer
November 25th, 2009
11:03 pm
My chihuahuas just can’t get excited about this game. They’ve been sleeping a lot since the passing of Uga. It is their way of showing respect to a fallen hero. Without Uga stalking the sidelines on Saturday, they consider the game pointless. I do too. My inside sources (chi & huahua) have the skinny on UGA’s next defensive coordinator. They say it is about time that we wise up and Get Smart. I agree. We take Bammy’s defensive coordinator, ergo reducing their defense to a mere image of it’s former self and simultaneously transform a bunch of underperforming dawgs to bone chomping canines. It takes a dawg to know a dawg.
JB
November 25th, 2009
11:07 pm
I like it Dawg Whisperer. I think you make some good points and some nice humor also. Kirby could be a great addtion for your program. Too bad CMR has to figure out what to do with CWM to even make that happen. Do you think Martinez is gone?
TigerRag
November 25th, 2009
11:09 pm
JB,
I’m out of here. Have a great evening!
Go Tigers! Go Jackets! Go Seminoles! Go ACC!
JB
November 25th, 2009
11:12 pm
TigerRag – Happy Thanksgiving to you also!
Mark Richt as Ricardo Montalban
November 25th, 2009
11:14 pm
When I pray, I like everyone to know about it. As a matter of fact, when I visit a recruit, I make sure to rub off, er, I mean rub, his Jesus statue so that he knows how much I like the Gods. In fact, I don’t want anyone on my team who doesn’t pretend to be christian. All my boys had God issued drivers licenses before the season, I checked em personally, so I’m really confused as to why they keep getting arrested for not having one.
Tokyo jacket
November 25th, 2009
11:18 pm
To anyone who says “GT nerds hide behind their computers,” I’ll be at the game. I’ll be the 6′9″ 250 lb guy with a goatee. Feel free to come talk $hit.
And, to anyone who says GT fans don’t support their team, let it be known that I flew 14 hours from Tokyo for this game (and turkey with the fam). By the way, I felt like it really defined our academic rivalry when I took my comfy seat in business class with my 15″ TV and champagne already in hand when a kid with a UGA hat walked by my on his way to the cattle car in the VERY back. Too funny!
TJ Vol
November 25th, 2009
11:21 pm
GA fans…you are so dumb….if you get killed by GT then Richt has no choice but to change his staff….oh what am I saying…Go Bulldogs, keep Bobo and Martinez, they are great!!!!!….45-19
TJ Vol
November 25th, 2009
11:23 pm
GA did not even cross the 30 yard line against UT with Fulmer’s players…..Bobo v Kiff Sr. for the next 10 years….lol…45-19
Dawg Whisperer
November 25th, 2009
11:28 pm
JB – When Kirby Smart and Will Muschamp roamed the secondary for UGA, they played with a lot of football sense. They have both demonstrated that same ablity as coaches on the collegiate level. It would certainly excite the fan base at UGA to bring Kirby on as the D coordinator. I would keep Martinez as secondary coach. To me, UGA football heritage is defense and in the SEC, no defense spells l-o-s-e-r. I will say this appears to be Tech’s year. When I was a kid, my Dad would take me to watch Tech. By the time I entered H.S., I realized my future did not include Calculus, so I went to UGA. I’m one of those few dawg fans that pulls for both schools. Hey, it’s a free country (for now).
Tokyo jacket
November 25th, 2009
11:31 pm
IM ALSO A LIAR!
TJ Vol
November 25th, 2009
11:41 pm
Discipline issues and being too loyal to upperclassman and his staff is what brought down Fulmer and Richt is following the same path. Bobo and Martinez and not going to beat FL, TN, AL any time soon. LSU you can simply because they have a bad staff and head coach too. LSU has Top 5 talent but play like 25 talent. GA, same thing top 15 talent but play like the 6-6 team you will be Sat Night. A simple question GA fans….why is Cox starting when you have Murray on campus? We in TN asked Fulmer, why was Arian Foster starting over Hardesty? Sorry GA fans, BS aside, I’ve seen my program go through what Richt is starting to do now…..if he continues down this path, you guess will be right where UT was last year real soon…..jokes aside….good luck….
Rick
November 25th, 2009
11:50 pm
Extremely entertaining stuff written by a very talented writer.
I agree with the predicts but the Bears will give the Vikings a tough game.
God, i hope the Falcons have a great game. They need a boost right about now.
Tokyo jacket
November 25th, 2009
11:51 pm
sure I am dude, sure I am
david
November 25th, 2009
11:59 pm
one good year and youre world beaters–f off piss ant
Reid Adair
November 26th, 2009
12:04 am
That parody picture of Nick Saban is so funny I couldn’t read any of the predictions.
Happy Thanksgiving, Jeff.
david
November 26th, 2009
12:07 am
stay in tokyo –im 6′10″ 260 with a bald head–be in section 210 with a GEORGIA shirt on jackass.
reck style
November 26th, 2009
12:09 am
here we go with Joe Cox stats, I mean just 3 days ago, you dogpooping inbreds were calling him a no good s o b from the pit of hell..geez ….
I like big hair
November 26th, 2009
12:10 am
Jeff, you should have posted an Alabama truck stop waitress and the cousin she is married to
legs for days girl
November 26th, 2009
12:13 am
tokyo jacket, 6 9″ 250 lbs, damn sounds nice, are you single and going to be in Tampa too? lol
acc sweeps all 3 games
November 26th, 2009
12:33 am
as i see it.
all 3 acc teams are improving. usce is having its yearly plummet to the bottom of the conference. uga sucks this year and fla hasnt got any better since the beginning of the season.
clemson has better talent than usce on both sides of the ball. end of story.the old ball sack aint the coach he used to be either.
fsu has shown they have great talent. look no further than their early top 10 ranking and a win at byu as proof that fsu CAN compete with the big boys with the talent they have. the good fsu team just needs to show up.
add in the gold watch speaches and the motivation to keep the bowl streak alive and you have a highly motivated fsu team.
meanwhile uf can still go to the mnc title game with a win over bama so this game is for state bragging rights ONLY.
a flat uf team vs a motivated talented fsu team spells upset in my book.
acc 3 sec/espn 0
i have to ask btw…. the guy in the truck? which team is he a fan of. he looks like he could be a dog or a tiger or a tide (what ever the f that is ) fan. now that is funny.
hey booger man from hartwell....
November 26th, 2009
12:50 am
why did it take so long for folks to pick up your REAL first name….. until i posted yur real first name the other day everybody was calling you boogie.
we all know and understand now that your proper first name is really booger.
booger. lmao. wonder if they have ugay fans with names like flemdawg or hockerdawg or loogiedawg?
who in their right mind would even read a post from a guy named ‘booger’ let alone agree or disagree with him.
i find boogers disgusting. than again i find all dog fans disgusting…. like that ugay guy next to his truck. ewhhhhhh.
is that YOU boogerdawg from hartwell? ewhhhhhhhhhhh
UGALIES will not be THE PRESEASON #1 NEXT YEAR
November 26th, 2009
12:53 am
also—-When are you mutts going to understand that you STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE is NOT AS STRONG AS TECH’S—-IT IS A FACT IDIOTS—JUST LIKE THE POUNDING YOU WILL TAKE IN ABOUT 72 HOURS————–GO EAT SOME CAN FOOD FIRE HYDRANT DWELLERS.
EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY——–TO DIE———FOR ALL THE LIVING ONES —-IT WILL FEEL LIKE HELL 75 HOURS FROM RIGHT NOW
JB
November 26th, 2009
12:56 am
Dawg Whisperer
Nice to hear from a civilized Dawg fan. I agree with your posts about Kirby Smart – great DC. He also has a lot of roots in Athens and it would be a celebrated return. However, I suspect that Smart would return as the HC before he would make a lateral move from a soaring Alabama program. I’m sure his heart is with the Dawg program but it would be hard to move away from the euphoria and success of being at the top (or nearly so).
The Dawgs have had a great recent history and will no doubt rebound with the talent that you can recruit. I do think that Tech will be much more competitive in the future and I think that’s good for both programs. Good luck to you and the Dawgs (except this weekend of course).
RIP UGA VII
Ken Greene
November 26th, 2009
1:00 am
If it is brown its down. Deer or Turkey!!!!!
richard cranium
November 26th, 2009
1:01 am
GT will have a better team next year and even better the year after that……
Chew on that for dessert tomorrow leghumpers….
Heath
November 26th, 2009
4:10 am
Hey Scrotium, I wouldn’t count on it when CPJ gets an offer from a real school and leaves your high school stadium.
Old Gator
November 26th, 2009
4:18 am
The only way Ga has of saving anything positive to talk about from the 2009 season is to upset the Jackets. Close game with turnovers deciding. Coach R could upset everything by using new color helmets. In that case the Jackets by plenty.
Zeb
November 26th, 2009
5:01 am
Schultzie, I gotta tell ya, normally I don’t agree with everything you write, but you always bring a very articulate and sarcastically thought out piece of journalism. I like that. I happen to think you’re right on with your assessment. Some bloggers might think you pontificate…..some may think you’re pedantic……I think you’re somewhat self absorbed………..but WTF??…..who isn’t?? You’ve got a job at the AJC and a lot of idots on here just got home from the late shift at the Waffle House..(not knocking WH..I love their food)…but the point is….you take a lot of crap from UGA fans and I just have to say to them……GET THE FCK OVER IT!!! I’m as big a UGA supporter as they come, and this year has been abysmal…….but come on guys…..in 100 years…..is all this really gonna matter to you??? I think not.
Shane, Kali, Cuz…..sorry for the ranting……I hope you guys have a great Thanksgiving.
Zeb
November 26th, 2009
5:32 am
But Jeff(yeah, I know I shouldn’t start a sentence with a preposition)……please cut us UGA faithful some slack……we are are people from various walks with a common preconceived notion……we think our DAWGS should win every game……just like Florida, Alabama, and Notre Dame(wouldn’t want to be on that board of regents)………A lot of us only know the SEC(Ok….so what)……some of us choose to diverse our sport portfolio to include the NFL, NBA, NHL, ACC, PAC10, BIG10, MAC, Golf(hell yeah)…etc…. but whatever the sport….or hobby…..or movie you like……damit…..support it! Stop giving a dam what everyone else thinks about your position on things……if you’re a fan……stay an effing fan no matter what….ok I’m done……