Predictions: Big win for Tech, big losses for Georgia, PETA
A Massachusetts woman this week posted an ad on Craigslist seeking donations so that she could pay for her turkey’s eye surgery, which one of my professors back in Interpretive Journalism would say almost certainly indicates she doesn’t hold stock in Butterball, there’s no government option for poultry either, and at least one five-star recruit of the lunatic fringe managed to elude PETA.
Hello, and Happy Thanksgiving to all those at the top of the food chain. This would not include Lyndsey Medeiros or her pet turkey Jerry or PETA, which this week issued a news release that began, “Thanksgiving can be the scariest time of the year if you’re a turkey. More than 45 million of these fascinating birds are killed to disgrace Thanksgiving tables each year.”
"I can't see! I can't see!"
Let me just say this: If turkeys had a choice, they’d be blasting our heads off, slapping us fascinating creatures on a platter next to the stuffing and yelling at their TV sets, “Why do I have to watch the Lions again!” That would be except for the one turkey seeking corrective lenses for her pet human, Jerry.
PETA has had a busy week. You probably read that the organization wants Georgia to replace the late Uga VII with an animatronic dog or a costumed mascot, because apparently a real bulldog’s heart just can’t take it. Dudes, have you seen this team? No species can take it. It wasn’t an asteroid that caused the extinction of dinosaurs, it was a Willie Martinez game plan.
It’s about to get worse. The Dogs had a better team last season when Georgia Tech rang up 45 points. Losing to Kentucky doesn’t project improvement. Real research: 26 turnovers have led to 102 opponent points.
Maybe it’s catatacts? No matter. It’ll be a Tech feast. Jackets cover 7.
“Grab a Brew. Don’t cost nothin’”
(Combo meal: add fries and copy of “Winning plays by Charlie Weis,” now in wallet size.)
I figure Auburn has no chance so fans deserve a chuckle. Thanks to Wizard of Odds blogsite.
Alabama at Auburn: Tommy Tuberville lost to Alabama last year after thumping the Tide six straight years, so you can understand the booster pea-brains wanting to dump him because, well, it had been four years since he went undefeated. Strap in Tigers: It’s going to be a long bumpy ride with Nick Saban in Tuscaloosa. Bammy covers 10 1/2.
FSU at Florida: With rumors circulating about the shuttle to South Bend, Urban Meyer told Gator Nation this week, “I’ll stay as long as they’ll have me.” Either that’s a clip-and-save moment for when he does leave or everybody in Athens just said, “Oy.” Florida covers 24 1/2.
Notre Dame at Stanford: The point spread on this game has jumped from 5 1/2 to 10 1/2. That happens only in cases of plague, locusts or Charlie Weis. Is it possible to relish a face plant any more than this? Cardinal covers the number.
Clemson at South Carolina: I know: There’s no stopping C.J. Spiller. I know: South Carolina hasn’t won a game of significance since Mississippi two months ago. But I still see, “Steve Spurrier vs. Dabo Swinney,” and think, “Tilt.” Poultry Payback! Gamecocks in an upset (but take the 3).
Arkansas at LSU: Bobby Petrino has won two straight SEC games. Stop the madness: Tigers cover 3 1/2 vs. Piggies.
Pros and Ex-Cons
Just getting ready in case the Falcons blow this.
Sick Bay at Falcons: The Buccaneers are 1-9, fired their defensive coordinator this week and their offensive coordinator 10 days before the season. If Falcons blow this, they might as well get lost in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble. Injury update: Coach Mike Smith lists everybody from the Hundred Years’ War as day-to-day, keeping within NFL policy. Falcons cover 12.
Patriots at Saints: The Saints (10-0) are trying to do what the Patriots did two years ago — the 16-0 part, not the choke-away-the-Super-Bowl-that-forced-me-to-live-out-of-a-cardboard-box-part. Actual factual: Tom Brady has five straight games over 300 yards. Take the 3, but New England wins this straight up.
Bears at Vikings: Brett Favre was 22 for 25 with four touchdowns last week against Seattle. If you wondered what it would take to make his season even better, the answer was Jim Mora’s defense. Vikes cover 10 1/2.
If football teams were restaurants, this is Buffalo.
Redskins at Eagles: The Skins are still missing running back Clinton Portis, who has a concussion. Portis says he is suffering from blurred vision and has seen six or seven doctors. Or maybe it was three or four. Philly wins but take Washington and 9 1/2.
Dolphins at Bills: Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden and Mike Holmgren have said no, so now Buffalo is pursuing Mike Shanahan. I guess it’s commendable that the Bills want to shoot for the top in their coaching hire. But isn’t this sort of like “Steak ‘n Shake” trying to lure a chef from “Bones?” Dolphins cover 3 on the road.
Accounting Dept.
Last week (we won!): 9-2 straight up, 7-4 against the line.
So far, so feh: 92-40 straight up, 63-68 against the line.
WHATEVER YOU’RE THINKING, I SAW THAT COMING. JUST CLICK HERE FOR PROOF
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502 comments Add your comment
Jeff Schultz
November 27th, 2009
4:39 pm
Sonny — Saw that story. Pretty interesting. With the Uga VII estate file malpractice suit?
Jeff Schultz
November 27th, 2009
4:40 pm
DawgFan24 — I’ve never changed.
Jeff Schultz
November 27th, 2009
4:40 pm
Thanks Hillbilly. Almost went with, “Bring out your dead.”
olddawg
November 27th, 2009
4:40 pm
To all the fans both Gt and UGA ,GROW UP! Its a football game not life or death and if you feel that way then you have a seriuos problem.
Jeff Schultz
November 27th, 2009
4:55 pm
P-on-Dawg — Not my dept, sorry.
Jeff Schultz
November 27th, 2009
4:57 pm
U-no — you’re on the record.
Jeff Schultz
November 27th, 2009
4:59 pm
Reid — Thanks, mission accomplished.
Jeff Schultz
November 27th, 2009
5:01 pm
Zeb — Thanks. I think I’d like to work at the Waffle House one day. Good material for a book, if nothing else.
Jeff Schultz
November 27th, 2009
5:03 pm
Dap01 — You’re not including byes.
BOOGIES THE MAN FROM HARTWELL GA
November 27th, 2009
6:33 pm
AUBURN GAVE BAMA ALL IT WANTED…………DAWGS GATA
BOOGIES THE MAN FROM HARTWELL GA
November 27th, 2009
7:05 pm
SEE YALL TOMORROW= GOTTA GO
U-no
November 27th, 2009
8:03 pm
Well, I pegged the Auburn-Alabama game exactly as it went. Auburn made a game of it, and Bama pulled out a W at the end. I am on a roll.
49-24 Tech Saturday night!
No matter what happens tomorrow...
November 27th, 2009
8:34 pm
Once a nerd always a nerd. It’s nice to know that this is the super bowl for the nerds every year and an after thought for UGA.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3njjD41f48
TECH #1 FAN
November 27th, 2009
8:38 pm
Here’s what I’m doing tonight!!!! LIFE IS GOOD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmRSuYIL1zc
Marya
November 27th, 2009
8:47 pm
Tech will gut the mangy, fleabitten dogs from head to tail, with no mercy shown. The UGAy felons and idiots will never know what hit them.
It will be sooooooooooooo much fun to watch.
Marya
November 27th, 2009
8:49 pm
” It’s nice to know that this is the super bowl for the nerds every year and an after thought for UGA.”
Just an afterthought? Bullsh*t, UGA fans will be sick to their stomachs for months after the beatdown.
Tech 52, UGA 24.
PETA Mascot
November 27th, 2009
9:40 pm
Tech will probably win another shoot out, but PETA’s right about the mascot. UGA needs to change. For one thing, the English Bulldog is a genetic mess, and while that does represent a good deal of Bulldawg nation, it’s not fair to the animal. Second, the insistence upon an all-white Bulldog sends a message more in tune with 1949 than 2009. So if UGA insists upon remaining bulldogs, they should adopt a healthier breed, like the American Bulldog or the Olde English Bulldogge and drop the not so subtle racist symbolism.
Neutral
November 27th, 2009
9:45 pm
“It’s nice to know that this is the super bowl for the nerds every year and an after thought for UGA.”
UGA’s not playing well enough for anyone to be an afterthought. Maybe that lack of concentration explains why they’ve been playing so poorly.
chuck
November 27th, 2009
10:35 pm
Nerds 54-Dawgs 30 Cox is good for at least 7 points for Tech, and special teams turnovers will be worth at least 7 more. Bozo’s offensive offense will hit some big plays, but Willie’s D will show up and watch Dwyer & Co from behind all night long. Rumors say Willie resigns Sunday (about 12 games too late for me). Hopefully Bozo will follow suit and jet, too. This one will hurt because it signifies a serious change in this rivalry. Tech is strong, and with Paul Johnson in place for the time being, getting stronger. This is a crossroads for Richt and the UGA program. After this whipping tomorrow, there had better be some long, hard looks at how UGA fell so far so fast or a whipping Thanksgiving weekend will become a recurring nightmare. Don’t think so? Look at the Georgia-Florida series stats pre-Spurrier. That “rivalry” has become an annual showcase of the disparity between GA/FLA, and it is nationally televised to make it even more painful. The Tech series can and will get just this ugly if Richt fails to act.
Tron5000
November 28th, 2009
4:01 am
Florida by 24.5? I think not.
Yellow Fuzz
November 28th, 2009
6:41 am
To borrow a phrase from former coach Pat Dye-
GEORGIA IS NOT MAN ENOUGH to beat Georgia Tech this year.
and
THE DOG NATION FANS are not man enough to sit through an entire azz whoopin.
Please use the trash receptacles that we have provided for you and support your team until the final buzzer. And STFU when walking back to your truck!
BOOGIES THE MAN FROM HARTWELL GA
November 28th, 2009
7:50 am
ITS 7:48 AM………………. YELLOW FUZZ NEEDS TO MAKE HER WAY TO HER MARTA BUS ON MORELAND AVE. NOW……………. THE VARSITY NEEDS THOSE ONIONS CUT TO FEED THE HUNGRY DAWG FANS TONIGHT……….. ON THE WAY TO THE POTTY TONIGHT, YOU CAN CATCH THE FINAL SCORE GEORGIA 35— TICK 3………. TV SETS ALL OVER THE RESTAURANT……………….
D- Day Dawg
November 28th, 2009
8:21 am
Jeff,time to wake up and chage the subject. Tell em how to react and cope if,excuse me when the Dawgs kick it tonight.Oh hell yes expect it.
HoCoJo
November 28th, 2009
9:08 am
Headline for Sunday’s PETA Times: Lost dogs find their way home to Athens after wandering around aimlessly for hours near 10th Street.
Yellow Fuzz
November 28th, 2009
9:21 am
BoogerMan in Hartwell,
How sweet it is to see the entire dog nation jealous, envious and downright disrespectful to Georgia Tech. And before you try to make yourself feel better this morning by referencing your Hershal Walker history book remember this ain’t your daddy’s and grandaddy’s Georgia Tech football program you are talking about here. This is 2009 dude and we are still pissed off at you. WE don’t want to just beat Georgia tonight, we want to hang-half-a-hundred on your hairy, fugly azz and then listen to you blame it on someone else!
The dog nation (that have not already left the stadium, trashed its own campus or personally emailed the president and AD in protest-LOL) seriously needs to think about STFU in public and start smack talking Tennessee Tech and/or Vandy on blogs in private.
Stop bothering teams that are playing in THEIR Conference Championship games. THREE of which also kicked your azzes last year (31-0, 49-3 and 45-42!
You are a gymnastics and equestrian school and the sooner you learn the rules for these T-9 sports, the sooner your universe will get back in order Papa John!
dagnabit
November 28th, 2009
9:40 am
Let’s see if we can cut down on the negative comments about trucks.
Fuzzy
November 28th, 2009
9:55 am
Yeah 8 in the box is a wonderful defensive strategy. I hope Willie plays it all night long! Tech hasn’t scored in the triple digits since the years 1914 and 1916 when John Heisman was coaching. (Yep, they did it twice!) We might see that again if Willie goes with the eight in the box defense.
Yellow Fuzz
November 28th, 2009
10:08 am
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.5 straight days!
Bobo calls a great game....Georgia wins
November 28th, 2009
11:11 am
Last year, Moreno was averaging 5.5 ypc, when Bobo starting passing the ball. The result was that Georgia only got 5 minute of possession in the 3rd and 4th qrtrts. Last year, Bobo threw the ball 65% against Tech. 2 turnovers.
Note:
When a guy is averaging 5.5 ypc, and you’re playing a team who RUNS THE BALL 84% of the time, RUN THE BALL.
11 in the box
November 28th, 2009
11:12 am
8 in the box? put all 11, they can’t throw.
Hang Half a Hundred
November 28th, 2009
11:12 am
High School Offense Hangs Half A Hundred On Hairy Dogs In Hotlanta.
11 in the box
November 28th, 2009
11:14 am
Tech can’t throw, they can’t hit the side of a barn when they pass, dare them to beat you with the pass, like Miami did. It worked.
11 in the box.
BOOGIES THE MAN FROM HARTWELL GA
November 28th, 2009
11:21 am
ITS MR. BOOGIES THE MAN TO YOU ======== ONION PEELER========= LIKE I SAID ,GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN, FLOSSIE THINKS YOU QUIT…………….
Vote against Georgia Basher Dude
November 28th, 2009
11:39 am
Gerogia Basher Dude spends all day coming up with 1 liners against Georgia.
Guys and gals, let’s all go now and vote AGAINST his anti-Georgia 1 liners, hit the button with the triangle point at the bottom:
http://projects.ajc.com/vent/sports/uga/2009/11/27/
SAV Dawg
November 28th, 2009
11:42 am
Who has had the dominate program in history?
DAWGS ! 59-37-5.
You tech fans are idiots
THWGT
SAV Dawg
November 28th, 2009
11:44 am
UPDATE – Who has had the dominate program in history?
DAWGS ! 59-37-5.
You tech fans are idiots
THWGT
SAV Dawg
November 28th, 2009
11:44 am
ONCE AGAIN !
Who has had the dominate program in history?
DAWGS ! 59-37-5.
You tech fans are idiots
THWGT
SAV Dawg
November 28th, 2009
11:45 am
READ MY LIPS !
Who has had the dominate program in history?
DAWGS ! 59-37-5.
You tech fans are idiots
THWGT
SAV Dawg
November 28th, 2009
11:45 am
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW !
Who has had the dominate program in history?
DAWGS ! 59-37-5.
You tech fans are idiots
THWGT
BOOGIES THE MAN FROM HARTWELL GA
November 28th, 2009
11:50 am
I SECOND SAV DAWG————– THEY CANT COME UP WITH RESPONSE …………..THWGT………….HATS
Fuzzy
November 28th, 2009
11:52 am
Keep on thinking that way 11 in the box! It may be true that Tech is only ranked 116th in passing offense, but they haven’t needed to pass when they are ranked 2nd in the nation in rushing offense. But, when they pass they are ranked 4th in the nation in passing efficiency and are ranked 5th in the nation for fewest interceptions thrown. For total offense Tech is ranked 12th in the nation and 11th in the nation in scoring offense.
I don’t think Willie will have an answer that will stop Tech’s offense. UGA’s defense will get worn down having to defend against the number 1 team in the nation for time of possession.
Fuzzy
November 28th, 2009
11:54 am
Sav Dawg, you got a scratch on that record and its skipping. Time for a new record.
BOOGIES THE MAN FROM HARTWELL GA
November 28th, 2009
12:00 pm
TIME TO GO============= CLEMSON COMING ON=========== YOU NERDS NEED TO WATCH DABO KICK SPURRIER AGAIN ( LOVING IT ) .
Doyle Hargraves
November 28th, 2009
12:00 pm
The Dawgs unfortunately will get their a$$e$ handed to them today. Falcons will win tomorrow but will give up lots of points courtesy of their inept secondary. If Owens plays he will bring back the spectre of Charles Dimry on Jerry Rice. I hope I’m wrong but I doubt it.
Football aside, I’d like to comment on the Tiger Woods beating yesterday. Apparently Swedish models are feisty, and I predice that when the smoke clears, it will be revealed that this woman BEAT him with his own damn golf club. Not just his car, but his face and body. He was trying to get the hayell away from her and she was chasing him with his golf club. Breaking the rear window to save her husband – MY A$$!!! She was pi$$ed and doing something that, if a man had done it to a woman, he would be in jail. If I am right, does this qualify as a hate crime? Something to ponder.
LLYoungFF
Fuzzy
November 28th, 2009
12:05 pm
Let’s see, UGA leads the nation in highest number of penalties per game, greatest amount of penalty yards per game and is worst in the nation on turnover ratio, kickoff return yard defense, and ranked near the bottom on number of interceptions thrown. The Pups are in the bottom 100 in Red Zone Defense and 1st down offense. Ranked 106 in turnovers lost and 120 on fumbles recovered and fumbles gained.
If yall can hang onto the ball and keep from committing penalties, it will be a much closer game tonight.
Yellow Fuzz
November 28th, 2009
1:16 pm
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
georgia = Tech’s bitch for 364.75 straight days!
U-no
November 28th, 2009
3:15 pm
I had predicted that SC would beat Clemson… just had that feeling!
pb
November 28th, 2009
4:15 pm
It will be sad for guys like “Yellow Fuzz” if Georgia somehow wins- it will destroy their little world.I know it is fun to stir up the “enemy”, but Yellow Fuzz goes a little too far. Hope UGA does win and he keeps his word not to be on this site any more.
BOOGIES THE MAN FROM HARTWELL GA
November 28th, 2009
5:14 pm
WRONG ABOUT CLEMSON TODAY—— I STILL THINK THEY WILL BEAT tech. GO DAWGS !!!!!!!!!
SE GA LADY
November 28th, 2009
11:38 pm
OMG!!!!! I HAVE WAITED AN ENTIRE YEAR TO DO THIS TO THE BLOGGER NAMED “SAINT SIMONS,” WHERE I ACTUALLY HAVE LIVED FOR 13 YEARS. (WONDER IF HE REALLY LIVES HERE OR JUST LIVED HERE A FEW YEARS IN THE PAST.)
HERE I GO……..I CAN HARDLY STAND IT……………..
UGA 30 – GA TECH 24 HA, HA, HA, HA, HA …………………………………………………………….
GET A LIFE THIS YEAR, YOU “SAINT SIMONS” BLOGGER!