Predictions: Big win for Tech, big losses for Georgia, PETA

week13

A Massachusetts woman this week posted an ad on Craigslist seeking donations so that she could pay for her turkey’s eye surgery, which one of my professors back in Interpretive Journalism would say almost certainly indicates she doesn’t hold stock in Butterball, there’s no government option for poultry either, and at least one five-star recruit of the lunatic fringe managed to elude PETA.

Hello, and Happy Thanksgiving to all those at the top of the food chain. This would not include Lyndsey Medeiros or her pet turkey Jerry or PETA, which this week issued a news release that began, “Thanksgiving can be the scariest time of the year if you’re a turkey. More than 45 million of these fascinating birds are killed to disgrace Thanksgiving tables each year.”

"I can't see! I can't see!"

"I can't see! I can't see!"

Let me just say this: If turkeys had a choice, they’d be blasting our heads off, slapping us fascinating creatures on a platter next to the stuffing and yelling at their TV sets, “Why do I have to watch the Lions again!” That would be except for the one turkey seeking corrective lenses for her pet human, Jerry.

PETA has had a busy week. You probably read that the organization wants Georgia to replace the late Uga VII with an animatronic dog or a costumed mascot, because apparently a real bulldog’s heart just can’t take it. Dudes,  have you seen this team? No species can take it. It wasn’t an asteroid that caused the extinction of dinosaurs, it was a Willie Martinez game plan.

It’s about to get worse. The Dogs had a better team last season when Georgia Tech rang up 45 points. Losing to Kentucky doesn’t project improvement.  Real research: 26 turnovers have led to 102 opponent points.

Maybe it’s catatacts? No matter. It’ll be a Tech feast. Jackets cover 7.

“Grab a Brew. Don’t cost nothin’”

(Combo meal: add fries and copy of “Winning plays by Charlie Weis,” now in wallet size.)

I figure Auburn has no chance so they deserve a chuckle now. This is courtesy of the Wizard of Odds blogsite.

I figure Auburn has no chance so fans deserve a chuckle. Thanks to Wizard of Odds blogsite.

Alabama at Auburn: Tommy Tuberville lost to Alabama last year after thumping the Tide six straight years, so you can understand the booster pea-brains wanting to dump him because, well, it had been four years since he went undefeated. Strap in Tigers: It’s going to be a long bumpy ride with Nick Saban  in Tuscaloosa. Bammy covers 10 1/2.

FSU at Florida: With rumors circulating about the shuttle to South Bend, Urban Meyer told Gator Nation this week, “I’ll stay as long as they’ll have me.” Either that’s a clip-and-save moment for when he does leave or everybody in Athens just said, “Oy.” Florida covers 24 1/2.

Notre Dame at Stanford: The point spread on this game has jumped from 5 1/2 to 10 1/2. That happens only in cases of plague, locusts or Charlie Weis. Is it possible to relish a face plant any more than this? Cardinal covers the number.

Clemson at South Carolina: I know: There’s no stopping C.J. Spiller. I know: South Carolina hasn’t won a game of significance since Mississippi two months ago. But I still see, “Steve Spurrier vs. Dabo Swinney,” and think, “Tilt.” Poultry Payback! Gamecocks in an upset (but take the 3).

Arkansas at LSU: Bobby Petrino has won two straight SEC games. Stop the madness: Tigers cover 3 1/2 vs. Piggies.

Pros and Ex-Cons

Just getting ready in case the Falcons lose this game.

Just getting ready in case the Falcons blow this.

Sick Bay at Falcons: The Buccaneers are 1-9, fired their defensive coordinator this week and their offensive coordinator 10 days before the season. If  Falcons blow this, they might as well get lost in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble. Injury update: Coach Mike Smith lists everybody from the Hundred Years’ War as day-to-day, keeping within NFL policy. Falcons cover 12.

Patriots at Saints: The Saints (10-0) are trying to do what the Patriots did two years ago — the 16-0 part, not the choke-away-the-Super-Bowl-that-forced-me-to-live-out-of-a-cardboard-box-part. Actual factual: Tom Brady has five straight games over 300 yards. Take the 3, but New England wins this straight up.

Bears at Vikings: Brett Favre was 22 for 25 with four touchdowns last week against Seattle. If you wondered what it would take to make his season even better, the answer was Jim Mora’s defense. Vikes cover 10 1/2.

If football teams were restaurants, the Bills are a dump with an empty parking lot.

If football teams were restaurants, this is Buffalo.

Redskins at Eagles: The Skins are still missing running back Clinton Portis, who has a concussion. Portis says he is suffering from blurred vision and has seen six or seven doctors. Or maybe it was three or four.  Philly wins but take Washington and 9 1/2.

Dolphins at Bills: Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden and Mike Holmgren have said no, so now Buffalo is pursuing Mike Shanahan. I guess it’s commendable that the Bills want to shoot for the top in their coaching hire. But isn’t this sort of like “Steak ‘n Shake” trying to lure a chef from “Bones?” Dolphins cover 3 on the road.

fbgamble

Accounting Dept.

Last week (we won!):  9-2 straight up, 7-4 against the line.

So far, so feh: 92-40 straight up, 63-68 against the line.

WHATEVER YOU’RE THINKING, I SAW THAT COMING. JUST CLICK HERE FOR PROOF

502 comments Add your comment

dougmo2

November 25th, 2009
5:02 pm

dougmo2

November 25th, 2009
5:03 pm

45-42, beat you to it St. Simons

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
5:05 pm

27th with a bullett

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
5:06 pm

Well, I came in 3rd. I feel good about just being considered for this award.

Paul in RDU

November 25th, 2009
5:09 pm

Jeff – Excellent blog – humorous as ever.

BTW – Does PETA realize that UGA does have a guy in a dog suit on the sidelines (and I don’t mean Willie)?

falcon 71

November 25th, 2009
5:11 pm

I have eaten there and its not bad. order the scrapple

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
5:26 pm

Tech covers easy. I would give Joe Cox & Bobo +7 then add +7 to Willie just because his D needs it. Bama way too much for Gene and the Eagle/Tigers, Bama covers. Gators don’t have a chance in Heaven even with Tebo to cover that spread. Gators do win by 9. Stanford wins but will not cover ND trys to play football for 3 qtrs. I too go with the Gamecocks to win. Dabo ain’t that smart. Spiller has been beat up and is stopping on some of his plays. He is still great and an 70-80% stiller is better than most, but Clemson goes down 2 weeks in a row. LSU will cover easy. PRO who cares.

"Chef" Tim Dix

November 25th, 2009
5:31 pm

I clicked there and saw the same thing.

Still, I’m thankful for Jeff’s chick pix of the past.

Nick

November 25th, 2009
5:38 pm

Funny you make fun of Buffalo. The fans have more passion than Atlanta ever dreamed of.

WilliamG

November 25th, 2009
5:42 pm

Arkansas takes LSU big time.

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
5:43 pm

Tech covers easy. I would give Joe and Bobo 7 and then 7 just for Willie’s D. Bama covers easy too. Gators no way they cover that number. Gators win. Stanford will win but they don’t cover. ND plays football for 3 qtrs. Clemson does lose. Clemson loses 2 in a row. Spiller has been pulling up on some of his runs for the last 2 games and he is beat up. I know a 70-80% spiller is better than most but not this time. LSU rolls by 9 and Arkiesaw still scores 28. Pro Football? Who cares until College Football is over.

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
5:46 pm

NICK what is there to do in Buffalo but pro football and fat chicks?

Jeff

November 25th, 2009
5:48 pm

Shootout coming in the UGA GT game. GTs D depends on sacking the QB. UGA actually protects pretty well. UGA can’t stop anyone. It looks like another 45-42 game. The winner will be the team with 0 turnovers. Probably not UGA. I think 7 is too many points though.

cltgtfan

November 25th, 2009
5:49 pm

Please someone stop the madness! All AJC collumnists picking Tech to beat UGA. Don’t get caught in the hype and lay an egg Jackets! It is time to quit listening to the talking heads and turn some heads as you run by the struggling Ugag D. Prediction: GT in a close one, Hope: GT kicks the crap out of the dogs!

Cuttysark

November 25th, 2009
5:50 pm

Nice picks Jeff. The dawg fans will be here blasting you shortly, but Tech covers in their game. The interesting game will be the gamecocks against Clemson. I’m feeling Spurrier pulling this one out with his strong defense. As big a rivalry as that game is, I actually see Clemson looking ahead to Georgia Tech, which is something they can’t do.

Go to http://isportsweb.com for an article on Paul Johnson as he gets the Yellow Jackets ready for some clean old fashioned hate against UGA on Saturday, THWG!

[...] Original post: Predictions: Big win for Tech, big losses for Georgia, PETA | Jeff … [...]

Blaine Childs

November 25th, 2009
5:51 pm

Tech 52, UGA 17. B-i-g beatdown coming. Then bye bye for Mark Richt.

Brandon

November 25th, 2009
5:53 pm

The Dawgs will learn what hobnail boots feel like this week.

Georgia Tech 49
Georgia 13

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
5:54 pm

GT 35 UGA 17 on the field. UGA 59 GT 4 in Fulton County Jail on Rice Street. Dawgs don’t get S-Faced and show your butt. APD will take your butt to jail not just tell you to go home. Atlanta needs all the money it can get.

Cuttysark

November 25th, 2009
5:54 pm

Nice picks Jeff. The dawg fans will be here blasting you shortly, but Tech covers in their game. The interesting game will be the gamecocks against Clemson. I’m feeling Spurrier pulling this one out with his strong defense. As big a rivalry as that game is, I actually see Clemson looking ahead to Georgia Tech, which is something they can’t do.

Go to http://isportsweb.com for a piece on Paul Johnson as he gets the Yellow Jackets ready for some clean old fashioned hate against UGA on Saturday, THWG!

Sonny Clusters

November 25th, 2009
5:54 pm

Jeff, is there still a veterinary school at Georgia and if they is, why would UGA VII have a heart attack slip up on him like that? Somebody on Mark’s blog said UGA died from a broken heart and we could see that happening with all the misfortune this year. Replacing a mascot is serious business and If they go with an animatronic dog they should get one that does some fireworks and makes some noise when they score.

Bobbi Dud

November 25th, 2009
5:59 pm

After the win…we will change the name of the stadium to Paul Johnson Stadium!

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
6:00 pm

Children of Dawg Fans shop for Christmas early. My van will be outside gate 8 at Bobby Dodd. I am selling UGA Overcoats. They come in Red, Black, or Red&Black with or without the big G. If you love your MOM come by and get The UGA Stright Jacket I mean UGA FAN Overcoat. Mom can sleep with no fear dad will get in the PBR and beat on her. Prices will go up after the Bowl game.

GTMan

November 25th, 2009
6:02 pm

I want to say Tech by 3. I would love for us to beat UGA by 30… But I know this will be a tough game.

Cuttysark

November 25th, 2009
6:02 pm

Nice picks Jeff. The dawg fans will be here blasting you shortly, but Tech covers in their game. The interesting game will be the gamecocks against Clemson. I’m feeling Spurrier pulling this one out with his strong defense. As big a rivalry as that game is, I actually see Clemson looking ahead to Georgia Tech, which is something they can’t do.

Go to http://isportsweb for a piece on Paul Johnson as he gets the Yellow Jackets ready for some clean old fashioned hate against UGA on Saturday, THWG!

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
6:03 pm

On a real note. If there are Tech Fans on here that will go to the game Bring 1 red rose and let the cheerleaders place them down where UGA’s house would be.

DawginLex

November 25th, 2009
6:11 pm

Classless comments from the nerd herd about the dog dying just continue. True class shines through.

Win or lose you can’t hide stupid.

Chris

November 25th, 2009
6:14 pm

Ha ha ha, you NERDS are in for a surprise. UGA has nothing to play for. UGA 35 Dorks 28.

Ludicrous

November 25th, 2009
6:18 pm

I think that the Bama grad in the photo is the same guy who was arrested for drunk driving a riding mower.

Ronnie

November 25th, 2009
6:26 pm

“PI$$ONADAWG” I feel for you. I can’t imagine what it was like for you growing up a poor, gay man without a father. When you and CPJ are in bed together, who’s usually on top? I hope to see your a$$ on here after the upset. Nerds lose to UGA, Clemson, and their bowl game. Ha ha.

Furry Foreigner

November 25th, 2009
6:26 pm

Tech is going to kill Georgia. Martinez couldn’t stop the option with 20 defensive players and a Howitzer.

DawgFan24

November 25th, 2009
6:34 pm

Jeff, are you trying to be the new Terrance Moore? What’s with the unnecessary pop-shots against the Dawgs? Trying to sell more papers? Should be interesting to see your retraction/foot-in-mouth statement about your lame prediction come Sunday. You can’t even give us a score?

Hillbilly Deluxe

November 25th, 2009
6:35 pm

Nice Monty Python reference on the chalk board.

Thanksgiving can be the scariest time of the year if you’re a turkey.

Anybody who has been around a farm knows that a domestic turkey don’t have a big enough brain to be worried about anything. Turkeys, like other animals, live totally in the moment. Now where’d I put my axe?

Engy

November 25th, 2009
6:40 pm

Chris, are you a moron? I’d be a lot more concerned if UGA had nothing to lose instead of nothing to play for. I guess you’re just reflective of the subnormal intelligence that typical Dawg fans exude.

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
6:42 pm

Ronnie I am soooo poooor I just hope you will let me live in your cardboard box under the bridge. I will let you be on top too. I have and will enjoy poking fun at DAWGS. You should have no fear I will be back Win or lose. I will txt if i have to on my way to TAMPA. What will you be doing? Do you even have tickets to UGA games? If you are so rich I guess you do. I have had My Tickets to Tech games since 74. Yes I poked fun at UGA VII’d passing because I have been on the blog all year saying UGA VII was scared the fans would put Antifreeze in his bowl or UGA VII was going to give shots to the Coaching Staff. GTFOI your theam is bad this year and you can’t handle the crap you talked in the past. HAHAHA enjoy. I also ask people that actually go to the games to bring a single red rose and give it to the UGA cheerleaders to place where UGA VII’s House would be. Yea, I am totally classless.

Chris

November 25th, 2009
6:43 pm

“Engy” nice name. I think you are the moron. Yes, UGA has nothing to play for. UGA is going to a terrible bowl, win or lose. It’s games like this where the underdog wins. I am not even a UGA fan but I love seeing the nerds lose.

dagnabit

November 25th, 2009
6:45 pm

I believe Mark Richt’s holier than thou attitude is losing Jawja some good football players from around the south. Not everyone wants their child under the thumb of a christian fanatic. Talk about all the 5 A players coming into the program, however Jawja football is going downhill. look above at which coach is smiling .

Paul in RDU

November 25th, 2009
6:45 pm

Hillbilly

I missed the Monty Python reference until you mentioned it.
This parrot is no more
He’s expired
He fell off his perch
He is an ex-parrot
He’s shuffled off this mortal coil
He’s popped his clogs

Ronnie

November 25th, 2009
6:47 pm

Pi$$onaDawg nice grammar and spelling! I am impressed! Hopefully one of the thugs near that dump of a campus of yours will put a bullet in your head on your way to your car. I would laugh all night long. Yes, my “theam” is bad this year. It happens once out of every 8 years or so. Unlike the nerds who are good only every eight years or so. What a moron.

Weatherdog

November 25th, 2009
6:50 pm

Dagnabit—you are a dang idiot!

GT4EVER

November 25th, 2009
6:50 pm

falcon 71 writes “I have eaten there and its not bad. order the scrapple”.

A funny description of scrapple = whatever meat scraps they don’t use to make hotdogs, they use to make scrapple. Eat at your own risk.

Red Dog 77

November 25th, 2009
6:51 pm

Had to comment on the article concerning Ritch under fire.Just had to. I certainly understand Tech fans spewing their nasty crap, my regards to you decent Tech fans that dont engage in that type of verbal venom. I am speaking specifically to so called UGA fans that want his head on a stick. You my dear boys do not know squat about the game of college football,I told you all before the season started that this was going to be a down year with lots of dissapointments, that is the way of the game cycles!!!! so go back to your trailor and think about it. I played the game of football ,I know the game, I know the kind of man CMR is and he is more of a man than anyone of you redneck jerks could ever dream of being, not to mention probubly one of the top 5 college football coaches in the country……….If you are a gentleman Tech fan or a gentleman UGA fan please disregard this is not for you, because you know what it is to be a gentleman, and a true college football fan. RED

John

November 25th, 2009
6:53 pm

I love how all of the Tech nerds say how UGA is “on the way down” and Tech is “on the way up.” This would be a valid statement if UGA lost 5 or 6 games two or three years in a row and Tech won 10 or 11 games two or three years in a row. Tech last won 10 games back in 1998. Tech last won 10 games in back to back seasons in the early 50’s. Tech has also lost 4 bowl games in a row. Don’t jump the gun nerds.

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
6:55 pm

Ronnie do you feel better now? This is a blog. Who is the teacher grading our blogs. Can I fix my mistakes and turn the blog in again? Would make sure to mark my blog with a big red X or circle? Show me all the errors and let’s just see how good you are.

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
7:02 pm

Ronnie will you be blogging during the game? I know jeff or mark will be live will you be online too?

MalibuGT

November 25th, 2009
7:06 pm

Every Tech fan I know feels badly about UGA’s death. Best of luck Saturday. But we all want put a whooping on the dogs. It a long time coming.

NERDS!!

November 25th, 2009
7:08 pm

We’ve heard you call us ‘Nerds” for so long now that it really doesn’t carry any weight. But please continue, if it somehow makes you feel superior. Most of the GT nation graduated from the playground and namecalling a long time ago.

I’m remembering the scene from “Revenge of the Nerds” where the jocks tear up the nerds fraternity house (fictional Lambda Lambda Lambda) after losing to them in the talent show.

Dear UGAy … please don’t trash our houses (or our campus) if you lose on Saturday. Don’t be angry with us for being good at World of Warcraft, Chess and FOOTBALL. I guess whenever UGAy loses to GT in a sport it upsets them … because sports is all they have. If sports aren’t successful there’s nothing else to turn to. And then, to top it all off, their dog dies. Poor little mutts.

Happy Thanksgiving … even you, UGAy !!

Pi$$onaDawg

November 25th, 2009
7:16 pm

I would like to be Bill Gates long before I would like to be Matt Stafford. Nerd Chicks are freaky; just not in public.

John

November 25th, 2009
7:16 pm

“NERDS!!” you just said that you have “graduated from the playground and name calling (two words so you know) a long time ago.” Then you do the “UGAy” thing? Interesting. I have a strong feeling you look just like Lewis from Revenge of the Nerds. I also assure you that not one Georgia fan cares at all if you are good at the World of Warcraft thing and Chess. Wow what a loser.

gatorman770

November 25th, 2009
7:17 pm

To hell with bunny huggin’ scams like PETA and the Humane Society of United States who’s main goal is to ban hunting & fishing, cancel the circus, turn your boots into contraband, do away with your pet dogs and cats, and stop cancer and other disease research in its tracks.
If you care for animals contribute to your local community animal shelters who actually utilize the funds for the welfare of animals rather than the six figure salaries, condos, extravagent parties and life styles etc. for the organizers/officers of PETA and HSUS.