Predictions: Dogs win, Birds lose, Vols — empty your pockets
It was down the stretch of the regular season last year when the defense of the tumbling football program at Georgia allowed 38, 49, 38, 13 and 45 points, and almost every week the secondary looked like the after shot when a chicken truck collides with Fred, the crazy neighbor, who just had to show you some tricks on his new motorcycle, because, like, you know that old joke about the last words heard by a redneck: “Hey, watch this …”
(We don’t have a rednecks in the audience today, do we? No? Just two? OK …)
The 13 points the Dogs allowed in that stretch last season came to Auburn, and soon after
Ever notice how the plan always sounds so good?
Tommy Tuberville was shown the exit ramp. I thought about this last week when Georgia beat Auburn again, 31-24 — they should play them more often — and Mark Richt lauded the defense, notwithstanding its current No. 11 ranking in the SEC and No. 56 nationally against the pass and its No. 120 ranking nationally in takeways (eight), all of which has led Willie Martinez to look like that guy driving the chicken truck. Or the motorcycle.
Richt was asked again this week about potential changes he might make after the season. His answer was something like this: “I like Mike and Ikes, especially the red ones.”
And so we wait. This week, it’s the final home game against Kentucky. Take a good look. Some of the grown ups may not be back.
People say the Wildcats aren’t very good. But if they’re 6-4, same as Georgia, and they beat Auburn by a touchdown, same as Georgia, does that make them same as Georgia? Close. But not quite. Dogs cover 8 1/2.
♦♦♦
Please Use a No. 2 Pencil
Lane Kiffin's first recruiting class strikes a pose.
Vanderbilt at Knoxville Correctional Institute: So it turns out three players getting arrested on charges of armed robbery isn’t the only problem at Tennessee. Lane Kiffin failed to mention another freshman is facing a charge for allegedly shoplifting a $110 Polo shirt on Nov. 7. Nice recruiting class. Do full scholarships in Knoxville include the leg chains? Vols win but take Vandy and 16 1/2.
Virginia at Clemson: The Tigers have won five straight since starting 2-3 and losing to Maryland. Funny. Virginia has lost four straight since beating Maryland. Al Groh keeps getting it backwards. Clemson rolls into the ACC title game (but won’t cover 20 1/2).
Sacrificial Lamb at Florida: Charleston Southern, Troy, Florida International. The Gators shop for non-conference opponents at Value City, right next to the bin of slightly imperfect dress shirts with sleeves and an upside down pocket. Gators cover 45 against FIU.
Maryland at FSU: Bobby Bowden might want to win this. The Seminoles are 5-5 and they’re not getting their bowl-eligible, sixth win against Florida (although it would be pretty funny to everybody except the hatchet-packing FSU Board of Trustees if they did). Noles cover 19.
♦♦♦
Pros and Cons
(Late Fall Blowout Special! Buy three picks and Bud Adams will give you the finger.)
This folder contains Falcon injury updates and suspected North Korean nuclear bomb sites.
Falcons at Giants: Michael Turner has a sprained ankle, three cracked ribs, a torn rotator cuff, some malfunctioning intestines and both arms were mauled by a lion Thursday. Of course, Mike Smith says he will be a game time decision. The Giants (four straight losses) are struggling. But the Falcons are 1-4 on the road and their backfield could consist of Jason Snelling and Aaron Stecker. Check? Giants win but won’t cover 6 1/2.
Saints at Bucs: The Saints have become a relatively average 9-0 team lately. Did I just say that? Actual factual: Drew Brees’ first five games: two interceptions. His last four games: seven interceptions. Prozac should start marketing to Fantasy Leagues. Saints win but take Tampa and 11 1/2.
I know people love debating the merits and hotness of Sarah Palin. So here she is. Besides, she can see the Seahawks from her kitchen window in Wasilla.
Seahawks at Vikings: Jim Mora called Arizona’s Darnell Dockett a dirty player for leaning on Matt Hasselbeck’s throat last week. Dockett responded with a Twitter: “Dear coach mora, its football [expletive] happens.” I guess he’s seen Mora’s resume. Vikings cover 11.
Eagles at Bears: There’s a chance several Philadelphia players will lean on Jay Cutler’s windpipe. But only because Bears fans paid them to. Eagles cover 3.
Redskins at Cowboys: Old Redskins guard John Wilbur once said, “George Allen never used to say, ‘The Dallas Cowboys.’ It was always, ‘The [g.d.] Dallas Cowboys. It’s the Cowboys’ uniform. It strikes hate and loathing in my mind, almost in a Pavlovian sense.” Don’t you miss the days when the Cowboys-Redskins meant something, let alone when a player would say things like, “Pavlovian”? Selah. (Thank you, Bish.) Dallas wins but take the Skins and 11.
Browns at Lions: Some thought it was a story when LeBron James said he could play for the Browns. What’s the big deal? Zydrunas Ilgauskas could play for the Browns. Lions cover 3 1/2.
♦♦♦
Toteboard
Last week: I think what’s really important is it’s a beautiful day, the birds are singing and I have clean socks.
Fine! 8-4 straight up, 5-7 against the line.
Totals: 83-38 straight up, 56-64 against the line.
Deadline: Three weeks left in fiscal season to pull even
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152 comments Add your comment
What part of abnoxiousville that pic was taken....
November 19th, 2009
11:31 pm
Jeff ? ……& how come those recruits…i mean felons are wearing black & white and not (THE ORIGINAL PUKE ORANGE THEY SHOULD WEAR) HECK!!!……… I Believe Tennessee Tuxito had better sense then this clowns so called (((((((((((( WILD BOYS ))))))))))) nm.
brokebackvol
November 19th, 2009
11:37 pm
Yes, we see UGAG fans are still horrible spellers. And your attempt at being witty about my name was as unimpressive at UGAG ’s pitiful offense.
University of tUToring !!!!!
November 19th, 2009
11:41 pm
The hell with the Viles. (((((((WiLd bOyS)))))))….((((((WiLd bOyS))))))….(((((WiLd bOyS)))))) !!!!!!
josh vol
November 19th, 2009
11:42 pm
RIP Uga. Vol fan here, but have great respect for the GA mascot. Lot of trash talk about the stupid idiots and Kiffin. Flavor of the week I suppose. Bottom line, I love the passion, and the barb’s back and forth. GA certainly cannot be proud of their arrest record. Anyway, sad to lose a great mascot, but GA football lives forever, along with its great tradition. A few weeks ago, most folks in Ga would take the fire Kiffin had over lack of D Willie any day.Well, mascots and idiots come and go, but the traditions of both UT and GA will live on.
Recruits.com
November 19th, 2009
11:48 pm
Pelosi is dead??? UGALY is dead——life is good
Go jackets
Roland
November 19th, 2009
11:59 pm
FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!! JEFF STRIKES AGAIN. WHY DON’T YOU COVER HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL WITH YOUR HUMOR? LOTS OF MATERIAL I’M TELLING YOU!!! PLEASE
BoboFett
November 20th, 2009
12:08 am
Jeff, do you really think Tuberville was shown the door because of a loss to Georgia? His firing was the culmination of a horrid season that ended by getting demolished 36-0 in Tuscaloosa.
Eric P.
November 20th, 2009
12:14 am
Puck Falin!
uga-brave
November 20th, 2009
12:21 am
schultz,
your weekend predictions are awesome.
on fridays, i always read you first.
so why all the political stuff?
give it a rest.
take a que from mike bell when you get to work with him.
jeff, loved he black jack tribute.
jeff, pissing upstream only goes so far.
Let the Big Dawgs eat
November 20th, 2009
12:36 am
Pi$$onaDawg
November 19th, 2009
8:50 pm
Love Me Hate Me but ask CUZ and 45 ACP I said UGA VII was drinking the AntiFreeze from the Ramblin Wreck Built Saturday Model T FORD TOUGH from the first of the year. I will not miss this UGA because he represents your non-grad fans. He was FAT UGLY and Stupid. I do hate that the team lost their Mascott. RIP UGA VII. GET a healthy non-inbread pos to wear the red G sweater. DAMN BAD DAWG. Fat Stupid and Ugly is no way to go through life.
—————————————————————————
And bone thin, geeky, and living life as someone’s lab rat is no way to go through life either. Bt you probably had to learn that the hard way, huh Techie?
Let the Big Dawgs eat
November 20th, 2009
12:49 am
brokebackvol,
Your choice of screen name is pretty much akin to taping a huge sign on your back that reads “Kick me”. And your screen name also suggests that you are from a part of Tennessee that would give you no room to comment on another fan’s spelling (Deliverance anyone?). But kudos to your UGAG crack. You actually lose points for lack of originalty on that one. And admittedly we have some rude and trashy fans in Atlanta, but they are definitely ahigher class of fan than the hillbilly Vol fans who reside in the state of Tennessee.
Recruits.com
November 20th, 2009
12:52 am
If reincarnation is real—-I want to come back as Sarah’s bicycle seat.
KJ
November 20th, 2009
1:01 am
It’s funny how POAD rags on non-grad fans, when he almost certainly couldn’t get into UGA. Once again, he proves himself to be a pathetic middle-aged loser, who would do the world a big favor by drinking antifreeze himself.
Let the Big Dawgs eat
November 20th, 2009
1:03 am
And as far as the predictions go:
Dawgs cover the 8 1/2
Vols cover 16 1/2 (Vandy is terrible)
Clemson wins, but doesn’t cover 20 1/2
Gators cover the 45 (There is a line on this? Seriously)
FSU wins, but doesn’t cover 19
Falcons in a straight upset
Aints win, but don’t cover the 11 1/2
Vikings cover the 11
Eagles cover the 3
Cowboys cover the 11
Browns and Lions – Of all the NFL games, Jeff, you pcked this one for a prediction? Seriously, though, Lions cover the 3 1/2.
brokebackvol
November 20th, 2009
1:25 am
Dear Let the Big Dawgs eat Cyanide,
Obviously I’m proud to be both gay and a Volunteers fan, so you lose points on trying to point out the obvious.
If you think that your rednecks are better than ours, you are sadly mistaken. Let’s not forget your lovely ‘necks cooked up the dead bigfoot story thinking they would get rich. TN isn’t the place with an idiot governor (not ironic that he’s an ex-dawg) trying to heist some of that wonderful mountain water in the Tennessee River due to poor planning on the part of the Yech grads here in the Overly-developed Peach City.
Having said all that, I agree with your picks, but let’s try picking something a little more fun, like which coaches are going to get walking papers. Vandy is indeed terrible. Is Weis gonna get the shepherd’s hook from stage left? Have a nice weekend.
You can call me "Sir"
November 20th, 2009
5:24 am
Pelosi stretching? Just look at her botox face! One more dose and she’s going to turn into Kenny Rogers.
TampaGator
November 20th, 2009
6:37 am
Yeah, makes perfect sense to me. Urban will leave the current best football program in the country for a place where the last three head coaches have been fired and could not win. Pure logic.
Required Reading | Hard Knox Sports
November 20th, 2009
7:39 am
[...] Schultz’s predictions. [AJC] [...]
Dennis
November 20th, 2009
7:55 am
Jeff, Why all the hate on a woman? To agree with one means to degrade the other? Is that the only choice? If you were doing a photo shoot for running magazine what else would you be wearing? Sure, they all have extreme ideas but show some respect for your Mother’s gender. Or, is that the problem?
dagnabit
November 20th, 2009
8:19 am
Palin can’t shut up during sex. Uga V11 did leave a note. The note is blaming Martinez too. Urban has accepted the bulldog boosters offer to buy a house for him in South Bend. Bulldogs rejoice.
Haiku Man
November 20th, 2009
8:20 am
UGA’s heart attack?
The dog feared next Saturday
And embarrassment
D. Orlando Ledbetter
November 20th, 2009
8:23 am
D. Led votes “Hot” for Palin. (Don’t tell Mrs. D. Led!)
Eric
November 20th, 2009
8:36 am
That disgusting bag is on TV every time I turn it on these days. Must she “grace” the sports page too? Ugh! Kentucky and Vandy have a chance. Do the Birds? It’s debatable. Deepest sympathy for Uga.
dap01
November 20th, 2009
8:36 am
Nancy Pelosi would be much worse than Palin.
Rodster
November 20th, 2009
8:49 am
Volman, get a life (and a sense of humor while you’re at it!)
» BBL: What others said about the UK win (plus football) John Clay’s Sidelines
November 20th, 2009
8:55 am
[...] Jeff Schultz of the AJC picks Georgia to cover the spread against Kentucky on Saturday, writing, “People say the Wildcats aren’t very good. But if they’re 6-4, same as Georgia, and they beat Auburn by a touchdown, same as Georgia, does that make them same as Georgia? Close. But not quite. Dogs cover 8 1/2.” [...]
kool$kat
November 20th, 2009
9:00 am
Quoting from AJC article about UGA VII: In fact, Seiler said Uga VII had just been given a clean bill of health from the UGA vet school a week earlier. So, the vet dept sux about as bad as the football team.
AlwaysAVol
November 20th, 2009
9:23 am
Dawgs..45-19. The only score that matters so far as UT-UGA is concerned. See you next year.
SadDawg
November 20th, 2009
9:24 am
I can’t see Urban Myer leaving UF for any other college either, TampaGator. He has no more challenges in college football. The next natural challange for him is the NFL. There’ll be some $$$ thrown his way from that direction soon…
Don't bend over and pick up the soap.......
November 20th, 2009
9:28 am
Well this is something new to the AJC blogs, huh?
SadDawg
November 20th, 2009
9:36 am
Unlike you, Eric, “that discusting bag” is popular. Her book was #1 in sales, before it was released! When she speaks, 12,000 to 50,000 go see her. Obviously, everybody doesn’t think the same. And, the ones who think like the “bag” don’t find it compelling to irrationally trash others who think differently.
Buzz
November 20th, 2009
9:45 am
8 days and 10 hours til the beat down begins!!! Ugga couldn’t bare the thought of having to watch and lost all reason to live. Can we just fire Hewitt right now and get it over with…. Up 7 with 4 min to play and choke it away…. Real coaching takes place in crunch time and ours was sleeping! Hire Mark Price!!!!!
Nancy Pelosi
November 20th, 2009
9:45 am
Oh really Schultz? Shall I go Brooke Hundley on you? Hillary told me about your birthmark and she was right about the location.
Larvell "Sugar Bear" Blanks
November 20th, 2009
9:45 am
A sad Day indeed for all of us here at Bulldawg Nation. Hey Kool$Kat, you watch your mouth Mister!
Jeff-valid and lucid column this time. I am finding Sarah to be a fascinating individual. Her story is incredible. Do I think she is qualified to be President. No more qualified than the current boob we have in the WH. Last point, the b/w photo of Kiffy’s first recruiting class is one for the ages! Great Photo.
I am going to leave you with some scuttlebutt currently going around Athens. And you heard it here first. CMR announces his retirement at the end of the year! Says he no longer has the passion for the game or coaching. Plus, he’d rather fall on the sword with Willie than make the right call!
Richard Dawson
November 20th, 2009
9:53 am
It will be challenging for even a Mark Richt-coached team to blow a game to a KY team without Hartline and Cobb (if he indeed is out). Too bad. More losses = the sooner we can get rid of this clown.
And we get Cle-Det on Turkey Day? Who dreamed up that matchup? I know we always get Det, but match them up against somebody good. I’d rather see a blowout than a Cle QB any day.
FIRE MARK RICHT.
UT96
November 20th, 2009
9:56 am
Republicans have the hotter women: Palin, Coulter, etc. Although, Hillary has gotten better looking over the years:)
Mark
November 20th, 2009
9:59 am
Dog Tennessee Jeff Schultz. Georgia is so bad UGA VII couldn’t take it anymore.
Samuel
November 20th, 2009
10:10 am
The only way the Falcons win is the defense has to play well the entire game. Matt Ryan has a good game with few mistakes. Atleast one kickoff or punt return, for a touch down. Jason Snelling, Stecker, and Norwood fill in for Turner so well we won’t miss him. The offensive coordinator calls a great game. Geees that’s asking a lot.
TommyJack
November 20th, 2009
10:20 am
Jeff is such a Richard Head
pilgrim
November 20th, 2009
10:28 am
The Giants are returning everybody healthy. They see this game as saving a season gone wrong. Sound familiar? On the bright side, the Falcons are being schooled in tough contests, and if Ryan can finally win one of them, it could be a turning point for him.
Nativebird
November 20th, 2009
10:29 am
If Norwood is back, and does play substantially, I GUARANTEE you that he WILL be injured again before the game is over.
Jason Snelling…Get ready.
Smitty, It is TIME to re-order the depth chart at Running back.
Yellow Fuzz
November 20th, 2009
10:30 am
“ Wes Bunting of NationalFootballPost.com lists Dwyer, a junior, as the best running back on the board and the No. 8 overall NFL prospect. Bunting called Dwyer “a violent runner who exhibits good vision between the tackles and has the initial burst to separate from defenders at the second level.”
There must be some mistake. Dwyer plays in that “gimmick”, “high school”, “triple option” system that no blue chip recruit with aspirations of playing in the NFL would ever consider………………Hahahaha. Some dog nation bloggers on here are wrong about absolutely everything. See you azzholes on the 28th and bring all those top 5 recruiting classes with you! LOL.
45-42
Falcons are heavy underdogs without Turner | Atlanta Falcons with D. Orlando Ledbetter
November 20th, 2009
10:39 am
[...] the great Swami Schultz has the Falcons losing, but covering the [...]
Partisay
November 20th, 2009
10:42 am
As a Tenness Fan, I must say the BW photo of Kiffen’s class is funny. Every school goes thru what the Orange is going thru right now. Now is just Tennessee’s turn. Enjoy it while you can because your school will be next.
UT 96 – in your comment of “Republicans have better women” you included Coulter…are you blind? Skinny witches are not pretty.
Condolences to the Dawg Nation on Uga. I have one just like him that is laying on my couch now, snoring away. They are indeed the most special dogs on earth.
black sheep
November 20th, 2009
10:51 am
Now Jeff there ya go again- getting the Repukes all stirred up over Palin. Of course her elevator doesn’t go to the top floor. But you should remember that she can see the AJC building from Wasilla.
Jive Lady
November 20th, 2009
11:56 am
What an insult to the gay community, he’s proud to be a Vol fan…
Orville Wright
November 20th, 2009
12:25 pm
The Gators schedule….tee-hee,tee-hee,tee-hee,tee-hee,tee-hee,giggle, giggle..It’s a GIRLY MAN’s schedule. You know, they know, the world knows it. I’m no Aalabama fan but ROOOOLLLLLLLLLLL TIDE!
Let the Big Dawgs eat
November 20th, 2009
1:44 pm
brokeback…………In all seriousness, I really had no idea you were gay. I thought the screen name was a light hearted poke at hillbilly behavior at Tennessee. I won’t go there again and do apologize if you were offended. And I do give you points for the Yech comment.
That being said, when I was comparing the ‘necks in thetwo great states, I was mainly refering to fervor the ‘necks have in rooting for their teams. I grew up near Chattanooga and went to UGA and currently live in Atlanta. Been around both ‘neck fan bases of Georgia and Tennessee. Trust me, the Georgia ones are more classy. But neither are a true representation of the entire fanbases of either team and both can be a shame to both fanbases.
But if you want to compare the’necks who run both states, yes the whole “border gate” fiasco was an embarressment. But our state doesn’t have a ridiculous state sales tax that hurts virtually every business in the state located on the border of another state. And our sate became more open to a thingslike lottery several years before the ‘necks in Tennessee. You may not be able to purchase alcohol in Georgia on Sundays, but good luck purchasing liquor in Tennessee after 8:00 on any night or going through the less govt bs when it comes to blue laws. So even our blue laws are less “backards”.
And as far as predictions on who gets walking papers first, I will go there. Bobby Johnson is safe. He’s the best thing to happen to Vandy in football in decades. I think Weis, Groh, and possibly Mangino are gone. And depending on what happens with these workout logs at Michigan, Rodriguez better not feel too comfortable. As far as CWM goes, I think his employment hinges on the Tech game. He showed an ability to adjust in the Auburn game against a very potent Auburn offense (Jeff – difference between Auburn this year and last is last year Auburn couldn’t move the football against anybody, not just UGA.) If he can find a way to control Tech’s offense and shut them down, no way you can justify firing him. Get torched by Tech 2 years in a row, and CWM is job hunting January.
Large Orange
November 20th, 2009
1:47 pm
@ Chuck Ugay……..Lets harken back to October, Bozo. Does 45 – 19 sound familiar? UGAg only scored 3 points on offense. UT’s defense gave you the other 16 points. Maybe they felt sorry since UGAg has so many redneck fans like you. UT has spanked the Mildcats 24 years in a row, Blubberbutt. This year will mark the 25th year in a row. UGAg loses to the Mildcats and then GT beats them like a rented mule. Enjoy the Music City Bowl. I hear Nashville is lovely early in December. Now get off the library computer. Some people need to use it besides you.
Big Blue
November 22nd, 2009
7:56 am
Oops…So much for DAWG’s covering the spread against Kentucky.