Predictions: Dogs win, Birds lose, Vols — empty your pockets
It was down the stretch of the regular season last year when the defense of the tumbling football program at Georgia allowed 38, 49, 38, 13 and 45 points, and almost every week the secondary looked like the after shot when a chicken truck collides with Fred, the crazy neighbor, who just had to show you some tricks on his new motorcycle, because, like, you know that old joke about the last words heard by a redneck: “Hey, watch this …”
(We don’t have a rednecks in the audience today, do we? No? Just two? OK …)
The 13 points the Dogs allowed in that stretch last season came to Auburn, and soon after
Ever notice how the plan always sounds so good?
Tommy Tuberville was shown the exit ramp. I thought about this last week when Georgia beat Auburn again, 31-24 — they should play them more often — and Mark Richt lauded the defense, notwithstanding its current No. 11 ranking in the SEC and No. 56 nationally against the pass and its No. 120 ranking nationally in takeways (eight), all of which has led Willie Martinez to look like that guy driving the chicken truck. Or the motorcycle.
Richt was asked again this week about potential changes he might make after the season. His answer was something like this: “I like Mike and Ikes, especially the red ones.”
And so we wait. This week, it’s the final home game against Kentucky. Take a good look. Some of the grown ups may not be back.
People say the Wildcats aren’t very good. But if they’re 6-4, same as Georgia, and they beat Auburn by a touchdown, same as Georgia, does that make them same as Georgia? Close. But not quite. Dogs cover 8 1/2.
♦♦♦
Please Use a No. 2 Pencil
Lane Kiffin's first recruiting class strikes a pose.
Vanderbilt at Knoxville Correctional Institute: So it turns out three players getting arrested on charges of armed robbery isn’t the only problem at Tennessee. Lane Kiffin failed to mention another freshman is facing a charge for allegedly shoplifting a $110 Polo shirt on Nov. 7. Nice recruiting class. Do full scholarships in Knoxville include the leg chains? Vols win but take Vandy and 16 1/2.
Virginia at Clemson: The Tigers have won five straight since starting 2-3 and losing to Maryland. Funny. Virginia has lost four straight since beating Maryland. Al Groh keeps getting it backwards. Clemson rolls into the ACC title game (but won’t cover 20 1/2).
Sacrificial Lamb at Florida: Charleston Southern, Troy, Florida International. The Gators shop for non-conference opponents at Value City, right next to the bin of slightly imperfect dress shirts with sleeves and an upside down pocket. Gators cover 45 against FIU.
Maryland at FSU: Bobby Bowden might want to win this. The Seminoles are 5-5 and they’re not getting their bowl-eligible, sixth win against Florida (although it would be pretty funny to everybody except the hatchet-packing FSU Board of Trustees if they did). Noles cover 19.
♦♦♦
Pros and Cons
(Late Fall Blowout Special! Buy three picks and Bud Adams will give you the finger.)
This folder contains Falcon injury updates and suspected North Korean nuclear bomb sites.
Falcons at Giants: Michael Turner has a sprained ankle, three cracked ribs, a torn rotator cuff, some malfunctioning intestines and both arms were mauled by a lion Thursday. Of course, Mike Smith says he will be a game time decision. The Giants (four straight losses) are struggling. But the Falcons are 1-4 on the road and their backfield could consist of Jason Snelling and Aaron Stecker. Check? Giants win but won’t cover 6 1/2.
Saints at Bucs: The Saints have become a relatively average 9-0 team lately. Did I just say that? Actual factual: Drew Brees’ first five games: two interceptions. His last four games: seven interceptions. Prozac should start marketing to Fantasy Leagues. Saints win but take Tampa and 11 1/2.
I know people love debating the merits and hotness of Sarah Palin. So here she is. Besides, she can see the Seahawks from her kitchen window in Wasilla.
Seahawks at Vikings: Jim Mora called Arizona’s Darnell Dockett a dirty player for leaning on Matt Hasselbeck’s throat last week. Dockett responded with a Twitter: “Dear coach mora, its football [expletive] happens.” I guess he’s seen Mora’s resume. Vikings cover 11.
Eagles at Bears: There’s a chance several Philadelphia players will lean on Jay Cutler’s windpipe. But only because Bears fans paid them to. Eagles cover 3.
Redskins at Cowboys: Old Redskins guard John Wilbur once said, “George Allen never used to say, ‘The Dallas Cowboys.’ It was always, ‘The [g.d.] Dallas Cowboys. It’s the Cowboys’ uniform. It strikes hate and loathing in my mind, almost in a Pavlovian sense.” Don’t you miss the days when the Cowboys-Redskins meant something, let alone when a player would say things like, “Pavlovian”? Selah. (Thank you, Bish.) Dallas wins but take the Skins and 11.
Browns at Lions: Some thought it was a story when LeBron James said he could play for the Browns. What’s the big deal? Zydrunas Ilgauskas could play for the Browns. Lions cover 3 1/2.
♦♦♦
Toteboard
Last week: I think what’s really important is it’s a beautiful day, the birds are singing and I have clean socks.
Fine! 8-4 straight up, 5-7 against the line.
Totals: 83-38 straight up, 56-64 against the line.
Deadline: Three weeks left in fiscal season to pull even
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152 comments Add your comment
watchandsee
November 19th, 2009
5:58 pm
And BTW, Jeffy, it’s Christmas, not Xmas.
Delbert D.
November 19th, 2009
5:59 pm
“I still want a new DC for Christmas.”
blackout-dog – Why do you need a new comic? You’ve already got a Marvel, WM as The Silver Surfer.
OldSchool
November 19th, 2009
6:01 pm
Are you sure Uga VII died…maybe he just “Blacked Out”…RTR
FalconUGAFan
November 19th, 2009
6:02 pm
Damn good dawg! Cue the disrespect…
Sunny Purdue
November 19th, 2009
6:06 pm
I thought the last words were….”hold my beer and watch this”….
uberVU - social comments
November 19th, 2009
6:07 pm
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by JeffSchultzAJC: Predictions: #Georgia wins, #Falcons lose — and look, it’s Sarah Palin in tights! (cheap page views). http://bit.ly/1uu8z8…
Saint Simons
November 19th, 2009
6:07 pm
((((Dayton beat Tech))) hahahahahahahahahahahaha
hokie hater
November 19th, 2009
6:15 pm
VA CAVS in an upset over Clempsun, Groh fires up the team who knew!
Lance
November 19th, 2009
6:16 pm
Jeff– there is no doubt! I would let Sarah talk dirty to me!
hokie hater
November 19th, 2009
6:16 pm
and Wofford beat UGA…the best laugh would be to have UGA vs. GT in hoops
Snoop
November 19th, 2009
6:27 pm
Richt would have taken all four of the UT criminals, and they would have sat out the first game of next season.
POSER
November 19th, 2009
6:30 pm
Sarah is damn good looking, and I’m sorry about UGA but he was damn ugly.
bugman
November 19th, 2009
6:45 pm
Sunny, you are correct sir.
I have misplaced alot of PBR that way…
dandydawg
November 19th, 2009
6:55 pm
That was so wrong Jeff… You better not let little laney read this….. LOL!!!!!!
jacket3
November 19th, 2009
7:18 pm
OK JS – Sarah is a fox…I don’t care what anybody says…a little goofy maybe…but none the less gutsier than The Dogs leader any day.
And about the dog….condolences to UGA a pet is hard to lose.
It just seems like nothing is in harmony with UGA anymore, so is it a harbinger of the future?
bob horner stayed hurt
November 19th, 2009
7:33 pm
Larry…DITTO…nice post
Is it Urban?
November 19th, 2009
7:50 pm
“Peter Kerasotis of Florida Today says Weis being let go is becoming more inevitable with every loss, especially now that Irish athletics director Jack Swarbrick has said money will not be a consideration in such a decision (Weis was signed to a 10-year contract extension in 2005, believed to include a multi-million dollar severance deal).
Kerasotis puts Meyer first on the list of possible replacements and adds about him:
The best coach in the country is young (45), innovative and, yes, Catholic (named after a pope). He’s also a former Notre Dame assistant coach. For many very good reasons, Notre Dame covets him. In fact, Meyer is the reason the Irish didn’t wait until after the 2004 season to dismiss Willingham. They saw Florida pursuing Meyer after firing Ron Zook in midseason and tried to beat the Gators to the dotted line. They didn’t.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/18/urban-meyer-notre-dame-ru_n_362646.html
Paul Johnson's breaf stanks
November 19th, 2009
7:54 pm
Sarah Palin Rocks…. a true conservative along with El Rushbo who lives in America and had every right to purchase a NFL team whether you liked it or not snob!
Predictions: Dogs win, Birds lose, Vols — empty your pockets … Wiky Blog
November 19th, 2009
7:54 pm
[...] rest is here: Predictions: Dogs win, Birds lose, Vols — empty your pockets … By admin | category: dogs | tags: down-the-stretch, football-program, georgia, [...]
Obama
November 19th, 2009
8:00 pm
Hey Jeff, I got a better view than Sarah!Look on my wall at the Flag of Carl Marx!What a guy!Oh wait,thats my picture.
Motivational Expert
November 19th, 2009
8:10 pm
Here’s a chance for Georgia to take the field against Kentucky with a surprise mascot – much like those surprise helmets for Florida. Now, what sort of mascot might they choose?
Jeff Schultz
November 19th, 2009
8:17 pm
PJ — I’d totally back Palin owning an NFL team. Great material for me.
Jeff Schultz
November 19th, 2009
8:18 pm
Is it Urban? — I’ve said it before. Wrote it a year ago. It wouldn’t shock me.
Jeff Schultz
November 19th, 2009
8:19 pm
Large Orange — I guess they sing Rocky Top in jail, huh?
Jeff Schultz
November 19th, 2009
8:20 pm
Dandy Dawg — I hope this doesn’t kill my chances with Layla Kiffin.
Jeff Schultz
November 19th, 2009
8:22 pm
Poser — Have you ever seen a good looking bulldog?
Jeff Schultz
November 19th, 2009
8:23 pm
Watchandsee — Too many letters.
Jeff Schultz
November 19th, 2009
8:24 pm
Larry–No deal on Pelosi and Hillary.
Paul Johnson's breaf stanks
November 19th, 2009
8:28 pm
yeah Jeff Im not schocked at all…… maybe you can purchase the Falcons along with Pelosi and Barney Fwank if Arthur Blank decides to give up. Maybe the Braves too ?
Disney Dawg
November 19th, 2009
8:35 pm
Convict picture is University System Board of Regents after adding another mysterious tax, I mean “fee”, to all Georgia students for the 100th time in 10 years. Where’s all that lottery money for “free” education?
Obama
November 19th, 2009
8:37 pm
Oh wait a minute.My first post to Jeff was misquoted!I don’t care if you have me on tape either!Uh….. Fox just twisted my words.
Pi$$onaDawg
November 19th, 2009
8:50 pm
Love Me Hate Me but ask CUZ and 45 ACP I said UGA VII was drinking the AntiFreeze from the Ramblin Wreck Built Saturday Model T FORD TOUGH from the first of the year. I will not miss this UGA because he represents your non-grad fans. He was FAT UGLY and Stupid. I do hate that the team lost their Mascott. RIP UGA VII. GET a healthy non-inbread pos to wear the red G sweater. DAMN BAD DAWG. Fat Stupid and Ugly is no way to go through life.
Ga Dawg in Dallas, Tx
November 19th, 2009
8:55 pm
Seriously, as much as I hate GT, they have had an incredible season. But don’t you think if (chunky) Paul Johnson gets a chance to go to a real school that competes for National Championships on a regular basis, he won’t go ?? He would blaze a trail out of Atlanta. He will be a hot topic among schools looking for a head coach this year. Either way, Go Dawgs , beat Kentucky and then we will worry about Tech.
The Ghost of Jimmy The Greek
November 19th, 2009
9:06 pm
I’ll take Kentucky and lay the points – upset.
I’ll take Vandy and lay the points – upset.
I’ll take Sarah and a bottle of scotch, and I’ll see you boys later.
Obama
November 19th, 2009
9:07 pm
Hey Jeff, I like the “Empty you pockets part of your heading”Your my kind of guy!Wink,Wink,
Paul
November 19th, 2009
9:12 pm
Jeff and all the clowns on here sure do have a thing for the Vols! Appreciate all the attention folks! By the way, Tennessee just signed the number one forward in the country for the basketball Vols…will continue to kick some Dawg a$$ on the basketball court for years to come. BTW, Jeff we expect equal treatment of the Dawgs when THUG U of Athens has some stray dogs.
Obama
November 19th, 2009
9:18 pm
I am sorry to hear about UGA.We were dear freinds.Such good freinds I think he want mind me taking 60% of his estate!Well you know,for the common good.
Epiminondas
November 19th, 2009
9:22 pm
UGA died of grief.
Pearl
November 19th, 2009
9:23 pm
Paul, What reeled him in was the great inmate release program we offer here at ut.It just makes there gang leader,Uh….. I mean mothers feel so much more at ease.
Calhoundawg
November 19th, 2009
9:28 pm
Jeff, I haven’t read all of the blogs in between your opening article and this post, and maybe I’m just in a bad mood tonight, but the opening remarks about Georgia Football are almost incoherent. What the hell are you even talking about? Seriously, have you been drinking or have you just absolutely run out of material? Granted, this year has been a little more stressful than anicipated, but the record will show that there are many, many teams in the country which share our “pedigree” that suck a lot worse than we do. Come on, we beat Kentucky and we’re one game off our last two SEC season records of 6-2. Give us a mulligan on the LSU debacle and throw in a couple of sheer patsies like the vast majority of of other SEC teams have had on their schedules (Ohio, Florida International, Tennesee-Chattanooga, Western Kentucky, etc., etc.) and the year’s overall record looks (feels) entirely different. Give credit where credit is due. Georgia will still most likely finish 2nd in the East again, and let’s face it, they still represent the next best challenge to Florida’s dominance in the division. Our two consectutive brutal years of scheduling level out in 2010 and we all know that Georgia will put a team back on the field again next year (I think I just read that Georgia now ranks 3rd in SEC rushing defense). With yet another top-ten recruiting class and at least one significant coaching change, we ought to be ready to rock ‘n roll! Go Dawgs !!!
P.S. The Tennessee pic is priceless!
bigdawg
November 19th, 2009
9:38 pm
Sarah is, indeed, a cougar. But, she’s an idiot and might be an even worse president that W!
Chuck Uga
November 19th, 2009
9:48 pm
Chuck,
Funny as hell post about Pelosi. Guess the Medical Examiner let one slide out the van. Too bad that 18-wheeler trailing behind swerved and missed the cadaver.
Let’s lay off Ryan. I am all over the Falcons +7. Even if they lose, they will make it close, The Giants D is much worse off than Atlanta’s, especially the secondary. Giants have given up 133 points their last four games…that won’t change Sunday. And Drew Brees will be forced to wear a blind fold in the second half after the mercy rule is invoked at halftime of the Bucs-Saints game.
Chuck Uga
November 19th, 2009
9:52 pm
Large Orange = Fat Bastard
Better watch what you wish for. UThugs still has Kentucky in a week. Kentucky AND Georgia beat Auburn…how did UT do against them?
Mark Richt
November 19th, 2009
10:10 pm
Here’s my coaching change…I’m dumping the wife and picking up Palin.
Asheville Dawg
November 19th, 2009
10:17 pm
Enjoyed your picture of Lame Kitten’s initial recruiting class.Is that about 20% arrested? As I’ve heard they get those 100,000 crowds at Neyland, and bus them back to prison when its over. Great Pallin shot.
Dawg insider
November 19th, 2009
11:07 pm
From Tallahassee: FSU is buying out Jimbo, Bowden is retiring after this season and Mark Richt is headed south.
u can't spell UTurd without...sTickem Up !!!!!!
November 19th, 2009
11:16 pm
I love it !!!!!!!!!!! Great job as always Jeff !!!!!! GO DAWGS !!!!
scott
November 19th, 2009
11:24 pm
So what, you want Hillary in that photo? You liberals are so scared of her it hilarious! Lay off you douche, if you wrote a book she might be the only one nice enough to buy the darn thing. Nice cheap shot AJC.
brokebackvol
November 19th, 2009
11:26 pm
Actually, that polo only cost $45.19 – that should sound familiar to Dawg fans ( had another mascot die huh?) Oh, and before I forget, there’s a reason Atlanta Vol fans enjoy pulling for the Vols and whoever is playing UGAG. Enjoy your arse kicking by the Jackets coming up, sucker.
scott
November 19th, 2009
11:28 pm
Hey bigdawg, I think the idiot is the one using poor grammer!