If you want to know why the Chicago Bears will never win anything with Jay Cutler — and why Jay Cutler will never win anything that requires leadership, forethought or something larger than a walnut between his ears — it was on display Thursday night.
Cutler threw five interceptions against San Francisco. The Bears lost, 10-6. After the game, the quarterback of the team said: “I have to apologize to the defense. I think the offense as a whole has to apologize.”
Uh, no. Cutler should apologize to the defense, the offense, the coaches, the fans and the guy flipping burgers at Billy Goat Tavern, then work his way up and down every “L” train in the city of Chicago and beg for forgiveness.
This dude is a disaster. I mean, disaster on the Jeff George scale of disasters. He has a league-high 17 interceptions. He has thrown at least three picks in three games. He has thrown over four interceptions twice. That’s the first time a Bears quarterback has done that since Billy Wade in 1962. When you’re sinking to levels that haven’t been sunk to in 47 years, that’s a problem. And he still has seven games left. That’s assuming some guy in a Ditka jersey doesn’t abduct him.
And you know the worst news of all? I’m dropping the Bears behind the Seahawks in the weekly NFC rankings. Take that!
1. (1.) NEW ORLEANS (8-0): The Saints have not exactly rolled over their last three opponents (Dolphins, Falcons, Panthers). But they could be missing half of their major organs and still win the next two weeks over St. Louis and Tampa Bay (combined record: 2-14).
2. (2.) MINNESOTA (7-1): The Vikings and Saints should compare notes. They might be the best team going right now, they’re coming off a bye week and their next three games are against the Lions, Seahawks and Bears. As an NFL fan, this is when you tell yourself, “Just get me to late December already so I’ve got something to watch.”
3. (3.) DALLAS (6-2): Two headlines in a Dallas newspaper this week: “Stock is rising for Dallas Cowboys’ Wade Phillips,” and, “Dallas Cowboys’ Romo showing signs of maturity.” I know the Cowboys have been winning. I know Tony Romo has been great. But am I the only one who expects this thing to blow up at some point?
4. (4.) PHILADELPHIA (5-3): Interesting story in the Philadelphia Daily News with statistical evidence showing Donovan McNabb can’t win close games any more. And if he was on my Fantasy League team, I might care.
5. (6.) ARIZONA (5-3): Here’s the statistical anomaly of the season: Kurt Warner in four home games: six touchdowns, nine interceptions, 10 sacks. Kurt Warner in four road games: 10 touchdowns, two interceptions, five sacks. The next game is at home, but it’s against Seattle. So I think those two cancel each other out.
6. (8.) FALCONS (5-3): Welcome back to the NFL, Michael Turner: In the last two games against two pretty good defenses (Saints, Redskins): 317 yards and three touchdowns. Now all the Falcons’ offense needs is for Matt Ryan to be better than ordinary, because nobody wants to leave this team’s fate up to the defense.
7. (5.) GREEN BAY (4-4): I can only assume the Packers suffered a Brett Favre hangover last week, because the only other explanation for losing to Tampa Bay can be found in the incurable diseases section on WebMD.
8. (7.) N.Y. GIANTS (5-4): The Giants are 0-4 since starting 5-0 and the defense has allowed 16 touchdowns in the last four games. The old Tom Coughlin would’ve ripped his players’ heads off. This is the grown up Tom Coughlin: “It is my responsibility, and that is where it stops — right here. Nobody else is to blame. So let’s not continue to [feel] around trying to figure that situation out.” And that, folks, is what leadership is all about.
9. (11.) SAN FRANCISCO (4-5): Quarterback Alex Smith did a really good job handing off the ball to Frank Gore in the win over the Bears, which doesn’t quite justify the 49ers taking him first in the draft. But, hey, he won. That was the first time Smith has won a start since Week 2 of 2007. He’s now 12-21 as a franchise savior. Record as a starter at Utah: 21.
10. (10.) CAROLINA (3-5): It wasn’t hard for the Falcons to locate the key to beating the Panthers this week. Stopping DeAngelo Williams, however, isn’t going to be easy. His last four games: 528 yards (6.1 per carry) and five touchdowns. But something tells me this won’t be enough to save John Fox’s job.
11. (12.) SEATTLE (3-5): I really don’t mean to pick on Jim Mora and Greg Knapp every week. OK, maybe a little. But here’s an excerpt from a SeattlePI.com blog: “When offensive
coordinator Greg Knapp joined Jim Mora’s staff with the Seattle Seahawks this year, talk focused on his emphasis on the run game and history of success on the ground. In eight years as an NFL coordinator, Knapp’s units finished in the top 10 in rushing every season. … But as the Seahawks hit the halfway point in their first season in Knapp’s new system, the offense instead is not only 30th in the league this year, but on pace for the worst running totals in the franchise’s 34-year history.” OK. My work is done here.
12. (9.) CHICAGO (4-5): And another thing about Jay Cutler: He is 21-25 as a starter and has never led a team to the playoffs. Tell me again why there was an uproar when Denver wanted to dump him? The Bears have dropped four of their last five, and their only win in the stretch came over Cleveland, which almost doesn’t count.
13. (13.) ST. LOUIS (1-7): The Rams had a week off to celebrate their first win before facing the Saints. Two words come to mind: last supper.
14. (14.) WASHINGTON (2-6): I’m still trying to figure out how the NFL deemed DeAngelo Hall not worthy of a fine when he was the one who incited the sideline rumble with the Falcons. Oh well. As a reward, he gets to cover Brandon Marshall this week.
15. (16.) TAMPA BAY (1-7): The Buccaneers’ 11-game losing streak (going back to last season) ended last week, and all it took was for them to wear those dreadful orange creamsicle uniforms. Actually, the Bucs may have found some hope for the future in rookie quarterback Josh Freeman, who three touchdown passes against Green Bay. If he beats Miami Sunday, Tampa Bay will have only one less win than the Dolphins, and won’t that make Bill Parcells happy.
16. (15.) DETROIT (1-7): We have a new team at the bottom. I Googled “Detroit Lions Cheerleaders” to commemorate this occasion, but I came to realize there are no Detroit Lions cheerleaders. Why? Because owner William Clay Ford is into that wholesome, family atmosphere thing. You know what? They can win nine straight and I’m still putting them last