Countdown: Eye-gouges, bats, Uga VII and a contest

His eyes are clear. And he's watching you.

The Count's eyes are clear.

The Count would have been here earlier but he’s a little sleepy from staying up watching the Falcons’ game last night and enjoying the Yankees go down like the gluttonous pigs that they are. He’s also a little down, still mourning the loss of his Mini Me (see item No. 5). But The Count knows it could be worse. He’s got his health. And his eyes. We count down . . .

10. Abdullah The Butcher, Revisited

This goes out to all of the overly sensitive Florida fans who’ve been defending Brandon Spikes for attempting to rip out the eyeballs of Washaun Ealey, particularly those who claim it was just payback for all of the injustices Georgia players did to the

Don't worry, this was all pretend. I think.

Don't worry, this was all pretend. I think.

Gators earlier in the game. Folks. I’ve seen every picture and video you’ve sent me. Some were penalties. Some were not. None could be deemed equal to an act so egregious that it was banned by ultimate fighting and MMA leagues, some of whom still allow chainsaws, I think. I even looked up eye-gouging in Wikipedia. Under the heading, Judicial Punishment, it reads: “According to Human Rights Watch, Iran and Saudi Arabia are the only countries that consider eye-gouging to be a legitimate judicial punishment.” So if you’re looking for defenders, I’ve  narrowed it down for you.

9. Final Chapter (Part II)

Look, I’m sure Brandon Spikes is not an evil person. He did eventually issue an apology Monday, and maybe he even meant it more than  Urban Meyer, who balked at doing anything even after his

Just some brotherly love among the Howards.

Just some brotherly love among the Howards.

wife and his defensive coordinator brought the video to his attention. (In the end, we’re still not sure what suspending a player for half the Vanderbilt game qualifies as.) But I guess we can move on now. One day, maybe we can all get along. Look at the Three Stooges. They brought us the eye-poke, the precursor to the eye-gouge, and they were brothers. No bond could break them.

8. Falcons fans: Do the math

The Falcons are 4-3. I looked back through the media guide. (I know. Actual research. Momentary lapse.) Turns out they’ve been 4-3 several times in their history. Sometimes they missed the playoffs. Sometimes they didn’t. But here’s what you probably want to cling to. In 1980, they finished 12-4 and won the NFC West. In 2002, they finished 9-6-1 and won a wild-card game in Green Bay. And then there’s last season: Started 4-3, ended 11-5. In the next four weeks, the Falcons play Washington (2-5), Carolina (3-4), the New York Giants (5-3) and Tampa Bay (0-7). They should go 3-1. Do that and they’ll be 7-4 going into the final five games (Philadelphia, New Orleans rematch, N.Y. Jets, Buffalo, Tampa Bay). I like their chances. That’s assuming Matt Ryan recovers from the eye-gouging he must have suffered Monday night, because that’s the only explanation for throwing that pass to Jabari Greer.

7. CONTEST TIME! Calling all bloggers!

Over the past few months, I’ve had several bloggers email, Tweet or comment that they would like me to add them to my blogroll. It’s not that I’m opposed to this. It’s just that not one of you has even stopped to think: “Hmmm. Maybe an envelope full of cash might help my chances.” Didn’t any of you go to business school? Well, probably not or you wouldn’t be writing a sports blog. But I’ll tell you what. I’m in a generous mood. Besides, I need to new bloggers to steal from. So read on.

That's me in the upper right-hand corner, looking dignified.

That's me in the upper right-hand corner, looking dignified.

6.Show me what you’ve got!

First, the good news: It’s not required that you live in your mother’s basement. That’s just a bonus. Send me a link to your blog. I’m reachable via email (jschultz@ajc.com), Twitter (@JeffSchultzAJC), Facebook (JeffSchultzAJC) or commenting below. My plan is to add up to THREE NEW BLOGS to my Blogroll. Are you smart? Opinionated? Funny? Entertaining? Do you have a good brisket recipe? Are you just looking to fake it like me until Mega Millions hits? (Well stop, because that’s my plan.) This is your chance! Being added to my Blogroll could mean a huge spike in page views for you. You might even be able to sell an ad! And if you do, can you pass their number along to us? I’ll probably keep this going for a couple of weeks, but send me your links now to get in line early.

5. Manu Ginobili is a man! (And PETA’s a bunch of idiots)

If you haven’t seen the above video yet, it rocks. It shows Manu Ginobili swatting a bat out of the air during a San Antonio-Sacramento game (on Halloween night, of course). Ginobili did what anybody would do. Anybody but PETA. Enter: brainless twits. Reaction from its website: “To bludgeon a 4-ounce animal to death, it takes either a small man or a totally unthinking one—with no respect or consideration for lives humbler than his own. This is a time when athletes in particular need to be on their best behavior around any animal and show that they have brains and a heart, not just reactionary brawn.” And, yes, PETA was making a veiled reference to Michael Vick. It even hyper-linked within that statement to theseVick-Nike blogs. These guys seriously need another hobby. (UPDATE: Ginobili has posted on his Facebook page: “Just wanted to give you guys an update on the bat situation. As many of you already know, it wasn’t a great idea. Not only for the fact that bats are great part of the ecosystem, but also, because some carry rabies, which is an incurable disease. That’s why I had to get vaccinated today (and it wasn’t just one shot!).”

4. Citius, Altius, Moronicus

This is Greek hurdler Fani Halkia, breaking the land speed during the torch run.

Here's Fani Halkia, breaking one of Usain Bolt's records.

With a declining economy, declining interest and the occasional corruption scandal, the Olympic movement is having enough problems. So who’s idea was it to start a torch with an athlete banned for steroids? What finally tipped them off — when Greece hurdler’ Fani Halkia broke the land-speed record? Halkia tested positive for steroids in Beijing and was banned for two years. But Greek officials picked her for the torch run, which runs from Athens to Vancouver for the winter Olympics. The IOC called it a “regrettable mistake.” Greek officials called it an “oversight.” This should help sell sponsorships.

3. Oh no, not another golf steroid scandal!

Sticking with juicers  for one more item. Golf has escaped drug scandals until now. (Actually, a couple of ‘roid rages would do the tour good.) Doug Barron just became the first golfer to get suspended for performance-enhancing drugs.

Is it just me or does Barron look like he doesn't cheat?

Does Barron look like a cheater to you?

There’s a chance he tested positive for a medication he was taking. Barron said in a statement, “I want my fellow tour members and the fans to know that I did not intend to gain an unfair competitive advantage …” Yeah, well, that’s kind of obvious. He only made five out of 17 cuts on the Nationwide Tour last year.

And look at the picture.

2. Uga VII: Is this ‘Loran’s Best’ best?

Mark Richt is catching heat. Willie Martinez may be fired or demoted after the season, if he’s not abducted before. Quarterback Joe Cox required a vote of confidence this week from his head coach. I have a question: How come nobody is getting on Uga?

1. You’re slow out of the gate, Bowser

There is good news. Uga is not wearing a black jersey.

There is good news. Uga is not wearing a black jersey.

Seriously, this is Uga VII’s second season, and frankly he’s been all hype. Just like another Mark Richt “5-star” recruit. OK, here’s the breakdown.

♦ Uga I won a national title.

♦ Uga II won two SEC titles.

♦ UGA III won a national championship AND two SEC titles.

♦ Uga IV won two SEC titles.

♦ OK, Uga V didn’t win anything. But he was on the cover of Sports Illustrated and lunged at Auburn receiver Robert Baker in that priceless video clip.

♦ Uga VI won two SEC titles and two Sugar Bowls.

That brings us to Uga VII (”Loran’s Best.”) Since coming aboard last season, he has been smoked twice by Florida, lost at home to Georgia Tech, was humiliated by Alabama and is only 10-6 in the SEC. Dude, wipe that smile off your face. You can be replaced.

NEED TO CATCH UP ON PAST COUNTDOWNS? THEY’RE ON DEMAND HERE.

160 comments Add your comment

Barry from Eastenders

November 3rd, 2009
8:39 am

layoff the mutt

November 3rd, 2009
8:39 am

as Triumph would say…. “I print this blog daily…… for me to POOP on!!”

CMR Wins the 2009 George Hamilton Cocoa Butter Open

November 3rd, 2009
8:41 am

1st? No way.

Jim Rockford

November 3rd, 2009
8:42 am

NOBODY was a better eye-gouger than Baron von Raschke

Jim Rockford

November 3rd, 2009
8:45 am

Did anyone else notice Chipper and his wife in the crowd after Brandon James dropped that pass? It’s funny to see an athlete being a fan and reacting to a player’s mistake. He looked like fans at The Ted after one of Chipper’s 271 errors this year.

brewdawg

November 3rd, 2009
8:45 am

Can’t look at that picture of UGA without smiling, bad start or not. Jeff, have you joined those standing on the ledge of the Matt Ryan bandwagon? I noted in MB’s blog last night that I have been less than impressed with him this year, but geez, you’d think that he’d turned into Trent Dilfer all of a sudden. Defenses seem to have adjusted to Ryan. Now it’s his turn.

PDawg

November 3rd, 2009
8:51 am

I’m thinking but nuttin’s happenin….Curly and/or most UGA bloggers.

lefty fielder

November 3rd, 2009
8:51 am

no eye-gouging, no bat killing . . . how the hell am i supposed to celebrate new year’s eve?

Herschel Talker

November 3rd, 2009
8:53 am

Baron von Raschke was the man! The best claw ever!

falcon 71

November 3rd, 2009
8:54 am

UGA VII is a girl so there

Bob

November 3rd, 2009
8:55 am

Good lord. Not even Uga is spared from Schultz’s wrath. Next thing you know he’ll be taking shots at UGA’s janitorial staff.

Walbash O'hoolihan

November 3rd, 2009
8:57 am

that half a game penalty is a joke and so is Urban Meyer. This guy intentionally tried to hurt someone. He should suspended for at least two games and have the taste slapped out of his mouth. Or at least he should be punished more harshly than the coaches griping about the piss poor officiating. I think the SEC is the best conference there is but they seemed to have lost all common sense this year.

What??

November 3rd, 2009
9:03 am

To pin last night’s game on Matt Ryan seems a little ridiculous. The Saints are an excellent football team with a big home field advantage. They were after Ryan all night. The tipped ball that was picked off was a great individual effort by Vilma and not Ryan’s fault IMO. The difference in the game was that NO was more effective at picking up our blitz and making plays in the 1st half then we were at picking up theirs. I would say that there are two reasons for this: 1) our offensive line was not as good as theirs, and 2) they have more weapons surrounding their QB. Jenkins made a couple of big drops. Gonzalez and Roddy are both great, but Drew B. has all those big receivers and then Shockey. Just too many weapons to defend. I thought we had the right defensive strategy of coming after him but you better get to him if you do that or he is going to torch you.

Robert

November 3rd, 2009
9:05 am

I love Abdullah the Butcher !

Paul H

November 3rd, 2009
9:05 am

What’s sad (and expected) as that Urban Cryer wasn’t even going to do anything about it. What’s even more sad (and VERY expected) is that Florida fans keep trying to justify it. No class in that entire program or fan base. Period.

PMC

November 3rd, 2009
9:11 am

It’s funny to me the IOC gets thier feathers ruffled over rule breaking. They may well be the worlds most corrupt sporting organization. (and that’s saying something when you consider Italian Soccer)

calvin

November 3rd, 2009
9:11 am

What was that ‘national title’ that Uga I
supposedly won?

SimpleDawg

November 3rd, 2009
9:11 am

Brandon Spikes is just what he appears to be….a shameless thug.

Urbane “Crier” Meyer is just what he appears to be….a smug, arrogant douche bag, whose only interested in what is best for him personally.

The Falcons are what they appear to be….an average NFL team who has a second year QB who suddenly has a new bicycle (#88), and all he wants to do is ride it everywhere he goes.

The beloved Bulldogs are what they appear to be….a very average SEC team with no discipline, a couple of very good players, a bunch of very average players, a nice guy as coach, and a really disillusioned fan base.

As for GIT? Apparently, a very good football team, but who cares?

Swamp Hawk

November 3rd, 2009
9:13 am

Nick Williams should be suspended for 1 game for the cheap shot on Tebow. It was after the play and could have been a serious injury. Will Mark Richt suspend him? (hint–no, he coaches like he did at fsu—hit after the whistle)–that’s why there’s no discipline on the uga team and why they keep losing big games!!!!

truth

November 3rd, 2009
9:13 am

GT BCS Champs

SimpleDawg

November 3rd, 2009
9:14 am

Oops, that’s who’s, not whose. StupidDawg.

real men play futbol at florida

November 3rd, 2009
9:14 am

Make eye gouging legal!

Dawgs are sissies.

Blindog

November 3rd, 2009
9:15 am

Well said SIMPLEDAWG, keeping it simple.

longtimesecfan

November 3rd, 2009
9:16 am

dawg cheers:
sept 1: hello atlanta
oct 1: goodby atlanta hello orlando
nov 1: goodby orlando hello sheveport
dec 1: goodby shreveport wait til next year

Spikes would be in jail

November 3rd, 2009
9:20 am

Slive is a coward who is a smoke blower with urban. Urban made the decision and Slive rubber stamped it. What a joke? Slime has lost all creditibility with fans. 30 minute suspension for a violent act … get real. Spikes will end up in the slammer before his career is over. Look at him … can you say “street thug”. If he’s the image of FLA’s program … I don’t want to win that bad. College atheletics as a whole are beginning to make me sick. I think the greed, power, win at any cost, thugs instead of athletes ….has killed the pleasure of what we used to have. Someone else can have my seat at Sanford and someone else can write my check for $5,000 to the athletic association …. I’m through …. I’m done …. it’s over. Goodbye good old days of Dooley and Hershel and Stanfill and Scott and Trippi and Sandwich …. bunch of ego chashers acting like criminals in an arena that don’t care if you win.

myer's wife

November 3rd, 2009
9:21 am

real men play futbol at florida

Sarah

November 3rd, 2009
9:26 am

Enjoyed this one, Jeff. Great way to start the workday.

Orange & Blue

November 3rd, 2009
9:29 am

Someone’s math is messed up!! UGA with two national titles???? Are you kidding me or what. Officially they have only one in 1980…but hey my grandma gave me a trophy for being her favorite grandson too. And I count that as a very nice award.

Here’s to grandma National Championships!!!! BTW…wouldn’t that mean everyone wins the NC each year or does the grandmothers for UGA players just not care for over 99 of every 100 years?

LAdawg

November 3rd, 2009
9:29 am

Please don’t suggest CWM being demoted I assume back to secondary coach. The secondary in general and the corner backs in particular were the weak link in the defense even during the BVG years! Firing him is the only way to resolve our defenses problems.

dgroy

November 3rd, 2009
9:30 am

Hey “Spikes would be in jail”…….I’ll give you three guesses as to why college football is like it is today and the first two don’t count.

Piso Mojado

November 3rd, 2009
9:31 am

One more thing about Uga VII that really gets my things in a wad – he has a higher IQ than half of the players on the Dawgs’ offensive and defensive lines.

Gator Bob

November 3rd, 2009
9:33 am

Hey all – Just want to say again – many of us Gators think Spikes needs to have a multigame suspension. I know we lover to HATE each other – which makes the game great fun – but no excuses for Spikes. Glad Ealey is OK.

Beyond that – UGA looking at 6-6 this year – probably 6-6 next year as transistion to new QB. Best changes Richt could make is to get Brian Van Gorder back as DC – but this will not happen. Probably go after Kirby Smart as his apprentice time with SABAN will pay dividends.

I personally think Tennessee is the team that FLORIDA willhave to deal with. UGA is our VANDY. HOW MANY WINS IN THE LAST 20 GAMES?

The difference between the staffs and programs is night and day.

GO GATORS!!!

FireUga7.net

November 3rd, 2009
9:34 am

Glad to see you jumping on the bandwagon, Jeff! You forgot to mention that 7 seems lazy and naps during games! Totally unacceptable!

The Dawgs need a mascot with energy and passion and who knows what’s going on during games! (We need that in a coaching staff too, but that’s another post.)

Ironic

November 3rd, 2009
9:35 am

Isn’t it ironic that UF quit playing Miami in the late 80’s after a loss and claimed it was due to Miami’s dirty play on the field…. Well, they had a point then. Miami was a team full criminals and showed little sportsmanship with their win at all costs attitude… Now 20 years later everything has reversed and its UF that is behaving just as Miami did.

Its also ironic that Meyer talked about how bad UGA’s celebration was in his book, yet now he hands down insignificant punishments for severe crimes.

North Avenue Trade School Songster

November 3rd, 2009
9:36 am

UGA Fans (after LSU): “The refs don’t like us, it ain’t fair”

UGA Fans (after Tennessee): “It’s a road game for us, it ain’t fair”

UGA Fans (after Vandy): “We won – let’s dance!”

UGA Fans (after Florida): “They are eye gougers, it ain’t fair”

UGA COACHES (after Falcons loss): “Thank GOD the Falcons lost, let’s blog about how much we miss MV7 and take the focus off of us”

Rodster

November 3rd, 2009
9:36 am

longtimesecfan

November 3rd, 2009
9:16 am
dawg cheers:
sept 1: hello atlanta
oct 1: goodby atlanta hello orlando
nov 1: goodby orlando hello sheveport
dec 1: goodby shreveport wait til next year

No, wait, Dec 1 is : “Hello Boise!”

Rodster

November 3rd, 2009
9:38 am

Send UGA and Nebraska to play in the Humanitarian Bowl in Boise! UGA VII will freeze his numchuks off.

La Jolla Dawg

November 3rd, 2009
9:38 am

I think the problem with Uga VII is that he is way too much of a pretty boy. He looks like a panda, not a bulldog. He’s the Zac Efron of the Uga line. You can’t win championships with Zac Efron.

NCGatorFan

November 3rd, 2009
9:39 am

UGA is the best mascot and the SEC is the best conference!

As a Gator fan I too think what Spikes did was appalling and that he should be forced to sit out a game. I am also a realist so understand after playing football and rugby for years that WE ALL know gouging happens on ALL teams…unlike the news stories who make it sound like an isolated event only happening on the Gators. I am not condoning the act in any way, just adding clarity to the discussion that is full of emotion.

cattle dawg

November 3rd, 2009
9:40 am

I just want to know why Sanford stadium doesnt have funnel cakes? The team stinks , at least the food could get better. The hot dogs are only thing worth eating.

gdawginkalamazoo

November 3rd, 2009
9:43 am

Jeff, We all know how players love the nicknames. How about calling Brandon Spikes, PokeMon? He likes to poke eyes and he has the dreadlocks.

POKEMON SPIKES. What a puss.

Johnny DangerDawg

November 3rd, 2009
9:43 am

Uga VII seems to be a lot less animated than his predecessor. I’m not sure if he has an aversion to heat or crowd noise, but he spends more time inside his little house than previous Uga’s. His dad was a man of the people and wanted to bask in the roar of the crowd. Does anybody remember the Uga-cam? If they strapped that thing on Uga VII’s head, all we’d see is a red wall.

Jeff Schultz

November 3rd, 2009
9:48 am

Orange and Blue — you don’t count 1942?

Jeff Schultz

November 3rd, 2009
9:48 am

Thanks Sarah.

Jeff Schultz

November 3rd, 2009
9:49 am

Spikes would be… I don’t know if I agree that Spikes will end up in jail one day, but I agree that Slive was Mr. See No Evil, Hear No Evil on this decision.

SadDawg

November 3rd, 2009
9:51 am

Fellow Dawg fans, please, please, let’s get over the eye-gouging incident. The guy got punished, said he is sorry, and it’s over with. If you feel the need to whine, let’s whine about the state of our program. I’m worried. Richt’s not. If being ranked from 80th to 120th (out of 120 teams) in every NCAA statistical category doesn’t worry him, what will?

Jeff Schultz

November 3rd, 2009
9:52 am

Everybody — Is is possible we can get through a day without any more use of the “thug” word? I realize it’s in the dictionary and it has a different meaning for everybody. But obviously many believe there’s a racial component there, and I’d rather just avoid another blazing inferno, if that’s possible. Thanks.

Jeff Schultz

November 3rd, 2009
9:54 am

Calvin — Georgia was consensus national champs in 1942. Finished season 11-1 and finished No. 1 in six polls that were recognized at the time.

rlinaug

November 3rd, 2009
9:54 am

I saw Brandon Spikes play his reggae act at the Rockfish Palace in Athens back in 1989. Back then he was known as Burning Spear. He sure has aged and has grown surly.

Jeff Schultz

November 3rd, 2009
9:55 am

Robert — Abdullah rocked. If he knew had to merchandise, he would’ve really opened up a butcher shop.