Predictions: I see dead people (also Dogs and Falcons)
Halloween’s roots can be traced back 2,000 years ago, when the Celts commemorated the end of their harvest, and it was cold and dark and the skies were filled with evil spirits and the tattered remains of a Willie Martinez game plan following another Georgia-Florida game.
Later, of course, came the pumpkins, the parties, the costumes — especially Naughty Nurses, Naughty Teachers and Naughty ESPN Intern — the debate over which candy rules (Snickers or Reese’s), dentists, sugar rushes, psychotic teenage pranks, scotch, especially scotch, and the Seven Deadly Sins: Lust, Gluttony, Sloth, Greed, Wrath, Ray Goff and the Deluded Bulldogs Fan who believe they actually have a shot Saturday.
Willie Martinez goes over the Florida game plan.
The Dogs are in Jacksonville. Fortunately, none of the players drove. There was another arrest this week, this time an offensive linemen, Vince Vance, who ran a red light, was driving without a license and of course missed a block.
Georgia believes it has a chance. Why? Because it’s coming off a win over Vanderbilt? Even Army didn’t get cocky after beating Vandy, and in fact lost its next two games to Temple and Rutgers.
Florida hasn’t been great. But it has won 17 straight since last season. Also, there’s that No. 1 thing. Great’s kinda relative, don’t you think? The line is 15 1/2. Big number. I’m not spooked. Gators cover.
Is This Going To Be On The Test?
Tech at Vandy: The Jackets’ next three games come against Vanderbilt (2-6), Wake Forest (4-4) and Duke (4-3). This would be a good time for everybody to go make a sandwich and come back when they’re 10-1 Georgia week. The Commodores went through a respectable period. It passed. Jackets cover 12.
South Carolina at Tennessee: Steve Spurrier used to save his best jabs for the Tennessee game (”You can’t spell Citrus [Bowl] without the U-T.”) But when the media tried to get him to bite (again) about Lane Kiffin, he responded, “That’s for all you media people to comment on.” Sad. I feel like the Chief when he found Randall P. McMurphy after the lobotomy. Take the Roosters and 5 1/2. And in an upset.
Steve Spurrier was more fun when he wore orange.
States of Confusion: Tom O’Brien is 7-12 in ACC games at N.C. State. He left Boston College why again? Oh that’s right. Matt Ryan was running out of eligibility. Florida State wins but take the Wolfpack and 9.
Mississippi at Auburn: The Tigers got off to a 5-0 start and suddenly everybody ran out Gene Chizik jokes. Three losses later and 96 opponent points later, Bobby Lowder is plotting another overthrow. Rebs cover 3 1/2.
Pros And Ex-Cons
Falcons at Saints: The problem isn’t just that Matt Ryan has looked ordinary the last two weeks, or that Michael Turner has looked ordinary all season. The problem is that what the Saints do best (pass) exposes what the Falcons can’t do at all (stop the pass). The Birds will be fine — until Drew Brees gets out of his car. Saints cover 10.
Favre Meets the Exes: The Green Bay mayor solicited some fine ideas for Brett Favre’s return, including declaring “Flip-Flip Friday” and hosting a pep rally where fans will be served waffle fries. If Favre’s performance last week in Pittsburgh is the start of a trend, the city also can schedule Meltdown Monday. The Steelers turned two Favre turnovers into TDs. Cheese covers 3.
Raiders at Chargers: The most popular costumes this Halloween are both corpses: Al Davis and JaMarcus Russell. Chargers win but take Oakland and 16 1/2.
Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers in phony warm embrace.
Seahawks at Cowboys: Big meeting between Wade Phillips, the son of a coach, and Jim Mora, the son of a coach (you thought I wasn’t going to write, “coach,” didn’t you?). Bum Phillips vs. Jim Mora Sr. would’ve been better theater. And better football. Still not convinced Dallas is great. But not even sure Seattle is among the living. ‘Boys win but don’t cover 9 1/2.
Giants at Eagles: In the last two weeks, the Giants’ defense saw the Saints and Cardinals combine for 72 points, and Drew Brees and Kurt Warner throw for 600 yards and five touchdowns. Wonder if the Eagles are confident enough to let Michael Vick throw a pass? Sorry. Can’t see New York losing three straight. Take the gift point and a Giants win.
Browns at Bears: The Browns are so bad that Cleveland fans are trying to organize a protest, asking everybody to walk in late for a Nov. 16 game against Baltimore. They’ve considered not walking in at all. But they’re afraid the hand of Art Modell will punch through the dirt on the 50-yard line and and move the team again, this time to his current residence in Netherland. Chicago wins, but won’t cover the 13.
Financial Ledger
Last week: 8-3 straight up, 5-6 against the line.
Totals: 58-28 straight up, 41-45 against the line.
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322 comments Add your comment
TradeMark
October 30th, 2009
10:08 am
Jeff, I luv ya man, and I’ve siad it before…consider therapy. I mean, you’re depressing me. Remember, in Atlanta’s infantile new look last year, they outscored (the even then #1 offense Saints) 59-49 in two games last year. Yes, they lost one. By four points. LATE in the season when Brees was in a groove from hell just like he is now. This game IS FALCONS/ SAINTS. Throw the stat crap out of the window. If anyone thinks the Saints are going to roll here and aren’t in for a war (including them) they are in for a BIG damned surprise. And hopefully a reality check in the form of throwing that undefeated season crap in the gutters of Bourbon Street with the rest of the crap that floats there. We’ll see.
ATLG8R
October 30th, 2009
10:09 am
Love these Dawg fans… Delusional as usual. Delusional must be a degree at UGA because so many of your students/fans have succumbed to it. The veil of reality will lift on Saturday… we’re #1 for a reason, and the Dawgs… well, they’re not even in the top 25. GATORS WIN!!! … BIG!
dawggrad05
October 30th, 2009
10:09 am
In JAcksonville currently. SO far advantage Florida girls at this hotel. I hope uga girls start getting here. Oh yea the game, I love my dawgs as much as the next delusional fan, but with our Defense, and our offense, we need divine intervention not to lose by 70
TradeMark
October 30th, 2009
10:10 am
Apologize for the double post..it’s the AJC’s fault…too slow…. LOL
Keith Brooking
October 30th, 2009
10:10 am
I just wont 2 applegize 2 all my altanta fans 4 my antiks last weakend. Im nuttin but a ignorant, uneducated, wife cheating, inbred hick jacka$$. My Tech colors was 2 hard 2 conseal 4ever. Hope ya’ll can 4give mee.
Luv,
Keith
Fat Little Dawgirls
October 30th, 2009
10:14 am
lots of tickets being offered for sale in the Ugag section of JAX…. hmmmm. me thinks the neutered dawg fans know not to waste their time! don’t worry though well fill the seats with blue and orange fans. Gators Rule!!
Brooking 56
October 30th, 2009
10:14 am
“The biggest thing is don’t turn the football over,” Ryan said. “Anytime you turn the football over in this league, it’s tough to come back and win the football game. That’s my focus this week, to be better with the football, but at the same time you can’t lose that aggressiveness.”
Yeah, You have to be willing to throw them dangerous 5 yard passes that you’re famous for. Be aggressive!
Name (required)
October 30th, 2009
10:18 am
Has “Coach” Richt made sure Joe Sux knows to throw to the red jerseys and not the blue ones?
Trailer Park Diva
October 30th, 2009
10:39 am
Go Gators! I can’t wait to be partying wooooieeee! with my fellow Gator girls tomorrow night after we beat the Dawgs. We’ll get together a compare our latest tattoos and waaahoooie get nekkid and dance for all the guys! Go Gators!
PS. there ain’t nuthin finer than a well built Gator guy in a tank top with a thick hairy chest, several tattoos and a Camaro! Waaaaaahhoie!! Go Gators!!!
zeplan
October 30th, 2009
10:41 am
Once ND fires Weis and throws the kitchen sink at Meyer, he’ll be bye-bye from Gainesville. Think about it, he’ll no longer have his college crush QB and will realize he can’t win in the SEC without him. Just a matter of time.
Brooking 56
October 30th, 2009
10:44 am
I like to talk about being aggressive but you’ll never catch me doing it myself! I always let someone else hit the ball carrier first then I jump in and act like I did it!
Gator Chick
October 30th, 2009
10:48 am
I just found out what a Brazil Wax is. Yuk, why would anyone want to get rid of all that thick sexy hair?
Gator Boy I Am!!!
October 30th, 2009
10:51 am
Can’t wait to get off my loading dock shift today!!! I got my tips freshly frosted last night by my sister, got me some sweet new blue and orange turtlenecks from Pennies last weekend and I’ve polished my platinum hoop earrings and necklaces!!! I’m ready to party!!!
I SAID IT’S GREAT….TO BE…A FLORIDA GATOR!!! i SAID IT’S GREAT…TO BE…A FLORIDA GATOR!!!!
Sexy Gator Chicka
October 30th, 2009
10:53 am
there is nothing hotter than a sexy boy wearing a turtle neck with his bada$$ gold chains around it. talk about hotties!!!!!
Calhoun Steve
October 30th, 2009
10:54 am
Have you ever noticed that Gator fans are the only college fans that think wearing jerseys is cool?
Go Jackets
October 30th, 2009
10:56 am
As you can tell by the TV interviews of our football players we’ve really relaxed the academic requirements on our football players and now we are winning big time! Go Jackets!
Soon to be Gator grad
October 30th, 2009
10:58 am
Someday I’ll own my own doublewide! Go Gators!
Clay
October 30th, 2009
10:59 am
Ole Jeff is laying low on the politics right now, nervously awaiting a summons to court for the slanderous quotes he attributed (in print) without verifying sources regarding a certain radio personality. Shouldn’t have trusted those left-wing web sites, huh, Jeff?
MiKaEl JoHnS0n
October 30th, 2009
11:01 am
HaY g0 JacKeTz, sHuT y0 fAce!!!! I bEe A prOoD GoErGiA tEk UnIvaRsITy GrAd. Fo0L!!!!
What's wrong with Fascism?
October 30th, 2009
11:02 am
Clay,
I do hope Rush sues the pants off every lying, POS slanderous kook out there. Unfortunately for our dear friend Mr. Shultz, this most definitely includes him.
Academics at the U. of Florida
October 30th, 2009
11:04 am
Academics at UF are so bad that if you have a tattoo of a Gator on your butt you’re considered an alumni.
Dean of UF admissions
October 30th, 2009
11:07 am
We take pride in knowing all of our fine student athletes can properly clean, disassemble and reassemble any firearm on the black market.
Nolerick
October 30th, 2009
11:08 am
Heres hoping the Dawgs pull the upset!
Urban Meyer
October 30th, 2009
11:09 am
All you smarta$$es think you’re so d*mn funny, don’t you!?!?!?! Just because a young child makes a mistake and accidentially kills a few folks doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve a second, third or fourth chance!!!!! What about all those criminals you have on your program that can’t drive straight?!?!!? Where’s the difference!?!?!?
Disappointed Jacket
October 30th, 2009
11:11 am
As district manager of the Waffle House I’m not able to make it to the Vandy game this weekend. Those of you that are please cheer extra hard for me. THWG!!!!!!!
Mike Slive
October 30th, 2009
11:14 am
I find it completely distasteful to read the unabridged jealously foisted upon the Florida Gators, the #1 team in the country, by the Georgia Bulldog fans. Is there no decency in your school? From the posts I’m reading here, I’m thinking that these aren’t current students or treasured Alumni, but sniveling, uneducated, stupid, fat, bald, Chewbacca looking wife marrying, sister molesting, brother kissing, retarded loooooossssssers! Get together and share a hand grenade please, so we can cleanup the conference and get back some credibility.
Thogwummpy
October 30th, 2009
11:20 am
Again, if UGA holds Florida under a hundred points, cowardly no-blitz Martinez will declare it a moral victory…and sadly, probably keep his job.
What you don't find at Georgia Tech...
October 30th, 2009
11:23 am
…a football player that takes his own tests!
Speed Racer
October 30th, 2009
11:23 am
Why is everyone overlooking field goals? If UGA can get to the Gator 30 seven times Walsh can kick us 21 points. Add to that 7 points from an AJ Green TD, because he is too good to not get at least one TD, and we have 28. More than enough to beat the Gators this year. GOOOO DAWGS!
Clay
October 30th, 2009
11:25 am
Oh it’s coming “What’s Wrong”. The networks are falling all over themselves to say, “I’m Sorry”, but he isn’t going to laugh it off this time. He said the other say, “be patient, it just takes a little time for something like this….” Of course, it will be a badge of honor here at the AJC. Ole Jeff will probably get a medal for being included. I’ll bet Cynthia Tucker is getting quite chummy with him now…
Arrests...
October 30th, 2009
11:25 am
Florida Gator players get arrested for felonies while UGA players get arrested for traffic misdemeanors! That’s just the truth….deal with it!
PS. GA Tech athletes DOA on hard drugs and rape coeds!
Fla. G
October 30th, 2009
11:26 am
There are a lot of Tim Tebow haters out there. Remember he’s playing in front of a hometown crowd. Tomorrow should be a Big day for Tim…..GO GATORS.
NCAA probation & GA Tech
October 30th, 2009
11:28 am
Georgia Tech changed the grades of 11 starters in football in order for them to be eligible to play in 1998 through 2000. The result was the NCAA probation for academic cheating that Georgia Tech just recently came off of.
The truth slaps you in the face!
Mark Richt
October 30th, 2009
11:34 am
I’ll show you, Obama. No points means no tax! Take that!! Haha!!!
yellowjacket82
October 30th, 2009
11:37 am
UF wins 38-10. tech rolls 44-14. Life is good. THWG!!!
Matt "Choke" Ryan
October 30th, 2009
11:39 am
Dear Arthur:
The “New Face” of the franchise project has been exposed and has failed.
You bought into the “non-paying” crazies and let the “True Franchise” player slip through your fingers because you thought this “CHOKE” could replace the Atlanta legend.
Give me a break. I have heard all of the complaints:
He is too short
He doesn’t read defenses
He is not intelligent
He is not a traditional quarterback (hidden code for…)
Well the “CHOKE” really has been reading the defense very well the past two games, with his amazing 68 & 66 QB RATINGS.
You have spent 72-million dollars just to be embarrassed, I thought you were a business man – Joey Harrington could have embarrassed the City for 2-million tops.
In 2002 this franchise was pulled from the ashes and place on the map. There was actually a waiting list for season ticket holders – after this game the only tickets you will be selling will be the blue light specials at Home Depot.
There has only been 2 playoff wins in this whole decade, which expires after this season and they are both by an unintelligent guy who can’t read a defense and is too short.
So this logic seemed to work better than the one being hosed up by the more qualified quarterback – qualified only in the eyes of the crowd that shares the same demographic.
The bottom line is he is the same LOSER that he was at Boston College, choking & being Virginia Tech’s BIATCH.
Kendawg
October 30th, 2009
11:40 am
The refs will ensure that Florida wins Saturday, just like against Arkansas.
Um Pire
October 30th, 2009
11:49 am
Kendawg – why don’t you call up Coach Richt and tell him not to show up. The refs could let the mutts line hold on every play and you still couldn’t win.
Frank Wren
October 30th, 2009
11:53 am
I hope not Kendawg.
Why is Tim Tebow allowed to jump around pump his fists and go crazy and not only is it not a penalty, the refs dont even come over and give him the old cut it out routine, but if a UGA player shows ANY emotion whatsoever its 15 yards and maybe 30. I dont get it
Bushwacker
October 30th, 2009
11:55 am
Sophomore slump????
Let’s see we are 4-2, and in a slump??
So even if we don’t play any better than while in this horrible slump, we finish with 10-12 wins, I’ll take that all day long!!!
Brooking 56
October 30th, 2009
11:55 am
Why?
G8R GRAD
October 30th, 2009
11:57 am
The Ol’ Ball Coach WAS more fun when he was at UF.
I not only need UF to beat the Dawgs this weekend, but I also need Kiffen’s Vols to beat Spurrier.
That happens:
UF is going to Atlanta!
GO GATORS!
crackbaby
October 30th, 2009
12:11 pm
Jeff – ROFLMAO. Great column.
crackbaby
October 30th, 2009
12:12 pm
GT to Vandy
Our JOHNSON is better than yours…
Lunchtime Links | MrSEC.com
October 30th, 2009
12:27 pm
[...] Journal-Constitution makes his weekend predictions right here.4. The AJC’s Jeff Schultz does the same here.5. Ron Morris of The State thanks folks need to take a timeout from ref-bashing in the SEC.6. [...]
Chea
October 30th, 2009
12:34 pm
Sadly Jeff, Vegas seems likely to take another loss on the Saints-Falcons line.
Bleeds Red and Black in Baxley
October 30th, 2009
2:12 pm
If none of the players drive to Jacksonville, the Dawgs may only lose by 40 points. Hopefully, another rout like last year will be enough for the powers-that-be to sack Richt, Martinez, and Bozo.
Brooking 56
October 30th, 2009
2:14 pm
Why would you say that?
Adele in Resaca
October 30th, 2009
2:20 pm
The Gators will win big in Jacksonville, it’s not worth watching on TV unless you’re a masochist (or a Gator of course). Say Gators by 30 points, more if Tebow shows his old form. Not much the Dawgs can do about it with the players they have and the lack of coaching.
Tennessee-South Carolina should be a dandy game. My hunch is to pick SC in a very close game, probably decided by a field goal.
Georgia Tech should win easily in Nashville, but it could be raining, and that might affect their offense. And Vandy’s defense isn’t that bad. So maybe a closer game than the line.
Bleeds Red and Black in Baxley
October 30th, 2009
2:22 pm
Uh, Brooking 56, when UGA players drive, they tend to get pulled over and arrested.