Predictions: I see dead people (also Dogs and Falcons)
Halloween’s roots can be traced back 2,000 years ago, when the Celts commemorated the end of their harvest, and it was cold and dark and the skies were filled with evil spirits and the tattered remains of a Willie Martinez game plan following another Georgia-Florida game.
Later, of course, came the pumpkins, the parties, the costumes — especially Naughty Nurses, Naughty Teachers and Naughty ESPN Intern — the debate over which candy rules (Snickers or Reese’s), dentists, sugar rushes, psychotic teenage pranks, scotch, especially scotch, and the Seven Deadly Sins: Lust, Gluttony, Sloth, Greed, Wrath, Ray Goff and the Deluded Bulldogs Fan who believe they actually have a shot Saturday.
Willie Martinez goes over the Florida game plan.
The Dogs are in Jacksonville. Fortunately, none of the players drove. There was another arrest this week, this time an offensive linemen, Vince Vance, who ran a red light, was driving without a license and of course missed a block.
Georgia believes it has a chance. Why? Because it’s coming off a win over Vanderbilt? Even Army didn’t get cocky after beating Vandy, and in fact lost its next two games to Temple and Rutgers.
Florida hasn’t been great. But it has won 17 straight since last season. Also, there’s that No. 1 thing. Great’s kinda relative, don’t you think? The line is 15 1/2. Big number. I’m not spooked. Gators cover.
Is This Going To Be On The Test?
Tech at Vandy: The Jackets’ next three games come against Vanderbilt (2-6), Wake Forest (4-4) and Duke (4-3). This would be a good time for everybody to go make a sandwich and come back when they’re 10-1 Georgia week. The Commodores went through a respectable period. It passed. Jackets cover 12.
South Carolina at Tennessee: Steve Spurrier used to save his best jabs for the Tennessee game (”You can’t spell Citrus [Bowl] without the U-T.”) But when the media tried to get him to bite (again) about Lane Kiffin, he responded, “That’s for all you media people to comment on.” Sad. I feel like the Chief when he found Randall P. McMurphy after the lobotomy. Take the Roosters and 5 1/2. And in an upset.
Steve Spurrier was more fun when he wore orange.
States of Confusion: Tom O’Brien is 7-12 in ACC games at N.C. State. He left Boston College why again? Oh that’s right. Matt Ryan was running out of eligibility. Florida State wins but take the Wolfpack and 9.
Mississippi at Auburn: The Tigers got off to a 5-0 start and suddenly everybody ran out Gene Chizik jokes. Three losses later and 96 opponent points later, Bobby Lowder is plotting another overthrow. Rebs cover 3 1/2.
Pros And Ex-Cons
Falcons at Saints: The problem isn’t just that Matt Ryan has looked ordinary the last two weeks, or that Michael Turner has looked ordinary all season. The problem is that what the Saints do best (pass) exposes what the Falcons can’t do at all (stop the pass). The Birds will be fine — until Drew Brees gets out of his car. Saints cover 10.
Favre Meets the Exes: The Green Bay mayor solicited some fine ideas for Brett Favre’s return, including declaring “Flip-Flip Friday” and hosting a pep rally where fans will be served waffle fries. If Favre’s performance last week in Pittsburgh is the start of a trend, the city also can schedule Meltdown Monday. The Steelers turned two Favre turnovers into TDs. Cheese covers 3.
Raiders at Chargers: The most popular costumes this Halloween are both corpses: Al Davis and JaMarcus Russell. Chargers win but take Oakland and 16 1/2.
Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers in phony warm embrace.
Seahawks at Cowboys: Big meeting between Wade Phillips, the son of a coach, and Jim Mora, the son of a coach (you thought I wasn’t going to write, “coach,” didn’t you?). Bum Phillips vs. Jim Mora Sr. would’ve been better theater. And better football. Still not convinced Dallas is great. But not even sure Seattle is among the living. ‘Boys win but don’t cover 9 1/2.
Giants at Eagles: In the last two weeks, the Giants’ defense saw the Saints and Cardinals combine for 72 points, and Drew Brees and Kurt Warner throw for 600 yards and five touchdowns. Wonder if the Eagles are confident enough to let Michael Vick throw a pass? Sorry. Can’t see New York losing three straight. Take the gift point and a Giants win.
Browns at Bears: The Browns are so bad that Cleveland fans are trying to organize a protest, asking everybody to walk in late for a Nov. 16 game against Baltimore. They’ve considered not walking in at all. But they’re afraid the hand of Art Modell will punch through the dirt on the 50-yard line and and move the team again, this time to his current residence in Netherland. Chicago wins, but won’t cover the 13.
Financial Ledger
Last week: 8-3 straight up, 5-6 against the line.
Totals: 58-28 straight up, 41-45 against the line.
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322 comments Add your comment
David Pollack
October 30th, 2009
12:02 am
I think I once sacked Rex Grossman. Then I danced around him. Don’t worry. I’m a Christian. I was dancing in the spirit.
Party City
October 30th, 2009
12:02 am
Brandon Spikes does’nt need a Halloween mask.
Joe Cox
October 30th, 2009
12:03 am
I should have gone to Furman. I would have won more games and my uniform would match my face.
Kirk Herbystreet
October 30th, 2009
12:05 am
Virginia Tech is the best one loss ( make that three ) loss team in the nation.
Logan Gray
October 30th, 2009
12:06 am
I’m your best shot. I’m not too bright, but I can run. I know I’m white. But I run like the wind. That’s what Recuiters.com said a few years ago, anyway.
Mike Bobo
October 30th, 2009
12:07 am
I want one of them triple option thingies. Can I, Mark?
Kirk Herbystreet
October 30th, 2009
12:07 am
I DONT SEE any team beating Virginia Tech the rest of the season, they are awesome.
Willie Martinez
October 30th, 2009
12:09 am
Has Crompton finished scoring yet? I can’t bear to look.
Gravy Train
October 30th, 2009
12:14 am
Tonights ESPN game further proves how no ACC team is in the BCS picture.
Some will say “How does this make Tech look bad?” Because Va. Tech is quickly proving that they are a nobody. That means Tech plays and beats a bunch of nobodies. UNC had not won a conference game prior to tonight. When Tech plays teams with actual talent they either get dusted or luck out a win. The shakanka is coming nerds, and you know it.
Aside: Is geek more PC than nerd? Don’t need people crying on their protractors and graph paper.
Vince Dooley
October 30th, 2009
12:15 am
I am pushing for a “South by Southeast Division” of the SEC, so that we might at least win some kind of championship now and then. If I can gerrymander the region, it should consist of us and Vanderbilt.
NMike MoonPie Wiilson
October 30th, 2009
12:17 am
You tell ‘em, Gravy Train. We dawgs don’t need no stinkin’ Pro Tractor. Our John Deere’s are good enough.
SEC ELITIST
October 30th, 2009
12:18 am
So what do you people think about our mighty Commodores and Gamecox and Wildcats?
stiggywiggy
October 30th, 2009
12:21 am
Brilliant, Gravy Train.Only knucklehead dawg logic would view a victory by Conference Team A over Conference team B as a slight upon the very conference in which both belong.
Anthony Allen
October 30th, 2009
12:26 am
Hey, dawgies. Lookin’ forward to meeting you. Bet you can’t catch me. I’ve heard a lot about you. Well, not till I got down here.
Anthony Allen
October 30th, 2009
12:27 am
Hey, dawgies. Lookin’ forward to meeting you. Bet you can’t catch me.
Kam Chancellor
October 30th, 2009
12:34 am
UNC BLOCKED ME TOO HARD LIKE GEORGIA TECH
Kam Chancellor
October 30th, 2009
12:35 am
BeamerBall stinks
mash a bug
October 30th, 2009
12:37 am
jeff, you must be looking in the mirror…
Voyager Probe
October 30th, 2009
12:38 am
I am looking for intelligence in the Universe. No need to start here. I hear they have some smart bloggers in the Alpha Centauri galaxy.
Elmo
October 30th, 2009
12:47 am
Damn it boy. The Al Davis Corpse Joke was A-1.
Going to go out on the limb and pick Auburn for the Upset special. Perfect timing . Auburn is dead and buried and is going to Rise. Halloween Upset special.
How you like your Cheezits ?
Jason
October 30th, 2009
1:47 am
I’d love if UGA and Tech switched schedules this year…what would the outcome be? Hmmm….Vandy, Duke, Wake Forest, Jacksonville State, Virginia…instead of OSU, LSU, UF, Auburn, etc…
When a team plays real competition, then you can get excited about a winning schedule.
GaCFB
October 30th, 2009
1:49 am
Watch out Florida, the upsets have already started: Virginia Tech fell
DirtyDawg
October 30th, 2009
2:35 am
I have no intention of predicting a Georgia victory this weekend, but if by some set of circumstances we do, then I can see it now. All the naysayers – fair-weather GA fans – will complain that Richt and company should have been doing it all along…the techies, gaytors, etc., will lay-low for a few days – God willing…but the real certainty is that Shultz will still have some smart-@$$ comment about Georgia.
The more I check folks out here – again, the fair-weatherers, our hated rivals, and the writers whose job it is to ‘get the fight started’ – the more I’m convinced that to a man they have never been, nor could never be, circumcised…because there’s no end to you pr**ks.
a goofy toothy dawg fan
October 30th, 2009
2:37 am
Who do we play this sardee? Flardy ? Oh $hit!
Scooter dawgs
October 30th, 2009
2:39 am
this just in……. Vince Vance just emerged from an alley on a moped!
ABBA DAWG
October 30th, 2009
2:43 am
WATERLOOOOOOO WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WILLIES WILLIES WATERLOOOOOOO ! 56 – - 13 Gators ROLLOLOOOOOOO
dagnabit
October 30th, 2009
5:44 am
RogerDawg is a stinking coward. Just like the whole bulldog nation.
dagnabit
October 30th, 2009
5:54 am
BTW. Does anybody at the AJC know that V.T. LOST TO NORTH CAROLINA LAST NIGHT. Downsizing’s a bitch. Ain’t it.
salty dawg
October 30th, 2009
6:11 am
the blogs must be a nightmare for an educated journalist. hopefully you get some kicks out of this truly bizarre phenomena– lets give the armchair quarterbacks a platform!… and from this armchair quaterback: my two bits are if the dogs need to rally around someone or something for some inspiration and play with some heart. they played their first complete game after the UT loss where they looked like they were playing with their tail between their legs. win or lose i would be happy as long as they play their asses off. it should be some indicator of how we work against a pounding inside option. finish the drill. tech has perfected their high school offense- they will win but it will be as boring to watch as a friday night game. at least im sure vandy will try to throw the ball around a bit. keep winnin jackets. the higher you are when we beat you the better. happy halloween. cheers to good college football on a saturday night!
Paddy
October 30th, 2009
6:37 am
Kam Chandler must have missed his film session this week at VPI! Smack talk only works when no one can hear you! Frank Beamer is a good guy and a great coach but he sure has a history of signing some half brain players over the years.
Paddy
October 30th, 2009
6:43 am
Vince Vance is 22 years old and only has his learners permit to drive? Have the lines at the DMV in Milledgeville been that long for the past 6 years?
George O'Leary
October 30th, 2009
7:11 am
I predict I am out of scotch by 11:00 a.m. Saturday
notbowleligible
October 30th, 2009
7:13 am
Goal Posts Down – what’s wrong with getting excited about your football team? Who is your team?
Island Jacket
October 30th, 2009
7:15 am
I’ll take the dogs and 15-1/2. Think they win straight up anyway! Why do so many of you Dawg fans bash your team. Too much talent there to think the Dawgs have no chance. This Jacket says GO DAWGS!
Mo Ped
October 30th, 2009
7:16 am
Dirty Dawg – get a life, man!
Joe Biden
October 30th, 2009
7:21 am
Jason – what else would you love to see? What does it mean when you play REAL competition and you LOSE? Let’s see, they played some good teams and got their buttts kicked. They are 4 and 8 but let’s give ‘em a good bowl game. Look up Sagarin. Tech’s schedule is ranked tougher than the fleabags.
uberVU - social comments
October 30th, 2009
7:31 am
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jeff Schultz: Weekend Predictions is up: And if you’re a #Falcons or #Bulldogs fan, don’t look. http://bit.ly/3yg2ei…
BeattieFeathers
October 30th, 2009
7:34 am
Typical crap from Sgt Schultz…..dumping on Tennessee again. What a tool….
SatchelBuzz
October 30th, 2009
7:37 am
We’re on a mission,……”Sene Metu”.
THWG!
Bank Walker, Texas Ranger
October 30th, 2009
7:45 am
Predictions, (1) the State goes 0-3 this weekend and (2) Matt Ryan never has a passer rating for a season as low as Michael Vicks best year in 2002 of 81.
Atticus
October 30th, 2009
8:02 am
I agree.
What makes anyone think a team that stinks will beat a team that doesn’t?
Charlie Strong to Virginia?
Dawg Days
October 30th, 2009
8:02 am
The Dawgs ain’t got nothing to lose. I say they go out there and just play their ever-loving a$$e$ off!!! I remember 2 years ago when they had the same problem…..
uuugh...
October 30th, 2009
8:05 am
Always a good read…Nice McMurphy pull Schultz. When it comes to the Dawgs covering…”I bet a nickel”
dan
October 30th, 2009
8:07 am
I think the most shocking stat for both teams are the turnover ratio: Florida is -1 and UGA is -11( which is worst in the SEC). Of all the stats that are damming of Willie’s defense, this one is the worst! Turnovers can significantly change the complection of a season. Florida was +22 in turnovers last year which is insane! I always felt the Gators had a very good team last year, but what made them great was the turnover margin. If you don’t turn the ball over to them, and if you force some turnovers yourself, the Gators are very beatable even with their talent on defense. So the question becomes: who’s more likely to capitalize on each others miscues? Florida has a better defense, but UGA is coming off a bye week, and I’d like to think that our players and coaches haven’t been standing around with their fingers up their asses all week( then again I never underestimate the total incompetence of our coaching staff). If UGA didn’t have a bye week, I’d pick Florida to cover easily. I still like Florida, but they win by 7-10.
Truth
October 30th, 2009
8:13 am
The Florida Gators are proof that winning does not breed class. Their fans are still the most uneducated obnoxious rednecks in the SEC! The Gators have a classless coach and it shows with their players!
Urban Meyer
October 30th, 2009
8:16 am
My Gators better win, hell they are the highest paid team in the NCAA!
Jim Rockford
October 30th, 2009
8:24 am
DawgDays- 2 years ago, Tebow was playing with a bum shoulder.
Eric
October 30th, 2009
8:30 am
Spooky wasn’t technically an Atlanta Rhythym Section selection. It was The Classics Five. Just sayin’.
MiltonDawg
October 30th, 2009
8:33 am
Should be a rough weekend for everyone here in ATL!! I’m picking Falcons in a upset, but disagree JS with Giants over Eagles- they’re looking pretty good. 12/6 matchup should be great!! I hope the Pack makes Favre look like Crap!!
Gator Bob
October 30th, 2009
8:33 am
Gators blow out the miserable pups. don’t they have a vet school at your lousy school? do your team a favor and put your team out of their misery before we get to them. it won’t be pretty folks. Gators chomp on dawg meat in JAX!