Predictions: I see dead people (also Dogs and Falcons)
Halloween’s roots can be traced back 2,000 years ago, when the Celts commemorated the end of their harvest, and it was cold and dark and the skies were filled with evil spirits and the tattered remains of a Willie Martinez game plan following another Georgia-Florida game.
Later, of course, came the pumpkins, the parties, the costumes — especially Naughty Nurses, Naughty Teachers and Naughty ESPN Intern — the debate over which candy rules (Snickers or Reese’s), dentists, sugar rushes, psychotic teenage pranks, scotch, especially scotch, and the Seven Deadly Sins: Lust, Gluttony, Sloth, Greed, Wrath, Ray Goff and the Deluded Bulldogs Fan who believe they actually have a shot Saturday.
Willie Martinez goes over the Florida game plan.
The Dogs are in Jacksonville. Fortunately, none of the players drove. There was another arrest this week, this time an offensive linemen, Vince Vance, who ran a red light, was driving without a license and of course missed a block.
Georgia believes it has a chance. Why? Because it’s coming off a win over Vanderbilt? Even Army didn’t get cocky after beating Vandy, and in fact lost its next two games to Temple and Rutgers.
Florida hasn’t been great. But it has won 17 straight since last season. Also, there’s that No. 1 thing. Great’s kinda relative, don’t you think? The line is 15 1/2. Big number. I’m not spooked. Gators cover.
Is This Going To Be On The Test?
Tech at Vandy: The Jackets’ next three games come against Vanderbilt (2-6), Wake Forest (4-4) and Duke (4-3). This would be a good time for everybody to go make a sandwich and come back when they’re 10-1 Georgia week. The Commodores went through a respectable period. It passed. Jackets cover 12.
South Carolina at Tennessee: Steve Spurrier used to save his best jabs for the Tennessee game (”You can’t spell Citrus [Bowl] without the U-T.”) But when the media tried to get him to bite (again) about Lane Kiffin, he responded, “That’s for all you media people to comment on.” Sad. I feel like the Chief when he found Randall P. McMurphy after the lobotomy. Take the Roosters and 5 1/2. And in an upset.
Steve Spurrier was more fun when he wore orange.
States of Confusion: Tom O’Brien is 7-12 in ACC games at N.C. State. He left Boston College why again? Oh that’s right. Matt Ryan was running out of eligibility. Florida State wins but take the Wolfpack and 9.
Mississippi at Auburn: The Tigers got off to a 5-0 start and suddenly everybody ran out Gene Chizik jokes. Three losses later and 96 opponent points later, Bobby Lowder is plotting another overthrow. Rebs cover 3 1/2.
Pros And Ex-Cons
Falcons at Saints: The problem isn’t just that Matt Ryan has looked ordinary the last two weeks, or that Michael Turner has looked ordinary all season. The problem is that what the Saints do best (pass) exposes what the Falcons can’t do at all (stop the pass). The Birds will be fine — until Drew Brees gets out of his car. Saints cover 10.
Favre Meets the Exes: The Green Bay mayor solicited some fine ideas for Brett Favre’s return, including declaring “Flip-Flip Friday” and hosting a pep rally where fans will be served waffle fries. If Favre’s performance last week in Pittsburgh is the start of a trend, the city also can schedule Meltdown Monday. The Steelers turned two Favre turnovers into TDs. Cheese covers 3.
Raiders at Chargers: The most popular costumes this Halloween are both corpses: Al Davis and JaMarcus Russell. Chargers win but take Oakland and 16 1/2.
Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers in phony warm embrace.
Seahawks at Cowboys: Big meeting between Wade Phillips, the son of a coach, and Jim Mora, the son of a coach (you thought I wasn’t going to write, “coach,” didn’t you?). Bum Phillips vs. Jim Mora Sr. would’ve been better theater. And better football. Still not convinced Dallas is great. But not even sure Seattle is among the living. ‘Boys win but don’t cover 9 1/2.
Giants at Eagles: In the last two weeks, the Giants’ defense saw the Saints and Cardinals combine for 72 points, and Drew Brees and Kurt Warner throw for 600 yards and five touchdowns. Wonder if the Eagles are confident enough to let Michael Vick throw a pass? Sorry. Can’t see New York losing three straight. Take the gift point and a Giants win.
Browns at Bears: The Browns are so bad that Cleveland fans are trying to organize a protest, asking everybody to walk in late for a Nov. 16 game against Baltimore. They’ve considered not walking in at all. But they’re afraid the hand of Art Modell will punch through the dirt on the 50-yard line and and move the team again, this time to his current residence in Netherland. Chicago wins, but won’t cover the 13.
Financial Ledger
Last week: 8-3 straight up, 5-6 against the line.
Totals: 58-28 straight up, 41-45 against the line.
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322 comments Add your comment
DAWGS WIN!
October 29th, 2009
9:11 pm
Georgia will renew its rivalry with Florida for the 88th time Saturday at 3:30 p.m. on CBS. The Bulldogs lead the all-time series, 47-38-2. Go Dawgs…
GT For You And Me
October 29th, 2009
9:12 pm
Why so serious Dawg fans! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e86cw2Z526k
Red Foreman
October 29th, 2009
9:19 pm
Gawga loses by lets say….50 points
Dawgs suck plain and simple…now go get me a beer!
Red Foreman
October 29th, 2009
9:21 pm
@DAWGS WIN!
Typiical pup fan, spittin out stats…you guys suck, the real ball is being played in Atlanta!!!
45-42 SUUUUUUUCK IT!
Red Foreman
October 29th, 2009
9:21 pm
UGA SUCKS!!!!
Craig Fowler
October 29th, 2009
9:24 pm
Hey, DAWGS WIN!, I’ll pay you next week. You tryin to get mo peoples money?
Dog in Fla
October 29th, 2009
9:26 pm
“I feel like the Chief when he found Randall P. McMurphy after the lobotomy.”
“…come back when they’re 10-1 Georgia week.”
“The most popular costumes this Halloween are both corpses: Al Davis and JaMarcus Russell.”
All gold. Pure gold. If they don’t already have it the 10 o’clock version of Jay Leno should have a stat call out for Schultzie to rip off its DNR tag and rescue it.
But the winner in the biggest upset since Navy beat Notre Dame is “ran a red light, was driving without a license and of course missed a block” and Georgia – they’ve really got a chance now that the Gator does not have a Percy Harvey and a Slingshot.
DAWGS WIN!
October 29th, 2009
9:35 pm
Patrick,
I honestly believe that Georgia will win two BCS National Championships within the next seven years along with four SEC championships over that same time frame.
By the way, after the Dogs beat down the Gators in Jacksonville this Saturday, the series will be tied 3-3 since 2004. This game will be the turning point for Georgia and will begin a decade of domination over the Gators.
Joe Schmoe
October 29th, 2009
9:41 pm
DAWGS WIN!
October 29th, 2009
9:35 pm
Patrick,
I honestly believe that Georgia will win two BCS National Championships within the next seven years along with four SEC championships over that same time frame.
By the way, after the Dogs beat down the Gators in Jacksonville this Saturday, the series will be tied 3-3 since 2004. This game will be the turning point for Georgia and will begin a decade of domination over the Gators.
Whoa!!!! Dude pass what ever it is that you are smoking. That stuff is turning your brain inside out. Two NC championships in the next 7? I thought I have heard it all, and to cap that off four SEC championships. Shaking head!
jambee
October 29th, 2009
9:44 pm
Take the Dawgs and the points. Florida has done nothing to be worthy of their standing.
GT For You And Me
October 29th, 2009
9:44 pm
Coach Johnson Football 101: Maybe Richt needs to watch this! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSR3Y-yl1iQ
Herschel Talker
October 29th, 2009
9:46 pm
DAWGS WIN! @ 9:35:
YOU ARE A BLIND HOMER, LIKE THAT MORON L-DAWG. YOU ARE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY ABSURD. THIS IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE.
Eric C.
October 29th, 2009
9:51 pm
Most realistic Falcon fans are probably not looking forward to the first MNF game in 2 yrs…it would have been nice to at least have a healthy Falcons team take a shot at the Saints. The Falcons are an injury away from Hayes and Stecker starting.
browndog
October 29th, 2009
9:54 pm
It will be a very long day if UGA can’t run the ball.
Asheville Dawg
October 29th, 2009
10:00 pm
UGA and Falcons get drilled and Tech wins. Blah blah blah, might as well have another drink!
W&Ws
October 29th, 2009
10:01 pm
The Falcons will play the Saints better than they played the Cowboys. Three out of the four Dallas TDs came from outside the red zone. “Explosive plays,” Mike Smith called them. Birds should do fine if we leave our punter at home.
Limelight
October 29th, 2009
10:13 pm
Hey DAWGS WIN! So what if UGA leads the series versus Florida? Ga Tech owns Florida head to head, 24-9-6. Florida stunk until the last 20 years or so.
Your Mother
October 29th, 2009
10:15 pm
Schultz, lately Im convinced you’ve become an idiot or at least lazy. You tout the conventional wisdom with little real thought behind it. Auburn will win, Georgia will win in a very close one, UT will win ugly.
The Saints are truly scary, but the Falcons are talented enough to beat them. Forget this nonsense about Drew Brees getting out of his car…what if he sustains a groin pull doing it?
Shech aint tit
October 29th, 2009
10:21 pm
Cox should be pumped for this game, its the biggest game he will see in his entire career. Face it, if we make a bowl it wont be as big a game as this one. This is the game of his life, he needs to play his best game ever this week. I think if they were to pull the upset they go on to have a great rest of the year. It would be a huge confidence booster.
45ACP
October 29th, 2009
10:24 pm
Virginia Tech is not playing like a good team tonight.
At home and fighting for a win vs North Carolina.
GBO
October 29th, 2009
10:27 pm
Jeff,
As a Vol who, for some reason, continues to read your column (maybe the pictures), I am relieved that once against you are betting against the Vols. We win (or at least cover) almost every time you pick against us. I think about the only time you picked us to cover was UCLA and maybe Auburn, but not when we played FL, GA, and the Tide. Don’t you get tired of underestimating us and causing you to look bad against the spread??? Spurrier has had TN’s (read Fulmer’s) number, but there is a “new sheriff in town” who doesn’t tremble just because Spurrier is headed toward Neyland.
Joe Schmoe
October 29th, 2009
10:27 pm
Yea, that game is UNC to lose.
GBO
October 29th, 2009
10:31 pm
…and by the way, I don’t think GA will win, but I think that line is ludicrous…and I don’t even like the Bulldawgs. FL’s offense is not working without Percy Harvin and Dan Mullen,so GA will cover.
Joe Schmoe
October 29th, 2009
10:36 pm
UNC is about to take a drive to win the game against VT.
Joe Schmoe
October 29th, 2009
10:42 pm
2 seconds on the clock with VT and UNC tied. UNC about to kick a game winner.
tech is a mediocre team of a mediocre conf
October 29th, 2009
10:45 pm
that ga tech win over va tech doesn’t look quite as good anymore
Joe Schmoe
October 29th, 2009
10:47 pm
tech is a mediocre team of a mediocre conf
October 29th, 2009
10:45 pm
that ga tech win over va tech doesn’t look quite as good anymore
I guess it could be worse. We could have loss to UT.
Gen Neyland
October 29th, 2009
10:49 pm
JS gets paid big $$$ to be wrong and I get an unemployment check just to take a wag at it… Tennessee wins 31-13. Home, in Orange and Halloween. Thanks for letting us wear our home Orange this week, Alabama…Sorry Dawgs, it’s my responsibility to feel confident with the Vols, not the UGA’ers. Florida wins…Don’t know why but I think Auburn gimmicks the he11 out of Ole MS and wins this one…GT gets a slight edge vs the Medical Team of Vandy…GBO
stigguwiggy
October 29th, 2009
10:53 pm
Typical dawg logic, Joe Schmoe. How can the Tech win over Va Tech make Tech look worse, when they ALSO beat North Carolina?
stigguwiggy
October 29th, 2009
10:54 pm
Sorry, Joe Schome. The last comment was meant for the SEC shill who preceded you.
Jeff Schultz
October 29th, 2009
10:54 pm
Neyland — I get paid big $$$?
Teblow
October 29th, 2009
10:55 pm
UGA > ARK > MSU. UF barely beat these teams but they are going to beat us by over than 2 TD?
What is your reasoning here? They have won 17 so they will win 18? Thats solid right there man, wow
45ACP
October 29th, 2009
10:55 pm
Folks I believe Joe Schmoe is a classy Jacket fan.
Joe Schmoe
October 29th, 2009
10:56 pm
stigguwiggy
October 29th, 2009
10:53 pm
Typical dawg logic, Joe Schmoe. How can the Tech win over Va Tech make Tech look worse, when they ALSO beat North Carolina?
I dont know if you think I am a dog fan, but you are wrong.
stigguwiggy
October 29th, 2009
10:56 pm
I guess cowbells don’t bother ACC Tech players like they do the players from that Mighty SEC schools Florida and LSU, both of whom came close to getting their asses whipped in Starkville.
Teblow
October 29th, 2009
10:56 pm
Sure our secondary is terrible, but guess what Tebow can’t throw for nothing without Murphy and Harvin. He is 8th in the SEC in passing……..
Jeff Schultz
October 29th, 2009
10:57 pm
GBO — Anything I can do to help.
tw3a
October 29th, 2009
10:57 pm
thanks for getting off the falcon band wagon now they will be just fine
Jeff Schultz
October 29th, 2009
10:58 pm
Your Mother — How can you call your only son an idiot?
Joe Schmoe
October 29th, 2009
10:58 pm
Is the FL Offense that enemic this year? I just cant see how Pearcy Harvin could make so much of a diffrence.
45ACP
October 29th, 2009
10:59 pm
General – Who does Tennessee play Saturday?
Jeff Schultz
October 29th, 2009
11:00 pm
U-no — I dunno. I actually feel pretty good about the Packers’ pick. But that should be a great game. Wish I was there (since it’s not snowing).
stiggywiggy
October 29th, 2009
11:01 pm
I wonder if lemmings enjoy their annual migratory journey to destruction as much you dawg fans enjoy your annual trek to J’ville. At least the lemmings don’t embarrass themselves by carrying red flags to their watery grave.
Pit Bull
October 29th, 2009
11:01 pm
Hey Brandon Spikes, who you going to hold down and bitch talk now that Moreno is gone. Maybe Cox, a lineman, a couple recievers at one time. You shouldn’t be so mean, our players sure aren’t!
Jeff Schultz
October 29th, 2009
11:02 pm
DamYankee — All payments will appear promptly in the PO Box you provided before the season.
Joe Schmoe
October 29th, 2009
11:03 pm
stiggywiggy
October 29th, 2009
11:01 pm
I wonder if lemmings enjoy their annual migratory journey to destruction as much you dawg fans enjoy your annual trek to J’ville. At least the lemmings don’t embarrass themselves by carrying red flags to their watery grave.
I agree that it has been tought for the doggies, but they have an excellent shot of beating UF this year than any other year. They have to find a way to score first though.
stiggywiggy
October 29th, 2009
11:03 pm
Don’t worry, dawgies, This might be your year. And Haley’s Comet make come back this year too.
Jeff Schultz
October 29th, 2009
11:04 pm
Gt in CT — Miami always has had attendance issues, and now they play at Dolphins Stadium, which is nowhere near campus.
Tebow
October 29th, 2009
11:04 pm
If the dawgs upset us I promise you no one will work harder than me the rest of the year. I will personally put my foot up my Offensive linemans asses, I promise you that! Timmy, God Bless!
Tax Evasion Is BAD
October 29th, 2009
11:04 pm
Fear The IRS!!!!!! When the IRS finally initiates an investigation into how a certain team’s freshmen can SUDDENLY have family members moving into cabins in Maggie Valley, the BLANK will finally hit the fan. Won’t have to worry about what the NCAA will do, instead the Federal Government will move to collect the taxable income accruing from gift of property to certain incoming freshmen. There was suppossedly a freshman this year who had a SUDDEN change of heart as to his choice of college and soon after family members moved from an impoverished community into new digs. I would be willing to bet the flagship university of one state may actually have produced some accountants and lawyers with knowledge of IRS machinery who could provide some tips.
Just realize all 17 and 18 year old kids that the Federal Government IS NOT STUPID–contrary to what some rabble rousers say—they can trace paper trails pretty well.A home, cabin, mansion provided to a family member as an inducement to get a relative to attend a university is TAXABLE INCOME!!!!!!!!