I just met me, and gotta tell ya: Not impressed

schultz

We found common ground: TV. It pretty much ends there.

Five years ago, Thrashers general manager Don Waddell was asked about his plans for the upcoming NHL draft.

“I’m not sure who we’re taking,” he said, as he looked in my direction. “But I can guarantee you we will not draft Jeff Schultz.”

It was pretty funny. But then we’re used to Don’s jokes around draft time. (Thank you. Now we’re even.)

Any way, the Other Jeff Schultz is a 6-foot-6 defenseman from Calgary, who was drafted in the first round by the Washington Capitals. The OJS is not known for his scoring.  But last week when the Caps came to town, the OJS  had a goal (a fortunate one from the length of the ice) and two assists and was named first star in a 5-4 win over the Thrashers. I was inundated by emails, Tweets and taps on the shoulder from people saying, “Nice game.”

I resisted the temptation to tell Waddell he should’ve drafted me. But I figured it was time for me to meet the OJS. With Washington back in town, that came Thursday morning.

As far as I can tell, the OJS and I only have one thing in common.

“I like to watch TV,” he said.

He’s 6-6. I’m 5-10. He’s 221 pounds and too thin. I’m not 221, but certainly not too thin.

He is 23. Hey, I used to be 23!

He was a first-round draft pick and has the contract to prove it.

I was a street free agent. Contract?

We both played street hockey as kids. But after middle school, I guess he had a better agent.

I’ve got one thing on him. I Googled “Jeff Schultz” and my blog site came up before his bio page. Hah!

Does the OJS get hate mail from Alabama?

“I don’t think so,” he said.

Any hate mail?

“I don’t know. If I don’t know who sent it, I don’t open it.”

Maybe I should try that.

Did the OJS  ever want to be a writer?

“Writing and reading weren’t my strong points in school. I was strictly sports. Writing is one thing I would never want to do.”

What’s the last thing he wrote?

“Probably in high school. No, I take that back. I actually gave a speech at the middle school that I graduated from three years ago. That was a struggle. I had to get help from my girlfriend and my mom.”

Did you make deadline?

“Barely.”

Page views?

Never mind.

I love movies. The OJS says he watches them sometimes.

“I just watched Transformers 2,” he said. “That was pretty good.”

What about the classics?

“What do you mean?”

The Godfather?

“I actually never saw that?”

Maybe Shawshank Redemption?

“Yeah! I saw that a long time ago. That was a good one But I kinda forget what happens.” (They escape.)

Books?

“People ask me that all the time. I’m like, why? Why read a book when I can watch TV?”

That’s it?

“Pretty much. I play hockey, go home and watch TV. Not an interesting life I have.”

Nice guy. Kinda ends there.

Wonder if there are any double-0 secret agents with my name?

39 comments Add your comment

notbowleligible

October 29th, 2009
1:46 pm

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!

fieldofdreams

October 29th, 2009
1:49 pm

Can that kid throw a curve ball?

Jamaaliver

October 29th, 2009
1:52 pm

Sometimes I wish there was another Jamaaliver…

OJS

October 29th, 2009
1:53 pm

“I actually gave a speech at the middle school that I graduated from three years ago.” That’s right. Graduated from middle school three years ago.

Mike Lum

October 29th, 2009
1:54 pm

Not much to comment on here, huh?

EW

October 29th, 2009
1:59 pm

I wish OJS stood for Original Jeff Shultz (as in the blogger) because the line you wrote “The OJS is not known for his scoring” would have been priceles..oh well

Jeff Schultz

October 29th, 2009
2:04 pm

EW — I thought about an obvious line there but I passed. I know. Not like me.

Not Disappointed

October 29th, 2009
2:04 pm

Jeff, I got you kicking his Azz in street hockey! Well, he may need to spot you! Oy!

StingerSplash

October 29th, 2009
2:04 pm

so what does it say about EJS (either Jeff Schultz) when, one the first attempt to open said blog, all I got was … a blank page?

Jeff Schultz's identical twin

October 29th, 2009
2:06 pm

dang Jeff, we look identical, you and I, but this other Jeff Schultz makes you look like the ugliest monster from Where the Wild Things Are. ask him for some vanity advice man. Pull yourself together you ugly bafoon!!!

uberVU - social comments

October 29th, 2009
2:08 pm

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by BonitaApple: ‘I just met me, and gotta tell ya: Not impressed’ – by Jeff Schultz http://bit.ly/4gffmq LOVE IT!…

reebok

October 29th, 2009
2:12 pm

Jeff – Are you the one on the right?

Lee

October 29th, 2009
2:19 pm

Let’s Go CAPS!!!!!

Donny, keep doing what you’re doing. Must be a tough job to keep building a loser team every year. I’m glad I’m from a town that has no idea what that’s like…WAIT, did you just say Redskins? Low blow!

bob horner stayed hurt

October 29th, 2009
2:31 pm

Jeff Schultz: a big guy from German ancestory that plays hockey…not a sports writer fom N. Calif…

Coop

October 29th, 2009
2:32 pm

6′6″… can he play CB?

NC Braves Fan

October 29th, 2009
2:40 pm

Given his intellectual tendencies, the OJS could always run for vice president of the US after his hockey career ends. :lol:

(Cue the hate mail from Alabama.)

Dr. Samuel Loomis

October 29th, 2009
2:41 pm

I prayed that Jeff Schultz would burn in Hell, but in my heart, I knew that Hell would not have him.

FalconUGAFan

October 29th, 2009
2:42 pm

Ha Coop that was my very thought! :)

Cuz

October 29th, 2009
2:43 pm

Jeff, it could be worse. OJS could have called you Minime.

Tech82

October 29th, 2009
3:21 pm

Cuz – OJS would never have understood the movie reference.

Buzilla in CT

October 29th, 2009
3:26 pm

He said Transformers 2 was a good movie…WTF?

Now all you have left is to interview Brian Posehn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Posehn

That way you have the guy with the same name, and they guy that you look exactly like…

p.s. (you’re still a douche)

F-105 Thunderchief

October 29th, 2009
3:36 pm

Geez, you really look like Brian Posehn in that photo.

F-105 Thunderchief

October 29th, 2009
3:38 pm

You should check into the financial rewards of being a Brian Posehn impersonator. Probably not as lucrative as Michael Jackson or Elvis, but you could get some frat party gigs maybe.

Got Stanley?

October 29th, 2009
3:53 pm

I prayed that Jeff Schultz would burn in Hell, but in my heart, I knew that Hell would not have him.

Hell’s afraid he’ll take over.

The hockey player seems like a quiet and pretty reserved dude. I can see where that would frustrate a sports writer. Ah well.

Cuz

October 29th, 2009
4:18 pm

I think some Village is missing their hockey player.

St Simons

October 29th, 2009
4:32 pm

((((45-42))) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

The Professor

October 29th, 2009
4:48 pm

“Why read a book when I can watch tv?”

Wow. Good thing he’s good at hockey.

We Turn 200! « The Hockey Chronicles

October 29th, 2009
4:49 pm

[...] Why be literate when you have TV?! (Don’t be like Jeff Schultz okay kids?) http://blogs.ajc.com/jeff-schultz-blog/2009/10/29/i-just-met-me-and-gotta-tell-ya-not-impressed/ [...]

gtm

October 29th, 2009
5:11 pm

Brian Posehn was also my first thought. Although I think he’s also 6′6″ or so.

Asheville Dawg

October 29th, 2009
5:21 pm

Striking similarities! Both JS’s stand upright.

jacket3

October 29th, 2009
5:32 pm

Hey – JS….keep it up. Next I want to see you in the hockey uni – and speaking of that how ’bout the falcons, hawks and the braves. Make a great photo opp and create plenty of chatter. Think you could throw the knuckle curve by Lee last night? Braves have a place for you right now!

Najeh Davenpoop

October 29th, 2009
6:24 pm

I have been sneaking around dorm closets for years now trying to meet the other Najeh Davenpoop…

Ted Striker

October 29th, 2009
6:42 pm

Jeff, are you the guy on the right or on the left? I gets confuse-ed when I’ve been tippling.

[...] I watched game seven of last June’s Stanley Cup Finals over a plate of hot wings with Jeff Schultz…can you guess which one? [...]

Jeff Schultz

October 29th, 2009
11:07 pm

Comments on this blog had me rolling over laughing, everybody.

Buzilla in CT

October 30th, 2009
9:20 am

Was it the Brian Posehn thing?

[...] Nice story on Washington Capitals defenseman Jeff Schulz from Jeff Schulz of the Atlanta Journal Constitution. [...]

Brendan

October 30th, 2009
4:37 pm

Jeff Schultz, the hockey player, is certainly making the best of his opportunities. Ya never know. He could wind up a Thrasher before his NHL career is over.

Lee

November 3rd, 2009
6:59 am

Nice blog, so ya………. not much to say here…….but anywayz good job :)