Digi-Blog goes to Cowboys Stadium (and finds cheerleaders!)

ticket

ARLINGTON, Texas — Welcome back for another episode of the Digi-Blog, the exciting new craze that’s sweeping the Internet and allows me to tell you a story with a significantly diminished chance of misspelling a word. Why? Because I use pictures!

If you’ve missed past episodes, don’t worry. Our tours of SEC Media Days, Falcons training camp and Stillwater, Okla., are right here, on demand.

Today, we’re off to Texas to tour the Cowboys’ new stadium, which is called, oddly enough, Cowboys Stadium, I believe because Fort Knox already was taken and Dallas owner Jerry Jones wasn’t sure how “Six Flags Over Jerry” would look on a T-shirt.

I’ll be brief.

♦ It’s big: Three million square feet, sitting on 73 acres.

♦ It’s expensive: They claimed on the tour it cost between $1.2 billion and $1.4 billion to build. But I’ve read $1.8 billion. Maybe that was without a Kroger Plus card.

♦ It’s absolutely ridiculous: You know how slower 265-pound football players suddenly became faster 295-pound football players after they started juicing? That’s Cowboys Stadium. Take the Taj Mahal, stick a needle in  its rumpus room, and watch what happens.

OK, let’s find this place . . .

♦ ♦ ♦

legends

It’s supposed to be on this street. But given Tony Romo’s playoff record so far, this seems a little presumptuous, don’t you think?

♦ ♦ ♦

DeathStar

Oh no. There it is: The Death Star. And it’s fully operational!

♦ ♦ ♦

tickets

I am not making this up. This is the line to BUY tickets to tour Jerry’s Palace of Gluttony. The cost on this day: $17.70. Yes, accounting — I have the receipt.

♦ ♦ ♦

entrance

And this is the line to WAIT for your tour after you buy your tickets. I waited over one hour.

♦ ♦ ♦

giftshop

Not a shock. Just like at every museum or amusement park roller coaster, you have to walk through the gift shop, either before or after. In this case, I stood in a line that ran through the Cowboys’ Pro Shop for about 65 minutes. Nothing I really wanted here, though.

♦ ♦ ♦

tshirt

Wow, guess it’s kind of a big game here, too. Nice T-shirt. Not even mocking. But no — I’ll pass.

♦ ♦ ♦

Cubby

And I’ll also pass on the $25 autographed pictured of former Cowboys cornerback Everson Walls. (By the way, he wouldn’t look at me. Why? Because it’s supposed to be $10 just to take his picture.)

♦ ♦ ♦

calendar

Hey, now! May just have to get me one of these . . .

♦ ♦ ♦

firstview

We’re in! Here’s your first view. See that big thing hanging from the ceiling? Well . . .

♦ ♦ ♦

betterview

Here’s a better view. That scoreboard is the world’s largest HDTV. Dude next to me had the best line: “I want my wireless Playstation right now.” The two long sides of the scoreboard measure 160 feet wide and 72 feet tall. I’ll stop while you go outside and look at your house and think about that. Even the “small” screens facing the end zones are 58 by 28. All together: That’s about 24,000-square feet of screenage, baby. DON’T SIT SO CLOSE: YOU’LL GO BLIND! Still can’t grasp the size? Try this: Know that 52-inch flat panel TV you’ve been eyeballing? Well, this is like 4,920 of those put together.

♦ ♦ ♦

tiles$35

I’ve been told those black tiles on the concourses are imported from Canada, and they were admired by the Jones family because they have specks of blue. They cost $35 each. But all I know is . . .

♦ ♦ ♦

cardboard

This is the sign to the press box elevator, and it’s made of cardboard.

♦ ♦ ♦

wetbar

OK, seriously? I totally lost count of the bars. It’s not the first time that’s happened to me. But it’s the first time that’s happened when it was 11 in the morning and I was sober.

♦ ♦ ♦

martinis

This is one of the martini bars. And there were a lot of those, too. And, yes, that is a crystal chandelier. And, yes, there were three of those in this bar.

♦ ♦ ♦

martinisign

And this is what happens to somebody when you get a bad martini at halftime. “Damn’t! I said TWO olives!”

♦ ♦ ♦

partypass

See those open concourses? You can purchase “standing room” there for $27. They’re called “party passes.” True story: The Cowboys sold 30,000 party passes for the home opener against the New York Giants. Fans were lined up shoulder to shoulder, 40-deep from the railing. Most couldn’t see the game so, of course, they had to watch on one of the 4,500 TV sets.

♦ ♦ ♦

suite

This is what one of the suites looks like. If you move the couches, the floor actually opens up and reveals a hot tub. Naw, just kidding. That’s at least six months away.

♦ ♦ ♦

fieldsuite

Those are actually  field-level suites, the first of their kind in a football stadium. You obviously can’t really see the game from them. But the suites come with the first two rows of seats just above them, and the tables down below have the advantage of being right next to cheerleaders. Cocktail tables and cheerleaders. OK, give me a minute to catch my breath.

♦ ♦ ♦

fanclub

Pledge break! Or at least it seemed that way. This goomba represents the starving billionaire, who I guess needs your help. So he stopped everybody right in the middle of the tour to give the hard sale on joining the “True Blue” Cowboys fan club for $20. He said the membership gets you 15 percent off the 80 percent markup in the Pro Shop. Actually, I added the 80 percent part of that equation. In the mean time, dude, you can go . . .

♦ ♦ ♦

windows

. . . Out! These windows slide open. The tour guide said some some real technical stuff about how many panels there were, and how much they weigh, how much they cost, but I wasn’t paying attention. But I caught this:  These windows are at both ends of the stadium. Because of the needed pressure in the building to keep the roof up, you can’t open a window at one end without opening one at the other. Otherwise, according to our guide: “It’s a big mess. The pressure will blow out the windows on the other side. My guess is, a few wigs and toupees would be caught in that twister.

♦ ♦ ♦

tunnel

This is my personal favorite part of the stadium. The Dallas players take a left out of the locker room, a left through a door way and then walk down this ramp onto the field, below that big star light. That’s not even the really cool part. Do you know what’s on both sides of the ramp?

♦ ♦ ♦

tunnelbar

More bars! Yes, you too can be a completely plastered Cowboys fan and yell things at your favorite players as they walk  right past you and onto the field before the game. Question: Has it occurred to anybody that this situation might be, well, highly flammable? OK, on with the tour. By the way, since we’re on the ground floor near the locker rooms, shouldn’t the cheerleaders be down here somewhere?

♦ ♦ ♦

cowboyslr

Bo-ring. Tony Romo, Marion Barber, blahblahblah . . . Not wasting my time going in there. I’m outta here …

♦ ♦ ♦

cheerlr

Hey now! It seems as though everybody followed me down the hall. And it’s open! Dirty Old Man of Arlington, I salute you! Onward . . .

♦ ♦ ♦

cheerlr2

Well, it looks like we’ll have to settle for another series of one-dimensional relationships. But can you believe this locker room for cheerleaders? Trust me when I tell you there were mirrors EVERYWHERE! And each pep gal has their own dressing cubicle and a pose picture right above their name. After looking at all of the pictures — several times — let me just interject here that whoever scouts for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders probably should be working in the team’s personnel department.

♦ ♦ ♦

Landry

That’s about it. This is outside the stadium. That’s a statue of Tom Landry, the former great Dallas coach, a simple man of simple needs who never would have envisioned what’s on the other side of that wall. But do you know what the funniest thing of all is? Do you know what Jerry Jones hates? Do you know what drives Jerry Jones crazy because it sits right across the street from Cowboys Stadium and there’s nothing he could do about it? Right across the street from this great symbol of excess sits . . .

♦ ♦ ♦

Walmart

. . . a Walmart. And I’m guessing the shirts are cheaper over here.

79 comments Add your comment

chalkdawg4

October 24th, 2009
6:43 pm

I can’t be first???

chalkdawg4

October 24th, 2009
6:45 pm

Of course I was not. Damn I remember the playoff game from the early 70s. I have always hated these guys. I lost my dad on 9-10 this year. A bigger Falcon fan never lived. Dad this one is for you. Loved the photos. Go Coons!!! Just kick their a!!!!

BBrown

October 24th, 2009
6:45 pm

Jeff, great tour. Hey, bring home a victory for the birds!

BravesAreDone

October 24th, 2009
6:52 pm

Enjoyed that sir!

Willoughby

October 24th, 2009
6:59 pm

Yep. The ‘78 and the ‘80 playoff losses will never fully be forgiven. Dallas could lose every game for the next ten years and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Your 3rd grade English teacher

October 24th, 2009
7:05 pm

Congrats, Jeff…only one misspelled word.

mountain_jim

October 24th, 2009
7:13 pm

Enjoyed the tour, Jeff!

fitzgerald

October 24th, 2009
7:17 pm

For us Atlanta fans, Arthur Blank will be in attendance tomorrow at the Cowboys/Falcons game and taking a lot of notes. New stadium in the Atlanta area in the future?

Country Boy

October 24th, 2009
7:18 pm

Thanks for the bolg Jeffy Boy. Good stuff. Also really enjoyed the read a few days ago on Ryan. You’re on a roll !! Bring birds some good fortune and stay relatively sober.

Not Disappointed

October 24th, 2009
7:35 pm

Jeff, Get a picture with one of those Beautiful Cheerleaders in your lap!

It looks like a cool stadium. It want be so cool when the Falcons win tomorrow nite!

Go Falcons!
Go Jackets!

Asheville Dawg

October 24th, 2009
7:46 pm

Walmart ha. Thanks for the tour. … $17 bucks for a tour, America at its finest. Jones is just counting his dollar bills til that non salary cap year, so he can join Dan Snyder as the stupidest judges of talent ever.

Greg Mendel

October 24th, 2009
7:56 pm

Why the hell do people pay big bucks to get into a stadium to watch the game on TV? Even a big TV.

chalkdawg4

October 24th, 2009
8:01 pm

I vote for the new stadium in Kennesaw. I’m glad Doraville said no.

Sonny Clusters

October 24th, 2009
8:14 pm

We was impressed by the digi-blog and it did not go unnoticed that Jeff was in Texas and close to the Double Dime Ranch and some mighty fine huntin’. When we was a journalist we would sometimes mix covering stories with huntin’ trips. That was before the AJC was cutting expenses and wouldn’t let us check any bags.

athensdawg

October 24th, 2009
8:15 pm

thanks for the tour.

as they say in texas….all hat…no cattle.

MalibuGT

October 24th, 2009
8:36 pm

great tour Jeff! ready for a perfect weekend of GT winning and Falcons winning. And how ’bout those clemson tigers!

Chuckles™

October 24th, 2009
8:43 pm

Now THAT was cool! Great job on the blog. This is a great idea.

Now, if you extend the idea to include trips you make to, lets say, a working gig into the press box?
Imagine: pictures of that great food spread… umm … the press box! I’ll bet it’s… ummm cosy?
How about shots of all those sports writers … euuuu.

Yours is a MUCH better idea. Never mind.

cricket

October 24th, 2009
8:47 pm

Good job, Jeff. Thanks for the tour.

[...] More here: Digi-Blog goes to Cowboys Stadium (and finds cheerleaders!) | Jeff … [...]

Supes

October 24th, 2009
9:04 pm

Jeff,

great job on the tour. That truly is a “completed death star of excess” (if there is such a thing).

The Dallas Cheerleaders are something else…hey they even had their own reality show on TV!

doc

October 24th, 2009
9:14 pm

only in texas …. i hope.

Matt

October 24th, 2009
9:17 pm

That stadium is the definition of obscene!! Hope Jerry, his team and stadium all end up in Bankruptcy Court. Would hate to live next to that monstrosity.

Sonny Clusters

October 24th, 2009
9:22 pm

We was almost Clemson Tigers but one of us went baseball instead and the other couldn’t pass up the benefits of second shift. When we was planning on going to Clemson we could chew almost half a bag of Red Man without getting dizzy. We was learning to spit for distance and accuracy and got pretty good at it. One of us kept chewing when he got to the minor leagues but swallowed some at the plate and his eyes got to watering and he couldn’t see the ball real good and would take some bad swings. We was always afraid that bad swings was going to get us in trouble but we just kept bouncing back. Clemson played some good ball today and we was very proud.

grahzny bratchny

October 24th, 2009
9:22 pm

Flying out tomorrow morning for the game. Not sure we will do the tour on Monday, but I’m pumped period. My brother in-law even bought me 1st class on the plane – guess the tailgating starts around 8AM with a bloody mary.

PhateNate Dogg

October 24th, 2009
9:43 pm

Everson Walls deserves a little more respect…

Until about three years ago, Everson Walls (right) was best known for what he took away: passes intended for receivers. Since then, he’s become more known for what he’s given: a kidney. After years of watching his one-time teammate and longtime friend Ron Springs being whittled away by diabetes, and losing hope in the wait for a life-saving kidney transplant, Walls, a former Pro Bowl cornerback, donated his to Springs early in 2007.

Sonny Clusters

October 24th, 2009
10:03 pm

We was noticing the University of Texas has a quarterback named, Colt. That’s a pretty good name for a Texas quarterback but something fishy probably is going on. Nobody really named Colt is gonna play football at Texas. The guy’s real name is probably Newt or Prissy. Still, Colt sounds tough and that’s what we’d want to be named if we was quarterback there. When we was playing ball our quarterback was ambidextrous and we called him Lefty sometimes and sometimes not. Sometimes people has bad sports names and makes up nicknames like Chipper or Kukla or Ollie for game purposes.

DamYankee

October 24th, 2009
10:39 pm

I wonder how much of that $1.8 billion Ol’ Sphincter Face conned his pet politicians into stealing from the public till? God, I hate the freakin’ Cowboys! If bin Laden fielded a team with Rosie O’Donnell at QB, Roseanne playing tight end and Madonna split wide, I’d root for them over the Cowgirls!

Dawgsfan1990

October 24th, 2009
10:47 pm

Hello All you in Falcons Blog Land! I would really really like to have one of those conference collision gameday tee shirts. I looked online and couldnt find them…only cowboys vs giants. If anyone happens to be going to the game tomorrow, e-mail me at dawgsfan1990@aol.com and I will SERIOUSLY pay you the cost of the shirt plus a “convenience fee” for picking it up for me. I can give you my ups acct# to ship it too. Please! anyone! I want it! Thank you. BTW I am a large fellow…need as big as possible 2X or 3 if they got em!

cowboydawg

October 24th, 2009
10:50 pm

Great article Jeff. Life long cowboy fan here in Georgia. Plan on making the trip out there next year. Just hope that Jerra will let someone else make the football calls by then….. Please God!!!!

Dawgsfan1990

October 24th, 2009
10:53 pm

…and I agree that Everson Walls is a class act all the way…but GO FALCONS KICK the COWBOYS right outta their new house! Did anyone see the Atl @ Dal game from 1991 on NFL network last night? jeez those shoulder pads looked like surf boards across every bodys backs…Aundray Bruce was #83…I thought 80 series had to be WRs back then…Mike Pritchard was #35…wasnt that a RB number?

[...] Original post: Digi-Blog goes to Cowboys Stadium (and finds cheerleaders!) | Jeff … [...]

MLK 777

October 24th, 2009
11:01 pm

I’m a Georgia boy but have to live out here due to my job. This whole week it’s been tough to listen to these knothead tv,radio folks. I’ll be there tomorrow with my Falcon cap and shirt on in our companies suite. I’ve been told not to wear it(my cap and shirt) but they can kiss my middle Georgia patoot! If yaw here a ruckus tomorrow on tv yaw back there think about me because me and some these Cowboy folks have tied up!! Hopefully things go good and there is a Falcon VICTORY!! This stadium is something to see! Along withe cheerleaders!

Asheville Dawg

October 24th, 2009
11:03 pm

Jeff where are all your loyal bloggers?

GoodTraction

October 24th, 2009
11:37 pm

Sonny is loyal . . .

Dawgsfan1990

October 24th, 2009
11:52 pm

MLK, get me a tee shirt like the one pictured….PLEASE!

Pamela

October 25th, 2009
12:00 am

I used to reside in Dallas. So the stadium has replaced the PLAYERS as the real reason for football on Sundays. PLEASE, FALCONS, LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED. The Giants are not that good so if they blew away that Toni team, then certainly it’s not a long shot. One thing I hate: ESPN analysts are actually predicting a Falcon victory. Can’t stand them; they are hyped-up and sex tainted – that channel. The Falcons don’t need their blessings. Go TG, MR and MT. Troy and Emmit are much better judges of talent and they are silently rooting for us. Jerry Jones has turned the Cowboys into the laughing stock of the NFL with his excesses.

Stimey

October 25th, 2009
12:10 am

Spankey, that am one stadium, DELUXE!

macrotech

October 25th, 2009
12:42 am

Well…..at least they have a good stadium! ;o)

Reid Adair

October 25th, 2009
1:30 am

Very well done, Jeff. I hope the AJC reimburses you the $17.70 for the ticket with that tour.

I’ll really be impressed if you can get us some shots from inside the Cheerleaders’ locker room tomorrow.

scottbravesfan

October 25th, 2009
3:52 am

That stadium is insane. If the Falcons get a new one I hope it’s a little more tasteful than that. I think the Giants/Jets stadium looks cooler from the drawings.

Felix the Cat

October 25th, 2009
5:03 am

Way to be first chalk dog.. Sorry about your loss. I lost my father this year as well..Go Falcons!!

John S

October 25th, 2009
5:47 am

Nice tour, THANKS>

falcons win

October 25th, 2009
7:11 am

there may be 102,000 at stadium we know but after falcons lead 35-7 at start of 4th period be less by then…as Romo gets roped n ploped alot…(i hope).Any way we be 5-1 after it.So all can say is Go Birds n make a mess on field!

falcon 71

October 25th, 2009
7:18 am

the cows have always been about excess. i remember at the 1980 game all their fans had great looking blue windbreakers with a big star on the back. i asked one of these morons what it cost. einstein said he paid $460. a new corvette was about $12000 then so that is their mentality

Patrick H

October 25th, 2009
7:23 am

Thanks Jeff. My wife is from there. You just saved me from going there next time we are in the city. She can take your digi tour! As a Redskins fan, I would just be in the restroom with my barf bag. And yes, I know I have a lot to barf about lately with them.

Slim Pickens

October 25th, 2009
7:24 am

…………..Josh Nesbitt for Heisman

Reconstructive Ego

October 25th, 2009
7:27 am

I never knew Joan Rivers was actually the twin sister of Jerry Jones.

jacket3

October 25th, 2009
7:38 am

When you decide to write a sports travelogue or a book about one of your favorite subjects – I’ll buy the first copy I can find. Can’t wait until you visit the Redskins stadium.

BTW- I’ll bet the stuff at that WalMart has the most expensive T-shirts in Texas.

Chew up that clock

October 25th, 2009
7:48 am

That “gimmick” ground attack Georgia Tech runs is the highest scoring offense in the ACC.

Neiman Marcus

October 25th, 2009
8:28 am

The last playoff win for Dallas was______ years ago?
………………The Cowboys are the Wal-Mart of the NFL.