Countdown goofs: Twitter, Clemson, Canada, Herschel

The Count doesn't like to talk about his family.

The Count doesn't like to talk about his family.

The Count hates the rain. Back during all those Dracula movies, it seemed like it was always a dark and stormy night (copyright), and the power went out in the house — again! — and some helpless hottie in a 1930’s-acceptable negligee strolled down a staircase with six inches of dust on it (did that woman ever clean?) to answer the door for, of course: Dracula! The Count’s not about that. He tries to think happy thoughts. He hates being dragged down by family history. And Twitter. He really hates Twitter. We count down . . .

10. How many letters is mea culpa?

Last week, we brought you all the All-Apology version of the Tuesday Countdown. This week, we will continue in that area. Admittedly, we went a little heavy with the video this week. But we felt we needed to the lighten the mood, what with everybody water-logged. But first, about Twitter: You know, the great thing about it is you’re allowed 140 characters, and “moron” only takes up five. Which leads me to Robert Henson. You’ve probably never heard his name before, and soon you won’t be able to find his name or his body, at least not without sending divers into the Potomac. But all I know is I suddenly can’t find his Twitter account.

Redskins teammates should've done this to Robert Henson before he Tweeted.

Redskins teammates should've done this to Robert Henson before he Tweeted.

9. Rule No. 1: Don’t call fans “dim wits!”

Henson is a rookie linebacker with Washington. He has yet to make an NFL tackle. That apparently gave him license to rip Redskins fans (who booed the team Sunday) on his Twitter account. The entire “Tweet” from @RedskinsLB51: “All you fake half hearted Skins fan can..I won’t go there but I dislike you very strongly, don’t come to Fed Ex to boo dim wits!!” He also wrote, “The question is who are you to say you know what’s best for the team and you work 9 to 5 at Mcdonalds.” I believe when Henson gets cut, he plans to work at the United Nations. Or McDonalds.

8. Even Joe Johnson has dropped his page

Out of my way, I've got to Tweet! Oh no, wait. Not any more.

Out of my way, I've got to Tweet! Oh no, wait. Not any more.

I found the RTs (re-Tweet in cool Twitter code) from somebody else. I would’ve taken them directly from Henson’s page but I checked this morning and it no longer exists. This follows Henson’s clumsy apology Monday. Consider it part of the Great Twitter Backlash. Who else has dropped his Twitter page? Your very own Joe Johnson of the Hawks (@JoeJohnson501). A few weeks ago, I weighed in on some of Johnson’s strange Tweets and how strange it was that the same pro athletes who complain about the media and public invading on their personal lives were putting everything out there in cyberspace, 140 characters at a time. Either something clicked with Johnson, or somebody said something to him, or both. Because his page also has vanished. You know, reporting was starting to become a very easy thing. Go to Twitter and type in a name. Egad! This might mean we’re going to have to start asking questions again.

7. Where’s Shane Stant when you need him?

Recalling the only time women's figure skating appealed to the masses.

Recalling the only time women's figure skating appealed to the masses.

This is a Winter Olympics story. (But don’t leave, it’s funny!) The next Games are in Vancouver, but it seems Canadians are getting tough! They don’t want “foreigners” (and we’re including the U.S.) to practice on their facilities. This all feeds into the home-luge advantage. Catherine Raney, an American speedskater, told the New York Times: “They’re playing nasty. I think every one of us would love to prove to them that what they did wasn’t right, and we’re ready to show it on the ice.” Ooooh. Unfortunately, our Winter Olympics history shows that our skaters tend to only knee-cap each other (see: Tonya and Nancy). But this did remember in a backwards sort of way of the great comedy flick, “Canadian Bacon,” which would be a good rental on a day like this. It’s about a U.S. president whose popularity is dropping so he starts a “Cold War” with Canada. A clip follows.

6. The Count wouldn’t need all 10 fingers

Staying in Canada, or at least in their home sport, the Thrashers played a pre-season game at Philips Arena Monday night. The combination of the weather and an overwhelming lack of interest led to about 500 people being in the building. A spokesman said it was the smallest crowd in the arena since the last Dream game. (I might’ve made up that last part.)

5. A sweet memory for suffering Tech fans

We know Georgia Tech fans are still a little down after last Thursday’s faceplant in Miami. But this should cheer you up. This video, courtesy of The Big Lead, via HotClicks, via You Tube — welcome to the new media foodchain in which I now live — shows a Clemson fan suffering after the Yellow Jackets’ comeback win over the Tigers’ two weeks ago. Expert commentary is provided by Chris Fowler and Jesse Palmer.

4. A tryout for $150? Do fries come with that?

Shelden Williams is the only NBA player who would lose a one-on-one with his wife (Candace Parker).

Shelden Williams is the only NBA player who would lose a one-on-one with his wife (Candace Parker).

Forgive me, but I’m about to make some blanket generalizations. The Utah Flash of the NBA Development League (aka “D-League”) announced it will hold tryouts in Atlanta Oct. 24 at Clayton State University. The Flash is an affiliate of the Hawks. One shouldn’t assume that if you make the Flash, you have a chance to make the Hawks, although I’m pretty sure that’s how Shelden Williams got here. But here’s the catch: Tryouts cost $150 in advance or $175 the day of the camp. Only cash or cashier’s check will be accepted. Why? Oh, I’m guessing because most people who go to D-League tryout camps don’t have a lot of money and therefore can’t be trusted with a personal check. Which leads me to this question: How many potential players can afford $15o to $175 to try out for a minor-league team, especially in this economy? And does the weekly minimum D-League salary exceed $150? Good luck with that.

3. Herschel: More post-concussion syndrome?

The first Winter Olympics I ever covered were the Albertville Games in 1992. My three personal highlights: 1) Skiing the French Alps during a few hours off; 2) A Russian journalist asking a question to U.S. hockey coach Dave Peterson that began with the statement, “Coach Peterson. You have no system.”; 3) Covering Herschel Walker in the bobsled for comedic value. (I tried to find video of Herschel in the bobsled, but the only one I located couldn’t be embedded. So here’s the link.) Now comes word that Walker — at 47 years old — has signed a contract with a mixed martial arts promoter. No fight has been scheduled yet, but I have a question: Is he that bored? Is this just lingering effects from football? Is he really that crazy? Sorry. That’s three questions. Walker recently was booted off “Celebrity Apprentice.” I seem to recall something about a frozen food venture. Then there was the talk a while back about joining the FBI, and on a lighter note he wrote a book about his personality disorder, “Breaking Free,” in which he says he played Russian Roulette with a loaded gun. I guess some people just need to stay busy and high profile. But I think I preferred it when he just ran over Bill Bates. Speaking of which, “The thighs, Larry, the thighs!” Video follows.

2. And speaking of thighs (transition). . .

Plaxico Burress, who shot himself in the leg in a New York nightclub, I believe to get out of OTAs, began his two-year prison term today at Rikers Island. ESPN’s Kelly Naqi has a nice video recap on the link. There was a delay on when Burress reporting because prison officials debated about whether to put him into the same cellblock as criminals who actually shot other people, not just themselves. (Editorial comment: I know Burress is a knucklehead. But this nuts.)

1. Is Vick Tweeting?

Just checked Twitter to see if I could find any “insight” on Michael Vick’s possible first regular season action with Philadelphia this week. I’m not sure if he’s on Twitter but I found several addresses, including @MV7isback, @Vick_Michael and @RealRonMexico, which I’m guessing is not legit. So far, nothing too salacious. Did Bob Woodward start this way?

44 comments Add your comment

@DanWeiner

September 22nd, 2009
12:59 pm

Albertville was 92 wasn’t it?

Herschel Talker

September 22nd, 2009
1:04 pm

Lindsey Snot

September 22nd, 2009
1:06 pm

@RealRonMexico is probably the ONLY legit one.

Michael Scharff

September 22nd, 2009
1:07 pm

Jeff, what happened to the “hot-chick” shots in the Countdown?

dap01

September 22nd, 2009
1:16 pm

Very insightful reading. Especially concerning Herchel. Try research!

F-105 Thunderchief

September 22nd, 2009
1:20 pm

Loser Clemson fan, aware of camera, overreacts to get attention. Does. Still is. When is my 15 minutes of fame?

Paul H

September 22nd, 2009
1:23 pm

The Clemson fan video made the whole column worth it.

J.B.

September 22nd, 2009
1:28 pm

I feel the need to point out that while attendance at the Thrash game was ridiculously low, it was an awesome game. Gave fans a lot of reasons to be excited about the season. Despite the biblical weather conditions, attendance at preseason games usually sucks anyhow. The place will be rockin on Oct. 3rd.

midnite

September 22nd, 2009
1:30 pm

Tonya and Nancy don’t quite do it for me, you can bring back Danica or Bridget now. Bridget must have been that “first row distraction” at he Meadowlands on Sunday.

Brad in Jasper

September 22nd, 2009
1:41 pm

Maybe the kid’s mostly getting over his tailgating fog, not really that serious about the loss. If so, that’s truly sad. I always remember what a die-hard Red Sox fan said – “All the build-up, failures throughout the years, close-calls, Bill Buckners, and it was finally our time. We broke through in dramatic fashion to win it all. I woke up the next day and realized that my quality of life (back in the real world) had not changed one iota because my beloved team finally won it all”. I’ve had to realize that myself sometimes. If my team won ten championships in a row, winning by blowout, everything clicking in perfection for a decade. Wouldn’t that be boring? Let’s face it, sports is simply reality TV/drama for guys (and sports loving gals). God love it and trash talk away- but remember to have fun, and it ain’t serious enough to truly stress over.

MiltonDawg

September 22nd, 2009
1:43 pm

Good Stuff JS- still don’t understand twitter, just can’t accept the changes in technology. really not even a mention on Mike Hampton going under for another surgery, missing all of next year? i think i actually feel bad for the man. must becoming bionic man?

Tuck Fech

September 22nd, 2009
1:54 pm

(((33-17))) hahahahahahahaha

Class of '98

September 22nd, 2009
1:57 pm

Craig James is such a tool.

GO DAWGS

September 22nd, 2009
2:21 pm

Hey Trade School Junkie it took yall just 3 games to fall out of the polls!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA What happened to 12-0 record you predicted,maybe yall can make some rings 35th in the nation.What a joke the Tech program is. LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeff Schultz

September 22nd, 2009
2:31 pm

Dan — yes, I was only a decade off. Over/under was 11 years. Thanx.

Michael — sorry, next week.

JB — you’re on the record.

Midnite — Thanks for the cross-promotion.

UGA still thinks they could beat Miami

September 22nd, 2009
2:48 pm

You lost to OSU… not exactly the strongest team. We lost to Miami. Do you dumb dawg fans still think you can beat Miami? Miami has got more guys in the NFL than anyone. Don’t worry. We will play again in November. You can back up all your trash talk then.

So shut up your trash talking and try not to destroy your campus next home game.

Michael Scharff

September 22nd, 2009
2:48 pm

Larvell "SugarBear" Blanks

September 22nd, 2009
2:50 pm

MichaelScharff…….didn’t you see the pics of Tonya and Nancy?? Oh that’s right??? You said Hot Chicks instead Aged Chicks.

Schultzie, I am planning on holding the next combined Thrasher-Spirit Booster Club Meeting in my one bedroom apartment in Cobb County. I think I have enough chairs but I might have to borrow a couple of more from the clubhouse.

Michael Scharff

September 22nd, 2009
2:50 pm

Whoa – I had no idea that url was so long – Jeff or ajc editors, sorry about that. Please feel free to delete my previous comment at 2:48 pm.

GT Que

September 22nd, 2009
2:53 pm

GO DAWGS

on Oct 31st by 11pm you’ll be 5-3 at best and no where near being ranked

LSU and UF are going to take you out behind the woodshed and lay the wood to you all night long

StingerSplash

September 22nd, 2009
3:10 pm

What is this Dream of which you speak, Mr. Schultz? Do you need to see Dr. Freud again?

Northern sympathizer

September 22nd, 2009
3:12 pm

GT Que

Perhaps or perhaps not. But in any event, such is life in a real conference.

GeoffDawg

September 22nd, 2009
3:14 pm

Thanks for the Herschel / Bates clip. That’s always fun to watch.

Speaking of thighs, this column reminded me of an old Tonya Harding joke(although, I think it started out as a Hillary Clinton one) regarding what she has in common with a KFC lunch special: Two large thighs and no breast.

GeoffDawg

September 22nd, 2009
3:20 pm

GT Que, please keep your “wood laying” fantasies to yourself. This is a family blog.

Hillbilly Deluxe

September 22nd, 2009
3:42 pm

For what it’s worth, I thought the ESPN crew went way overboard on the Clemson fan.

It’s probably not the best move for Herschel to get into Mixed Martial Arts. That being said, I’m damn glad it ain’t me getting into the octagon thing with him.

“Canadian Bacon” is one of the most overlooked cinematic gems of all time. Truly inspired film making. The scene at the power plant is priceless. And to tell the truth I don’t really ever watch movies but this one I catch ever time I can. (For free of course, I’m too cheap to rent it).

BBrown

September 22nd, 2009
3:46 pm

Always love the countdown. However, I can’t believe the the biggest sports story of the week was missed – Khloe Kardashian to wed NBA player, Lamar Odom, on Sunday!! Oh, well maybe, I guess you are planning an entire column on such an eventful, right? Hey, better yet, take you blog cam and blog from the wedding this Sunday. Surely this will be supercede the Falcons/Patriots, ok maybe not.

Elmo C. Grogan

September 22nd, 2009
3:50 pm

Jeff:

Grammar question…. Was it “to boo dimwits” or “to boo[,] dimwits?” Could make a difference, if he’s calling himself (likely he’d say “hisself) a dimwit, eh?

Dreamfan09

September 22nd, 2009
4:48 pm

Jeff, you really should stop bashing the Dream, lord knows they need all the help they can get. A man in your position shouldn’t use his power to hurt a professional team in his town.

Herschel Talker

September 22nd, 2009
5:05 pm

I can say this with utmost confidence:

Dreamfan09 likes men

Gravy Train

September 22nd, 2009
6:05 pm

Jeff, thanks for the laughs. Especially liked the reminder of Herschel using the Vomiteers.

My take on the Thrashers is this: They will be the albatross around the neck of the Hawks franchise as long as the ownership remains the same. The Spirit Group continue to dump money that could be used making the Hawks even better on a dumpster fire niche sport instead. There just isn’t any traction for pro hockey in this town. The NHL in general has been on life support for years. The Flames and the Knights both figured this out. Air time or print space is wasted when applied to hockey in relation to Atlanta. The comparison between the Dream and the Thrashers is very accurate in that they both are niche sports, however at least the dream provide a professional outlet for women.

Ted Striker

September 22nd, 2009
6:06 pm

Jeff, I gotta get back to you on comments. I didn’t wake up till 2 pm, then I started drinking and doing “other productive activities” — now I need a nap.

I love your column and I would have read it all the way through but double vision is a demon I don’t want to fight till later.

I will offer up incredible insight and opinions later.

(Maybe)

CV

September 22nd, 2009
6:22 pm

Jeff, that Clemson fan wasn’t near as upset as this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoifMZd5Ewg

Reid Adair

September 22nd, 2009
7:12 pm

Any chance that wasn’t really Joe Johnson’s account? I know they have been cracking down on celebrity impersonators.

On a separate note, that’s a great clip from “Canadian Bacon.”

Cuz

September 22nd, 2009
7:43 pm

Jeff why do you have a picture of my ex-wife with steak knives attached to her shoes. She is the blond chick on the left. I have no idea who the brunette bimbo is, I guess one of her friends.

Cuz

September 22nd, 2009
7:49 pm

Jeff on your next hot babe segment, go with Erin Andrews. As we found out last weekend, even when she trys to look nerdy, she just looks hot. You cannot lose with Erin. Maybe we can get her as DC when Willie takes his curtain call.

DePlane

September 22nd, 2009
8:15 pm

Jeff,

I’m with the Count on this one :) I hate twitter, mainly because my ex-wife’s nickname was tweet. Called her that for 18 years. Now I hear tweet this and tweet that all over the place!

Could Robert Henson make any more of an imbecile of himself? He might be good enough to make the roster, but he’s got rocks for brains.

What is Herschel thinking? Hmmm…something to do with paying the mortgage? 47 years old… Still, I wouldn’t want to play in a cage with him…he is younger than me.

Great countdown :) Thanks!

Sonny Clusters

September 22nd, 2009
8:25 pm

Hey Jeff, we was hoping you wasn’t flooded. The Braves are on so it’s going to be hard on us blogging about Tonya Harding. In fact, we’re not going to. We want to talk some baseball. When we was playing ball we would never have gone in for “Los Panthers” and we aren’t sure what’s up with the Mets.

GoodTraction

September 22nd, 2009
8:40 pm

Sonny is hilarious . . . He and Jeff should have their own talk show, seriously.

scottbravesfan

September 22nd, 2009
8:50 pm

Hershel is going to get destroyed.

And the Thrashers are going to be pretty good this year. But I’m sure Atlanta will continue their traditions of not supporting any of their sports teams.

schultz is mighty smart

September 22nd, 2009
9:26 pm

They got 500 to show up at pre season hockey? Why bother.

Belvedere

September 22nd, 2009
9:26 pm

I’m a Clemson fan, and I was at the game. Here’s what I did at the end of the game: uttered a, “well, crap,” or some other four-letter word, shook hands with all my buddies (all Techies), then went to some random bar and knocked back vodka lemonades with some tasty coeds. I prefer my way of coping better.

Oh, just kidding, I cried and punched the bleachers like my hero, that guy.

Y’all have a great night, and stay dry down there.

of course clemson fans drink vodka...

September 23rd, 2009
5:05 pm

that’s so 1998… get a life you orange-clad farmers. tequila or cachaça is where it’s at brother

[...] months ago, we told you that Herschel Walker had signed with Strikeforce, a California-based promotional company that stages mixed martial arts bouts. The news was [...]