Blank’s fortune cookie: Parcells is goin’ down
This week's Chalkboard submissions from "Larvell" (Danica), "Bugman" (Norton) and "Alsim" (Petrino). Have a thought for next week? Drop it in the suggestion box below.
It was approximately one year and nine months ago when Bill Parcells reaffirmed his existence as that slimy green gob of ick you’re left with every time you forget about the leftover chicken lo mein on the third shelf in the back of the fridge, as if it wasn’t bad enough that it had MSG in it and it gave your wife a headache, as if she needs another headache, because, like, you know, it was a weekend night and . . . wait, where was I?
He only lies when his lips are moving.
Oh yeah. Bill Parcells: ick. In December of 2007, he led Arthur Blank to believe he was about to accept a job to run the Falcons, the only problem being that he really was going to accept a job with Miami, which was fine because after Jim Mora and Michael Vick and federal agents and Bobby Petrino and a 4-12 season, I mean, hey, why not just throw a pie in the guy’s face on national TV and be done with it?
Of course, all has turned out well. Faustus/Wayne Huizenga closed the deal with Parcells. Good luck with that. Parcells operates in any job like he’s double-parked, which includes the time he coached one team in a Super Bowl (New England) while secretly negotiating with another (New York Jets), possibly the most despicable thing a coach can do. Oh wait. Forgot about Petrino.
Anyway, it’s worked out for both teams. But don’t you get the feeling this game means a little something extra to Blank?
The Falcons open against Miami. I’m going to venture a guess that it won’t be as easy as when they opened against Detroit last season. But it’s Matt Ryan, Michael Turner, Tony Gonzalez and Roddy White against a Dolphins team threatening to use the Wildcat. (Ooooh, the Wildcat.) Yeah, I know problems on defense. But this week, an owner gets payback. Falcons win and cover 4.
FABER COLLEGE
(Where Knowledge is Good)
Here's Joe Cox, hoping to shut everybody up.
Poultry at Dog Meat: Joe Cox doesn’t think people who’ve never played college football should criticize him. I’m wondering if this same philosophy applies to a plumber who criticizes a politician for a bad decision, or the mom who’s upset with the mechanic for not realizing he dropped a wrench in the radiator, or the goomba who put too much salt in your Bouillabaisse, because, even though you’ve never actually made Bouillabaisse yourself, you’ve eaten it before and you know what it’s supposed to taste like. I’m sure Joe Cox is a good kid. But this would be a good time to just worry about getting into the end zone this week instead of pontificating on the background noise. Because, dude, you’re in the SEC. And on that note: Hey, South Carolina’s offense might even be worse than Georgia’s! Dogs win but won’t cover 7.
Ms. State at Auburn: The Tigers just released details of Gene Chizik’s contract. He has a $500,000 incentive bonus for winning the national title and a $200,000 bonus for winning the SEC. Cool. I’ve got a $10 million incentive in my deal if I can split the atom before lunch next Tuesday. Auburn wins, but won’t cover 14.
UCLA at Tennessee: Vols coach Lane Kiffin and assistant Ed Orgeron both coached at USC, so they know what it feels like to beat UCLA. This would be a good time to get that feeling back because next week they lose all feeling against Florida. Tennessee covers 7 ½.
Florida's next non-conference opponent.
TCU at Virginia: Al Groh was hired to get UVA to a new level. Last week, the Cavaliers committed seven turnovers and lost to William and Mary. Mission accomplished. TCU covers 11 ½ on the road.
Lunch at Gators: Georgia opens with Oklahoma State and South Carolina. Florida opens with Charleston Southern and Troy. Does Jeremy Foley blow on Urban Meyer’s soup, too? Gators cover 36.
NFL SIX-PACK
(I drank one)
Lions at Saints: Matthew Stafford: You now play for Mississippi State. The opponent? Inconsequential. But since you asked, it’s Drew Brees vs the NFL’s 32nd ranked defense last year. Think Stafford can keep up? Uh, no. Saints cover 13.
Vikings at Browns: Brett Favre said this week he probably won’t play all 16 games. Nothing like an inspiring pre-season pep talk. Give me the Browns and 4 – and a straight upset.
Broncos at Bengals: How bad are things in the Josh McDaniels’ regime? In his first game, he’s an underdog to the Bengals. Cincinnati covers 4 1/2.
This is when I'm embarrassed to be in the media.
Bears at Packers: Jay Cutler just put $50 on the Bengals. Take the Bears and 3 1/2 and a straight upset.
Bills at Patriots: Does Terrell Owens look at Randy Moss and think, “Is that what happens when you grow up?” And on a related note, Owens woke up this morning in Buffalo. Patriots cover 11.
THURSDAY ONLINE BONUS PICKS!
Clemson at Georgia Tech: C.J. Spiller is a great running back. Jonathan Dwyer, better. Actual factual: Clemson hasn’t beaten a ranked team on the road since 2006. Besides, I look at Dabo Swinney and I still see, um, Dabo Swinney. Jackets cover 4 1/2.
Titans at Steelers: The Rooney family has picked three hired coaches – Chuck Noll, Bill Cowher and Mike Tomlin — and all won Super Bowls. Pretty sure one of them also wrote Genesis. Pittsburgh collects Ring No. 6 tonight and then covers 6.
♦
TOTEBOARD
Last week: Never happened.
Fine! 4-3 straight up, 1-6 against the line. But if you tell anybody I’ll deny it.
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94 comments Add your comment
Fredric
September 10th, 2009
1:03 am
First!
Fredric
September 10th, 2009
1:11 am
And, uh, second. (Is anybody out there? And where is that cricket chirping coming from?)
Fredric
September 10th, 2009
1:21 am
Third!!!!!! (Don’t worry, Jeff. I’ve got your back, buddy. We’ll get through this dry spell together.)
DawgNation
September 10th, 2009
1:24 am
Jeff, did you check your picks with Ted Striker first?
Jive Lady
September 10th, 2009
1:30 am
Jeremy not only blows on Urban’s soup, he’s the official taster!
fish head stew
September 10th, 2009
1:38 am
I want Falcons football now, Schultz, my good man, or I’ll have to punch you in the onions.
Saint Simons
September 10th, 2009
1:56 am
(((((( 24 – 10 )))))) hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dan Rooney
September 10th, 2009
2:17 am
We’ll be happy also to help UGA pick a new coach that can actually win the big one after UGA finished melting down this year. Dogs beat the chickens but the meltdown continues.
Opiner
September 10th, 2009
2:25 am
Gee whiz. I remember Bill Parcells playing Arthur Blank for a fool. That was not cool! Kinda surprised more people weren’t disgusted by that. Secretly negotiating a deal with the Jets while preparing the Patriots in their first super bowl. I’ll say this for Nicky Satan. At least he had the decency to refuse to talk to the bammers till after the season was over and put his energies 100% toward the team that was paying him till the end of the season. Not praising Satan. Just seems like he got a pretty raw deal from the media compared to what some of these other slimeballs like Parcells, Petrino, etc.did.
David C
September 10th, 2009
2:42 am
JS – Saints / Det will bankroll me all year. 13 line is stupid. Saints 48-13. Thanks Vegas!
Heath
September 10th, 2009
3:26 am
Tech’s Little Option will begin to be exposed this week as the gimmick it is. Clemson wins, but is it really an upset? Did anyone think Jerry Glanville would have long term prospects?
Cash Back Credit Cars | Credit Card Rewards For Balance Transfer
September 10th, 2009
4:07 am
[...] Blank's fortune cookie: Parcells is goin' down | Jeff Schultz [...]
Vol85
September 10th, 2009
4:32 am
Jeff, what “The Tuna” did to (up until last year had been shooing) Blank(s) was self serving, but typical. As you point out, just look at what he did to the Pats as a point of reference. With Parcells it’s all about making sure that the spotlight is on him and him alone for those 30 minutes before the meter expires. But this is one of those cases where what did NOT happen actually was the best thing that could have happened. BTW: how STUPID is that knickname? Tuna?! What, was “Orange Roughy” already taken?
Picks: I think the ‘Fins might pull an upset, but if they do it will be because of the Falcons’ much reported on problems in the secondary, not the Wild(insert your franchise’s named version here) package. Believe it or not, it’s not that hard to defend a direct snap, one, and there’s no surprise to it any more, two. Regardless of which Chad plays (are they hanging Chads since they play for a Florida based team?), the Birds’ pass coverage is vulnerable.
Yikes: Favre = Parcells with a three day growth thrown in for that much needed rough and tumble look that the NFC North fans crave. What’s that? They play in a dome? Oh well.
Aints vs Saints: Here’s saying Drew throws for more yardage during pregame than Stafford does in the Lions’ first three games. OK, it’s hyperbole, but it’s also the Lions.
Bills vs Pats: Did you e-e-e-e-ev-ur think that prior to Moss going to Foxboro you’d be referring to him as the “grown up” version of anything? Owens is the Parcells/Favre version of the league’s prima dona position, living on their reputations while ignoring the fact that they have held entire franchises for ransome.
Good luck w/that atom splitting thing, Jeff.
DamYankee
September 10th, 2009
5:22 am
I know, I know, it’s football, dammit, but I couldn’t wait to go public with my defection from the Bobby Cox bandwagon. Tues. night was bad enough, yanking Vasquez to go with the Rocking Horse, but at least they won and Bobby may have had reasons (bases loaded in the 6th, second & third w/1 out in the 7th), but last night Tommy is dealing diamonds and doesn’t get a chance to win his own game! Screw Cox! And which one of these losers will be the Braves closer next year? I miss Smoltz trotting in from the bullpen in the 9th, game over.
Bullish-on-the-Falcons
September 10th, 2009
5:45 am
No brainer of the week – San Diego by 9. All day.
Is it Sunday yet?? FALCONS BABY!!!!!!!!!!
Jackets2009
September 10th, 2009
5:54 am
My BFF cousin is a Clemson fan who also told me Clemson would win and it wouldn’t be an upset. Last year I thanked him for the coaching change because Bowden usually beats the Jackets at Death Valley and I think he might have again. Whoever scheduled the Bama game, whether Bowden or the AD, is the one who should have been fired.
Mitch
September 10th, 2009
6:23 am
Great article. Love the headache reference. By the way, I don’t think it would happen, but we can have fantasies, right? Falcons not only win and cover but put a good old fashioned ass “whoopin” on Miami and the D shows up and shows out to the surprise of the entire NFL. Falcons drop 6 touches on the out of water fish 42-3. I know. Remember, it’s a fantasy. I do think we win, though. Off to work. Ya’ll be good.
Give the Parcells twist a rest...
September 10th, 2009
6:39 am
…the Falcons play the Dolphins, not Bill Parcells. Just like the Dawgs play SC, not Steve Spurrier!
JSS
September 10th, 2009
7:02 am
1-6 against the line… 17%
I guess that pilfered jpeg (still have gotten the memo on png I see) didn’t show you any good advice?
What is it? The game is played on the field…
Did you buy any morphine for BVG so he can get some sleep after thinking about how he’s going to stop the Wildcat, the short out and up, and Pat White with that Defense? I guarantee you that the Dolphins will have no problem taking away the Falcons offensive weapons with the exception of Turner.
SatchelBuzz
September 10th, 2009
7:20 am
No gimmicks on the Flats Heath. Funny how people just can’t deal with what’s happening. Great day to be a ‘Jacket!! GO TECH!!!
Richard
September 10th, 2009
7:35 am
19th!!!! Um, what was this blog about again?
JOE THE BLOGGER
September 10th, 2009
7:36 am
Fredric: Stamp collecting is nice way to pass the time. I spend hours on it myself. Did Jeff Shultz really say the Falcons, Dogs, and Jackets are going to win? Tech i can understand… but the other two…were you watching the same teams that I was the last few weeks? Georgia will be lucky to score at all against the new Spurrier (now known as The Quiet One). And the Falcons defense… you have heard of the Steel curtain… they are the swiss cheese speed bump. Honestly Jeff, we Chihuahuas need to start calling you Homer. I just hope you are right and I am wrong. One last possibility: what if Arthur and Bill accidentally get on the elevator together… wouldn’t that be fun?
Cuz
September 10th, 2009
7:47 am
When does Florida start it’s season? And why do they get two preseason games?
JoeV
September 10th, 2009
7:48 am
GO TIGERS!!!
Sleeze
September 10th, 2009
7:59 am
Clemson wins, Falcons win, Dawgs win, but we all lose every time Jeff Schultz puts out another article showing all his wisdom
smartguy
September 10th, 2009
8:02 am
Screw Parcy. Go Falcs!
Beautiful Monte
September 10th, 2009
8:05 am
Heath, just because you were head water boy and jock-strap scrubber for your high school football team doesn’t mean you anything about the sport.
Your characterization of the option as a “gimmick” is, for lack of a better term, dumb. “Gimmicks” do not produce the kinds of results that Georgia Southern and Navy enjoyed with the option. For further evidence of your abject stupidity, read Andy Staples’ piece on Tech’s offense at si.com,
In the meantime, Heath, please do us all a favor and have yourself spayed and/or neutered so you do not contaminate the world with the fruit of your ignorant loins.
Have a great day, and may God bless America!
Papa Smurf
September 10th, 2009
8:06 am
Smurfette and I are going to smurf on over the jpeg to buy some png, tiff, gif and maybe even a couple of PDFs and EPSs.
phinfan
September 10th, 2009
8:06 am
Thanks for picking against my phins. i’m feeling much better about the weekend now. Hopefully your picking Clemson tonight as well ? Yeow Fuzz lives
Marti Hernandez Rojas
September 10th, 2009
8:07 am
Florida actually gets three preseason games.
Gordo
September 10th, 2009
8:08 am
Over/Under on Cox being UGA starter is 4 games, Im taking the under.
Gordo
September 10th, 2009
8:10 am
And love the Browns pick, GO CLEVELAND! I think God has hated the Browns long enough.
mountain_jim
September 10th, 2009
8:23 am
Here’s hoping the FALCONS WIN and someone at the game reams Parcells on a good sign or banner on TV.
LoelGator
September 10th, 2009
8:36 am
Georgia will rise again…What will Saint Simons do then.????
LoelGator
September 10th, 2009
8:37 am
Anybody is a preseason game for Florida
Habersham Dawg
September 10th, 2009
8:46 am
Georgia wins 10-6, Tech wins because Clemson won’t be able to capitalize on Tech’s fumbles, and Falcons win through a ball-control offense that keeps their defense off the field.
C. Tampa Ironworse
September 10th, 2009
8:47 am
Go Falcons, Go Dawgs and Go retire, Bobby Cox!
Ed-Covington
September 10th, 2009
8:50 am
Tech wins, Falcons win & dawgs lose.
GeoffDawg
September 10th, 2009
9:07 am
Joe Cox shouldn’t have said that but I think he’s gotten enough crap over it by now. He’s still an amateur after all and depending on how he plays on Saturday, his QB status may be a non-issue anyway.
Parcells is a duplicitous jerk-face but he had a history before the Falcons job opening. You’ve got to know who you’re getting in bed with and I think Arthur Blank knew he was going after a mercenary and was ok with it if it gave the organization a needed shot in the arm.
Pound
September 10th, 2009
9:14 am
Last time i checked Bill parcells will not be putting on a jersey Sunday…WTF if you guys are worried about BP your going to lose
30-27 Miami…oh by the way Bobby —–Cox….is lost w/o Shuerholz
I was a Braves fan growing up but never a Cox supporter, I respect was he’s done but for what he was given year after year he has not produced when it counted most…happy retirement Bobby its time for someone else to run the ship…I remember in the early 90’s he’d play guys like Sid Bream when Bryan Hunter was a young kid crushing the ball, or he’d play Damon Berryhill instead of a young up & comer like Javy lopez. He’s better about young players now but it cost him in the 90’s
jacket3
September 10th, 2009
9:19 am
Johnson will have the Jackets ready. Last week was a live scrimmage with paying fans. Yeah they made mistakes…three wide open TD’s bungled…score should have been around 50-17. Remember these guys came back 28 points last November in Athens in 15 minutes. Most of them were frosh or sophomores learning the new playbook. Just you wait. Johnson has a few tricks up his sleeve. Jackets cover win by 17.
Yup
September 10th, 2009
9:24 am
Falcons 31 Miami 13
Saints 17 Lions 24 (YUP)
David Smith
September 10th, 2009
9:29 am
What’s with all the cheap shots against Tennessee,Schultz? The Tennessee fans back Lane Kiffin and Tennessee is going 8-4 and going Bowling this Season.
Atomic Mike
September 10th, 2009
9:31 am
Splitting atoms is child’s play. Playing QB for the Lions is for real men as is coaching at Okie St.
leland
September 10th, 2009
9:34 am
Dear Mr. JS–if your source for Cox’s “pontificating” is Bradley’s September 8 blog, then you are flat wrong. He did not say in that blog that he thought those who have not played football should criticize those who are playing. Moreover, there is no indication in that piece concerning what he thinks, and I’m sure you can’t read minds. The crux of what he said was that he had no interest in what fans said, and that he gave due diligence to the source of any comments about his play, though to be sure he made the latter point as irony. What he said he did is what we all do; ignore comments from those who are uninformed. And well he should, and well we should.
Your comments about him were malicious and spiteful. Moreover, the quotes in Bradley’s blog attributed to Cox did not sound like pontificating–they appeared to be an honest, undressed-up answer to a Bradley question.
I think much of your writing is empty, almost pointless, and larded with abortive, labored attempts at humor which as often sound more high-schoolish than grown-upish. Seldom are you mean spirited and bloody minded. But you were today. Your pal, Leland
Hollywould
September 10th, 2009
9:44 am
Leland, You got a man crush on Cox? Sure sounds like it. Falcons, Tech, Ga. all win.
Larvell "SugarBear" Blanks
September 10th, 2009
10:14 am
Shultzie!
Thanks for using my “Driving Lessons with Danica” line. Be sure and look for the DVD to be issued sometime later in the month. Now on to your prodigous predictions. Yes, Dawgs will win but there is no way the cover the 7. Jeff, I was thinking of an appropriate headline for this game that references Game”Cocks” and Joe Cox but I just realized this is a family show. You might consider adding on your chalboard…..”Twitter with Joe Cox”…… nice comments Joe (NOT!)
Hamp from Tuscaloosa
September 10th, 2009
10:44 am
Jeff that first paragraph was hilarious! Good article.
GeoffDawg
September 10th, 2009
11:09 am
Is that a giant zit on the tip of Parcell’s nose? Adult set acne isn’t pretty.
Hillbilly Deluxe
September 10th, 2009
11:15 am
Bill Parcells sort of treated Arthur blank the same way Arthur treated Dan Reeves.
When you get down to it, it’s pretty hard to drop a wrench in a radiator.
I’ve never played college football or even high school football for that matter but Joe Cox might benefit from what my Grandpa used to tell me, “Boy, never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut”.
He has a right to say anything he wants to but it might be wiser not to make enemies when you don’t have to, Save it for a battle that matters.
Tuck Fech
September 10th, 2009
11:22 am
Dear Clemson fans……
REMEMBER, as posted before, BE ON GUARD on your walk to and from the stadium tonight. The Tech campus mugging forecast is very high tonight (as is the case every night). There is apprx. an 87% chance a gun will he held to your head, but so far nobody has been shot, so feel free to joke around with your mugger, and tell him what a great job he did. They are open to constructive critisism in order to perfect future muggings of wimpy little nerds in the NEAR future.
As always, you are going to notice a great deal of empty seats in the small stadium you will be visiting tonight. Feel free to move down to the front couple rows to improve your viewing pleasure.
Now, you may notice the University of Georgia team will not be in the stadium, nor do they have anything to do with tonight’s game. HOWEVER, you will hear lots of anti-UGA chants, and see lots of anti-UGA attire. This hatred and jealousy of their cross state “rival” is directly related to the abundance of empty seats in the stadium. (See, Georgia Tech has beat the University of Georgia 12, twelve, times since the year of 1965. and since they won a sloppy game last year they have visions of being undefeated or something like that this year. Just reference the rings they made for the victory last season)
Please do not show up tonight if you are in any mood to make asian or terrorist jokes. About 90% of the half filled stadium will likely take offense to said jokes. Thank you for your cooperation with this.
Please do not get frustrated if the game does not start on time. Of the 19 Georgia Tech season ticket holders, 7 are well known to show up a little late. They have priority and control of game times.
As always, we invite you to visit the Varsity to claim your free Naked or Chili Dog coupon on the back of your ticket. If you do not have a ticket, please knock VERY VERY hard on the ticket booth window. The non-english speaking arabic freshman running the booth is not used to selling tickets, so he may be asleep or listening to his orders on his terrorist cell pod-cast.
IF you are not car-jacked on your way out of the ghetto (10 blocks surrounding campus) we wish you a safe trip back to Clemson. Remember to celebrate when you get home, not on the road.
- Paul Johnson
Jeff Schultz
September 10th, 2009
11:35 am
Frederic – you get a bonus for 1 a.m. comments. Guess not everybody was up with ya.
DawgNation – Can’t trust Striker, ever since that incident over Macho Grande.
Fish head stew – almost there.
Opiner – Saban didn’t handle things great either, but, yeah, he’s definitely ahead of Parcells.
Vol85 – Funny thing about Tuna nickname. NY media just gave it to him because he looked like a Tuna. It’s never really been a nickname, as in something his friends called him.
Mitch – Thanks.
David – I can see 8-4. Their schedule’s pretty soft.
Leland – I read all the comments in all the stories. He didn’t handle it well. Even heard Buck Belue on the radio this morning suggest that it probably wasn’t the right thing to say but that the kid just vented after all the criticism. But we’re all entitled to our opinions.
Hamp – Thanks.
Jeff Schultz
September 10th, 2009
11:37 am
Hillbilly: Small wrench … I like that saying. Another one is, “Better to let people think you’re a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
Evil Richt 2009 S.E.C. World Tour: "(No longer) Banned in Columbus"
September 10th, 2009
11:41 am
UGASPORTS reporting Cox suffering from “arm issue” and Logan Gray will start Saturday.
Lowcountry Bulldawg
September 10th, 2009
11:53 am
Well, we will see how Gray does this Saturday. Wow! 1st start is against USC. Man this will be rough. CWM better have the defenses ears pinned back for Garcia!
Ted Striker
September 10th, 2009
11:57 am
DawgnNation — I’ll supply picks to you directly for a nominal fee. I offer up to 145% in bonuses, 50% sign-up, 50% reload, 25% referral, 10% gamblers insurance and 10% extra in casino chips.
Evil Richt 2009 S.E.C. World Tour: "(No longer) Banned in Columbus"
September 10th, 2009
12:00 pm
Now David Hale saying players are denying the JC and LG story.
mark richt
September 10th, 2009
12:06 pm
I just finished my gameplan for the south carolina game and let me tell you, it is FREAKIN GREAT.
Now, If the players execute it, we will win with no problem – and if the players execute, I will be proving the georgia fan base wrong about using directional kicks this week.
Jeff Schultz
September 10th, 2009
12:23 pm
Evil Richt — Saw the report, still waiting for confirmation. The thing has spread like wildfire but so far only the one site is reporting it.
Striker — You trying to poach on my customers? Not sure I would trust you to provide 10 percent extra in potato chips, let alone casino chips.
Evil Richt 2009 S.E.C. World Tour: "(No longer) Banned in Columbus"
September 10th, 2009
12:32 pm
JS-
This story seems to be a riddle tied up in an enigma wrapped in a paradox-or something like that.
Serious question, if LG was the starter, would it change your pick? I don’t know if it seriously changes any evaluation of the game, as not too much was expected from the QB position anyway.
N.GA.DAWG
September 10th, 2009
12:43 pm
tuck feck, classic! I’ll take fech tonight -5. Dawgs might cover the 7 since Joe wont be starting. I went to 6 falcon home games and they won all of them last year. I was in the parking lot when Elam kicked the fg v/s the bears(trying to get a head start home). Good news falcons, I will be in the dome sunday. COONS 24 PHINS 17.
Brad in Jasper
September 10th, 2009
12:52 pm
I personally would love to see more shades of Gray, versus the (White) vanilla offense Bobo called after the first drive. The scramble ability of any QB always alters the D a bit, just like pitching from the stretch.
ATLVOL
September 10th, 2009
12:52 pm
I love how UGay fans always complain about Florida’s schedule. I’ll give it to Georgia for playing a pretty good schedule the last couple of years, but that hardly makes up for the crappy schedule they have played in the last 20 years.
Last time I checked Florida does play Florida State every year (yeah, the same one who looked pretty good the other night and went something like 13 straight years in the Top 5). Oh yeah, they also played Miami a few times. I didn’t hear UGay fans talking then. Also, Jeff, the last time I checked, Florida plays South Carolina too.
And this is coming from a Vol fan.
Dart thrower
September 10th, 2009
1:04 pm
Jeff if you’re 1-6 and you were a loser last year against the line then what you should do is maybe just throw darts. Then you could write up something to justify why you picked this team or that. At least you would be 50/50 theoretically by the end of the year or maybe a little over or a little under .500. But you would certainly be better than 1 for 6.
Au tiger
September 10th, 2009
1:19 pm
Jeff – why do you and every other media outlet have a problem against Chizik? Auburn gained the most yards in last’s week game then they did in two years. And quite a few people picked La Tech to win.
Duder
September 10th, 2009
1:21 pm
Love the Airplane reference, Schultzie.
Ted Striker
September 10th, 2009
1:36 pm
Jeff — With you 1-6 against the line, I’m just filling a need.
GT Brill
September 10th, 2009
1:37 pm
Bobby Cox needs to retire. As Michael Corleone said, “It’s business, not personal”.
Last night was the last straw for me.
Oh yeah, and rip those @#$@# putting greens out of the clubhouse !
Ted Striker
September 10th, 2009
1:39 pm
ATLVOL — Thanks for the update on the UF schedule. I’m sure you had a point in there somewhere but maybe it left town with Fulmer.
Chuck
September 10th, 2009
1:50 pm
Jeff, the reference to The Tuna stinking like old chicken lo mein was a good one. But he actually got that nickname because he always ate 2 tuna fish sandwiches for lunch (that NY media is right on top of things important to coaching). So forget the lo mein….imagine having to smell his breath after lunch!
cctusc
September 10th, 2009
2:04 pm
wow. another week another sorry prediction about the gamecocks. Who was it that said they would lose to NC State last week??? Oh yeah, the every week pick against the gamecocks Jeff ” I see nothing, I hear nothing ” Schultz. By the way, Col clink was better at predicitng what Hogan was going to do than you are with these games
Danny Weurffel
September 10th, 2009
2:08 pm
If I only had a rifle for an arm like Joe Cox I would be closing out a hall of fame career in the NFL.
In all seriousness, Joe Cox has no business being a starting quarterback in the SEC. He can’t throw a deep ball to save his life. Unless the route is under 20 yards downfield, it’s not going to happen.
Watching Mike Bobo’s playcalling is like watching a retarded kid with ADD in the middle of a room full of toys. Unless Richt starts making the tough decisions, he’s going to lose his job. The bad thing is that Richt is fast becoming the Bobby Cox of college football. He puts too much faith in his veterans and coaches, and the result will continue to be under-achieving teams (2005 is an exception, and 2002 should have been the National Champions had it not been for pathetic, conservative playcalling.
Lance
September 10th, 2009
2:45 pm
Tuck, I watched the UGA game last week and after that stellar performance against OSU, I can assure you Tech fans are anything but “jealous” of UGA.
Jeff Schultz
September 10th, 2009
2:46 pm
Folks – FYI, our Tim Tucker is reporting that the Internet report that Logan Gray will start for Georgia in place of Joe Cox is NOT true.
Evil Richt – Gray starting would not change my pick because I don’t know what to expect from this team either way.
Brad – Regardless of who starts, I’d be surprised if Gray didn’t get significant snaps.
Dart thrower – I wasn’t a loser last year. But 1-6 this year – not a good start.
Duder – yeah, I know the important stuff.
Pete
September 10th, 2009
3:17 pm
Two of the BEST things that EVER happened to Mr. Blank and the Falcons are :
1) The meltdown of Vick
2) The way the crumb Parcells lied and reneged on Blank, behind his back like a TRUE coward.
Because of these two events Blank hired Thomas Dimitroff who drafted Matt Ryan and changed the Falcons fortunes forever.
A TRUE blessing in disguise, if ever there was one.
Parcells is a pathetic over rated joke compared to Thomas Dimitroff.
Shaneneeee Faneneeeeeee
September 10th, 2009
4:30 pm
Stay up in the owners box Arthur,the players don’t want you down there during a game. -
Old Dawg
September 10th, 2009
4:36 pm
Jeff:
Great line about Jeremy Foley covering for Urban Meyer at Florida. Wish other teams could figure out how to start with such an easy slate!
OZZFEST
September 10th, 2009
4:37 pm
Are you a comedian or a sports writer? Typical AJC – this is a terrible attempt at both.
Cockyn FLL
September 10th, 2009
5:57 pm
The Mutts lose this weekend! Back to the Junkyard you goooooOOOOOOO COCKS!
Rawdog
September 10th, 2009
6:04 pm
Take Steelers -6.5 and over. Forget Tech and their high school offense. Clemson will laugh the whole game and cover +5. On a side note the Falcons have never had back to back winning seasons in their franchise history. Last season was a fluke. That means 6-10 or 7-9.
Cockyn FLL
September 10th, 2009
6:22 pm
Enter your comments here
Dennis
September 10th, 2009
6:56 pm
Every time I get to thinking I need to find a life, along comes someone like Fredric and I realize I’m okay after all.
As to Parcells, my philosiphy on him is simple: kill zero brain cells fretting over him.
Bull Butter
September 10th, 2009
7:24 pm
Falcons go 6-10 and lose first game to the fish.Defence will take time to develope. tech to defeat clemson 28-24. ga to lose to the cocks17-14.
David Smith
September 10th, 2009
7:45 pm
Falcons beat the Dolphins 31-24. I think the Falcons go 10-6 and win the NFC South while the Dolphins slip to 9-7 and spend January at home.
TheDawg
September 10th, 2009
11:27 pm
I hate to say it but I dont trust our D, Miami win 31-28
Big Ray
September 11th, 2009
1:22 am
Mark Richt is doing what his former boss at Florida State did: letting things slowly go to hell, and enjoying the money (and full autonomy) while it happens.
Big Ray
September 11th, 2009
1:24 am
Falcons go 9-7 and get their 2nd consecutive winning season.
Our best chance at winning is Michael Turner burning the ‘fins for 120 yards, and Abraham and Co. getting pressure on Chad Pennington. It will be a shootout.
Oh, and throw in a dash of Jerious Norwood. That can’t hurt…
And with the first pick, Miami takes ... not Matt Ryan! | Jeff Schultz
September 11th, 2009
3:22 pm
[...] other day in Weekend Predictions — a weekly and somewhat hallucinatory departure from this planet — I recounted how Bill Parcells solicited a job offer from Falcons [...]
SOUTH GA BIRD FAN
September 11th, 2009
3:52 pm
Since the Falcons are scrambling to patch up a young maybe talented secondary (very very young ) I think a call should be made to Prime Time I bet he can still run a 4.5 and play safety for 25 plays a game , which the way it looked in pre season might be one series. I am a huge fan and I support the Falcons , but the schedule is brutal and the D is so so young 8-8 maybe but probably a couple of plays a game from being 10-6 or 6-10 , hoping for the 10-6 and will be cheering even if its 6-10 GO FALCONS !!!!!!!!!!!!
Miami will be tough parcells isn’t all hype by the way .
Just a lifelong fans rambling Mr. shultz I appreciate the venue to air my meaningless thoughts keep up the great work.
Doyle Hargraves
September 12th, 2009
12:41 am
Dolphins are like penguins – they love ice cream. Only problem is they have flippers for arms and the ice cream drips onto their fins making it look like they have one thing in common with Heidi Klum 3 out of 4 Saturday nights.
Michael Turner and Gonzo are going to get medieval on their a$$es
Cackfan
September 12th, 2009
2:05 pm
UGA loses, and half the fans the commence to drink the laced kool-aid.
Mike
September 12th, 2009
4:09 pm
Alright, here is some perspective from the other side. Yes, the Falcons are a formidable opponent, especially on the road, but I expect a much closer game then some of you are predicting.
The Dolphins can win -IF- they can control the pace of the game. Also the special teams will need to step up a bit from a sloppy preseason showing. The wildcat should not be a major factor, but don’t be too surprised if you see it in limited form early. Where Miami will win or lose this game is in their ability of their (155mil) OL to control the Falcons defense and thereby control the time of possession battle.
Dolphins 17
Atlanta 16
Matt Jones likes powdered sugar
September 12th, 2009
7:20 pm
Born and raised in GA–and I’ve always despised UGA (even got my Masters degree at the school). Go figue. GOOOOOOO, Game Cocks (I hate them just a little less).
Kelli Garner
September 25th, 2009
4:41 pm
Great site, how do I subscribe?