There are at least two reasons why you are almost never going to read about the Atlanta Dream in this space: 1) I don’t care about them. 2) You don’t care about them.
An unmotivated writer and unmotivated readers make for a really bad combination, especially when you have editors looking at computer printouts and pie charts and screaming in your ears, “PAGE VIEWS PAGE VIEWS PAGE VIEWS!”
But today, I will write about the Atlanta Dream, for a few paragraphs. Why? Because they’re funny.
First let me catch you up: The Atlanta Dream is a women’s basketball team in the WNBA. I hope that’s all you need to know because I’m about tapped out.
According to the standings that I’m now looking at for the first time –it turns out the WNBA has a website and uniforms and everything — the Dream is 15-13. With six games left, they apparently have a chance to make the playoffs.
But there’s a problem. It seems the big boys are coming to town. Yes, I’m talking about, “Sesame Street Live!” Elmo has booked Philips Arena. You don’t want to get Elmo mad. And I think we know who wears the pants here.
If the Dream make the playoffs, they may not be able to play at Philips because the Muppets have booked the arena for eight shows Sept. 17-20. The team might have to move to Gwinnett, or Georgia Tech, or Georgia, or even in Knoxville, which I happen to believe is the best option, unless an auditorium is Rhode Island also is being considered.
Just so you know, I’m not a really big rules guy. But there’s one rule I’ve always followed: Don’t pay attention to any league whose home playoff games are bumped by “Sesame Street Live.”
Elmo, the floor is yours.