Here’s hoping Favre’s comeback ends in a faceplant
"I'd love to put this helmet on, but I can't seem to get it to fit my head."
Hey, weren’t we just here two years ago?
And six months ago?
And three weeks ago?
Brett Favre is coming back again. This brings his career totals to three un-retirements, which I believe qualifies him for a top 10 ranking by the WBC.
Three weeks ago, Minnesota’s invertebrate coach, Brad Childress, claimed Favre told him that he was officially retiring because he hadn’t sufficiently recovered from shoulder surgery. (Turned out to be just another lie — by both actually). At the time I wrote that Favre was retiring as the most selfish athlete in sports history. I believe that now more than ever before. Favre went from a former MVP and Super Bowl winner, a player to be admired for his courage and toughness, to somebody who really only cares about his own ego.
He is not someone to be admired any more. He’s someone to be mocked.
If I’m a fan, I don’t want him on my team. If I’m a teammate, I don’t want him in my locker room. If I’m forced to witness one more minute of this Hamlet act, I just want his leftover Vicodin because my head is killing me.
I want Brett Favre to fail. I want this to end with one of the most spectacular face plants in the history of comebacks. I want it for the same reason it was fun to watch the Terrell Owens experiment blow up in Dallas and the DeAngelo Hall experiment blow up in Oakland. Athletes who put their own cranium ahead of the game and their teammates and only exist because some sucker of an owner allow them to exist don’t deserve in be in uniform.
Brett Favre is a clown. He should be driven onto the field in a Volkswagen stuffed with other clowns in Week 1. In Week 6, he gets bonked with one of those oversized clubs. In Week 10, he loses a pie fight. In Week 16, his shoes explode.
That’s how I want Brett Favre to go out. Oh, and this: Lose to the Packers twice.
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106 comments Add your comment
Paul H
August 18th, 2009
4:24 pm
As much of a clown Favre might be, any team that signs him shares the same role.
Hillbilly Deluxe
August 18th, 2009
4:29 pm
I always liked Favre as a QB but he’s gotten to the point where he’s like stepping in dog poop, no matter how much you try you just can’t get rid of the smell.
Hanie
August 18th, 2009
4:35 pm
I too want Favre to fail. I’d like to see him throw a couple of pick sixes when playing the packers. I’m not a packers fan I just don’t like Favre anymore. I used to think he was a great quarterback now I just wish he would go away.
Howard
August 18th, 2009
4:40 pm
Bret Favre is nothing more than pro football’s version of a prostitute. Also if these NFL teams and stupid owners and coaches would stop facilitating his behavior with their lies and such, maybe he’d just slink back to Kiln, Miss. Of course, maybe that’s the reason he keeps coming back…could you imagine living out your golden years in Missy-state much less a town called Kiln?
Rock Preston
August 18th, 2009
4:43 pm
Well said Schultz! He is a complete narcissist!! …always needing attention this guy!!!
Sonny Clusters
August 18th, 2009
4:47 pm
We was kinda doing the same thing when we was not playing all that good and we said we didn’t care where we played and it was a business and we was gonna do the same thing and see what happens. We was being coy and Brett’s being coy now. They was a guy on our team named Coy but he got cut when Coach didn’t like the way he run.
e
August 18th, 2009
4:53 pm
Unfortunately, as the writer states, Favre has forever tarnished his legacy by pulling this trifecta of shenanigans. I agree with the writer. Now, I want him to become Bubba’s bitch.
Clonny Susters
August 18th, 2009
4:53 pm
When we was growing up, we was big fans of the Vikings, because of Fran Tarkenton, Bud Grant, Alan page and Chuck Foreman. Now what we is growing older, we kinda don’t like this Childress guy, or that Farve guy.
Firesign Theatre
August 18th, 2009
4:55 pm
I think we are all Bozo’s on this bus.
Herschel Talker
August 18th, 2009
5:01 pm
Schultzie – not counting Viking fans, does anyone want this boob to succeed? Brett Favre likes men
Einstein
August 18th, 2009
5:01 pm
Farve, Smoltz, Glavine, Namath, Motumbo (sp), S. Marbury, et al…birds of a feather. This is what happens when greed supercedes reality. Peace.
Billy
August 18th, 2009
5:02 pm
I’ve asked it before, and I’ll ask it again. If you hate Brett Favre so much, why do you keep talking about him?
Bobby Coccyx
August 18th, 2009
5:03 pm
Am I in the right place?
PMC
August 18th, 2009
5:05 pm
I think he was just jealous of all the media coverage Vick was getting.
What has this guy done in the last decade anyway?
The two most overrated QB’s in history are making the most news preseason go figure.
George C
August 18th, 2009
5:12 pm
These pretzels, ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!!!
Don Didrrrr
August 18th, 2009
5:14 pm
The packers will take care of him on the opening Monday night game. Hope he hurts his pinky finger.
Randy
August 18th, 2009
5:15 pm
I am not a Viking fan, I am a football fan. Cheers to Brett Favre who decides what he is going to do on his own terms.
Question: do we get to learn about any negotiations between who Jeff Schultz writes for and what he makes, etc. No? Then why should we care if Brett Favre and the Vikings wait until later to make a deal? It’s low-life journalists that make a big deal out of a decision that really shouldn’t matter to anyone other than the two parties that sign the contract.
bob
August 18th, 2009
5:18 pm
all this Favre bashing….ever stopped to remember….i dont recall in all those near season ends…all that media bull___, that started if all, not Brett…it is the media., you idiots that beleive everything you hear…the media makes their money by creating these stories, then lets the public play the whispering game with it.. leave him be…the great one that he is….
Joey
August 18th, 2009
5:18 pm
Farve is all of the things everyone here is calling him. He’s also very sly. No one in NFL history has missed more training camps. May he get leg cramps every game!
Tim Brandt
August 18th, 2009
5:25 pm
Randy, I would like to correct you. You mentioned low-life journalists…..I only agree with the first part as I don’t see much journalism here. Opinion piece at best.
I love how everyone says “Favre is back..again”. He never left if you ask me. He has earned the right to question retirement if you ask me. When he wants to go he can. I am a die hard Packer fan and I hope he does well.
Wanda
August 18th, 2009
5:27 pm
I’m delighted the Brett is playing again. I love to watch him play no matter which team. He truly enjoys the game and it shows.
Colonel
August 18th, 2009
5:29 pm
I’m with Schultz- Brett needs to go back to Mississippi. He’s like my mother in law- never knows when to go home.
Beautiful Monte
August 18th, 2009
5:30 pm
I have a few questions for Mr. Schultz:
Why, exactly, is Favre such a villain? As far as I can tell, his “crime” is wanting to play another season of football? In the overall scheme of things, what’s wrong with that? It’s not like he forced the Vikings to sign him.
You appear to be saying, “He just craves the attention.” My response to that is, “So what?” Does that make him unique among professional (or college, or high school) athletes? Does that make him worse than guys who are just in it for the money?
At the end of the day, you are ripping a guy who, for whatever reasons, wants to play one more season in the NFL. I mean, Favre hasn’t been imprisoned for operating a dog-fighting ring, or killed anybody while driving drunk, or fathered a half-dozen illegitimate children that he refuses to support, or whipped his wife’s arse.
And yet, you make Favre sound like the most vile and reprehensible human being who ever played in the NFL.
BTW, your Vicodin comment was a cheap shot, even for an employee of the AJC. Of course, maybe you’re just auditioning to replace Rodney Ho on the “Housewives” beat.
Starring Kam Fong as Chin Ho
August 18th, 2009
5:33 pm
Schultz is just jealous Farve didn’t tell him he was signing with Minn before he told ESPN. I think it’s called scoop envy.
itpdude
August 18th, 2009
5:34 pm
I’m hoping he does well because that is a fun story. It also shows how boring the NFL has gotten.
Honestly, the NFL is an afterthought compared to college football in my household.
GM
August 18th, 2009
5:38 pm
Of course, you realize this now means John David Booty will be available. Dimitroff, you watching this?
ilovewi
August 18th, 2009
5:46 pm
I guess Brett was planning this for awhile. You can already buy an official Brett Favre autographed, (photo of actual autographing included), Riddell Vikings helmet for $600.00 on Brett’s web site. I’m hoping for the face plant to come sooner than later. Imaging spending $600 for a two game tenure.
Denver Bird
August 18th, 2009
5:49 pm
PEOPLE! PEOPLE! ALL WE REALLY NEED TO KNOW IS…
“What does Ted Striker think”?????
Greg W
August 18th, 2009
5:50 pm
We will be at the Victory party at the Super Bowl while you are reading your psychology texts. What ever the diagnosis it means VIKINGS WIN THE SUPER BOWL. Brett Favre will go into the Hall of Fame as a Viking!!!
ilovewi
August 18th, 2009
5:52 pm
when pigs fly
BravesFan79
August 18th, 2009
5:56 pm
Einstein:
“Farve, Smoltz, Glavine, Namath, Motumbo (sp), S. Marbury, et al…birds of a feather. This is what happens when greed supercedes reality. Peace.”
Wow…. we now have people with IQ’s = to a mentally retarded person calling themselves Einstein??
First of all NONE of the people you mentioned should EVER be mentioned in the same sentence as scumbags like Lasting Millidge, Elijah Dukes, Pacman, Vick, OJ, Ray Carruth.
Did you just pull names out of the sky?? lets go over these names……….
Mutombo: gave millions to raise up hospitals in Africa. Probably the nicest and one of the best men you’ll find on the planet! Most black athletes spend their $$ on greedy material things like $50,000 diamond necklaces ( yes they are either 2 dumb or 2 selfish to realize other blacks currently in slavery are dying for these diamonds)
Glavine and Smoltz: Did what most people would do and left for a payraise somewhere else. They turned down more $ plenty of times earlier in their career to stay Braves and were some of the best teammates and rolemodels a kid could have.
Marbury: In a age where everyone wants to make millions off of selling shoes (that kids kill each other for in the city) this man wants to make shoes AFFORDABLE for working moms! His sneakers sold for around $30 dollars. Again… is that the work of a greedy person?
And your name is Einstein?? Do they take you back to your padded room after 5 oclock dinner? You either dont know sht about sports, or your 2 dumb to know the difference bt the real scumbags and the decent members of society that help others out at their own expense.
Yankee
August 18th, 2009
6:01 pm
I thought reality TV was fake, this makes me wonder.
BravesFan79
August 18th, 2009
6:05 pm
Im so glad Farve came back for one more year! Screw all the critics. Hes only getting criticized by all these white guilt liberal journalists who only have the balls to call out White Athletes while not calling out Athletes of other races that do far worse things!
Wheres the story critizing that constant woman beater Marshall of the Denver Broncos? Arent there FAR worse things to call out about athletes than someone that cant decide if he wants to retire or not??
Go Falcons, Go Vikings!! This just made the NFL season ALOT more interesting!!
The Grinch
August 18th, 2009
6:07 pm
Amen, Jeff. I respected Favre as a football player up until recently, but he has GOT to be the most pathetic, insecure, overrated, whiny little &^%$# in all of professional sports. Holding entire cities hostage every year just so he doesn’t have to go to training camp. Hey, Brett, maybe if you showed up early and got some reps in you might stop throwing six picks a game. What a total @$$-hat. I bet he wears his wife’s panties under his Wranglers.
Mark30339
August 18th, 2009
6:13 pm
Train-wrecks and soap operas sell more tickets than boy scouts — unless those boy scouts win playoff games. Remember when we thought Favre was a boy scout? All I want to know is whether the tour package for the Vikings facility includes Brett’s private shower and changing area. There’s no “i” in team, but it can be punctuated with a prima donnas.
T-bone
August 18th, 2009
6:21 pm
What is a “Volkwagon”? When you go on a diatribe like this one, Jeff, you must check your spelling. And the Vicodin comment is a cheap shot if there ever was one. I’m neither a Favre nor a Vikings fan, but why is everyone so upset with Brett Favre doing what Morten Anderson does every year?
Big Boy
August 18th, 2009
6:29 pm
Farve never really retired, did he? If he wants to play, and still can, then why not?
Dawggone-it
August 18th, 2009
6:29 pm
Why do you sportswriters take this story so seriously. Look if he wants to pull this stunt every year and a team will sign him, let it be. This reminds me of sportswriters- AKA “baseball purists” talking about HGH/Steriods and the sanctity of the game. Give me a break. In professional sports there is no sanctity of the game.
Brew
August 18th, 2009
6:31 pm
I’m telling you right now, that if Ted Thompson hadn’t pushed him out the door in Green Bay to play his own #1 pick Aaron Rodgers, Favre would have never retired the first time. If Ted Thompson wasn’t a punk, he’d have released Favre or traded him to the Vikings. After all, if Aaron Rodgers is better, Favre couldn’t possibly hurt GB with the Vikings, right? Favre would have never had to settle for the Jets, would have never retired a second time, and given what Minnesota had last year, would probably had another Super Bowl appearance in the bank.
Screw Ted Thompson.
Mike S
August 18th, 2009
6:36 pm
Hmm let’s see… why would Minnesota sign Brett Favre?????
Tarvaris Jackson – 10 W 9 L – 3324 yds – 20 TD – 18 int – career 76.5 rating
Sage Rosenfels – 6 W 6 L – 4156 yds – 30 Td – 29 Int – career 81.2 rating
Brett favre – 169 W 100 L – 65127 yds – 464 TD – 310 Int – career 85.4 rating – 10 All pro – 4 MVP – 1 SB win
Nope I can see no reason at all for Minnesota to take a chance on Favre.
Dkchap
August 18th, 2009
6:39 pm
Jeff, get over it. Its entertainment. We pay movie stars millions to act in films and still go see them after they’ve acted like idiots. So, he wants to play another year. That’s between the Vikings and him and the fan base. If you don’t like Farve, don’t watch the Vikings. Last I heard he wasn’t arrested for DUI manslaughter, carrying a gun in a club or some other act. Its just entertainment.
Jay "Numbnuts" Bookwoman
August 18th, 2009
6:46 pm
Ask his former teamates what they think of this clown. Former Jets teamates, had plenty to say.
hmmmm
August 18th, 2009
6:49 pm
Lets see Favre likes playing, he can play, and a team wants him to play so why the beat down on him. No one comes to your job and tells you you should quit at 40. Jeez people its a game.
Uncle Dave
August 18th, 2009
6:53 pm
Dude… who bogarted your mellow? In this post you seem to have lost the detached cynicism that defines your lofty wise cracking laugh on the way to the apocalypse persona. Do I detect actual emotional connection? What exactly does Mr. Favre represent to you? Admittedly he is a jerk… were you in Atlanta when he breezed through the Buckhead bar scene? Regardless, I suggest you take three Aleves, watch North Dallas Forty on your DVD, and get a good night’s sleep. In the morning you will feel like the “real Jeff,” who lives in the “real America.”
Chris
August 18th, 2009
6:53 pm
Cry more.
It’s going to be great entertainment. What’s not to like about that?
Jsens3
August 18th, 2009
6:57 pm
I agree totally with Dkchap. Can’t believe anybody gets so worked up about a pro football player’s business decisions unless they are envious of the twelve million dollars it is reported Farve will be paid.
Bill
August 18th, 2009
6:57 pm
When Jeff “Nincompoop” Schultz earns enough credentials from writing for what ever rag he calls home to carry water for Farve we will all be drooling in a nursing home. Until then he should try and respect a Hall of Famer.
Big B CH 99
August 18th, 2009
7:00 pm
I think it would be downright hilarious if he throws Pick-6 on his first pass. Definitely get creamed by Green bay twice.
He just didn’t want to go to Camp. I hope he throws 100 picks this yr.
Country Boy
August 18th, 2009
7:03 pm
Fact of the Matter is that he is now the best quaterback on the Vikings roster – and most consider them to be a playoff caliber team.
Pam Thorbahn
August 18th, 2009
7:05 pm
I am a dyed in the wool Packer fan. But no longer a Brett Favre fan. This is the most unloyal
thing he could ever have done. I hope Green Bay forgerts to retire his jersey. He didn’t
retire, he became a traitor. It’s not like he needs the money. Must be the attention!