Schultz’s Digi-Blog goes to Falcons training camp!

FLOWERY BRANCH — Welcome back to another Digi-Blog. In our inaugural digital photo tour through SEC Media Days, we learned just how many people in the state of Alabama have nothing better to do than crowd into a hotel lobby, hoping to get a glimpse of Nick Saban and stand within Moon Pie-chucking range of Phil Fulmer.

This weekend, I visited the opening of Falcons training camp in Flowery Branch. If you’ve never been to Flowery Branch, it’s the place where you wind up when you accidentally overshoot Lake Lanier Islands. You’ll know it because there will be a sign just off Interstate 985 that reads: “Welcome to Flowery Branch: It’s not the end of the world but you can see it from here.”

Anyway, on with the tour. As always, people, keep your arms and legs inside at all times. And remember, we work off tips.

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These are the gates outside of the Falcons’ practice facility. The team holds training camp here and is based here all season. Note, the gates are locked.

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There are a privileged few of us who know the secret code to get in. But I’m guessing officials from the city of Flowery Branch will now mandate the code be changed and that I not be told the new one, given how I’ve just likened their town to Winnipeg.

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Before we go inside, I know everybody has been wondering whatever happened to Bobby Petrino.

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The Falcons have a number of things set up for fans at training camp. But you can imagine my reaction when I saw this: Cheerleader autographs — 17 OR UNDER ONLY?!?!

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Ahhh. Much better. Thank you to my new pen pals, Erika (left) and Denita. And now, let me drift back to a time when I could talk to two pretty girls and their combined ages actually exceeded mine.

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Most fans come to training camp just to watch practice. Frankly, I’m not sure I’d want to spend an off day doing that. Maybe it’s because I spend so many work days doing it. Fans cheered every time Matt Ryan completed a pass to Tony Gonzalez, which was often because his usual target, Roddy White, is somewhere in air conditioning.

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After practice, you can get autographs. (Please do not ask, “Who are you?” or, “Can you give this football to someone famous to sign?”)

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Most fans are pretty normal. This guy, Michael “Stats” Wallin, would be the exception. It looks like he’s scaring the kid on the left. Heck, he scared me. “I probably look a little bit extreme,” he conceded. “But this is my personality.” “Stats” does tree work in real life. Not sure if he ever fell out of one.

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Stats’ claims his jersey is authentic. But if you’ll settle for a replica, you can buy one. I thought about it but they seemed to be out of my lucky number 7.

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You can even buy an authentic Falcons’ purse, just like the one used by DeAngelo Hall.

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Sometimes, fans get to see things the team would rather keep in-house. For example, here’s safety Eric Brock, clearly dejected and leaning on his knees after getting scolded by assistant coach Joe Danna for wearing the wrong-colored beanie, I think.

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Late in training camp, the Falcons take the final five candidates for the punt coverage team and drop them from here. The lone survivor wins a roster spot.

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OK, enough of this boring stuff. General manager Thomas Dimitroff seems distracted, so . . .

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… let’s go inside the building.

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Wow. It’s amazing the things they can do with peel-and-stick tiles.

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“And for his outstanding performance in the role of Christopher Boyce as ‘The Falcon,’ the Oscar goes to …” (Sorry, Arthur. Couldn’t resist.)

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The walls lining the hallway leading to the locker room are covered with photos of Falcons players, past and present. I’m assuming the ones of Michael Vick were being dusted, because I couldn’t find them.

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This is Laura Godsey Moore, executive assistant to Dimitroff. Do not misjudge her smile. She picked up blunt objects with both hands when I took a step toward Dimitroff’s office. But $20 got me through the door.

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Dimitroff calls this his “BFR list.” It’s hanging behind his desk and breaks down the odds of making it in the NFL. And so ended my thoughts of a tryout.

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Next to the BFR list is Dimitroff’s credenza. Laura (still holding blunt objects) told me that behind those two doors on the right are everything important to him — draft books, salary cap information, video tapes, scouting information he brought with him from New England and probably the coordinates of Russian spy satellites. And no, another $20 couldn’t convince her to open the doors.

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This was Dimitroff later, not looking amused when I asked him if I could see what was in his office.

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And here he is when he found out I was already there. (True story: When I asked him what would happen to me if I actually saw something, he said: “You might be hired for a very large salary.”)

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By the way, this is the view from the porch outside the second-floor executive offices. I would’ve stayed but none of the phones in Dimitroff’s office showed an extension for room service.

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This is Arthur Blank’s office. I wasn’t concerned about Laura attacking me if got any closer to the desk — just Uzi-carrying Secret Service agents.

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Meanwhile, here is Blank outside, signing autographs. That’s the Falcons’ executive vice president, Kim Shreckengost with him, I believe asking fans seeking autographs to either buy season tickets or drop something into the change cup for a new stadium. (Pretty sure she’s going to kill me for that.)

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Coach Mike Smith patiently answers questions about dealing with the distractions of Roddy White’s absence and reports of a media spy infiltrating their offices. That’s vice president of communications Reggie Roberts standing behind Smith, regretting giving me access.

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So ends our tour. Hope you enjoyed it. If you have suggestions for another Digi-Blog, pass them along.