OK, guess I should start typin’ again
This oil painting by Ford Madox Brown is called, "Work." That's me in the center, with the sailor shirt and the Bud, preparing for the 7 a.m. blog. (Editors keeping hands clean on the right.)
It occurred to me I haven’t written anything since Sarah Palin had a job. So I figured I had better post something soon, lest you start to think I’m running for President, clearing my calendar for a book tour and escaping political office before emails, potential ethics violations in Alaska (who knew that was even possible?) or damning statements by my daughter’s ex-boyfriend smudges my makeup.
Hello. I am back. Well, almost.
Took a couple of weeks off and I’ll be back for at least a few weeks starting with a column Sunday night in cyberspace and Monday in print (maybe an oil on canvas).
We’re getting close enough to football now that I figured it was worth it. Also, the Braves are close to entering the All-Star break and this seemed like a good time to assess their chances in the National League East, especially given they’re 3-4 (as of this typing) against the Nationals, Cubs and Rockies since sweeping the Phillies. Hmmm.
Any column topics to suggest? Wait. Don’t tell me.
FIRE BOBBY COX!
TRADE JEFF FRANCOEUR!
I DON’T CARE — GEORGIA-OKLAHOMA STATE IS JUST 57 DAYS AWAY!
Back soon.
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71 comments Add your comment
Michael
July 10th, 2009
11:48 am
Not a moment too soon. I think Bradley’s on the verge of collapse from overwork. I heard he’s standing in a corner facing the wall, sucking his thumb and mumbling something about wanting to promote Francoeur to player-manager. He needs a break.
Brendan
July 10th, 2009
12:03 pm
Any more FA signins for Ilya Kovalchuk? Or have the Thrashers already quit on him?
tony
July 10th, 2009
12:04 pm
Never knew you were away. How about staying gone.
The Wreck
July 10th, 2009
12:05 pm
Who are the Thrashers and what is a Kovalchuk?
Disgruntled Dawg
July 10th, 2009
12:07 pm
BTW You need to light a fire under Chipper Towers, Bill King is getting so repetitive with his blogs. Just the same ole drivel !
All I'm Saying Is...
July 10th, 2009
12:12 pm
Welcome back! You still are who we thought you were or did you come back as someone else?
MikeInValdosta
July 10th, 2009
12:24 pm
I DON’T CARE — GEORGIA-OKLAHOMA STATE IS JUST 57 DAYS AWAY!
Herschel Talker
July 10th, 2009
12:27 pm
FIRE BOOBY! BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!
Stick a fork in the Braves. They are done.
Jeff – Have a nice Tisha B’Av.
Cuz
July 10th, 2009
12:35 pm
Disgruntled, Towers is no longer the Beat writer for UGA.
Jeff, I thought you waited til 10:00 AM to hit those Buds. Next thing you will tell me is that you signed up for a Hunting license.
Bryan G.
July 10th, 2009
12:44 pm
How about a blog on how in the world could you let someone rape someone at your house? I’m talking to you, Harry Douglas.
rebar
July 10th, 2009
12:53 pm
What do you mean you’ll be back, at least for a few weeks? Are you jumping ship on us, too? Say it ain’t sore!
Mrs. Chanandler Bong
July 10th, 2009
12:55 pm
Jeff, don’t listen to Tony. That was mean. I will say MB has done well in your absence, popping out more blogs in a day than Kate Gosselin can pop out kids.
Tim
July 10th, 2009
12:56 pm
No, don’t fire Bobby Cox. I don’t want to lose him. But, DO ask him why puts in a hot hitter late in the game, only to have him bunt. Aren’t our pitchers able to lay one down and move that runner over?
Coach (2010 or Bust)
July 10th, 2009
1:14 pm
Hey Schultz, you wouldn’t be one of those jack booted far left wing Liberal Demowhacks, would you????????
Disgruntled Dawg
July 10th, 2009
1:21 pm
What happened to Towers Ive been away for a while?
Ted Striker
July 10th, 2009
1:37 pm
If you’re gonna start typing, I’m gonna start drinking. (Not that there’s a connection, I just wanted an excuse).
ATL FAN
July 10th, 2009
1:51 pm
TO COACH (2010 or Bust)… as opposed to Schultz being a far right wing, intolerant, reactionary, kill-a-commie-for-mommy, jarhead, hick, hyper-Christian, “family-valued,” use-the-word-god-in-every-sentence-but-still-commit-extra-marital-affairs…. Repugnican, instead?
azcat225
July 10th, 2009
1:53 pm
Bryan G.—Douglas “let” some one commit rape in his house? With logic leaps like that, you could skip jumping the Snake River canyon (R.I.P., Evel…) and easily clear the Grand Canyon at its widest point.
Does the word ‘libel’ have any meaning to you?
Btw, welcome back, Jeff. I assume you burned out at least one blender while you were away.
Bill Lomey
July 10th, 2009
2:01 pm
Man, I didn’t think I could make it without Jeff, but I managed!!
MannyT
July 10th, 2009
2:08 pm
If I recall, the Harry Douglas situation is similar to something that happened with Patrick Kearney a few years ago. I think the ladies should be wary of those offseason house parties.
As for topics, go rouge for a day or two–pick a topic from the NBC Universal Sports channel. Something that has an Olympic slant in a non-Olympic year. I’d guess that there is a Gergia talent on one of those teams. Interest started after the 1996 Games…and now (s)he’s a world class cyclist, rower, diver, etc.
nemov
July 10th, 2009
2:11 pm
I just sent this to the Wall Street Journal’s “Best of the Web” for their “Want to be Pundits” section. Anyone familar with that should know why this entry is an obvious contender.
Sage of Blueland
July 10th, 2009
2:12 pm
Please don’t start typing again. Not on our account…
Chris Broe
July 10th, 2009
2:15 pm
Ga Oklahoma is not the super bowl. give it a rest. I personally can’t stand the sight of Bobby Cox, but if he gets past the first round in the playoffs this year, I’ll call him a genius. The umpiring seems improved this year. I saw one really bad call last week, but it was on a whiffle ball website, but it still made me mad. Kill the umpire!
RAMBLE ON!!!
July 10th, 2009
2:16 pm
Take all the time you need Big Boy. No one likes you anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2jxYBxLWP0&feature=channel_page
how’d that get in here?
club soda
July 10th, 2009
2:30 pm
Nice cheap shot at Sarah Palin. People like you help ensure that decent people don’t run for office. Instead, we get corrupt creepocrats and cleptocrats. By the way, the proper word is “lest”, not “less”, as in… “lest you start to think I’m running for President…”
Otto
July 10th, 2009
2:36 pm
I like this one:
I DON’T CARE — GEORGIA-OKLAHOMA STATE IS JUST 57 DAYS AWAY!
PS Please include pics of hot cheerleaders.
oldmike
July 10th, 2009
2:48 pm
I thought the purpose of a blog was to have some interaction between the blogger – you Jeff – and us – the fans and/or readers of the blog. I’ll go a hundred posts and not see any replies at times. What’s up with that. And, let’s keep politics out of this forum. Sports is corrupt in it’s own slimy fashion without the need to interjecting Red and Blue slants. So, Bobby Cox sits Francoeur for several games and replaces him with a productive hitter – Diaz. The puts Diaz back on the bench and plays Francoeur again. This after Diaz delivers. Don’t get it.
Anybody our there who does?
Gen Neyland
July 10th, 2009
3:35 pm
Jeffy : Comic relief isn’t limited to the Braves bullpen. Thanks for jump’n back in the fray…
wxwax
July 10th, 2009
4:55 pm
Miles and Miles of Luck?
Les Miles converted Nick Saban’s recruits and his own gambling luck into a national championship. But it’s a new era on the Bayou. Now Miles has to rely on his own recruits. And no man’s luck lasts forever. Will LSU regret signing him through 2012?
JSS
July 10th, 2009
5:23 pm
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why can’t peace and serenity continue to reign?
Jeff, sorry for that supporter (inside joke)
Till the end… When is your next vacation?
AJC Sports Reader
July 10th, 2009
5:53 pm
I thought I noticed a recent AJC improvement. Thought it was because Terence Moore got axed.
Hope you left that arrogant know it all smart arse attitude that everyone who has met you comments on at the beach. Lets face it – Terence was forced out and at your age you have burned too many bridges to start over.
Your Friday college football articles do make me miss Lenard’s Losers from 30 years ago. His were funny though and not mean like what you write. It would be nice to see a new Jeff Shultz.
That said, see what you can do to get Mr Automatic Out – Jeff Francoeur – traded. My mother could strike him out and she is 87 years old and walks with a cane.
And if you must create a controversy in order to satisfy some AJC manager, write an article on if Mike Vick should be allowed to play in the NFL again. That is always good for laughs and brings out the best in the readers.
If Atlanta ever gets a professional ice hockey team or basketball team then that might be interesting.
Just remember that college athletes are students trying to do their best even when it is not good enough to win. Try not to be too demeaning to them when they fail. I am sure they feel bad enough about it with out you denigrating them.
And I hope you will not write any more ugly comments about high school students that play football. Minors should be off limits to sex offenders and sports writers. They have so much in common abusing kids for their own gratification.
Hope this helps now that you are back. Maybe you can turn over a new leaf.
Supes
July 10th, 2009
5:55 pm
Calling out Frank Wren for his wrong decision making on all the OF moves (other than acquiring McLouth), and on banking that KJ will NOT be as streaky as before while playing 2B.
It’s time for the soft AJC media to call out Wren.
You all gave him so much credit (and deservingly so) for fixing our SP issues. Now it’s time to be fair and balanced!
Let’s see some “tough reporting” on behalf of the AJC.
Henry D.
July 10th, 2009
6:16 pm
BRAVES HAVE JUST TRADED FRANCOUR TO THE METS FOR RYAN CHURCH.
brave1
July 10th, 2009
6:23 pm
I think we should trade Jeff Fr….oh, never mind.
Jeff Schultz
July 10th, 2009
6:42 pm
Brendan – should be interesting to watch the Ilya-in-last-year dynamic (assuming he doesn’t sign before season).
Tony – Thanks for the love.
Disgruntled Dawg — Chip would love to have a fire lit below him but he’s not doing the Dawg stuff any more. He went to news desk in last re-org.
All I’m saying – I have no idea who I am.
Mike – I actually counted the days, you know. Impressed?
Jeff Schultz
July 10th, 2009
6:48 pm
Rebar – still have a week of vacation left, actually. Not sure when/how I’ll take it.
Coach –“jack booted far left wing Liberal Demowhacks” Wow. I think that’s a quadruple redundancy.
Striker – No reason necessary to drink.
Atl Fan – Oh goody. Now I can just sit back and watch you two go at it.
Jeff Schultz
July 10th, 2009
6:50 pm
Oldmike – I was kidnapped and taken to antiques show today. Just got home. And, well, I am still on vacation.
scottbravesfan
July 10th, 2009
6:51 pm
Anything but redneck college football. If you want to talk about football please talk about the Falcons. Just talk about any sport that has some sort of logical playoff system.
Sonny Clusters
July 10th, 2009
7:00 pm
Hey Jeff, we was glad to see you back. Well the Braves have messed up now trading Jeff when they coulda kept him instead. We was state champion when we was playing ball together back in school and I dont think Ryan Church was ever state champion. Did I mention we was glad to see you back? Glad and at the same time sad to see a old teammate when we was playing ball together back in school going away. Will Jeff take some pitches in New York and what will those fans do when he kills every rally they has?
Sonny Clusters
July 10th, 2009
7:04 pm
Hey Jeff, did the AJC finally brake a story about Jeff getting traded or did somebody else scoop the beat reporter? I heard the Macon Telegraph might be the best sourse for Braves beat reporting and the next is the Farmers Almanack. When we was playing ball together back in school Jeff only talked to Linda Swensen the girl on the school paper that had big, er, had blonde hair from Sweden. She could sure write some storys.
Devildog
July 10th, 2009
7:26 pm
Trade Chipper to an AL team for a good hitter who can go a week without sitting with an injured pinkie.
He CAN hit so DL might benefit him since he can’t fall down and hurt himself chasing baseballs.
This is the trade they should have gone after instead of tossing Francour.
Of course, other teams know Chipper is a whiny, injury prone weenie, too, don’t they?
Ted Striker
July 10th, 2009
7:42 pm
I’ve been drinking since 1:30 — they still had alcohol at the bar and it was a shame to let it go to waste — and one of the women in the painting by Ford Madox Brown is beginning to look sorta hot.
JSS
July 10th, 2009
7:44 pm
Sonny, Bill Shanks is not a source. He is a symptom of what is wrong… Hasn’t been right on a player in the organization for years… Wow, he sure burned bridges… Only the Braves are sinking as fast as the Metropolitans…
Notty
July 10th, 2009
8:30 pm
I’LL BE AT THE STEWEY AWARDS POST PARTY, HOSTED BY THE 2 LIVE STEWS AND 790 AM THE ZONE, TOMORROW JULY 11TH AT THE W. MIDTOWN. WILL U B THERE??
Sonny Clusters
July 10th, 2009
8:49 pm
Me and Jeff was going to go out on the town and reminince but I guess thats out now with Jeff being gone and all. When we was playing ball together back in school Jeff and me would always hang out at the Dairy Queen and I suspect thats what Jeff will do in New York when he finds out where the Dairy Queen is. If he dont hit though I guess they will make him pay for his ice cream instead of giving it to him when we was state champions. If Jeff dont hit in New York they might send him to Buffalo and that wouldnt make him happy even with a Dairy Queen. I was always a pretty good ballplayer when we was playing ball together but I got me a good job and Jeff cant seem to hold one.
Thunderbull56
July 10th, 2009
11:23 pm
Jeffy,stay gone.Uther than your trembling chihuahuaha’s predictions, can’t say I, nor anyone else is missing you.Noticed Furm does about one edidtorial a month now, why not you? Run with the Bulls or something.Bull.
Tron5000
July 11th, 2009
4:16 am
Hey Jeff, how’s that stimulus package working out for you? At least you still have a job (unlike roughly 10% of the population). Hope your makeup isn’t too smudged to join the rest of us dumb masses.
Ted Striker
July 11th, 2009
7:49 am
What the heck does Jeff Schultz have to do with the stimulus package? Lighten up, smile, have a drink. Yeah it’s early but it’s Saturday. (WARNING: Less than 24 hours before we have to move it to a restaurant or the airport if we want to drink publicly)
Uncle Dave
July 11th, 2009
8:45 am
I know you are a little rusty Shultzy (see item 4 below).
Here is some writers block prevention to ease you bak into the groove, with apologies to Letterman. Here are the Top 10 Possible topics for Chihuahua loving columnists trying to prevent the end of sports journalism:
10. That Herschel Walker sure was good…
9. College football off season continues(film of empty stadium at 11:00)
8. High School senior grapples ruthlessly for points
7. Local Cagers go Greek for prodigal Forward
6. Huddle etiquette: How far is too far?
5. Richt institutes Alcohol free Polka parties after off season workouts
4. Nickname tips from “Coxie”
3. Satan mandates Blogs for all residents of Hell
2. Mark Sanford explains the infield fly rule
1. John Kincaid admits he made a mistake once, but cannot remember details
Be-little, BeBOLD
July 11th, 2009
9:54 am
Our little bird (Wren, acting as GM) has finished his nest and laid an egg . . . you get the jest!