There’s a victory parade in Pittsburgh today for the Penguins’ third Stanley Cup since 1991.
There’s a victory parade in Los Angeles Wednesday for the Lakers’ seventh NBA title since 1985.
I think there was a victory parade in Atlanta once. But I guess because of construction and traffic on Peachtree, we just don’t have room for them any more.
I did a little research. (It happens sometimes.) This is one of those things you kinda know the answer to even before you look it up. But here goes: We stink.
Giving away the ending to this blog: Atlanta is not among the leaders in victory parades. The good news is, we’re ahead of Cleveland, which hasn’t won bupkis, thanks to a David Justice home run 14 years ago.
The Penguins’ Cup win means Pittsburgh will hold its second parade in about five months. This follows the Steelers’ Super Bowl parade about five months ago. It’s no wonder my wife, the West Mifflin girl, has reached a new level of obnoxiousness. She summarized her hometown this way: “We might fall a little short in the social graces, but we know how to pick teams.”
So, I guess in this comparison, we have social graces?
I broke down 29 cities — actually, 29 media markets; I’m combining Los Angeles/Anaheim, San Francisco/Oakland, New York/New Jersey — with teams in the NFL, Major League Baseball, the NBA and NHL. Simple exercise. Count up Super Bowls, World Series, NBA titles and Stanley Cups since 1984. I picked 1984 as a starting point for three reasons: 1) It sound cool and Orwellian; 2) It makes for a span of 25 years, which is a nice round number; 3) It’s long enough ago to include the Braves’ World Series title in 1995.
Since I went by the actual calendar year, and labor issues voided one World Series and one Stanley Cup, the number of titles is not equal in all sports.
Here goes. These are . . .
♦ 12: New York/New Jersey (5 WS, 3 SB, 4 SC)
♦ 11: Los Angeles/Anaheim (2 WS, 1 SB, 7 NBA, 1 SC)
♦ 8: Boston/New England (2 WS, 3 SB, 3 NBA)
♦ 6: Chicago (1 WS, 1 SB, 6 NBA)
♦ 6: Detroit (1 WS, 3 NBA, 4 SC)
♦ 0 (with number of pro teams): Cleveland (3), Buffalo (2), Charlotte (2), Nashville (2), New Orleans (2), San Diego (2), Seattle (2), Jacksonville (1), Milwaukee (1), Memphis (1), Oklahoma City (1), Portland (1), Salt Lake City (1), Sacramento (1).
♦ 1: Atlanta (WS), Baltimore (SB), Calgary (SC), Cincinnati (WS), Green Bay (SB), Indianapolis (SB), Kansas City (WS), Philadelphia (WS), Phoenix (WS), Raleigh (SC), Tampa (SC).
♦ 5: Pittsburgh (2 SB, 3 SC), San Francisco/Oakland (1 WS, 4 SB), Edmonton (5 SC).
♦ 4: Dallas (3 SB, 1 SC), Denver (2 SB, 2 SC), San Antonio (4 NBA).
♦ 3: Miami (2 WS, 1 NBA).
♦ 2: Houston (2 NBA), Minnesota (2 WS), Montreal (2 SC), St. Louis (1 WS, 1 SB), Tampa (1 SB, 1 SC),Toronto (2 WS), Washington (2 SB).
I’ll leave you with this. After the Falcons traded for Tony Gonzales, the perennial Pro Bowl tight end said: “I’m here for one reason, that’s to win a Super Bowl.”
I hope he brought the parade permits with him.
Because we seem to have misplaced ours.