Smoltz back on mound — and we shouldn’t be surprised

Greenville's starting battery Thursday: John Smoltz, 42, and Tim Federowicz, 21. (AP photo.)

AUGUSTA – He was just married last weekend and made his season minor-league pitching debut Thursday night, none of which would be that unusual if John Smoltz wasn’t 42 and looking slightly out of place with teammates shortly removed from their high school proms.

“I was in A ball in 1986 when a lot of these guys weren’t even born,” he said. “Their meal money is $29. Mine was $4.50. It was McDonald’s every night. They won’t be eating McDonald’s tonight.”

Welcome to another John Smoltz rehab assignment. Not sure how many this makes now. But it has to go down as his most difficult — less because he’s coming off surgery for a torn labrum last June than the fact he was set to pitch in a stadium just 1.6 miles from Augusta National (venue for his other passion: golf).

“Drove by it on the way here,” he said, smiling, before his scheduled start. “Beautiful place. Played there with Tiger two years ago.”

When he is finished with baseball, he wants to play on the Senior’s Tour. But this is was about putting that off for a while.

Smoltz allowed one hit in three innings in his first action since surgery last June. (AP photo.)

Smoltz allowed one hit in three innings in his first action since surgery last June. (AP photo.)

After being drop-kicked by the Braves in negotiations last winter, Smoltz signed with Boston. After some delays, his first start came with Single-A Greenville, ironically a former Braves’ affiliate, and in his home state for 21 years. His arm didn’t fall off. Pitching in a packed Lake Olmstead Stadium — it also was $1 beer night — he allowed one hit in three innings and struck out two. He said he threw at “80-85 percent.”

 

“Mentally, this did a lot for me,” said Smoltz, who then catered a post-game spread for teammates.

His Greenville teammates were appropriately awed. Center fielder Pete Hissey, 19, said: “We were all in front of our lockers with a baseball and pen waiting when he got here. And then we’re like, ‘OK, who’s going to be the first to ask him for an autograph?’”

Better hurry. Boston’s plans are for Smoltz to pitch Tuesday in Double-A Portland, Me., and then move on to Triple-A Pawtucket in the next few weeks.

“I’m progressing toward the middle of June,” he said. “And then, uh, yeah — I know what that means.”

Braves at Fenway Park: June 19-21. Red Sox at Turner Field: June 26-28.

Smoltz on the timing: “I could take it or leave it. Probably leave it, actually. If it were my fifth or sixth start, it would be no big deal. But if it’s my second or first, it’s almost bigger than I want it to be.”

Sorry. Not buying that one.

Nothing is ever bigger than John Smoltz wants it to be. It’s a reason he’ll go down as possibly Atlanta sports’ greatest competitor. To make yet another improbable comeback from another career-threatening injury and do it against the Braves? Nothing would be sweeter for him.

This rehab stint never should have come in the uniform of a Boston affiliate. The Braves’ low-balling of Smoltz would have ranked as one of the franchise’s worst decisions ever even if he had spontaneously combusted Thursday (he didn’t). They guaranteed $2 million to a pitcher who provided them with the greatest post-season moments in their history, defying medical and baseball logic in the process. The Red Sox knew him only from highlights. They guaranteed $5.5 million.

Smoltz said, “What drives me is I still love pitching. I’m not out to prove anybody wrong. I believe I’m good enough to dominate. I don’t believe I’m just good enough to get by. For what I did the longest time in Atlanta, it’s understood what I’ve overcome.”

But it’s easy to pick up on some lingering bitterness from his departure, specifically comments from Braves executive Terence McGuirk. “He said something like, ‘I don’t know where John’s head is at. We offered him the same contract.’ It wasn’t close to the same.”

But he was mostly smiles. He pitched two innings of a simulated game in Ft. Myers last Friday, then returned to his Alpharetta home for his second marriage, to Kathryn Darden, then back to Ft. Myers, Fla., for more work.

The rehab schedule of late has been “like a series of quarterback audibles,” given his strength and weather conditions. The Sox have tried to keep him on a slow, steady pace. “Spring training was like going to Augusta National, and all you can do is hit a pitching wedge off the green. And you’re so close, you’re right there and you want to play, but you can’t.”

He was back on a mound Thursday, wearing No. 29, and was introduced as “future Hall of Famer, John Smoltz.” And it didn’t look like the end.

76 comments Add your comment

Reid Adair

May 21st, 2009
7:43 pm

Letting John Smoltz go was, in my mind, the worst off-season move for the Braves. After everything that he has done for the Braves organization and the city of Atlanta, to cast him out like that was horrible.

I hope his rehab progresses on schedule for him to be with the Red Sox during those two mid-June series, and while I am a Braves fan through and through, I hope he sticks it to them good.

I can hear Frank Wren now. “We made a decision, and we stick by that.”

Whatever.

David Woleslagle

May 21st, 2009
8:40 pm

Jeff,
I Iove Smoltz, and all he did for the Braves over the years, but he left because he wanted a shot at a ring. The Braves guaranteed him $2.5M, not chump change for a 42-year-old guy coming off surgery. The incentives to get to $10M were lame, much better in the Sox offer. The Braves needed him coming out of ST, the Sox wanted him for down the stretch and into the postseason. The Brave’s offer was good, the Sox’ was better. No slam, but he went for the money & the ring potential. Only critique is that he should admit it. Let’s face it, he did a lot for the team, but they also paid him $14M to be injured last year.

Mike Lum

May 21st, 2009
8:43 pm

I wish Smoltz the best, but Wren made the right decision…lining up a staff of Lowe, JJ, and Vasquez. We didn’t need a repeat of last year’s injury parade…Smoltz, Glavine, Hudson, Gonzalez, Soriano, Moylan, etc. KK may not work out, but Hanson, Medlin, Glavine, Hudson (& others at AAA) show the reworked pitching staff can operate without taking the expensive chance Smoltz doesn’t work out. Sure, he’s a competitor and long-time brave, but being sentimental doesn’t win championships. It’s time to move forward.

Mike Lum

May 21st, 2009
8:45 pm

Good point about the ring, David W. Will be funny if the Braves make the playoffs and Boston doesn’t. Even funnier if we have Hudson in the bullpen.

Realist

May 21st, 2009
8:52 pm

Show me where Smoltz denies taking more money?

David Woleslagle

May 21st, 2009
8:57 pm

David Woleslagle

May 21st, 2009
9:05 pm

Mike Lum – and I’ve been a Braves’ fan long enough to remember your salad days, I’m with you! Would love to see that, and I have dreams about a Huddy-Lowe-Jurgens-Vazquez – Hanson rotation next year.

Ted Striker

May 21st, 2009
9:21 pm

Jeff — $1 beer and John Smoltz. No wonder you took the assignment. Had Elisha Cuthbert also been throwing out the first pitch, you’d have left for Augusta at 6 am.

The lounge at White Columns Inn (Thomson) serves a killer margarita if you get thirsty on the lonnng drive back. Occasionally I get tired and have to stretch my legs and get some vitamin c. It’s in there, you know.

Jeff Schultz

May 21st, 2009
9:39 pm

Ted — had Elisha Cuthbert been throwing out the first pitch, I’d be catching.

To others: On Smoltz. I’ve stated this before in columns but it bears repeating: As Smoltz has said, he’s had four opportunities to leave the Braves before, certainly for more money the last couple of times. If it was all about money, he could’ve left a long time ago. When the Braves guaranteed only $2 million, they basically were saying, “We don’t really want you.” And that’s fine. But in my view — and the opinion of many — this was the one player in this franchise you don’t do that to. Because, even in the WORST CASE SCENARIO, you give him $5 million and he doesn’t pitch again — so what? He was worth it. You could’ve basically has the same pitching staff you have now with Smoltz potentially coming in. Furthermore, for all he has given the franchise, for the sacrifices he made, he was worth a $5 million gold watch, even if he didn’t pitch again.

Chipper Jones put it best last January: “With all of the gambles that the Atlanta Braves have taken over the years on players, for a couple of million more dollars you don’t gamble on John Smoltz when he tells you he’s going to be back?”

You’re certainly entitled to your opinion. But that’s mine.

Jeff Schultz

May 21st, 2009
9:40 pm

Better get back on the road now. It’s $1 beer night and I think I want to beat some of this traffic.

Matt

May 21st, 2009
9:47 pm

I know I’m going to be villianized on the ole’ AJC blog, but honestly, I don’t think that it would have done the Braves much good to start the season with another giant hole in the rotation with the promise that MAYBE Smoltz would be ready by mid-season. I love Smoltzy as much as any other Braves fan, but it was the right thing to do for this year. Keep in mind, it was only a one-year deal, so he might end up in a Braves uni for next season. I don’t think that it would happen, though, with all the arms we have down in AAA ready to come up.

tvsportscaster

May 21st, 2009
9:53 pm

I know John Smoltz is a longtime Brave, but he’s not a Brave anymore, why is the ajc sending a columnist to Greenville to write about a Boston Red Sox pitcher, if you want to do that move to Boston

Drixie

May 21st, 2009
10:10 pm

Smoltz was my favorite Brave, but he’s 42 and wanted to pitch for a playoff-contending team that had the luxury of waiting for him to rehab. If He really wanted to stay with The Braves for one last year, he would have. I wish him well, but I’m not mad at either Smoltz or the Braves.

Thirtyfour Cents

May 21st, 2009
10:18 pm

I have been watching baseball since my father took me to see Eddie Matthews when he played for the Crackers, so I have seen some great baseball players over the years including Mantle, Mays, and Aaron. Smoltz is my favorite. He his a class guy and fierce competitor. If Smoltz didn’t think he could contribute, he wouldn’t take the field. Part of his decision may have been a chance at another WS, which he wouldn’t have with the Braves, but overall, the Braves treated him badly. It shows you where the franchise is going. I hope that Smoltz stays around Atlanta and goes into broadcasting. He is a tremendous asset to the community. If I remember correctly, when Andruw Jones was hanging out at the Gold Club, Smoltz was visiting the VA Hospital.

brent a.

May 21st, 2009
10:33 pm

Smoltz had griped through contract negotiations many times before.

He could’ve pulled this on us next year, if it hadn’t happened this year.

It’s not as if the Braves simply punted Smoltz. They were in negotiations with him; but, he took a better offer.

His choice. Just because he wants to be surly and gripe and complain doesn’t mean that it all has to be Frank Wren’s fault.

John has flirted with leaving many times before, and could’ve done it again in the future. The Braves couldn’t give him a blank check.

rhynster

May 21st, 2009
10:46 pm

That’s exactly right, Jeff.

You’ll trade the farm for Mark Texiera, but you won’t take a gamble on JOHN freaking SMOLTZ?

He’s going to throw us senseless when we face him in June.

And that is absolutely going to happen.

Ed

May 21st, 2009
10:51 pm

Haven’t read your column and don’t intend to. No way you should be wasting an article on another team’s pitcher on a minor league assignment. Get over it!

TM

May 21st, 2009
10:59 pm

Jeff, thanks for the story and your thoughts. I believe your comments (opinion) to be dead on.

I said in the winter, the Braves were willing to take either Glavine or Smoltz, but not both. To me and most everyone I know who is a Braves fan it was a no-brainer. The Braves absolutely blew it.

They chose a player who already showed disloyalty to the organization (free agency signing w/ mets) and coming off his first injury at the age of 42. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the difference between what Smoltz signed with the Bosox and what the Braves will be paying Glavine, assuming he hits all of his bonus’… even or at most 1 million dollars?

I have been a die hard Braves fan for over 30 years, until this season. I hope the former face of the franchise not only pitches in Turner field against the Braves, but shuts them down and gets a standing ovation. I will always root for Smoltzie and never forgive the Braves management for casting Smoltz aside and going with Glavine.

On a related subject, several radio shows and even the TV people are perplexed why the crowds are down at Turner Field. I suggest rereading Schultz’s blog and my comments… why would Braves fans want to support a team that is not committed to their best players, their fans and putting the best product on the field? I ask you…

Najeh Davenpoop

May 21st, 2009
11:50 pm

I completely agree with what Schultz said at 9:39. Smoltz is the one old guy who is worth overpaying to keep. If the Braves can throw $23 million at a 33-year-old from Japan who has never thrown a major league pitch, they can throw $5 million at Smoltz.

larry

May 21st, 2009
11:56 pm

great stuff jeff. we are psyched here in Boston

the Portland Sea Dogs Double A affiliate is on the road Tuesday night

Greenville will be in Rome GA, a short drive from Smoltz’s home….

do you really think he’s really heading north?

DHD

May 22nd, 2009
12:00 am

Another article about a former player. BTW…what did Vick eat for dinner tonight? I didn’t see that reported yet.

Mitch

May 22nd, 2009
12:44 am

Jeff, I absolutely agree with you that letting Smoltz go was the Braves worst mistake ever. I’ve been a Braves fan for 27 years, and Smoltzie’s departure was their biggest PR nightmare.

We all know about Mike Hampton. Guy made.. between 50 and 60 million, between 2005 to 2008, to miss most of four seasons, then bolts to Houston. They tossed that money down the drain, almost like it was nothing, for a guy who barely pitched for them after 2004, and they cant risk 5 mil, on a guy who pitched for them for eighteen full seasons, won 210 games, saved 154, and will one day be in the Hall, as one of the greatest pitchers ever? No!

I always root for the Braves to win, but I hope Smoltz does make it back for those games against the Braves, and pitches and wins in two games. That would really be the way to stick it to the Braves.

Better yet, its a long way from happening, but wouldnt it be even sweeter, if the Braves and Red Sox made it to say, late October, and Smoltz stuck it to the Braves on a much bigger stage, and won his second World Series, after so many years of coming up short with the Braves.

Mitch

Ted Striker

May 22nd, 2009
12:53 am

Cuthbert pitching, JS catching. Kinky! My man!

ben

May 22nd, 2009
1:08 am

vick ate dinner at fugo de chao

b’fast at ihop.

seriously, thanks for the smoltz update

Stat Man

May 22nd, 2009
2:01 am

Put me in with the others that really wonder why a newspaper, losing money hand over fist, would pay one of their writers (even if it is just a mediocre columnist) to cover an EX-Brave.

I know the Braves aren’t tearing it up right now, but are they so boring that other teams minor league outings of EX-Braves more important?

I’m still convinced that Smoltz’s PR firm here in Atlanta is paying the AJC (hey, they need the money) to keep his name in the news.

John Smoltz gets married. John Smoltz throws batting practice. John Smoltz picks his nose. Every thing this guy does is reported on by the AJC – heck, he gets more ink now than when he was actually pitching here.

Truly a sad commentary that he continues to get such space in an Atlanta paper.

Now that the sports section is more like a phamplet, he probably has a higher percentage of visability than any current Brave.

Sad, just plain sad.

povox

May 22nd, 2009
4:28 am

Given the inflated salaries of MLB players today, $5 mil for a proven clubhouse leader would be a bargain, even if he did not throw a single pitch.

thisistired

May 22nd, 2009
6:45 am

I am on a self imposed spending FREEZE from Atlanta baseball due to this decision. For this season they will not get one dime of my money. I will watch on TV, but that is it. The ONLY EXCEPTION will be if Smoltz pitches in Atlanta. I will then go to that game, where a Smoltz RED SOX jersey and cheer for the visitors. This was the WORST PR move in Braves history. I know we have a good rotation, but this was our leader and you just don’t treat icons that way. Love the Braves, have no use for Frank Wren.

LivininAL

May 22nd, 2009
6:49 am

Braves could and should have paid Smoltz; Financially they could have signed another pitcher of Kawakami’s caliber for the amount they paid for the Japanese “star”.

Kevin

May 22nd, 2009
7:12 am

what a great moment in Redsox history John smoltz beats tom(ow)glavine and the rest of The double-A braves they claim be major league talent ha ha.Its goin be fun see 53,400 people when smoltz pitch here as redsox win game n smoltz strikes out 12 in a 11-0 win…and glavine he be just pickin his ass n stuff…..cox will be sittin should i beat me wife today….Frenchy be worried of his hair n are cf related the the president of braves be happy….chipper will just get a mop and cry!

ND

May 22nd, 2009
7:40 am

MITCH: You clearly are not a Braves fan if you would rather see Smoltz win a WS by beating the Braves. In fact none of you people are true Braves fans if you are going to pull against them. You think any of the current Braves had a say in Smoltz leaving? It is basically a kick in their groin to be pulling for one player over the Braves. And like a few posts have said, he is gone. Move on.

NikkiFree

May 22nd, 2009
7:51 am

What a dumb move by the Braves to let Smoltz go. He will definitely be getting a standing ovation if, and when, he pitches against the Braves in June. i wouldn’t be surprised if even the Braves fans would be cheering that day for Smoltz to get the win. We fans are not too thrilled with the moves this organization have made as of late. I am aBraves fan but I’m also a Smoltz fan no matter where he pitches.

Smoltzie Fan

May 22nd, 2009
8:24 am

I live in the Augusta area, so I got to see Smoltzie last night. What ovations the largest crowd in Augusta Greenjackets history gave this man! It’s so clear that Terry McGuirk and Frank Wren screwed this one up every time you see Kawakami pitch. We gave this guy $23 Million, and couldn’t give Smoltzie $5 Million? When you see the love that was bestowed upon this man for the many gifts he gave to us the last 21 years, you wonder how they couldn’t give him this money, regardless if he makes it or not. He was not throwing at full strength last night, but had great movement, and gave up one seeing-eye single between short and 3rd. Is it any wonder the Braves are offering season tickets for $5 each along with a 755 club membership? Noone wants tickets to an organization who does their favorite sons this way. You reap what you sow!

apowell61

May 22nd, 2009
8:32 am

I was there! I loved the standing O we all gave him when he left after 3. Here is a video from last night.

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2009/05/22/gja_524882.shtml

Mart

May 22nd, 2009
8:37 am

The Braves appear to have come out ahead in the Smoltz negotiations. Here it is nearly June and big, bad John hasn’t pitched an inning. That’s why the Braves didn’t sign him. Smoltz will always be able to “make it back to the mound,” unfortunately, it’s keeping him there that’s been the problem.
Go Braves! (And did you hear – gasp – that Glavine had another good bullpen session!)

BOB

May 22nd, 2009
8:38 am

If Wren resigns Smoltz for half a season at that price he tells the fan base and the team, “we aren’t serious about winning this season and we aren’t too serious about winning in the future.” However he gets the moral victory if he does. Smoltz has taken less money for years?? Why not take less money one last time and end your career here? This is your 5th? 6th arm surgery? You’re only going to be able to pitch for half the season. We did stick by you when moved to the bullpen. We have stuck by you and continued to pay you while on the DL….11 times!!!

Jeff Schultz

May 22nd, 2009
9:07 am

Morning all. Thanks for the comments.

Larry — didn’t check the schedule. Just went by what Smoltz told me, and he said Portland. Maybe he’s meeting them on the road? … But he also said schedule has been changing almost daily.

DHD: MV just got up. I hear it’s Corn Flakes and strawberries this morning, but I’ll get back to you.

Ben: See above.

Stat: It’s called a story of interest to Atlanta readers and within close proximity of us (we wouldn’t have flown to Maine; Augusta’s a 2-hour drive). Kinda simple. A “sad commentary”? Are you serious?

Povox: bingo.

LivingInAl: Yeah, Kawakami’s not looking like a great investment.

thisistired

May 22nd, 2009
9:11 am

Hey MART…we gave some Japanese pitcher $23 MILLION and he has barely pitched an inning! We could have put Hanson in this rotation until Smoltz was ready to go and saved $18 MILLION to go get a BAT! THAT my friend was a STUPID statement!

Braveswereright

May 22nd, 2009
9:20 am

Come on, Jeff; be realistic and not a media homer with an agenda…Smoltz left because he wanted another ring and didn’t think the Braves had a chance at the postseason this year. The Braves did exactly what they should have done, wisely invested in guys like Lowe who stay healthy and can actually pitch a full season. You have seen the medical reports on Smoltz’s rotator cuff, he has a handful of starts left in his career at best…re-signing him would be like the Braves signing a washed-up slugger like “traning-room Larry” to an expensive extension (oh wait, they just did that!?). Sentimental signings don’t win pennants…or fill up the stands, either.

Obama hates Cheney's bald head the most

May 22nd, 2009
9:25 am

Yeah, we gave how much to the 84 year old Japanese guy and what to Smoltz, the face of our franchise. I said it when it happended, Wren should have been taken out and beaten for that. And don’t give me this injury parade thing from last year, it was a fluke, like UGA’s rash of injuries. Screw what happens during that freakish season, but don’t bombshell the team.

And the resinging of Glavine was Wren back pedaling from the Braves organization’s most monumental F up. And I love Glavine too by the way, but Smoltz was the man.

Unfortunaltey he is going to tap our a$$ in mid June and I am going to laugh the whole time.

thisistired

May 22nd, 2009
9:26 am

Hey BRAVESWERERIGHT…looked at the stands lately? You think the moves that were made are filling them? 15,000? Are you serious? Let’s see the attendance number when the Sox come down, ESPECIALLY if Smoltz pitches. That Kawakami signing is REALLY putting butts in the seats. When Smoltz is pitching in October and helping the Sox and Frank and the boys are on the golf course we’ll see how those “handful of starts” have turned out. I would be my paycheck that Smoltz winds up with more wins than Kawakami and Reyes combined this year.

Obama hates Cheney's bald head the most

May 22nd, 2009
9:31 am

Mart….you are an a$$clown; Cheney would have you waterboarded and deny that it sucks.

You know nothing about baseball.

Random

May 22nd, 2009
9:35 am

If Smoltz and the Braves do meet, I’ll be rooting for Smoltz to do well, to be head & shoulders the best player on either team, but for the Braves to win after his departure from the game.

Mart (8:37 am): “The Braves appear to have come out ahead in the Smoltz negotiations.” It’s too soon to say, dontcha think?

“Here it is nearly June and big, bad John hasn’t pitched an inning.” Nor has “big, bad Tom” Glavine.

“That’s why the Braves didn’t sign him.” No — Wren always intended on signing Smoltz, but simply got wrong-footed by the Red Sox (with or without Smoltz’ complicity — that’s a whole nother discussion).

“Smoltz will always be able to “make it back to the mound,” unfortunately, it’s keeping him there that’s been the problem.” Based on his actual history of injury and recovery, this is a patently false, fictitious and apparently malicious canard.

“(And did you hear – gasp – that Glavine had another good bullpen session!)” Is a simulated game more impressive than a real (albeit Single A) game? If so, why is Glavine’s next step — should he be able to take it — to pitch a real (albeit Single A) game?

(Or are you sarcastically also banging on Glavine here? Wassup — you run out of flies to pull the wings off of?

Random

May 22nd, 2009
9:38 am

Obama hates Cheney’s bald head the most

Hmmmmm — I thought I did.

PMC

May 22nd, 2009
9:47 am

I’m not sure you could say “drop kicked” If anything he traded in and trade up. 5 million bucks to pitch for a contender…good for him. The Braves haven’t really been serious contenders for a decade. I hope he pitches fantastically for Boston, just not against the Braves.

RANDOM STUPIDITY

May 22nd, 2009
9:49 am

John Smoltz deserves what he got, a one way ticket out of town. He got the same treatment doled out to Cal Ripken jr. Frank Wren is a genius.

Supes

May 22nd, 2009
9:49 am

Schultz, why don’t you or the AJC write about Frank Wren’s failure to assemble anything resembling a complete major league lineup, esp. where the OF production is concerned?

AJC, please get some writers who are NOT afraid of asking the tough questions and writing the unpopular with the Braves Leadership articles.

Kenshin Kawakami has been a failed experiement up to this point.
Garret Anderson is NOT a number 4 or 5 hitter b/c his power is gone. He’s nothing but a singles and doubles guy now.
Jordan Schafer is obviously NOT ready right now and is having to learn on the job
Jeff is back to his old ways and will probably have another mediocre to subpar season (and they did hitch their wagon to him knowing the risks)

So Jeff Schultz, you seem to be the one guy who maybe able to do this, call out FRANK WREN if this Braves team continues to play .500 ball and struggle while having one of the best starting rotations in the NL!

This is his doing, he’s assembled this roster. Any accountability AJC?

PMC

May 22nd, 2009
9:49 am

I wish he could finish here though.

Wes

May 22nd, 2009
10:32 am

Why does everyone want to assign blame/fault in this situation? The fact is that the Braves and Red Sox were in two completely different different situations. The Red Sox could afford to pay a premium to Smoltz to rehab and hopefully be available in June because of their roster strength and lack of fiscal restraint. The Braves could not afford to risk another pitching disaster like 2008 by continuing to spend money on health riddled veterans. They had to get more innings for their money which has played out successfully with Lowe and Vasquez and not so successfully with KK. The bottom line is that the Braves were right in what they did, the Red Sox were right in what they did, and Smoltz was right in what he did. Why the need to assign blame?

The Braves already gave Smoltz a $10-$12 million “gold watch” in 2008 for his work with the Braves.

RANDOM STUPIDITY

May 22nd, 2009
10:36 am

Chipper will not hit the D.L. He will not lead the Braves in batting average or walks.

Tommy Hanson will stay in AAA all season due to Kris Medlen pitching lights out the rest of the year.

The Braves will win the Division, running way with it after getting A-rod in a trade with the Yankees for Casey Kotchman and a bunch of minor leaguers nobody has ever heard of before.

Jeff Francoeur won’t play the whole season in RF, he ends up in LF after switching with Garret Anderson. He will finally turn to Terry Pendleton for advice, and hits .350 with 30 HR’s and 110 RBI.

Javier Vazquez won’t be traded for the big bat the Braves don’t need after the A-rod trade.

Garret Anderson will lead the Braves in HR’s and RBI and get his contract renewed for 2010. He wins the gold glove in RF after showing off his rifle arm.

Jordan Schafer will lead the Bravos in walks while not striking even once after the All-star break.

The Braves will tell Tim Hudson to take a hike, not pick up his option and wish him good riddance. Tommy Turncoat will ride in like the Lone Ranger and save our Braves entire season while Bobby Cox announces his impending retirement on September 1st.

Kenshin Kawakami will finally ask his interpreter to catch relegating Brian McCann to the bench with pom poms in hand.

Derel Lowe will announce his intentions to compete in the iron man in October, quit the team and start training immediately.

Jair Jurrjens ends up winning the Cy Young award afterword and Frank Wren ends up in a psyc ward screaming : Derek Lowe is our Ace! Derek Lowe is our ace! Derk Lowe is our ace!

Terry Pendleton will do cartwheels on the field after he becomes Bobby’s replacement as manager starting in 2010. After Bobby announces his intentions to retire, the Braves go undefeated all the way through game seven of the World Series, winning it all and sending Cox out as a two time WS manager.

Coach (2010 or Bust)

May 22nd, 2009
10:52 am

The post at 10:36, that is beautiful my friend. I laughed till I cried.