Unions, my friends, did not cause the demise of Hostess, the company that became famous as the maker of Twinkies and other wonderfully sweet snack items. Oh no. Only the foolish and uninformed would ever believe such a naive explanation. And I know that you are much too smart to be foolish and uninformed, which is why you come here to learn about how the world really works.
No, the real explanation begins here:
Need I say more?
“But wait!” I can hear some of you say. “Are you claiming that Michelle Obama killed the Twinkie in some sort of a conspiracy?” Let’s examine the evidence, shall we:
“Michelle is a snake.
She is so deceptive. This whole ‘food thing’ she is innocently pushing, is slyly making the government the controller of our children’s food … out from her forked tongue slipped a buzzword, on the Jay Leno show tonight. She actually used the words, ’sustainable food, organic food.’ These are