Tonight, a requiem for a friend
I lost a great, close friend last night — a brother from another mother. His name, like mine, was Jay. He was exactly one week older than I was. We each had two daughters, a matched set age wise, and today our daughters are as close as sisters.
Jay was the extrovert, I was the introvert; he was conservative, I was liberal. But in most of the ways that matter, we were a lot alike.
Of course, Jay would tell you that he was the taller one, the good-looking one, the smart one and the funny one. Ordinarily I would give him two of those, but tonight I’ll concede all four. (And yes, Jay, you now know that you have died and gone to heaven, because only in heaven would I let you have the last word like this.)
We also shared a similar taste in music. As often as our wives would let us — and on occasion more often than that — we’d hang out in the blues clubs and jazz clubs, trying not to get in too much trouble.
This was one of his favorite songs (and please forgive the occasional vulgarity).
– Jay Bookman
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563 comments Add your comment
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
3:47 pm
Jay
My condolences.
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
3:47 pm
You didn’t add the link
Mary Elizabeth
September 14th, 2012
3:50 pm
My condolences.
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
3:59 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMYjTWbU76k
SwamiDave
September 14th, 2012
4:03 pm
Condolences Jay. Will keep his family in thoughts and prayers.
-SD
SonofConfederateGentlemen
September 14th, 2012
4:03 pm
Sorry Jay
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
4:03 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p_xAToFzck
RIP JB’s friend!!!!!
janney
September 14th, 2012
4:04 pm
So sorry for your loss
Kamchak ~ Thug from the Steppes
September 14th, 2012
4:07 pm
Condolences to everyone who’s life he touched.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yopp6aU6Auk
Kamchak ~ Thug from the Steppes
September 14th, 2012
4:08 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exLbXsTJypI
Jay
September 14th, 2012
4:09 pm
Thanks Both. Fixed it.
And I appreciate the thoughts, y’all. I didn’t post it looking for all that, it’s just where my head is at right now. All of you know what’s it’s like, because we’ve all been there at some point or other. But it is appreciated.
Jay
September 14th, 2012
4:11 pm
On with the music!
skydog
September 14th, 2012
4:11 pm
Sorry for your loss Jay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aayzjy-hTkw
Jm
September 14th, 2012
4:12 pm
A Night in Tunisia! A jazz great!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQYXn1DP38s&feature=youtube_gdata_player
josef
September 14th, 2012
4:13 pm
Condolences.
Kamchak ~ Thug from the Steppes
September 14th, 2012
4:14 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTf_v3ZoHXk
Jay
September 14th, 2012
4:15 pm
Excellent choice, jm!
TaxPayer
September 14th, 2012
4:16 pm
May your “brother from another mother” rest in peace, Jay.
Matti
September 14th, 2012
4:17 pm
I’m SO sorry, Mr. Bookman!
{:-<
Matti
September 14th, 2012
4:19 pm
This is one I pulled out when I lost my friend:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcXpZnHLRrY
godless heathen
September 14th, 2012
4:20 pm
Tough to lose a friend, Jay. Thoughts are with you. Gonna be a tough weekend.
one and only
September 14th, 2012
4:20 pm
RIP Jay W., so sorry to all of his friends and family. Too young, just too young.
Jm
September 14th, 2012
4:22 pm
Jay 4:15
And it’s been done well by so many others as well. Love Dizzy.
So apropos given the moment. I’m sure there are some people wishing they were in Tunisia then, not now….
getalife
September 14th, 2012
4:25 pm
Sorry to hear that Jay
Simple Truths
September 14th, 2012
4:26 pm
I pray that you find peace and comfort in this moment.
Williebkind
September 14th, 2012
4:26 pm
Me and my family send you the deepest sympathies for your loss. I know how it feels to lose a brother.
Peadawg
September 14th, 2012
4:27 pm
These are 2 good songs that go out to loved-ones who’ve died:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcQ3iegpZTc – Alter Bridge “In Loving Memory”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7ry4cx6HfY – Avenged Sevenfold “So Far Away”
“In Loving Memory” is fantastic.
Jefferson
September 14th, 2012
4:28 pm
Sorry about your bro, remember him forever.
Peadawg
September 14th, 2012
4:29 pm
“In Loving Memory” is about Mark Tremonti’s (lead guitarist of AB and Creed) mom.
“So Far Away” is about Avenged Sevenfold’s drummer who died a year or 2 ago.
Normal Free, Pro Human Rights Thug...and liking it!
September 14th, 2012
4:29 pm
Jay,
Peace sir, He’s dancing with the angels…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aG51zYw56c&list=PLCB034FB6942CF68C&index=18&feature=plpp_video
Mr. Holmes
September 14th, 2012
4:30 pm
Condolences, Jay.
getalife
September 14th, 2012
4:30 pm
Too much bad news lately.
All we can do is keep going:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zRtpX60XD0
CJ
September 14th, 2012
4:31 pm
He sounds like a great guy, Jay. I’m sorry for your loss.
CJ
September 14th, 2012
4:32 pm
By the way, Jay, any blues/jazz clubs that you would recommend?
Bernie
September 14th, 2012
4:33 pm
Jay, Remember, We ALL come to GO………
Regina Spektor – “Laughing With” [Official Music Video]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pxRXP3w-sQ&feature=bf_next&list=AL94UKMTqg-9AtqMUFpnWAYu215LsL_3Pb
Jay
September 14th, 2012
4:34 pm
Cj, most of that was back in my Portland days, where Jay lived. Here in the ATL, Blind Willie’s is good and I often see shows down the street at the Variety in L5P.
kitty
September 14th, 2012
4:37 pm
That stinks…my condolences, Jay.
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
4:37 pm
Jay
Marcus Miller will be at Variety in a couple of weeks.
Stanley Clarke show last month was jammin
JamVet
September 14th, 2012
4:38 pm
Jay, condolences and I hope that one day our paths cross, so I can look you in the eye and shake your hand and say thanks.
BTW, great tune.
Here’s another…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d7-KZvSE5E
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
4:40 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUm9y3BaruU
Jay
September 14th, 2012
4:41 pm
Both, I almost made the Stanley Clarke show. That would have been right up Jay’s alley.
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
4:41 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btXGonJ6df0&feature=related
Oscar
September 14th, 2012
4:41 pm
St. James – by Loui
Not exactly appropriate, but a good song and some lines, one in particular, in it should always be remembered. I keep them in mind always.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kARSKN8Yetg
CJ
September 14th, 2012
4:41 pm
Got it. Thanks!
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
4:42 pm
Jay
He is playing with some young cats. Still slappn that bass like he was 30 yrs ago.
Matti
September 14th, 2012
4:42 pm
Peadawg,
I like that A7F song. The images in the video might be too much for Mr. Bookman right now. Losing a BFF is some painful shizz.
skydog
September 14th, 2012
4:42 pm
Jamvet, Look who I found hanging with Taj.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC1a5UAWIus
Jay
September 14th, 2012
4:43 pm
Bass is my favorite jazz instrument. Love that walking bass line….
Aquagirl
September 14th, 2012
4:45 pm
Condolences, Jay…only the tall, good looking, smart and funny ones die young.
alittlecommonsense
September 14th, 2012
4:48 pm
My condolences Jay. And this may be my only posting ever agreeing with you. I’m sure he was better looking than you. Just kidding, but serious about the condolences.
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
4:48 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxBLl6lcJig&feature=related
Joe The Plumber Too
September 14th, 2012
4:48 pm
Sorry for your loss Jay. The older we get, the more we lose. Seems like I go to more funerals now than business meetings.
skydog
September 14th, 2012
4:49 pm
Bass heaven.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOMOuTQlqQ4
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
4:49 pm
Jay
Marcus Miller preview
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxNGzd1UqX4&feature=related
josef
September 14th, 2012
4:51 pm
So, the boy liked jazz, eh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG6KH905cGU&playnext=1&list=PLDC215650AFD1D4E3&feature=results_video
bez
September 14th, 2012
4:52 pm
I’m sorry for your loss — that’s very hard.
JamVet
September 14th, 2012
4:52 pm
skydog, Night Music was a great show.
TR and Bobby Womack in an absolutely killer song…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zepxgMEz5IM
bookman parrot
September 14th, 2012
4:52 pm
my condolences on your loss. a close friend truely is a brother.
Towncrier
September 14th, 2012
4:55 pm
“I lost a great, close friend last night — a brother from another mother.”
Jay, please accept my condolences for your loss. Losing loved ones is one of the most difficult things to suffer in this life on earth. And, even though God allows it to happen in sometimes inexplicable ways, I try always to take solace in the fact that Jesus was brought to tears by the grief of those mourning a man he was about to resurrect. In other words, God certainly greatly empathizes with our pain even though he doesn’t (for other reasons) often break the chain of causality.
Brother Mark
September 14th, 2012
4:55 pm
I have to tell you Jay…..this was a punch in the stomach. I hadn’t seen Jay in a very long time but have many fond memories from my summer trips to the NW and the early days of my golf life. Definitely in my thoughts.
TN_Realist
September 14th, 2012
4:56 pm
Jay, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend’s family. I’m rather new to commenting on your blog but a long time reader. Looking forward to more time in your “house”
Jay
September 14th, 2012
4:57 pm
Appreciate it Mark. He’d bring you up often, asking about you.
markie mark
September 14th, 2012
4:59 pm
Jay, my wife and I sympathize for your loss, and send our prayers to his family…….
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
5:00 pm
Jam
Back at you with the Womack. That dude never really got his credit from a popularity standpoint but the heavy weights in the industry know what he can do
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxNGzd1UqX4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DNztjQJqTI
JamVet
September 14th, 2012
5:04 pm
TN_Realist, welcome. The kinship here is real. And damn fine.
Brother Kam, loved the Townshend.
Sorry for your loss Jay. The older we get, the more we lose. Seems like I go to more funerals now than business meetings.
Very true, Plumber.
Kindred spirits moving along the spiral
I can see you up on another level
It’s too great a fall
And I can’t reach you to pull me higher
But I don’t seem to get much closer or any more far
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVFoAcbV2MY
They BOTH suck
September 14th, 2012
5:06 pm
Jam
Ronnie Woods and Charlie Watts playing on that Womack and Isley tune
Erwin's cat
September 14th, 2012
5:08 pm
Jay, my condolences
I’ve had to bury 2 friends this year 2 months a part…I’m tired of funerals already
God Bless and Godspeed
tireofit
September 14th, 2012
5:11 pm
Very sorry for your loss. I had a similar loss a couple of months ago.
bman
September 14th, 2012
5:13 pm
Tough stuff to read from our host. You have lots of fans here, Mister Bookman. It’s a sure thing that his wife & daughter will read your post, and it will bring a smile to their face.
JamVet
September 14th, 2012
5:15 pm
BOTH, that Womack/Isley/Woods/Watts tune is just stellar.
Is it from the early 90s?
Jay
September 14th, 2012
5:17 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F93e4SJ71lc
josef
September 14th, 2012
5:23 pm
Tn REALIST
Welcome to the Imam’s house…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQn8vPOCnp4
Jay
September 14th, 2012
5:28 pm
Here’s Curtis Salgado, a Pacific NW blues legend who inspired the John Belushi character in Blues Brothers. Belushi ran across him while filming “Animal House” at the University of Oregon. He does a Womack number here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTX3E6NNcMk
Goldie
September 14th, 2012
5:28 pm
So sorry, Jay — I know your BFF wants you to continue groovin’ to the walking bass…
Goldie
September 14th, 2012
5:38 pm
Wow– Curtis Salgado is a flashback for me… I too lived in Eugene and Portland back in the 70’s and 80’s. I also remember seeing the Robert Cray Band so many times at Murphy & Me Tavern in Eugene (at the U of O), before they hit it big later in the 80’s. And the Jeff Lorber Fusion played all around Portland back then– lotsa great memories!
Thanks again, Jay!
deegee
September 14th, 2012
5:42 pm
My condolences. I used to tune my transistor radio to WEBB back in Baltimore and jam to some Les McCann, Billy Stewart and Cannonball Adderly.
Tom Middleton
September 14th, 2012
5:43 pm
It’s not much of a swap, Jay, but you’ve still got us – ready to listen as long as it takes, to keep your memories alive and very close. Peace. Bro, and I hope you won’t be offended by my selection tonight. Maybe, just maybe a little smile?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upwrq1QZKV8
philosopher
September 14th, 2012
5:46 pm
I wish there was any combination of words one could put together that would ease the loss. Since there isn’t, I hope you can take some solace from all of us who recognize the importance of this loss to you and your family and wish you peace and comfort.
bman
September 14th, 2012
5:51 pm
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dxGJp0l94R8
Reality tune
September 14th, 2012
5:52 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbX5EwSp_W8
TN_Realist
September 14th, 2012
5:53 pm
JamVet & Josef, thank you. While I appreciate the fine jazz my heart goes to the southern rock especially the original Allman Bros before we lost Duane.
TN_Realist
September 14th, 2012
5:57 pm
Just remembering
http://youtu.be/C6up076lSH8
Matti
September 14th, 2012
5:57 pm
A long slow one… time enough to finish a Scotch and have a good cry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOMIlFc-tLQ
TN_Realist
September 14th, 2012
5:58 pm
Sorry better link here………….so fine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6up076lSH8
josef
September 14th, 2012
6:07 pm
REALITY TIME
And there’s our t*rd in the punchbowl…
godless heathen
September 14th, 2012
6:08 pm
OK. Enough of that. Time for some levity.
http://youtu.be/cjI4p8_NZVc
Joseph
September 14th, 2012
6:09 pm
Hope you get some rest this weekend Jay. You deserve it. You work about as hard as any far left loon trying to cover for this inept pathetic President…..
josef
September 14th, 2012
6:09 pm
JAY
So, what was Jay’s favorite good time, happy song?
USMC
September 14th, 2012
6:10 pm
Jay,
Sorry to hear about your loss.
Life is funny:
My best friend is LIBERAL. We have been friends since grade school.
We absolutely disagree politically(as he is always wrong, lol!), but I would defend him to the end.
Also, my 80 year father’s best friend just died two weeks ago. My dad is conservative and his best friend was LIBERAL. Imagine that.
(By the way Jay, I was offended by the Hateful/Vulgar language in your song, NOT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m6lymJy57E&noredirect=1
godless heathen
September 14th, 2012
6:11 pm
And there’s our t*rd in the punchbowl…
#80 by my count. And gh owes Kam another beer.
josef
September 14th, 2012
6:13 pm
HEATHEN
Going political on us, eh?
Kamchak ~ Thug from the Steppes
September 14th, 2012
6:15 pm
T I T P B @ 80,
I called the over on your 25.
That’s another one you owe me, heathen
Redneck Convert (R--and proud of it)
September 14th, 2012
6:16 pm
Well, I’m sorry for Bookman’s loss.
About a year ago I had a loss of my own—the sister of the missus. When she come down sick they had to take a window out of her place to get her out and it took 12 people to lift her. See, she weighed in at a little over 500 lbs. Anyhow, I was thinking about her and the EMTs and the pallbearers and all those people. Here’s one in memory of them, sung by somebody famous and innerduced by somebody famous:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joo90ZWrUkU
Shelley
September 14th, 2012
6:20 pm
Jay will be missed by all of us here at Deschutes River Adventures, Maupin, Oregon. So very sad.
godless heathen
September 14th, 2012
6:21 pm
Going political on us, eh?
Hard to much music relevant to this crappy week.
JamVet
September 14th, 2012
6:21 pm
Matti, I don’t do Scotch but I can get good and c0ckeyed on high octane beer!
While I appreciate the fine jazz my heart goes to the southern rock especially the original Allman Bros before we lost Duane.
Man, are you gonna fit in here!
From one of my favorite albums ever.
Gregg covers Jackson Browne…
Please don’t confront me with my failures
I’m aware of them
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCUxJFtTFNk
godless heathen
September 14th, 2012
6:25 pm
That’s another one you owe me, heathen
Hopefully someday I’ll get a chance to settle up.
http://youtu.be/m1vRvW3QUys
TN_Realist
September 14th, 2012
6:27 pm
Jam
and perhaps 2 of the best that ever picked up a guitar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jxsnIRpy2E
godless heathen
September 14th, 2012
6:32 pm
My favorite getting better song evah.
http://youtu.be/rAJVH7RfwkM
TN_Realist
September 14th, 2012
6:35 pm
and here’s one for Josef, thanks for the gracious welcome
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1li96pArNcQ&playnext=1&list=PLFC179E0C09AD4164&feature=results_video