Tonight, a requiem for a friend

I lost a great, close friend last night — a brother from another mother. His name, like mine, was Jay. He was exactly one week older than I was. We each had two daughters, a matched set age wise, and today our daughters are as close as sisters.

Jay was the extrovert, I was the introvert; he was conservative, I was liberal. But in most of the ways that matter, we were a lot alike.

Of course, Jay would tell you that he was the taller one, the good-looking one, the smart one and the funny one. Ordinarily I would give him two of those, but tonight I’ll concede all four. (And yes, Jay, you now know that you have died and gone to heaven, because only in heaven would I let you have the last word like this.)

We also shared a similar taste in music. As often as our wives would let us — and on occasion more often than that — we’d hang out in the blues clubs and jazz clubs, trying not to get in too much trouble.

This was one of his favorite songs (and please forgive the occasional vulgarity).

– Jay Bookman

563 comments Add your comment

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
3:47 pm

Jay

My condolences.

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
3:47 pm

You didn’t add the link

Mary Elizabeth

September 14th, 2012
3:50 pm

My condolences.

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
3:59 pm

SwamiDave

September 14th, 2012
4:03 pm

Condolences Jay. Will keep his family in thoughts and prayers.

-SD

SonofConfederateGentlemen

September 14th, 2012
4:03 pm

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
4:03 pm

janney

September 14th, 2012
4:04 pm

So sorry for your loss

Kamchak ~ Thug from the Steppes

September 14th, 2012
4:07 pm

Condolences to everyone who’s life he touched.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yopp6aU6Auk

Kamchak ~ Thug from the Steppes

September 14th, 2012
4:08 pm

Jay

September 14th, 2012
4:09 pm

Thanks Both. Fixed it.

And I appreciate the thoughts, y’all. I didn’t post it looking for all that, it’s just where my head is at right now. All of you know what’s it’s like, because we’ve all been there at some point or other. But it is appreciated.

Jay

September 14th, 2012
4:11 pm

On with the music!

skydog

September 14th, 2012
4:11 pm

Jm

September 14th, 2012
4:12 pm

josef

September 14th, 2012
4:13 pm

Condolences.

Kamchak ~ Thug from the Steppes

September 14th, 2012
4:14 pm

Jay

September 14th, 2012
4:15 pm

Excellent choice, jm!

TaxPayer

September 14th, 2012
4:16 pm

May your “brother from another mother” rest in peace, Jay.

Matti

September 14th, 2012
4:17 pm

I’m SO sorry, Mr. Bookman!

{:-<

Matti

September 14th, 2012
4:19 pm

This is one I pulled out when I lost my friend:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcXpZnHLRrY

godless heathen

September 14th, 2012
4:20 pm

Tough to lose a friend, Jay. Thoughts are with you. Gonna be a tough weekend.

one and only

September 14th, 2012
4:20 pm

RIP Jay W., so sorry to all of his friends and family. Too young, just too young.

Jm

September 14th, 2012
4:22 pm

Jay 4:15

And it’s been done well by so many others as well. Love Dizzy.

So apropos given the moment. I’m sure there are some people wishing they were in Tunisia then, not now….

getalife

September 14th, 2012
4:25 pm

Sorry to hear that Jay :(

Simple Truths

September 14th, 2012
4:26 pm

I pray that you find peace and comfort in this moment.

Williebkind

September 14th, 2012
4:26 pm

Me and my family send you the deepest sympathies for your loss. I know how it feels to lose a brother.

Peadawg

September 14th, 2012
4:27 pm

These are 2 good songs that go out to loved-ones who’ve died:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcQ3iegpZTc – Alter Bridge “In Loving Memory”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7ry4cx6HfY – Avenged Sevenfold “So Far Away”

“In Loving Memory” is fantastic.

Jefferson

September 14th, 2012
4:28 pm

Sorry about your bro, remember him forever.

Peadawg

September 14th, 2012
4:29 pm

“In Loving Memory” is about Mark Tremonti’s (lead guitarist of AB and Creed) mom.

“So Far Away” is about Avenged Sevenfold’s drummer who died a year or 2 ago.

Normal Free, Pro Human Rights Thug...and liking it!

September 14th, 2012
4:29 pm

Mr. Holmes

September 14th, 2012
4:30 pm

Condolences, Jay.

getalife

September 14th, 2012
4:30 pm

Too much bad news lately.

All we can do is keep going:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zRtpX60XD0

CJ

September 14th, 2012
4:31 pm

He sounds like a great guy, Jay. I’m sorry for your loss.

CJ

September 14th, 2012
4:32 pm

By the way, Jay, any blues/jazz clubs that you would recommend?

Bernie

September 14th, 2012
4:33 pm

Jay, Remember, We ALL come to GO………

Regina Spektor – “Laughing With” [Official Music Video]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pxRXP3w-sQ&feature=bf_next&list=AL94UKMTqg-9AtqMUFpnWAYu215LsL_3Pb

Jay

September 14th, 2012
4:34 pm

Cj, most of that was back in my Portland days, where Jay lived. Here in the ATL, Blind Willie’s is good and I often see shows down the street at the Variety in L5P.

kitty

September 14th, 2012
4:37 pm

That stinks…my condolences, Jay.

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
4:37 pm

Jay

Marcus Miller will be at Variety in a couple of weeks.

Stanley Clarke show last month was jammin

JamVet

September 14th, 2012
4:38 pm

Jay, condolences and I hope that one day our paths cross, so I can look you in the eye and shake your hand and say thanks.

BTW, great tune.

Here’s another…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d7-KZvSE5E

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
4:40 pm

Jay

September 14th, 2012
4:41 pm

Both, I almost made the Stanley Clarke show. That would have been right up Jay’s alley.

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
4:41 pm

Oscar

September 14th, 2012
4:41 pm

St. James – by Loui

Not exactly appropriate, but a good song and some lines, one in particular, in it should always be remembered. I keep them in mind always.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kARSKN8Yetg

CJ

September 14th, 2012
4:41 pm

Got it. Thanks!

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
4:42 pm

Jay

He is playing with some young cats. Still slappn that bass like he was 30 yrs ago.

Matti

September 14th, 2012
4:42 pm

Peadawg,

I like that A7F song. The images in the video might be too much for Mr. Bookman right now. Losing a BFF is some painful shizz.

skydog

September 14th, 2012
4:42 pm

Jamvet, Look who I found hanging with Taj.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC1a5UAWIus

Jay

September 14th, 2012
4:43 pm

Bass is my favorite jazz instrument. Love that walking bass line….

Aquagirl

September 14th, 2012
4:45 pm

Condolences, Jay…only the tall, good looking, smart and funny ones die young.

alittlecommonsense

September 14th, 2012
4:48 pm

My condolences Jay. And this may be my only posting ever agreeing with you. I’m sure he was better looking than you. Just kidding, but serious about the condolences.

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
4:48 pm

Joe The Plumber Too

September 14th, 2012
4:48 pm

Sorry for your loss Jay. The older we get, the more we lose. Seems like I go to more funerals now than business meetings.

skydog

September 14th, 2012
4:49 pm

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
4:49 pm

josef

September 14th, 2012
4:51 pm

bez

September 14th, 2012
4:52 pm

I’m sorry for your loss — that’s very hard.

JamVet

September 14th, 2012
4:52 pm

skydog, Night Music was a great show.

TR and Bobby Womack in an absolutely killer song…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zepxgMEz5IM

bookman parrot

September 14th, 2012
4:52 pm

my condolences on your loss. a close friend truely is a brother.

Towncrier

September 14th, 2012
4:55 pm

“I lost a great, close friend last night — a brother from another mother.”

Jay, please accept my condolences for your loss. Losing loved ones is one of the most difficult things to suffer in this life on earth. And, even though God allows it to happen in sometimes inexplicable ways, I try always to take solace in the fact that Jesus was brought to tears by the grief of those mourning a man he was about to resurrect. In other words, God certainly greatly empathizes with our pain even though he doesn’t (for other reasons) often break the chain of causality.

Brother Mark

September 14th, 2012
4:55 pm

I have to tell you Jay…..this was a punch in the stomach. I hadn’t seen Jay in a very long time but have many fond memories from my summer trips to the NW and the early days of my golf life. Definitely in my thoughts.

TN_Realist

September 14th, 2012
4:56 pm

Jay, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend’s family. I’m rather new to commenting on your blog but a long time reader. Looking forward to more time in your “house” :-)

Jay

September 14th, 2012
4:57 pm

Appreciate it Mark. He’d bring you up often, asking about you.

markie mark

September 14th, 2012
4:59 pm

Jay, my wife and I sympathize for your loss, and send our prayers to his family…….

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
5:00 pm

Jam

Back at you with the Womack. That dude never really got his credit from a popularity standpoint but the heavy weights in the industry know what he can do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxNGzd1UqX4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DNztjQJqTI

JamVet

September 14th, 2012
5:04 pm

TN_Realist, welcome. The kinship here is real. And damn fine.

Brother Kam, loved the Townshend.

Sorry for your loss Jay. The older we get, the more we lose. Seems like I go to more funerals now than business meetings.

Very true, Plumber.

Kindred spirits moving along the spiral
I can see you up on another level
It’s too great a fall
And I can’t reach you to pull me higher
But I don’t seem to get much closer or any more far

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVFoAcbV2MY

They BOTH suck

September 14th, 2012
5:06 pm

Jam

Ronnie Woods and Charlie Watts playing on that Womack and Isley tune

Erwin's cat

September 14th, 2012
5:08 pm

Jay, my condolences
I’ve had to bury 2 friends this year 2 months a part…I’m tired of funerals already
God Bless and Godspeed

tireofit

September 14th, 2012
5:11 pm

Very sorry for your loss. I had a similar loss a couple of months ago.

bman

September 14th, 2012
5:13 pm

Tough stuff to read from our host. You have lots of fans here, Mister Bookman. It’s a sure thing that his wife & daughter will read your post, and it will bring a smile to their face.

JamVet

September 14th, 2012
5:15 pm

BOTH, that Womack/Isley/Woods/Watts tune is just stellar.

Is it from the early 90s?

Jay

September 14th, 2012
5:17 pm

josef

September 14th, 2012
5:23 pm

Tn REALIST

Welcome to the Imam’s house… :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQn8vPOCnp4

Jay

September 14th, 2012
5:28 pm

Here’s Curtis Salgado, a Pacific NW blues legend who inspired the John Belushi character in Blues Brothers. Belushi ran across him while filming “Animal House” at the University of Oregon. He does a Womack number here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTX3E6NNcMk

Goldie

September 14th, 2012
5:28 pm

So sorry, Jay — I know your BFF wants you to continue groovin’ to the walking bass…

Goldie

September 14th, 2012
5:38 pm

Wow– Curtis Salgado is a flashback for me… I too lived in Eugene and Portland back in the 70’s and 80’s. I also remember seeing the Robert Cray Band so many times at Murphy & Me Tavern in Eugene (at the U of O), before they hit it big later in the 80’s. And the Jeff Lorber Fusion played all around Portland back then– lotsa great memories!

Thanks again, Jay! :)

deegee

September 14th, 2012
5:42 pm

My condolences. I used to tune my transistor radio to WEBB back in Baltimore and jam to some Les McCann, Billy Stewart and Cannonball Adderly.

Tom Middleton

September 14th, 2012
5:43 pm

It’s not much of a swap, Jay, but you’ve still got us – ready to listen as long as it takes, to keep your memories alive and very close. Peace. Bro, and I hope you won’t be offended by my selection tonight. Maybe, just maybe a little smile?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upwrq1QZKV8

philosopher

September 14th, 2012
5:46 pm

I wish there was any combination of words one could put together that would ease the loss. Since there isn’t, I hope you can take some solace from all of us who recognize the importance of this loss to you and your family and wish you peace and comfort.

bman

September 14th, 2012
5:51 pm

Reality tune

September 14th, 2012
5:52 pm

TN_Realist

September 14th, 2012
5:53 pm

JamVet & Josef, thank you. While I appreciate the fine jazz my heart goes to the southern rock especially the original Allman Bros before we lost Duane. ;-)

TN_Realist

September 14th, 2012
5:57 pm

Matti

September 14th, 2012
5:57 pm

A long slow one… time enough to finish a Scotch and have a good cry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOMIlFc-tLQ

TN_Realist

September 14th, 2012
5:58 pm

Sorry better link here………….so fine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6up076lSH8

josef

September 14th, 2012
6:07 pm

REALITY TIME

And there’s our t*rd in the punchbowl…

godless heathen

September 14th, 2012
6:08 pm

OK. Enough of that. Time for some levity.

http://youtu.be/cjI4p8_NZVc

Joseph

September 14th, 2012
6:09 pm

Hope you get some rest this weekend Jay. You deserve it. You work about as hard as any far left loon trying to cover for this inept pathetic President…..

josef

September 14th, 2012
6:09 pm

JAY

So, what was Jay’s favorite good time, happy song?

USMC

September 14th, 2012
6:10 pm

Jay,

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Life is funny:
My best friend is LIBERAL. We have been friends since grade school.
We absolutely disagree politically(as he is always wrong, lol!), but I would defend him to the end.
Also, my 80 year father’s best friend just died two weeks ago. My dad is conservative and his best friend was LIBERAL. Imagine that.

(By the way Jay, I was offended by the Hateful/Vulgar language in your song, NOT! :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m6lymJy57E&noredirect=1

godless heathen

September 14th, 2012
6:11 pm

And there’s our t*rd in the punchbowl…

#80 by my count. And gh owes Kam another beer.

josef

September 14th, 2012
6:13 pm

HEATHEN

Going political on us, eh? :-)

Kamchak ~ Thug from the Steppes

September 14th, 2012
6:15 pm

T I T P B @ 80,

I called the over on your 25.

That’s another one you owe me, heathen

Redneck Convert (R--and proud of it)

September 14th, 2012
6:16 pm

Well, I’m sorry for Bookman’s loss.

About a year ago I had a loss of my own—the sister of the missus. When she come down sick they had to take a window out of her place to get her out and it took 12 people to lift her. See, she weighed in at a little over 500 lbs. Anyhow, I was thinking about her and the EMTs and the pallbearers and all those people. Here’s one in memory of them, sung by somebody famous and innerduced by somebody famous:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joo90ZWrUkU

Shelley

September 14th, 2012
6:20 pm

Jay will be missed by all of us here at Deschutes River Adventures, Maupin, Oregon. So very sad.

godless heathen

September 14th, 2012
6:21 pm

Going political on us, eh?

Hard to much music relevant to this crappy week.

JamVet

September 14th, 2012
6:21 pm

Matti, I don’t do Scotch but I can get good and c0ckeyed on high octane beer!

While I appreciate the fine jazz my heart goes to the southern rock especially the original Allman Bros before we lost Duane.

Man, are you gonna fit in here!

From one of my favorite albums ever.

Gregg covers Jackson Browne…

Please don’t confront me with my failures
I’m aware of them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCUxJFtTFNk

godless heathen

September 14th, 2012
6:25 pm

That’s another one you owe me, heathen

Hopefully someday I’ll get a chance to settle up.

http://youtu.be/m1vRvW3QUys

TN_Realist

September 14th, 2012
6:27 pm

Jam

and perhaps 2 of the best that ever picked up a guitar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jxsnIRpy2E

godless heathen

September 14th, 2012
6:32 pm

My favorite getting better song evah.

http://youtu.be/rAJVH7RfwkM

TN_Realist

September 14th, 2012
6:35 pm