Thus is the story told:
Before there was Herman Cain, the totally fab non-hirer of Muslims and Defender of the Holy Realm against Sharia, there was the Donald, a man whose own star flashed oh so briefly but brightly across the GOP firmament until, alas, he crashed under the weight of his ego into the Slough of Birtherdom, never to be seen again except on Sunday nights at 9, 8 Central (check your local listings).
And lest we forget, before that, oh so many forgotten months ago, there was the sainted Sarah Palin, the crusading Wasilla wrong-righter, whom many once fervently believed would lead the people in a campaign to evict the usurper Barack Obama and his consort, the dessert-banning Michelle, from their illicit crib deep in the nation’s Capitol.
Alas, Sarah too hath fallen, led astray from her true destiny by the lure of lucre, hotel caviar and plush furs from animals that she didn’t even have to kill and skin herself, doncha know?
Sarah’s descent may be the most heart-breaking, a tragedy of unfulfilled promise, like the promise to serve a full term as governor, or to return the clothes to Macy’s. It seems nigh impossible to measure the depths of her decline from sweetheart of the rodeo to sheer irrelevance, but fear not, dear friends, for a poll loometh.
Even when pitted against the left’s most knavish, gnomish nebbish, the former mayor and permanently mere Dennis of Kucinich, Sarah pales. In a joust for the presidency, sayeth the pollsters, the wee wan one would smite the Queen of the North 43 percent to 36 percent.
Oh, how the Flighty hath fallen.
– Jay Bookman
NOTE: “Not Sarah Palin” is actually Keira Knightley, from “King Arthur.” “Not Dennis Kucinich” is Peter Dinklage from HBO’s “Game of Thrones.”