If Sarah Palin talked like a pirate
… on today’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day, it might go something like this:
“I am one who, on Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is certainly today in our beloved state of Alaska would be a day where I be saying “aaarrrghh” and shaking my cutlass at that lily-livered Putin rearing his eyepatch over there in Russia where that Obama said where he wouldn’t put missiles, that scurvy son of a Kenyan.
Former Alaska governor-turned Pirate Queen Sarah Palin
Did ye know ye can see Russia from my crow’s nest?
I also certainly want to preclude that the bilge-sucking Obama should be keelhauled for making old people walk the government death planks, which doesn’t even make sense! I mean, health care reform will make our country run out of buried treasure except Alaska with its oil, which is buried too and I have the map but it’s different because it’s black. But I thought I should say before I stop but not quit because I never quit because Americans don’t do that no matter what the hornswoggling media claim that it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep ye pirate hat down and plod along on your wooden leg and “go with the flow” but I won’t do that.
Avast, only dead landlubbers go with the flow, so later this month I’m weighing anchor with my first mate Todd to hunt for plunder in Hong Kong. Then we set sail for the White House, which we expect to capture by 2012.
Ye betcha! 
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285 comments Add your comment
ByteMe
September 19th, 2009
7:03 am
Aarrrrrghhh!!
Kayaker 71
September 19th, 2009
7:40 am
Another Palin rant. Yawwwwwn.
stands for decibels
September 19th, 2009
8:06 am
Love it.
And howdy to all the members of the WE HEART SARAH 4EVAH fanclub!
Keep running her out there as your party’s spokesmodel; we’ll make more.
Normal
September 19th, 2009
8:09 am
Good morning all, I feelin’ much better this morn’ so I offer you one last ditty from downstairs. I find the name of this band most appropriate now at my age…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqNuabPwpAs&feature=related
Normal
September 19th, 2009
8:10 am
What is a pirates favorite toy store? Toy’s AARRH Us
mike
September 19th, 2009
8:23 am
Yet another Palin article from the guy who actually wrote a column titles “Why are conservative pundits so fixated on Sarah Palin?”
Why are you so fixated on Sarah Palin, Jay?
mike
September 19th, 2009
8:29 am
I am surprised that Jay, being such an outspoken opponent of corruption, has yet to write about Charlie Rangel’s tax evasion. I guess he is too fixated on the things that really matter, like doing lame parodies of Sarah Palin.
I guess Jay is much more of an outspoken opponent of Republicans than an outspoken opponent of corruption. He sure doesn’t have any problem with crooked Democrats.
TnGelding
September 19th, 2009
8:33 am
Let her go, Jay.
Taxpayer
September 19th, 2009
8:34 am
hehehe
TnGelding
September 19th, 2009
8:36 am
Tit for tat?
“Top Russian official: no missiles near Poland”
MOSCOW (AP) – Russia has scrapped a plan to deploy missiles in a region near Poland after President Barack Obama dumped his predecessor’s plan for a U.S. missile defense in Eastern Europe, a Russian deputy defense minister said Saturday. Vladimir Popovkin told Ekho Moskvy radio that Obama’s move has made the deployment of Iskander short-range missiles in the Kaliningrad region unnecessary.
http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/stories/E/EU_RUSSIA_MISSILE_DEFENSE?SITE=GACAT&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2009-09-19-06-53-11
Northern Songs LTD
September 19th, 2009
8:49 am
Seen this: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2009/09/18/2009-09-18_guess_whos_coming_to_dinner_sarah_palin_ebay_bids_soar_for_chance_to_dine_with_e.html
The author asks if here’ll be moose on the menu. For $63K, she better be wearing short sorts and a tank top.
TnGelding
September 19th, 2009
8:50 am
“GOP lawmaker warns against health care changes”
WASHINGTON (AP) – Republicans maintain the Obama administration’s attempt to overhaul the health system will lead to government-run health care that causes delays in treatment, threatening your health and even worse. Rep. Sue Myrick of North Carolina issued the latest warning against a Democratic-backed health care overhaul as she recalled her fight with breast cancer. She said in the GOP’s weekly radio and Internet address that her diagnosis “took six doctors, three mammograms and one ultrasound before they finally they found my cancer. This process took only a few weeks.”
http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_REPUBLICANS_HEALTH_CARE?SITE=GACAT&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2009-09-19-07-23-06
(Sounds like we need better training for doctors and technicians. Maybe we should make fraud a capital offense?)
Normal
September 19th, 2009
8:51 am
With apologies to Mike, do y’all remember Marilyn Chambers of “Behind the Green Door” fame? Before anyone knew she was doing “those” kind of movies, (XXX), she was the spokeswoman of Dove, pomolive, one of those type companies, and was on TV commercials a lot. Being the all American House Wife…
Well, Sarah reminds me of her in some way I can’t explain, but while I know she’s not in “those” movies (one would hope), as a poker player who believes in hunches, something is going to come down on her…I’d bet on it.
FredGSanford
September 19th, 2009
8:52 am
I wished the Repubs would just distance themselves from her. She is definitely not what the conservatives need. Repubs do a lot of stupid things, but I highly doubt the majority would endorse her as a candidate for PRESBO.
TnGelding
September 19th, 2009
8:54 am
Northern Songs LTD
September 19th, 2009
8:49 am
And what’s for dessert?
“She is, quite simply, one of the most talked-about people in the U.S.,” the auction blurb brags. (Jay is certainly doing his part.)
FredGSanford
September 19th, 2009
8:56 am
Maybe some misuse of funds while she was Governor, but I doubt there is anything else. Afterall, she’s just a housewife. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Hubba, hubba.
TnGelding
September 19th, 2009
8:58 am
Normal
September 19th, 2009
8:51 am
Who could forget Marilyn?
Don’t forget your message to the president.
NRB
September 19th, 2009
9:06 am
Jay, I think one of your children is playing with the computer again.
Taxpayer
September 19th, 2009
9:08 am
If we could only fit this on a bumper sticker. Republiscum.
NRB
September 19th, 2009
9:20 am
Well Taxpayer, who cares…I think social security should be eliminated, but at some point I’m going to “benefit” from it by getting back ten cents for every dollar I’ve put into it. Big deal.
ArrrW-(the original)
September 19th, 2009
9:24 am
That could well be the worst pirate parody I’ve ever read. I bet if the entire second grade in metro Atlanta was given an assignment to write this piece the one we’re presented with here would come in near last. For all you Nittany Lions out there I hope your football team outshines your journalism department today.
MY crow’s nest????? On a pirate parody???? Shiver me timbers.
A rare Saturday foray into the forest awaits. See y’all
jconservative
September 19th, 2009
9:29 am
Normal September 19th, 2009 8:51 am
“With apologies to Mike, do y’all remember Marilyn Chambers of “Behind the Green Door” fame?”
The product was Ivory Snow. Had Chamber’s picture holding a baby on the box. In a marketing class I took this was listed as one of the all time screw ups.
She will make a lot of money off of the “social conservative” wing of the Republican party over the coming years but she will never make it to elected national office.
Jason
September 19th, 2009
9:30 am
Oh, another liberal columnist drooling over Palin. Imagine that. (yawn)
Let’s see here, Nancy Pelosi said this week that those who oppose ObamaCare and Democrats are prone to violence. No, I’m not kidding here:
“I have concerns about some of the language that is being used because I saw … I saw this myself in the late ’70s in San Francisco,” Pelosi said, choking up and with tears forming in her eyes. “This kind of rhetoric is just, is really frightening and it created a climate in which we, violence took place and … I wish that we would all, again, curb our enthusiasm in some of the statements that are made.”
Huh, well that’s interesting. In DC earlier this week over 100,000 Conservative protesters had a rally and not one single arrest was made, let alone any property damage. Now compare that to the leftists who protested the G4 Summit. Uh huh. Of course, I won’t bring up that poor old Conservative ObamaCare protester who got his finger bitten off or that Conservative ObamaCare protester who got beaten up or that left winger who trashed a Democrat’s office spraying it with Nazi symbols in the hopes Conservatives would get blamed (Google them). Cry me some more tears, Nanny Pelosi.
Now, you do realize that being against ObamaCare and higher taxes means you are a racist, or in Pelosi’s term, “wearing Swastikas.” Okay. Next up is the ACORN bust. Who amongst us is actually surprised that people (liberals naturally) are saying *that* is racist. And Bertha Lewis, ACORN CEO, said they are coordinated “attacks.” What? No domestic terrorist name calling here?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32909302/ns/politics-washington_post
“The White House is collecting and storing comments and videos placed on its social-networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube without notifying or asking the consent of the site users, a failure that appears to run counter to President Obama’s promise of a transparent government and his pledge to protect privacy on the Internet.”
Yeah, I’m sure the DNC media would be so silent if the Bush administration did that, kinda like “illegal” wiretapping – oh wait, Obama extended that Bush program, my bad! Well give this White House some credit: at least they shut down that “snitch on your neighbor bad mouthing ObamaCare” website.
“Without ever having been reviewed by either the New York Times or the Washington Post, Mark Levin’s Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto has now sold one million copies, according to its publisher, Threshold Editions.”
Yawn. Par for the course in liberal DNC media land.
“Senate Democrats are going to have to move forward on healthcare without a single Republican supporter after Sen. Olympia Snowe said Tuesday she could not back the Finance Committee’s bill.”
So loooooong, fair weeeeeeell, auf Wiedersehen….(that’s a lyric in The Sound Of Music for you Obama voters).
“It’s not every day that you hear a Democratic senator charge that a fellow Democrat is proposing to raise taxes on the middle class, but that is what happened on Tuesday when Sen. Jay Rockefeller, D-W.Va., ripped into the health-care bill developed by Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mt., the chairman of the Senate Finance Committee. The West Virginia Democrat worries, however, that a lot of middle class workers, like the coal miners in his state, will end up facing “a big, big tax” under the Baucus bill because they currently enjoy generous employer-provided health care benefits which they receive tax free.”
Phbbbbbttttt. You think the Pelosicrats and Obama are going to listen to this guy when they totally ignored the CBO’s warnings? Man please. They have a mandate to pass for an extreme minority of Americans!
“The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Saturday shows that 32% of the nation’s voters Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President. Thirty-nine percent (39%) Strongly Disapprove giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -7″
Those RACISTS!!!
By the by, who out there wants to bet that GM will be back in Washington asking for more money, especially when they are forced to build ecobox death traps for Obama’s “green” world? Yeah, that Obama who wants to rid the world of nukes circa Carter.
Taxpayer
September 19th, 2009
9:31 am
NRB,
I paid into Social Security a part of my paycheck and in exchange, I get a retirement benefit once I qualify. I like that security. Obviously, you don’t. Big deal. That was hardly the issue in the video that I posted though. What did you think about the background info on Dick Armey. He should be a little more grateful for all that the tax payers have provided him with over the years and a little less hypocritical now that he has his off our backs. The same holds for all those that complain about government benefits while reaping their benefits and denying the same for those that actually paid for them. Hypocrites, liars and scum. That’s the Republican party that I know.
ArrrW-(the original)
September 19th, 2009
9:32 am
Good gawd y’all. Marilyn Chambers was never in TV commercials nor was she a spokes-model. Her mainstream advertising career was having her picture on the cover of the Ivory Snow box.
And she’s dead. RIP Marilyn.
Bye!
Normal
September 19th, 2009
9:34 am
MR. PRESIDENT, BRING OUR TROOPS HOME NOW
Thanks, TN, still foggy, I guess…
NRB
September 19th, 2009
9:34 am
I paid into Social Security a part of my paycheck and in exchange, I get a retirement benefit once I qualify. I like that security
—————————————-
Because you’re too dumb to know how to invest your own money, so you let the government steal it from you and give you back ten cents on the dollar.
You’re the man.
I could take that same dollar and turn it into a hundred…you go have fun with that dime. Don’t spend it all in one place. Sucker.
NRB
September 19th, 2009
9:40 am
What did you think about the background info on Dick Armey.
——————————
I really don’t care what Dick Armey does. It doesn’t change the fact that we need less government, low taxes, and a bigger free market.
This is more of a desperate attempt to shoot the messenger, more than anything else. And considering your source, couldn’t be less credible.
3rd Party Guy
September 19th, 2009
9:40 am
TnGelding
September 19th, 2009
8:54 am
What about this?
“Maples, who owns a defense contracting company, says she fully supports the military.”
Uh no, the government supports her, via the US taxpayer. Of course.
Sarah Palin, Michael Jackson, Al Sharpton, Al Gore, the Bushes, the Kennedys, they’re all the same. The problem is not them, it’s the sycophants who worship them. Bunch of fawning pukes, I say.
Taxpayer
September 19th, 2009
9:40 am
NRB,
Because you’re too dumb to know how to invest your own money, so you let the government steal it from you and give you back ten cents on the dollar.
You’re the man.
I could take that same dollar and turn it into a hundred…you go have fun with that dime. Don’t spend it all in one place. Sucker.
Tell me all about what I have, NRB. I think you’re just jealous. Do you need a hug. Well come ‘ere, let’s get you that hug.
Taxpayer
September 19th, 2009
9:47 am
I really don’t care what Dick Armey does. It doesn’t change the fact that we need less government, low taxes, and a bigger free market.
This is more of a desperate attempt to shoot the messenger, more than anything else. And considering your source, couldn’t be less credible.
Of course you care what that Dick has to say, NRB. Because those are some of the things that he said he was for giving you, all the way back in 1994, with Noot Gingrich, and their Contract on America. As for the source, he is just reporting verifiable facts that anyone, even you, can confirm. Now give it a try. I’ll give you a big hug for trying.
NRB
September 19th, 2009
9:51 am
That’s cool, you can duck n’ dodge.
There is no legitimate defense for the existence of Social Security. But then, liberals aren’t legitimate human beings.
NRB
September 19th, 2009
9:54 am
Of course you care what that Dick has to say, NRB.
——————————–
No, actually I don’t…though if what you say is correct, than yes he is a bit of a hypocrite.
But we still need less government, low taxes, and a true free market.
What whatshisname says and does is of little consequence to those facts.
Normal
September 19th, 2009
9:57 am
What goes on behind the green door, stays behind the green door…
Taxpayer
September 19th, 2009
9:58 am
NRB
September 19th, 2009
9:51 am
That’s cool, you can duck n’ dodge.
There is no legitimate defense for the existence of Social Security. But then, liberals aren’t legitimate human beings.
What is this so-called duck and dodge. You claimed to know all about me but you back down when I call you out. Are you referring to that duck and dodge, NRB.
Now, would you like to compare social security to some other guaranteed benefits program or just continue to make baseless claims about your investment prowess. Show me all about how you can invest 6.2% of your paycheck and get a better guaranteed return.
AmVet
September 19th, 2009
9:58 am
“I really don’t care what Dick Armey does.”
OF COURSE, you don’t! He has an R after his name!
That is why this miraculously found new sense of outrage since the ascension of the Uppity Muslim is so transparently laughable.
Had people like the right-wing dolts on this blog clamored for an end to Bush/Cheney’s criminal, deadly and bungling ways it would be fine, more than fine, for them to go ape since January 21.
But they did not. In the face of debacle after debacle, in light of disaster after deadly disaster and though they witnessed a magnitude of incompetence NEVER before seen in the West Wing, they did what?……………………………………………………………… They said and did nothing.
Not the first peep.
And they did so for one reason only.
Like their non-conservative heroes in the hemorrhaging GOP, they are total frauds.
And gutlessly hypocritical to their dying days, they are in many cases too stupid to even realize that the RNC owns them. And that they work for the Republican Party, not the other way around.
You’ve done a heckuva job conned…
NRB
September 19th, 2009
10:07 am
Show me all about how you can invest 6.2% of your paycheck and get a better guaranteed return.
————————————————-
What do you mean “guaranteed return”. When I get a SS statement in the mail every year, even the government tells me that it’s running out funds and will be paying out less money than they expected.
Why not stick the money in a ROTH IRA instead…if you want safety put it into an indexed bond fund.
Or use it to start up a small business.
Or fund an annuity.
Whatever.
How about you show me YOUR investment prowess and tell me the return your getting in your social security “investment”? Are you getting a 10% return on your money? 5%? Maybe closer to 1%?
And the larger point, besides the fact that Social Security is an even worst “investment” than stuffing cash in a coffee can and burying it in the backyard, is the fact that I should be able to do whatever the hell I want with my own money.
@@
September 19th, 2009
10:08 am
If Sarah were indeed a pirate, what would her name be?
What would jay, the SWISHbuckler’s, name be? (sorry josef)
Mine is Iron Jenny Rackham….pronounced Rack ‘em.
Jason
September 19th, 2009
10:17 am
Anyone else find it humorous that the only thing the liberal Democrats can do is bitch about Republicans? I thought you clowns ran ALL of Washington now, JUST like you people wanted!
So shut UP and get to leading instead of bitching. Oh wait, my bad, you people CAN’T lead.
mm
September 19th, 2009
10:19 am
Palin, ye barnacle crusted sea scab of the scurvy dog GOP.
NRB, the blathering idiot of the Bookman blog.
@@
September 19th, 2009
10:21 am
TnG:
Left you a coupl’a songs downstairs. Good for what ails ‘ya.
(ISH)
Jay
September 19th, 2009
10:24 am
@@, for the rest of this rainy Talk Like a Pirate Day I shall be referred to by my pirate name of Bloody Sam Kidd.
Has a helluva nice ring to it, don’t you think?
ArrrW-(the original)
September 19th, 2009
10:34 am
The monogram starting with BS certainly fits.
OH NO…maybe BSK and I are related. I be Captain Jack Kidd, but you can still call me ArrW.
Even though there’s no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you’re the one in charge. Even though you’re not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!
Now where the he!! is FedEx with my circuit boards?
getalife
September 19th, 2009
10:35 am
Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum.
Palin got crushed then cut and run.
@@
September 19th, 2009
10:36 am
Sho ’nuff, jay….Bloody Sam Kidd?
Sounds like the runt in a litter.
Normal
September 19th, 2009
10:38 am
I got Dirty Tom Rackham…@@, we must be related…
Taxpayer
September 19th, 2009
10:44 am
NRB,
Social security is guaranteed and backed by the same government that backs all those loans from countries like China and other investors. There is no safer investment. There is nothing else safer. Even your FDIC-backed interest-bearing bank account is less safe. And, of course the return on investment changes with time on your social security investment but the only way to void it would be by an act of congress that also withstands the scrutiny of the Supreme court and we the people. On the contrary, those investments in stocks and bonds, well, the average annual inflation-adjusted return for the S&P 500 from 2000 through 2008 was -6.3%. What a deal, huh. How did Madoff do it!
GEORrrrrGgge AMERrrrIC'N
September 19th, 2009
10:51 am
AAAaRrrgh… AVAST YEE! SARrrAHHHg IS THE LOVILEST OF LASSIES. ARrr, SHE CAN ME MAIN MAST ANYTIME.. AAAaRrrgh…
Yankee
September 19th, 2009
10:51 am
Pardon me but why was I not surprised that someone from ALABAMA bid and paid over $63K on Ebay to have dinner with Sarah Palin? I bet the second highest bid was from JAW-JAW .
jconservative
September 19th, 2009
10:54 am
NRB – “There is no legitimate defense for the existence of Social Security.”
The defense is that social security is part of the socialist society created by the Democratic & Republican parties over the past 76 years.
Every president & congress since FDR as nurtured, expanded and carefully groomed social security into the “Great American Welfare System” that we have today. And that system is the original social security, plus all of its expansions, Medicare, Medicaid and all of its expansions & SCHIP and all of its expansions.
If you have ever voted for a Democrat or Republican for national office you have nobody to blame but yourself.