‘Collapse of civilization, with every human infected or dead’
As if threats of global warming, swine flu, economic collapse and nuclear bombs in the hands of terrorists weren’t enough, Canadian mathematicians at Carleton University and the University of Ottawa have issued a dire caution in a study published in new book, “Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress.” Without quick action, they predict that the end result will be “the collapse of civilisation, with every human infected or dead.”
The threat, of course, is zombies. Taking the characteristics of zombies as described in such noted scholarly works as George Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” and the 2004 version of “Dawn of the Dead,” they have plotted the likely course of a zombie outbreak in which the zombie infection is spread by bites, and in which zombies feed on dead human flesh. Using complex formulas comparing the rate of transmission versus the rate in which zombies could be killed, t
he predicted outcome is not pretty:
“An outbreak of zombies infecting humans is likely to be disastrous, unless extremely aggressive tactics are employed against the undead,” they write. “While aggressive quarantine may eradicate the infection, this is unlikely to happen in practice. A cure would only result in some humans surviving the outbreak, although they will still coexist with zombies. Only sufficiently frequent attacks, with increasing force, will result in eradication, assuming the available resources can be mustered in time.”
In other words, we would have to strike fast and strike hard. If we do not, “if the timescale of the outbreak increases, then the result is the doomsday scenario: an outbreak of zombies will result in the collapse of civilisation, with every human infected, or dead. This is because human births and deaths will provide the undead with a limitless supply of new bodies to infect, resurrect and convert.”
Just thought you’d want to know….
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© 2010 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
311 comments Add your comment
Class of '98
August 19th, 2009
3:57 pm
Great… more Democrat voters.
demwit
August 19th, 2009
3:58 pm
Progressive change you can believe in…
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
4:00 pm
They certainly look like many of the voters waiting in line to cast their ballots for Hope & Change.
Mr. Snarky
August 19th, 2009
4:08 pm
Watch out or Rush’s followers will eat your brain.
Paul
August 19th, 2009
4:09 pm
Remember what I said about if it occurs on the President’s watch he gets the credit or the blame, hmmmm? He’s been warned, well before the disaster occurs….
Personally, I’m hanging for the Twilight option. Vampires. The women ones look lots better than the zombie ones.
Paul
August 19th, 2009
4:10 pm
Mr. Snarky
They say you eat what your body lacks…
sorry…..
Mr. Snarky
August 19th, 2009
4:12 pm
It would be cool to be able to turn into a bat. Walking around with arms forward and bad posture…not so fun.
Paul
August 19th, 2009
4:19 pm
Mr. Snarky
I didn’t mean the personal pronoun ‘you.’ Meant it in the sense of ‘people.’
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
4:20 pm
I’m with you, Paul. Why is it that all the women vampires are stone-cold babes?
Paul
August 19th, 2009
4:27 pm
Dave R
Something about the transformation. Same subDNA structure of the receptors for guys’ adolescent hormones. We’ll have to ask Bosch when he returns. I have it on good authority he’s quite knowledgeable on the subject, having read Twilight while going through puberty -
number1ninja
August 19th, 2009
4:29 pm
Uhh, Dawn of the Dead already happened. It’s called modern America. Keep building those strip malls!
I Report/ Vast White Wing Conspirator :-) You Whine :-(
August 19th, 2009
4:29 pm
The percentage of Americans who hold a favorable view of the Democratic Party has slipped below 50 percent for the first time since President Barack Obama took office, according to a new Pew Research Center poll released Wednesday.
Only 49 percent of Americans now hold a favorable view of the Democratic Party, down from 62 percent in the same poll shortly after Obama assumed office.
With goofball editorial columns like this^^ is it any wonder the democrats crash and burn?
Dusty
August 19th, 2009
4:31 pm
Uh oh, Bookman’s lost it. And he was so young!! The stress!! The strain!! The liberals!!!
OK, Paul & Boschie,
How did they get out of this on BattleShip Galactica?? Let us know. QUICK!! EEWWWeee the zombieeees !!! erp!! slurp!!
mike
August 19th, 2009
4:33 pm
Is this a parody of global warming alarmism?
RW-(the original)
August 19th, 2009
4:33 pm
Is this finally the article arguing in favor of Pelosicare?
I Report/ Vast White Wing Conspirator :-) You Whine :-(
August 19th, 2009
4:34 pm
Chief Deputy Nevada Attorney General Conrad Hafen said Wednesday that Christopher Edwards’ plea deal strengthens a felony case against the Association of Community Organizers for Reform Now and Amy Busefink, a former regional voter registration director for ACORN.
Edwards pleaded guilty this week to two counts of conspiracy to commit the crime of compensation for registration of voters.
Aahhh, yes, pleading guilty to something that “never happened.”
Odd, isn’t it?
Paul
August 19th, 2009
4:34 pm
Dusty
Well, they had this Human-Cylon hybrid….
Really! They really did!
Dave R – you think the vampire women are all babes? Cylons…..
lol
August 19th, 2009
4:35 pm
The last gasp of the health care debacle.
Paul
August 19th, 2009
4:36 pm
RW-(the original)
Well, she IS featured in the picture….
RW-(the original)
August 19th, 2009
4:37 pm
There could be something to this article. I was at the post office, that entity that Obama says government health care will be like, a little while ago and I believe it really was staffed by zombies.
RW-(the original)
August 19th, 2009
4:39 pm
Paul,
She must have been heading to the Botox clinic. I didn’t recognize her until you pointed her out.
getalife
August 19th, 2009
4:42 pm
Looks like the town hall cons.
demwit
August 19th, 2009
4:43 pm
“Only cowards hide behind their guns” -Jay Brockman
RW-(the original)
August 19th, 2009
4:46 pm
Another mean sign shows up at a town hall meeting
Although this one may have come from one of Obama’s greenhouse meetings.
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
4:46 pm
Sorry, Paul, but I’m not up on all the Battlestar Galactica stuff.
I’m just remembering Salma Hayek in “From Dusk ’til Dawn” . . .
Among others.
USinUK
August 19th, 2009
4:47 pm
ladies remember … zombie boyfriends love you for your brains, not your body …
hope everyone is having a good evening – see you manana!
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
4:49 pm
Here’s my musical tribute to those in support of ObamaCare:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1auRCameVY
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
4:50 pm
Hey USinUK!
AmVet
August 19th, 2009
4:52 pm
“I was at the post office…”
Socialist.
“Only cowards hide behind their guns”
demwit, you keep using that phrase. I do not think it means what you think it means.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk
Taxpayer
August 19th, 2009
4:57 pm
Worst of all, Jay, zombies only eat brains.
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
4:59 pm
Or Kate Beckinsale in “Underworld” . . .
Yeah, give me a stone-cold vampire babe any day over some “flesh-falling-off-the-bone” zombie.
libs
August 19th, 2009
4:59 pm
Obama should draft a zombie bail out bill. I have even had a zombie over for dinner before. Zombie Czar. It’s a 10,000 page bill. The house and senate only need an hour to review it.
Yowsa
August 19th, 2009
5:00 pm
“Worst of all, Jay, zombies only eat brains.”
They would starve eating libs.
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
5:01 pm
Nobody says it better than David Byrne:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwvxWQP9Bxc
As a small point of irony, when I typed “david byrne don’t worry about the government” into the youtube search engine to find this song, result #19 was “President Obama Hosts a Health Reform Town Hall in Ohio”. Too funny.
George American
August 19th, 2009
5:02 pm
DON’T EAT A LIBERALS BRAIN. THEY ARE DISEASED!!!!
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
5:03 pm
“Worst of all, Jay, zombies only eat brains.”
Then you should have nothing to worry about, Taxpayer. :>)
@@
August 19th, 2009
5:04 pm
They can’t be leftist zombies ’cause they’re wearing clothes.
I hope all of you are happy.
I just got a speeding ticket.
Someway….somehow….I’m gonna figure out a way to make it your fault.
Thppbbtttt
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
5:05 pm
oops, that was “talking heads don’t worry about the government”. Try it yourself.
hopey changey
August 19th, 2009
5:06 pm
http://yfrog.com/5hshovelready2j
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
5:06 pm
Watch out, Bruno. If you call out Taxcheat, he might just have to . . . ignore you.
Brad Steel
August 19th, 2009
5:07 pm
“Great… more Democrat voters.”
“Progressive change you can believe in…”
“They certainly look like many of the voters waiting in line to cast their ballots for Hope & Change.”
Jeez, this crap is weak. Attempts at humor form the right are consistently lame. Dane Cook must be one of you fascists.
I Report/ Vast White Wing Conspirator :-) You Whine :-(
August 19th, 2009
5:07 pm
Critics of President Obama’s health-care overhaul are zeroing in on his senior adviser David Axelrod, whose former partners at a Chicago-based firm are the beneficiaries of huge ad buys — now at $24 million and counting — by White House allies in the reform fight.-Politico
Federal tax dollars to promote socialism, with some skimming off the top by the White House.
Anybody surprised?
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
5:08 pm
“Someway….somehow….I’m gonna figure out a way to make it your fault.”
You couldn’t charm your way out of it, @@ ??
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
5:08 pm
@@, just play the victim card. If that doesn’t work, play the race card. It always works for libs.
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
5:09 pm
“Watch out, Bruno. If you call out Taxcheat, he might just have to . . . ignore you.”
I’ve already called him out, and he came up empty.
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
5:11 pm
Brad Steele, in the immortal words of Sgt. Hulka, “Lighten up, Francis”.
GreenJeans
August 19th, 2009
5:11 pm
Does Zombie-ism not affect belly buttons?
DoggoneGA
August 19th, 2009
5:14 pm
“Attempts at humor form the right ”
This may be truer than you realize.
number1ninja
August 19th, 2009
5:16 pm
Utterly predictable and lame. At least mine was only lame.
Pogo
August 19th, 2009
5:20 pm
Funny, with the election of this joke of a president I thought zombi-ism had already taken control. How bout that “Cash For Clunkers” huh? The government can’t even run a MEASLEY 3 billion dollar program much less a 500 billion to 1 trillion one like Healthcare. Medicare; its broke. Post Office; It’s broke. Social Security; about to be broke. Medicaid (State Responsibility), it’s broke. Military; it pays 1000 dollars for toilet seats and billions for weapons systems that will be obsolete next year. Not much money for those pesky soliders though. The VA; until this year, it was touted as one of the biggest public failures of our illustrious government, especially in the area of healthcare(Hmm, what has changed with media?). Makes one feel real safe with government taking control of everything, doesn’t it? You people that are for government control of anything are certifiable. Certifiable what, you may ask? Certifiably moronic.
danjonglee
August 19th, 2009
5:21 pm
Lyndon Larouche supporter. Communists vs. Nazis, the age-old fight continues
GreenJeans, hoping she takes it in good humor
August 19th, 2009
5:22 pm
“You couldn’t charm your way out of it, @@ ??”
With neither charm nor boobs left at this stage, what did she have to toss? Teargas and a Batman escape?
@@
August 19th, 2009
5:22 pm
Bruno:
Charm doesn’t work on women when it’s a woman doing the charming. I’ve been stopped plenty of times — only two tickets — both women. Aaarrgghhhhhh…
Dave R:
I wouldn’t know how to go about playing a victim.
Yankee
August 19th, 2009
5:27 pm
Robert Novak outed a CIA agent, I say GOOD RIDDANCE. The Grim Reaper could not have picked anyone better except for DICK CHENEY and KARL ROVE.
Brad Steel
August 19th, 2009
5:27 pm
Dave R. Brad Steele, in the immortal words of Sgt. Hulka, “Lighten up, Francis”.
Oh tooo clever and funny, Dave. How long did you have to think to bring up that original gem? Can you recite a few lines of Caddy Shack too?
DoggoneGA
August 19th, 2009
5:27 pm
“only two tickets — both women. Aaarrgghhhhhh…”
Well…if the problem is that you’re speeding, and the situation is right, you can always use the “pull into a convenience store and make a mad dash for the bathroom” routine. What the heck? It just might work.
AmVet
August 19th, 2009
5:27 pm
Brad, I have repeatedly admonished the right wingers to NOT ever attempt humor.
Nor wittiness. Nor anything culturally relevant since, say 1949.
How many of them have ever shown any talent for it?
Dennis “The Half Hour News Hour” Miller is the freaking best thing they have and he is attempts at humor are putridly unfunny…
Granted quite a few of them are funny, as in bizarre, curious, dubious, fantastic, mysterious, perplexing, puzzling, queer, remarkable, strange, suspicious, unusual and weird.
But comical or humorous? yeah…not so much…
@@
August 19th, 2009
5:29 pm
Greenjeans:
If you’ll come pay my ticket for me, I promise to laugh. If you don’t, all you get is an (ISH).
DoggoneGA
August 19th, 2009
5:33 pm
“quite a few of them are funny”
You forgot peculiar
@@
August 19th, 2009
5:33 pm
Thanks DoggoneIt. Problem is in this instance I’da had to drive 10 miles to reach civilization.
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
5:33 pm
“Charm doesn’t work on women when it’s a woman doing the charming. I’ve been stopped plenty of times — only two tickets — both women.”
Unless that woman likes women…. ; > }
I got lucky last year after getting pulled over doing 83 on I-285 by a Sandy Springs motorcycle cop. A big part of their city revenue comes from working their piece of 285, so I was surprised when he let me off with a warning.
And speaking of “Zombie” movies, any fans here of “The Omega Man”?? The 1971 remake with Charlton Heston was awesome in its own campy way.
GreenJeans
August 19th, 2009
5:36 pm
@@, I’m guilty of profiling…never stopped to consider the female cop angle. And really, I was funnin’ you.
And if I knew what an ISH was, I might opt for paying the ticket. Or I could send you a case of peach salsa and jam; spent the weekend putting some up.
Paul
August 19th, 2009
5:40 pm
@@
[[Charm doesn’t work on women when it’s a woman doing the charming.]]
Well, from what I saw of the cop who responded to my house when an alarm went off, it might…
Remember – ‘the cruise control button is your friend”
Paul
August 19th, 2009
5:41 pm
Bruno
I just watched it a couple months ago! Campy now, really mainstream back then.
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
5:43 pm
Yeah, Brad, I can. And this one describes you:
“Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too” – Judge Smails
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dbLfD5Vjq4
Paul
August 19th, 2009
5:43 pm
@@
Okay, so how fast were you going?
Taxpayer
August 19th, 2009
5:45 pm
Yowsa
August 19th, 2009
5:00 pm
“Worst of all, Jay, zombies only eat brains.”
They would starve eating libs.
You mean, libs suffering from the same thing that Reagan suffered from — a lack of brain.
booger
August 19th, 2009
5:45 pm
Jay,
Don’t worry, Al Gore is on it.
DoggoneGA
August 19th, 2009
5:46 pm
“Remember – ‘the cruise control button is your friend”
Sure, if you HAVE cruise control
lol
August 19th, 2009
5:46 pm
“Jeez, this crap is weak. Attempts at humor form the right are consistently lame. Dane Cook must be one of you fascists.”
Look kids, kos taught this bubba a new word.
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
5:46 pm
“I just watched it a couple months ago! Campy now, really mainstream back then.”
Not totally mainstream since it included an interracial kiss.
AmVet
August 19th, 2009
5:47 pm
For @@,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQyWmaTSzNs&feature=related
@@
August 19th, 2009
5:47 pm
Greenjeans, I knew you were just funnin’. (ISH) Insert Smile Here
Bruno:
Was Omega Man the one where somebody’s skin goes all lumpy and bumpy? If so, follow the instructions on this optical illusion. I gave it to RW once — he said it didn’t work for him.
Use the back of your hand. Weird!
Mr. Paul Cruz:
Why do I get the impression, you’re one of those people I’m always passing?
ted kennedy's liver
August 19th, 2009
5:48 pm
“You mean, libs suffering from the same thing that Reagan suffered from — a lack of brain.’
No that would be you in the last thread.
Taxpayer
August 19th, 2009
5:48 pm
@@
August 19th, 2009
5:04 pm
They can’t be leftist zombies ’cause they’re wearing clothes.
I hope all of you are happy.
I just got a speeding ticket.
Someway….somehow….I’m gonna figure out a way to make it your fault.
Thppbbtttt
Lay of the speeding and that won’t happen.
frak
August 19th, 2009
5:49 pm
At least we won’t have to worry about global warming any more
Brad Steel
August 19th, 2009
5:50 pm
AmVet,
I find it ironic (funny.. no, pathetic … certainly) that conservatives continue their lame attempts at humor. They’re much better at name-calling and yell-downs.
The ubiquitous chubby double-chinness so well demonstrated by Beck Limbaugh and Hannity to be sort of funny in a fat-guy-dripping-burger-sauce-on-his-shirt sort of way.
But their skits and bits are as lame and as relevant as the canned laughter from
Small Wonder
tawana braly
August 19th, 2009
5:51 pm
‘Robert Novak outed a CIA agent, I say GOOD RIDDANCE. The Grim Reaper could not have picked anyone better except for DICK CHENEY and KARL ROVE.’
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^has pictures of all three in his nightstand.
DoggoneGA
August 19th, 2009
5:54 pm
“At least we won’t have to worry about global warming any more”
According to the Myan calendar the world will come to an end on Dec 21, 2012…so what’s to worry anyway?
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
5:55 pm
“I gave it to RW once — he said it didn’t work for him. Use the back of your hand. Weird!”
He must not have done enough drugs back in the day.
The Omega Man was a remake of a Vincent Price movie called “The Last Man on Earth” in which everyone but the protagonist is infected.
Here’s my song for @@ :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyJWVw6xqY0
GreenJeans
August 19th, 2009
5:57 pm
Amvet, message for you one floor down at 5:04.
Brad Steel
August 19th, 2009
5:57 pm
Dave R.,
you’re on a roll. don’t stop now. how about reciting some yakoff schmirnoff, kareok’ing some weird al, or dropping some of glenn beck’s funny voices. a bill clinton imitation is real timely too. you’re a hoot!
mike
August 19th, 2009
6:02 pm
“‘Robert Novak outed a CIA agent, I say GOOD RIDDANCE. The Grim Reaper could not have picked anyone better except for DICK CHENEY and KARL ROVE.’”
Ah those “tolerant” liberals. I like the shouting in caps though. That is always the sign of a deep thinker.
ByteMe
August 19th, 2009
6:02 pm
Late to the party, but…
Kerry was FOR zombies before he was AGAINST them.
AmVet
August 19th, 2009
6:04 pm
Brad, Beck and Hannity trying ANY kind of humor is like them teaching science.
Mean spirited little turds cannot only laugh at others. But never themselves.
And zounds, what was that Small Wonder shiite?
Here’s a real skit by those cheeky Brits:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT3_UCm1A5I
and one from a real comedian:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
6:07 pm
Back in college when I delivered pizzas for Dominos, there were a few songs that gave you automatic immunity from tickets when they came on the radio:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgZSnAkQc4c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwqMKf7r7Xg
“There’s a voice in my head that drives my heel…”
I Report/ Vast White Wing Conspirator :-) You Whine :-(
August 19th, 2009
6:07 pm
The program offers up to $4,500 to shoppers who trade in vehicles getting 18 mpg or less for a more fuel-efficient car or truck. Dealers pay the rebates out of pocket, then must wait to be reimbursed by the government. But administrative snags and heavy paperwork have created a backlog of unpaid claims.
Let’s call it rationing.
Er, auto dealer Death Panel?
whodat
August 19th, 2009
6:08 pm
”
Dave R.,
you’re on a roll. don’t stop now. how about reciting some yakoff schmirnoff, kareok’ing some weird al, or dropping some of glenn beck’s funny voices. a bill clinton imitation is real timely too. you’re a hoot!’
Should of seen him destroy taxcheat in the last thread. It was highly entertaining.
Taxpayer
August 19th, 2009
6:09 pm
Bruno
August 19th, 2009
5:09 pm
“Watch out, Bruno. If you call out Taxcheat, he might just have to . . . ignore you.”
I’ve already called him out, and he came up empty.
Bruno,
Don’t be silly. I went outside and you were nowhere to be seen.
Brad Steel
August 19th, 2009
6:09 pm
Small Wonder was a painfully unfunny family sitcom. It wasn’t even funny for kids. Not it’s just an obscure/ironic pop culture reference.
Tom
August 19th, 2009
6:11 pm
Great photo of Republicons in action!!
lolsers
August 19th, 2009
6:12 pm
“Small Wonder was a painfully unfunny family sitcom. It wasn’t even funny for kids.”
Kind of like your schtick here?
Taxpayer
August 19th, 2009
6:13 pm
whodat
August 19th, 2009
6:08 pm
”
Dave R.,
you’re on a roll. don’t stop now. how about reciting some yakoff schmirnoff, kareok’ing some weird al, or dropping some of glenn beck’s funny voices. a bill clinton imitation is real timely too. you’re a hoot!’
Should of seen him destroy taxcheat in the last thread. It was highly entertaining.
I think I’ll be OK. I can hardly find a scratch.
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
6:15 pm
Nah, Brad, we’ll stick to Caddyshack – the best ever movie for golfers. Another one just for you and you prostitutes on the liberal side:
“Wanna earn five dollars the hard way?” – Al Czervik
eek
August 19th, 2009
6:17 pm
“I think I’ll be OK. I can hardly find a scratch.’
Denial looks good on you.
Taxpayer
August 19th, 2009
6:18 pm
eek
August 19th, 2009
6:17 pm
“I think I’ll be OK. I can hardly find a scratch.’
Denial looks good on you.
Let me try it. Eek! You’re right, it does.
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
6:19 pm
Yeah Taxcheat, it’s hard to get hurt when you curl up in a ball and suck your thumb.
Taxpayer
August 19th, 2009
6:26 pm
Taxpayer
August 19th, 2009
4:18 pm
Dave R.
August 19th, 2009
4:08 pm
Taxcheat, did you or did you not write the following at 2:05?
“A self-proclaimed “fighter pilot” that could not even show up when he was supposed to but perhaps I’m just being too picky, demanding the truth and what not.”
I quote: “Could not even show up when he was supposed to.” Really? Do you have proof about that? CBS couldn’t prove it, but the almighty Taxcheat has the proof!
‘Nuff said.
And yes, my referring to you as Taxcheat is a sign of disrespect. Glad you could at least figure that out. I have no respect for those who blindly attack others without facts to back their points up. That is your way of life on this blog, Taxcheat. Try doing something different, and maybe I’ll show you some respect – if you earn it.
Well, DaveR, since you have now openly admitted that you intentionally display disrespect toward someone that you don’t even know while simultaneously demanding an explanation for your errors, over and over and over, I will no longer respond to your utter ignorance and stupidity. So, have fun jerking off, jerkoff. As a reminder of this, I will occassionally post a copy of this message whenever you post one of your disrespectful messages addressed to taxcheat or whomever. Don’t say that I did not give you a chance, again, son.
John Edwards Illegitimate son
August 19th, 2009
6:30 pm
I support the public option for the zombies.
number1ninja
August 19th, 2009
6:33 pm
You idiot cons sound like the Detroit Lions. Yaaaay, preaseason champs! Good Lord. Don’t even know when they look like fools.